Obi-Wan woke up with a start. Shock and fear still resided in his bones as he fought against his own blanket, eventually rolling from his bed, and meeting the ground hard. Images of blood, burned bodies and lifeless eyes still flickered in his vision. It took him a couple of seconds in which he almost sliced a bookcase in half with his lightsaber until he realized that it had only been a dream. A nightmare, but the most terrible he'd ever had.

"Oh force", he sighed and grabbed the bedpost for support. He was irritated for a moment, not being able to feel the smooth wood under his fingers. His gaze was drawn to his hand. It looked normal but he didn't have any feeling in it. It wasn't real.

"You can't close your eyes forever, Obi-Wan."

The Jedi whirled around, his sword once again activated. Nobody should be in here with him. This was the Jedi temple and nobody just walked in on a Master. He was safe here! Of course, he still slept with a lightsaber under his pillow and today, he was glad for it.

His visitor however was someone entirely unexpected.

"Qui-Gon!?", he exclaimed in shock. That was not possible! Qui-Gon was dead! He... He'd killed him himself! He saw the life leave his eyes, felt their connection break...

But it was Qui-Gon. Not only that but it was the Qui-Gon he remembered. He couldn't feel the dark side anywhere around him and he had that same calm smile, the same good-natured eyes as his old Master. There was only one difference. He was blue.

"You are dead", Obi-Wan said, his voice shaking. "I... I killed you!"

"Yes, you did. But there is no death, there is the force. I have discovered the last secret, the true meaning behind the living force and now I am one with it, forever watching over the living."

"No! No, that's a trick, you're... you're a holo image or... or an hallucination."

"Obi...", Qui-Gon sighed, as if talking to a very stupid child.

"Begone!", the Jedi called out and grabbed a book from a bedside table. He threw it right at Qui-Gon's image. It went right through. There was no flicker, no disruption as there would've been with a holo message, especially a recorded one.

"Obi-Wan, I'm only here to help you-"

"Help me!?" Obi-Wan practically screeched the words. He dropped his sword in favor of being able to pull at his own hair, trying to dispel this figment of his imagination through pain. "I killed you, why would you help me?!"

"Because you need my help", his old Master replied, "more then anyone else. The force is practically screaming it at you. You saw it yourself, didn't you, the destruction of the Jedi order?"

"I will stop it! I will stop it by fighting Vader and doing everything I can so no more Jedi will die in this war."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "You don't understand. Vader isn't the reason for this."

"How would you know? Even if it was a vision and not just a dream - I never saw who killed them. Did you?"

"No, but-"

"Then how would you know? How would you know that Vader isn't the one destroying the order?"

"I know it because he is the Chosen One."

Obi-Wan stared at him. "What?"

"That's right. The ancient prophecy was talking about him. He is the favorite of the force, the one who can break all the rules without having to fear the consequences. Tell me, have you ever in all those hours you mediated on his role, received any vision or advice, have you ever received a single hint what Vader plans or how to fight him?"

No. he hadn't.

Qui-Gon nodded as if answering his thoughts. "Neither have I. That is because the force is stronger in him then in anyone else. The living force is on his side and won't help anyone to take action against him. That is why I know that he is not to blame for the Jedi's destruction. If he were, the force wouldn't have warned us."

Obi-Wan turned away, not able to face the... the ghost anymore.

"It's not possible", he muttered more to himself then anyone else. "It can't be!"

Obi-Wan knew that both light and dark side existed in the living force but he could not believe that the first one to discover its greatest secret should be a dark Jedi working for a Sith Lord. The ultimate acceptance of the force was something every Jedi strove for. If Qui-Gon, who had always searched for ways to oppose the order even before he'd left, was the first one to gain this acceptance then it meant that the Jedi were wrong. It meant that Obi-Wan's entire world was build on false truths. That prospect was... too horrible to even consider.

"Obi-Wan", Qui-Gon whispered and the Jedi thought he felt a light breeze. When he turned around Qui-Gon had laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Obi-Wan, I am sorry that we had to meet again like that. I truly am. I hoped you would eventually see the truth but I did not come here to convince you."

"Didn't you? Don't you just want me to... what, get me to replace you or something?"

"I supported Vader because he is the only one who can save the Jedi order. He was a champion for the light side and he was a champion for the dark side. The living force will make sure that he wins and I was only trying to get close to him to draw him back to the light."

"But instead you became dark yourself!"

"I had to meet him half way in order to reach him at all. He is not evil, Obi. He really does love his family."

"Well, he has an odd way of showing it!"

"Just as I love you."

"Because executing his own son isn't exac - what?"

"I love you, Obi-Wan, as if you were my own child. I admit that in the end I had almost forgotten how important that bond is. I want to apologize for the wounds I caused you but I also need to warn you."

"Warn... me?"

"Vader has a personal hatred for you and now that he isn't bound to the promise he made to me, he will come after you. Not today and not tomorrow but when he does get his hands on you, you will wish I would've killed you on Geonosis."

"How can he possibly have a personal hatred for me? I never did anything!"

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

"Maybe that has to do with all the lies coming out of your mouth."

"If you would just let me explain-"

"No, I don't want to hear anything of it! You may have used some kind of dark power to cheat death but that does not excuse the things you did and I won't be tricked into following your path."

"Obi-Wan-"

"No!" The Jedi turned away and grabbed another book, throwing it right through Qui-Gon's face.

"Leave me alone!"

"But-"

"I don't want to hear it!"

Qui-Gon sighed again, deeper this time and lowered the hand that had tried to reach out for his former padawan.

"Very well, if that is what you want", he replied. "I just want you to know one last thing... I forgive you."

Obi-Wan pressed his eyes closed, his back turned to the apparition of his old Master. There was something suspiciously wet in the corner of his eyes.

"I have watched you these past weeks, watched you fighting your own demons, suffering under your guilt. You are the most stubborn student I ever had. Talented, intelligent and oh so good with words. Still you are as steadfast and unyielding as the rest of the order and without the ability to bend and adapt, I fear you will be crushed under the waves of the coming war. The world needs people like you to build its foundations but you are adhering to old and outdated beliefs. You are witnessing the end of an era. This war will burn down all the old buildings, even those with a foundation as strong as the Jedi temple. If you want to survive, you have to stop grieving and blaming yourself and start to open your eyes and look at the world around you or you'll miss it when it starts changing. I don't want to lose you again."

Obi-Wan was silent for a couple of moments. There was such a huge lump in his throat, he simply could not speak. Finally he turned around, wanting to tell Qui-Gon just what he thought about his kriffing forgiveness - but his Master was nowhere to be seen anymore. Obi-Wan was alone in his room.

XxX

Anakin had a strange dream. It was the sort of dream where you knew you were dreaming but without the symbolism that often accompanied a force vision. He was sitting on top of a mountain, looking down at a rich countryside that reminded him vaguely of Naboo. He wasn't in his own body either. Instead he seemed to be some kind of small animal. A lizard, most likely, judging from how good the sun felt on his skin.

Suddenly however the sky darkened as thick rain clouds moved over it. A mighty roar could be heard and Anakin raised his head to see a gigantic black dragon appear from a far away mountain. The dragon began spitting fire at the cities below. Anakin was forced to watch as houses and people and animals alike began burning and there was nothing he could do to help them.

Then he heard the flapping of great wings and a powerful breeze almost knocked him off his rock. He looked around and saw an eagle with brown and white feathers land on a nearby low tree. At first he was afraid, thinking maybe the eagle would eat him (since he was currently a lizard) but it just regarded him with deep, strangely familiar eyes.

"Hello Anakin", the eagle greeted him calmly. The Jedi was a bit too distracted by the sharp claws to notice the amusement in his eyes.

"Who are you?", he wanted to know.

"I am your Masters former teacher, Qui-Gon Jinn. Or rather, the spirit of him."

As it usually is in dreams, Anakin wasn't the least bit surprised. "What are you doing in my dream?"

"I came to ask a favor of you. Obi-Wan is struggling with guilt after killing me. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't listen."

"That doesn't sound like him." Obi-Wan wasn't called the Negotiator for nothing. He listened to other people 24/7.

"Well, he got quite angry at me. It seems he blames everything bad that happens on Vader and does not even want to consider I might have joined him for my own reasons. I'm afraid his feelings could lead to an unhealthy obsession and I need to you to protect him from such a fate."

"Angry? My Master?", Anakin repeated incredulously. "What did he do?"

Qui-Gon sighed, which was a very odd sound for an eagle. "He threw a book at me"; he admitted. "Twice."

Anakin snorted. "So that's why you came to me in a dream when I'm a helpless lizard."

"That was pure coincidence", Qui-Gon defended himself. "Although that is some pretty nice symbolism you got here." He turned his head to watch the roaring dragon in the distance. "I can assure you however that the difference in power level between the two of you is not as big as you think."

Anakin didn't understand. "Symbolism?"

"...forget about it. I just need you to keep an eye on Obi-Wan. Do you think you can do that?"

"Of course", Anakin answered. "I'm doing that anyway. But..." There was something else he had wanted to ask but he got distracted so easily.

"Right, how is that that you talked to him at all? Or me for that matter?"

"Upon my death I became a part of the living force."

"But you went dark, didn't you?"

"You don't have to be light to become part of the force for it includes both a light and a dark side. You have to accept who you are and what the force is. Light and dark is always present. How much they show in the living word is only dependent on the people."

"Wait, so are you kinda immortal now? Please tell me you didn't teach my father this stuff!"

"No", Qui-Gon answered and Anakin let out a breath of relief. That was before the eagle continued: "He knew it already before I met him."

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Unfortunately, no."

"I don't want my father to die... I think. I most certainly don't want to be the one who kills him. But I don't thing the galaxy will survive having to endure him forever either."

"Oh, he will die, eventually. Force spirits can only talk to other force sensitives. But with an unlimited knowledge of the future and as much... presence as he would still have in this form, He could still do some serious damage if he so chooses."

"Great. So basically you're telling me we're doomed either way."

"On the contrary. No fate is set in stone, Anakin. Vader is the living proof of that. Whatever plan the world has for the Jedi, the Sith and everyone else, Vader can change it with but a single decision. I believe we both agree that it would be irresponsible to turn the galaxy over to his moods like that. His role is one of a kind but of all people you, Anakin, are the only one who has a chance of changing his mind and directing his power in controlled ways."

"No pressure, huh?", the lizard replied dryly. "But how do I know the right direction?"

"Obi-Wan will tell you", Qui-Gon said. "But only if he doesn't lose his own way. He needs you as much as you need him. You have to take care of him."

"I will", Anakin promised. "I won't let him down." The 'unlike you' went unspoken.

"That's all I can ask for", the eagle replied. Then he raised his head to the sky, musing. "It is time for you to wake up, young Jedi."

Down in the valley, the black dragon had set most of the landscape aflame by now. The fire was roaring high, so high it seemed to reach the sky itself. Clouds swirled around, the heat from the earth disrupting the weather and calling forth a storm. In no time the world around the small lizard fell apart as the eagle took flight.

With a start, Anakin woke up. He was sweating, his hands shaking and there was an annoying ring in his ear. At least he could do something about the last one.

Still tired the Jedi reached out to shut off the alarm. It was then that he remembered which day it was. Today he'd have his trial. He was to step in front of the Council and explain why he'd thought it was a good idea to free a prisoner with important information about the war that had officially started when the inhabitants of over thirty systems had rebelled against the people of their Republic outposts or governments, all under the flag of the newly found Confederacy of Independent Systems. Not surprisingly, most of them had been under the unofficial rule of some sort of criminals who were reported to belong to Vader's network.

Anakin's solo mission could be considered an act of treason but there were several things that stood in his favor. First of all, he was a Jedi. He was supposed to protect the peace and organizing an exchange of prisoners to save a senator was certainly more in his line of duties then letting that prisoner be tortured for information. Then there was the fact that he had never been officially released from his mission to protect Padme Amidala 'with any means necessary'. Padme of course had emphasized this point, saying that he had still acted as her bodyguard. The Jedi had been in charge of the military assault on Geonosis but after their failure, the senate seriously considered refusing them control of the clone army. Luckily the Chancellor was one of the people supporting Anakin's decision. According to him he had had to decide whose command to follow, the Jedi's council or the senate's. He had decided to further serve the Republic government and that certainly could not be called treason. As such, Anakin had been discharged from all accusations by the law. That did not mean however, that he wasn't going to face disciplinary measures from the Jedi order. At first he thought that his ruffled state was simply his own nervousness. There were lingering faint reminders of a nightmare at the edges of his consciousness but he couldn't dwell on that much longer. Anakin would be damned if he was late today. He'd already had his 'trial', today he would listen to the Councils decision of what to do with him. It was entirely possible that they would expel him. It was within their rights. Anakin had been well aware of that when he'd freed the Sith. He just hadn't cared. He still found it hard to regret his choice, even if they did throw him out.

Anakin had talked about it with Padme. He had never thought he'd have any chance to be together with her but after Geonosis... Let's just say he'd gained new hope. Two months ago the prospect of being expelled would have horrified him. Now, it didn't. Now, he had someone to go to. Someone other then his crazy, warmongering father.

He would stay with the Jedi if they allowed it. He would stay as long as he could but Padme was now his first priority. He would stay with her no matter what. He would protect her. He'd promised. But even though the young senator was becoming increasingly important to him with each passing day, he still had other friends that he didn't want to abandon. Like Obi-Wan. Especially Obi-Wan.

Anakin scowled, feeling as if he was missing something. Obi-Wan could look out for himself, couldn't he? Then why did he suddenly feel that strong urge to see after him? For a second the image of an eagle flashed in front of his inner eye but it didn't make much sense to him.

Whatever. He would accept the Council's decision and if it was to expel him, well, there was a war coming. The army would need talented pilots and he was sure he could make it into Obi-Wan's squad even if he wasn't his student anymore.

Anakin made himself ready for the day and headed for the Council's chambers. He was half an hour early and waited for his Master to arrive but he didn't show. That made him scowl. His Master had promised that he'd be here today to support him. While he agreed that the exchange had been necessary, he wasn't particularly happy about the way Anakin had gone about it. According to him it was a small miracle that he hadn't been caught and hold prisoner himself. When he'd said that Vader would most likely not try to kill him and thus he would be a valuable asset in the war (which was really only another word for tool), he hadn't meant he should exploit his position like that. It could easily backfire and make people question his loyalties.

Time was up and Obi-Wan still wasn't there.

Meanwhile Obi-Wan Kenobi stood in a small platform in one of the towers of the Jedi temple, looking down on Corruscant. He would've preferred to just stay in his bed all day but found out he couldn't stand being in his room right now. It was as if the presence of his dead Master still lingered there.

It was crazy. Obi-Wan had no reason to feel guilty about Qui-Gons death. He'd been a traitor. He'd lost his way. It was mercy of him to end his suffering, a favor to the image of his old Master, a true Jedi. Obi-Wan had done the right thing. Then why, just why did it feel so wrong?

Obi-Wan sighed and stared at the sun climbing up the sky. Suddenly there was something ringing in the back of his mind. He quickly checked his watch and surpressed a curse. He had lost track of time. Anakin should be with the Council now. They would decide where his future was going to lead him and Obi-Wan was supposed to be there. He had promised.

Immediately the Jedi felt bad as he made his way down the stairs. His Padawan was in trouble - might even get expelled - and he wasn't there to support him. What kind of rubbish Master was he!? Could it be that he was somehow cursed, that he had some kind of bad influence on people that both his Padawan and his Master had disobeyed the Jedi Council?

Obi-Wan didn't make it in time. When he got to the chambers, the doors were just opening, a stream of people coming out. He spotted Anakin amongst them and immediately felt relieved to see he didn't look devastated. A little confused maybe but not as if his whole world had just been crushed.

"Anakin", he called out and the boy caught his eyes, smiling weakly.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier", he apologized at once.

"It's okay"; Anakin replied to his surprise. He had half expected him to complain, to look at him with those hurt eyes, and make him hate himself even more.

"I know you've been somewhat distracted lately."

"I... I'm sorry", he just repeated, at a loss of words. "I should have been there, as your Master..."

"Well, you're not my Master anymore", Anakin returned.

An ice cold feeling suddenly spread in his stomach. "What?", He managed to get out.

"I'm not your Padawan anymore. I'm not anyone's Padawan."

Oh my god, Obi-Wan thought, they expelled him.

"I'm a fully fledged Jedi knight now."

"...what!?"

"You're not very creative today, are you?"

"I... I'm sorry, this is just... unexpected."

Anakin huffed. "I should've been promoted a week ago according to schedule. The Council let me get away with a warning and decided not to take back their offer."

On Obi-Wan's face the first true smile in weeks appeared. "That's great news, Anakin. I'm really happy for you. When is the ceremony?"

"No ceremony. It was an on-the-spot promotion. I guess they don't want me to think I'm getting rewarded for breaking the rules."

"Then you got off lightly."

"I guess. They don't want me to go and take part in any fighting though. Instead I'm going on a bunch of diplomatic missions trying to convince our allies that we have a chance at winning this disaster of a war."

"That's a lot of responsibility."

"It's not! They just want to test my patience. It's not like it's a secret that I hate politics. I would rather fight up front but according to Master Yoda, I can't be trusted with the lives of soldiers." He scrunched up his face as if he had tasted something bad. "This is a job for you."

"Thanks, Anakin."

"You know how I mean it. You're the one who's good at talking. Besides, I'm not sure we actually can defeat Vader. I mean, have you seen his fleet? That's a pretty damn impressive ship he's got there. How can I convince a bunch of lazy politicians that they're not going to be blast into pieces when I don't believe it myself?" Or would like to join in on the fun, but he didn't say that aloud.

"You will just have to patient", Obi-Wan said. "Trust in the force and let it guide you. The light will always win over the dark, as long as we are strong and determined."

"If you say so..."

Obi-Wan smiled slightly and laid a hand on his former Padawans shoulder. "I believe in you, Anakin. You will make a great knight. We will need you at the front soon enough. You should enjoy the little peace you have as long as you can."

Anakins face lit up somewhat. "You know what? You're right. Maybe some time spent traveling around will do me good after all."

"Uhm... Happy to help?", Obi-Wan answered, somewhat thrown off by the sudden change of mood.

He didn't know that Anakin was already planning his first diplomatic trip - to Naboo. He wanted to make sure that Padme was fine. There had been so little opportunities to see her during the last weeks. He wanted to ensure that their new relationship that he had worked and suffered so hard for wouldn't die out. Maybe he could visit her on Naboo, spend some more time with her, maybe searching for a ring...

Anakin started himself at that last though but soon after, a silly smile spread on his face. Yes, that was a great idea. It had been so hard to get her to admit her feelings for him. He wouldn't let her go now, or ever. He wanted to be with her forever. Love had done crazy things to his head. It would be complicated now that he wasn't going to get expelled after all but he was sure he could make it. He wasn't ever letting her get away from him!

XxX

AN: So... even if I do say people are dead, they can still come back! ;-)

Of course Qui-Gon won't be playing a large role anymore... but maybe a small one.

I know that we're moving awfully slow here but these chapters are nessesary for character development. Also I really, REALLY wanted to write that scene when Obi-Wan threw books at Qui-Gon's ghost. Somewhere I read that when Qui-Gon first visited Yoda to try and teach him how to (die properly) become one with the living force, the tiny gnome thought he had hallucinations. It was just so hilarious I had to write something similiar.

On another note (!) we passed the 100.000 word mark. And no, I didn't make the chap extra long for that, it was so I wouldn't have to put a time skip in the middle of a chappie.

Thanks to everyone who stayed with me so far and congratulations for every new reader who wasn't scared off by the word count. You drove away my writers block, I'm full of enthusiasm again!