We went home in silence. I glanced over at the captain and he just kept staring straight ahead. When we got home, Steve took his jacket off and hung it up before heading to the living room, sitting down on the couch and turned the TV on.

I kicked off my high heels and went to go sit down on the couch next to him. I curled up beside him with my legs folded underneath me. He was flipping through the channels on the TV before deciding to settle on the baseball game that was playing.

We sat silence with only the sound in the room is the TV. Finally, the silence was beginning to bother me.

"Alright, I get it, you're mad. We should have told you, but we knew you wouldn't agree. You needed the push."

He shook his head and shrugged, "I'm not mad."

"Then what are you? You won't speak to me, and you're being quite cold."

"I'm not mad," he repeated.

I stared at him and waited for him to explain some more, but he didn't. So, I asked again, "If you aren't mad, then what are you?"

He turned his blue eyes on me, anger burning deep inside them as he snapped, "I'm pissed."

I cringed at his tone of voice but nodded. "You have every right to be pissed."

"Every right? Loki, you went behind my back and invited two of my friends to join us for dinner knowing that they had yet to learn of you being here. Do you not understand what you have just done?"

I nodded, "Yes, I do. I understand that I hurt you and-"

"Hurt?" he scowled at me which made me flinch away from him again. "You may have just cost me two of my friends, my team mates."

"They'll come around, you'll see."

"And if they don't? How can we be a team if we can't trust each other? Do you really think Natasha and Clint are going to forgive me now that you pulled this stunt? They are going to see that I didn't want to tell them as I didn't invite them and wasn't too pleased that you started taunting me into telling them. They are going to feel like I disrespected them because I had you there while I told them!"

"I don't think they'll see it like that," I said.

"Of course, you wouldn't. You know, Loki, just because you like being alone and hated, doesn't mean I do, too."

My mouth opened wide in shock and I placed my hand on his forearm to try and ask for forgiveness only for him to pull away from my touch. I recoiled from him, not understanding why he refused my touch, and only a bit worried that he was going to hit me.

He quickly stood up from the couch turned the TV off and stormed towards his art room, slamming the door behind him.

I sat still on the couch stunned.

I made the captain angry. Angrier than I ever had before. It was a mistake to invite the two spies to dinner. Now the captain would leave me. He would no long want me.

I was to be discarded once again. And for some reason…

…it hurt.

I slowly stumbled to my feet and went to our room quietly. I looked around the room before making up my mind.

I gathered up some of the stuff that I didn't want to leave behind, changed into my armor and disappeared.

I sat in a cave that rested along a mountain side, using a shield as a door to the outside so nothing or no one could come in. A fire crackled in the middle of the floor with a squirrel floating over it, cooking it slowly. I scowled as I watched the dead rodent rotate over the flickering fire. I was banished to Midgard and could not leave. I was meant to be watched over by the captain, but he was angry and therefore he would no longer want me.

The thought of my dear captain made my heart clench and I gasped. I was unused to these feelings.

I would never be able to face him again.

He said he loved me.

He never loved you.

I flinched at the words that flowed through my head, hissing and menacing.

He lied to you. All he wanted was to make you docile, to make you bend to his will. He never loved you. Who could ever love a monster like you? All you do is destroy things.

I put my hands over my ears trying to block out the noise but to no use. They voice was in my head, not outside.

You will always be the monster, the cast out, the unloved. You are unlovable, Loki. You are too damaged to love.

I shook my head and whispered, "Shut up."

You know it's true. You know what you need to do, Loki, to make yourself whole once again.

"Nothing will make me whole again."

Come now, don't say that. You know the way. You just have to be strong enough to take it.

I looked up at the fire, the rodent having been burned and inedible now, as I tried to fight the voice inside me.

To no use.

I knew, in the end, it would win.