Chp XXIV: New Life and New Plans
Disclaimer: Arrr matey! I sadly can't pilfer RWBY!
"Success is the effort you put in something." ~ ARC
"Ladies, gentlemen, where the hell are we?" Torchwick hissed.
"Nobody knows!" A hand dramatically appeared from the dumpster. "And why am I in a trash can?!"
"Shut up, Mercury!" Emerald fired.
"Can we all just be quiet and evaluate the situation?" asked Sienna. She stood up with the help of the wall. "As much as I hate to admit it, we're in this together."
"Hm," acknowledged Cinder, the gears in her mind already turning.
The dumpster toppled over and Mercury tumbled out. Garbage bags landed on top of him. He groaned.
"Gu-uys~location!" reminded Torchwick.
Adam glowered at him from his position on the ground. Admittedly, it was a bit difficult to appear menacing while flat on the ground and the bull faunus was no different.
He settled on scowling. It turned out to look more like pouting than anything else.
Cinder confidently (or as confident as she could with pudding legs anyways) walked out of the alleyway and into the bustling city.
She lost confidence right about when her first foot landed on the pavement. "Oum, why is there so many people?!"
She narrowly dodged a random pedestrian. Then promptly stumbling into another one. She ended up tumbling back into the alley.
"Look how impressive you are now." Torchwick sneered.
"Say no more and I'll spare your tongue."
Torchwick shut-upped.
"This place smells horrid." Sienna inhaled. She started coughing.
"Weaklings." Adam pushed himself off the ground. Sure, he wanted to cough just as much as Sienna, but dammit he had a reputation to uphold. "I'll show you how it's done."
He walked towards the opening to the city.
"Prick," he heard someone mutter.
They were so dead.
Adam decided to take utmost caution while trying to go out into the world. He tip-toed to the opening, back to the wall.
Thinking, all or nothing, he jumped out into the open night…
Bumping heads with a random more than average weight human in what seems like an uniform.
"Human." Adam growled.
"Woah there big guy! We're not here to hurt you." He pointed a thumb back at his buddy behind him.
"Liar," Adam muttered. "Now get out of my way!" He moved more sluggishly than he had in years but he managed to unsheathed his sword and waved it at the men.
"Oh jeez," muttered the second man.
A few people walking by eyed the situation. One even took out what looked like a mini-scroll and stopped. It looked like he was taking a damn video.
The second man placed a hand on the first man's shoulder. "I've got this." He moved in front of the first man.
"Look kid, I know cosplaying is a big thing nowadays but you really don't have to go that far."
From inside the alley, Torchwick laughed his head off. "Cosplaying! Cosplaying! T-that is golden!"
The first man facepalmed. "There's more of them…"
"I am not cosplaying!" Definitely not. Nope. Not that weird thing Blake had an obsession with when they were kids.
The men looked at each other.
"Okaaaay…look, why don't you come with us?"
"And why should I do that?"
"Because...oh jeez."
Man #2 opened his mouth to save his friend's butt. "How much do you like food?"
"Apparently this is called a hamburger." Emerald poked at her new discovery. "That's new."
"Mmhm." Mercury was too busy stuffing his face to answer.
"I wonder where they took Cinder and the others?" Emerald picked a piece off of the hamburger and popped it into her mouth. "Mm, tastes kinda like a portoast."
"This is probably the first time in my life when I don't even care that we're isolated in a locked white room," noted Mercury. He glanced at the bag the 'policeman' had given him. "I need to visit this 'McDonald's' when we're out of here. I mean, taste this McFlurry thingy!"
"I think they're going a little too far with their branding here...is it really necessary to have Mc at the beginning of every product?"
"I'm surprised you haven't started hyperventilating about 'dear' Cinder yet."
"I don't think those fat guys are going to be hurting Cinder anytime soon."
"Seriously. Those guys are the defense force they have around here?"
The door suddenly opened. Man #2 from the streets poked his head in. "You guys are cleared. Come on."
Mercury and Emerald looked at each other. They were pretty sure their criminal records were...a little less than clean.
Sienna Khan sighed. "You all owe me."
"How'd you bust us out?" asked Mercury.
"You don't need to know."
"Okay miss...what's your name?" The man sat in a chair opposite to Sienna.
Sienna Khan was many things but she was not a liar. "Sienna Khan," she said distractedly, eyes scanning her location.
"Weird name." The man wrote down something on a notepad. "But I've got to admit, real catchy."
One of Sienna's cat-ears twitched. "Yes, that was the point."
"I'm guessing you're one of those people that changed their names then." The police nodded to himself. "I've always wanted to change my name, y'know. It's Bob Ross by the way. You can see why I want to change my name."
Sienna, in fact, could not. "That's nice " she said shortly. "As it were…Bob...I believe I-and my companions-were not doing anything wrong per se…"
"You mean besides your one friend who was swinging a sword around."
"I apologize for his behavior, he is quite….rash."
"I was joking! The sword's practically made out of foam. That thing isn't hurting anyone anytime soon."
Sienna blinked once. Then twice. Then Bob's words finally registered in her brain. "WHAT?!"
Bob nearly fell out of his chair. His chair, thankfully, saved him or else Sienna may have been convicted of harm by exclamation.
"W-woah. D-did I say something?"
"The sword is practically made out of foam?!"
Bob gave her a confused expression. "Did your friend tell you it was real? It wasn't. Drake kinda broke it in half when your weapon-happy friend tried to stab him."
It was at this point that Sienna nearly decided to pull all four of her ears out from disbelief.
"Where are we?" She decided to ask because clearly this place, wherever it was, was the home to some kind of super technologically advanced civilization like in the movies.
"Uh...the police station."
"Police?"
"Y'know, people who keep the public safe and stuff." Bob frowned. "Were you raised under a rock or are you like, from way out of the country?"
Sienna decided that 'country' was probably synonymous with 'kingdom' and knowing how Atlas liked to treat its foreigners..."Yes...I'm very far out of the country. Me and my compatriots are out here because-I mean, on a vacation and I would appreciate some information."
Then Sienna flashed her most winning smile, something she hadn't had to use in nearly ten years because she was on top of the metaphorical totem pole.
"Ooooh, that would make sense. Got lost in Times Square? Heh, takes some getting used to. Y'know, my dad brought us all the way from Italy to the States and boy was it hard. And then when we went back to visit Italy-"
"That's nice," interrupted Sienna, slightly twitching because she had no idea what and where 'Times Square', 'Italy', and 'the States' were. "Perhaps you should just get me a map."
"Will do, anything else?" Bob looked just eager to help. A pity humans rarely were to faunus. Sienna decided he was alright for what he was.
"Yes, do you know anything about the faunus population in this kingdom?"
Bob blinked. "What's a faunus? Does it have anything to do with fauna? I'm pretty sure the plural of fauna is faunas."
Thus lead to a one hour conversation on the not-existence of faunus which ultimately ended with the police officers laughing about 'furries' and Sienna Khan being very very lost
And that's how she ended up with a Brochure of the World, a free ticket out of police custody, and a mentor named Bob Ross.
She was not aware Bob was a color or represented a color. (A/N: If you didn't know, there is a Color Naming Code on Remnant where all people and teams have to be named after a color or something that can represent a color)
"I thought you didn't like humans," noted Cinder drily.
They randomly walked around the city, not having anywhere to go and being completely broke as it were.
"Apparently faunus don't exist, so my dislike is suspended at the moment," said Sienna.
Emerald eyed the passersby. "No faunus? How does that work? How do you know?"
"I know because I asked. They found the idea hilarious. Apparently 'furries' would be very excited at the possibility though."
"What's a furry?" asked Mercury.
He got collective shrugs from his companions.
Torchwick coughed. "Can I just say that...Adam here is apparently not going to be suspending that dislike with humans anytime soon because he looks royally pissed but maybe that's just his default face, who knows? Anyways, point is, he isn't too happy."
Adam growled. He, in fact, was grieving for the lost of Wilt, his trusty sword for stabbing humans that could not stab humans anymore.
"I also wanted to ask: what the hell is going on?!" Torchwick said a little louder and a lot more insistently.
Sienna was still feeling very cold from her disturbing revelations that did not make any ounce of sense. "I...I don't-"
It was at this point that Mercury's eyes widened. "Oh. My. Oum."
"What?" asked Emerald. She shook him. "What?"
Mercury pointed at a giant yellow M on one of the shortest tallest buildings he's ever seen. "McDonald's."
Emerald's mouth dropped opened. "...now I can see why they can afford branding everything."
Mercury started running towards pure heaven. He is grabbed by the cuff by Sienna. "In case you didn't notice, we have none of the currency used by the inhabitants of this city."
"Then just steal some," suggested Emerald sensibly.
Cinder was too busy thinking about world domination to really pay attention to the conversation at hand. From what she knew, they had been transported from a place far away from anywhere else on Remnant, meaning that no one knew who she was. That her criminal record was basically null.
Yes, this time, perhaps she should work from the inside out...mwahahaha.
"-Cinder?" asked Emerald.
"What?" she hissed.
Emerald flinched. "I-I was wondering if we should try to steal money…"
"Do it," commanded Cinder distractedly. "Sienna, what do you have on this kingdom?"
Sienna handed Cinder the brochure she had gotten at the police station. "Not kingdom," she said and took a deep breath.
Cinder didn't bother really listening to her. She opened the map and stared, then blinked. She blinked again. "...what?"
On the brochure was a map Cinder was pretty sure looked like a six year old's discarded drawing.
"...this doesn't look right."
"No, it doesn't," agreed Sienna. "Do you realize what this means?"
"They gave you a faux."
"Er...no."
Emerald slid into the eternal stream of pedestrians. She made sure she knew where her group of convicted criminals were and made a face at Mercury, who, for once in his life, was actually cheering her on. Only because it happened to benefit him of course. The ass. Then she did what a thief worth even a little of his salt would do and scanned the crowd for the one most palpable looking but also richest looking person to steal from.
She found a nice looking family of blondes wearing outfits way to fancy compared to just about anyone else on the street.
Check.
She moved forward and employed the skills she had steadily stacked up in her years. Except Emerald noticed way too late that her body was not responding correctly. Everything was sluggish, just like how Adam swung his sword and Torchwick had trouble standing. At the last second of reaching into the girl, who she assumed was the child of Big Rich #1 and Big Rich #2, Emerald knew she was going to fail and retreated her hand. Except Ms. Rich turned around. Her hand reached out and grabbed Emerald's in a tight grip. When Emerald was looking at the blonde from behind, she hadn't noticed that along with the fancy jewels around her neck and the expensive leather that made up her coat, was blue streaks running down her hair and sharp and clearly paranoid eyes. Emerald knew because she had eyes just like that.
She knew she could probably break the girl's arm if she wanted, but getting arrested right out of a release sounds like a pretty awful idea, all things considered.
"Just passing by," said Emerald with what could only be the grace of someone who had had to lie about a million times before. "Wow, there sure are a lot of people here."
"Sure." The girl dropped Emerald's hand and walked back to her family. "By the way, maybe you should try to dye your hair something less crazy."
"IT'S NATURAL!" It was. Emerald decided she didn't want to see the rude girl again anytime in the foreseeable future.
Okay, so maybe that stealing thing wasn't going to work. And now she had to report back to Cinder...she was so dead.
Emerald did go back and give the report. In which she realized that Cinder was so luckily distracted that she got a free pass.
"Do you know what this means?" Cinder asked. She practically slammed the brochure onto Emerald's face. Emerald saw a map that she was pretty sure looked like something out of a very drunk night out.
"Someone is messing with us?" asked Emerald.
"No, you idiot. It means we're in a different world."
She got three collective blinks from Emerald, Mercury, and emo Adam.
"And it also means I have another chance at power. This time, from the bottom to the top with no one to stop me! MWAHAHAHA!"
"Shut up, human," said Adam. He looked around at the people that had complete reason to stare at them. "You're embarrassing us."
"It won't matter when I-I mean we are on top of the world!"
"We," clarified Sienna.
"Yes, we," said Cinder. Admittedly, she didn't like the sound of we but even she had to admit that she needed some help if she was going to conquer the world. "Doesn't it sound good to you?"
"The faunus don't exist here," said Sienna.
Adam stayed emo and grunted a 'no'.
Mercury kicked at the cement floor.
Emerald looked anywhere but Cinder.
"Yes!" Torchwick agreed, already on board.
Cinder ignored him.
"You people have no motivation," growled Cinder. "Mercury, being on top means being rich. You can have all the MgRonald-"
"McDonald," corrected Mercury.
"-McDonald you want."
Cinder continued. "Emerald, imagine how great your life would be rich."
"I can finally get a cat?" asked Emerald hopefully.
Cinder twitched. "Yes."
"Adam...Sienna, give me something on him." Cinder looked at Sienna expectantly. Sienna stared at her.
"You can finally get revenge on the humans!" declared Torchwick, having already jumped on the ship like a pro. "Stabby, stabby!"
Adam grunted something.
Torchwick cupped a ear. "What was that?"
"...fine."
Cinder looked at Sienna.
"I am not following your madness," said Sienna, being the only reasonable person in the group.
Which was not good because Cinder already thought of her as the most valuable person she had. For one, she was actually capable of something.
"Where else would you go?" asked Cinder.
"..." Sienna looked around the sprawling city she couldn't see the end of and the buildings that seem to go on forever. There was only two faunus in this world.
Only two.
"You manipulative bastard."
Cinder grinned. "That is my best trait."
"First," said Sienna. "We have to get certificates and records." They had been released in the middle of the night and now the sun was starting to rise. Not to mention they had to constantly be on the move.
Needless to say, none of them were feeling particularly energetic or intelligent.
"Did we win something?" asked Mercury. He rubbed his eyes.
Sienna stared at him.
"He's not very smart," said Emerald.
"Hey!" Mercury went to punch Emerald. Emerald dodged.
"I meant certificates of residence."
"Oh."
Cinder raised an eyebrow. "And how do you do that?"
"Well...there's no way to obtain them legally in our situation…"
"He-llo~" Roman wiggled his eyebrows at the lady behind the counter. He put an elbow on the table and leaned in. "Dear, I think you look gorgeous."
"Um-uh-" The poor lady in her twenties blushed.
"Just keep your eyes on me," suggested Roman, leaning closer.
On the other side of the counter, Emerald held out a long steel pole with a hooked end, trying to grab the papers they needed. One of the people behind the counter started to turn around.
"Hey sir! I need help!" called Mercury. He panicked when the man came over. "U-uh...where do you think I can submit a form for a pet...a pet alligator!"
The man stared at him.
Emerald squinted, waving around the pole.
"Do you like my cane?" asked Roman. He brought up his cane and began stroking it. The woman blinked.
Emerald started stabbing at random papers.
Another man behind the counter started to turn.
Cinder slumped in her seat. "NoOOoooOOOO! I'm DYING!"
The man stared at the poor actor.
Emerald finally stabbed into the right stacks of papers.
She pulled back, grabs the paper, and stuffs them into her shirt. She lets out a sigh of relief. Emerald hurried for the door.
The others followed her one by one.
One of the men look at the girl. "That was weird."
"And creepy…" noted the girl. She shivered.
"Why are there holes in the papers?!" screamed the other man.
The man and girl looked at each other. ""We're doomed.""
After sending the certificates and records to the government, Sienna moved on to more pressing matters.
"We need a loan."
She was running the party now.
The accountant blinked. "So you want a loan...but you've never done it before and now you want enough for a house."
"Or apartment," added Sienna agreeably.
"That's...that's not really how loans work, ma'am."
Sienna's ear twitched. The accountant couldn't help but look at them. "Nice decorations ma'am."
"...thank you." Sienna's ears twitched more. She wanted out now. "But see, we have done loans before. We moved from uh…"
Sienna quickly turned around, pulled out the brochure, read a random country, and turned back. "...from Mongolia."
"Oh! I see! Immigrants then."
"Yes."
"Hm...okay. Maybe we can make an exception then…" The accountant smiled at Sienna. "I know it's hard moving to a new country."
Oh you have no idea what it's like to move to a new world.
"You're kidding me," said Mercury.
"Well...it's better than nothing?" tried Emerald.
Adam let out a dissatisfied grunt.
"We're broke and on a loan," said Sienna. "Deal with it."
Cinder stepped into the tiny, dirty apartment. She started speaking, but went into a coughing fit. She cleared her throat and tried again. "This is a mandatory step to our finale at the top of the world! We will-"
"Yeah, yeah." Torchwick stumbled into the house and face-planted on the wooden floor. He started snoring. Made sense considering they had been running around for nearly 72 hours now.
"How many rooms are there?" asked Emerald, carefully stepping past Torchwick.
"This room, a kitchen, a bathroom, and another room," replied Sienna coolly.
Seeing as her amazing speech was interrupted and no one was going to be listening, Cinder made a run for the one bedroom.
Sienna sighed. "We're sharing!"
"No." Cinder slammed the door close.
"I am not-"
"Fine! You. Get. The. Floor."
Sienna gritted her teeth. "Fine." The bed was tiny anyways.
Mercury collapsed onto the couch. It popped under the pressure.
Emerald cursed at him. She escaped to the kitchen.
Sienna rubbed her eyes and sighed. This was going to be a weird new life.
"We need jobs," said Sienna first thing in the morning.
She was met with groans...including herself.
Three Weeks Later…
"Mercury! Please tell me you didn't mess up the french fries with the chicken nuggets!"
"What? No! Taiyo taught me how to not mess them up a day ago!"
"Then why is there a customer telling me that he found french fries in his chicken nugget order?!"
"Uh-um...mess up?
"By you."
"Sorry! I'll try better!"
"You better, young man!"
"Ugh…" Mercury slammed his face into his arms, hamburger already devoured. "Why is assassination harder than working at McDonald's?" he muttered.
"D-did you say something?" asked Taiyo. He looked up from his phone. Mercury always kinda found his yellow eyes and red hair scary, but then it turned out he was more of a teddy bear kinda thing.
"Nothing, nothing. Thinks for clearing my ass, man."
Taiyo laughed a little. "D-don't worry about it. Ms. Winn is scary at first, b-but she grows on you."
"Right…" Mercury does not believe him.
"Get your butts back up here! Break's over!"
Mercury groaned.
"You're always moody aren't you?" asked Rey Cina, Adam's bouncer buddy.
Adam grunted.
"I'm going to assume that's a yes."
Another grunt.
"You're actually very cathartic, you know."
Another grunt.
"The only words I've ever heard you say is 'don't touch me, human'...I'm guessing you have some anger issues and touchy feelies."
This time, the grunt was more irritated.
"Why do you always wear that mask anyways?" asked Rey.
Adam's response was more growl than grunt this time.
"Oka-ay," decided Rey. "I'll leave you alone now."
She kind of had to because a group of not very adult looking boys were coming their way but she couldn't help think: have I seen that mask before?
"You're a natural," praised the pizzeria owner. "That is some real good cutting right there."
Emerald preened at the compliment. "Thanks. I've had a... lot of experience."
"I can tell."
"Stop praising the new girl, boss!"
The bell rang, signaling a new customer.
Emerald dreaded it every time.
"Come on now," said her boss. "Nothing to be scared of."
She liked working in the shadows better than dealing with entitled people who think pizza can be made just for them. Ugh.
"A Kamikaze please!"
"Sex on the Beach."
"I would like a Long Island Iced Tea, if you may."
Roman Torchwick was pretty pleased with himself. He quite liked being a bartender except…
WHY IS THERE A COCKTAIL NAMED SEX ON THE BEACH IN THIS UNIVERSE?!
It made no sense. It was disturbing. Roman decided that he didn't want to know how and who made up that name.
"Shawn," greeted Roman drily. "Here to complain about the younger generation again?"
"Haha! You know me too well, Roman. Yes, the younger generation, who can't even remember when the internet was dial-up, it's like ancient history to them!"
"Mm," said Roman, who can't, in fact, remember a time when internet was dial up nor any history lessons on dialing the internet. He was still getting used to no Grimm, no aura, no semblance, and most importantly, no dust. "Well, my shift is almost over. I think I'll join you with a drink…"
"I desperately need a drink and I love drinking." Roman grinned. "Win, win!"
Sienna decided that there were worse things than being customer support in a Best Buy. It may baffle her mind how utterly stupid human beings are but at least it meant that she always had breaks. More breaks than what Mercury seemed to get anyways. And more importantly, it pays good money.
Sienna had to admit, she was pretty proud of herself because she landed a much better job than any of the others.
"Jeremy. What do you need today?" asked Sienna.
The tall man coughed uncomfortably. "Yeah...my PS2 may have broke again."
Sienna groaned. "I'll get the Geek Squad."
This had been going on for a week. Seriously, that PS2 might just be cursed.
She just realized how far she's fallen.
It's depressing.
As per usual now, the group of displaced criminals returned to their poverty-level home and complained about their new life situation. Besides Roman, Roman was pretty happy.
Adam was still acting mute, so much so that Roman had begun comparing him to Neo, which was not healthy. The faunus mostly spent his time mourning over his broken sword and making sure to take care of his not-broken sheathe.
Roman decided he didn't want to know Adam's relationship with his weapons and let the faunus keep to himself. Everyone else must've thought the same thing because they did so too.
"My legs hurt." Mercury groaned. "Working as mercenaries wasn't as detrimental to my health."
"I believe your diet may have something to do with it," said Sienna with no remorse.
"It's just a lot of meat! Everyone has to eat meat."
"I am, in fact, a pescaterian."
Mercury blinked. "What the heck is that?"
Sienna's ears twitched. "Someone who does not eat meat...and before you ask, someone who can eat fish."
That sounds strangely specific," said Mercury.
"Why is there only fish and cucumbers in the refrigerator?!" demanded Emerald.
"We're poor," reminded Sienna.
"Why fish and cucumbers? Both are awful."
"You take that back, rude child!"
"Rude? I'm not the one who makes people suffer by food!"
"Excuse me? Fish and cucumbers are bless not suffering. And for your information, I seem to be the only person actually capable of shopping here."
Four Shopping Failures and One Shopping Success
Cinder Fall:
"What do you mean that this single water bottle is $1.35?! A pack of 30 is only $5.75!" Cinder looked about ready to murder the poor, stricken cashier whose name tag read 'Crystal Acosta'.
"Ma'am, I don't exactly make the prices here…" the cashier sweatdropped.
"THEN TELL ME WHO DOES SO I CAN BURN THEM TO DEATH!"
Mercury and Emerald had to drag Cinder out of the supermarket.
Another cashier walked over to Crystal. "...what was that?"
"I assume a pyromaniac…"
Emerald Sustrai:
"Uh…" Emerald fumbled with her change. "How much was that?"
Crystal sighed. "$6.34…"
"R-right." Emerald frowned. "How much is this coin again?"
Crystal stared. "It's a quarter so $0.25."
"And this one?"
"...one cent."
"And this one?"
"Hurry up!" exclaimed an old lady waiting in the line.
"U-uh…" Emerald panicked. "S-Sienna!"
Sienna sighed.
Mercury Black:
"Oh and I'll get this too," Mercury pointed at a Tic-Tac. "And this." A Hershey bar. "And that." A magazine on 'The Guide to Fast Food'. "And th-"
Adam came over, knocked him out, and carried him away.
Crystal blinked. She looked down at the abandoned pile of useless items. What was she supposed to do with these things now?
Roman Torchwick:
Roman lit a cigarette...right in the middle of a waiting line.
He was kicked out.
"What?! Why the heck is there something called 'no smoking?!"
Adam Taurus:
"Um, sir," said Crystal. "You need a license for that." Namely, the dagger Adam had picked up in the weapons section of the store.
Adam growled.
"Sir, you really need a license for that."
The faunus turned and walked away.
Crystal sighed.
Sienna Khan:
"I've had...a really stressful week," said Crystal, rubbing her forehead. "Please make this easy for me. $15.43."
Sienna handed her $15.43.
Crystal thanked God.
Sienna wondered when she became the caretaker of the group and why everyone else seems to be completely useless.
"Maybe none of this would happen if Cinder actually got a job." Torchwick examined his fingernails, not that anyone was looking because no one paid much attention to the oldest person in the house.
"She'll get a job eventually," insisted Emerald. "She always pulls through."
"Except when she doesn't," Mercury tacked on.
Emerald glowered. "If Cinder hears you say that-"
"Say what?" The door suddenly flew open. Cinder, in all her street clothed glory beamed with menace in the doorway...which looked more like a person who had fallen out of bed in the morning and was now desperately trying to reorientate herself by using the sun.
Mercury coughed. "Nothing."
Emerald decides to let him go this one time. He owed her now.
"Any luck in the job-finding field?" asked Roman, not sounding like he had just pinned the blame on Cinder for their current predicament only a few minutes before.
"I actually have," said Cinder. She grinned. "And I'm a bodyguard so stick it, Sienna."
Sienna cursed because she was pretty sure bodyguards get paid more than customer service employees.
"A bodyguard?" asked Mercury incredulously. He mildly noted that Cinder was a lot less of an imposing person when she lived in the same shitty apartment as him. She acted a lot less imposing too so maybe that was it.
"Oh it was easy, I just had to break the arms and legs of a few of the other competitions. They hired me on the spot."
"Dammit, I was sure breaking arms and legs weren't accepted in this world's society. I could've gotten such a better job!" lamented Roman. "Not that I'm complaining, being a bartender is actually very cathartic."
"You're adjusting well to the absence of aura then?" asked Sienna.
Cinder threw her coat at the couch, meaning it landed on Roman's face, and walked into the room. She let out a superior smirk. "Well, I must say I'm probably adjusting better than all of you combined."
"So your snark isn't all gone, how disappointing," said Sienna.
"Shut up."
Roman huffed and tossed Cinder's coat to the floor. "Are you bodyguarding anyone important?"
Cinder grinned devilishly. "No, but they are rich." She struck a pose reminiscent of Salem. "Meaning they're profitable." Cue evil laughter.
"Oh dear." Sienna sighed. She hated when the maniacal human made progress in her faux world domination plan from the inside out that never worked in any universe if movies were any indication.
"I kind of feel bad about Sienna," said Red suddenly. "She wasn't that bad was she?"
"Too late," Hohenheim said distractedly. "Though it might have been a mistake…"
They were in fact, in Moon's personal airship, still on the run from Glynda's wrath.
Moon twirled her expensive chair around. Her fingers intertwined each other and she grinned thinly. Behind her, Dragon was playing a video game on her scroll.
"You look like an evil mastermind," Belladonna felt the need to tell Moon. "And you look like the sidekick, Dragon."
"I'm not the sidekick!" protested Dragon. "We're equals!"
"That's what I was going for," dismissed Moon. "Now, ladies…and gentleman, the Vytal Festival is quickly coming upon us."
"Oh crap, I forgot," said Red. She held up a giant bulletin board with impossible to read red scribbles. "I was busy working on our master plan."
Belladonna sighed. "Now I'm worried."
"No, no! It's actually good! It only involves luring Salem to the Colosseum! What was the Colosseum called again?"
"...the Amity Colosseum?" said Belladonna. "You really should know this."
"It's not my fault that I never finished my education." Red sniffed. "And don't say none of us did because I was younger than everyone else."
"Did you account for the fact that we have none of the relics and are missing one maiden?" asked Hohenheim.
"Of course, I'm one of the best strategists known to Remnant."
"No, I'm pretty sure that was me," said Hohenheim.
"We share it."
"I was the strategist," corrected Belladonna.
Moon frowned. "No, I'm sure I was the strategist."
Dragon whistled discreetly.
"Fine, we're all strategists!" Red exclaimed. "I just happen to be the better one!"
Moon twitched.
Belladonna decided to make a shadow clone pat Red's back because she couldn't be bothered to get up and walk across the room. "If that's what makes you feel better…"
Red coughed. "Anyways, back to business, ladies...and gentleman."
"Why do I feel left out here?" wondered Hohenheim.
"Listen up, Salem isn't going to waste this opportunity with the Vytal Festival so we have two goals."
"Goal One: Defeat Salem." Red continued.
"Goal Two: Win the Vytal Festival. Well, Team RWBY wins the Vytal Festival but you get my point."
"Objection to Goal Two!" Hohenheim declared. "JNPR is winning this one!"
"They can win next year!" said Dragon.
Hohenheim made an x-sign with his arms. "No."
"Majority vote," Moon declared.
"That's not fair." Hohenheim sniffed. "You're Team RWBY."
"Then transport more of Team JNPR here if you're so lonely," Red suggested. "I heard being away from life-long friends can be harmful to your psyche."
Belladonna grinned because she was the one to tell Red that.
"If we keep on transporting people, there won't be anyone left to run our stuff," pointed out Hohenheim.
"Trust me," said Moon. "I get the short end of the stick here."
"But...I am really lonely," mused Hohenheim. He jumped up and reached for the Ditrav.
"Just one more person," he decided. "Someone from my team."
He kickstarted the Ditrav and entered the keywords for the dimension-travelers' dimension coordinates. He also made sure to tell the Ditrav to search for one of his teammates. The last thing he wanted was the company of a shopkeeper. Hohenheim was pretty sure shopkeepers aren't much company.
A purple portal zapped into existence. And out stumbled…
"Oh no," muttered Moon, a horrified expression on her face.
Belladonna facepalmed.
"...why karma, why?" wondered Dragon.
Red gave Hohenheim a look that was half sorry and half 'why do you bring this down on us?'.
Hohenheim had half the mind to either turn back his life decision or start begging for everyone's forgiveness.
"Well, I'm not supposed to be here," said Ilia Amitola. She brushed off dust from her black leather coat. "But...I don't really mind."
She winked.
Cue exasperated groans.
QUESTION: SHOULD THERE BE MORE OF SIENNA AND CO IN THE STORY?
A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaack! Hope ya'all liked, or at least got a few laughs, from the change in focus from RSBD to villians-turn-law abiding citizens! Beta is bro.
Special Thanks to merendinoemilliao, The Wizardous Magicman, DeadLyokoBrony, IDRF, Bell Awesome, Distant Moon, and WhichOneisWill for the OC submissions, which btw, are STILL OPEN!
When You Drop on Your Mom and Uncle Dating...with Your Girlfriend
Requested By: Darkness-Above
"What the hell?!" exclaimed someone.
Red was too busy blinking away the bright spots in her vision to bother with who it was. Luckily, her trusty girlfriend was always super attentive. At all times. Okay, it might be a pain sometimes.
"You two were making-out," said Belladonna drily. "Red, you should probably talk to Qrow about this when we get back."
"What does this have to do with Q-QROW?!" Red jumped back at the unusual sight of her teenager uncle who for once, didn't have any sign of alcohol on him.
"Who are you?" Mini-Qrow asked incredulously, wrapping an arm around-
"MOM?!" Red's brain preceded to short-circuit because she did not like this implication. Not at all.
Belladonna's ears twitched. She grabbed onto the cloak of her girlfriend to prevent her from falling off the balcony. "Deep breaths," she suggested.
"I-I don't deal well with surprises."
Mini-Summer frowned. "Mom? I think I'm a little young for that."
"I don't want kids," added Qrow. He frowned. "Now can you guys leave? We were kind of busy."
"Making-out." Red gagged.
Belladonna hummed. "Most people go through several romantic partners before they settle with one. This should have been expected, especially since they were partners if I remember correctly."
Red gagged more at the thought of her mom going out with even more people.
"And it's fine, you know who she'll end up with anyways and you never seemed to have a problem with the fact that Taiyang had a kid with Raven before settling down with Summer."
"That's because I try not to think about it!"
"Wait, what?!" Qrow demanded. "Wha-"
"Look on the bright side," reasoned Belladonna. "At least Summer doesn't seem like the type to end up with an abusive partner somewhere along the road."
"Please shut up."
"Compared to me-"
It was at this point Red decided to shut Belladonna up with her mouth instead of verbally.
Omake: Active Camo
By: The Wizardous Magicman
"Hi, um Ilia, was it? You're Blake's friend?" Ruby asked
"Yeah-yes, yes I am Blake's friend. Why do you ask?"
"I just wanted to say hi! Which I guess I already did, but...ugh...(normal knees)...anybody
who's a friend of Blake's is a friend of mine! Put'er there, pal!"
"Umm...ok..."*pattern change-blush*
"WOW! THAT IS SO COOL! Omygodyoumustbesomekindaninjalikeblakeorrenhaveyoumetrenhe'ssocoolandhandsomenotthatblakeisn'timeandon'ttellherpleasethatilikeninjasimeanhowcouldafterreadingNinjasofLove DON'T TELL HER I READ HER BOOK!"
shadow clone in*
"I knew you and I shared a taste in literature"
Ninja-vanish!*
"Oh. All out."
Ninja-Sun!*
"Ugh. Why do I gotta do it?"
"Because I'm feigning interest in you so you have something to dream about?"
"THAT WAS FAKE?!"
"Of course. I'm actually performing a long and convoluted plan called 'Knight of the
Bumblebee'."
"Then why should I help you?"
"I thought it was because I was a valued friend, but if not that then I'll send you the vide-"
"Done."
Sun departs with Blake atop his back*
"Uh, what were we talking about again?"
"Your taste for ninjas?"
"No...Blake and Ren are already kinda preoccupied, so no luck there, and I've only just met
you imeanyouseemnicebutthat'djustbeawkwardyouknow?"
"Well, i always wanted somebody, who could...dote on me...who couldn't...live without me...*snaps fingers* EUREKA! That's it!"
[MENACING] [MENACING] [MENACING]
"What's going on? And what's with all the menacing?"
"Ruby Rose! What's the one thing everybody knows about you? Your one crippling weakness? The one thing that you love above all else? It is..."
pattern change-*
"COOKIES!"
-cookie*
"...cookies."
Ilia simply leaned back victoriously, Ruby doing her best to eat her skin.
"Hmm, maybe this wasn't that well thought out. I mean, it's nice to be loved, but THE BITING KINDA FRICKIN' HURTS!"
"Sorry! I'll try licking instead, cookie lady"
"Ah, much better. This would've turned out very differently if not for my semblance. Probably would've had you whirling out crescent rose and yelling "Blood for the blood cookie!". Thank Oum that didn't happen."
"Y-yeah." Ruby said, tentatively licking Ilia's cheek, fiddling desperately to manually revert her scythe back behind her back. "That could've been close."
Reviewer Responses
Mew Shadowfang: Because Sienna needs some spotlight after getting introduced and killed off in one episode. People keep on asking me to bring in more characters. I did so you can all stop bugging me now =).
merendinoemilliano: glad I can make your day~I don't really know what Emil looks like so can you give me some descriptions? And for the 'not all of us can fly,' Red means that she and Dragon can but not many other people but I doubt Red can fly enough to reach an airship anyways. Cinder was using her maiden powers, they were just weak because she only had half.
The Wizardrous Magicman: I now have conflicting names for one ship and must consult the magical shipping chart.
Dev the snake faunus: Changed the Meg to Megs, oopsy on my part, lol. Will do with the omakes whenever something funny pops into my head.
Xyander64: We are all doomed the day Moon finds the magical shipping chart.
JackTheSpades: Some very good points. I think I should begin focusing on different reactions soon and I have just the thing...mwahahaha
DeadLyokoBrony: Glad you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for the OC!
IDRF: Seriously, it always makes my day when someone says they actually enjoys my weird stuff. Thanks for the OC. =)
Bell Awesome: That was actually on my mind for ages and I'm really glad you found it awesome. Thanks for the OC too!
Distant Moon: Thanks for the OC. Woah, I never noticed that about Miles…
Darkness-Above: I hope I live up to expectations in the future! Anyways, I can tell you right now that I don't believe in the 'Qrow is Ruby's Father' theory because of one thing. Miles Luna has officially stated that Qrow is NOT Ruby's dad in an AMA...so yeah. I hope the omake was still heartwarming though.
WhichOneIsWill: I feel the need to clarify that I'm a girl, lol. But anyways, again, sorry for the late response because I was a little busy with the dreaded real life. On the bright side, I can now confirm that Sapphire will have a pretty big part in Cinder's lunatic world-domination plans!
Axcel: I know...but I feel like this way, Sienna will get more character development and time among other things so yeah =).
If you need me, I'm ArosCao_ARC on Twitter
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