Cat's POV
Dear Robbie,
That was all I could get out right about now. My stomach was turning, my hair was coming out in clumps, I felt weak all the time, but I needed to get this done. I had the time to tell him, but I wasn't strong enough to see the look on his face when I said it.
I stare down at the paper and watch as the tear drops absorb into the paper. The ink that was on it, started to smear, so I crumpled the paper and threw it on the floor.
I pick up my phone and start to flip through the pictures on my phone. There were hundreds of them, all of them of me and Robbie. I couldn't pick which to start on, but I randomly pressed one. It was the one of me and Robbie, kissing by the tree on Christmas. I looked at the picture for a good 10 minutes just remembering that night. It was probably the best Christmas of my life. The second picture was of me, Robbie, Jones and Beck, a few weeks after I started. We had gone down to the gym and played a few games of 2 on 2 basketball. We were all standing there, Robbie and I with triumphant smiles on our faces, with our arms around each other. I scrolled to the next, which was of Robbie and I dressed up in these weird costumes for the Halloween party 2 years ago. The next was a team photo again. We took it when Robbie and I were fighting, so he was on the other side of Jones, as far from me as he could get, but the smile on his face was genuine. I flip to the next picture which almost brought me to tears. It was of me in the hospital, right after I was shot. I was lying there, staring at him hopelessly. We were talking about a bunch of stuff and I started to wince, so Robbie pushed the morphine button to relieve the pain I was in. We were laying there and Jones was sitting on the other side of the room. I slowly started to drift off but the last thing I said was, "It's not just a partnership… it's a love story."
Robbie was on his way now, probably just getting off of his flight, so I put down the phone and wiped the stray tear from my cheek. I know it was weak of me to cry over such a stupid thing, but I never realized how much it hurt to know what was being taken away.
I stand up, blow my nose, and walk to my room to get dressed. I grab a different pair of sweats out of my drawer and a comfortable sweatshirt out of my closet. It was a sluggish outfit, but I didn't feel like dressing up, just to still look horrid.
After about 20 minutes of writing, Robbie knocks on the door. I sluggishly walk over and open it. Before he can eve put his things down, he was on top of me with a bear hug.
"I love you…" He says quickly and quietly.
"I love you too, babe." I squeeze him as tightly as I can, which wasn't much.
"He drops his things by the door and picks me up beneath the knees. He holds me in his arms until we get to the couch. He sits down and lays me on top of him so I could cuddle into his chest.
"How are you feeling?" He asks me softly, kissing me jaw line.
"I'm doing pretty well." I smile trying to make it look real.
"You're lying." Robbie speaks bluntly.
"Fine, I feel like shit. I'm constantly nauseous, my head is pounding, my body is aching, and it cant get much worse. Is that better?" I say obnoxiously.
"I'm sorry…."
I sigh. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blow up on you like that. It's just… I'm dying and I look gaunt and pale and horrible. My hero is right here next me, and there is absolutely nothing he can do. So I'm just going to sit here because there is nothing I can do to make the people around me feel better."
"Cat, I haven't left yet. And I'm not going to leave anytime soon, because when I first saw you, I swore I wouldn't. When I out that ring on your finger, I swore that I wouldn't. When I came here, I swore that I wouldn't. I don't care if there isn't anything I can do, I'll try my very best to do the impossible." He smiles.
"You know, most guys would have fled by now. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you staying." I lean forward and kiss him softly before having to lean back from chest pain. That was the problem with Osteosarcoma, the pain never stopped.
"I need you to do me a favor…" I tell him. I move next to him and lay down so my head rests in his lap. He slowly rubs his fingers up and down my arm, which felt like heaven.
"Ok. What is it?" He chuckles because in my time of dying, I need him to do me a favor. But this was a good one. It was something he wouldn't understand until it was all over.
I reach into my pocket and pull out a key. "This is the key to this place. After all of this is done, I need you to come back. I don't care how badly your heart hurt, I don't care if you can't step foot in this place again, I don't care if your mourning, or having a freaking party. I need you to do this for me. On my desk in my room, there's an envelope. You're names on it. Read it. Please do this for me. But not until this is all over. Promise me that." I say staring at the ceiling, refusing to look at the tear filled eyes of the love of my life.
"Ok." He chokes out.
"No. Not, 'OK', do it. Promise me."
"Always…"
"Thank you, Robbie…" I take his hand and intertwine our fingers. They fit together perfectly.
"Have you ever heard the Greek myth that humans were created with 4 arms and 4 legs?" Robbie asks me, going back to rubbing my arm softly.
"No. What is it?" I ask.
"Well, Plato said that human were created with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. Some will never succeed, some find them quickly. But that connection we have, love, it's because we were meant to be. I spent my whole life, hoping that one day I would find 'the one'. Soon enough I just gave up looking. Life is full of rejection, and pain, and horrible things, but when you find that person, your life turns around. And you start to see the good and why life is worth living. If it weren't for you, I don't know what I would do. I spent my entire life looking for my other half, and I finally found her." He says helping me to sit up.
"Let's go to bed." I say walking him to the bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers and climbed in, and I just go in with what I was wearing. I was way too tired.
I cuddled up to him, with my head on his chest, and tried to sleep. After about 10 minutes of riding the wave like, rise and fall breathes he took, I got out of bed. I turned on the light that was on the desk. It wasn't too bright, so I wouldn't wake him, but I needed to fix that letter. I took a pen and a new piece of paper and started to scribble, somewhat neatly, a new letter. This one was a lot different than the last. It was more passionate.
I continue onto the back and finish it up. A line under the letter, I write:
Always,
Cat
I place the pen down next to it and read over the paper. I plug my phone into my computer quickly and print the picture of Robbie and me after the basketball game. I cropped out Beck and Jones, and just left us, with our triumphant smiles. There was something about that picture that just made me remember every single second of our lives together. I take the picture and fold it in with the letter before stuffing it into a new envelope. I take the new one, rip it up, and throw it in the garbage basket next to my desk.
Robbie's POV
The next few days were harder than the ones before. Cat got worse and worse and it was hard for me to bear. Earlier today, I took her to the hospital. She kept vomiting and she got a 104 fever. The doctors told me that her white blood cell count was going down and that the infections from the tumors were taking over. He told me that I had less than 6 hours left of her.
I walked over to the other side of the room, where the chairs were, and plopped down crying. The tear just kept falling and there was no stopping them. They had her on an IV trying to keep her hydrated. The different machines were beeping and humming and it just made everything worse.
I sat until the doctors came in with an ice bath to cool Cat down. Her temperature kept rising and she was going in and out of consciousness. The doctors tried to calm me down. They offered to get me things, but I kept saying no.
"Sir, is there anything we can get you? It's no hassle, don't worry." One of the nurses tells me.
"Can you get me back my fiancée!? Can you fix her!? YOU CAN'T DO SHIT FOR ME!" I yell into her face before dropping to my knees and sobbing. The nurse knelt down next to me and rubbed circles on my back trying to comfort me. The effort was nice, but it wasn't enough.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" The nurse said holding me in her arms as I cried. Cat was dwindling slowly and painfully and it just wasn't right.
"What do I do…?" I ask the nurse.
"Stay with her. Hold her hand. Tell her you love. You need to be there when she needs it most, and that is right now." I slowly got up, whipping off the tears and walking over to my gaunt and extremely red fiancée. They kept draining the water that her hot body had melted and refilling the tub with more and more ice, but it wasn't working. She was burning from the inside out.
I take hand and clench it tightly. I swore I saw a smile on her face, but then it disappeared. She started to breathe heavily and shake. The doctors kept checking her pulse and listening to her lungs to make sure she was alive.
I squeezed her hand slightly and she definitely squeezed back, but that was is. One of the men's faces fell from a serious concerned look, to a sorrowful gaze at me. I knew what it meant, and I could tell myself, that she was gone.
"Time of death… 6:26 pm." The one doctor said, getting up off of his knees and wrapping the stethoscope around his neck. He walked over to me and stood a foot apart from me.
"I'm sorry." He said emotionless before turning around and walking away. I stood there shaking like I was an epilepsy patient. The nurse who was comforting me before came to steady me and walked me over to a chair.
"She seemed like a great person." The woman says patting me on the shoulder, getting me up and walking away to get the people from the morgue. I just sat there staring at her motionless body, trying to imagine the pain she felt that whole time.
Hours later, I pulled up out front of Cat's new building. I took the keys out of the ignition and fumbled to the key she gave me. I looked at it for a minute before getting out.
I didn't believe it was real. I could wrap my mind around the fact that this young woman, the love of my life, my fiancée, was actually dead. I dropped the keys, who knows how many times, trying to get into the apartment. I didn't know if it was because I didn't want to go in, or because I was shaky, but I promised her something and I wasn't going to break it.
Finally with the door open I step inside and towards her room. I see the envelope sitting on her desk and I turn on the light. I pull out the chair she once sat in and hold the envelope in my hands. I was scared to open it.
I cautiously open the envelope, hoping not to damage anything, and pull the piece of paper out. It was written on in black pen. I unfold the paper and a tinier piece falls out. I place it to the side and read the letter.
Dear Robbie,
It was once said that all humans were created with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. Well, I found my other half. The man that refused to leave my side, the man that helped me through thick and thin, the man who was the only one to ever love me. You, Robbie, you were that man. No matter what happens to me or to you, we will be in each other's hearts forever.
I sit here sometimes, just hoping that this was all a dream. Hoping that I would wake and be in your arms, perfectly fine. I imagine what it would be like to get married and have a honeymoon and start a family, and it brings me to tears, because I know this will never happen for me. I didn't want to do this to you. I didn't want to have to break your heart. I didn't want to leave you in this horrible world alone. But that's how it went, and there's no changing that.
Every partnership has that one thing that makes it work. The one thing that is unique. The one thing that will keep them going even through the hard times. Our partnership is nothing like the rest. Ours is different. Jones and Beck had their thing, Batman and Robin had theirs too, but no partnership is the same. So the question is what makes our partnership unique? Well, it's a love story.
Our life is like a book. The friendships, lovers, problems, and memories make up each chapter. But a chapter can only be so long, and when it's over, you have to flip to the next page and begin a new chapter. You can't hold on to everyone and every moment. I may not be there with you in the next chapter, but you will be there and you will continue to live your life to its fullest. I need you to promise me that. I know it's hard, but holding on is the worst thing you could do.
Rule #1 – Sometimes you need to let go.
Always,
Cat
I place the letter down on the desk again and pick up the picture. It was the one of Jones, Beck, Cat, and I after the basketball game. Cat had cropped out the other two and left us there. The smile on her face was amazing to see again, but the picture broke me down. I sat holding out in front of me crying and reminiscing all of the memories we had.
It was hard to break the news to Jones and Beck. Both cried, but it got easier in time. I still had the picture Cat put in the letter. I pulled it out from my wallet and stuck it underneath the framing of the computer, so I would be able to see it every day. With each glace it got easier and easier to let go, but I would never forget her.
I took the picture down quickly realizing I had never looked at the back to see if she wrote anything. I flip it over in my hand and read the chicken scratch handwriting she had. There was one sentence written on the back.
It's a love story…
The End
So that's a wrap haha. I always do that. Most of you had guessed that I would do this, seeing as though I will ALWAYS kill someone in my stories.
So this story was kind of a way for m to rant about my Cop Shows. Each chapter had some sort of base off of Bones, NCIS, Castle NCIS: LA, and some other stuff. I actually really liked writing this story, it's one of my favorites net to I Choose You, More Than Miles, and For Good. Haha
Throughout this song I literally listened to maybe 3 songs over and over again and for the past few chapters it was either Step Away by Corey Gray or Hardly The Hero by Levi Kreis (I'm in love with that song so go listen)
I really appreciate all of you guys reading. It's kind of an ego boost haha but seriously, you are all amazing. For my ghost readers thanks for reading and I would love it if I got one review from each of you, just so I know who you are. You are all amazing! For my solid readers, sshaw101, CaburpleGiraffe, Sofia13, and who ever that noname person is, I really love and appreciate your reviews, they are always amazing and definitely "cracky". And for CabbieFluffQueen I want to give a bit of a better thank you because you always put up with my rants and my nonsense when you never understood a word. I couldn't ask for a better best friend.
So thanks again guys and I'm sorry I had to do that to you, but that's how and I like a little bit of the tragic stuff.
So I may take a break, I may not. I don't know yet because Softball just started and I'm going to busy. Plus I have no ideas for another story yet. But when I do start writing again, I promise it wont be another cop story haha. I just needed one.
REVIEW!