Chapter 25: What Not To Say When Mom's Giving Birth
Written by: Kawaii-babi
Edited by: Help please?

This chapter's inspiration came from a game we played in improv today. So… yeah… Thank you all for being so warm about my hip comment. Someone in my class was like 'you didn't do your work because of your hip? You're a fucking retard!' and then walked away. Some people are suck fucktards! Anywho… The pain has gone away and I'm so glad it's not appendicitis.

Tonik2255: Danny's not going to have a reaction because Danny won't know because Flack won't tell him because he knows he's going to get his ass kicked if he does.

Susan (won't bother with e-mail, so I'm just calling you Susan): You're only too young if you're 13 and under. Don't ask how I know. Flack is awesome!

Mitsi1819: No… Flack is happy with his cookies! Energy is contagious!!

Madison Bellows: yep… reaction. LOL

Bluehaven4220: Be glad I even wrote 3 words…

CrAzyChIc22: no reaction because Flack is scared of Danny

Poorrani: I love your ideas, chica!

Now…

ON

WITH

THE

FIC!

"Dad, we're going to run over this one more time." Evangeline said, plopping herself down on the couch. Danny sighed.

"Evan… I think we've run over it enough… I'm going to be fine." Danny said reassuringly. Evangeline glared at him.

"Yeah… what was it you said when mom gave birth to me?" Evangeline asked. Danny looked down at the floor and mumbled something incoherent. "What was that?" Evangeline asked. Danny sighed. "Are we going to be able to have sex ever again." Danny said flatly. Evangeline stifled a laugh. "Exactly. Now… let's run over this one more time. Daddy, what shouldn't you say to mom when she gives birth to the twins?" Evangeline asked. Danny pondered for a moment. "By the way, our medical insurance expired yesterday. Holy shit! Is that a penis or a spaghetti noodle? Why did you forget to take your pill? My hand feels numb. Jesus is cute! My other wife is having a baby, so I've got to go. Are you sure that they're mine? Eww! It's naked! Are we going to be able to have sex ever again?" Danny listed. Evangeline smiled. "Good! Now… what shouldn't you do?" Evangeline asked. "Faint." Danny said proudly. Evangeline grinned the famous Messer grin. "Congrats! You have passed 'what not to say when mom's giving birth' 101." Evangeline said proudly, patting her dad on the back. Danny grinned. "Evan… it's getting late, sweetie. Go to bed, and I'll wake you up if your mama goes into labor, okay?" Danny asked. Evangeline plopped back down on the sofa. "But… I'm not… tired." Evangeline said, suppressing a yawn. Danny grinned. "Come on." Danny said. Evangeline crossed her arms and shook her head. Danny sighed and picked her up and potato sacked her. Evangeline shrieked and giggled. "Lemme down!" Evangeline yelled. Danny smacked her bottom playfully. "Nuh-uh! Not until you promise that you'll go to bed." Danny said. Evangeline went into full drama mode. "NEVER! I SHANT NOT SAY SUCH THING!" Evangeline said over-dramatically. Danny sighed and set her down on the couch. "Say it." Danny said warningly. Evangeline glared. "Never." She said coldly. Danny grinned mischievously and put his hand on her side. "Your funeral." Danny said, and then he started tickling her. Evangeline shrieked and giggled. "AH! STOP IT! I PROMISE THAT I'LL GO TO BED!" Evangeline yelled. Danny grinned. "Now, was that so hard?" Danny asked. Evangeline glared. "Yes." She said coldly, and then walked up the stairs to her room. CSINYCSINYCSINY "Mommy… I has to go potty." Thomas Trevor Taylor said, shaking his mom's leg. Peyton took her head out of her pillow and looked at him. "Didn't you say you were going to be a big boy and go potty by yourself from now on?" Peyton asked. Thomas Trevor bit his lip and looked at his feet. "I hearded a noisy in the bafroom." Thomas Trevor said shyly. Peyton looked at Mac, who was snoring loudly and sighed. "Come on… let's go find out what the 'noisy' was." Peyton said, grabbing her bathrobe and putting it on, following her son to the bathroom to investigate. "You know, you should be asking daddy to help you. He's the CSI." Peyton informed Thomas. Thomas looked up at his mom. "But daddy doesn't wake up. He just snores and talks about waffles." Thomas said. Peyton laughed quietly and opened the bathroom door, listening for any noises. She heard a soft 'thud' and some shuffling, and then she closed the door as quietly as possible. "Thomas. Go wake daddy up. Tell him that it's an emergency." Peyton said nervously. Thomas nodded and ran as quickly as his little feet would carry him to his parents' room while Peyton grabbed an umbrella from the umbrella stand. A few moments later, Thomas returned with Mac in his boxers, holding his gun tightly. Before Mac could say anything, the door creaked open to reveal…. "Hi auntie Pey-pey." Kyla-Marie said, rubbing her eye. Peyton stifled a laugh and Mac set his gun down on the table. "Hi Kyla." Peyton said, leaning into Mac. "Did you know she was sleeping over?" Peyton asked. Mac shrugged. "Nope…" Mac said, putting his arm around his wife's waist. The end. Yes… I put some Peyton/Mac in here! Sorry if you hate that couple… I think that they're so cute! Don't kill me please! Next chapter: Lindsay has the twins. But I need you guys to tell me: What stupid thing should Danny say to Lindsay while she's giving birth? I need your suggestions so that I can continue writing!

Kawaii-babi