Author's Note: The following chapter has been censored. If you are over the age of eighteen and would like to read the full version, you can find it on AO3. See my profile for the link.

In the week that followed, things went well between me and Draco. I felt increasing guilt each time I lied to him, but I daren't tell him the truth and one look at our daughter was always enough to solidify my conviction. He either didn't notice, didn't dwell on it, or didn't care what was bothering me, because he never said anything. We fell into a groove with one another and talked more, although the subject of his missing week and a half was pushed aside and forgotten about for a time.

I started spending my mornings and afternoon with Draco and the children, before finding something else to do in the evenings, such as visiting my friends, the Weasleys, and Teddy and Andromeda. Occasionally I'd go out during the day and then I'd fetch Teddy for supper with the Malfoys.

Sometimes I took Cissa out with me, especially for Weasley family dinners, but Draco preferred when I left her there with him. He really only let me take her, when he had plans to visit his father. He almost never went anywhere, always having his friends and family over to the Manor instead of leaving himself. The exception to that were his visit with his father in the Ministry Jail in London. He liked to go by himself on Sunday afternoons, which was conveniently for me, the day and time when the Weasleys held their weekly family dinners. And conveniently for Draco, it was when his friend Daphne was available to watch the twins.

The Malfoys had hired a lawyer and were prepared to spend months battling in court for a sentence reduction, but it proved unnecessary. At the very first hearing on the subject, the presiding Warlock granted the motion for a sentence reduction and ordered Lucius moved to the jail. He winked at me as he dismissed the court session, indicating that it was a case of blatant favoritism towards me. Sometimes the favoritism really pushes my buttons and makes me angry that I'm not treated like any other normal person; but then sometimes it's nice to be able to get my boyfriend's father moved to the more convenient jail, instead of having to make the journal to Azkaban with a baby.

Iona too was regularly visiting Lucius without me, since the visitation rules were far more lax at the jail, compared to Azkaban. Although, she never went with us on Wednesday when Draco and I took the children. With the three children, Wednesday mornings were hectic and often headache inducing, so it was not surprising that the old witch wanted no part of it. But other than said chaos, things went well.

The biggest conflict during that time was regarding the twins' clothes. I'd convince Draco not to buy white, but failed to convince him to keep buying Roadrick red clothes. I blamed the red hair on visiting the Weasleys, not Roadrick's clothes, citing as evidence in favor the fact that when the baby did red, she always did strawberry blond, not true red. That comment set off a bad reaction in Draco as one of his dreams came to the forefront of his thoughts again. I convinced him to forget the bad dream, but I couldn't say the same about the clothes.

In the end, Draco ordered Roadrick a wardrobe full of yellow clothes. That led to many tantrums from the three year old, making it common place to hear the phrase, "I hate lel-loah! I wan' red!" Draco said to give it time and that it'd pass, but I always felt a sting of guilt when I heard it.

That got me thinking about what other color Roadrick could be offered, specifically one that wouldn't offend Draco's senses if Cissa was tempted to copy it. Most colors were out, but not all of them. Black, brown, grey, and even silver would look somewhat normal as a hair color. Roadrick didn't consider black, brown, or grey legitimate colors, which limited the choice down to silver; the toddler was impressed by the shiny gleam. Draco was skeptical at first, but Teddy insisted that metallic colors were hard to do. So when a trial set of silver robes failed to produce a baby with silver hair, Draco caved and purchased Roadrick a new wardrobe in silver.

I decided to make our two week anniversary special, starting with Draco's gift. I was still giving him presents once a day, which had all been received well, but what I was really hoping for was to wow him. For that I was employing the flower arrangement I'd ordered special for him with his favorite flowers. I arranged for it to be ready for our anniversary and then surprised him with the beautiful black and white bouquet after putting the children to bed.

He didn't know that there was anything special about this day. Not only was two weeks not usually celebrated, but also he thought that our relationship had started three, almost four weeks ago. I didn't want to get into that can of worms, so I decided not to tell him and say that the gift was just because. We'd both already changed into our pajamas and he was in the middle of his bedtime routine, having just brushed his teeth and was now applying numerous beauty potions to his face, hair, and body, when the delivery elf arrived with a pop.

He gasped and stood suddenly when he saw it, his mouth hanging open in surprise. The elf set it down on his chest of drawers and he walked closer to examine it. I wouldn't have thought he'd be so surprise, since I'd bought him black and white flowers before. Only those had been whatever the florist had in stock and these were his favorites.

"I hope that's a good shock," I said, wrapping my arms around him from behind. I pressed my lips to his neck, nuzzling my nose behind his ear.

"It is. How did you know?" he asked in awe.

"You told me they were your favorites. I said that when we got off that island, I'd get your favorites for you. It took me a bit of time to get them, but here they are." It was a lie, but the lie was beginning to feel real to me.

"Thank you," he replied, turning around in my arms to face me.

He leaned in and our lips connected. I opened my mouth for his probing tongue and melted in his arms. It was hot and passionate and paused only long enough to take a gasp of breath before he was back on me again. I could hear my blood pulsing through the veins in my ears as my blood rushed south. What I wanted more than anything in that moment was to shag him good and hard.

My hands were all over his body, rubbing and caressing, as I traveled downwards. I passed his nipples and then found his arse, slipping my hands under the waistband of his pajamas. I pressed his body into mine, creating rough friction between the pajama bottoms separating our bodies. I began to rock forward and pull his bum closer to me, before releasing and repeating the cycle.

We were snogging frantically and dry humping while standing up, when it occurred to me that this might go better lying down. I began leading him to the bed, taking one small step back at a time and making him follow. We were almost to the bed when he started pushing me away, his hands on my chest and his mouth pulled away from mine.

"Stop," he whispered.

His head was turned away from me, so that I couldn't catch his lips, which was why I started sucking on his neck. He moaned, but then said, "Stop," again, not sounding convincing at all.

I was really horny at this point. I'd been in his bed every night for two weeks, snogging and spooning him until he fell asleep. It'd been almost a month since the last time we'd fucked and I needed a release very badly. I'd been patient, waiting for him to recover from the birth, but he was no longer in any pain and there was no reason we couldn't frot against each other until we obtained a mutual release. I didn't want to stop.

"Stop!" he yelled, pushing me firmly.

This time his command registered in my brain and I stopped immediately. "Huh?" I asked.

"I said stop Potter. Let me go," he clarified.

I loosened my grip and he pulled away, sitting down on the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head cupped in his hands. He looked to be both distressed and deep in thought.

"What's wrong?" I asked, moving to sit next to him, my hand caressing his blond hair, before trailing down his neck to his back. He didn't answer immediately, so I took the time to caress my way back up his neck and stroked his cheek. "Hmm?"

He huffed and then said, "I can't do this. I don't know how I ever did it before."

"We don't have to have sex; I just wanted to make us feel good." I moved my other hand to his side, caressing up and down his waist.

"No, it's not the sex, you imbecile!"

"Then what can't you do?"

"The relationship! The romance! The feelings! I don't know how to do it again!"

"Again?" I asked, hand pausing in my movements, because I wanted to know what he meant.

He huffed again, before saying, "I was in love before. He left me."

"And you never got over it?"

He nodded and asked, "Have you noticed I don't speak to Blaise or Pansy anymore?"

"No…I haven't."

"Well I don't."

When he didn't get to the point after half a minute, I asked. "Why?"

"Blaise because he's dating Pansy."
"You were dating Pansy in Hogwarts, weren't you?" I was starting to wonder if Draco was still in love with Pansy, although that didn't seem possible, given that he was gay.

"Yes, but only as a way to get closer to her older brother Pernell. He was gorgeous, blond hair, brown eyes, tall, lean, and handsome."

"So you switched from dating Pansy to dating Pernell?"

"Yes. I spent a lot of time over at her house after the war, occasionally spending the night. I couldn't sleep one night, so I went for a walk in the gardens. He was having a late night swim in the lake, naked. He invited me in. I stripped and went. I was apprehensive at first, fearing he wouldn't return my feelings, but then he started touching me a lot. Before I knew it we were snogging with our bits pressed together, humping away in the water. After that night, I told Pansy we could only be friends, because I fancied her brother."

"I bet she didn't take that one well."

He shrugged. "Not at first, but she's Pansy. She quickly re-insinuated herself into my life, only as my gal-friend instead of my romantic interest. Pernell asked me out and it got serious from there. A few years after the war, when things had settled down and the trials were over, I thought Pernell and I should make it official. I asked him to marry me."

"And?"

"And he said no. He said he couldn't marry me, because he needed to provide an heir for his family. He wanted to marry a witch to produce a child and fuck me on the side; he thought I should do the same. I tried to explain to him that we didn't need witches to produce our heirs and that we could have a child with just the two of us. I told him about my religion and that male pregnancy was possible on the island, even though I knew I wasn't supposed to tell outsiders. He didn't believe me or he didn't want to believe me. The Parkinsons are Church of England and he wouldn't even think about my suggestion, because it went against his stupid religious beliefs," he explained.

"What happened then?"

"Well then he stopped responding to my owls and blocked my access to his floo. I tried contacting Pansy, begging her to intercede on my behalf. I couldn't lose him."

He broke down in sobs then and I pulled him into my lap, pressing soothing kisses to his hair and running my arms up and down his torso. "You loved him," I supplied.

"I…still…do…only…I…hate…him…more."

"He broke your heart?" I asked and he nodded into my chest, bending his head down to reach. "It's his loss, because you, Draco Malfoy, are a wonderful catch. You're smart, funny, gorgeous, and great in bed. You're better off without that looser. I would never leave you. I wouldn't do that to you."

Draco stopped crying and moved towards the bed, to lie down. I followed, cuddling him quietly for a time. I had a lot to think about, like the fact that he was still in love with someone he couldn't have. I also tried to fit this knowledge into what I knew of his life. He said this had happened sometime after the war trials finished, which I figured was maybe a year before he lost his mother. He must've been trying to get over the heartache when he was struck with a worse tragedy: the deaths of his maternal grandparents and mother. After that, he'd holed himself up in his cave to be away from the world and had the twins. At least the idiot wasn't the twin's dad and he didn't have that sort of constant reminder of the wizard who had left him, but it did explain why he was single and willing to have babies by himself.

It occurred to me then that now that I knew why he was so reluctant, we could finally move towards building a real relationship. I'd have to help him get over the Parkinson git and show him that I really wasn't going to leave him. In time he'd have to open up and love again and I was going to be there when it happened.

As these thoughts went through my head, my hands began to wander again, running up and down his body. My excitement returned and I soon found myself kissing up and down his neck while humping his hip.

"Harry?" Draco asked, causing me to stop mid-hump.

"Yes."

"Can we sit back up and finish talking?"

I acquiesced and disentangled myself from his body. We resumed our earlier positions, only this time my hands were in my lap as I waited for what he was going to say.

"So, um…I don't know if I can ever get passed Pernell to be with anyone, including you. I don't know how I got past it before. It was so quick that I don't even understand how I could've. How could I have had sex with you every night that week? It just doesn't make sense," he said, hands moving up and down in his lap for emphasis.

"You did it the same way you did it the first night. You remember coming to me then, don't you?"

"Yes, but then I thought only of using you to pleasure myself. I was horny and incapable of getting off on my own in that state. I remembered what a nice penis you had, even better than Pernell's, and thought it'd do. There were no emotions involved, just sex."

"I'm not so sure the other nights were any different. Sure you said the first night that you were using me and we were never to talk about it again and you didn't say those things again. But we sort of had this understanding that we wouldn't talk about it still. I'd assumed we were moving forward, but I didn't know about your past, so maybe I was wrong."

"How much sex did we have, exactly?"

"A lot. At least once each night. More at the beginning, less as the week progressed, because then you were already sore." The lie came naturally now.

"Fuck," he said blushing.

"Yes, that was the idea."

"No, I mean, shite, your sex must have been really good. You got me addicted to your penis, is what must've happened. Is it as big as I remember?"

"It's large, but it's not huge. How big do you remember?" He blushed and shook his head, so I asked, "Do you want to see it?" He stared at me with wide eyes and I thought he was on the verge of saying yes. "Do you want to touch it?" I let my hand slide down, pressing the material of my pajama bottoms, to show him the outline.

Draco nodded and held out his hand, which I then guided inside my pants. He squeezed his hand around it and then jumped, as if he'd scared himself. He quickly pulled his hand out of my pants, clasped it in his lap, and started fidgeting.

"Well, what do you think?" I prodded.

"It's big; really big. That's what I always loved about Pernell's: it was big. He got me addicted to his cock and then left me to go without. Then you come along and yours is even bigger." He let out a sound of frustration, as if he were upset with himself for falling for good cock.

"Look, if you get addicted to mine, it's not going to be a problem. I'm going to be here to fuck you as much as you want, whenever you want. Even if we're fighting, all you have to do is say you're horny and sit your arse down on my lap. I'll let you have your way with me and get your release. I'm not going to hold sex over your head."

He nodded, but still seemed apprehensive.

"You do mean you want to bottom again, don't you? Because if you wanted to top, we could do that too." I'd bottomed before and didn't mind. Draco was well proportioned down there, so I figured he'd know how to use it.

"Merlin no! Why would I want to do that?" He asked. I shrugged, wondering how he could not want it. "I can top with my hand. If I'm having sex, I want a big fat cock in my arse."

"That can be arranged."
"Do you like to bottom?"

"I normally end up doing it, but I prefer to top," I answered with a shrug.

"Good."

"Have you ever topped?"

"No. Pernell wanted to top and he was older, bigger, and more experienced, so he got his way. I might've insisted on it before the war, but after…it just felt more natural this way. I fell in love with it and never wanted to try the other way around."

"You really did get addicted to cock, didn't you?"

"You have no idea."

"Why don't you show me?"

"I don't know…"

"I don't want to push you, so we can just do whatever you're ready for. I can wait for sex."

"I don't know…"

"What don't you know?" I prodded.

He let out a sigh of frustration, before answering, "If I can do this. If I can love again. How to be in a relationship." He waved his hands around for emphasis.

"Look, there is no need to rush this. If you don't love me yet, that's fine. This is still new. I just need you to keep trying and eventually the love will build. And if it doesn't work out, we'll deal with that later. We'll share the kids fairly and if you still need a bit of cock, we can arrange that too. I'm not going to hurt you the way that Parkinson git did," I swore. With my celebrity and my aversion to dating groupies, in addition to my preferring dominant bottoms, I'd been single since the breakup with Ginny years ago. If this relationship didn't work out, I'd go right back to being terminally single. And if that was the case, there was no reason I couldn't continue to satisfy Draco sexually.

Truthfully, I didn't know how much love I felt for him either. There was desire, want, passion, and maybe a bit of obsession, but true love takes time and we had only been together for two weeks. I thought there was a kernel of love there and hoped that buried behind his anxiety, he had a kernel of love for me too. A kernel was all we needed to start; it was all that was required to grow and build upon.

"How do I try? What am I supposed to be doing here?" He sounded so broken, like he'd lost all confidence when it came to love. In that moment, I wanted to punch Parkinson in the face for doing this to him.

"Just be here with me. Do you think you can do that?" I asked and he nodded. "And do you think you could let me make love to you? Let me show you how I feel? You don't have to return the feeling right away. You only have to enjoy it. Do you think you can enjoy it?"

"Yes," he answered breathily.

That seemed to be all he needed to hear. He was suddenly confident again and taking control, just as he'd done the previous times. He crashed his lips to mine, pulling at my pajama bottoms. He left my clothes around my thighs, switching his attention to his own clothes. I helped, tugging at his buttons. Once naked, he climbed onto my lap, muttered a lubrication spell, and got into position, but I stopped him there. I didn't want this to be another mad dash to the end, without feeling. I wanted to show him that I could worship his body. I got the feeling he'd never had anyone do that for him before.

"Let me show you," I said, shrugging off my remaining clothes, before pushing him back on the bed. He complied and lay there waiting for me.

I trailed kisses down his neck and across his chest, to his nipples. I let my fingers trace up and down his sides and trail down his thighs. I kissed and sucked his mouth until his lips were swollen and he was panting for breath. Then I moved lower, taking him into my mouth, one hand sifting through the line of blond hairs on his belly and the other gripping one of his thighs, holding his legs apart so that the instinctual press of his legs together didn't crush my head. He was moaning and gasping like he'd never had this done to him before and maybe he hadn't; either he was always too eager to be in control or Parkinson was a right selfish arse and didn't reciprocate.

His hips started bucking up and I nearly choked. I pulled away just far enough to say, "Lie still, will you? You act like you've never had your dick sucked before."

He gasped at the feeling of my breath wafting over him. "I haven't," he replied with a groan.

Later I would ask him about it and confirm that Parkinson had refused to do this to him, but for now I concentrated on satisfying him sexually. "Right, well spread your legs and keep your hips still."

Draco did his best to obey, but he wasn't particularly good at keeping still, especially when my fingers entered him. He spread his thighs wide and kept them that way as I stretched him, but his hips still bucked occasionally and his back arched up off of the bed. He tossed his head from side to side and gripped the sheets with his hands. Then he let out a loud moan that may have been an attempt to warn me, but in actuality didn't come out much like English. His thighs quivered and shook, before snapping shut around my head. Then his hips buck upped, his heels digging into the mattress and it was over.

When he was ready for round two, he lay down missionary and I made slow, sweet love to him for the better part of an hour. That ended when he ordered me to fuck him good and hard, which I tried my best to do.

*Censored

It wasn't quite as good as on the island, but it was still highly pleasurable. He was a good fuck and if getting him addicted to my cock was all I had to do to keep him, then I was willing to do just that. And maybe I could make him love me too…

Author's Note: So there's the first of their serious discussion about their relationship. Draco has finally opened up and revealed what is bothering him. I hope it makes more sense now where he's coming from and why he's so emotionally scared.

I think next chapter Harry will be going back to the island, to help with the terrorist siege and wrap up that part of the plot.

Please review!