Chapter 25

By the time she reached their apartment Beth was still deciding how much, if anything, she was going to tell Jane. Jane looked up from her book on the couch when she entered. With a small smile Jane immediately got up and came over to hug her.

"I'm sorry Beth."

"Sorry for what? You didn't do anything." This is so not your fault, Jane.

"I just feel like something has been going on and I've done something that's made it hard for you to talk to me. So I'm sorry for whatever that something is. I want you to know that I'm here for you." It was just like Jane to try to take the blame for whatever situation was going on; she was always more concerned with fixing any situation than being right. In that moment, Beth knew she couldn't keep things from her sister anymore.

"It's not your fault. It's mine. I've been struggling with this whole Mr. Darcy situation. I won't lie, hearing you talk about Charles began to become hard for me but instead of talking to you about it, I tried to handle it on my own and it blew up in my face. So, I'm sorry for shutting you out."

"I'm sorry, Beth. Had I known, I wouldn't have said so—"

"No, stop. Seriously don't apologize. This is all on me. It is what it is and I just want to talk to you and let you know what's been happening and move forward," Beth cut her off and moved them both back over to the couch. "Ok, where to start. Well, the night that dad told Bill that Charles would be taking over the firm, Mr. Darcy caught me in the hall and kissed me again. After what you had told me, I won't lie that I was hopeful and excited and nervous to see him. I had played the scene out over and over again in my head and when he kissed me I really thought he was going to open up and everything was going to happen like I imagined. Well, obviously from our subsequent discussion at the table, that's not quite what happened." Beth finished her story of that evening to a shocked Jane, who tried again to take part of the blame for Beth's disappointment that night because it was her fault for getting her hopes up. "So it's really not your fault. I should have known how he would react but I've just never been so attracted to someone like this before and it just consumed me; I built my expectations up so high that reality was a hard fall short."

"I just can't believe he told you that he wanted you to leave him alone especially after what he said to me. I'm so sorry, Beth. I never would have told you if I thought he would be such a jerk about it afterward; he just seemed so sincere, like he couldn't help but tell me how he felt because it was all he was feeling." At this point, Jane was almost in tears for the role she had played in this scenario, beating herself up for being fooled by what must have been a miscommunication or a momentary delusion on his part. "I know all about how it feels to have your hopes up, only to have some guy crush them. I feel terrible that I put you in that position."

Beth reassured her, again, that it wasn't her fault and that she had insisted she tell her. Moving past that episode before Jane got too worked up, Beth told her how she decided to put the whole thing behind her, move on, and forget about Darcy; that she thought it was going really well until the email from Mrs. DeBourgh informing her that Darcy was Anne's date for the evening. She had lost something that she thought she hadn't wanted, but she was wrong and it had devastated her; that's why she stayed at the office that night.

"It's just so not like me, you know. I'm always the independent one - doesn't need anyone, doing my own thing, not distracted by my emotions. But since Darcy, all I can think about is him. I feel like his kiss flipped a switch inside me where all I want is to be with him. Looking at my life before him and the independence I was so proud of, now just seems lonely. Everything I've accomplished, I'm still proud of, but I feel like I'm missing someone to share in my successes, to push me to be better. Meeting him, kissing him, began to put cracks in my mindset on life and then thinking that I had lost him to Anne felt like my whole perspective came crashing down around me." This is how it always happened when she talked to Jane. She would start with what she thought she wanted to say and then all of a sudden the floodgates would open and she'd be able to finally articulate all of what she was feeling; the relief was indescribable.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. I wish I could have been there for you; I could have told you that it's ok to need other people in your life - present company included. It doesn't take away from you or your goals or successes. Now, I certainly don't have all the answers when it comes to that area, but I think that if you want to share your life with someone, it will only make you stronger," Jane asserted. "If you want my opinion though, they didn't really look like they were a couple though at the ball. I mean, certainly good friends, but nothing overly romantic. Not that I was paying a lot of attention to them." Here she blushed, obviously recognizing that she had been distracted with Charles the whole time.

"I know, but considering how Darcy treated me - someone he was at least remotely attracted to - I just figured that him being nice was the most you could expect if you were in a relationship with him," Beth said, drawing a laugh from her sister. "Plus, having to hear Mrs. DeBourgh talk about them and their future all night, especially once mom hinted at you and Charles getting engaged, just solidified it in my mind." Beth gave Jane a look as she mentioned their mother's assertion about her upcoming engagement.

Jane eyes moved downward and her hands began to fidget in her lap.

"Jane?" Beth raised her eyebrows at her sister when she remained curiously silent, her cheeks starting to turn red.

"Jane, did Charles propose? Are you engaged already?" Beth frantically asked her, to shocked to even finish telling her what happened after the ball.

"No, no. Not yet," Jane quickly reassured her. "But we talked about it, in hypothetical terms. He asked if I would consider marrying someone that I've only known for such a short time, but I don't want to talk about Charles if it's going to upset you."

"Oh my God! Jane! He wants to marry you! What did you say? You can't tell me that and then not say anything else."

"Well, I told him that it depended on the person but that I wouldn't strictly be against it. I would want to know a little bit more about the person, so maybe a longer engagement, but no, I wouldn't turn him, or someone, down just based on how long we've been together." Jane was clearly nervous about the conversation and its implications. She kept fidgeting with her hands and fingers and couldn't look Beth right in the eye as she spoke.

"Would you say yes? That's what I want to know!" Beth laughed, pushing her sister for a straightforward answer.

"I don't know. He hasn't asked." Jane tried to tiptoe around an answer but Beth gave her a glare. "Ok, alright, yes, if he asked I would say yes."

"Jane, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you! Oh my God!"

"Well, it hasn't happened yet, although dad said Charles asked to meet with him this afternoon, and we are supposed to be going to dinner tonight, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I really like him and I don't want the expectation of something that might not happen to ruin how I feel about him." She was clearly trying to talk herself down, but the excitement she felt was shining through.

"I can't believe this. He's crazy about you Jane, you should get your hopes up. Is that why mom said those things last night? Did you tell her all this?"

"No. Well, yes, it's why she probably made comments about an engagement but I didn't tell her. I think she saw Charles talking to me alone and then when we got back to the table, our conversation kind of continued on the topic of marriage which I'm sure she was trying to listen in on."

"Did she ask you about it after you left last night?"

"Well, no. That's the other thing. Charles brought me home last night." Jane's face turned beet red.

"OH MY GOD. What happened? Did he stay here?" Beth asked, astounded; she couldn't have in a million years pictured Jane having sex before marriage. They both had dated before and had done things, so they weren't completely innocent, but Jane wanted to save that type of intimacy for marriage and Beth, she had just never been attached or attracted enough to anyone to want that. Until Darcy.

"Oh, no. Absolutely not. Charles is a gentleman. He brought me home and then he just stayed for a little bit before leaving; he wanted to make sure I was ok after the drinks that I had had." Charles was really perfect for her.

"So, what happened? Did he kiss you? Stop avoiding the question," Beth prodded.

"I'm not! Yes, he kissed me. We did a lot of kissing, but that was it. I promise. You know I wouldn't have sex with someone without being married, especially with someone whom I've only known for such a brief time." Beth calmed down when she heard that her sister was still the same person she always knew her to be.

"Ok, ok. Well, how was it? Was it magical? Is he a good kisser?" By this point, Beth had completely forgotten about everything she had done last night; she was too wrapped up in her sister's story.

"I think so. I mean, I really liked it. I haven't kissed that many people, Beth." Jane rolled her eyes.

"You've kissed more than me, that's for sure."

"Well, he was definitely the best yet but that's all I'm going to say." With that secretive comment, Jane stood up and went into the kitchen to heat some water for tea.

"I just can't believe all this, Jane. I'm so happy for you." Beth stared after her sister.

"Thank you," she said shyly. "So what happened at the ball last night? I saw Char dancing with Bill; I hope you said something her her about that. Wait a minute, I also saw you dancing with Mr. Darcy as we were leaving! Something must have happened between dinner the other night and that."

Beth felt her face starting to heat, thankfully Jane was still in the kitchen where she couldn't see her.

"Well, apparently Char and Bill are dating now. I know, I was floored too, but that's what she told me this morning."

"What! That's crazy. I mean, awesome for her. I guess I don't know him well enough personally, only professionally. In spite of his quirks, he is a very nice guy, very much a gentleman." Jane could find goodness in the Grinch if she was given the opportunity. "What about Mr. Darcy though?"

Beth started the story slowly, deciding as she went how much to divulge. She began with how she tried to blow him off at the beginning of the evening, not wanting to put herself in a position to be hurt. She moved onto the bathroom scene and her brief conversation with Anne.

"I saw how they interacted, I wonder what George has done to make him so mad. He seems like a nice enough guy and Lydia really likes him, that's for sure."

"Lydia likes anyone who is good-looking and willing to give her the time of day." Beth rolled her eyes, thinking about how shallow her younger sister was.

"Beth!" Jane scolded her, "Did something else happen with him though? Mom called me this morning, mostly about Charles, but she asked if you or I had heard from George; she'd heard that something happened and wanted to make sure he was ok."

"Well, yeah. There's that too but I'll get to that later. So, I was really pissed that Darcy sent her to chase after me and warn me to avoid George. You can't just tell me that he is a bad guy and then not give me any reason to believe you. Especially if I'm just meeting you for the first time. So, I said that and left. Dinner was pretty uneventful, I was mostly stuck between mom and Mrs. DeBourgh the whole time, who said in no uncertain terms that Darcy and Anne were a couple."

"Is that when you starting choking? I was worried."

"Yep. After dinner though, Darcy asked me to dance - this was the first time - and I was about to say 'no' but then George came over and said that I had promised to dance with him. Since I was pretty drunk by that time and angry and Darcy for sending Anne after me, I figured what better way to annoy him than to dance with someone who he clearly hates; it probably wasn't the best idea, but it felt good at the time."

"Oh, Beth."

"I know, I know. So after that I managed to avoid him until the end of the night when he asked me to dance again. Well, I think I ran into him and started to fall; I wasn't very steady on my feet at that point in the evening and he asked me to dance, but since he was already holding me I think we just started dancing. That part is a little fuzzy still."

"Did he say anything?"

"No. Well, he said 'please' when he asked me to dance. I wasn't sure that word was in his vocabulary," Beth said wryly, continuing before Jane could comment, "As I was going to leave though, George came back over to us and said some inappropriate things to me; he was completely wasted though, I doubt he even remembers. Anyway, what he said really set Darcy off, so Darcy punched him."

"Oh my God, Beth! Is he ok? Why would he do that?" Jane was shocked.

"He's fine. Darcy had some of the hotel staff come over and take him to his room and I think he even had a doctor sent up to the room to check on him. I would be surprised if he remembers any of it," Beth finished knowing that she'd reached the point in the story where she had to take the leap and tell Jane everything. On a sigh, she heard her stomach grumble and, reaching for her phone asked Jane, "What time are you leaving for dinner?"

"Charles said he was going to pick me up around five o'clock."

Beth found her phone to check the time. It was almost four; they had been talking for almost three hours and her mom had just tried to call her three times.

"Did mom try to call you?" she yelled to Jane.

"I don't think so. My phone is on the coffee table, you can look."

Beth reached over and check the phone - no calls from their mom, just two texts from Charles. She had a twinge of frustration that she had no way of contacting Darcy and that he hadn't gotten in touch with her yet. He had to have gotten her note by now.

"You have two messages from Charles."

"Ok! I'll be right there."

Beth dialed her mom, wondering why she was the only one to be repeatedly called.

"Beth! Thank God. Why didn't you answer your phone? Are you with Jane? Is she ok?" her mom answer frantically.

"What? Yes, we were hanging out and I didn't realize that it was ringing. She's fine, why? What's wrong?"

"It's Charles."

"Is he ok? What happened?" Beth's face immediately fell in worry over their friend. Jane came back into the room with tea at that moment and saw the look of concern on her face. Jane quickly reached for her phone to read what he had sent.

"Yes, he's fine. Well, physically, but not mentally apparently. Your father just told me that the whole deal is on hold and that Charles is going back to Boston for the indefinite future."