A/N At the end this time. I do not own Twilight, or I would not be living on campus this year.
I drove up to the police station at about half past noon the next day, relieved to see that no press were around. The biggest question was about where I'd disappeared to, and some of the more fanatical tabloids were reporting that I was secretly living with Tanya. But it was a ghost town at the station.
I let myself in, getting the all-clear that Edward wasn't busy before walking down to his office. In the time since I'd last been there nothing had changed on the outside. I knocked twice, and he opened the door. Immediately Edward pulled me into his office, shut the door, closed the blinds on the door window, and pulled me into a hug. He let out one long, tired breath.
"If I never have to talk to Didyme again it'll be too soon. She's like a viper. She's trying to get me to beef up my testimony to make it more incriminating, but nothing she's done is outright or illegal so I can't call her on it." He exhaled again, before leading me to the desk. I wasn't used to Edward touching me so much, so I let myself enjoy it. I knew I should probably say something, but I didn't exactly want him to let go.
"I just needed to get that out. What do you need?" Edward asked, looking over me. Suddenly, it seemed like an incredibly bad idea to be there with him in his office. I wanted to say I needed him, but for once my thoughts stayed in my head where they belonged. Instead I took a step back, and to his credit Edward let me go.
"I was talking to Kate, and then to Alice and Angela. And I guess I just wanted to get your input too, on whether or not you think I'm holding on to Tanya and Jane too tightly, and if I need to start letting them go?"
"Yeah. If that's what Kate said, I agree with her." It was so blunt, so honest, that I felt almost a bit winded. I sat down quickly in one of the chairs.
"Oh." I exhaled heavily. He looked at me warily, frowning.
"Sorry, that was probably – I could have said that better." He moved to sit on the edge of his desk, in front of me.
"No, I appreciate your honesty" I said shaking my head. "But I disagree."
"I figured." Something about the expression on his face, like he was rolling his eyes internally, put me a bit on edge.
"I can't just disregard Tanya and Jane. They raised me. They're the reason I'm where I am today, in all of the good ways and in all of the bad ways. And whether or not it should have happened, it did happen. I was kidnapped. I did grow up as a Denali. That's a part of me."
"That's a part of your past, yes. But that doesn't mean you need to drag it with you as baggage for the rest of your life."
"But that's my point. How would you feel if someone called Carlisle and Esme your baggage? This whole situation sucks. But they're – they're not my biological parents but they are my parents. Or not, that's not the right word. But they raised me." Edward made a face when I talked about his parents, but that was the point. I needed him to actually see it my way.
"Bella, that's not the same thing."
"Why? Tomorrow, you could find out that you were adopted – or, or anything. All I'm trying to say is that you wouldn't suddenly feel differently about them. And I doubt you could just let go of all of the good memories, all of the things they did for you, everything."
"I don't think that's what Kate wants you to let go of. But Bella, you can't have Jane and Tanya back. Not the way you had them before. Even if Jane's verdict is innocent and she's released, you'll still know that she's not your aunt. You'll still be that girl. So you – you just, it's really important for you to be able to leave those memories in the past and move forward with your life. With Charlie and Renee Swan who love you."
"Okay, first, they're not replacement parents. That's definitely not how this is going to go. Charlie and Renee aren't going to fill the spot left by Tanya and Jane. They have their own spot." I stood up, jabbing him in the chest with my finger. He grabbed onto my hand, moving it out of range.
"Bella, that's not what I was trying to say." He frowned at me, still holding tight to my hand like he was afraid I was going to hit him.
"But that's what it feels like! It kind of feels like everyone expects me to move on with my brand new, old, whatever with the Swans as if they're just going to pick up the parent stick and keep running. I can't do that."
Edward opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and then sighed. He scrubbed his free hand over his face, and suddenly I was really aware of how close we were to each other. I got distracted by looking over his face; it took me a minute to make eye contact and realize he was watching me stare at him.
"Bella, I don't expect you to do that. I just want to feel confident that the life you're living right now is – Bella, I really need you to stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"You know." He said. I did know. I shook my head.
"Like you don't remember why this can't happen." I was pretty openly staring at his lips at this point, as he spoke. He was still holding onto my hand, squeezing pretty tightly.
"No, I remember." I said finally, because there was no use lying.
"You can keep going. The life I'm living? Go on."
"I just don't want you to get bogged down in the past when you still have the entire rest of your life ahead of you. It's not about forgetting about them, just, don't hold on to them and drag them forward with you either."
"I disagree." I said, looking down at where our hands sat on the table next to him.
"I don't think I'm holding on too much." I moved our hands to sit on his upper thigh.
"What started this whole thing?"
"I was calling Tanya my mom again. But I couldn't help it. I went to see Jane and she just kept reminding me how much she loves me and how much my – how much Tanya loves me. It's a lot to process." I was rubbing our hands up and down his leg, and watching myself do it.
"Wait, say that again?" Edward's voice was lower, rougher. I looked up, and he was looking at our hands too, at me really.
"I'm sorry." I said, and before he could ask why I leaned up and kissed him. I wish I could say that it was frantic, that we were throwing caution to the wind, but it wasn't. It was very deliberate, slow, and probably a bit needy on my end. We had already acknowledged that it was a bad idea. We were very clearly doing it anyways.
Edward groaned, low and deep in his throat. I pulled back to kiss his jaw, then right near his ear and down his neck. I kissed a spot by his pulse point and he grabbed me by the ass and pulled me in closer to him, so I was standing right between his legs. He gave me a good squeeze before he brought one hand back up and around, and this time he didn't hesitate to cup my breast. He was still holding me close to him, and he leaned down to whisper in my ear.
"This has to be it, Bella. Really." I combatted his words by sucking hard on his pulse point, causing him to curse under his breath and squeeze me tighter.
"You're not going to make this easy for me."
"I –" I started to respond, but I was cut off by a knock on his door. It was worse than Esme coming home, like an immediate bucket of cold water was dumped on us as we sprang apart. Edward cleared his throat a few times, and I let myself fall back into the seat.
"Who is it?" He asked, and I couldn't decide if his voice sounded normal enough. I looked at his neck guiltily, and though the bruise was just starting to discolor I knew I'd have left him with a pretty noticeable hickey. I felt dumb and guilty especially as the door opened, Edward jumping to his feet.
Didyme breezed in, and I tried not to look at her and focus on not blushing.
"Oh, Bella, lovely to see you." To her credit she sounded genuine, even though I still didn't like her calling me by my nickname.
"You know, I hope I'm not overstepping to say that you look so much like your sister it's ridiculous." I looked up at her and smiled as believably as I could.
"Thank you." I said. If she noticed the tension between me and Edward, or in the room, she didn't let it show. She walked over to us, to where Edward was now leaning on the side of his desk.
"I hope you don't mind me popping in for a quick second Edward, just trying to make sure that I've considered every angle of your statement as best as possible. Again, we just can't believe how reserved your language is – are you sure this is the way you're going to say it on the stand?"
"I'm pretty sure, yes." She sighed, laying a hand on his arm.
"Alright, well then everyone is coming up with some questions, so we'll be in touch within the next two days."
"I know, that's what you told me when we had our meeting this morning." There was a bit of an edge in Edward's voice which was making it harder for me to remember why I'd let go of him in the first place. Especially when Didyme ran her fingers across his neck where my lips had been minutes ago.
"Looks like you have some kind of a bruise. I didn't notice earlier, does it hurt?" Edward coughed, grabbing Didyme's hand and removing it from his neck.
"I was messing around and things went a little too far. I guess Masen got the best of me." When Didyme wasn't looking he quickly raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged apologetically, and then she was speaking again.
"Anyways, I hope I didn't bother you. My team just really, really wants to be sure." She beamed at him. Didyme was not unattractive, especially youthful for her mid-thirties. But Edward was completely unaffected.
"I mean, you kind of interrupted something important but I'm sure that wasn't your intention." She looked between me and Edward like she was just noticing that I was there, and then her eyes widened. It looked incredibly insincere and I wanted to tell her she wasn't fooling anyone, but I could be polite.
"I apologize. I'll get out of your hair." She smiled and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Then Edward looked at me.
"Bella…" He trailed off. I looked at him.
"Technically, aren't you already off my case? I know you have to testify, but everything is wrapped up, right?" I knew I had to look slightly pathetic I was so desperate for him to say yes. He shook his head.
"I'm on the case until Jane's verdict is reached."
"Oh, okay. No."
"Huh?" He asked. I shook my head.
"That's not going to work. I'm sorry, that's not going to work." I was joking, but he didn't as much as smile, looking pensive and a bit troubled instead. When he didn't say anything, I walked back over to him, grasping his hands. As I looked around the room, at what he'd set up, I realized why it was a hard decision for him.
"I don't really mean that. I was completely joking. I'm not trying to be insensitive. I know that if you go off the case it hurts your agency."
"Actually no." Edward rubbed a hand across his neck, and the tips of his ears darkened a bit.
"What do you mean no?" I asked.
"Well, it turns out that all of the press on this case isn't entirely a terrible thing for my agency. I've been speaking to a few other detectives who are interested in working with me now that I have kind of a name. Masen's looking to get into detective work – though I'd never start him off on a case this big. But I also have two other guys that I'd like to work with who have more experience."
"Wow…" I said.
"Sorry I didn't tell you, I wasn't trying to keep it a secret or anything, it just didn't come up. And I was kind of scared that if I admitted that I had an out, I'd do something really irresponsible."
I smiled.
"I think we're past that point. So tell me, is it really an option for you to call up one of those detectives?" He paused for a long time and I could tell he was really thinking about it. Then he looked at me.
"You're going to like Sam." I smiled and leaned in, sliding my arms around his waist to his back, and pulling myself closer to him. But he was the one who moved first, kissing my forehead.
"We're not off the hook yet. When I bring Sam in, see if he wants to do this, see if everything works out, then we can talk about this. Not yet." I frowned, but I nodded.
"Alright, then I'm really looking forward to meeting Sam."
Two days later, I was pulling up to actually meet Sam. This time, my luck wasn't as solid. There was a news van parked outside of the station, and when the cameraman caught sight of me he sprang to his feet with the camera, cuing up the anchorman who was eating a sandwich.
"Isabella. Isabella. Any new developments on the case? Nobody knows what to make of your silence and sources report that you've been visiting Jane in prison. Are you team Denali?" I knew that I would be upset with myself later, but I had to speak up.
"It's really sick that all of you are preying on me during the worst, most stressful and upsetting time in my life just to satisfy some sadistic curiosity." I said as I entered the building, letting the door slam behind me. I didn't look back, just walked straight to Edward's office. It was strange that he wasn't waiting for me outside, but I figured he was with Sam. When I got to the office, I knocked.
"Come in." That wasn't Edward's voice. I walked in hesitantly.
Edward was sitting behind his desk, but leaning on the side of it was a tall man with dark bronzed skin and shoulder length black hair. He stuck out a hand as I walked in.
"So, you're the reason I am now employed by Cullen over here?" He said. I looked between him and Edward, warily.
"He needed to know." Edward said, letting me grasp the situation without drawing out the explanation. I felt my face get slightly warm, but I reached out and shook his hand.
"I'm Bella." I said. Sam smiled.
"Sam. Nice to meet you." He laughed a bit as he said it, giving my hand one last firm shake before letting go.
"Now, what do you want to know about me that's going to make this transition easier?" He asked.
"Why do you want to work with Edward?" I asked. Sam laughed again.
"Great, to the point. I like that. We're going to get along. Your boy is a good man, and he's done a lot by himself. I'm pretty impressed, when I was his age I hadn't even decided to get into detective work yet. He already has his specialization, and a good head on his shoulders. With more detectives with a connection to Washington police departments, which I have, I think he's got a good shot. And I like working missing persons' cases, but I'm more adult focused than Cullen. He told me about how he dealt with you in the beginning."
I looked to Edward again, who wasn't meeting my eye. I couldn't tell if he felt guilty or embarrassed, but I was learning too much from Sam to pause and tell Edward that he didn't need to feel either.
"So you think you guys have a good shot?" I asked. Sam laughed again.
"Edward's already making waves for having to deal with Didyme. Everyone knows what she's like, even with married guys." It hadn't occurred to me that Didyme didn't want Edward specifically, but it made sense. Sam misunderstood the look on my face and held up his hands.
"Not gonna work on me either. I've been married to the love of my life for five years." There was his ring, shining.
"Still, she can be pretty persuasive when she wants to be. It's her specialty, pushing things without breaking the rules. Sometimes I think she enjoys it more than she likes putting people in prison." He sneered, and I realized that apparently disliking Didyme wasn't an uncommon experience. It made me like Sam more.
"So, I knew you had to be pretty special because not only was he not fazed by her but he's actually giving someone else the case."
"I like him." I said to Edward, winking. Then I turned to Sam again.
"So what exactly are you responsible for at this point?"
"I know it probably doesn't seem like it but Edward does a lot of back-end things to attempt to piece together what happened. I'm going to be taking over that job, so I'll probably meet with Jane and with the Swans and read over Edward's notes to familiarize myself. Edward will still have to appear in court because of his expertise and what he's already done, but most of the questioning will come to me. Where you're concerned, the only interaction we really have to have is if something comes up and I have some questions. Which reminds me, can you write down how you want to be contacted?"
"Oh, sure." I said, writing down my cell number. Sam gave me his professional number, and I programmed it into my phone. I knew that Sam was coming into it at a very different time when I was much more agreeable, but the difference between Sam and Edward was obvious. Hearing Sam describe his responsibilities, I felt bad for ever believing that Edward's concern about me was because of his job.
"Well, apparently I have an office to set up." Sam straightened up and smiled. Edward stood too, slapping him on the back before Sam walked out of the room. Before he stepped outside, he turned around and faced us.
"You're officially off the hook Cullen. Enjoy your girl." He winked as he stepped out. I turned to face Edward but before I had even turned completely around his lips were on mine and his arms were around me in possibly the most intense kiss I'd ever received in my life. When he pulled back he was panting.
"I'll see you at dinner tonight Bella." There was so much promise in his eyes that I almost didn't make it back to my car in one piece. It took me another few seconds before I caught my breath enough to drive home.
A/N: Disclaimer I am like the least sexy person you will ever meet and that probably reflects in any of my attempts to write anything remotely sexy so I apologize if this came across as more awkward than alluring - it's something I'm working on. Any and all feedback is welcome. I also really want to apologize for not posting last weekend. Being back has been crazy, not at all calm like I had expected. But things are settling down and I am getting back on track, I promise. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed – I didn't get to respond to all of you like I normally do but I love reading your thoughts and I hope you keep sending them!