AN: Arturia X EMIYA (Archer) incoming I suppose. My next roll would have gotten me Jeanne D'Arc, which will have a lot of overly righteous objections to the way Issei does things. So I'm guessing we need a devil's advocate since Issei will have to be objective in some disputes. I'm thinking Hikigaya Hachiman from Oregairu since that will add a more cynical normal dimension to the more fantastical side of things. But then that would have too many characters so I'm reserving any extra servants until the third volume events or after some god killing in Earthland since that's apparently a thing. I already have plans for a army, plus mages, plus monsters and gods against Issei in Earthland. I would rank the 'gods' in Earthland at around Madara level in strength (War Gods can easily smash mountains), a hell lot slower in speed (If they have time to chat then they're not fast enough), but a greater level of bullshit in magic. (Ankhseram, the God of Black Magic curses anyone who even touches upon Life and Death, also, one of the causes of everything that went so horribly wrong for Mavix and Zeref). Archer's reaction will be done in a later chapter. Tamamo will go up a few tails quickly due to reasons and power level reasons. Doomwing and co are busy playing Bloodborne. The Hero Faction had made plans to fake some danger to get Archer's attention but [Observe] OP, enough said. As for what had happened with the reverse pieces in Azazel's possession, two bishops were taken by Vali and given to Kuroka for proper re-population purposes.

Chapter 25: Melting Pot (of characters)

Life tends to be a series of 'ups' for one crimson-haired devil heiress. That is, of course, after discounting little things such as having your toys stolen, being annoyed by an overbearing older sibling, losing competitions to your rivals and occasionally reincarnating a few people with tragic backstories.

There was this tiny, itsy bitsy blip in that record of 'ups' in her life. That one little thorn that loomed over her happy daily life masquerading as a human in the country she so loves happens to be an arrange marriage to a complete douche.

Now, Rias Gremory herself is proud of her family heritage and history. She wouldn't mind taking up any family responsibilities if it were necessary. But surely there has to be some line that should not be crossed in this day and age.

Logically, Raiser Phenex can't be all that bad considering that he DOES have devoted servants. Clearly they see something in him. But the issue is that he's a completely unrepentant womaniser and if she were to marry him then he would simply move on to another woman leaving her in a loveless marriage. Plus, there's the whole 'stay in the kitchen' slash 'stay at home and raise the kids' issue she has to deal with.

That's not to mention the real important issue of this marriage being essentially pointless. I mean, keeping bloodlines pure, blah blah blah, seriously?

Rias would like to point to some human scientists and simply yell at those bloodline obsessed people to take up cloning. If Ajuka Beelzebub can figure out reincarnation then cloning would be child's play.

Looking back on history, the first devils were angels banished to hell that evolved from the demonic energy from the original Demon residents. So from a genetic standpoint, low birth rates and the attrition rates from various battle fronts it's safe to say that any reason for the pillar families dying out was a result of things continuing the way it was.

Bloodline providing special powers is one thing she can appreciate. The Gremory clan for example inherited superior magical control, which unfortunately for Rias, either skipped her or is hidden in some extra chromosome somewhere like an X-gene. The Bael family, thanks mother, carry the Power of Destruction.

But if it's so damn important then they can donate some DNA, splice something up in a laboratory and well, not force people to marry.

Sure there's the whole, unite our clans or the, clan alliance through marriage option. But either way having a mix of DNA in a child regardless of how it was conceived would have still resulted in cooperation and combined custody anyways.

Rias honestly is starting to believe that her parents are playing Crusader Kings or that someone at the top of the devil hierarchy is secretly Hiashi Hyuuga, Master Euginicist.

In hindsight, Rias is currently regretting slacking in her training. She really should have spent more time figuring out for to beat up Phenex family members so that she could challenge Raiser Phenex in Mortal Kombat or something, then she remember that it would end up as Immortal Kombat where the other participant, her, would be disqualified automatically.

Lately it was rather obvious that her new friend, Issei Hyoudou, who has been a helpful and regular presence in the Occult Research Club since he started to make shadow clones, had known about her worries.

Someone who had easily snuck into the Vatican and got all their files within a few hours would have easily found out the reason for her latest bouts of discomfort.

She had traded a few favours for some really nice looking regeneration negating weapons but quite honestly she can't see herself winning despite them. Having recruited the magic resistant magical girl/man Mil-tan as a Bishop helped her feel a little better, but still…

After having heard of a meeting with Raiser the next day she had teleported in a hurry in the dead of night to her friend's home which she helped redecorate. Rushing to his bedroom, she opened it only to find Issei, the female Okita Souji, Issei and another Issei completely naked. She slammed the door closed immediately after yelling an apology.

Only for little Shirou to rush right past her and barge in to the same room with one of Issei's clones transformed as the vigilante Archer trailing behind him.

"Old man! I just used up 5 months of allowance and summoned future me!"

"Uhuh… get your sister, he probably won't try anything violent in front of children. Now scram, your mother and I are busy!" One of the Issei's shouted.

Rias pondered on Issei talking about a mother until she realised that the man behind Shirou wasn't a clone, but the actual EMIYA.

"Kyaa!" She involuntary squeals in maximum fangirl mode. Completely forgetting about her previous troubles she decided to do the only thing she could do right now.

Using her bullshit devil magic, in other words, 'IMAGINATION', she quickly retrieves various items from her home from a magic circle.

"I'm your biggest fan! Please give me your autograph!" She all but yelled at the white-haired Servant.

EMIYA puts on his wide-eyed 'what the actual fuck' face.

He sees some of the items included action figures, dakimuras, posters, Blu-rays of an anime titled after his reality marble, some newspaper headlines involving acts of vigilantism involving him that he absolutely does not remember carrying out and a T-shirt with the words "People Die when they are Killed, by Emiya Shirou".

He gaped some more. Before falling to his knees in uncharacteristic despair and raging at the heavens. Well, actually, he raged against Zelretch, the Root, Alaya and Gaia.

None of whom were directly to blame. Clearly if he had more information he would have cursed his low Luck rating, some dice rolling website and the one that provided his younger self the resources to have summoned him instead.

The occupants of the mansion had been woken up by the crimson-haired girl's gangirling and his raging. By the time they reached the three people outside Issei's room they saw EMIYA tearfully signing every single item passed to him listlessly.

"YOU! GET AWAY FROM MY MASTER'S ROOM! SLUT! BITCH!" Tamamo-no-Mae screamed and ran in front of Issei's door, blocking the entrance while hissing at Rias.

Rias responded with retrieving more items and getting her to autograph it. Tamamo signed immediately since she was appreciative of the quality of her own merchandise.

Clearly, being an Otaku has served Rias well in learning what to expect from multidimensional travellers. Rias suddenly started pondering the benefits of being R.O. into a different world.

"Keep it down! Even aspiring ninja goddesses need sleep! You know!" Rias couldn't say that she expected this. She knew the verbal tic due to having watched and read every single episode and chapter of Naruto. But to actually meet a teenage Kushina Uzumaki was something that she didn't actually prepare for.

But that didn't really matter because at that moment everyone that had arrived paused after hearing the counter guardian turned and addressed a blonde.

There were four blondes right there. A blonde elf with bright blue eyes, a fallen angel with similar hair and eye colours, a blonde nun with green eyes and a knight with the very same features of the nun.

But that didn't matter for EMIYA.

His eyes didn't stray. He couldn't mistake Asia Argento for Arturia Pendragon no matter the circumstances.

Even if Arturia's hair was let down, even if she was dressed in casual sleepwear, and even if she was surrounded by other blondes he didn't, no, he couldn't have even mistaken anyone else for her, even for a microsecond.

"Saber."

He said, softly, yet with a volume that everyone heard it, or went silent at that very moment that they had heard it. His tone was powerful, yet was fragile at the same time, betraying the pain in his heart.

His body may be made out of swords, but his heart is of glass indeed.

"You are… that Archer, no, Emiya?" Arturia took a while but then realised who he was.

Something changed in EMIYA's expression that moment.

"Ah, you don't remember." He figures out immediately, this was not his Saber, not one that had fought alongside and for him.

She wasn't and had never been his sword. And he had never been her scabbard.

"Ha… well, it's not like I expected a miracle." He returns to his usual confident smirk, or at least, he tries to. But it's such a fake that Gilgamesh would have hired someone to photograph it and title it as 'The fakest expression of a faker'.

"Arc- Shirou." Arturia calls out as EMIYA starts to head for the stairs.

"Don't, please don't call me that. You don't have to call me that. I'm simply an Archer now."

A clone of Issei popped in right after he had said that and brought EMIYA away to the kitchen so that he could explain while allowing him to take his mind off everything through cooking.

"Caren-chan… what just happened? Arturia-neesan?" Shirou asked his white-haired sister and the blonde knight.

"Problems of the past." His sister vaguely answered before yawning and dragging Shirou to her bed. For innocent cohabitation, of course.

Asia Argento wondered why he was sad. But didn't really know how to approach the man about it. Arturia didn't exactly know how to respond to the red knight. As for the rest, they were too sleepy to deal with the drama bomb.

Tamamo was mumbling dejectedly outside Issei's bedroom before going off to the kitchen to spend some time with Issei's clone.

As for Rias, she was running off theories on what had just happened. After recalling when Issei had recruiting Arturia it made sense that EMIYA would react that way. Truly being a Fate fan had its perks. Still, she kind of wished she spent that time training.

By the time Rias had went down to the kitchen, Issei had just finished off explanations on the factions of this world.

"It certainly is one troublesome situation." EMIYA leaning back on a wall said in a resigned tone.

"Yes, but I don't expect you to do anything aside from not hindering us. You have no obligation to fight and just because you've been summoned it doesn't mean you have to take orders. Well, unless my son uses his command seals but even if he's different when compared to you…" Issei kindly and patiently lays out the situation

"He's still a good kid at heart that wouldn't force someone to fight if he can do it himself." The counter guardian finishes.

"Yeah… Oh right, I have been impersonating you to carry out rescues, conduct vigilante activities and I'm currently a 'terrorist' of sorts. Here's a laptop, go and check the news on what has been happening."

"I'll do that. Considering your variety of powers I can already guess that you're better at it than me."

"In a way. And Tamamo, please stop glaring at Rias. Rias, would you like to tell us what's going on?" Issei requests.

The fox goddess proceeded to 'protectively' grab on to the Issei clone, as if defending him from the crimson-haired devil. EMIYA thinks to himself that he'll never understand women.

As Rias explains her predicament Tamamo nods at certain points with a small amount of sympathy as she reads Volume 2 of Highschool DXD at the same time.

Issei had kept his eyes closed as he really did not want to read his own series.

"It says here that it's going to be some team battle thing called a Rating Game!"Tamamo points to a page.

"If we assume that this world is similar to the main timeline then I suppose it is likely."

"We're in a light novel?" Rias hummed as she thought over the implications, wondering what kind of genre the story she's in as she could probably take advantage of it to achieve great success.

"Lalala, I'm trying not to think about it." Issei childishly closes off his ears while wobbling around.

"In any case, it means I will have to fight a battle I'm woefully unprepared for. Also, it's likely that whoever sets it up do not expect me to win."

"Well, then it's time for a training montage. I have just the training plan…" Issei muses.

"This is going to painful, isn't it?" Rias's question was left unanswered.

One of Issei's clone would be attending Rias's meeting with Raiser the next day.

By morning, the dining table was completely filled with many dishes. As Issei, EMIYA, Shirou and Tamamo had been completely adamant about being the one to cook.

Admittedly Tamamo only wanted to cook for Issei so that wasn't a huge issue.

Ironically, EMIYA took offence to Issei copying off his cooking skills hence the impromptu cook off where EMIYA copied Issei's ability to add foodgasm effects. Such was the battle between fakers in the kitchen where Shirou was being comforted by his sister who was too young to be eating EMIYA's and Issei's cooking lest they turn themselves in for paedophilia.

Meanwhile in Earthland, March 5, X782.

It's been a handful of months but I have been feeling rather proud of my work. I have stayed here without dispelling for months already. Not that it's a long time considering the decades some shadow clones had stayed in existence to perfect weapon techniques and chakra techniques.

Wait, that's like… fuck, I'm essentially centuries old, mentally at least. Oh great, I'm digressing again, uhh, time to get back to narrating what I've done for the umpteenth time so that I won't go crazy.

I had set up his guild in Fiore's eastern neighbour, the kingdom of Bosco. Which has a thriving slave trade and was also the place where Bora, the villain of the first episode, was going to ship off the girls he had kidnapped to.

It is a place rife with corruption, discontent and people that I have no qualms about killing. Great for recruiting and for starting a revolution.

Assassination is one of those activities that are frowned upon by the Magic Council. And compulsion spells can't carry me to victory here, although it still works very well. Still, in a few years' time I will have enough influence among the people from all walks of life and once that happens I will rule this country in the name of Akatsuki!

I really would be happier if many of his members were not discount versions of the ones from the elemental nations. Well, at least they're strong.

But did so many of them have to be hot women? Really Earthland? What have they been feeding these people!

It's really hard to be a shadow clone when you have a wife somewhere else.

Is it wrong to feel NTRed by yourself in another dimension?

Maybe I should just give in to the oppai?

Argh! Better take my time off on this by learning more about the One Magic.

Meanwhile, in an instant dungeon off in the elemental nations (Issei Clones)

"Hey Issei, what day is it?"

"I think it's still Monday. Have we passed a year already?"

"Definitely at least a year."

"I'm fucking bored. Can we like, learn a new magecraft?"

"Issei, we should learn [Flash Air]! I mean, the Ainsworth took a magic which people used to grab TV remotes from a distance into something kickass!"

"Yeah! Flash Air FTW!"

"Come to think of it, [Hypnosis] is also part of a typical mage's skill set."

"Yeah, but who the fuck do we practice it on? We're fucking immune."

"Point taken."

"All in favour of Flash Air?"

"Hell Yes!"

"Fuck Yeah!"

"Do you think we can combine millions of black keys into this one giant black key and put it in space?"

"Why do you want to do that?"

"It does extra damage to demons right? So, can't it be like, a satellite Black Key that can be shot from space into the underworld?"

"Dude, take your ideas of mass destruction and push it somewhere else."

"Can we take over Britannia? No wait, let's suggest the research Issei's to get some Sakuradite. Just in case we ever want to make FLEIJA and hold the world hostage."

"Yeah, that can be our back up plan if the world starts going to shit."

"Also, Gundams!"

"You mean Knightmares?"

"SAME THING!"

"The entire show was a pizza hut commercial!"

"HERESY! It was a complex and immersive story that was filled with a lot of emotional turmoil."

"Didn't we watch it just for Kallen's boobs and C.C.'s ass?"

"Shush, we're practising the common magus's technique of self-hypnosis."

"That's a lie and you know it."