Summary: The war between Jotunheim and Asgard draws to a close, but thanks to a horrible twist of Fate (or perhaps not), the nameless runt of Laufey-King is not discovered by Odin and so begins a remarkable journey of life that should not have been. Jotun!Loki AU. Set pre-/during-/after Thor/Avengers Assemble. MCU-verse only.
Warnings: ANGST! Loki-whump! Language, adult situations, violence, child abuse, dub-con, sexual assault (also of a minor), substance abuse, one abortion scene (sort of), slavery, sex trade (maybe), some mild original character/Loki M/M pairings.
Comments: This is not a slash fic. Sorry. It's Loki-centric, although I definitely show the rest of the Avengers and etc. Please review! Constructive criticism welcome.
Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers. Marvel owns it. I do not get paid for this piece of work. Sadly, but understandably. LOL.
Thanks a ton everyone! More people are faving and alerting this - which is so encouraging to me! And a huge thank you and round of applause for those who were kind enough to give me a shout out and chat!
Thanks to: Double-Gemini (more shall unfold - I promise), DragonsFlame117 (haha), wbss21 (thank you!), ClaMiAl (welcome!), Immortal Sailor Cosmos (Odin... has a big role in this fic... XD).
So I was replanning some of my plot stuff and it seems like it is going to be a bit longer than I thought... more like 65 chapters! So I hope you guys can hang in there with me!
Warning! Slavery! Warning! Gladiator stuffs and violence! Warning! A WHIPPING! Warning!
Distortions In Time
[Bitter Desolation, Incandescent Harmony]
Chapter 25
Day By Day I
Voices were rising from the back of the training room – a tall, lithe, slightly scaled youthful Phantolaxamene was nose to nose (yet again) with the ever vocal slave known as "Exon the Powerful", also playfully nicknamed "the Busty Blonde". Prince Thor in disguise. Not for long, however, Kol'la judged, moving down the room to the warriors he was in charge of. It is only his fifth day here, and he keeps flapping his brainless tongue. The idiotic oaf.
"Rok'ka," the lithe youth inserted himself between the Enforcer and the slave and raised his hands in appeasement. "I apologize for this idiot's tongue. You must understand he has the wits of a child –"
"I. Am. Not. A. Child!" huffed Thor.
"You could have fooled me," Kol'la replied sharply. "You have not entered the Pits yet and already you have raised your fists seventeen times – perhaps you were born for battle after all."
"You dare speak to me this way? I am –"
"Exon the Powerful. The Busty Blonde," Kol'la reminded the tall warrior and he nudged his sharp elbow into a sensitive spot between Thor's ribs which caused a short 'oof' to come out of the prince-in-disguise. "I might as well call you Muscled Moron for all the sense in you –" Here, Kol'la turned back to the Enforcer and smiled appeasingly. "We apologize –"
"The man insulted the great Phantolaxa. Reparation…"
"Speak with Master Shax if you wish for a legitimate challenge –"
"I do not need any authority to protect my honour," Thor said.
"He appears to agree with me –"
"The both of you –"
"Get out of the way, boy –"
"Our fists shall meet in glorious combat –"
"STOP! Please!" Kol'la green magic shot out and unpleasantly zapped the two quarrelling warriors. "Exon, this is an Enforcer. A freed Slave who works as a fighter – and you must pay him respect. Furthermore, to disrespect Phantolaxa is tantamount to calling Odin All-Father a One-Eyed –"
"You dare call my –"
"See? You see how that is infuriating? How do you think Rok'ka feels?" A pause. Kol'la shot Thor the evil eye before turning back to the Phantolaxamene. "Now, let us part ways and –"
Kol'la never saw Rok'ka's fist coming. One second he was standing before Thor's broad chest, next he was sent tumbling to the floor, nearly blacking out from the pain which spread up sharply from his jaw into his head. Light flared – dimmed – flared – and sound disappeared and then descended with a roar. A literal roar since Thor's ever booming voice was lifted in a familiar war cry, joined by the other fighters also exercising in the large work out room – now all viciously clawing and wrestling each other to the ground. Thor hurled himself at the Phantolaxamene, cursing the alien's parentage and emperor of said planetary system.
Below, Kol'la had an impression of shadows shifting as Thor's bulk moved over him protectively, fists rising to land two hard blows on the Rok'ka's sensitive snout.
No, no, nononono – Master Shax will have my head for this – unless... Wildly, he looked about. The others were being herded efficiently by the guards out of the room. The two Asgardians were yelling at Thor – to no avail. As usual, when the battle called, the prince of Asgard became rather single-minded.
Kol'la cursed and summoning as much magic as his collar would allow, he let the green seep out and then at a muttered command and twisting sigils, the magic materialized and light green ropes snaked forward at lightning speed to pull at the combatants feet. Sweeping both arms to the sides, Kol'la pulled the Phantolaxamene and Asgardian apart. Another blast of magic knocked the scaly alien unconscious. Thor picked himself up and dusted himself off, blue eyes wide as the green magic disappeared.
"Kol'la! You did not tell me that you were a noble warrior!"
"I am not –"
"Well, magic is usually something for old men and women, but with some training, you seem as though you would be a fair match against –"
"Silence, fool!" hissed Kol'la.
More guards were pouring into the room, bundling the Phantolaxamene out and "subduing" the wild Asgardian warrior and his Handler. Kol'la said nothing – his green eyes burning holes into Thor's relaxed profile. Obviously, the warrior was not worried about his immediate future.
Of course not, Kol'la grumbled to himself. He is Master Shax's newest prize, but you, Kol'la, are not so lucky.
You never were.
-0-0-0-
Twenty minutes later found Kol'la and his charge in Master Shax's Operational Office still getting a nasty dressing down from the very irate Battle-House owner, who paced back and forth and loomed over the tall, thin Handler and his equally tall, brawny Fighter. Apparently Rok'ka had been slated for a fight earlier that evening – and now they would have to find a replacement for him. Behind him, Thor stood, silent. No doubt realizing our true positions for the first time in his life, Kol'la thought bitterly, his fists curling and uncurling with barely contained rage. And of course we both get into trouble because of his short temper, spoiled nature and inability to control his tongue.
"Exon, you appear to have no interest in listening to your Handler, your Liaison," Shax ended, frowning at the two. "No respect, but some care, I hear..." The iron-skinned alien tapped his lip. Pressed a button and called for the Third Madame. "I have an idea which will, I hope, teach you both a lesson. Kol'la, that you may learn to nip things earlier in the bud and use your abilities with due diligence. Exon, that you may better protect the ones who can protect you. Madame," here, the tall alien turned to the stoic woman. "We have a lesson we need taught today. The Vasha'anas, I think, will do."
Kol'la's throat suddenly felt rather dry – and he wet his lips, unconsciously gulping – green eyes wide. But his mouth and chin firmed as the Madame crossed over to Master Shax's private cabinets, opened a thin drawer and carefully withdrew the electro-whip curled up neatly inside. The electro-whip was what Master Shax enjoyed using when needing to make a point. Kol'la's back stiffened even as Thor behind him raised a muted protest. Shax whipped around then and raised an eyebrow at his newest piece of property. Thor fell silent again – practically sulking like a little child.
The Vasha'anas...
In a world filled with hollow promises and fleeting illusions, there were no real memories of the people who had once roamed the small, once-green planet. Bands of nomads, the space pirates say, who worshipped the stars and trees and rivers and smoked the blossoms of the purple-speckled white leaves of the Vasha'ana plant. So named after the Goddess of Oblivion, for within its fragrant clouds, one could look, it was said, into the World That Is Not, the World that lies beyond What Is. A mythic place – The World That Is Not and it is ruled, the nomads taught before they disappeared along with the last of their planet's kind, by the Goddess of Oblivion. Some say Vasha'ana is Valhalla, others believe it is pure bliss, others think it is a tale for comfort alone and no less delusional than the ramblings of drug-addled minds in the udji'oo dens. Yet others believe that it is the Ultimate of Nothing – a state of existence that is non-existence. A beautiful paradox.
[... embrace it...]
Obeying the clipped instructions of the Third Madame – a hefty Skrull with a sure hand, deft eye and long experience – Kol'la stripped to the waist, mutely placed his palms on the left wall of the Boss's office (expressly left bare for this purpose), legs placed slightly apart. The Madame's fingers drifted along his neck as she adjusted his metallic collar's settings, removing most of his magic abilities, hindering Kol'la's abilities to heal right away.
Now, he was ready. He waited. And braced himself for the pain.
[... The eventual Nothingness...]
[... It is Vasha'anas...]
[... some call it the Void...]
[... and worship it...]
Ten lashes, Master Shax said. Ten. Kol'la closed his eyes. Inhaled. Tried to stay relaxed, yet ready for the first cut.
[... no one can be ready for the first lash...]
[... this is the voracious bite of the Visha'anas...]
The long-whip's crack barely gave him enough time – and the long, rough, cutting woven wires laid the first fierce red weal across his shoulders. Lightly muscled arms nearly buckled as the whip dragged across pale skin, tearing away at muscle and skin..
One.
The air crackled. The Visha'anas crackled with energy – it vibrated and howled in the atomic spaces – and the electricity ran along the core of the whip, giving the young slave a nasty shock as it cut again – this time only a little below the first lash.
Two.
How long will this last? Kol'la thought wildly, biting hard on his lip, attempting to keep down any cries attempting to vocalize themselves.
Three.
He would not cry. He would not cry. He would not break. He would show no fear. He was Jotunn. He was Ulfrbarn. He was Kol'la.
Four.
Nails scratched on the wall as his back arched a little – a vain, automatic attempt to escape – aborted by fear that Master Shax would add to this –
Five.
Ahhhh... A whimper rose then. He could feel something trickling down his chin, and his mouth filled with the now familiar taste of iron. Blood. Kol'la must have bitten through his lip –
Six. Seven. Eight.
By the eighth, Kol'la was crying silently, steadily, his breath coming in ragged gasps – but he did not beg. Nor did he squirm, flinch away or fall. Digging his feet in, the young man forced himself to remain upright and moderately conscious. He would not dishonour –
Nine.
Oh. By the Norns, by the Eybjarg – the Eybjarg – he could see it now. A darkness. An empty, hungry dark place ever haunting his dreams. Nightmares of his childhood and returning to this living dark dream. Would that be what he saw until the end of time – until his death?
No. Dear heart...
Little Lagreinn. We are waiting. Always -
Elska, Kol'la thought for the first time in many winters. Elska... Please...
[... perhaps, in the end, that is what it is...]
[... Visha'anas...]
[... it is our loved ones gone before...]
But the soft voices were so faint. So faint. He was alone. Perhaps, a dark part of him mocked the young boy crying the cupboard, perhaps you were always alone. Kol'la was alone. There was only him and pain and blinding dark and fire and a far away voice ending the count.
Ten.
What was Visha'anas?
Perhaps, he thought dizzily, it is only what we make it. Or it is everything – Mage Opna's cruel smirk, Thyrstr's fists, Boss-man's taunts and Shax's indifference – everything that is dark in us – and we will never overcome the Void. It will always be there...
Join it. Embrace. Accept. You are alone.
No, dear heart, not alone. Never alone -
Kol'la found himself falling forward, still mute, happily mute – but oh, the pain! Green eyes lifted disoriented and groggy to meet blue and gold and garish red.
Thor. Exon the Powerful. The Busty Blonde. Muscled Moron.
- you are not alone –
"No, I am not," he mumbled in rather incoherent agreement to himself. "Unfortunately. You are surrounded by fools. Again."
Kol'la fainted.
-0-0-0-
It was Thor who took him to the Medic room on the seventh floor for a rough patch-up job and then Kol'la's bed for much needed rest. At some point, Kol'la woke thirsty and as dry as a mountain ice-desert – but large, warm hands raised his head and held a cup close by and, with great patience, helped him drink his fill. Kol'la fell asleep again on his side – too drugged to visit his nightmare lands that night.
When he woke the next time, the first thing Kol'la saw was Thor – sprawled in the rickety chair by his bed, snoring. Snoring as loudly as an aged jarnkottr. Kol'la glared at the brawny warrior. By slow degrees, Kol'la pried himself upward, choking back sharp cries of pain – managed to edge one leg off the bed to kick Thor hard enough, knocking the sleeping prince off his precarious seat. Thor woke with a rather nasty thud on the floor.
"You snore," Kol'la snarked, trying to find a more comfortable position on his hard bed and failing. "Oaf."
Thor just grinned.
-0-0-0-
"I am truly sorry," Thor finally said much later that day, sometime after supper. He shifted awkwardly in the bent, metal chair – obviously not used to making apologies. "I was not thinking."
"When do you ever?"
Thor laughed then.
"You sound like my mother."
A pause.
"I miss her."
"Hm. Well. No use whining about it. Good night," Kol'la grunted, not certain how to answer to Thor's words. He turned awkwardly onto his side, back to Thor and wished the warrior would return to his own bed which was further down the room by the door. Perhaps Thor would take the hint and leave him alone...
No such luck.
"Do you have a mother, Kol'la?"
"Good. Night. Exon."
The lights were turned off – for which Kol'la was glad. He did not wish Thor to see any trace of the envy he carried within. A mother who scolded him. A father who would obliterate planets for him. That seemed too good to be true. Too good to be true for one such as him, certainly.
It does not bear thinking on, the abandoned Jotun told himself, willing his eyes to remain empty of tears. You are lucky enough to be alive. Be grateful for the time you have been given.
"I am truly, truely sorry, Kol'la. I will attempt to control what I say and not get us into trouble."
Thor still there. Still attempting to make awkward apologies. And Kol'la found that within the flower of annoyance there was a small seed of relief. He was not alone. Against all reason, a supposed-Prince sat by him and reached out a hand time and again. Six days ago, he would not have believed it.
"I know," Kol'la sighed. A pause. Then he added: "This time, consider us even. But do not make a habit of it."
But of course Thor did. They both did.
[... this is how brothers are born...]
[... through adversity...]
Ha! Thor! Idiot man! But he means well - but he's totally not learning his lesson as quickly as he ought! (In relation to Thor maturing.. it's gonna take a LONG while!)
Please let me know what you think!
-KI
Numbers (for this quadrant):
0 - nai
1 - sa
2 - tho
3 - frei
4 - ah
5 - ko
6 - yul
7 - vee
8 - mah
9 - lei
Alien Glossary:
Dou'ma – idiot
r'senk'ne – a kind of deer/cow hybrid
n'ch'nka – a kind of cow
chi'iano – a radioactive piece of rock similar to uranium
kol-sava'atha – a titanium-rich ore
oma'auzha – mother-effer
udji'oo – a drug, like opium
Jotunheim Glossary:
Aldinn Stathr – Ancient Place
Atfirth – energies
blakkrbjorr – black beer
Blakkrbjorn – black bear
blakkrgras – black grass
blargras – blue grass
Dagaheim
dvegr – dwarf
dyrspeki – zoologist
Eybjarg (Chasms of Forever)
fauld – a part of armour around the lower midsection
Flara River – Treacherous River
For-Eldra – Ancestors
Forn Vegr – Old Ways
Gastropnir
Gnottvatn (Lake of Abundance)
Gothahus – temple
Grarfjall – Grey Mountains
grarulfr – grey wolves
Griotunagardar
hafnathr – sea serpents
heillgrjot – healing stones
Heimsrsal – Soul of the Realm
heithrsker – crystal flowers
Holdra River – Hero's River
holkimurtr – small flat fish
Holkn Vollr – Flat Plains
holmganga – a method of ending feuds/disagreements
hota-eik – white oak
hvaeta – wheat
Innaheim – Inner Realm
jarnkottr – iron cat (beast which Laufey released in Thor)
jarnvithr – iron wood
Kaldrfjall (Cold Mountains)
Kero Fornvetr – Casket of Ancient Winters
kostrboth – a method of proving virility for the purpose of marriage
lagreinn – small one (epithet)
Lengi Ofrithr – Long War
luthrblom – trumpet flower
manisilfr – moonsilver
melrakki – white fox
Myrkr Skogr – shadow forest
Nattura – spirits
Northri Stjarna – North Star
silvralmr – silver elm
silvrfiskr – silver fish
Sithr Efingi – True Heir
Skalldi
skordyr – Jotunheim goat
snaerharra – snow rabbit
Storrholl – Great Hall
thurblakulfr – giant black wolves
tunglbom (moonflower)
ulfrbarn - wolf child
Utanheim – Outer Realm
Utgard
vaetki – nothing
ventrmellin – winter melon
villrkyr – wild ox
Virtha Aevi – Coming of Age
Vollrvatn – Lake of the Plains