Entry 25
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
I watched in amazement as the blank piece of paper he held began to have black ink spread across it. The marauders map spread in eloquent print.
"What is thi-"
"PRONGS!"
James and I both jumped a foot as the door slammed against the door and Lupin's voice filled our ears.
"what Remus?!" James yelled back.
Remus waltzed in, his head held high. "I've finally got a girlfriend." He said with a smirk.
James groaned. "Great. Now only Pete and I will be the only losers in the m'rauds."
"Actually Pete's going out with that hufflepuff chickie."
"Abby?"
"Yep."
"Now I really feel pathetic."
"Oh don't feel too bad." Remus looked at me, "it does seem that I've interrupted something."
James looked at me, then frowned. "No, Remus. Nothing at all." I cocked an eyebrow at him. Were we not just holding hands and sitting on his bed? Was that nothing?
James stood up, tucked the paper in his back pocket and cleared his throat.
"I'm really sorry Lily but I need to do some homework, can we talk tomorrow?"
"Er—"I looked around and stood up, "Sure, James."
He smiled at me, and I left.
That was weird right?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX the next day XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
What the fuck. What the fuck. What the holy fuck above is wrong with James fucking Matthew fucking Potter?! Fuck.
That was a lot of Fucks.
Fuck that.
I don't care if I say Fuck.
So fuck you journal, I don't care if I say fuck.
Because fucking James Potter has a fucking date.
A DATE!!
A date?
Yes, a date.
A very un-friend date.
A very un-friend date with a woman.
A very un-friend date with a woman who is very pretty.
A very un-friend date with a woman who is very pretty whose name happens to be Jenevieve Ducos.
Fuck.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX the next day XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I suppose I should elaborate on my last entry.
You see, again who am I talking to? Anyway I was assigned to be Kara Love's partner, who is the gossiping bimbo of Hogwarts, and was attempted to complete a focusing potion, when she puts her hand on my shoulder.
"How are you holding up?"
I looked at her like she was crazy. "What are you talking about?"
"I mean if I were you, I would be in the bathroom stalls crying. Or maybe since you are you," she said rudely, "you might celebrate."
"What are you talking about??"
She gasped. "You don't know?!"
"No…."
She hugged me. "Oh Lily! I'm sorry to be the one to tell you." She looked positively delighted. "Well you know Jenevieve Duclos right? The really pretty 7th year?" I nodded, "Well….James asked her to go to Hogsmeade with him."
I stared at her blankly.
James had had girlfriends before of course.
Wait. Hadn't he?
He had gone out with that Rory chick for a while.
Until she broke up with him because she felt used to get a girl jealous, who is in all probability me.
He went on a date with that Sarah girl.
Once.
And there was Kelly.
Once.
And…umm…. Becca was his valentine….in second year.
Holy fuck I'm a bitch.
And I feel no guilt in writing this because you are my journal; I kinda like that he has been waiting for me.
Does that mean hes a virgin?
That is sooo not that point, Lily. Especially now that he has a girlfriend.
Why would he even date her? I'm way prettier than her.
Ha. Yea. Riiight. Prettier than Jenevieve Duclos.
Charlotte's self esteem gets taken down a notch when Jenevieve walks in the room.
Anyway, here I am staring at Kara when the potion begins to boil over.
My 3 days of slaving over this damn contraption is dead.
Mr. Slughorn walked over to me and started talking about how I must have just made a mistake and it happens to everyone, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile I looked over at James. He gave me a smile and mouthed if I was ok.
I looked the other way.
I looked at Greg.
Fuck you Potter.
If you wanna play, I'll play.
I winked at Greg.
But I play dirty.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX The same night, in dormitory XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
It all started in the library. I went in there dinner—which was just peachy, I had to ignore Potter all dinner, not that I wanted to talked to him, or miss talking to. Yeah, right, I would never miss—
Ok yes I missed talking to him. Moving on. I went to the library to escape Melanie and Charlotte from quizzing me on what was wrong.
When I said Charlotte was like Sirius this included the allergy to the library.
I went to the secluded, tiny, little alcove of ancient greek/roman history, wizard style. It had a very nice table there with comfortable chairs that never squeaked, or was lopsided—yes I'm a nerd. Leave me alone.
Moving right along, I went on to my table and—get this—Potter was sitting there. Chomping on an apple. Looking at me expectantly.
"I knew you'd be here."
I ignored him yet again and took my seat taking out my book.
"Lily talk to me." My book was very interesting.
"Please Lil?"
Nothing.
He took my chin and forced me to look into his hazel eyes.
"What the hell is wrong with you?! Are you mad I kicked you out 2 days ago?" He furiously whispered.
"No!" I spit out.
"Then what Lily. Tell me whats going on. What did I do?" He pleaded desperately.
"Why do you care about me? Don't you have somewhere else to be?"
"Like where?" He looked very confused.
I slammed my book shut. "Figure it out."
"I don't want to figure it out damnit!" He yelled, not whispered loudly like we had been, but really yelled. A round of 'sssh's came thrown at us. He grabbed my hand. "Tell me what I did wrong. You cant expect me to just know. Please tell me what I did so I can make it better."
"What do you expect from me?!" I whirled on him.
"An answer!"
"So your finally sick of me huh? Finally just want a nice lay to get your mind off your life. Just a nice girl to screw around with. No feelings. No strings attracted. No—"
"What are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about? You pompous, complete ass hole, I cant believe you would do this to me! I cant—" My hand went to his body, to smack him, to punch him, I don't honestly know. But my hand was going towards his head.
He grabbed my wrist, stopping my assault. His thumb then moved to the chain that held the lily he gave me. His movements slowed and my breathing stopped. He brought my wrist to his nose, breathing. His mouth graced the chain, his soft lips tracing my skin. It felt like it was lit on fire. My breath I had been holding came out in a rush, my hand began shaking. His plump pink lips kissed the pendant. My palm spread against his cheek, holding it there. His skin was warm to the touch and I leaned in closer to him.
"You still wear it." He breathed against my skin.
"I never take it off."
He pulled back slightly. "Really?" I nodded. "Are you going to tell me whats wrong Lily? Please?"
I withdrew my hand, and crossed my arms in front of my chest.
"Jenevieve Duclos."
"I thought we had gotten over that."
I looked at him with poison on my eyes. "Apparently you hadn't."
He looked at me perplexed.
I looked at him up and down. "I don't know why you'd have to have your best friends leftovers, but hey. Its your dick. Do with it as you please. Do whoever you want. I don't care."
"I never slept with her Lily! I only flirted! What is your problem?"
I slowly sat down. I put my head in my hands, and sighed. I slowly murmured, mostly to myself, "you asked her to Hogsmeade."
I felt the chair next to me move and heard him sit. I felt his hand touch my wrist again. My skin began to tingle, I hate the way his touch affects me.
He began to hold my hand, traced patterns along my sensitive ivory skin.
"I'm not going out with Jenevieve."
"Oh."
"I'm sorry if that hurt you."
I pulled my hand back. "It didn't hurt me!"
He chuckled, "whatever you say."
"I was not affected at all."
"Whatever gets you to sleep at night."
We were silent for a moment, "So…just to clarify, your not going to Hogsmeade with anyone."
"Are you offering?"
"No!"
"how about we compromise?"
"let me here it first."
"Well…lets think here, Sirius and Charlotte, as much as I hate to think about it, will want privacy. Remus and Melanie will want to be alone as well…and that kinda leaves us. So we could grab a butterbeer, or go look around, grab some supplies we're out of. No big deal." I gave him a skeptical look. "Paying separately, of course."
"Just as friends who are stuck together."
"Exactly. What do you say?"
"ok."
"Ok?"
"Yes." He beamed at me.
"Why do you have that look?"
"What? That look of complete and utter bliss?"
"Yes, that look."
"Because—completely out of context of course—you, Lily Ella Evans, just said yes to go to Hogsmeade with me."
"Oh Merlin, what have I done now?"
We both got up and started walking towards to the door. He placed his arm around my shoulders, "Oh nothing, you just made only the best decision of your entire life." He wiggled his eye brows and tightened his arm around me.
I shrugged off his arm, "Don't get ahead of yourself."
"Just give me a minute to save this moment in time forever."
"Your delusional."
"Ssh, Don't ruin the moment."
I sighed as he closed his eyes to 'lock away the memory.' And once I was sure his eyes were securely shut, I grinned.
I didn't make you wait a till Monday and I –basically—gave you a Lily/James date. What more can you ask for?!
(I can hear everyone going "a kiss!" ….not yet, I'm sorry.)
Anyways, I'm going to be out of town for the next weekend as well so I suppose I shall update this again Thursday, and if hell freezes over maybe on Wednesday.
Please do review. It makes my day. I'm serious. Don't be tricked by all my trips. I need reviews to make my days sunny =)
Love,
Jenna