Content Warning: alludes to rape during her memories under the Jagan
Chapter Twenty-Five
Shattered Stars
Bright red numbers, bleary from sleep, swam into focus. 11:15 am.
11:15…
That was an important number, wasn't it?
What day was it?
After another moment or two of drifting in the space between sleep and wakefulness, Ashley sat bolt upright, heart hammering like a jackhammer.
11:15 am. What day was it?
She didn't bother making herself decent before she raced out of the bedroom door, only to slide to an abrupt halt as the chatter outside her room came to an end.
"Good morning!" Yukina greeted her with a smile. The teal-haired demoness sat on the couch, legs crossed like a pretzel, and Hiei leaned against the far wall, scarlet eyes on Ashley with an expression she had no hope to read.
"What day is it?" the words tumbled out in a rush.
"What was that?" Hiei asked, quirking a brow.
"What day is it?" Ashley repeated, this time slower, and slowly realizing she was still in the t-shirt and shorts that Yukina had lent her.
Which meant that she was at Yukina's.
Because yesterday -
The moment that the memory befell Ashley, her mind numbed as her bottom jaw dropped slack, just a little, as her breath shuttered out. The memories started sweeping over her, the dark building, the demons, the feeling of being trapped-
"We'd like to take you to Genkai's." The phrasing felt like it was merely a suggestion. Yukina, however, stated it like it was a fact. It left no room for unwanted memories. "Kuwabara has gone to your boss, Dr. Ikeda, I think he said, and has worked out your absence for the rest of the week."
And that was all there was to it.
As much as she didn't want to go back to her apartment, Ashley knew she had to get supplies for Knox and clothes for herself. Hiei waited outside, keeping an eye out for any of the Legion, even though both he and Yukina had agreed that it would be foolish for them to strike so soon after their attempt three days prior. Yukina accompanied her in.
However, passing the park she'd let Knox sniff in, the park where she -
Don't think about that.
Finally reaching her doorknob, she paused. The last time she'd locked her door she had no way to know what was going to happen. It had been routine.
Opening her door was the same. Nothing was out of place. There was still a pot of water waiting to be heated on the stove, thinking she'd be right back. The television was still turned to the BBC, and it was still playing. It had been Sunday, so her bed was still unmade. Lesson plans were waiting to be graded. Kurama's seeds still waited beside her phone charger. The seeds she'd forgotten to take with her.
The seeds that could have prevented all of this.
A knot started forming in her throat when Yukina said, "Just bring what you need. That cold front is supposed to start rolling in tonight, you know, so bring something warm, and maybe rain boots if you have them?"
Yukina didn't pause in the doorway to leave this place the mess it was. As Ashley stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living space, Yukina brushed past her, immediately going to the futon and making her bed, then going to the kotatsu and stacking the papers.
"Yukina, I-" emotion overtook her, her eyes immediately swimming and her cheeks reddening, much to her chagrin. "I don't know-" She caught Yukina's attention immediately, and the teal-haired girl was next to Ashley in an instant.
"Hey, you're okay," she reassured Ashley. "Think about right now. What do you feel? What do you hear?"
What did she feel? She felt her cheeks, flushed with heat, she heard her own pathetic sniffles.
But Yukina waited. What did she feel?
The air conditioning had clicked on sometime while they were there. A light breeze brushed against her cheek. The BBC was still talking about a riot in Russia of Guardians.
Guardians - demons - the power - NO.
Ashley focused on the air conditioning, on the BBC, on the slight chill that being so close to Yukina offered her, and she calmed.
"There you go," Yukina said, her voice soft.
"Can I… Can I ask you something?" Ashley muttered, wiping the tears that had fallen. "What happened to those… two…"
Yukina knew immediately what Ashley was asking, and she also knew the truth. The truth was not what she told Ashley, however. She'd worked it out with Genkai that morning, in fact. "They were injured enough that we sent them back to Spirit World to receive healing and punishment there." For Ashley to learn that she had killed them both, even if it was in self-defense, was not something that she needed to know. At least not right now.
Ashley accepted that without complaint, nodding and sniffling. "Now, what do you need? Where do you keep your clothes?"
Ashley showed her, and Yukina pulled some outfits from her closet made for warmer weather, a sweatshirt, and a few outfits for the cold snap they were supposed to get over the weekend. Phone charger and toiletries went into her bag, and then came the supplies for Knox. They locked the door and joined Hiei outside, as he mumbled a quiet, "Did you get lost in there?"
Ashley was silent for the entire journey. And a journey it was. The train ride alone was close to two hours, and then there was a half hour bus ride, and then a hike up a mountain. The only people that would be going all the way out here were people who wanted to be all the way out here. It was secluded and quiet; Genkai's land left to the throes of nature. Almost as soon as she stepped onto the land itself, noted as such by Yukina, she felt more at peace. Whether that was some magic contained in the land itself, or the majesty that nature contained on its own.
Isla would have loved -
Isla.
Isla would never come out here. Ashley could never confess to Isla everything she'd been through and everything she felt, and she'd never be able to confess the guilt she carried. Isla would never be able to wrap her arms around Ashley and tell her it would all be okay. Isla would never be able to come visit her again. They would never be able to fight again-
What do you feel?
What do you hear?
Ashley forced herself to take a breath. Feel the air rushing into her lungs, feel how it filled her, and then slowly let it out again.
As she did, she tried to focus on the sounds beyond her. A woodpecker pecking, crickets chirping.
It was nearly five by the time they reached the stairs to go up to the large building beyond. An old woman stood at the top.
They climbed the stairs, until they stood next to her. "About time you got here." She said, and Ashley had the distinct feeling that she wasn't talking about the trip. The woman was shorter than Ashley, the top of her head reaching Ashley's bust, and she had curly pink hair, peppered with gray, and her wrinkles showed her age. This woman had been around for awhile, but she had an ancient feeling about her, as if she'd been around much longer than she looked. Her gaze, gray with the beginnings of cataracts, bore through her, like she was able to read everything that Ashley was thinking and feeling, and she knew everything about her.
"Ashley," Yukina began. "This is Genkai." Ashley bowed low.
"Like I said," Genkai remarked, appraising her. "About time." Her gaze flicked to Hiei and narrowed.
She turned on her heel and marched back to the temple behind her. The sprawling temple surrounded by trees and nature. It was like an old Japanese house, the ones that Ashley only ever saw on the internet anymore.
"We'll begin training at dawn," Genkai called over her shoulder. "You two can show her around, right?" It was a question, but Genkai didn't wait for the answer, leaving them alone at the edge of the temple.
Hiei, however, when Ashley glanced at him, looked less than enthused at the idea. He met her gaze, briefly, and disappeared in the way that he did, flitting away to God knew where, and leaving Ashley and Yukina alone.
Hurt threaded itself through Ashley's heart. She'd been right: when he'd been late, and when it took him days to come for her.
He'd left her.
"Please don't go," she'd wanted to beg him. He didn't bother to find anyone else to go to Demon World so soon after Heathrow, but it was his job, she reminded herself. "It's only two weeks," she'd forced out instead, her voice obviously quivering to her ears. But he didn't seem to care.
The memory immediately brought a knot to her throat, clogging for the tears that were on their way.
Ashley forced the thought away. "Will you show me around, Yukina?" she asked instead, trying to sound chipper even though all she wanted to do was cry.
Yukina seemed to realize, then, that Hiei had disappeared. She pasted on a smile that hid the frustration bubbling beneath. "Of course. Who needs him, right?"
Yukina took Ashley to her room first, through the winding hallways and many doors; she was sure she'd get lost on her own if she didn't walk it a few times at least. Yukina said she'd be sharing Hiei's normal room, which wasn't exactly the news she'd hoped to hear, but also didn't want to inconvenience Yukina or Genkai, for that matter, to ask for a separate room.
She'd just have to bare it.
And for that matter, the room itself was bare. There was a few of Hiei's clothes in the closet, but beyond that, there was a bed along one wall and a chair in a corner and that was it. A window opened to the gardens, but it was simple. It would be fine.
Leaving her duffel bag at the foot of the bed, Ashley followed Yukina back through the hallways, making notes to herself of how to find her room again. Yukina showed her the basics: the bathrooms, the kitchen, the living space that might otherwise be used for a family, the indoor training area, and pointed out Genkai's study, a small library with bookshelves that stretched from floor to ceiling and crammed with tomes, as well as the room she'd be in, and would be sharing with Kuwabara when he finally showed up on Saturday. Once Ashley had had the tour, the temple was much more manageable in size. It wasn't quite so overwhelming. Yukina even let Ashley lead her, as she tried to memorize where everything was in relation to each other. It was good, having a task to get her mind off of her trauma, and for about an hour or so she was able to forget. She was a normal girl visiting someone who could help her with this… power, or whatever it was within her.
She shied away from the thought, and focused on what Yukina was saying, "…she lives in Spirit World and works as a grim reaper, but often helps out Genkai, and especially Yusuke, or at least back during his spirit detective days."
The woman in question was grinning brightly. Yukina had led them out onto the porch, and even though the heat of summer was wearing off, it was still sticky and hot. Ashley glanced between Yukina and the woman, who had bright blue hair, pulled out of her face and into a ponytail, and wore casual clothing - which was much different from how she had imagined a grim reaper might dress.
"It's so very nice to meet you!" the woman shook Ashley's hand in a Western fashion, and even spoke in a British accent, which threw Ashley for a loop and she was gaping and stuttering immediately.
"Wait, you're British?" she asked, incredulous that she might meet a British grim reaper.
"Well, I like the accent, so I picked it up," she replied, clasping her hands behind her back.
Ashley had to pause. "Wait, what did you say your name was? I'm sorry," but Botan was already shaking her head and waving her hands.
"It's no matter, really. I know there's a lot to take in," with a welcoming smile, she repeated her name. "I'm Botan."
"And you're a grim reaper?"
"Well, I personally prefer the term ferry girl, but it's all the same thing, really," Botan turned, then, motioning to a young man behind her that had been hanging back. He was just a smidge taller than herself, and had short blond hair that was gelled into a spiky sort of hairstyle; the kind that was popular back in the early millennium years. He wore a tank and basketball shorts, and was absolutely ripped. "And this is Bjorn! He was just like you about eight months ago."
"I'll need to give you a tour sometime," He said with a smile. Honestly, he reminded Ashley of a golden Labrador puppy. He just seemed so easy going and down to earth, and that smile wasn't too bad on him, either. And that accent. Was it Norwegian?
"Tour?"
His grin turned wicked, which immediately dropped Ashley's stomach in worry. It must have showed on her face because he was immediately soothing her fears, waving his hands in front of him as if to put out a flame and said, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! Nothing like that! Whatever you're thinking it's wrong." When Ashley still wasn't convinced, holding only vague interest he spat the word, "Portals!" like it was something he'd been holding back. "I create portals between locations in Human World."
"And he can create portals between Human World and Demon World, too!" Botan added.
A light flush came to his cheeks. "Only when it doesn't want to give me trouble I can."
Botan flapped her hand, waving him off. "Oh, he's just being modest. He can do it and I've seen him do it."
Bjorn, however, didn't meet Ashley's gaze, instead glancing to the floor. "I'm uh… I need to go…" and with that he left, pushing past them and back into the temple and the cool air that waited within.
"Is he okay?" Ashley asked after he left, glancing between Yukina and Botan.
The two girls shared a Look, Botan worrying at her lower lip.
"He blames himself," Yukina finally said. "Although he shouldn't. He was how Hiei was supposed to return home when you were… taken. He couldn't get the barrier to open."
"Wait. He's how Hiei got to Demon World?" Ashley asked, looking back at the way Bjorn had left.
"Yeah, I mean, you can't just walk through the barrier," Yukina replied, joining Ashley in watching the same empty hallway.
Botan crossed her arms and turned back out to the sprawling expanse of grass that stretched between the temple and the tree line. "Not that it matters anyway. The barrier is shutting in two days. No one will be able to pass through."
"Things have gotten that bad?" Ashley asked, her attention back on Botan. She stepped up to stand with the grim reaper at the edge of the porch, Yukina moving a moment later.
"Yeah," the blue-haired girl sighed. "The Legion has found a way to move between Human World and Demon World easily, and between that and the tensions in Human World and the civil wars in Demon World creating more and more refugees, Lord Koenma is trying to figure out a way to neutralize both sides. This is the only thing we can think of right now - keep everything separate. And it doesn't matter that the spirits themselves have started their own rebellion-"
"Wait, what?" Yukina was immediately on Botan, having caught something that Ashley had missed. "What do you mean the spirits have started a rebellion?"
"Spirits?" Ashley tried to ask but Botan was already backtracking, trying to cover the slip she just made.
"Oh, you know. Just workers tired of long hours, is all. It'll be resolved quickly, I'm sure. You know, I think I need to go check to see if Genkai needs me… I'll just be going now!" Yukina tried to make a grab for Botan's hand, but the grim reaper slipped out of her grip and disappeared around a corner.
The air around Yukina had gotten considerably colder. If it wasn't because of the confusion and anger rolling off of her, it would have been a nice change from the sweltering heat that was that summer afternoon. Ashley finally caught Yukina's eye, and merely quirked a brow in question.
Yukina sighed. "Spirits are like humans and demons. You see, there are three worlds, and the main populace of each consists of either spirits, humans, or demons, which is why they're named as they are."
"So technically Botan is a spirit since she's from Spirit World?" Yukina nodded. "But I could feel her when she shook my hand."
"Humans have," Yukina began, trying to find a way to explain this. "Created their own definition for what spirits are. But Spirits from Spirit World are the same as people: living, breathing beings who have power of their own."
Something occurred to Ashley, then. "Why is it that spirits have power and demons have power but humans don't? And why do some humans have power and some don't?"
"You know," Yukina began, her face slightly scrunched. As they'd been talking, the air around them had warmed, Yukina's mind off of the mysterious disappearance of Botan. Yukina nodded toward where Botan had disappeared when she continued, "She would be a better answer to that question. She'd know the history of it, especially having worked with humans and ferrying their spirits between one world and the next. Botan would likely know. Or Genkai. They're both excellent resources."
Ashley looked across the expanse of grass and to the forest, where dozens of tents had been pitched. "Who are they?" She asked, the words soft.
"Refugees, mostly," Yukina replied, a sadness to her voice that Ashley couldn't begin to understand. "Demons who came to Human world to either escape the wars in Demon World, or find a better life for themselves here and found that humans aren't as open-armed as we were told. So they came here, to Genkai instead, to try to survive." At the question in Ashley's eyes, Yukina continued: "They can't go home. They have nowhere to go."
The soft rain pattering against the roof outside the window woke Ashley slowly the following morning. The night had consisted less of sleeping and more of battling the images and memories that threatened to overtake her at any moment, so having gotten even two hours of sleep was a reprieve, even if they were still full of confusing dreams. Even when she fully woke, she continued to lay in bed, listening to the rain, not bothering to check the time or move. The bed next to her remained untouched. Hiei had never come back.
When had been the last time she'd done this?
She'd always loved doing this as a child: to take a nap as a thunderstorm rolled in and wake to the final symphony as it left the area again. Really, she hadn't done it since college. At Cambridge. After she and Emmett broke up and she'd crashed at Isla's flat.
Isla.
Her chest ached as the familiar clog in her throat threatened to force a sob out, but it never came. It hurt, and it felt like there was a hole that had been punched through her, but she never cried.
At that, she forced herself up, pulling on a robe to make her way down to the bathrooms. Getting ready quickly came almost naturally after over five years at university and many late starts in her own career. Once she deemed herself decent, Ashley made her way down to the kitchen, following the scents of breakfast cooking. Rounding the corner, indeed it was breakfast, and Yukina cooking.
If it had been Isla, she would've said something snarky, like, "Don't you ever put your spatula down?" And they'd laugh as Isla flung whatever it was on the end of her spatula at Ashley.
As it was, she didn't feel like she had the same relationship with Yukina.
"Good morning," she greeted the demoness instead, smiling as Yukina turned toward her voice.
"Oh, good morning, Ashley!" Botan beat her to it, sitting at the table and sipping on some tea.
Yukina greeted her similarly and said, "I'm not going to ask if you're hungry or not because either way you need to eat before going out with Genkai."
Ashley hovered behind Yukina before she shooed Ashley to the table, and brought her a bowl a second later.
"Genkai's tough as nails, you're going to need it!" Botan exclaimed. For some reason she seemed excited over the prospect of Ashley training. Ashley, however, had never done any training in her life and had no idea what to expect. Of course, training at a piano was entirely different.
"Can you give me some spark notes on what to expect?" Ashley asked between bites. She'd even read the spark notes for Shakespeare, just to understand it on a deeper level. Surely there was something they could offer her.
"Just give your best!" Botan replied, taking another sip of her tea. Even from across the table, Ashley could see the steam rising off the mug.
Breakfast finished quickly and Ashley padded through the sprawling temple to the room that Genkai waited in. Peeking through the crack between the sliding door and the wall, Ashley could see in. Genkai sat in the middle of the room, her legs tucked under her, hands resting in her lap. Her face wasn't turned toward Ashley, but rather outside to the porch that overlooked the garden below.
With a start, the door was pushed back, making Ashley yelp in shock, only for Hiei to appear in the space between the door and the wall.
Quickly, the yelp disappeared, and she tried to fold herself as small as possible. Hiei wore a glare that pierced straight through her.
Two weeks ago she might have said something. Now, however, she couldn't find the energy within herself to stand up for herself against him.
"Finally," Genkai sighed, unfolding herself from her position on the floor. "Get in here, girl. We should have begun a half hour ago." Quickly, Ashley stepped over the threshold and the door shut behind her again. Glancing over her shoulder, Hiei still stood in the room, settling into a position against the wall - leaning against it with his arms crossed over his chest. How very Hiei. Trying to ignore him, Ashley moved to where Genkai pointed, taking her seat on the floor.
"Have you ever meditated before?" Genkai asked, wrapping her fingers around a steaming cup of tea that had been sitting in the corner.
Ashley shook her head as she finally gave up in sitting the same way that Genkai had been. She knew her legs would start cramping up if she remained in that position for too long. Crossing her legs it was, then. "You mean like in yoga?"
The older woman slowly lowered her cup from her lips, the most deadpanned stare claiming her facial expression.
"No. Meditation to become one with your spiritual energy and to focus it!" Genkai sighed, stepping away from where Ashley sat, drawing her lips into a line. Over her shoulder, she cast Hiei a glare, which Ashley caught. It clearly said that she didn't want him there, and silent like a cat, Hiei left through the back door, leaving Ashley and Genkai alone in the room with a soft click of the sliding door behind him.
"Good. Now you can focus." Really, Ashley was positive she wouldn't be able to focus even if he wasn't there. Everything was just too much. "Now, I want you to breathe, deeply. In through the nose, out through the mouth," Ashley did as she was told, eventually her eyes fluttering shut. Genkai spoke slowly, directing Ashley's focus. "Feel the breath enter you. Feel it enter your lungs and flow outward. Through your arms, hands, and to your fingers. Feel it make its way through your legs. Notice how your body is feeling."
Ashley followed the instruction; her back started aching almost immediately, tired from sitting so straight in the same position. She felt that very clearly.
But she continued, trying to focus all of her thoughts on her breathing.
It could have been minutes or hours before Genkai began speaking again, "Feel your breath come into you. Feel it in the very pit of your stomach. In the very core of your being. Take the energy there and pull it to the surface."
It was so close to what Yukina had said before that, Ashley knew immediately what to do. It was what she'd known to do in the warehouse, too. She pulled her energy up, but it didn't need a large prod, just a careful nudge, even though she wanted to let it rest within her or get rid of it altogether.
It had only caused destruction up until that point after all.
The power flowed through her body, welcoming the change that Genkai asked of her. It was warm, and inviting, and mixed with her breath, reinforcing itself until it was all Ashley could feel. The light touches of power through her body. Slowly, the ache in her back eased until it was gone altogether.
Genkai didn't say anything else, and slowly, Ashley's mind drifted into meditation.
Until something else rose behind her power, hiding like it was cautious. But she could feel it there. It was a memory there; a memory of an ability that felt both familiar and foreign.
And another memory, one of the hatred and jealousy of a little girl, long passed, who hated to be showed up.
As quickly as the ability rose, so it disappeared, crushed as Ashley made to ignore it.
Really, it was just a belief in the supernatural possibility that made that even rise. She'd buried any notion of it long ago, at the same time that Sophia had accepted the role of caretaker for the House.
It was all silly anyway. Just silly made up stories made to put doubt in her mind and scare her at night. A shutter shut on its own? It was the ac coming on. Flickering lights? There was a faulty connection somewhere along the way. A shape of a woman in a window? It was the curtains. Simple as that. If there was any clairvoyance to be had, Sophia had gotten the lot of it.
That had never been who she was. There were reasons why Annabelle had pushed her down the stairs. And none of them included a psychic ability her family swore she had. Such things just didn't exist on a logical scale.
There were reasons for these things, and that ability didn't exist within her. Couldn't exist within her. She might be the youngest of the Evans' family's kids, but that didn't mean a damn thing.
"You shouldn't be cognizant right now," Genkai growled low. She stood right behind Ashley.
A phrase rose, "Nobody could with you talking," but she bit it back. Genkai seemed to hold a lot of respect with everyone here and she didn't want to do anything that might cast a negative light on herself. Instead, Ashley wiggled a little, trying to loosen her shoulders. Peeking out of the corner of her eye, Genkai was sipping her tea, but stood close enough that it felt like pressure for Ashley to explain.
There was nothing to explain.
"Just a memory," Ashley replied instead, settling back into position.
The older woman harrumphed, though, clearly not convinced of Ashley's truthfulness, but didn't say a word.
Settling back into her meditation, focusing on her breathing, and the feel of her body sitting there, Ashley soon began to drift again, this time the memories stayed away.
The entire morning was spent in meditation. But at least by the end of it, Ashley could feel her power directly below her skin, moving within her, as much as she wanted to get it away. But she didn't say anything, and Genkai didn't pick up on it, or if she did she didn't say anything.
Lunch was served, and then they made their way to Genkai's study. It wasn't a dusty room, even though the tomes were dusty. Had Genkai really read all of these? There must have been hundreds in the small room.
Beneath a window sat a wooden desk, and before that were plush red armchairs, Western style. Ashley took a seat in one, Hiei in another, and Genkai behind her desk. They waited, for what, Ashley didn't know and didn't ask. Hiei still didn't look at her.
Over lunch, Genkai had brought up the fact that they needed to enter her mind to see what she had experienced, so that she wouldn't need to re-tell it, and explained the power of Hiei's Jagan eye. For whatever reason, Hiei had never told her this himself, but from the way Genkai said, "we need to enter your mind," left little room for discussion or bargaining on the topic.
"Will it hurt?" Ashley asked Hiei quietly, not daring to break the silence, but needing to know. She had curled her legs into the armchair, and leaned on the armrest, trying to smooth out the old fabric, and not daring to look at Hiei.
The answer didn't come right away. "No."
"Will I see it all again?"
The clock in the corner ticked for ten seconds. "Yes."
Ashley knew he was being short with her, but couldn't bring herself to retort in any way except, "But will it help?"
Four ticks. "Yes."
She rolled his words over in her mind. She didn't want to see everything again, but if it would help… she'd been of no help to them so far, doing as much as getting in the way more than anything, and being a nuisance when she wasn't. She was the anchor that tied Hiei down when he should otherwise leave and fight battles.
But she'd see -
No. Ashley steeled herself, although to her ears it still sounded like her voice quivered. "Alright then."
Hiei glanced up, barely, but met her gaze. "I'll do it," she said, even if the words still sounded small and insignificant. But at that moment, that was all she could manage.
Hiei didn't respond, but rather went back to what he'd been doing, which was untying the knot in his headband.
The butterflies arose in her stomach even as her heart broke. "What have I done to make you so mad at me? You won't even look at me anymore."
It was at that moment that Kurama slipped into the study and shut the door behind him. "Sorry to keep you waiting," he said, taking a spot at Genkai's right. "The train was running behind."
"Ashley," Hiei spoke, her name setting off butterflies in her stomach. "You need to relax and let me in."
She nodded, but wasn't exactly sure what she should be doing.
It didn't take long to find out. The force of the Jagan hit her like a wrecking ball.
She hadn't been sure what to expect, or when she should expect it, but when it came, it's power was thunderous and overwhelming, and she had no choice in the matter but to yield to it.
It was foreign, and strange, this energy that surrounded her, but what hope did she have in standing up to such a might? It tried to wrench control from her, and even though she knew she should relax and let it have its way, she held on, pushing the energy she'd found within her against it.
It was unnatural, and any promises she'd made to Hiei before fell flat. There was no way she was going to let this thing see what she'd experienced.
"Ashley."
Her name was soft, and a moment later, she felt his hand sneak into hers, and open her clenched fist, wrapping his heat around her hand.
"Hiei."
"Let me in."
She felt the tears fall as they did, but was caught off-guard. When did that happen? Even as she held on to that last modicum of control. Everything would be out in the open. Everything. She was a danger to everyone and they would see it and Hiei would truly disregard her. How stupid was she to promise anything else except complete privacy?
"Ashley," he said her name harder, the Jagan pushing itself into her mind.
Her hold on her mind was slipping, and before she lost herself to the power completely, she whispered, "Forgive me."
Hiei was late. He was never late. Surely he hasn't forgotten about me.
I didn't even realize I had filled a pot of water for spaghetti - just in case he would be home - until Knox barked twice, grabbing my attention. I glanced over at him, and a third time he barked, and ran in a circle.
Ah. That.
It had already been a long day; honestly it felt like my brain was in a different dimension all day. Checking the stove to make sure I hadn't accidentally turned it on in my stupor, I grabbed Knox's leash to take him out. Of course I would forget to walk him. It wasn't like Hiei to be late. At least not anymore. Maybe in the beginning he did that frequently, before he cared. Or at least, I thought he cared.
The walk went quickly. Take Knox out. Let him sniff around and relieve himself. Even as he did his business, I wrapped my hand around my phone, hoping for a vibration from him, or some message to appear. More than once I checked my phone, again and again. Nothing had come through.
Finally, I hauled a sigh, slipping Knox's leash onto my forearm as I opened a new message. Thumb hovering over the letter "H," I finally moved to type a different name.
To: Kurama
Message: Have you heard from him?
I hit send right as Knox started pulling. "Hey!" I called to him, and turned to go back into the building. If he didn't want to walk proper, then he would catch up.
"Ashley Lynn Wright."
My name, my full name, had never been spoken by a voice so deep. A shiver ran down my spine, immediately setting me on edge. Even as I turned, I knew - I knew I should ignore it and run. No one here should know me by that name.
But I didn't, and my mother would have scolded me. But I turned and before I could even form the words, my vision was filled by the massive demon directly behind me.
By the two massive demons. One was shirtless. Tusks slipped from his bottom jaw, and leather pants that looked worn adorned his body. A sword hung at his side, with a hand resting on it. The other was smaller. Leaner. Wings like a bat, but sharp, narrow eyes.
Knox started barking.
And then there was pain.
There was so much pain. And it throbbed with a heartbeat I tried to find. But why was my heartbeat in my head? It was over my right ear, and that didn't make any sense.
Darkness enveloped me. Wherever I was. It stunk like fish - salt and the tang of blood offending my nose. There was little else I could smell besides that.
As much as I tried to remain awake and figure out where I was, the darkness swallowed me again.
It was maybe the fourth or fifth time I woke that I heard them talking. My captors.
A shiver lodged itself in my chest, forcing the uncontrollable tremors that wracked through my body. Captors.
What was the last thing I remembered?
I tried to think back. Through the pain. Through the darkness. The pain was the hardest part. Every time I gained an inch, it took a mile, bringing me right back to wherever here was.
Knox.
Knox had been there. What were we doing though?
We were waiting for a text to come back.
The memory was clear as a bell. I was waiting for Kurama to text me back. I had just texted him.
However long I'd been out, it was obvious that no one was coming from me. I hadn't been able to shout for help, and as far as I knew, I might be in the middle of their camp now. No one knew I was here. Wherever here was. The only people that knew were the ones in the same room.
Which, they had brought me here, and knocked me sideways doing so. What was to stop them from killing me if I made a sound?
They would kill me and there would be no remorse. They were demons after all. My body would end up on the BBC news, another name listed beside hundreds that had died at the hands of demons.
Another name. Next to Isla's.
I could see her again.
"No, we have to wait…" The deep voice drifted to me, wherever I was. It was a direct copy of the demon who had said my name before. Whenever that had been.
"They need to hurry up." Another voice said. The other demon, possibly? "I'm losing my patience."
"Quiet, Karin; be still. All will reveal itself."
I tried to move, but the bindings around my hands cut into my wrists, a stinging pain slipping up my arms, hurting so bad I'd rather choose numbness. I wanted to cry - the sound was right there - but I stifled it against my shoulder instead.
No one was coming.
But the pain reminded me I was alive.
I had to escape.
I don't know how long I listened to Deep Voice and Karin, but I remained quiet and still, trying to figure out where we were. Eventually, the pain faded to a dull throb, and I was able to determine that something was wrapped around my head, doubtful that it was to stem the bleeding, although I guess that was a possibility. More than likely it was to keep me in the dark, but my eyes still worked. I could see a dull light at the bottom of the blindfold, where it crossed my nose and created a bridge.
Until the dull light faded back to darkness.
They brought me food and water, keeping me blindfolded, and when I couldn't hold myself any more, one of them finally untied my blindfold.
"If you say anything I will slit your throat, girl." One of them said. Karin. Their voice wasn't deep enough to be Deep Voice.
I nodded, vigorously, as Karin led me to a toilet in the back. As I went, I tried to notice anything about this place that I could heart galloping like a racehorse, terrified I would be caught.
Windows were high up along the walls, which only showed darkness beyond. Night. It was night. And the walls were metal. Sparring a quick glance, which Karin caught and hit me with something, I yelped, but was able to file the information away. It had been worth it. We were in a warehouse.
Chains and boxes were scattered about, but it was too hard to say exactly what it was that had once been held in the warehouse. Going to the bathrooms we had to pass by an office space. Inside, desks, years abandoned by the layers of dust over the keyboards and monitors, were decorated with maps of their families and memorabilia that had been left behind. On one wall, hanging quietly, was a map of the harbor.
The harbor.
I was still in Tokyo.
It was daylight again before Karin came to collect me for a bathroom break. With the daylight, I tried to notice details that I hadn't before: an address on the door we went through, if there were any markings on the map, that sort of thing.
Once I got back to the place they were holding me - a little area of the warehouse siphoned off by chain link fencing, I casually looked around, without them noticing. A door was on the other side of the warehouse, but tall enough that I could see it's hardware.
Deep Voice caught me looking. I was knocked out again.
By my third trip to the bathroom I had finally spotted a map of the area, marking the building we were in with a large star.
Sometime in the wee hours of that night I finally came up with a plan, as I laid awake and listening for any noise that might mean that Deep Voice or Karin was coming for me, to do things to me that daylight would never know of.
I practiced pulling my power into my hands, waiting for me just below my skin. I tried pulling it into my hands, but it never came. Still, if I could force my power into them, just enough to stall them, maybe I could have a chance of survival.
And if they came that night, I would be ready.
They never came, but I still readied my plan.
The following morning, as Karin was approaching me for my bathroom break, I exaggerated the pain that the binding was causing my wrists.
"Please, will you loosen my bindings?" I asked, but I was struck so hard I landed on the floor, pining my hands beneath my body. That was going to bruise.
"Karin, no need to be so rough," Deep Voice replied, but I was already getting my feet underneath me.
There was not going to be a night three of this.
Karin tried reaching for me, but I struck out my bound hands, calling my power, but as soon as I touched him, my power flowing into his body, he jolted, like I'd touched him with a cattle rod, and fell to the floor.
"What-?" Deep Voice looked at his friend, twitching uncontrollably, and then at me. Pure rage crossed his features. "Why you-!"
I didn't try to figure out what had happened with Karin. It had worked once, and it would work again. I dodged Deep Voice's attack, and stepped around him, light on my feet. Just as I thought I'd left him behind, I was jerked back, and pulled into his chest. As my hand connected with his stomach, just the same as it was with Karin, my power jolted into his body, and I felt him. I felt his entire being in that one touch, as my power flowed from me, through Deep Voice, and before it came back into me, it struggled, like it was trying to reach another source.
And beyond that, deep in my core, something else rose up, rose and tried to break free.
I recognized it immediately, and shut it back out as I ripped my hand away from Deep Voice as he dropped like a rag doll.
I sprinted, not bothering to wonder how my binding around my hands had broken. I sprinted through that door, and down the streets, until I found a hiding place where I could wait.
And I waited. Until the memories caught up to me.
They had just dropped. Like they were dead. Surely I hadn't just killed two people?
But the same time that I thought that, the thought was replaced. I'm glad I killed them if I did, because then they wouldn't be coming back for me. But that only terrified me more.
Was I a terrible person? Had I just killed them? I didn't want them to be dead, did I? But what if I did? What did it mean if I did?
The feeling of feeling Deep Voice's body swam up, through the memories, and immediately my stomach turned, leaving me feeling weak and shaking afterward.
I was a monster. An absolute monster. Even if I didn't kill those two it was close, and I'd wanted it.
My power was terrible. It was a bane. I'm a terrible person. I did that. Me. And if I'd let it, it would have destroyed the entire warehouse.
How I knew that, I didn't exactly know, but it was that tug, that battle I'd fought with my own power not to slip from my grasp.
It had craved destruction, craved it like nothing I'd ever felt before.
If it had wanted to jump free from my control once, what was to say it wouldn't do it again? What if I hurt Yukina, or Kuwabara, or Hiei, if he ever bothered to return? I couldn't do that.
I wouldn't do that.
I would run away, where I couldn't hurt anyone, and I would live alone. Knox couldn't come. Maybe I'd live in the wilderness. Whatever it was, I would never hurt anyone again.
The Jagan's power, once it was done ravaging my memories, left as quickly as it came. Like a hurricane weakening and leaving the area, it left nothing but destruction in its wake.
Ashley was acutely aware of the tears that had soiled her face as she came to, but didn't move, terrified of drawing attention to herself. Hiei wouldn't look at her, even as she whispered, "Please." She wasn't sure why, but that seemed like the right thing to ask.
"Ashley, why don't we get you cleaned up?" Kurama spoke gently, like he was afraid Ashley might break. Hiei rose, swiftly, and went to stand with Genkai.
Ashley allowed Kurama to help her rise, and direct her to the bathroom, and then he left her there, thankfully, saying he needed to re-join Hiei and Genkai.
It was just as well, really. Now they could see her for the monster she was. Self-defense or not. She'd nearly killed those two, and it had nearly gotten out of hand.
She couldn't rip her eyes from her snotty reflection, though once she did and cleaned herself up, numbness had spread through her, smothering her like a blanket.
She didn't go back to the study after that, instead finding a section of the porch to lean against, avoiding Yukina and Botan, both.
Ashley slowly lost track of time, watching as the afternoon shadows grew longer, aimlessly.
"Hey." The greeting caught Ashley by surprise, pulling her from her reverie after Hiei's interrogation of sorts. "You okay?"
It was Bjorn, Ashley realized, with his Norwegian accent and spiky blond hair. His thumbs were looped through the belt loops of his jeans, and the wifebeater he wore showed off his biceps. Damn, he had biceps.
"I will be," Ashley replied, half numb from the rush of emotions and memories.
He smiled, a small thing, a hesitant thing. "Maybe now would be a good time for that tour?"
Tour? Oh. "You mean your portals, right?"
He nodded, and started reaching for her hand. "Let me distract you. You look like you could use a good distraction."
Ashley laughed at his willfulness, the sound bright. "Alright, alright! You really don't have to work so hard," she said, and took his calloused hand.
"Come on," he said, leading her off the porch and out onto the grassy space between the temple and the forest. At the tents that lined the tree line, some of the demons that milled about watched Bjorn and Ashley. Immediately, apprehension filled Ashley's gut.
The trepidation must have showed on her face, because Bjorn remarked, "Don't worry about them. They're just curious."
He released her hand, and she immediately missed it. His hand was security - large and calloused, much like another man's hand that she missed very much. Bjorn looked like he gave good hugs. He was only a few inches taller than herself, but he was thick with muscle, looking very much like he could punch your lights out or envelope you in security. Right at that moment, Ashley would have given anything for a hug that meant security.
She didn't voice any of this.
"Okay. What's your favorite place in the world?"
That was an odd question. "My favorite place?"
Bjorn nodded, an excitement lighting his eyes. There was no thought needed. It popped into Ashley's head before her current home in Chelsea, back in London. Before the house in Pluckley. Before her home here in Japan or Edinburgh where she visited Oliver when he went to school there. "We used to live on the corner of Coleridge and Palmerston in Walthamstow. It's an area of London."
"No problem," he said, and moved so that he stood next to her. "Do you mind if I touch you?" he asked, hand hovering over her shoulder. She shook her head, and he grasped her shoulder. Immediately, a strange energy flowed into her, but it was just Bjorn, she knew without a doubt. "Picture it in your mind, okay?" She did as she was told, and with his other hand grasping something invisible in front of them, the trees that she saw on the far side of the grassy slope disappeared, marred by the line of energy that formed in the air before them. A moment later the line had formed into a wide circle, sparking with spiritual energy, and showing the street of Palmerston in front of them instead.
With the portal opened, Ashley's mouth dropped. "No way!" she exclaimed, stepping from under Bjorn's grip and walking around the portal. On the outside edges of his energy was the temple and the forest. Behind the portal lay the forest she saw just a moment ago. Through the portal, outlined by his energy, was home. "This is mental!"
"Go on through," Bjorn encouraged, offering the portal to home just within reach.
Movement caught Ashley's attention on the porch. Hiei had found them, and he leaned against one of the beams, arms crossed. He didn't wear an expression, but rather nodded at the portal that Bjorn had created. "You should go."
In that moment, Ashley wanted Hiei to be the type to come with her. She wanted to be able to reach between the space that divided them and ask him to come with them and he would go. She wanted to show him her home. The place that she'd loved for years.
But he wouldn't go, even if she asked, and anyway, why did she want him to? He'd made his choice obvious, hadn't he?
She didn't respond to him, but rather squared her shoulders and walked through.
Immediately, she was standing on the busy street corner of Palmerston and Coleridge, the worn-down businesses surrounding her not bothering to hide their age or the tiredness of their owners. Rain splattered her clothing, the light drizzle making the neighborhood seem even gloomier than it usually did. Across the street from the businesses were a small cluster of homes, almost out-of-place from the bustle of people trying to reach their appointments. Only three, but the rent was cheaper here than it was just down Coleridge or even Melbourne a block over, even if you didn't want to be out walking alone at night.
Ashley knew this neighborhood like the palm of her hand. Elli's Hair and Beauty would be to the right of where she stood and across the street of Coleridge, the Shamas Food Store hugging it close, then the A-Z Car Clinic if you were wealthy enough to own a car. Her father used to dream of the day they would own a car and he could take it there. On her other side, was Bite, and Flamer's. The businesses in between always went out of business every few years; who knew what was there now. And the house that stood over her, right on the corner of the two streets, had been her family's. Brown brick with white detailing on the lower and upper windows. They had lived in that house until Bradley Eckhart had convinced them to move into something that showed that they were 'powerful people', when she was thirteen. Wright United had been a growing business for almost five years at that point, so her father and mother moved her and Sophia to the upscale, quiet neighborhood of Chelsea. Oliver had already left for university.
Subconsciously, Ashley's hands had moved to cover her mouth. Turning back the way she came, Bjorn stood there, thumbs hanging from his belt loops. He wore a grin that showed his happiness for her happiness.
"This is incredible!" She exclaimed. She only had yen on her, otherwise she would have walked three blocks over to Yeti's ice cream shop and bought them both a cone. "How does no one notice us?"
"People only see what they want to see, you see," Bjorn approached her. "My power is such that we … what is it? … slowly fade into existence. If someone didn't notice us before, they just blame it on not paying attention."
They stood there in silence for a moment, taking in the neighborhood, and Ashley attempted a smile at some passerby who did a double take in their direction.
"Where else do you want to go?" Bjorn asked, grabbing her attention. Really, she didn't want to leave there. This was her home for the first thirteen years of her life, and she wanted to walk the neighborhood like she'd done ten years ago, and explore it in ways she couldn't when she was still a child.
But it was raining, and she also wanted to see more of Bjorn's ability. "How about your home?" His brows shot up in surprise until he chuckled, low.
"Thank goodness it's summer," he muttered, before opening another portal. Mountains rose up beyond what they could see through the portal, and the sun was out, scattered clouds dotting what they could see of the sky. They walked out of the portal and onto a deserted street. "This is the main road," Bjorn said, but pointed out across a grassy field. "See that house there? The red one?" She followed where he pointed. Beyond were houses, some white, some gray or brown, a couple were red. But the one that was closest to them, a two-story house with white detailing on the porch and roof and the basement below, was what he was pointing at. She nodded when she found it. "That's my grandmother's house, where I grew up. She still lives there, too, otherwise I'd get closer." Ashley quirked a brow, but she didn't need to say anything. "I'm supposed to be in Japan right now, aren't I?"
"Where are we?" Ashley asked instead. On all sides rose the mountains, covered with trees. Only maybe a handful of houses actually existed in this place, and some businesses. Off to their right Ashley could swear she heard the soft lull of waves.
"Loen, Norway," Bjorn replied. A cool breeze swept across the fjord that they stood in, making Ashley shiver. With any luck, Japan would have this weather by the end of the weekend, but that didn't mean she'd thought ahead to bring her sweatshirt with her.
"So," Ashley began, turning toward Bjorn. "Anywhere you want to go, you can get there." It dawned on her, then, who he was. "You're how they've been getting from Japan to halfway around the world in less than an hour!"
He shrugged, glancing away. "Well, me and Kuwabara. He's better at this than I am, that's for sure. He can even access Demon World. Me…"
He trailed off. "I've been having some issues with it, even before the barrier closes tomorrow. Kuwabara, though, he can slice through it like it's nothing. He's the real champ," Bjorn said, but quickly changed the subject. The negative comment indirectly turned back on himself caught Ashley's attention, though she didn't remark on it. "Hey, enough of this. I want to show you something."
Bjorn opened another portal. This time to New York City. Even at night, the city held the potential for the craziness that it held every single day, like a breath before a scream. Ashley did the quick conversion in her head; it must have been just an hour or so before sunrise. "We keep checkpoints all around the world. They're like, homes away from home, or…" he was struggling to find the right word. He said it in Norwegian, although Ashley had no hope of understanding that language. She knew English, of course, and had taken Japanese and German in high school. Norwegian was lost on her. Ashley waited. "Checkpoints really isn't right… they're like places you can go that are connected to Genkai's temple. If you go there, we can get word wherever it needs to go. We have friends manning the areas that will help put you in touch with Hiei, or Yukina, or Yusuke."
"Where all do you have them?" Ashley asked, following Bjorn down the street to an old worn-down looking building. 512 Hunters Street, the sign read above the door. "Here, obviously: New York City," Ashley had never felt any desire to come to New York City, and now that she was there, she still felt no desire to explore it. "Moscow, Russia, Salvador in Brazil, and Cappadocia in Turkey."
"That's quite an array," Ashley replied. "Where on earth is Cappadocia? I obviously know where Moscow is, and I know Salvador is on the coast, but I've never heard of Cappadocia."
Bjorn turned, one hand on the door handle of 512 Hunters Street. "Do you know where Konya is?" Ashley shook her head. "Kayseri?" Again, she shook her head. Bjorn signed. "Well, you obviously know where we are now. Let me take you there."
Again, he opened a portal. Again, they stepped through.
Cappadocia was beautiful in an untraditional sense, but it still managed to take Ashley's breath away, the gasp slipping out as she stepped through the portal.
"What on earth?"
It was like the land had fallen away, leaving buildings carved right into the rock. All the way on the other side of the world from New York, Of course, there were clusters of modern buildings here and there, but even they were built with bricks of the same light rock. Around the edges of the city, cliffs rose up, shielding them from the outside world.
"This is Cappadocia!" Bjorn exclaimed, gesturing to the unfamiliar terrain around them. It looked barren, the rock did that, but truly, it was an exquisite place. Unlike New York city, the day was in full-swing, people running from place to place and cars zipping between the strange structures. "We are essentially in the middle of Turkey."
"How on earth did you find this place?" Ashley asked. They stood at one of the cliffs, standing over the city, and staring out at the far reaches of the surrounding scrubland.
"Kurama, actually," Bjorn replied, coming to stand next to her. He was close enough that if it had been Hiei she would have felt his heat immediately. "He was out scouting for a place. We've tried to place them in particular regions of the world. We're trying to find a place in Africa, but have had little luck so far.
"It was the perfect place of in the middle of nowhere, and surrounded by people. Don't want anything too conspicuous, right?" He phrased it like a question, but grinned, his eyes crinkling. His smile was infectious, and soon, Ashley couldn't help herself, until thoughts of Hiei wormed themselves back into her mind.
"Hey, Bjorn," she began, nervously twirling a loose thread on the cuff of her sweatshirt between her fingers. "Can I ask a favor?" He quirked a brow, humming in question. Ashley bit her bottom lip nervously; if she didn't ask quickly she'd lose her nerve.
"Can… can I have a hug?" He didn't move. "It's just, you look like you give great hugs, and-" She wasn't sure, really, what she would follow up that 'and' with, but she didn't need to.
Moving quickly, Bjorn turned, wrapping Ashley in his embrace. One arm around her waist, the other pulling her close and tucking her head into the crook where his neck met his shoulder.
Ashley froze, not really believing what was happening in that moment. But Bjorn held on, and slowly, Ashley wrapped her arms around him, too.
He was so kind. So kind. And unassuming, and wanting to share things with her, and didn't think less of her. He saw that she was upset, and he just… he just acted. Took her to a place that would lighten her heart and make her smile.
Why couldn't Hiei be that way?
She drew in a shaky breath, finally stepping away from Bjorn, even if a small part of her wanted to keep hanging on for a little longer.
"So, do I give good hugs?"
Ashley couldn't help but giggle as she tried to secretly wipe away the tears that had gathered in her eyes.
Bjorn was grinning again, his hands resting in his back pockets, his eyes crinkling in that way they did. All the way up where they stood there was a slight breeze, and it drifted his hair around his eyes. She had to admit, he was handsome.
"I just wanted to tell you," she began slowly, wondering how to phrase what she wanted to say so that he wouldn't get mad that she, Yukina, and Botan had been talking behind his back. "I don't blame you for not being able to get the portal open that day. Really, I didn't think Hiei was coming back for me at all. I was trying to figure a way out on my own."
He hung his head, hand rubbing the back of his neck, but he still wore a soft smile. If she hadn't seen it for himself, she might think that he was happy all the time.
"Well, Hiei can be an ass," he said, glancing away back to the magical city below them. "A big ass." That made Ashley only laugh, even through the shaky breaths she tried to take in. "But I think you should talk to him. He's never been the type to give away his heart freely and it takes a lot to get to know him. But you've managed to. He's let you. He wouldn't do that if he didn't care about you. I think you'll find that you're on the same page."
Bjorn's words stilled Ashley, the back of her hand pressed against her mouth.
"I'm pretty sure he's left me, honestly," she admitted, tears springing to her eyes once more. "He won't even look at me, and he treats me like trash."
"Okay, then, so he's a dick," Bjorn mumbled, running a hand over the back of his neck, again. "Maybe you shouldn't talk to him if he's going to treat you like that, but if you want to try to fix things, you need to talk to him. He's not going to know how you feel if you don't, and I'm getting the feeling that you haven't yet, have you?"
Ashley didn't reply, and Bjorn didn't say any more, either, even as Ashley waited for it. Finally, he turned back to her and asked, "Are you ready to get back? I don't want your boyfriend or non-boyfriend coming after me waving his pointy stick."
At that she was rolling, tears springing back to her eyes for an entirely different reason.
Bjorn let her compose herself as he opened the portal. Only when he followed her through did he lean close and whisper, "You'll be okay."
Friday started the same way that Thursday had: Ashley woke up alone and dressed before she went to eat. The second day that Hiei never showed.
After breakfast, Ashley met Genkai outside, but at the training grounds that Yukina had told her to go to. Thunder rumbled deep and heavy in the distance. For the first time in a day it had stopped raining, the cool air nipping at her legs where she'd left her shorts on and opted for a sweatshirt to cover her arms, instead.
Genkai's instruction was simply to manifest her power in her hands, a feat that proved more difficult than she originally thought it would be.
Again, and again, and again, Ashley closed her eyes, almost in a meditative-like state, grasping at her power within her, and tried to pull it to the surface, to her hands. She followed Genaki's training and eventually Shizuru's words from that night at Yukina's flat, but no matter how she tried, she just continued to stand there, awkwardly in a fighting stance, with nothing to show for it. Her hands remained empty.
Finally, growing impatient with Ashley's incompetence, Genkai called Hiei over, from his place in the trees above. He landed softly beside Genkai, staring at Ashley like she was something he'd never seen before. She tried not to let it bother him.
"Show her," the old woman groused. "Show her how it's done."
He barely spared a glance to her before calling his power into his right hand, red energy engulfing it.
"If you can't even do this, how can you hope to fight back?" Hiei snipped at her. Really, all Ashley wanted to do was sink into the ground. His energy grew, until it engulfed his entire body, but she felt it. She felt it like a thunderstorm growing, she felt it like a pressure on her chest, as it expanded, until Genkai finally admonished him.
"Why don't you stop showing off, Hiei, and go do something useful?" His energy disappeared immediately as he glared at the woman. His control was incredible.
Barely sparing a glance back at Ashley, Hiei disappeared, leaving Ashley and Genkai alone again.
"Like he showed you, eventually you'll reach that level, but I don't expect mastery in a single day. Let's just focus on you getting it into your hands. Try again."
She did. Ashley tried for another two hours until Botan finally called them in for lunch.
Ashley, however, waited; looking to Genkai for approval before moving. Finally, she sighed. "Might as well. Give me something to muse over until afterward."
Lunch was good, and included Yukina, Botan, Ashley. and Genkai. Hiei was elsewhere, which was just as well, really. How was she supposed to look him in the eye after her pitiful performance?
After lunch, Ashley headed back out to the training grounds when Genkai stalled, standing in between the training grounds and the path that led to the forest. "Not that way." Ashley halted, but remained standing between Genaki and her destination.
"I'm sorry?" She finally asked when Genkai didn't move.
She merely turned and started walking out to the forest. Ashley eventually followed, without a word or protest, and followed on Genkai's heels a good thirty minutes from the temple, until they reached a clearing. Between training that morning and lunch, the thunder had faded out to nothing, but now, it approached with fervor as the wind picked up.
Genkai finally stopped walking next to an old pine tree, swaying in the cool breeze that was starting to pick up from the approaching thunderstorm. Somewhere nearby, thunder cracked, and raised the hairs on her arms and neck. The electricity was tangible in the air.
"Genkai?" Ashley asked carefully, even though she was almost certain what the answer was going to be.
"I want you to use the storm and release your power into this tree."
Yep. That was exactly what she thought Genkai was going to say. And the color drained from her face as her heart rate picked up.
"Please no," she begged, acutely aware of the pine tree to her back. Genkai didn't move. Didn't offer any reprieve for her.
The thunder was getting closer, the telltale signs of lightning nearby. It called to her, the power in the air surrounding her.
"Genkai, please. I don't want to." Touching the demon in the warehouse flashed through her thoughts. Even though she'd only touched his stomach, her electricity had spread out from there and up, through his torso, stuttering his heart to a stop, as it continued to spread through his fingertips, and down his legs. It had been wild; a power she could barely control. And she felt everything. She didn't want to feel it again.
She didn't want to hurt Genkai.
"What's going on here?" Hiei dropped to the ground as lighting cracked just behind him. It was growing - this need to let her power out. It gripped her windpipe and kicked up her heart.
"Hiei, stay out of this." Genkai yelled through the storm. "Girl, you need to do this." It wasn't a question. Ashley wanted to do well with her training, she wanted to learn a lot, but not like this. Not pressured into using her power in the most raw form.
Lightning cracked through her, whipping up into a frenzy. One glance at Hiei told her everything she needed to know. He was terrified, too, terrified for her, and again, the memory of the warehouse came back, sharp and precise.
She had been alone. Hiei wasn't coming. She had to escape.
Ashley touched the tree.
In less than three seconds, her power exploded out of her touch, directly into the tree, as the electricity in the storm responded to the call of her power and answered. It struck the tree, a direct path to the ground, and lit the tree from the inside. The glowing bark instantaneously shattered, wood and branches splintering off from the tree itself.
Thunder answered her power, cracking overhead and making the hairs on her arms rise.
As it faded, she turned to catch the expressions of both Hiei and Genkai, both covered in splinters, as the rain started to fall.
Genkai didn't say anything for a long moment. "Just like that, but you need to do it again. Remember what that felt like."
Glancing at Hiei, he didn't say a word, just watched her, carefully.
It was then that Genkai turned, having seen what she needed, and headed back to the temple and into the storm that was brewing.
The rest of the afternoon was spent directing Ashley's power into her hand. They stood in the thunderstorm until they were shivering and long past pruning, and until Ashley able to call her power into her hands like Hiei had done. And they did that again, and again, and again, until she could do it without thinking about it, and hold it there, effortlessly.
Only as the thunderstorm was beginning to weaken and peter off did Genkai call it for the night, right as dinner was announced, and Bjorn slipped away – back to his apartment, he said, two towns over - but Ashley decided a shower was in order before she could even think about eating.
It was only when she was showered and dry and dressed in the warmest clothing she had brought that she started walking back toward the kitchen, passing a window in the process and spotting Hiei on the porch. One hand held the hilt of his sword, the other a whetstone. His movements were precise and even, and the sword on the stone the only sound on that side of the temple.
Watching him sit there working, while he had no idea she was there, it was peaceful. He was peaceful, his face relaxed as he worked.
Steeling herself, Ashley found the closest door and slipped through. Oh yes, the storm had left a cool front in its wake, and even through the sleeves of her sweater and jeans she shivered. "Can I talk with you?" Ashley approached him cautiously, hands clasped in front of her, unsure, her voice small.
Hiei glanced up at her, taking her in, and for what felt like the millionth time that weekend, unreadable expression crossed his face before his mask was put firmly in place.
He didn't nod or shake his head, just flicked his gaze to something behind her. Ashley didn't turn to look at what it was. "Not here," he replied coolly. Sheathing his blade, he held out his arms, low, as if motioning at her for something.
"What?" she asked, trying to understand, but he huffed a sigh.
"I need to carry you there."
To anyone else he might have sounded like his usual brusque self. After almost five months with him, Ashley recognized his tone for what it was: he was frustrated, and barely containing it, too.
Complying with a huff, and determined to get to the bottom of why he was feeling this way, she stepped closer, and he swept her up into his arms. She looped her hands around his neck, and in a moment they were flying through the forest at his usual breakneck speed, trees and limbs passing so quickly they all blurred together.
Eventually they stopped, what felt like minutes later, and Hiei released her, only to walk as far away from where she stood as possible, and taking his warmth with him.
In the silence that stretched between them, Ashley took in where they stood: on a cliff of a mountain, overlooking the forest below them, and above, patches of starry sky slipped behind and in between clouds that blew through from the thunderstorm they had had earlier. The lights of the temple were nowhere to be seen. Out here, it was just them and the night sky.
She was about to ask what this place was when he spoke, abruptly and harsh. "You need to stop being afraid all the time." The accusation cut through her. "You need to take control of your power and I just see you trying to avoid it. I thought you were better than this." He turned toward her then, hurt flashing through his scarlet gaze, darkened by the night around them, before he could hide it from her.
Indignation rose up in her, fast and furious. "Well, I'm sorry I'm not more like you, then!" she hissed, her own anger taking her aback. Where had this been all weekend? But it was there, and she surrendered herself to it. No more trying to be polite and understanding to him. They needed to get on the same page if they were going to work through this. "Ooh, look at me! I'm Hiei! I'm high and mighty waving a sword around and I have no fear!"
A muscle twitched in his jaw, tension slipping through him as he drew himself back. He didn't even try to retort though, just turned, and started walking away.
She knew what came next. It was what always came next with him, and Ashley had had enough. "You think you're all brave, but you're just a coward when it really matters," she hissed, but he still heard her, and rounded on her.
"It's not like you want to be part of my world! One little encounter and you break!" He wasn't yelling, but said every word precisely, right in her face. "You're weak. Scared. Afraid to use your own power."
He was incredible! How could he even begin to fathom that? "Maybe I'm terrified of hurting the people I care about most. Maybe I'm terrified because I don't know what this is or what I'm doing and the one person I counted on to tell me about it all hasn't so much as brought it up once! I've asked and I've asked and I've asked and you still keep me in the dark! And no you blame me for not knowing anything? Fuck you, Hiei. Fuck you! You just want to see me as weak. You just want to put the blame on anyone else but yourself."
He stumbled back like Ashley had struck him. The next thing he said came quieter, softer. "That's the last thing I want."
Ashley wasn't done. "Oh, is it? Really? Because keeping me in the dark up until now has been a real advantage."
Hiei was silent for a moment. Then, with all the vigor of the last several months of frustration, all the second-guessing he'd done, it came tumbling out. "I'm not worth you knowing about this world! You say you want to know about all of this, well what if knowing is what gets you hurt?"
"I'm going to get hurt either way, Hiei, and I'd rather know what I'm up against," she replied, forcefully, as if the force of her words could convince him otherwise. "And I've told you before, but I'll tell you again: I," she laid a hand on her sternum, pressing her hand against her chest as if she could convince him. Please, let him believe me. "I choose you. But I can only continue to choose you if I know what it is I'm choosing. And I will tell you this every day until you believe me."
Something seemed to snap in Hiei. Even as Ashley softened her tone, his flared. "You want to know me? Fine." In a swift movement, he crossed the distance back to her. "I'll show you."
He took her hands in his vice-like grip, and raised his demonic energy, the very thing that Genkai had him show her earlier that day, but he didn't stop at the level that he had in training. No, it went from a warm embrace to a raging wild fire: hot, and suffocating, and drowning. It was fear and anger and power and confidence.
It made her breathless and dizzy and was exhilarating, and gave her chills, to be able to stand in the presence of this god, because that's surely what he was. He raised it until it surrounded her and filled her senses. In it, she couldn't even feel his hands. She could just feel him – his essence. And he was incredible.
And even as he raised his energy, she could feel the potential for more. This wasn't even everything. How-?
Just as she started to wonder, Hiei quelled his energy once more, and Ashley fought to catch her breath, her heart racing as butterflies filled her.
Hiei stepped away, leaving her on shaky legs, but turned away, to let her catch her breath and compose herself.
"Damn, Hiei," she muttered, fanning herself as his back was turned.
Even so, he shook his head, glancing back at her from under locks of his black hair that had fallen out of his usual messy style. "You're ridiculous." The words were serious, but the scoff he wore held something akin to affection.
Silence joined them as a friend again, as Ashley finally caught her breath and chose to step up to where he stood, hands shoved into his pockets. She nudged him with her shoulder. When she had his attention, she began, "I'm not going to say I'll stop being afraid, because I can't. Not after that. Hiei, I felt him," she admitted. Immediately the memory flashed through her. Like a sixth sense, the memory remained. "Almost like - like I ran my hand over the inside of his entire body. I felt him and his energy and I nearly wiped him out. Both of them. That terrifies me. Especially knowing I might do it to you.
"Will you show me how to fight? I don't want to be put in that situation again," she continued.
He breathed deep through his nose, looking away. "Genkai's the better teacher."
If the little "Oh," of disappointment that escaped her lips caught his attention, he didn't let it show. Genkai would obviously show her, and teach her, but she really wanted it to come from Hiei. Besides, it had been him who'd introduced her to this entire world.
They remained silent, in quiet companionship, staring up at the stars together. Ashley whispered, "It really is beautiful out here. I can see why you like it."
Slowly, painstakingly slow, a hand wormed itself into Ashley's fist, the same way that he had done the day before when he was about to unleash the Jagan on her. She let him, doing nothing to stop him, and slowly, he gripped her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.
"I need you to do something for me," Hiei finally spoke, his tenor soft, almost soft enough to be lost between them. "If I lose my patience, or if I push you away," Ashley looked at him, not moving from her position on the cliff, just enough for him to see her face. "Remind me why I continue to fight for you." He glanced away, briefly. "I have left you alone through most of this, and that's not fair. What I can tell you going forward I will."
That was probably the nicest thing he had ever said to her, which was why chills rose up her spine, freezing her where she stood.
They were also eerily familiar.
"What is it?" Hiei asked, having caught her expression, and worry twisted itself into his words.
She clenched her jaw, trying to place where she'd heard that before. But, that was the thing. He'd never said that to her before. Not even anything like it. This was the first time he had vowed to open up that she'd believed him. It was the first time he promised to stay with her.
So why did she know that she'd heard him say those exact words before?
Hiei was waiting for her answer, oblivious to the turmoil that raged within her. Slowly, carefully, she recounted for him the deja vu feeling she was feeling, and every feeling she'd felt in the last month or so that she could remember.
When Ashley finally glanced back up at him, having focused on one of the trees in the distance that moved in the breeze that had been left over from the storm, his expression showed notes of worry and frustration. She didn't even have to ask. "You've been feeling it, too."
He nodded. "And I feel it now." His thumb had stopped stroking the back of her hand.
"I mean," Ashley began, thinking out loud. "What are the odds? What are the odds that we'd experience deja vu at the exact same time? I mean, it almost feels like we've been here bef-"
She stuttered to a halt, knowledge flowing over her like a damn breaking. We've been here before.
"Ashley?" Hiei's concern struck through her thoughts like an anvil.
Slowly, carefully, and trying not to panic, she repeated, "Like we've been here before."
Whatever thought Hiei had, it rooted him to the ground, and Ashley could feel the air around her growing hotter and hotter with each passing moment. "Hiei?" Now it was her turn to be concerned.
He gripped her hand, like he was afraid she might disappear. "I've heard something similar," he ground out. "Where have you heard it?"
The intensity in his glare held her in place. "My sister, Sophia, has been sending me photos of the house - the ghosts have been writing that on the wall: We've been here before."
"Your sister?"
His intensity was overwhelming. "Yes, Sophia." When he kept glaring, she continued, knowing it wasn't directed at her. "She keeps the House in order. The one that my ancestors still haunt - Oh, don't look at me like that; I feel like I told you about this way back when. Back when we first met."
He didn't say anything, but rather released her hand and stepped away from the edge where they'd been standing. He paced, running a hand through his hair. "Hiei?"
"I need to have a talk with your ancestors," he said forcefully.
Did he realize that London was half a world away? "What, tonight?"
"No," he said, turning back to her to meet her gaze before looking away from her again. He was restless, like a stallion getting ready to bolt. "Bjorn's gone for the night. Kuwabara will be here tomorrow. I'll go then."
- End of Chapter Twenty-Five -
AND WE FINALLY HAVE 25! This chapter clocks in as my longest yet. My second longest, which until this chapter was my longest chapter - chapter 23 - clocks in at9,103. Chapter 25 is 14,051 words. Author's note not included.
I am So Sorry this is late. I am a terrible person and usually don't start writing until the weekend of posting, or in this case, day of. I realized very quickly that this chapter was going to be a monstrosity and would not have enough time to write it in one single afternoon. I am not that talented. So, I posted on my profile and on my tumblr that it would be out today, and here it is! There's so much information here, dear god. I hope you caught all of it. If not, never fear, it'll all come up again later, and hopefully you'll be surprised then.
And we've finally figured out one major plot point, or at least some of it. I'm so excited I finally get to share it with you! Writing that scene at the end gave me CHILLS.
I've come to the conclusion that I get chapters out more frequently on Sundays, so my posting schedule is going to shift by a day. Next chapter, Chapter 26, The Connection, will be posted June 15.
Also, this story got some amazing reviews since chapter 24! Thank you to WithLoveSammiV, JohnGreenGirl, Typha, Tsarashi, and my Guest reviewer! Typha, you were my number 100 reviewer, and I've now officially passed 100 reviews! Thank you for helping me reach that milestone! I don't have anything to give you because I lack talent in anything that's not office organization, writing, photography, or burning things in the kitchen, so please accept my overwhelming thanks instead. I hope you guys enjoyed 25 and leave me a comment if you did!
I do not own, in any way, the characters, places, or ideas of the Yu Yu Hakusho universe created by Yoshihiro Togashi. I only own my own characters and plot.