There's not really much I can say about why this hasn't been updated in such a very long time. I guess I've been a little lost for what feels like forever. I started to through myself into my degree and as my writing time dwindled I thought that it was ok because I was working towards something that would bring me satisfaction in my life. Needless to say, it didn't. And every day I started to feel more and more like something was missing. I thought that if I wasn't writing something that I could one day make a career out of, then there wasn't much point. (My mum places a high worth on 'careers'). But I've continued to get your reviews and each time I read a new one it kept me going for a little longer. So I want to make some time for writing again. I guess this is me trying to get that little, but important, bit of myself back again. I'm not sure if I can get Leighton's voice back again. As I'm older and she's older. But I still have my ideas for the last book. And they were great/huge/heartbreaking ideas. But first I had to finish this one off. So here it is. My trial at being back. I hope it brings you all some closure. Thanks for all your support. I'm truely sorry for letting you all down.

Chapter 24.

"she just feels like there's something she needs to protect. Some larval understanding, something cocooned inside her, that seems to get unspun and exploded with each passing year…that's the way to do it, the grown up voices whisper. Wear your skeleton on the inside out, and keep your insect heart secret."

— Karen Russell, St. Lucy's Home For Girls Raised By Wolves

I touched my hand lightly to Jacob's chest, feeling rise and fall with every breath he took. His warmth flowed up arm and somehow dulled the ache in my chest. The past week had taken its toll on him. The fighting and then the aftermath hadn't given anyone much reason to smile lately. The funeral was particularly hard. The Quileute's had given Embry a traditional farewell and it was as heartbreaking as it was beautiful.

But now as he slept he seemed peaceful, the frown lines that seemed to be becoming a constant part of his face had disappeared, and after endless sleepless nights and nightmares he had finally slept right through to morning.

I knew more than anyone that there could never be a timeline for grieving. There wasn't a particular time when it suddenly got easier to get out of bed, or when it felt ok to laugh again. Not when you lost someone this close to you. Not when they were as special as Embry.

But without any thoughts of Victoria or threats from vampires things had been quiet. Things were feeling closer to normal.

I slowly took my hand of Jacob's chest and carefully pulled back the sheets, trying to be careful not to wake him as I slid out of bed. As soon as my back was turned I felt a strong hand on my wrist holding me back.

"Where are you going?" Jacob mumbled, he didn't open his eyes, but I could see the playful smile on his lips.

"No where?" I smiled, and Jacob pulled the sheets back up, right over our head – creating a tent of blankets. He rolled over and kissed my nose in the dark.

"How about Hawaii?"

I frowned at him in the dark. "What are you talking about?"

"Hawaii. It's a state of America. It's out in the ocean somewhere. A tropical island paradise."

I could see his goofy smile in the dark and it felt like being reunited with an old friend.

"I know what Hawaii is." I laughed. "I wanted to know why you were talking about it."

"You were planning a holiday there. Before –" He stumbled for a second.

Before Embry was killed. The thought hung between us like a veil of sadness.

"-everything happened." He continued. "I saw the trip planner on the fridge. It leaves in a few days. I we should still go."

That idea seemed like a thousand years ago. It belonged to a different world. A world with Embry in it.

"I don't think so Jacob –" I started but he cut me off with a kiss.

"I wasn't asking you," he laughed. "We should still go. So we're going."

"Jake," I groaned. "There's so much to still organize. We have things to do here. We have commitments. You have to be with the pack. Someone has to look after Collin. Bella still needs my support."

I could see Jacob rolling his eyes.

"We don't have commitments" he laughed. "There's nothing going on around here anymore. I've already worked it out with Sam for us to have the time off. It will be fine sweetie."

He gently pushed my hair out of my eyes.

"I could use a holiday….." I mumbled, as Jacob lightly kissed down my neck.

"Mmmm," Jacob nodded his agreement without taking his lips from my skin.

"What did you mean by Sam is giving "us" time off?" I asked, as my fingers seemed to walk themselves across Jacob's body.

"Collin's coming too." He hesitated for a second. "and Seth…"

"What?" I stopped moving for a second.

"Sam wanted us to take them - they've taken everything really hard. Sam wants them to get out of Forks for bit but he wants them to go with someone responsible."

"You're not responsible," I laughed.

"I think he meant you," Jake smiled. "So is it ok?"

"It's ok," I sighed. I had so much more work to do now. "So much for a romantic getaway."

Jacob feigned shock. "It could still be romantic," He continued his path of kissing down my neck and for a moment I was overcome with my desire for him. His musky smell and warm body took me to another place. Where no one was missing, or gone, or lost. Where it was just us two, hidden in an ocean of blankets.

A few days went by quickly. I felt like I was always busy, calling someone or booking something. Jacob and the boys didn't help much with the arrangements. With all of the threats a distant memory Sam had taken all the pack off vampire duties and had them all hanging out together. They needed to establish themselves as a pack without Embry.

We were driving to Seattle. The car was loaded up with suitcases filled with bathing suits and summer clothes. I had to spend considerable amount of time convincing Seth that he did in fact need clothes. Jacob was driving and Collin and Seth were crammed into the back seat. We had driven less than two blocks when Collin started to complain.

"Are we there yet?" he winged as Seth burst into laughter, spitting the soda he had in his mouth. "My legs are cramping."

I joined in with their laughter, ignoring Collin's complaints, and it felt natural. It felt ok.

We were making a quick stop in at the Cullen's so that I could say goodbye to Bella. She had been the one helping me put together every detail of the trip and it felt good to spend some quality time with her again. Away from problems and danger.

Bella and Edward were waiting for me on the steps when I arrived. They were sitting in the exact same spot where Embry and I had sat. And for a second it took the wind from me, but I was expecting it too, since it did it every time I came back to the Cullens.

"Hi," Bella smiled as I got out of the car. She waved over to Jacob who was already trying to wrestle Seth in the back seat. "So you're finally going!"

I looked at her suspiciously. She looked happy. Glowing even. I looked over at Edward who also looked more glowing than usual, which was strange, considering it was a sunny day and he was sparkling in the sunlight.

"What's going on?" I asked as I pulled Bella into a friendly hug.

"Nothing!" she laughed, which made me even more suspicious.

I look back and forth between the two of them.

"We're –" Edward began, but he was cut off by Bella attempting to stand on his foot. Instead she tripped over his leg and began to fall down the steps before Edward straightened her up quickly.

"I'm not ready to tell anyone," she hissed at him through gritted teeth.

I raised an eyebrow at them. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Keep your secrets then. I'm going to Hawaii."

"Have fun." Bella smiled, but it looked painful.

"I will," I smiled. Bella looked at me with a pained expression. I gave her another quick hug and began down the stairs.

"Leighton!" Bella shouted after me when I half way to the car. I turned around. "Make sure you're back before my birthday."

"I will be," I laughed. I'd already told her that. We had a big mourning ceremony planned for the occasion.

"No, I mean, you need to be back for my wedding. I want you to be my maid of honor."

I smiled broadly.

"I'll be there. I promise."