We still lay in bed when someone knocked on the door an hour later, but at least we were covered with a blanket. "Come in Jazz" Edward said bugged. I hide my face under the blanket it was too embarrassing to be naked in the presence of the other vampire.
"Carlisle wants to talk to you; he has received a call from Caius."
I wondered if Edwards's father has told Caius that I was still alive or if he has kept his mouth shut - even if it was just for Edwards's sake. Maybe, my vampire had similar thoughts, because he was on his feet in an instant and fully dressed a moment later. His good mood was gone completely and he looked rather stressed. "I should have killed that bastard while I had the chance to do it" he muttered and his rage made me even more nervous.
"Do you think your father would betray you?" I asked insecure.
I had expected that Edward would trust his father one hundred percent but apparently I was wrong; though it was Jasper who made me realize the truth when he took in a sharp breath, before my vampire had time to answer my question.
"I´ve trusted him ever since he has changed me but right now I don´t know, if he is on our side. Is it okay for you when I leave you alone for a while?" he asked with a sad smile on his face.
"Of course it is, just go and talk to Carlisle maybe he only wants to tell you that the king still believes that he has killed me."
At least Edward looked a little bit more confident; he crossed the room and kissed me before he left. It took only a few seconds before he was back, he pushed Jasper against the door frame and a deep growl escaped his throat. "Don´t you dare, to come near him!" he hissed and only then I noticed Jaspers pitch black eyes and shuddered involuntary.
"I won´t bite him. Even if I can´t control my thoughts all the time, I´m absolutely in control of my actions." the smaller vampire whimpered while Edward forcefully pinned him against the dark wood.
It was crazy, it was dangerous and maybe it was completely naïve, especially after the incident in Volterra, but somehow I trusted Jasper and I didn´t like the way Edward treated him. Slowly I got up, wrapped the blanket around my body and made a few steps in their direction, just near enough to touch Edwards's outstretched arm.
"You should trust him; after all, he´s your brother and he has promised to keep his distance to me. I believe him and you should do the same."
My master looked at me and sighed, almost instantly he released his brother. Apparently, he preferred to close his arms around me instead "Sorry Jazz, but you know I´m a rather sensitive when it comes to Jake. I have to protect him."
Something in Jaspers mind let Edward tense again, but at least this time he didn´t attack the other vampire and replied through gritted teeth "You don´t have to remind me. I know bloody well what could have happened!"
It was quite frustrating, to witness a conversation between an ordinary person and a mind-reader; it was like you would overhear a phone call. How should I get what they are talking about when only one of them uses his voice? I didn´t like this kind of conversation, especially not when they probably were talking about me.
To be honest, as much as I loved my vampire, I was glad when they were finally gone. The first I did when I was alone in my room was to pick up my clothes which were still spread the ground. Almost automatically I reached in the pocket of my pants and pulled out the golden collar. I looked around in the room and found out that it wasn´t hard to find a good place to hide it; at least I thought that a drawer full of Underpants would be perfect.
I laid the collar on the bottom of the drawer and covered it with the under-ware before I closed the drawer again. Only then I realized that there shouldn´t be any kind of clothing in the dresser, all I owned were the things I wore when we arrived at the house. Curiously I opened another drawer which was filled with socks and in the closet I also discovered shirts and pants, all different in color and cut.
As if it wouldn´t be enough that someone – I guessed it was Alice, because Edward mentioned how much she loved shopping – has bought all that stuff; Even I recognized some of the trademarks and knew she has bought most of the clothes, in that kind of shop I would never see from the inside because the guard on the door wouldn´t let me in.
Obviously I had to get dressed and it wasn´t very tempting to put on the sweaty clothes I had worn since we have left Volterra; so I couldn´t refuse to wear some of the extravagant, new clothes. Upon closer inspection, I spotted at least a few items without an expensive label on it; I emptied a small shelf and filled it with everything I found fairly suitable for me and in the end the shelf was almost half-full.
Only when I was done with the reorganization of the closet, I decided what to wear. My choice fell on grey cargo pants and a dark green turtleneck sweater, which would even hide the scar on my neck.
I was indescribable grateful but nevertheless it felt wrong to be spoiled like that, they shouldn´t waste so much money for me. Suddenly I realized, that I haven´t thanked them yet, neither for the room nor for the new clothes; god, what an ungrateful behavior.
Edward hasn´t told me to stay in my room, but he also hasn´t allowed me to leave it, I was twisted between the two options and in the end the wish to thank Esme and Alice won over my fear to annoy Edward. And if he would be angry when he´ll discover that I left the room without his permission, I´ll make it up to him and afterwards he´ll surely forgive me.
I was irritated as I opened the door, because suddenly I heard Edwards raised voice; he was clearly upset by something. I haven´t heard him before and for an instant I wondered why the room door was kind of sound-proof, what do they think I would do in there to need a soundproof door? After all, I was used to be quiet but I blushed almost instantly, as I remembered, how loud Edwards moaning could be sometimes. At least I knew now, that no one except me would hear him swear and moan while we are in my room.
The sound of the two raised voices was still there and captured my interest. Without thinking on possible consequences' I tiptoed closer to the room where the voices came from. I haven´t intended to eavesdrop but I also wasn´t able to just turn around and go downstairs to Esme, as I had planned originally.
"…you´re blind to see the truth son. Haven´t you told me that my brother has described the boy as a perfect slave? How would you know if his love is real, or if he is still following Caius command to please you? Or maybe you mistake gratefulness for love. Besides, I´m not even convinced that he is able to feel love at all; or do you think he has ever experienced kindness and love in the last nine years?"
"You can´t seriously believe this shit! Jake is…"
"Shut up and listen to me!" Carlisle snapped "I´m just worried that you´ll end up with a broken heart. Even if he truly loves you, someday he´ll imprint on someone and you´ll be left behind. I love you Edward and I don´t want to lose you because of that dog."
I didn´t wait for Edwards reply, instead I turned on my heels and went back into my room where I let myself drop on the soft, green carpet to think about the things I´ve overheard.
Carlisle was wrong, of course I did everything possible to make my vampire happy, but it wasn´t because Caius has told me to fulfill Edwards's desires; I did it because I love him.
From the beginning he has treated me with kindness and respect, he has been the first who has ever kissed me, the first who doesn´t hurt me when we´re having sex – at least he tries, to be gentle. To become his lover, has been the best thing that ever happened to me and nothing would change my feelings for him, not even imprinting.
Originally I wanted to ask Edward what his father has meant with "imprint" but meanwhile I´ve changed my mind. Probably it would be best to ask one of the wolves in LaPush to get a proper explanation; maybe one of them has even experienced it on himself and could tell me how to avoid it. There has to be a possibility, because if imprinting would mean to lose the man I love, it has to be something horrible and I would do everything to prevent this.
Well, as I was forced to visit my family within the next two weeks anyhow, I could at least use the time in LaPush, to ask them a few questions – assumed that they are willing to talk to me at all. It was hard to know that my parents were living just a few miles away from here, harder than I´ve imagined it would be. If I am completely honest to myself, I must confess that I still missed them horribly.
I was jealous at Embry, who was brave enough to face his mom without a moment of hesitation, why on earth couldn´t I be that strong? The worst-case would be that they reject me – it would break my heart, but sooner or later it would happen anyway. Perhaps I should get over and done with as soon as possible; if I just weren´t such a coward! Nevertheless I decided to be brave and to ask Edward if I could visit my family soon; I intended to ask him as soon as he´s back from his talk with Carlisle.
I stood up, opened the window and took a deep breath; I´ve always loved the forests around LaPush and it was intoxicating to smell the scent of the wild nature again; the scent of freedom. Suddenly all I wanted was to be out there; I wanted to lie down on the green grass in front of the house, touch the coarse bark of a nearby tree, taste one of the red wood strawberries I´ve spotted at the edge of the clearing, feel the soft breeze on my skin and most of all I wanted to run.
For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, I felt the strength of my wolf, he longed to break free, heat flowed through my whole body and I was barely able to stop myself from shifting. I still fought against the desire of my wolf when Edward joined me at the window.
From behind he laid his arms around my waist and I leaned back against his chest "How did it go?"
He didn´t reply immediately instead he traced a line of kisses on my neck before he answered my question "Caius still believes you´re dead and my father won´t betray us."
"That´s good news! What else have you talked about?" I asked, curious if he would tell me about Carlisles aversion for me.
"Nothing of importance, we´ve just chatted about this and that."
So it wasn´t important to him what his father has said about our relationship and about my allegedly not existing feelings. Why wasn´t he afraid that Carlisle could be right? He must be completely convinced about my feelings towards him; at least this was the only explanation that came to my mind.
As I turned around to look at him I realized how wrong I have been, I could see it in his eyes; Carlisle has done a good job, he has cast doubt in Edward.
My idea to ask him for permission to visit my parents was forgotten for the moment, I didn´t want to add fuel to the fire. Before I could even think about a trip to LaPush, I had to proof him my love; also I had no idea how to convince him. I have thought I do already everything in my might to make him happy, but obviously it wasn´t enough – or perhaps he has finally realized that I wasn´t good enough for him at all.
Edward stroked over my cheek and automatically I leaned in his touch "My Jacob, I love you so much! Don´t ever leave me!"
"I love you, too" I replied immediately and snuggled up closer to his chest.