AN: Heylo again! Don't have much to say so enjoy!
"Merlin! What?" Arthur exclaimed staring at Merlin's eyes. Merlin looked away quickly. "Merlin your eyes!"
Merlin glanced at Arthur uneasily with those strange glowing eyes. "Ah… yes… they don't look normal do they?" Merlin asked scratching the back of his head.
Arthur gulped. "No, I would say they definitely do not look normal."
Merlin did not seem eager to give a forthcoming answer to that.
"Why are they… not normal?" Arthur asked.
Merlin sighed. "The answer is… complicated…"
Arthur did not respond to that, and Merlin did not sound like he was going to continue. Arthur rubbed his eyes roughly with his hands.
"What happened after we escaped?" he asked.
Merlin stared off into space. "We came home, everyone was busy tending to you. I kind of got overlooked," Merlin said, and Arthur could hear the hurt in his voice. "I mean, I was not physically injured so there was really nothing to notice."
Arthur shook his head. "That does not matter, they are your friends. I still don't understand why no one noticed something was wrong." He watched Merlin carefully. "Didn't any of them notice something was wrong? Didn't any of them ask?"
Merlin's brow furrowed. "They asked, but I never told them anything, and they were always busy, always distracted."
Arthur frowned. It made no sense that these people would not notice Merlin's plight, especially Gwaine and Gaius, but even Gwen would normally notice that something was off about Merlin. The fact that he had been captured for so long would be enough to make any person worry. Arthur planned on figuring out exactly what happened once he was out of here.
"So, Garlock stayed in your head," he said.
Merlin nodded. "He continued to change my memories. I tried to fight him, but there wasn't anything I could do except destroy the memories like before. Still, I hadn't given up hope that I could defeat him, not until you awoke." Merlin's eyes met Arthur's and Arthur was forced to look away. He could not help it, those glowing eyes were just so strange. "When you awoke the desire to kill you was stronger than ever." Merlin's tone changed, but Arthur could not quite place the emotion. He looked up and saw anger lighting up Merlin's already luminescent eyes. Merlin stood up, towering over Arthur, his voice increasing in volume as he spoke.
"You have killed those of my kind, those with magic! You have persecuted the druids! Driven out the last of the dragons! You are afraid of anything that has to do with magic and are as close minded as your father!" Merlin was practically shouting now. Arthur stood up quickly, grabbing Merlin by the shoulders and shaking him.
"Merlin!" he shouted, successfully silencing Merlin for the moment. "Things have changed since my father ruled! You know that! Magic is still outlawed, but its people are no longer hunted as they once were. We are at peace with the druids! And the dragons are all dead! I have accepted you for who you are despite my feelings towards magic! How can you say that I am as close minded as my father?"
Merlin shrugged off Arthur's hands, staring at him with the same menacing hate. "My father is dead because of you."
Arthur's hands, which had continued reaching out to Merlin even as he pulled away, dropped to his sides in defeat. "I know. And I'm responsible for Will's death too and whoever this girl was, though I have no idea who she is."
"NEITHER DO I!" Merlin shouted pacing forward threateningly. "I have sacrificed everything for you!"
"I know!" Arthur shouted back. "And I will spend the rest of my life trying to repay you."
"There's only one thing you have to do, Arthur," Merlin said dangerously.
"Anything…" Arthur offered.
"DIE!" Merlin launched himself at Arthur, and Arthur prepared himself, trying to remember what Merlin had said about not letting the things of this world harm him. But his preparation was unnecessary.
Merlin stopped, his hands inches form Arthur's neck. He shook so hard that Arthur was afraid he would fall over. He stared at his hands in horror.
"I…I…" he backed up, still staring at his hands.
Arthur stepped forward carefully, holding a hand out to Merlin. Merlin looked at Arthur, turning his attention away from his hands.
"I'm… Arthur… I'm sorry." he said, very nearly breaking. Arthur stepped forward and grabbed onto Merlin, holding both his shoulders firmly in each hand, not as a restraint, but as a comfort.
"It's alright. It's not your fault, it's alright," he murmured to Merlin over and over again until the warlock's breathing calmed and he was able to focus again.
"I can't keep doing this, Arthur," Merlin murmured.
"We're going to beat him, Merlin. I promise." Merlin turned his searching eyes to Arthur.
"How?" he asked.
Arthur gulped as he searched for an answer of his own. "Tell me what Garlock was searching for," he urged. "What was the key that he so desperately wanted to find?"
Merlin hesitated for only a moment before he spoke, "Garlock has manipulated almost all of my memories, all but these few in this room. He knew that there must be something else that kept my loyalty to you, because everything else, my whole being, everything I believe is now focused on killing you."
"But you haven't," Arthur stated.
Merlin shook his head. "No, there's still one thing holding me back."
"What's that?" Arthur asked.
Merlin smiled slightly. "Instinct."
Arthur frowned. "Instinct?"
Merlin nodded. "Yes. There are certain things that Garlock has yet to control. Things that are more than memory, but are made of instinct. Like my magic and my loyalty to you."
Arthur gave Merlin an incredulous look. "Your loyalty to me is an instinct?" he asked disbelievingly.
Merlin shrugged. "I know, it doesn't make sense, being loyal to a clotpole like yourself," he joked.
"Where are these instincts?" he asked.
Merlin stared at Arthur. "In my eyes."
Arthur's own eyes widened. "Your eyes?" he asked. He laughed and shook his head. "You truly have a strange mind, Merlin."
Merlin grinned at him weakly. Arthur smiled back, but the expressions faded from their faces.
"Could I see these instincts? Like I saw your memories?"
Merlin shifted uncomfortably, looking hesitant. "You'd have to enter a deeper part of my mind…"
Arthur shrugged. "I've come this far."
"It's not as simple as that Arthur. That is where the essence of who I am lies. If I let you in, you could damage that."
Arthur processed this a moment before responding. "Merlin, if I see these instincts, maybe I can help find something to defeat Garlock. I don't know what else to do. You need to trust me. I don't want you to change."
Merlin did not look thoroughly convinced as he studied Arthur, but finally nodded taking a deep breath and letting it out.
"Alright, look into my eyes," he said.
Arthur frowned, but shook off the weirdness as he moved in front of Merlin and stared into the glowing eyes. As he stared, he saw an image, much like the ones reflected in the crystals. Within the blue of Merlin's natural eye, a glowing orb floated peacefully… a very familiar glowing orb.
As Arthur inspected it further it grew until it was floating in front of him. When he looked around he was no longer in the cave, but an empty blackness surrounded him. No walls or windows, just darkness and emptiness broken only by the light of the orb in front of him.
"What is it?" Arthur asked, not knowing who he was asking until he heard Merlin's voice.
"This is everything that I am," the voice spoke. The orb pulsed with each word. "This is my instinct, my strongest desire… this is my magic." Arthur stared at the orb in awe.
"I know this light," he said almost wistfully.
The light flickered as Merlin laughed. "Yes, I once used it to save your life."
Arthur nodded. "I remember," he said. "All this time, you've been looking out for me."
"That was the moment that everything changed," Merlin explained. "Although I don't remember it very well. I was delirious at the time, but that was when I knew that you would be a great king, and that you were worth protecting," he said. "This orb is a representation of that memory, because that memory is the reason Garlock cannot hinder my loyalties."
Arthur reached a hand out to touch the orb. It passed right through the bubble and into the cool interior. The waves of light pooled over and around his hand, wrapping it in their cool embrace. What he felt was power, beyond anything he had ever known or experienced. He realized that because he was in this part of Merlin's mind he now controlled what happened. He could block Merlin's magic, keep him from using it ever again, and things could go back to normal with Merlin as nothing more than his manservant and friend… Or he could take this power from Merlin, make it his own, use it to defeat his enemies and conquer more lands. In his mind he saw Camelot prospering with this power under his command. He saw his enemies cowering at his feet.
He smiled as he realized with this power he could conquer the world. Sorcerers like Garlock would never harm him again.
AN: So the eyes thing was by far one of my weirder ideas. I got the idea through photo manipulation when I was working on the cover for this story. Despite being a bit weird I think it worked out pretty well. It really is fun to watch stories bloom, some of it came from my friends, some from the photo manipulation and some popped up while I was writing.
Well I hope to be posting again soon, as always leave a review!
God bless!