Bella was frustrated.
She changed into a clean shirt and then struggled with fresh pair of jeans. She had just taken a shower, so her legs were damp and the jeans stuck to her skin. She had refused to leave the hospital so Edward set up shop in the room next to Charlie. It had taken a fair amount of begging and pleading to persuade Carlisle to move the original occupants elsewhere. This at least allowed her regular access to a bed and shower.
As far as the rest of the hospital staff was concerned, Edward was an admitted patient and Carlisle was the only doctor permitted to see him. The nurses knew who he was and despite their flirtatious thoughts, gave him a fairly wide berth out of respect for Carlisle.
Bella had to admit that Edward looked the part of a sick patient; his pale skin was chalkier than usual and his eyes were nearly black. She couldn't remember the last time he had fed and she knew he wouldn't be able to last much longer.
Edward still maintained that he wasn't going to leave her side, ever, but Bella knew for a fact that he would never take her hunting with him. She figured that was her one and only chance to get away. No one else in the family kept such a close watch on her. They underestimated her, but Bella thought that was an advantage. Maybe her only advantage when it came to the Cullens…
"Bella?" Edward called, knocking on the bathroom door.
She didn't answer. She was tired, tired of pretending that she was okay. Bella just needed a few minutes to herself, where no vampires could hear her or feel her, so she could just be. She wanted to be able to cry in complete privacy.
The door opened and Edward tentatively entered.
"Are you all right?" he asked quietly, looking at her drawn expression.
Bella wasn't sure what to say. Of course she wasn't all right, but Edward knew that. She couldn't open up and pour all of her emotions on to Edward. He was the most fragile of the Cullens, and the one that she needed the most. She would spare him anything that could possibly hurt him.
"Yes, I'm fine," Bella nodded. She turned away from him and bit her lip; she found that sometimes the sharp pain temporarily warded off tears. She picked up a brush and began raking it through her snarled, damp tangles.
His cool hand closed over her wrist, stopping her, and he took the brush away. Bella closed her eyes and allowed him to brush her hair. He worked quickly and efficiently, lock by lock, beginning at the ends so he didn't pull her hair.
She stayed still until he was done and she heard the brush placed onto the countertop.
"Bella," Edward said thickly.
Bella kept her eyes closed tightly, suddenly afraid, and felt his lips press a cold kiss to the base of her neck. His hands rested on her waist and he brought his mouth to her ear.
"I would do anything to take back everything that has happened to you," he whispered. "I would take back every kiss, every touch - every glimpse I ever had of you, if I could only give you back your life."
She shook her head, unable to speak. She would burst into tears, into the complete breakdown that loomed dangerously close on the horizon, and then she would be worthless. Bella struggled to lock it all back down.
"I understand," he said in a low, husky voice. He pulled away from her and her body instantly craved his touch, his comfort.
Bella whirled around but he had already left the bathroom. She ran into the hallway and spotted him, forced to maintain a human speed because of the nurses.
"Edward!" she shouted hoarsely.
He stopped and looked at her and Bella wanted to hit him, to scream at him and beat into his thick skull how much she loved him.
"He would have gotten me the very first day if it wasn't for you," Bella said angrily. "That day in the woods. He would have killed me then if it wasn't for you."
Edward remained silent, watching her, oblivious to the curious looks of the nearby nurses.
"So, just stop, okay?" she asked. Bella heard her voice crack and she quickly cleared her throat. "Just stop. Come back and stay with me, because I need you. I need you right now."
He looked down, his eyes narrowed and dark. Bella swallowed hard, waiting for him to reach for the doorknob that lead to the stairs. She was sure that her heart would simply shatter if he walked away from her.
When he finally brought his eyes to meet hers, Edward looked ashamed. He put his hands into his pockets and quickly covered the distance between them.
"You can't tell me you don't regret this," he said sadly, his voice hushed.
"Shut up," Bella replied crossly. She grabbed his wrist and yanked his hand out of his pocket so she could hold it. "We're not doing this again."
She tugged him forward, to Charlie's room, and he followed her but Bella could feel his reluctance. Edward froze and Bella jerked to a stop, not at all prepared for his sudden immobility.
"What?" she frowned. "Come on."
The door to Charlie's room opened up and Carlisle and Alice walked out of it. They stopped talking when they saw her. Alice straightened and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Her eyes flickered away from Bella's face and down to the floor.
"What is it?" Bella asked, looking back at Edward.
"Bella," Carlisle began gently, reaching out for her hand.
Bella jerked away from him and shoved in between him and Alice to get to the door. She opened it and walked in, looking at Charlie and the beeping machines around him.
"I don't understand," Bella said slowly. Confusion clouded her mind. Everything looked the same. Charlie was okay. She turned to face the three Cullens, who had followed her inside. Carlisle shut the door behind them.
Bella crossed her arms. She was suddenly extremely uncomfortable. For the first time ever, she felt separate from the Cullens. Different. Bella edged closer to Charlie's bed. It felt like it was her and Charlie against the Cullens.
"What?" she asked again.
Carlisle stepped forward. He looked the part of a doctor; the white coat, the stethoscope hanging around his neck. He wore a crisp white collared shirt and his tie was navy-striped.
"I know we discussed Charlie's condition earlier, Bella. It seems like a few things have changed since then. His brain waves have stopped responding to…."
Bella let Carlisle's voice fade out. The only thing she heard was "stopped responding." Whatever else he said after that was simply not important. Nothing else that he said would change the bottom line. It was bad news.
"Just tell me," Bella interrupted. "In plain English."
Bella felt her cheeks flame as they looked at her with pity. Once again, she fell short of their standards. It was painfully clear that Alice and Edward understood all of the medical jargon. They probably could have diagnosed Charlie's condition themselves.
"He's getting worse," Carlisle said bluntly.
Bella was expecting those words. In fact, part of her was even grateful that Carlisle had been so honest with her. She asked for it, after all. Still…it felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. She fought to breathe in enough to speak.
"Worse…like what?" she asked, struggling to keep her composure.
"He has stopped responding to any kind of stimuli. He's deeper into his coma than he was. The longer a person is in a coma, the less chance they have of waking up. For his condition to worsen so early…" Carlisle trailed off. "I'm sorry, Bella."
"So…that's it?" Bella asked in disbelief. She felt her helpless grief turning, changing into something else. Soon white-hot rage ran through her veins. "That's it?!"
Alice quickly stepped forward but Bella stepped aside, away from her. She ignored the hurt in her eyes.
"No! That's not good enough!" Bella cried. She looked back at Charlie and was overwhelmed with emotion. Her father - always so big and strong and larger than life - was pale and shrunken. He was well-known and feared, he was a figure of authority.
He couldn't spend the rest of his life like this. Charlie would rather die than be kept in a bed living off of machines and the help of strangers. He was too proud. She couldn't let that happen. Bella looked back at Carlisle. She wouldn't let that happen.
"Change him, Carlisle," she said in a steady voice.
The same shock was present in all of their eyes. Carlisle's expression changed first, to one of sympathy and understanding. It made Bella angrier.
"No! I don't want to hear it! You can do this, I know you can!" Bella said desperately. She knew her voice sounded hysterically and she was trying so hard to hold on. "I never asked for this. I didn't ask for any of this! I can't lose him, too. I can't do it. Change him! Please, please change him, Carlisle, I'll do anything."
She burst into tears and slid down to the floor, holding onto Charlie's bed with one hand. She covered her face and sobbed, unable to speak or think or even breathe.
"Oh, Bella," Alice whispered. She looked at Carlisle and what she wanted was clear. "We have to do something."
Carlisle looked to his son…but Edward was gone.
Alice rushed over to Bella and sank down onto her knees, wrapping her arms around Bella's sobbing frame.
"Oh, Bella," she whispered, smoothing her hair back and holding her tightly.
"Anything," Bella cried, her voice muffled by her hands. She leaned forward and curled into a ball. "I'll do anything, I promise."
"Carlisle," Alice said sharply. "You need to get Edward.
"What have you seen?" he asked at once, already by the door.
"Nothing," Alice admitted, her voice frustrated. "I never see anything. It's always empty because of the stupid wolves. They're so closely involved. But it's Edward…you know Edward."
Carlisle nodded and was gone just as quickly as Edward.
Night had already fallen. Bella sat on the couch in the living room at the Cullen's. Emmett was glaring at her from across the room. There had been no word from Edward and no one was able to find him.
Bella had reluctantly left the hospital under Alice, Rosalie and Esme's watchful eyes. They decided that it was safer, for everyone, if Bella was tucked away in the Cullen's house. Alice said she would stay behind and watch Charlie, but Bella saw the way she exchanged glances with Jasper.
Jasper hadn't thought anyone should stay with Charlie. Black had already done his damage to Charlie, and besides, what else could he do to him? Jasper had said it in a much kinder way, but Bella knew what his point was. Charlie Swan was gone. The shell that laid in the hospital bed was a body of bones, just waiting to die.
The soldier in him told the family that they needed to protect what they had left, which was Bella. They had to find that which they lost, meaning Edward. Finally, and maybe most importantly, they had to track down that which meant to cause them harm. Meaning, obviously, Jim Black was going to meet his fate very soon.
Bella had never before seen Carlisle angry…but when Jasper began detailing their attack on the wolves, Carlisle turned whiter than white with rage. First they spoke about it and then they started sniping at each other, until they were actually yelling at each other.
Esme stepped in and broke them up before the argument could turn worse. She also settled the disagreement. Jasper, Alice and Rosalie were to split up and search for Edward before he could do anything stupid. Esme and Carlisle were meeting with the elders of the Quileutes to give them an ultimatum. Either they hand over Black, who they had to be protecting, or there would be a war.
A small part of her felt guilty for causing so much strife in the Cullen family. There would be a war…that she did not doubt. But the larger part of Bella simply didn't care. She was angry - angry at Black, at the Quileutes, angry at the world. She wanted to hurt them.
Still… all of those parts of her couldn't compare to the biggest part of Bella. Her heart. It ached for Edward, to know that he was safe. It ached for her father and her mother.
She sighed and picked at her nail, ignoring Emmett's glare. He was still mad at her about the whole bloody mouth incident.
"It sucks that they left you here to do the babysitting," Bella said nonchalantly.
Emmett grunted and turned on the television.
"I would want to be in on the action," she continued.
Emmett paused and turned to look at her. "Bella, I'm not stupid. You aren't going to reverse psychology me into leaving you here alone."
Bella pursed her lips and inwardly cursed him. She didn't even get far enough into it to stroke his ego.
"I would feel better if you were out there," Bella said honestly. Emmett glanced at her and she continued, encouraged. "You're stronger than any of them, Emmett. I know that's why they left you with me…but I'm more worried about Edward. He's going to do something stupid and I…I don't think I'll be okay without him."
Emmett sighed and rubbed his face. "Edward knows what he's doing."
Bella rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. You know how Edward is with me… He gets too protective. I shouldn't have broken down like that in front of him. I didn't mean to. I would have never said any of that if I was thinking clearly."
"That's not your fault, Bells," Emmett said quietly. He switched off the television and crossed the room to sit next to her. He put a big arm over her shoulder. "You were upset."
"And I didn't even mean it like that!" Bella wailed, emotional all over again. "I didn't mean anything about you guys. I was talking about Jim Black. I love you guys…you don't have anything to do with what happened."
"I'm sure Edward knows that," Emmett said but his voice wasn't as convincing as he would have liked. Truthfully, Edward did have a habit of going off half-cocked when it came to Bella. He would have heard the worst in her words.
"You know he doesn't," Bella whispered, looking up at him with big, shiny eyes.
Emmett felt his resolve soften. He sensed trouble. Bella batted her eyes and the tears fell down her cheeks. She looked awful.
"Well…" Emmett trailed. She was right, after all. Edward was an idiot.
"He's going to get himself killed," Bella mumbled. "And it'll all be my fault. And I won't have anyone! No mother, no father, no Edward."
She dissolved into tears and felt Emmett freeze. She leaned into him and made sure to get his shirt wet. It wasn't too hard for her to start crying, given the circumstances. In fact, it was probably a bad idea to start because she wouldn't be able to stop…but Bella had a job to do. She worked the tears a bit harder, crying louder and using the hem of Emmett's shirt to wipe her eyes.
"It'll be okay," Emmett said awkwardly. He patted her back gently but Bella began crying harder. Big trouble.
"It won't be!" she cried, looking up at him. "Emmett, you know Jim isn't going to come here. Rose said he was injured when he…when he hurt my Dad. He's hiding. You need to go help them find Edward."
"Bella, I can't leave you," Emmett said firmly. Avoid the trouble.
Bella grabbed his face and held it tightly. "Emmett, do this for Edward. Please. I can't see him get hurt. I need him. He's finally been happy with me, right? He's different now?"
Bella saw the emotions on Emmett's face. He was torn. "Please, Emmett! If you don't get to him before he gets to the wolves, or Black, or wherever he is going… it's all for nothing.
"Bella," Emmett groaned. "I can't… You don't understand how… He's going to… You have to absolutely swear to me that you will stay here."
"I will!" Bella said quickly. "Oh, God, I will!"
"If you break this promise things will never be the same between us," Emmett said seriously. It pained him to think of how much shit he was going to get from Edward for this.
Bella swallowed hard. She could see that Emmett meant it. "I promise."
Five minutes later, Emmett was gone. Bella stared at the two handguns and three rifles that he had laid out on the kitchen table. He briefly described how to fire each one, then kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly. Now she was alone.
Bella grabbed the keys to Alice's newest toy. She figured Alice would be the most lenient if she wrecked her car, plus Bella remembered it being automatic.
Her eyes lingered on the guns. Taking one with her was an accident waiting to happen. Then, she thought of her father, all alone in the hospital, connected to a machine that kept him alive. Bella carefully picked up the two biggest rifles and carried them outside into the dark.
With Alice's car was purring quietly and the two rifles resting on the smooth leather seat next to her, Bella felt more calm. She checked her phone and dropped it into the center console.
Then she gunned it to the Quileute Reservation.
ohh, bella. ohhh, emmett. and ohhhhh, edward. we've got some big drama on the move!