Chapter Twenty Five: It's About Forgiveness

Ren arrived just after the last of the dinner rush went home and sat at the counter a bit away from the few regulars who stayed until almost close. He ordered the special and water, and as he ate listened to Kyoko as she chatted with the various customers. He was pleased that they were all fairly respectful of her, treating her with courtesy rather than with greasy come-ons. Kyoko made a point of bringing him his food and checking in as he slowly ate. Once there were only a few people left, Taisho and Okami joined him at the counter on the kitchen side, and Kyoko took a seat to his left.

If his own parents were there, Ren thought absently, this might be an omiai.

"So you wish to date Kyoko," began Taisho. "What do you bring to this relationship?"

"Dear," said Okami.

"It's a reasonable question," said Taisho, unmoved.

"If you mean materially," said Ren, "I have a pretty steady job, I own my apartment and my car outright and I have quite a bit in savings and investments. If you mean personally… I love Kyoko. Maybe it's too soon in our dating relationship to say that, but I have known her for a while and I love her. I have my problems, I know that."

"I'm glad to know that you acknowledge that you are not perfect," said Okami.

"Having flaws is part of being human," said Ren.

"And you, Kyoko," said Taisho. "What are you bringing to this relationship?"

"In a few months I'll have my high school diploma," said Kyoko, "and I have a job that's pretty steady. I'm optimistic and I think I have a good attitude towards life. I know that I can be an emotional mess sometimes. But I love Ren. And I want this to work."

"You love me?" said Ren.

"That doesn't count!" protested Kyoko. "when I'm ready and it's right, I'll tell you properly."

"Fine, fine," said Ren, pouting slightly. "I suppose you have a point."

"So you both bring your history with you," said Taisho. "I do not need a detailed life story from you, Tsuruga. That should be for Kyoko. Where do you want this to go?"

"Ideally, and only if she wants to, I'd like to marry Kyoko," said Ren. "But we'll see. I think we have a long way to go as a couple before we get to that point."

"I think so too," said Kyoko. "I'm only eighteen. I think that we need to go through a lot of things together before we talk about getting married."

"At the very least, I should do the high school equivalency exam," said Ren. "I'd like to know what Kyoko is talking about when she makes a point about history or is frustrated with math."

"I would be happy to help you with learning those things," said Kyoko.

"And I still want to learn them from you," said Ren. "Maybe we could look into information about that together?"

"I believe that getting the equivalency will help you with your career," said Okami. "You will understand the context of your historical dramas better, knowing what happened before and what will happen after."

"Yes," said Ren. "I think so too. There's so much I don't know about Japan's history."

"Not your best subject, I take it?" said Taisho.

"I wasn't a very dedicated student," admitted Ren. "But I think that's changed. I'm more interested in learning now. And I know that if Kyoko wanted to pursue a university degree, I would support her to the best of my ability."

"Maybe later in my life," said Kyoko. "For now, I want to finish high school and become a great actress."

"Boundaries," said Taisho. "I am going to set my boundary right here. There will be no more sleepovers until Kyoko is twenty. I will not have anyone speak ill of her, or believe they have reason to."

"That is probably a good idea," said Ren. "While I do have a guest room, people are unlikely to assume that Kyoko uses it."

"Very true," said Okami.

"I am also going to say that we need to take things very slow," said Kyoko. "I'm not – I don't have a lot of romantic experience. I want to take things slow and savour everything."

"Okay," said Ren. "I accept that. I don't want to do anything that you might be uncomfortable with. You being comfortable is important to me. While I've dated, I've never really loved those girls and I want to have those moments like it's the first time for me too."

"May I suggest that more of your dates be public than private?" said Okami. "Not because of publicity, but because it will be a change from your friendship, and if I'm honest, will provide chaperonage that isn't intrusive. We like you, Tsuruga, but that does not change that Kyoko is like a daughter to us, and we want to protect her."

"Do not take up all of her time," advised Taisho. "Girls need their friends as much as men do, if not more. And I would suggest maintaining your own life as well."

"I'm going to try," said Ren. "It will be a new thing for me. I've never really had friends, not since I moved to Tokyo, anyway."

"You cannot isolate yourself forever," said Okami. "Even the islands of Japan form a community together, though they are separate."

Ren nodded, turning what had been said over in his mind. "I am afraid."

"What is it?" asked Kyoko.

"I'm afraid of losing people, especially you," said Ren. "I don't know how I would cope if I lost you and it was my fault. I'm scared to be close to others because they might leave and I'll get hurt."

"I'm not going anywhere," said Kyoko gently. "And neither is Yashiro. We'll be here as you make friends, and we'll support you when you struggle."

"I don't think I'm a good person," said Ren. "I'm so scared that you're going to find someone better than me. Someone who isn't as dark as me."

"I think you are," said Kyoko. "And I want to learn your dark as well as your light. I've seen bits of it, right? So I think that together we can handle the darkness in both of us. I can be vengeful and cruel, you know I can. We'll learn together."

"Someone died because of me," whispered Ren. "I don't know – I still don't know how to deal with that. I'm scared that you'll die too because of me. I want you to be safe."

"Ren, look at me," said Kyoko. He turned his head and looked at her through his bangs. "I know you. I know that you would do literally everything in your power, and a few things that aren't, to keep me safe. I don't know what happened, but I know that you would have tried to save them if you could have."

"I did," said Ren. "I didn't know enough."

"Maybe we could take a first aid class together?" suggested Kyoko. "I don't know enough about injuries either. It could help."

Okami smiled at the couple. "That sounds like a wonderful idea. Dear?"

"In light of that," said Taisho, "what do you expect from each other?"

"Honesty, respect and communication," said Ren.

"And devotion and honouring each other," added Kyoko. "There are things that are very different about us. It's important that we accept those differences."

"Since you seem to have thought out what your relationship should be," said Taisho, "you have my blessing."

"And mine," said Okami. "Stay and talk for a little while we close up the shop." Okami and Taisho stood and began the process of closing their store. Kyoko leaned against Ren and sighed.

"That was scary," said Kyoko.

"It was," said Ren, burying his face in her hair. "I almost forgot before I came here that your Taisho was an expert with knives."

Kyoko huffed a laugh. "So am I, Ren."

"And I am intimidated every time I see you use them," said Ren. "I'm always impressed by your skill set."

"Is that why you eat what I cook for you?"

"I eat your cooking because it's good and you don't pressure me once I start eating."

"I'm glad that you like my food," said Kyoko. She was quiet for a moment. "Ren? Can I ask about the person who died? You can say no, it's okay."

Ren breathed for a moment. "He was my best friend. I got in a fight, got angry and when the people I was fighting ran away, I ran after them and one of them got a car and tried to run me down. He pushed me out of the way. I couldn't stop the bleeding, and then his girlfriend shoved me away and wouldn't let me touch him. He died on the pavement, the paramedics said."

"It sounds like you had a lot of the same values," said Kyoko. "He must have really cared about you if he protected you like that."

Ren was quiet for a moment. "He did."

"We'll go to the temple together and say some prayers for him, okay?" said Kyoko. "Not tonight, but maybe the next time we have time together? You won't forget him."

"I won't," said Ren. "Thank you, Kyoko. I should do that."

Ren turned the conversation to other topics, and Kyoko eagerly talked about her friends, her schooling and her work. Ren listened to her, a little envious of her full life. He'd have to make the effort to know Kanae Kotonami, as it seemed that they were both important to Kyoko and she should have a good support network. He should build himself a support network. It would take time, but it would be worth it.

Okami closed the blinds and flicked the open sign off. Ren took this as his cue to leave, though he could have stayed there all night if sleep deprivation wasn't something that was immediately obvious on him. Makeup would throw a fit if he showed up to work with huge bags under his eyes. Still, he stood and Kyoko walked him to the back door.

"I'm glad that we got to talk," said Kyoko. "It means a lot to me that we did."

"It means a lot to me too," said Ren. "We'll talk more the next time we have a date."

"I'd like that," said Kyoko. She leaned up and kissed him shyly on the corner of his mouth, and he turned his head slightly to press his lips against hers. They kissed for a few minutes, each one feeling like an eternity in a heartbeat, before Taisho coughed.

"I'll message you when I get home," Ren assured her. "Goodnight Taisho, Okami. I'll see you again soon."

"Please, come visit us," said Okami. Ren bowed, kissed Kyoko again and went out to his car, where he sat until the light went on in Kyoko's room. He drove home, a mix of happiness, relief and grief sitting in his chest. He'd sort through it later, but for how he was going to let himself be happy, just this once.