Disclaimer: I own nothing...
A/N: Anonymous reviewer who commented about the likelihood of me updating Wish me Luck versus Fate is such a b...witch, please check my blog – link in my profile, – for an answer.
Also, last time I posted this, I received some pretty mixed reviews regarding some OoCness from the characters, or to be more specific one particular character, near the end of this chapter; all I have to say is that they are all teenagers, and teenagers are prone to making mistakes. They are human after all.
You are welcome to feel conflicted, to like or not to like something, as long as you remain polite.
*I can't say when I'll post a new chapter next, but I'll try not to take so much time. Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favourited/alerted my story; know I appreciate every single one of you.*
Wish me Luck
Chapter 22
"Malfoy got Prefect? Draco Malfoy? You've got to be fucking kidding me," Wyatt exclaimed, expression a peculiar mix of shock and revulsion, as he stared at Cedric. While Scott and Percy tried to process the information, Cedric pulled Wyatt aside and attempted to apologise for his atrocious behaviour; Wyatt, too flabbergasted with the news that Draco got Prefect, forgave him without making him grovel as had been his intention.
Knowing his friend, Cedric would probably wallow in guilt for some time, so it'd be piece of cake to convince him to give him the password to his private Head Boy dormitory later as a way to make it up to him for acting like a brat.
But at the moment, they were all preoccupied wondering how in Merlin's name did Snape manage to convince Dumbledore that appointing Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson as Prefects was a good idea.
Unlike most non Slytherins students, Cedric didn't harbour ill feelings toward the Serpent House; with a former Slytherin for a mother, Cedric knew ambition and cunning were not necessary bad traits.
Only Malfoy and Parkinson were truly the worst kind of Slytherins thanks to their upbringing; despite Malfoy's delusions about his importance due to his family name, the majority of the school population hated his guts. Even his own House mates disliked him; most of them only put up with him due to their sense of loyalty to each other.
And Cedric was positive neither Malfoy nor Pansy would shy away from abusing their newly found power; Sabrina was obviously of the same mind, and he suspected that what was the reason she gave that little speech regarding responsibility and consequences in the Head Students' compartment.
Her warning that if anyone of them mistreated another student, she'd go over their Head of House, and straight to Dumbledore himself, thus ensuring they knew Snape wouldn't be able to protect them, had the necessary effect; given Professor Snape's blatant and unapologetic favouritism toward his House, Malfoy could have get away with pretty much anything he'd do during his tenure as a Prefect. But if Dumbledore was immediately alerted to any wrong doings, Snape wouldn't be able to cover it up.
Sabrina's choice to address this matter in a general way rather than outright informing the Slytherin Prefects was a brilliant move on her part, eliminating the possibility that either one of them could file a report for discrimination.
So far, Sabrina had been up to task with her Head Girl duties, and if Cedric wanted to be on equal footing with his Head partner, he'd need to step up his game.
"I don't know why you are so surprised." Scott scoffed, stretching his legs across the space between the seats, and crossing his arms. After checking out the Heads' compartment, they'd dragged Cedric back to theirs so they'd be closer to their friends. Unfortunately, normal compartments didn't afford the same leg space. "Everyone knows Malfoy is Snape's pet. Of course he'd get Prefect! What you really need to ask yourselves is how that brainless bimbo, Pansy Parkinson, got Prefect as well! At least Malfoy's appointment is justifiable by his grades; he's, what, third, in his year behind Granger and McMillan? And his record is spotless with the exception of a couple of detentions. Parkinson on the other hand? Come on! If any Slytherin girl deserved that position, it's Tracey Davis!"
"Personally, I think it's a blessing she got the position. She'll be too busy fawning over Malfoy, and bragging about it to her friends to cause any real damage." Cedric smirked suddenly. "I hadn't had the chance to talk to Sabrina privately, but we'll meet tomorrow to start working on the patrols schedule, so I'll talk to her about those two; not that I need to. She's perfectly aware of their characters so I have no doubt that she'd keep her eyes and ears open for complaints against them. And so will I. But, to be sure, I'd like you to spread the word that if any student feels harassed by any Prefect, they can come straight to us. If enough complains have been filed, I can go straight to Dumbledore, and Snape won't be able to protect them then."
"Do you really think anyone will report Malfoy, if he does misbehave? He's a bully, and a coward, but he's not an idiot. He'll never bully someone who can fight back, or who isn't afraid to report him. And the younger students will be too scared to say anything," Percy pointed out logically.
"That's why I need you to let them know they can come to us directly. We aren't required to reveal who filed a complaint until we present the case to a professor and the student will be required to come forth to verify it. But if we have enough complaints filed, we can bypass the Head of House, and go straight to the Headmaster. Besides, during patrols they'd both be partnered with a Prefect from another House, so they'd be reigned in. It's the rest of the time I'm worrying about; that's why I need the students to know they can come to me, or Sabrina directly."
"Sounds like a plan," Wyatt said trying to hide a yawn behind his hand; one of the few things he wouldn't miss after he graduated, it'd be the long train ride to and from school. It hurt his back and bum to have to sit for so many hours.
Cedric finally allowed himself a minute of closing his eyes, and relaxing. The last few days had been rough on him; his emotional turmoil manifested in sleepless nights, loss of appetite, and tiredness. He'd tried to regain his cheer, but he couldn't find it in himself to pretend to be happy, when he felt like dying inside.
He felt like he was drowning in regret and intense longing whenever he caught sight of his Gryffindor witch.
And because he, apparently, wasn't having a shitty day already, one of his biggest mistakes chose that moment to walked into the compartment.
"Ced, hi." A soft, modulated voice startled him out of his reverie; reflexively, he straightened, his head snapping to the side so fast it gave him whiplash.
Cho – already dressed in her elegant, tailored robes, with her long, shiny black hair pulled back in a ponytail tied with a ribbon – stood in the open door, an uncertain smile on her face, and her dark eyes filled with a myriad of conflicting emotions.
He felt sick to his stomach.
"Hi... Cho." His voice came out strangled, and he cleared his throat noisily. Cho, looking concerned, took a step inside the compartment. Merlin, she didn't deserve this; she deserved so much more than him. She deserved a guy who would love and cherish her.
Not him.
Choosing to stay with her when he was in love with someone else was beyond condemnable; he finally understood why Hermione had reacted so violently to his advances. He hadn't been thinking about anyone but himself; he hadn't thought about how his indiscretions might effect Cho when all she had done since they started dating was love, trust and support him.
Merlin, Wyatt was right; he was a bastard. He needed to grow a pair and face the consequences of his actions. Playing it safe, keeping Cho on the side in case Hermione rejected him was unfair to both girls. If he wanted to have a chance with Granger, he needed to clear things with Cho, and start afresh.
But was he strong enough? Was he brave enough to do the right thing when he knew the right thing would break Cho's heart?
For once, think about Cho first, he scolded himself. He had to take into consideration her feelings and make his decision based on what was best for her. He shouldn't allow Hermione and his feelings for her to have a part in this; they had intervened with his decisions regarding Cho enough already, and he couldn't keep doing that.
And as much as it'd hurt her at first, breaking up was the best thing for Cho; because he had tried, he had done his best to love her, but he couldn't... he couldn't love her, not as she deserved to be loved. And pretending otherwise was only hurting them both.
"Would you –" she stopped, cheeks flushing; she took a deep, tremulous breath, and tried for a thinly hopeful smile. "Would you like to hang out with me for a while? We can go to the Heads' compartment for some privacy. We haven't seen each other since our date in Diagon Alley, and you were so quiet, and distant, and you left so soon... I thought we could talk, maybe? I... really missed you."
Her smile was genuine, but it didn't quite manage to reach her eyes; honestly, Cedric had changed since he woke up after the third task fiasco back in June. And his behaviour the weeks leading up to it had been erratic, but she had thought it was his anxiety for the task.
She didn't know what to make of it, and how to handle this new, distant Cedric; shoving her doubts away, she had reprimanded herself for not taking into consideration his awful experience. Cedric had gone through a traumatizing experience, and he obviously needed time to process that, and deal with his emotional trauma. All he needed was time.
Yet, a small part of her had whispered in her mind that his ordeal had changed him in a fundamental level, and when he finally worked through his issues, he'd no longer be her Cedric; he'd no longer be the boy who had relentlessly pursued her for months, who bought her chocolates and flowers to cheer her up when she felt down, and who she had loved enough to give her virginity to without stopping to think about it.
And she'd ached with that knowledge; she hurt knowing Cedric might not reciprocate her feelings any more. For weeks she had pushed the hurt back, and kept writing to him dutifully, trying her hardest not to sound desperate in her letters, but as more and more days passed without a letter from him, her doubts flared up, and most nights she cried herself to sleep, yearning for the smiling boy who had woo her to come back to her.
When she'd received a letter from him, she had rejoiced; time, that was all he had need! And he was finally ready to come back to her! Stomping her insecurity down, she had reminded herself that during the second task, she had been the one Cedric would miss the most, so she obviously meant something to him.
Not to mention, they had made love; Cedric – kind, thoughtful, gentle Cedric – would never sleep with her if he didn't have feelings for her.
She had quickly squashed her fears, finding excuses for Cedric ignoring her half the summer, and had spend hours picking out the perfect outfit for their date.
Exuberant with the hope things were returning to normal, she'd dismiss his aloofness and overall fool mood to nerves, and him still struggling with his trauma; so what if he hadn't tried to kiss her, and their embrace had felt awkward? And what if he'd spent the entirety of their date acting distant and quiet?
She'd return home that day with a bright smile and a heavy heart.
"Ced?" she repeated his name when he failed to respond; she viciously beat down the voice whispering in her mind that he had probably found someone better than her during the summer, and that was why he treated her thus.
A sharp elbow to his ribs brought Cedric to the present.
"Ouch! What the hell?" he growled, rubbing his side and glaring at the culprit. Wyatt gave him a dirty glare, inclining his head toward the awkward girl in the doorway. Cho's right hand was tightly clutching the door, her knuckles white, and a forced smile on her face.
"Sorry, Cho," he apologised, realising he had gotten lost in thought while staring at her. "I- I'm afraid I didn't hear a word you said."
He inwardly cursed himself when he noticed her face falling. She quickly covered it with a sunny smile, but it was too late; he had seen the hurt flashing in her eyes, and he felt wrenched.
"It's... It's okay. I asked if you wanted to come with me, to talk?" she repeated her invitation, her left hand rising to touch her cheek, a nervous gesture.
"Oh, yes, of course," he smiled, making a move to stand, happy this opportunity had presented itself so soon; as apprehensive he was about their upcoming conversation, it was better to just get it over with now. But he never got the chance to join her; Padma Patil and Ernie McMillan appeared behind her, poking their heads in the compartment. They wore similar unsure expressions as they checked the occupants of the compartment.
"Patrols...?" Padma made it sound like a question rather than a statement, and Cedric made a mental note to talk to them about it. Padma finally noticed Cho, and a bright smile lit up her features at the sight of her House mate. "Oh, hi, Cho!"
"Hey." Cho returned the smile, though hers was tight lipped.
"Um, we didn't know this was your compartment, guys," Ernie apologised, rubbing the back of his neck. Cedric rolled his eyes. Just because he was there, didn't mean they shouldn't do their job! Another point he'll have to make in the first Prefect meeting. "Come on, Padma, let's go check the other compartments."
"Yeah," the Ravenclaw nodded, sparing a polite wave at Cho, before following her partner out the door.
"Wait!" Cedric hastily stood up and pushed his way out, lifting a finger to Cho, as he approached the two fifth years. "Everything's going smoothly?"
"Yes, yes," Ernie nodded, scratching his nose. "Everything's great."
"Where's Hannah?"
"We split up," Padma said. "Since you told us we'll patrol with people from other Houses, we thought it'd be better to start now. Malfoy and Parkinson disagreed, but that's fine by me. I'd rather throw myself off the train than patrol with either one of them."
Cedric chuckled at disgusted expression.
"You'll have to patrol with them eventually," he reminded her casually, only to receive a glare in return.
"Don't remind me."
"So Hannah?" he asked again, trying to hide his anxiousness; the answer to this question would inadvertently answer what he'd truly wanted to ask, but couldn't bring himself to.
"With Weasley," Ernie answered, checking his watch. "We're almost done with our part of the train, Ced. Do we have to report to you, or Sabrina after?"
"No, no," he said, trying not to snarl; if Ron was with Hannah, that meant Goldstein was with Granger.
That sneaky bastard!
"When you're done, feel free to return to your friends," he told them, his smile bordering on maniacal. Ernie and Padma exchanged a bewildered look, but chose not to say anything before rushing away.
"Cedric?" Cho's voice was timid, unsure, and he internally swore up a storm.
Merlin, why everything had to happen at once? Couldn't she see he was not in the mood?
"What?" he snapped, unable to control his temper.
Cho faltered; eyes wide, she chanced a glance at his friends, and returned her eyes to him, her face pale.
"I –"she swallowed, reaching a hand to touch her throat as if she couldn't breathe properly. "Can we talk?"
"No." He dismissed her, too busy obsessing over Granger and Goldstein.
"Cedric, please –"
"I said no." He nearly growled, ignoring her hurt expression. "Is it so difficult for you to understand the word 'no'? If I wanted to talk, I'd have seek you out! I clearly didn't, so connect the fucking dots!"
Cho stared at him, a horrified look in her eyes as her hands trembled so badly, she had to clutch her robes to stop them. She swallowed once, twice.
"I understand," she whispered meekly. "My apologies for disturbing you."
She took great care not to touch him as she walked past him, surreptitiously wiping tears from her eyes. "See you in school," she softly said before dashing away, desperate to find a place to cry without anyone seeing her.
Cedric entered the compartment and shut the door with a bang; he glared at his friends when he noticed the contempt in their eyes.
"What?" He sneered, crossing his arms across his chest.
"Careful with the sneering, Ced." Percy's voice was icy. "You start to look remarkably like Malfoy."
That brought him up short.
"What –"
"That was – How dare you –"Wyatt seemed incapable of completing a sentence, his fury rising. He closed his eyes, and breathed deeply before opening them again and fixing them on him. "That was totally inexcusable, Cedric!"
"She –"
"SHUT UP!" Wyatt roared, jumping to his feet. Scott scrambled to cast silencing charms on their compartment. "You had no right to treat her this way! You are her boyfriend, Cedric; her boyfriend! And all she wanted was to spend some time with you, talk to you! After everything you've done to her, you owed her at least that! You used her, Cedric! You slept with her despite being in love with someone else! You knew you wouldn't love her that way, and you still took her virginity! Do you know how despicable that is? How much of a fucking arsehole that makes you? I know the situation with Granger is messing with you, but that's no excuse for the way you treated Cho! She's done nothing wrong, and you just acted as if she was a mere nuisance, an annoyance! How could you?"
"Wyatt's right, Cedric," Scott solemnly said when Wyatt stopped to take a breathe. "Cho is the innocent party in this mess, not the villain."
"I... I didn't think –"
"Of course you didn't." Percy sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly. "When you realised Granger was with Goldstein, nothing else mattered any more; it's always about Granger. Always.
You seem to be under the impression that harbouring unrequited feelings for Granger absolves you of any blame for acting like a tosser; well, it doesn't. You love her, you don't know if she has feelings for you, you are hurt, we get all that! But you can't keep treat people like they mean nothing just because you are jealous; I'm sorry, Ced, but it doesn't work like that. Sooner or later, saying 'sorry' will stop being enough, and where will you be then, Ced? You either confess to Hermione, or you let her go. It's one or the other, and it's gotta happen fast, Ced, because I'm sick of your crap."
"It's not that easy," he grounded out through clenched teeth.
"We didn't say it was easy," Wyatt interfered, sounding equally angry. "It's hard, and terrifying, and the fear of rejection is crippling, but you can't keep using this as an excuse. It's not enough any more to justify your bullshit."
They locked eyes, and Cedric saw everything Wyatt was holding back; he had been in his shoes, Hell he still was! Falling in love for the first time with a girl like Granger had been terrifying for the Hufflepuff playboy.
Yet he had no shy away from his feelings simply because he could get rejected; he'd pursued her, confessed his feelings, and even when she'd rejected him, he'd tried again and again. He'd gotten hurt, emotionally and physically, and he had survived.
He had not let the fear of rejection dictate his actions. Wyatt was a far braver man than he.
They are right, he inwardly sighed.
Not a minute before he lashed out at Cho, he'd been thinking how unfair he was being to her; and when he finally had the chance to do the right thing, he turned around and snapped at her, because he was jealous. Once more, he allowed his feelings for Hermione to interfere with his interactions with Cho, and he had hurt her... again.
The memory of Cho's tears shattered him.
"Oh, Merlin, what did I do?"
"Forget about it," Percy said calmly. "Focus on what you can do to fix this, and then get your arse out there and do that."
xxXxx
Hermione was on her way to her friends' department, having just finished her patrol with Anthony; unfortunately, their designated part of the train had been near the front of it, and the only empty compartments when they'd arrived earlier that day had been in the back of the train, so she had to walk all the way back to join her friends.
With the exception of the Slytherins, Hermione was very hopeful about the rest of the Prefects; she'd regularly studied with Ernie and Hannah in the library, and after spending more time with Parvati and Lavender, she had developed a friendship with Padma and they frequently partnered up in their share classes.
As for Anthony, he'd been a somewhat close friend since third year, when Professor Babbling had partnered them for their first Ancient Runes project, and then Professor Vector had teamed them up with Ernie and Padma for a group project in Arithmancy.
Anthony had been a regular member of her study group ever since, and Hermione had found herself immensely enjoying the Ravenclaw's company; they had intellectual conversations and debated various topics, and often exchanged opinions on their projects, and offered each other a new perspective when the other was stuck on a theorem.
Being a half-blood, he was more than willing to help her better understand pureblood traditions, although they didn't practise them much at his house, and he had never made her feel awkward about her nerdiness and know it all tendencies; on the contrary, he often compliment her intelligence, and joked that her being sorted into Gryffindor, when she obviously belonged in Ravenclaw, was a sign that the Sorting Hat had gone senile.
Before Cedric and Victor, she had contemplated the idea of getting romantically involved with Anthony, but it had been nothing more than a fleeting thought. Sure, he was handsome and smart, and to be honest, exactly the type of guy she had always saw herself with, but her heart would not get over her silly infatuation with Diggory.
Bother.
Shaking her head to clear it of the mess that was her romantic life, she didn't notice the taller girl barrelling towards her until they collided, quite painfully, and tumbled in an undignified heap on the train floor.
"Ow!" she groaned, disentangling herself from the other girl; she rubbed her sore bum, and managed to stand, hoping she wasn't blushing as furiously as she thought she was. Avoiding the other girl's eyes, she started patting her robes, tsk-ing at the wrinkles. "I'm really sorry I bumped into you. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, I'm afraid."
"I- I- It's o- okay," came the brittle response, and Hermione looked up sharply; Cho Chang was doing her best to hide the fact she was crying, but her blotchy and red face, not to mention the tear tracks glistening on her pale cheeks, gave her away.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" she asked abruptly, blushing at her frankness. Cho was neither her friend not her House mate; they barely knew each other, and their relationship was tainted with all those rumours Skeeter had spread about her and Cedric last year.
But it wasn't in her nature to ignore someone when that someone needed help, even if that someone was the girlfriend of a guy she was harbouring really mixed feelings for.
Damn her compassionate soul, and her innate need to help others; carefully, still unsure of her reception, Hermione reached out and placed a comforting hand on Cho's shoulder.
It was like a dam had broken; at her gentle touch, Cho let out a soft sob and launched herself at Hermione. Unprepared for such a violent reaction, Hermione had to take a step back and lean against the corridor's wall to steady them, as the girl started sobbing in her shoulder. Uncertainly, she wrapped her arms around Cho's middle, and started rubbing soothing circles on her back, just like her own mum did whenever Hermione was upset.
Cho tightened her grip around her midsection, and practically soaked her robes with her tears.
Aware of how intimate the situation was, she checked to make sure no curious eyes watched them – the last thing Cho needed was some insensitive busy bodies gossiping about the source of her distress, – and reached behind her to open the door to the empty compartment they were standing in front of. Pulling Cho inside, all the while softly crooning in her ear, she shut the door with her foot, and led Cho to sit, making sure to maintain the hug the older girl obviously needed.
Some minutes later, Cho's tears had dried up, and small hiccups rocked her body as she shook in Hermione's arms.
"It's okay, now, everything's fine," Hermione consoled, patting her back. Mentally, she had already concocted three different plans to find the one responsible for Cho's distress – although she had an inkling on his identity, – and make him pay for this.
Another five minutes passed, and the Ravenclaw managed to regain some composure; extracting herself from Hermione's arms, she gratefully accepted the handkerchief offered, and duffed her swollen eyes, and cheeks. She tried to smile but it was tremulous.
"Thank you," she murmured, her voice hoarse from crying. Clearing her throat, she sniffed. "I needed that." Seeing the wet patch on Hermione's shoulder, where she'd hid her face and cried, she cringed. "I'm sorry for ruining your robes."
"It's fine," Hermione rushed to reassure her, retrieving her wand from her pocket. "Scourgify." The fabric was instantly dry and clean, and she smiled at the older girl. "See? All clean."
Cho smiled.
Neither of them spoke for a while, but Hermione couldn't stand the silence.
"How are you? Really," Hermione asked, keeping her voice low.
The raven haired girl shrugged half heartedly.
"Fine, I guess... I've been better... I'm really sorry you had to deal with... this." She motioned to herself, dark eyes welling up with tears again. "I've been keeping everything inside me for so long... I couldn't any more, not after what happened earlier. I was hoping to spare everyone from it, but you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, I guess." She laughed brokenly, blinking rapidly to stave off any more tears, and twisting her own robes in her hands.
"I'm glad I was here," Hermione murmured. "You really needed someone, so I'm happy I stumbled into you." They exchanged smiles, and it was Cho's grateful smile that gave her courage to ask her next question. "If you don't mind me asking... What happened? Did... did someone hurt you?"
What if someone had actually hurt her? Voldemort might be staying low for the time being, but he'd be a fool not to plant spies in the Ministry and Hogwarts, especially when he was aware Dumbledore knew he was back.
Most of his Death Eaters were upstanding members of wizarding society, and many of them had children attending school; Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle to name a few. What if they were used as spies? And what if he had already started recruiting among the younger generation? Draco Malfoy might be an arrogant, prejudiced, evil cockroach, but he was still a child; what if his father forced him to submit to his Lord?
What would Malfoy do in that case?
"Yes," Cho quietly confirmed, and Hermione's heart started thumping in her chest, various ways to contact the Order immediately springing in her mind. "And no."
What?
Her head unconsciously tilting to the side, she regarded Cho with confused eyes, patiently waiting for an explanation.
The older witch huffed a laugh; it sounded bitter, hurt.
Fixing her eyes on a spot above Hermione's head, Cho girded herself.
"Cedric..." she gritted her teeth, determined not to break down again. "Before the third task, we... He asked me, and I... I wanted to, but now..."
The realisation of what Cho was trying to say felt like a physical blow to the stomach; her heart felt like someone was trying to rip it from her chest, and her lungs constricted, but she managed to maintain a neutral expression. Cho didn't need to know how her words were effecting her.
She might have feelings for Cedric, but Hermione was a realist; she knew the chances of them working out were slim, and she'd resigned herself to staying away from him. She had her OWLs to focus on, and Harry needed her now more than ever; in the grand scheme of things, her feelings for Cedric were unimportant.
"We made love," Cho confirmed in a whisper, her words a knife in Hermione's heart.
Stay quiet, Cho mustn't know you care for her boyfriend like that. God, her boyfriend! Her boyfriend would made love to her the night before he kissed you!
"I loved him, I still love him... That's why... I was a virgin..." She blushed, fiddling with her robes, eyes averted. "But I thought... It's Cedric... We love each other. He'd never hurt me intentionally. Or so I thought."
It was such a surreal moment; they barely knew each other, their only tie a guy they both had feelings for, a guy that messed with both their hearts, but right here, right now, Cho needed someone who would listen without judging her. A person who would understand her without asking too many questions.
And luck had it that that person would be Hermione.
Her friends had made their opinion on Hermione clear after that Daily Prophet article last year, but Cho wasn't the kind of person who judged another person based on rumours and speculations; from their limited interactions, Cho thought Hermione was a dependable, kind and loyal girl. Cho had no doubt Hermione would keep everything that happened between them today a secret.
And that gave her the necessary courage to talk, to finally confess everything that had been burdening her for months.
"When Harry brought him back, I thought... I thought he was dead!" She blinked, twin tears running down her cheeks. "I thought I lost him... My heart – I've never knew you could survive that kind of pain, you know? That moment, I felt like my life was ending. I was so worried over the summer; I knew his parents would want to keep a close eye on him, I mean, they are his parents, you know? If I had been terrified, then imagine how they must have felt that night! So I didn't push him to meet, but... I had hoped he'd write at least. I wrote him every day, stayed up all night waiting for a reply, but nothing. For weeks I had had no news from him, so when his letter came, I thought the worst part was over. I thought he was reaching out to me because he was trying to move on. I know what he went through is horrible, but I'd hoped... I'd hoped he'd let me be there for him. But he barely spoke to me when we met in Diagon Alley... I tried, I honestly did, to get him to open up, but his answers were all monosyllabic and whenever I tried to breach the topic of that graveyard, he shut down and cut me off." More tears leaked from her eyes, and she angrily wiped them off with Hermione's handkerchief. "I thought he needed time, so I gave it to him... I don't mind waiting for him, if it means we can work through this, but today... He snapped at me! I asked him to come with me, so we could spend some time together before we reach Hogwarts, and maybe talk, and he agreed at first, but then his mood flipped and he... It was as if he was a different person suddenly," she whispered, eyes faraway. "Maybe it was me... Maybe I did something, and he doesn't want me any more."
"Cho." Hermione reached out and touched Cho's tightly clasped hands. "Diggory... He's been through a lot – you said so yourself. Harry... Well, he told me everything about that night... Cedric came very close to dying, Cho. Even though he was unconscious most of the time, an experience like that... It leaves a mark on a person... He needs time, yes; but he also needs people who care about him to be there for him when he's finally ready to open up. He needs you to be strong for him when he's not, and he needs you to be patient. Only time can heal the scars on his soul, and the only thing you can do, is help him move on when it's time. Be there for him, when he asks.
"Also, I don't think he's taking the way the Minister tries to cover up the whole thing very well; he was almost murdered, and the Ministry is trying to convince everyone it was just an accident. He's angry, and he doesn't have an outlet for that anger; what can he do, march to the Minister's office, and punch some sense into him? They'd lock him up! Unfortunately, the people close to Cedric – he and Harry both to be honest, – will bear the brunt of his anger. Trust me, I know. But that doesn't mean Cedric doesn't care for you. I'm sure he'll apologise for today soon."
I'll make the bloody bastard crawl on his hands and knees and apologise if I must, she thought viciously, going through her vast repertoire of hexes and curses, searching for an appropriate one.
Cho stared at her for a minute, and then a remorseful smile crossed her lips.
"He does have a lot on his mind. But that's not the main issue, I think. Cedric... The Cedric I fell in love last year, the Cedric who walked in that labyrinth... I don't think he exists any more. I think he never made it out of that graveyard... He died there... And our relationship died with him."
"Oh, Cho," she sighed, having no words to contradict the Ravenclaw witch; because Cho was right. Cedric was not the same man he was before he entered that labyrinth. He was different; in fact, if she had to wager a guess, she'd say he had changed long before the third task... It just took him some time to accept it himself.
Fetching her wand from her pocket, Cho scourgified her handkerchief and handed it back to her.
"Thank you for listening to me, Hermione. You have no idea how much I needed that."
"No problem," the younger witch reassured her. With a last smile, Cho opened the door and slid to the empty corridor, probably going back to her friends.
Staring at her handkerchief, Hermione felt her chest tightening with anger; her hands shook as she folded the white, square cloth, and returned it to her pocket, before she stood up and stomped her way out the compartment, eyes blazing as she searched each compartment she passed for a familiar blond head.
When she passed Malfoy's compartment, he'd looked up, an insult ready on his lips, only for him to cower to the corner at the feral look in her eyes.
Hermione was out for blood, and God may have mercy on anyone's soul if they tried to stop her.
The sound of familiar laughter drifted to the corridor from a compartment ahead of her, and she didn't hesitate when she reached it; slamming the door open, her eyes zeroed on the Head Boy, ignoring the rest of the occupants.
Cedric had frozen mid word, a hand raised in front of him as if he'd been in the middle of a story.
Well, tough luck.
Wyatt's smile turned to a frown when he caught sight of her murderous expression, and both Percy and Scott wisely kept any comments they wished to make to themselves when Hermione took a step in, reached out, grabbed a fistful of Cedric's tailored robes and yanked the taller boy up from his seat, effectively dragging him outside the compartment without once uttering a word.
"That was scary," Scott commented after he closed the door, staring at his friends with wide eyes. "Did you see the sparks in her hair? I thought she'd cursed Cedric on the spot!"
"She is one damn scary girl," Percy agreed, scratching his nose.
"I don't believe I have seen Hermione so angry since that article in the Prophet came out. And I trust you remember how that ended for Cedric, yes?"
They simultaneously flinched.
"Poor Ced."
"Ah, he brought it on his self." Scott waggled a finger at Percy's face. "He deserves whatever she does to him."
"So true."
"Dibs on his broom!"
"Hey, I called dibs on that broom ages ago!"
xxXxx
Cedric knew something was horrible wrong the moment he looked up and saw Hermione's eyes flashing murder at him; her anger was palpable, and when she'd reached out and grabbed him, he'd not resisted, instead choosing to follow her and see what had enraged her so.
Rarely he had seen her so angry; her amber eyes, usually warm, were sparkling with fury, her lips were pressed into a thin line, and her hair...
He didn't think he had ever seen a person whose hair vent their unchannelled magic the way Granger's curls did, but the sight of her with her bushy hair positively sparking with suppressed magic, and her cheeks flushed with her anger, made him appreciate her wild beauty even more.
He mentally slapped himself.
I'm such a pervert! She's probably planning where to hide my body, and all I can think about is how beautiful she looks when angered! There must be something wrong with me!
The sound of a door being slammed open brought him back to the present, and he widened his eyes when she unceremoniously pushed him in the Heads' compartment; he must have been really fazed out not to notice where she was leading him.
Hermione entered the compartment after him, slammed the door shut, and locked and silenced the room with short wand movements that showed she was out of patience.
He should have felt scared, Granger looked livid, but he was unintentionally impressed with her; the spells she used to ensure their privacy were very complex and not taught until the middle of fifth year.
Unconsciously, he thought that when she grew older, Hermione would be a formidable witch.
Interrupting his admiring thoughts, she poked his chest with a finger, her wand already secured in a wrist holster he had noticed her wearing in Grimmauld Place.
"What the Hell is wrong with you?" she snapped, managing to stare down her nose at him despite their one foot height difference. Quite an accomplishment.
"Pardon?" he asked while trying to figure out what he could have possible done in the two hours since they last saw each other.
"Don't 'pardon' me!" She jabbed her finger on his chest, her glare intensifying with each jab. "I spend the last hour consoling Cho! She's heartbroken! What is your problem? What did she ever do to you, to justify you treating her that way? You made her feel used! You made her doubt her self worth! When all she has done, is love you! Get your head out of your arse, and go apologise to her right this instant!"
He felt as if he'd been doused with a bucket of cold water; his temper flared up at the sound of Cho's name, and he glared at her.
"My relationship with Cho doesn't concern you," he stated, taking a step closer, towering over the petite witch. "Stay out of my business."
"Like you didn't make it your business to stick your nose in my relationship with Wyatt? You actually demanded I go out with him! I hadn't peg you for a hypocrite, Diggory!"
"That's different," he growled. "Wyatt's my best friend; Cho is nothing to you!"
"So what? Just because she's not my friend means I'm not allowed to care about her? You didn't see her! She was sobbing over you! Who do you think you are, taking advantage of her, and then tossing her aside when you had no further use of her?" she screamed in his face, her eyes prickling with angry tears. Jesus, why did she have to cry every time she was emotional?
"'Taking advantage of her'? I never took advantage of Cho!" he exclaimed, shocked at her words.
"Oh, really?" She crossed her arms, and regarded him with icy detachment. "Then pray tell, Diggory, how do you call you sleeping with her, and then ignoring her, treating her like trash? Do you call it love?"
His world came to a crashing halt as the significance of her words registered in his mind. She knew...
Oh, Merlin no.
"How do you know about that?" he asked, voice quiet, dispassionate.
She lifted her chin.
"Cho told me. She needed to talk, and I offered to hear," she answered back, defiantly.
A morose laugh escaped him, the irony of the situation not lost to him.
"Of course you did," he muttered softly, raising a hand to run through his tussled hair.
Hermione kept her eyes on him, suspicion making her vigilant; perhaps he was acting, pretending for her benefit in an attempt to earn her sympathy, but the sadness in his eyes was too deep, too real to be a pretence.
He really regretted his actions; that wasn't enough, of course not, but it was something.
Clearing her throat to gain his attention, Hermione found herself trapped in his gaze when he looked at her; the emotion is his eyes – such a dark grey, they looked like storm clouds, – was so raw, it reverberated inside her, closing up her throat.
"You should apologise," she repeated her earlier command, softly now, as she tried to regain her footing. He had shaken up her resolve, and she couldn't allow that, or she'd do something stupid. "Cho doesn't deserve this. No one deserves this."
This time, he was the one who broke eye contact, choosing to shift his stare to the window; dark was slowly descending as they passed through the country side, coming closer and closer to Hogwarts.
"How can I fix this?" he murmured, more to himself than anyone else. "How can I make this right, when I can't stop thinking about yo – another girl?" He faltered, but managed to save it; they both knew who he meant, there was no need to utter the word aloud. It'd only make things worse for them and they were already balancing on an edge. "I tried, you know... I tried to forget, to fall for Cho... But I can't. I can't, and it drives me mental!"
Her breath caught when he returned his stare on her, eyes alight with passion, desperation, and the pain he had kept hidden for so long, now naked for her to see. How long had he fought against himself, his feelings? How long had he kept the truth from her, himself?
"Even the thought of y – her... I can't..." He shook his head, eyes wild, hands trembling. "I can't forget, and I can't move on. But I can't have y – her! I know it, yet my heart breaks every time I see her, every time you are close to me, I die a little inside, because I want you, and I need you, and I dream of you, and I can't have you. How can I stay with Cho, how can I pretend, when the mere thought of you with another man physically hurts me? When all I can think about, all I can dream about, is you?"
She shook her head, trying to stop his words from penetrating her mind, to keep up the pretence of ignorance, but it was impossible; each softy spoken word was laced with pain and love, and it hurt her to hear them. It hurt to know, to finally have a confirmation that it was her; she was the one causing him all this pain, without meaning to. She was the reason he'd pushed Cho away; because he wanted her, because he loved her.
Not Cho.
Her.
Cedric stepped closer.
Breathing harsh and shallow, she shook her head in denial, and took a step back, her back bumping against the locked door; the emotions in his eyes – passion, love, pain, want, need, - weretoo much for her to handle.
He stepped closer.
Go, run! Her conscience shouted at her but she was rooted to the spot, pinned by his intense gaze, incapable of escaping what she knew was coming.
He closed the final distance between them.
"You buried yourself under my skin," he whispered, planting his hands on either side of her head, caging her against the door she had foolishly locked. She lowered her eyes, but he lifted a hand, and gently tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. "You're under my skin, and you've been torturing me for months. When I saw you with Krum..." His breath stuttered out, and he leaned closer, pressing his body against hers. Hermione bit the inside of her cheek to stop a whimper, her hands rising to press on his chest in an attempt to push him away, but he was too strong, and she didn't really want him to move. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"
His hand on her chin traced her cheek, cradling it as he panted, fighting to regain control; his other hand dropped to her waist, clutching her through her robes and shirt.
She whimpered, her hands fisting his robes; his eyes flashed.
"You are my damnation," his soft whisper fell on deaf ears as his lips crashed on her soft, pliable ones, forcefully parting them, and swiping his tongue inside her warm mouth, kissing her with a ferocity that shocked even him. He poured everything in that kiss; his anger, his hurt, his passion, his love, everything he felt, and had been forced to keep hidden, was now unleashed. He held nothing back, her whimpers encouraging him, and he buried a hand in her hair, grasping fistfuls of silky curls, guiding her head to a more comfortable angle for him.
He deepened the kiss, rejoicing when he felt her sigh her surrender, and started returning it, her warm tongue brushing his shyly, her body arching to press closer to his. When Hermione moaned softly, her nails biting into his flesh through his clothes, every thought of stopping flew out the window; he hadn't actually told her he loved her, he wasn't as brave as Wyatt, but he poured all his feelings in that kiss.
Lost in the exquisite ecstasy that was her kiss, Cedric forgot about Cho, about the upcoming war, about everything that wasn't Hermione.
One hand securely tangled in her curls, he slid the one on her waist behind her, and pressed it on the small of her back, aligning their bodies perfectly; Hermione didn't stay still. Keeping one hand fisted in his robes, she trailed her free one up his chest, to his face, and then buried it to his hair the way she had imagined doing dozens of times. Signs, and small whimpers fell from her lips, and he eagerly swallowed them all, nibbling on her bottom lip, and tracing her teeth with his tongue.
He growled when she took his bottom lip between hers, and gently nipped it, soothing the slight pain with her tongue; the hand on the small of her back dropped to her leg. He grabbed the back of her thigh, and hitched it around his hips, rocking his lower body to hers.
That woke her up from the pleasurable daze of his kiss.
What was she doing? Not an hour ago, his girlfriend had been crying over him, and she had been consoling her! And now here she was, snogging him!
She felt disgusted with herself.
Wrenching her lips from his, she freed her hand from his hair – silky soft, - and she forcefully pushed him away.
Cedric stumbled back, surprised, but managed to regained his footing before he fell on his arse; his eyes, burning with unbridled passion, burned her to her core. Her lips tingled, and she knew they were as swollen and tender as his appeared to be.
Both panting, they shook, although she doubted it was for the same reasons; desire coiled low in her belly, and she knew if she had allowed it, he'd have no issue with snogging her until they reached Hogwarts.
But she couldn't, shouldn't, allow it; not now, when there was a girl somewhere on this train, hurt because of him.
Shaking her head in silent refusal, she flicked her wrist and her wand slipped to her palm.
"Hermione," he breathed, voice husky; she fought down the shiver that ran down her spine at the audible need in his voice.
"Go to Cho," she ordered, trying for an emotionless tone, shakily cancelling the enchantments around the compartment, and opened the door. "Apologise. She deserves that much."
Without another word, she span around, and ran down the corridor as if afraid he'd go after her.
Cedric, heart hammering inside his chest, raised a hand to his lips; they tingled, her taste lingering on his tongue. A lonely tear ran down his left cheek as he stared blankly at the open door, before he wiped it away, and walked out, searching for a girl he had wronged many times.
He found her in a carriage near the middle of the train, surrounded by her friends; she looked awful. Her eyes were red rimmed, her face pale, and her smile brittle..
When he slid the door open, her friends threw poisonous glares at him, and Cho's eyes filled with fear, as if she sensed what was about to happen; Cedric cursed his idiocy for ever dragging her into the mess that was his life.
"Cho, we need to talk."