Hehe… sorry x.x For two reasons. First that it took me this long to update (soccer tryouts all week…) and second, well…

You'll see :K But I'm evil.

Max POV

"Well, that was a bust," said Iggy.

"I'm gonna kill those ghost things!" Nudge said. "Do they have any idea how nerve wrecking it is for a bird kid to run around underground?"

"What a waste," Gimli grumbled. Suddenly, Gazzy gave a sharp yell and doubled over, clutching his head and stomping angrily.

"Gazzy!" I cried. "What's wrong?"

"I lost the game!" he moaned. (A/N: Go ahead and kill me :3 ) Nudge let out an angry shriek, Fang crushed a dirt clod in his hand, and Iggy swore loudly.

"I lost the game," we chorused halfheartedly.

"Pardon?" said Legolas.

"Ah!" Aragorn yelled.

"What, you know about the game?" I said in disbelief. "No way!"

"No, ah!" Aragorn pointed at the walls, which I noted with disgust were constructed by hundreds of skulls. Skulls that were cracking and coming loose…

"Out!" I ordered. "Double time!"

We started to run towards the exit, but the skulls were raining down on us like hundreds of little missiles. We had to climb over a mound to reach the exit. Well, Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn had to climb over a mound. The Flock just flew, dodging skulls as they tried to knock us out of the air. Thankfully, we made it – barely, though.

We emerged into the sunlight, gasping for breath and exclaiming about how freaking messed up that was, but stopped when Aragorn crumpled to his knees in despair. Sprawled out below us was a town, wrecked and burning. There were tears in Aragorn's eyes as he looked at it.

"Don't worry, Arry," I said. "We'll win this thing."

"Ah!" Nudge jumped about ten feet in the air when the translucent green figure of the ghost king passed through her. She clutched her chest, panting and glaring at him like he'd just given her a heart attack.

"We fight," the ghost king rumbled.

Third Person POV, Total

Total was a dog of many words.

Maybe for a human he wasn't the most talkative person on the planet (that position was held by Nudge) but most dogs didn't really talk much at all, even in this messed up skewed reality. He spoke dog, of course, but it wasn't the same. Dog language wasn't as clear. It had taken him a while to even figure out Akila was a girl (a stupid mistake in hindsight. Akila was the most beautiful dog he'd ever seen in his entire life). That didn't happen with humans. They had squeaky voices or deep voices depending on their gender. Well, not always, but even Iggy had thought Justin Bieber was a girl at first, and he was supposed to be really smart about those things.

Right then, though, Total was feeling very vocal.

"Do I have to go to war, too?"

"No."

"But… what if I want to?"

"You're a hound."

"A hound? WTF? I'm a dog."

"I'm sorry."

"No, seriously, I really want to go!"

"I apologize, but what is a small dog supposed to do in a battle?"

"You'd be surprised. Want me to bite your ankles right now? Cos' I'd do it, you know. To prove my point."

"I'm sure you're very good at biting ankles."

"So why can't I go to battle?"

"Because the orcs have swords."

"Don't be speciesist! Just because I don't have opposable thumbs - !"

"I'm sorry, Total, but what would happen if you fell? Your family would be devastated."

"Oh, yeah, sure, whatever," Total grumbled. Then he made his best imitation of a rude gesture and stalked off. Theoden sighed and turned back to his soldiers. He was beginning to understand why Max was occasionally less than enthusiastic about the beast.

Total suddenly choked. Someone was yanking him up by his doggy jacket. His legs thrashed wildly for a minute.

"Ack!" he wheezed. "Leggo!"

"Sorry," said Merry. They were moving quickly on a very crowded horse.

"What's going on?" Total demanded.

"We're going to war," said the other person on the horse. Funny, it didn't sound like a man. Didn't only men do the war thing here? Then the person turned around and Total caught sight of their face.

"Oh, hi, Eowyn,"said Total. "This is bitchin'. Alright! Let's bite some ankles!"

Third Person POV, Angel

"That jerkface!" Angel said, for the umpteenth time. She'd considered mind-controlling Frodo, but when she'd tried to get into his head something had resisted her and she decided against it. The Ring, probably.

Sam was still crying. A horrible waste of water, she thought. With his blurry vision, he wasn't quite watching where he was going, and his foot slipped.

"Gah!" he yelled. Angel lunged and grabbed onto his cloak, yanking him back upwards so he wouldn't fall off the stairs to his death. Once he was up, he had stopped crying. Instead, he looked livid.

"Down there," he growled. "The lembas bread. It's down there."

"I knew it was Gollum," Angel said. Literally, she had. She'd read his mind, and it was right there along with all his traitorous thoughts. She was still biding her time with him, though. It was kind of fun, to be completely honest.

"We have to save Mr. Frodo!" said Sam firmly.

"He kicked us out!" said Angel. "Does he deserve to be saved?"

Sam looked at her defiantly. "Do what you want, Angel, but I'm going to save Mr. Frodo. I made a promise, Angel, a promise."

"A promise?" said Angel sarcastically. "Well, I guess that leaves no room for argument, huh?"

But when he started climbing the steps again, back up the mountain, she followed.

Max POV

"That's a lot of boats."

"Ships," Fang corrected Gazzy. "They get pissed if you call their ships boats."

"Whatever."

"You may go no further," Aragorn said loudly. A man walked up to the front of the ship. "You may not enter Gondor."

"Who are you to deny us passage?" said the man.

"Legolas," said Aragorn quietly. "Fire a warning shot past the boson's ear."

"Mind your aim," Gimli taunted. Then, as Legolas raised his bow, the dwarf knocked it, throwing the arrow off.

"Oops!"

"Nice going, midget."

The arrow had lodged itself into the boson's chest, not harmlessly past his ear. Aragorn glared at Legolas.

"It was the dwarf," said Legolas. Then, in elvish, he muttered something about him being stupid and childish.

"That's right! We warned you! Prepare to be boarded!" Gimli said.

"Nice save," Iggy snorted.

"Boarded?" a man cackled, after they had all stopped laughing. I couldn't blame them. I mean, an elf, a dwarf, a man, and five kids versus about twenty shiploads of mercenaries? Pft, yeah, right! "By you and whose army?"

"This army," said Aragorn. I almost gathered him into a giant bear hug. Was that a joke? No way!

It took about five minutes for the ghost army to appear and kill them all.