Be sure to read the previous chapter. It was posted days ago but an email notification was never sent by and if you don't read it first you will be lost in this chapter.

"How did I ever let you talk me into this?"

Alex gives Casey a nervous look as they take a seat in the car of the ferris wheel.

Casey smiles and locks their door, then buckles her safety belt and instructs Alex to do the same. Alex fumbles with hers, and Casey quickly brushes her hands away and buckles the belt herself.

She pulls it tight and flashes Alex a reassuring smile. Alex doesn't look quite as enthused. She hates amusement park rides. She's afraid of heights and usually refuses to go on any ride. But Casey had begged her to come with her to Coney Island, and against her protests, Alex is now seated on a ferris wheel.

It starts moving, the car going up. Alex grips the safety bar and closes her eyes, a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Alex, relax, open your eyes. It's a beautiful sight."

Alex keeps her eyes squeezed shut and shakes her head. She can feel the car going higher and she knows if she looks she is going to freak out.

"Alex," Casey prods again. "You will regret it if you don't look."

Alex takes a deep breath and opens her eyes. And in that split second, she wishes she hadn't.

They are high - really high. Alex can see tree tops and the top of the nearby rollercoaster. "Shit," Alex eeks out, and she clutches the safety bar again, her face devoid of color and feeling light headed. "Shit, shit."

She sucks in a breath and Casey turns to look at her, realizing just how scared Alex is. She acts on instinct, prying Alex's hand off the safety bar and holding it tightly."It's okay. Look at me," Casey instructs. "Look at me, Alex."

Alex pops her eyes open and panicked blue eyes meet green as Casey tries to calm her down.

Casey had no idea that Alex would freak out like this. She expected her to complain, but not to act so absolutely frightened. She mentally scolds herself for making her do this.

Alex is trying to catch her breathe and Casey talks soothingly to her. "Hey, you're with me. I won't let anything happen to you. Do you trust me?"

Alex nods, her eyes wide. She trusts Casey, possibly more than she's ever trusted another human being. Casey always has her best interests at heart and would do anything to protect her.

She's the best friend a person could ask for.

"You're safe. I promise. The ride is almost over." Casey slides closer to Alex and instead of holding onto the safety bar she slings her arm around Alex.

Alex leans into her and feels herself calming down. She takes a couple more deep breaths.

She's okay. Casey is with her. Casey will make sure she is okay. She keeps reminding her this, that as long as Casey is there she will be fine.

The car is ground level now and Casey yells at the ride operator to let them off. He does, and Alex gets out of the car so quickly she's surprised there isn't a trail of smoke behind her.

Once safely on the ground, Alex leans against a fence and finally catches her breath. Casey is right beside her, her hand on Alex's back and a look of concern on her face.

"What, no sarcastic comment?" Alex aks with a hint of a smile when she feels sufficiently calm. She's come to expect her best friend to give her some good natured teasing in situations such as this.

But Casey's face is still full of concern, her eyes conveying how concerned she is. "Even I know when not to joke. Are you okay? Are you going to be sick?"

Alex shakes her head, turning to face Casey. "I'm okay."

Alex visibly relaxs looking at Casey. Her best friend always makes her feel better. A smile forms on her face, despite how terrified she had been just moments before.

Casey sighs in relief and smiles. "Thank God. Jeez, blondie. Dramatic much?"She knows Alex well enough to know when it's okay to joke around. When Alex is in the mindset to take teasing, or when it will piss her off.

Alex laughs. "I told you I couldn't do rides. That I wouldn't be good company for you. But, alas, you wanted me to come. And I can't say no to you, so here we are."

Casey puts her arm around Alex's shoulder. "You're always good company. Even when you're being unreasonable. There isn't anyone else I would want to hang out with."

Casey has always had the power to comfort Alex and make her believe everything will be okay. Always.

Alex wishes Casey were here now.

Alex doesn't come down from her panic attack for several minutes. And when she does, she shakes Olivia off and moves to total embarrassment for the way she just carried on.

She's stronger, more composed than this. She can't let herself be vulnerable, especially at the office in front of Olivia.

She moves to sit at her desk, avoiding Olivia's worried gaze and looking away in shame. She opens a folder on her desk and clears her throat.

Alex's tactics for dealing with anything she is embarrassed about is avoidance and pretending it never happened.

But Olivia knows better than to fall for this act. She's only seen Alex break down a few times before, and every time it was the same - Alex acting like she's fine only to break down again later.

She needs to deal with her feelings in order to move forward.

"Alex," Olivia says, moving to stand in front of her desk. She closes the folder in front of her and rests her fingers on it. "You need to go home."

Alex avoids her gaze and pries it away from Olivia. "I'm fine. I'm in the middle of a big case. I can't afford to take a day off."

Olivia opens her mouth to reply when she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. She quickly looks at it and is relieved to see it's a text from Casey. She says she is on her way to the office and Olivia silently slides her phone back in her pocket.

"You can't just go back to work," Olivia tells her. "Alex, we need to talk about this. You can't act like nothing happened."

Alex is writing something and doesn't even look up. "It didn't."

"You had a breakdown," Olivia reminds her.

Alex is getting irritated and feeling the panic well up inside her again. She knows if Olivia doesn't stop confronting her, she's going to lose it again. She's going to lose it and she doesn't think she can pull herself out a second time.

Olivia doesn't know whether she's impressed that Alex can act like nothing just happened or infuriated that she cares so little about herself that she won't face what's going on.

"Alex -"

She finally looks up from her paperwork, her eyes flashing angrily. "Olivia! I have work to do. I'm sure you do too. Now would you please leave my office?"

Olivia doesn't want to leave, but she knows she has to do what Alex asks of her. Not doing so will only serve to make her more upset

And if she does leave, Alex could have another break down with no one to help her through it

It's a double edged sword; it always is with Alex. She is a very complicated and often times difficult person.

Olivia sighs and moves to the door, accepting defeat. She says goodbye to Alex and leaves her office, hoping that Casey won't take too long to arrive and that she did the right thing by texting her.

.2

She's parked and the car is off, but Casey stays seated behind the wheel, trying to gather her strength to walk into the building. To walk the hallways that used to make her feel like she was someone.

She knows as soon as she enters she will be looked at and talked about. She wanted to come back here, on her own terms. She isn't ready yet.

But Alex needs her. Yes she woke up still angry and upset with her fiancee, but she's always been there when Alex has needed her and that's not going to change now.

She finally forces herself to make that long trek to the building. She zips her coat up to her chin, as if it's going to make her more comfortable and invisible.

She walks through the reception area to the familiar elevator she's ridden more times than she can count. She keeps her head down, avoiding gazes as she steps on the elevator and hits the button for Alex's floor.

She doesn't know any of her fellow passengers on the ride up and the silence is more than okay with her. She would rather ride in strained silence than dodge "that's her" looks and words.

When she gets off the elevator on Alex's floor, she hesitates. She used to feel at home here. Used to strut these halls as if she owned them. Her office was on the same floor as Alex's so she knows these halls well. She could walk them blindly.

But right now she feels like she doesn't belong. She feels sick and light headed, like a nervous college freshmen on their first day on campus.

She forces herself to start walking, and is met with looks from former colleagues and staffers that she passes in the hall. No one says anything to her, but their looks say more than their words ever could.

The door to Alex's office is closed and the blinds are pulled. She knows she's in there. She only pulls the blinds when she wants complete privacy; after a loss or a tough day.

Casey raises her hand and knocks awkwardly. She doesn't know if Alex is still mad at her and doesn't know what else to do.

"Come back later please," comes the reply from the other side of the door.

Casey stiffens. Alex's voice. It's only been a day since she's heard it but hearing it now is like the first time all over again. It always gives Casey the chills when Alex speaks in her husky, no nonsense tone.

Casey doesn't answer. Instead she opens the door and walks in the office.

Alex immediately stands before she even sees who it is. Who would dare defy her words.

When she sees Casey, she completely crumbles.

Alex and Casey's eyes meet, and at first Casey thinks that Alex is still angry. Neither of them speak; they just stare each other down.

Alex breaks first. Her eyes fill with tears and she says, "Casey."

She doesn't ask why Casey is there. In that moment it doesn't matter. They move toward each other end throw their arms around the other, holding on tight.

Alex is crying again, without even realizing it. Casey squeezes her tighter and whispers, "it's okay. I'm here. I love you."

It feels so good to be in Casey's arms again. It's only been little more than a day but to Alex's heart it seems like much longer.

Their fight, all the anger Alex had towards Casey about the pictures - it all fades and disappears completely. Casey is here, and she's all that Alex needs. All she will ever need.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry," Alex sobs into Casey's shoulder. "It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry."

"Shhhh. It's okay, Alex. I forgive you. And I'm sorry too, for what happened and what I said to you. I didn't mean it. I acted really childish."

"Casey," Alex says through tears, pulling away from the redhead long enough to look her in the eyes. She sighs and rests their foreheads together. Casey reaches up and caresses Alex's cheeks. "I love you."

Casey smiles and gives Alex a deep, long kiss. "I love you too. I'm sorry we fought. I shouldn't have had those pictures. I -"

Alex shakes her head and puts her finger to Casey's lips. "Let's not talk about it right now, okay?" Casey nods and Alex smoothes her hair back, beaming proudly at her girl.

"Olivia texted me and said you were having a rough day. How about you come home early with me and we go on a date tonight? Anything you want to do," Casey suggests.

Alex should have known that Olivia contacted Casey. She should be angry but she's not. She's actually grateful. Just Casey's presence makes her feel a million times better.

Alex has a lot more work to do. But she doesn't have court today and nothing to really keep her at the office. She should go home with Casey.

So she gives in and packs up all her paperwork to take home and work on later. Casey waits by the door for her and links their arms together before opening the door and walking out together.

They are busy talking to each other as they walk, paying no attention to anyone or anything around them.

If they had been, they would have noticed the man standing to the side in the lobby, watching them and taking notes.