XXV.
Katniss opened the door a crack and frowned before shutting it again.
"Masks on," she announced. "We still don't know what that black stuff was and we're going to have to go back out the way we came in."
"It's not corrosive," Gale said from the back of the group. "I got some on my shoe an studied it a little. I think it was meant to poison us."
"Like the fog," Finnick said quietly. "And that disappeared after a while."
"We can't assume anything. Masks on." Everyone did as they were told and Finnick adjusted the mask over Peeta's lifeless face. When everyone was ready, they nodded to Katniss, who still held the Holo. She bit her lip and held it out toward Jackson.
"I don't know how to use this and Boggs said you would help me. He said I could count on you." With a scowl, Jackson yanked it out of her hand and fiddled with the buttons. Once she had put in a command, an intersection appeared and she studied it for a moment.
"See this right here? It's an overview of the four streets that meet at the intersection. Where do you think we should go?" Katniss bit her lip. She had never felt like much of a leader but everyone was watching her as if she were one.
"If we go out the kitchen door, it looks like there is a small courtyard, then the back side of another apartment unit that we can hide behind."
"Very good," Jackson said with a brief nod.
"But what about the other pods," Leeg spoke up.
"Which ones?"
"The ones we might not know about."
"We have to risk it," Jackson said before Katniss could speak. "Soldier Everdeen says we are going back the way we came, so we go. Everyone ready?" No one felt ready to go out into the huge cloud of mysterious fumes but they made sure their masks were tight as they followed Katniss outside.
As they walked down the street, ducking behind buildings, Katniss kept her hand on her stomach. She had been feeling sharp pains but didn't want to say anything. She swore she would not appear weak. And only a few of the squad knew she was pregnant. She ignored the pains and continued on.
They were lucky and did not encounter any pods or have any trouble with the fumes. But the light was fading and street lamps were coming on. Katniss chose an apartment further down the street and looked around before motioning for them to get closer. Homes broke the lock and Katniss silently gestured them all in.
Once inside, Gale took off his mask and stood next to the window. They all watched in trepidation.
"It's ok. You can smell it but it's not strong. It shouldn't do anything to us." Everyone took off their masks and tossed them aside as they collapsed onto the floor. Katniss briefly examined the apartment, which was just like the one they had been in earlier, and she set her gun aside. Finnick had laid Peeta across the blue sofa, still bound and unconscious. Jackson had her gun pointed at him and Katniss scowled but bit back her retort. She felt another sharp pain around her midriff and stifled a gasp. Gale's eyes flew to her stomach, then to hers.
"Katniss?"
"I'm fine," she said dismissively. She tried to stand but the pain was so intense that she moaned and wrapped her arms around her waist, moving to curl up on the floor.
"Katniss!" Finnick and Gale were by her side as Gale cradled her head and Cressida and Messalla hovered over her.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm…I'm not sure. My stomach really hurts."
"Like cramps," Leeg asked. Cressida glanced up at her then back at Katniss.
"Katniss?" Gale whispered, looking worried. A sudden chain of explosions made them all jump and Katniss sat up.
"What is that?"
"It's not that close, maybe four or five blocks away," Jackson said, listening intently. Katniss paled.
"The apartment we were just in? Where we left Boggs?"
"He would understand, Katniss."
"But-" but she was interrupted by the TV snapping to life and Katniss jumped. Cressida held out a hand.
"It's ok. It's an emergency broadcast. All the TVs are programmed to come on when these happen."
"Oh damn it!" Finnick swore, leaning close to the TV. They all scurried closer and saw themselves on the street right after the bomb had wounded Boggs. The reporter was identifying them all by name. Peeta, Katniss, Gale, Cressida, and Boggs were all identified but the rest were left as 'unknowns'. They watched the chaos as Peeta attacked, Gale tried to free Mitchell from the wire, and Katniss ordered everyone into an apartment. The TV cut to a live feed showing peacekeepers hosing down the now-destroyed apartment. Moments later, they were all pronounced dead. Homes breathed.
"Finally, a bit of luck." Katniss bit her lip. She could imagine everyone in 13 watching this. Prim, her mother, Annie…she felt sick and felt the pain again.
"My father," Leeg said softly, "he just lost my sister and…and when he sees this…" she fell silent, silent tears streaming down her pale cheeks.
The footage played over and over until it cut to several reporters, discussing the Mockingjay's rise to power and her well-deserved death. Finnick reached over and squeezed Katniss's hand but the pain in her stomach was so intense she couldn't have cared less. She curled up into a ball on the floor and hid her face in her hands.
"So now that we're dead, what's our next move?" Gale asked, reaching out to turn off the TV. No one looked at Katniss, who felt like she was dying on the carpet.
"Isn't it obvious?" came a quiet voice from the couch. Everyone whirled around and Katniss lifted her head in disbelief. Peeta was pushing himself up in a sitting position with some difficulty and from the look on his face, he had seen everything on TV. His eyes met Katniss's as he spoke.
"Our next move is to kill me."
Katniss's jaw dropped but Peeta looked firm as stone.
"Don't be ridiculous," Jackson said, though she had been the one to keep the gun covering him.
"I just murdered a member of our squad!"
"You pushed him off you," Finnick said softly. "You couldn't have known he would trigger that net. It's not your fault."
"Who cares! He's dead isn't he," Peeta said, tears staining his cheeks. "I didn't know. I mean…I mean, they have told me. I've known that I can become a monster…but I never…I've only seen it once…I didn't think I could EVER…Katniss, I'm sorry…I deserve to die." Katniss moved to comfort him but the pain in her stomach made her cry out and she clutched her stomach. Peeta's eyes widened even more and he struggled off the couch, his hands still cuffed, as he made his way over to her. Pain exploded in her abdomen and she cried out again.
"Katniss, what's wrong?"
"Peeta," she said weakly. "I think…" she trailed off, looking down and Peeta choked back a sob. Finnick's hands went to her belly, prodding gently and she winced and tried to scurry away.
"What's wrong with her," Jackson boomed. Cressida ignored her and sat in front of Katniss, her cold hands going to the girl's stomach.
"Katniss, look at me. Breathe. Right now. Deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Very good. Look into my eyes. Keep calm, just keep breathing." Cressida glanced down and her face fell but her eyes darted back up to Katniss's and she glued a fake smile on.
"Keep breathing, dear. That's it. Gale, go find me some towels." Gale leaped to his feet and ran from the room. Peeta had backed up against the sofa and was sobbing into his hands, his cries raw and unrestrained. Finnick's face was pale but he moved closer to Katniss and took her other hand.
"Breathe through the pain, Katniss. You've been through worse than this before. Breathe, little mockingjay. Breathe." Katniss obeyed and breathed through it. She didn't notice Peeta sobbing his eyes out or Gale's tears as he handed Cressida the towels or the wetness beneath her. She inhaled and exhaled and Cressida nodded. Cressida and Finnick squeezed her hands and nodded encouragingly. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the pain subsided and Katniss opened her eyes, to find them all staring at her in horror. She glanced down and noticed her clothes were stained with blood. At first she did not understand but when she looked up into Gale's tear-filled eyes, Cressida's sad face, and finally, at Peeta's shaking form, she finally understood.
"Oh god."
"Can you get up, Katniss? I'll hep you to the bathroom and clean you up." She did not move so Finnick hoisted her to her feet and Leeg and Cressida hurried her toward the bathroom, while Katniss just stared blankly into space. When she was gone, Jackson turned onto Peeta.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Peeta ignored her, lost in his grief.
"Soldier Jackson. Give him a moment," Gale said sharply. Her eyes narrowed.
"Did you know, Soldier Hawthorne?"
"It doesn't matter anymore, does it? Just let them be."
"And you, Soldier Odair? You both knew, didn't you?"
"As Gale said, what does it matter," Finnick said miserably, pressing the towels into the floor and cleaning the spots of blood. Pollux and Homes moved down to help and Finnick went to Peeta.
"Peeta. You have to snap out of this. She needs you." Peeta's howls echoed around the room and Castor winced. He hid his face in his arms as he rocked back and forth.
"Peeta! Listen to me. She's still here. She still loves you. You need to stay strong, for her. This is not your fault, do you hear me?"
"How. HOW can you say that," Peeta choked out, looking up at Finnick with red eyes.
"I murdered my own child."
"No! No you didn't. This is all the Capitol's doing, Peeta. This is not your fault. And we don't even know if…" he trailed off, thinking for sure that Katniss had lost the baby. Peeta blanched again and buried his face in his palms. The metal cuffs sliced at his face and he welcomed the pain.
"Peeta, Finnick is right. You have to snap out of it. She's going to need you even more now. You can't revert! Don't leave her again," Gale said, shaking him.
"Take care of her, Gale," he cried, looking up to meet Gale's gray eyes. "You could take better care of her than I ever could. Kill me. Please. I can't…I can't do this."
"Peeta! Stop talking like that," Gale said sharply.
"You've wanted to kill me since you met me," Peeta said, a mad look in his eyes.
"So do it! PLEASE!"
"I'm not going to kill you. No one is going to kill you so put it out of your head right now. You've got to pull yourself together! You asked that girl to marry you so now you had better be prepared to take care of her!"
"I can't."
"Peeta, you love her more than you have ever loved another person," Finnick said urgently. "I know it, I've seen it. You have to find yourself again. Don't let Snow win! He tried to destroy your love for her and you have been fighting it. Keep fighting it. Don't let this destroy you."
"I KILLED MY BABY! I'm a mutt! A Capitol MUTT!"
"Lock him up," Jackson said, her eyes never leaving his writhing form. "Put him in the pantry again."
"How about a bedroom," Finnick said bitterly. "He's not a damn prisoner, and he obviously needs help!"
"You'd better make sure there's no means of escape then." Finnick grabbed Peeta's hands and pulled him up. Peeta resisted at first but then went limp and seemed to fall asleep. Gale helped Finnick drag him into one of the smaller bedrooms that had no windows. Gale quickly examined the room to make sure there was nothing Peeta could use to harm himself while Finnick lay Peeta's bound hands on his stomach. When they re-entered the living room, they found Cressida and Leeg cleaning themselves up.
"How is she?"
"Hard to say. She won't speak or even move. It's like she's in a catatonic state. We cleaned her up and dressed her in fresh clothes. She's resting now."
"Are we sure…I mean, is it for sure that she lost it," Finnick asked in a hollow voice.
"It wasn't a lot of blood, but I don't know what else it could be. We can't be sure of anything until she is examined. How is Peeta?"
"The same. He started yelling that he was a mutt and then he just went unconscious. He's resting too."
"We've suffered some setbacks," Cressida said with a sigh, rubbing her tired eyes. "And I'm not sure how we are supposed to expect the Mockingjay to come back from this."
"Katniss can handle anything that is thrown at her," Gale said hotly. "She can survive this." Cressida chose to ignore him. Jackson glared around the room, then unstrapped her gun and weapons.
"We had better settle in and find some dinner. We will deal with Katniss in the morning."
They made their way to the kitchen and Gale opened the pantry. The soldiers of District 13 were scandalized to see the hoarded food.
"Isn't this illegal?" Leeg asked.
"Maybe in 13. But here in the Capitol, you'd be stupid not to stock up. People even started before the Quarter Quell."
"While others went without," Leeg said bitterly.
"C'mon, everyone grab a can," Gale said, his hand shooting out and grabbing the nearest can. Everyone ate in silence, afraid to speak. When they had finished, they decided someone should still keep watch while the others slept. Even though the Capitol thought them dead, they knew Peacekeepers were still nearby. Gale volunteered to take first watch and the others settled on the sofas and on the floor. Gale cast them a look before he went into the bedroom to find Katniss huddled on the bed. He sat on the edge of the bed, sighing heavily.
"Catnip I know you can hear me. You have to fight this. You didn't want this in the first place, remember? Don't let this destroy you. You and Peeta can still have a future, if that's what you want. Or you can have a future with…someone else. But you have to move on from this. And I know you can. You're the strongest person I know." He reached over and moved a hair from her face, his knuckles stroking her cheek.
"Don't leave us, Katniss. We need you," he whispered in her ear.