Chapter Twenty-Five
Rachel POV
"Come on, Finn. You'll be okay." I say at the gate. He's got his bag over his shoulder and he's holding Chris for dear life. "It's only two days." I say for the fourteenth time today.
He pouts and kisses Chris's cheek and whispers something too low for anyone to hear with all the chatter around us. He hands Chris to Noah who is standing behind me and gives him a fist bump. "Take care of them for me."
"I will." Puck says kissing Chris's forehead.
"We both will." Sam says from my other side. I can see Finn resisting the urge to roll his eyes at Sam. He really needs to stop with this. Sam is basically my brother at this point. He can't carry on with this. But, I can tell he's trying.
I collapse into his arms, I've been trying not to show weakness but I can't help a tear from falling down my cheek when I realize he's leaving. Even if it is just two days. That's two nights too. We haven't spent a night apart since Chris has been gone. I wipe my tear before looking up at him, "I love you." I whisper. "Go make me proud."
He gives me his award winning lopsided grin and wipes the remaining liquid on my face away with his thumb before leaning in to give me a kiss, that turns into about 12 before I pull away. "Go!" I say giving him one last embrace. "Before you miss your flight."
He smiles at all of us and starts to run into security. I'm laughing at how funny he looks. He stops in his tracks as if he's forgotten something and turns around quickly "I love you." He yells at me.
I mouth 'I love you more' back at him and take Chris into my arms. We stand there for a just a couple more minutes before making our way out to Puck's big SUV that Kurt looks so awkward in.
"Took you long enough." Kurt says as I jump in the back and buckle Chris in.
"Shut it, Kurt." Puck says before booting him out of the front seat and making him and Blaine sit in back and insisting that I take the front seat.
"Where is Quinn today?" I ask. "Don't you normally go to the gym together on Sundays?"
"I told her I was busy being a God Father for the next couple days." Puck say with a shrug.
The rest of the day is spent spring cleaning the house and trying to think of song ideas. Mr. Schue says the best place to write from is from a place a hurt and I'm in pain now. I miss Finn. It's hard knowing that he's not just 15 minutes away. I can call him and he'll be there. He's in New York, making sure we can get there. I know this. Just after I feed Chris around lunch time and put him down for his afternoon nap, which seems like that's all he does, Kurt knocks on the door. I open it and put my finger over my mouth telling him to be quiet, grab the baby monitor and walk with him up the stairs to the living room.
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Puck and Sam are back." Kurt says pointing to the kitchen where I see my two favorite people making themselves right at home, making themselves sandwhiches and eating the brownies I had made for dinner.
"Guys." I moan, even though I don't really mind that much. I just bake so much because it calms me. And I always feel stressed ever since Chris was born. Maybe it's because I feel this lack of control that I crave in everything I do. And I can't control him. I can't control what happens to him, or anything. "That was for dinner." I say stomping up the stairs.
"Yeah, well make more." Puck says back and hands me a brownie. I sigh before I take it.
"She's going to need more then one." Kurt says, before I have a chance ask why Sam is handing me two more brownies and Kurt is turning me to face him. I notice Blaine is sitting on the stairs awkwardly. "Diva, I've got some great news. But you might take it the wrong way."
"Kurt. You're freaking me out." I say before Puck stuffs a bite of brownie in my mouth and I begrudgingly chew it. "Okay what?" I say with my mouth full. Which is very unlike me, but I'm getting impatient.
"Blaine and I are moving to San Francisco together." He smiles at me widely.
I smile back, "That's amazing." I say before feeling the real shock of what he said in my gut. "Oh." I say, just once before stuffing another bite into my mouth and I feel Sam's arm around me.
"Blaine got into a great school there, and so did I. It's a great oppurtunity for both of us, and-" he trails off and breaths out.
"We don't want to be apart." Blaine interjects finally showing his face in the kitchen.
I nod but they have to be able to see my sad eyes. "I am really happy for you." I say sincerely, "I'm just going to miss you."
"That went better then expected." Puck says sitting on the counter.
"Shut it, Puckerman." I yell.
"There is the reaction I was expecting." Puck says with a smile.
I reach up to hug Kurt and Blaine after many more congratulations and mulling over the details of whether they'll be living in dorms or getting an apartment together off campus I finally realize it, "Wait, does Finn already know?"
Puck snorts, "Nope."
Kurt looks at me with wide eyes, "You've got to help me break it to him. I know he was depending on knowing people in New York." He says grabbing my hand. Suddenly, I hear Chris screaming at the top of his lungs from the baby monitor.
"I'll get him" Sam says, rinsing his hands off quickly in the sink before heading down the stairs.
"He's going to be heart broken" I whisper.
Kurt cringes, "I know."
"Shh, Chris, Shhh! Mamma and Uncle K are having a very important conversation about how your Daddy is going to have a shit fit." I hear Sam's voice in the baby monitor and Puck busts into laughter.
"Did he really just say 'shit-fit' to my 2 month old son?" I say looking around. "That happened, right?"
Kurt and Blaine are trying to contain their laughter and Blaine can't any longer. Finally I give in. I'm doubled over in no time trying to speak but no words are coming out, "shit-fit?" I say again. "Really?" I say between laughter.
I turn off the baby monitor before I hear any more ridiculousness coming from it and I'm kind of grateful for Sam. He made me laugh, and all this commotion is making me forget how much I miss Finn.
After a couple hours of talking about how to break the news to Finn, and me making another batch of brownies, Carole and Burt get home with all the fixings for a BBQ. Sam and Puck are elated and they help Burt grille while Carole and I make the side dishes and Kurt and Blaine play with Chris.
With all this constant company around me if really is hard to miss Finn. But, I still do.
Later that night, while Sam is giving Chris a bath I get decide to sort my closet to keep my hands busy and I get a text from Finn.
"I'm safe, in bed. Watching SportsCenter. Missing you."
"Had a busy day with the boys and your parents. I miss you more then words can describe."
"Wish you were here. How's my little monkey?"
"He's good. Sam is giving him a bath."
":( That's my job."
"Don't worry, it's still your job. Just has a substitute for a minute."
"Don't let Sam take any of my other jobs. ;)"
"Finn Hudson! Not in a million years."
I realize that I'm not doing anything but sitting on the bed waiting for Finn's texts when Puck walks in to say goodbye, "Oh this is what we call cleaning the closet?"
"I got distracted." I say reaching up to hug him.
"Ew, don't sext."
"I wasn't!" I say truthfully.
"Sure, Sure." Puck says with a wave. "See you tomorrow my little jewish Princess." He laughs and sticks his head in one last time "and a dirty princess at that."
I laugh and throw a pillow at him before going upstairs to find Sam. "Almost done."
"All done." He says handing me a clean baby wrapped in a towel with frogs on it. "Thanks for letting me give him a bath, I know I'll never get the chance to with Finn around."
"Yeah, he's a little cut and dry with his responsibilities." I say kissing Chris's head lightly and smelling his fresh and clean skin. "Thank you, though."
"Of course." He tickles Chris's belly and kisses my cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow."
The next day goes by quickly. I drop Chris off to spend the day with Daddy and Dad and I do homework in between classes to keep myself busy.
"Headed to Glee. Miss you though."
"Headed to practice. Miss you more."
Quinn sings a soft love song to Noah and Sam rolls his eyes and leans over to Mercedes to tell her she sang that to him while they were dating. Mr. Schue gives us the weeks assignment. "Favorite Artist." And everyone is so excited. I text Finn the assignment and to work on it if he can. Everyone knows mine. Barbra. I try to think of a song I haven't already sang for the club that she's sang.
Mrs. Pillsbury burst in the door in a huff. "Emma. What is wrong?" Mr. Schue asks walking up to her and she walks past him and directly to me.
"Rachel, you Dad called. Chris is sick."
My world feels like it's crashing down on me and I can't think there is so much chatter around me and hands on my back urging me to get up. I feel someone grabbing my hand and pulling me but I'm in a daze. It isn't until I'm in Noah's car that I realize what is going on. "What?" I almost scream.
"Didn't you hear Mrs. P?" Noah asks holding me hand.
"I-I-I don't know." That feeling of control, whatever little bit I had left is gone. I feel sick. I need my son. I need Finn. Oh, God. Finn. He's going to flip his lid. "Tell me what she said."
"Chris has a high fever. Your Dad took him to the emergency room because it wouldn't break."
A fever? A fever? Had he felt hot this morning? I can't remember. I'm a terrible mother. "Okay. Okay. What do I do?" I ask Noah with wide eyes that are welling up with tears.
"Let's just get there." Noah says to me, still holding my hand.
Once we're at the hospital I run into the ER and see my Dad immediately. He's biting his nails. "Where is Chris?" I ask taking his hand away from his mouth.
"They are down the hall."
I run to the area My Dad pointed and Daddy is standing next to the small incubator that Chris is in. "They are doing tests, and trying to cool him down."
I can't help but feel tears fall down my face, "Mamma's here, baby." I say to Chris through the glass.
After what feels like an eternity the nurse comes to tell us the fever is an indication that Chris has an ear infection. They've given him antibiotics and they'll know they are working when the fever has gone down.
She takes him out of his glass crib and gives him to me and he does feel very hot. But Daddy ensures me that it's less then it was. After a couple hours they let us go home with a couple prescriptions and ideas how to keep him cool.
Noah takes us home and Carole takes Chris. "I was worried sick about you, babyboy." She says hugging and kissing him.
"He's sleepy." I say. "He's on some medication. So, if he seems odd, that's why."
I feel like a zombie. Noah is there with me, his arm around me the whole time. He's been very attentive and I'm grateful. But, Finn still doesn't know. What do I say to him. I feel the phone vibrate in my hand. "It's Finn." I say, holding up the phone to show Noah. "I need to tell him."
"Hey baby." I say with a shaky voice.
"Babe. They loved me. I'm getting a full scholarship for me and Chris. Baby! Aren't you proud? Baby? Say Something."
"That is amazing Finn." I say honestly. "I knew you could do it."
"I'll be back tomorrow night. Are you going to be at the airport to pick me up?"
"Of course. What do you have to do tomorrow?" I ask trying to figure out what I will ruin for him once I tell him about Chris's ear infection.
"Oh, just the tests for class placement."
"Okay, I have to give Chris a bath. I love you, Finny. I'll see you tomorrow." I say quickly.
"You okay, babe? You seem a little..."
"I'm great." I lie. "I just need to give Chris his bath. It's getting late." I muster up the fakest smile ever. "I am so proud of you."
"I couldn't have done any of this without you, Rach. I love you."
"Bye." I say before hanging up the phone.
Carole and Noah are staring at me with wide and confused eyes. "He has to take his tests tomorrow, if I told him he'd rush home. And there is nothing he can do. All he will do is sit and worry."
Carole nods, "I understand, sweetie." She says pulling me in to hug me. "Chris will be fine." I hug her and notice Chris is out cold. I feel his face and the heat seems to be dropping. I pick him up from Carole's arms, "I'm going to take him to sleep." I say as I walk downstairs. I feel Noah following me and I don't stop him. I really don't want to be alone. I lay Chris down in his crib and blow on his face a little, as if that would help cool him down. I take off his shirt so he is just in a diaper hoping that will help too.
"Turn around, Noah." I say as I get into my pajamas. Not the ones I wear when Finn is around. I put on big sweat pants that Finn will wear to football practice and one of his white shirts that I got from the laundry. It smells like him. Noah turns around and hugs me again and I feel myself crying into his shirt. I collapse into him and he sits us on my bed. I cry and cry until no more tears can come out.
"Shhhh! It's okay, Rach. It'll be okay." He says over and over until finally I cry myself to sleep.