#25 He Lives In You - Lion King II

Darkness engulfed the entirety of the city as the day came to an end, the rain had ceased and the storm had passed, but sadly not the same could be said for the roaring tempest that still raged on in the heart of the now fatherless child. What had he done to deserve such a thing? It is true that he had wronged in the past, but why take the life of a loved one in proxy of himself? Has he committed a sin so heavy that his one and only family, save for his future mate, had to be ripped apart from his side? Why must the universe torment this innocent and broken child!? Such were the thoughts of the grieving fox as he sat on the bed contemplating. Judy had fallen asleep several minutes ago and was currently giving out a series of cute snores as her head leaned on Nick's shoulder. Under normal circumstances the todd would have spent the night watching her closely, studying all her features and admiring the sudden adorable yawns that would escape from her muzzle, but tonight was much gloomier and darker.

How could she fall asleep!? He screamed to himself, slightly angered at the calm vibe Judy gave off as she slept. Then again maybe it was jealousy; he craved for a good night's rest as he hasn't been able to sleep for the past four nights, but even if his life depended on it, he couldn't find rest. Negative thoughts and horrid nightmares robbed him of his sleep, he hadn't felt so helpless and pained since the day he left his home, but even then he still had family, a small yet promising gleam of hope to cling on to to get by the days. Now? Not so.

Why am I like this anyways? It's not like anyone died right? Oh right, heh heh... Humour was a form of escapisms for Nick, but even that was too dark for him. Why must my entire life revolve around sadness and heartbreaks? It's like the universe has a bone to pick with me... he thought, because it certainly did.

The fox shifted atop the bed to assume a more comfortable position, all the while moving cautiously lest he wakes Judy from her sleep. The doe beside him squirmed slightly at his sudden movement and lazily tossed her arms around his torso, there was a sudden burst of relief that came with her bringing him into her embrace, it wasn't able to break Nick from the pain or give him strength to conquer it all, but it was just enough to get through the night. With whatever courage and willpower he had left, the fox dared himself to think back to the events that had unfolded itself that evening almost a week ago, the events that will forever change his life.

Rain poured heavily as clouds formed a blanket that spread across the once bright sky, shades of grey blocked rays of light from bringing warmth and life to the land below. As a withering plant, the area that was bustling with many mammals slowly died off in terms of activity, only a handful of mammals battled against the harsh weather and remained out in the open, the large majority decided to take refuge in sheltered places. Amongst the handful were a fox and a bunny who had rain of their own falling from their eyes as they watched the casket lowering down into the ground. Nothing was said, only loud bawling came from the vulpine, but the torrential shower masked his endless cries. In the small crowd were several other mammals including a lion and a leopard, they were all predators save for the doe, and were all dear friends to the deceased. In solemn silence they stood, Judy was the only who reacted when Nick made a dash towards the coffin, it would seem that all that were there held back their tears, and all wordlessly fought with the misery.

Amidst the sorrow, grief, and pain,

In the darkness of the pouring rain,

Lies a gleam of hope so fine,

That all the wounds will heal in time...

The fox snapped away from his daydream as the random thought spontaneously appeared, he was far from getting over his father's death, so it was a surprise that he could conjure up such a notion. Sure he wanted to recover from the grieving period he was in, but something deep inside himself wished he doesn't have to see the light of another day. With a shake of the head and a blink of the eye, Nick cleared his mind again to allow the flashbacks to return, hoping that this time he was allowed to remain in deep abyss of despair.

One by one the mammals left, each turning their backs against the past and returning back to heir daily routines. The rain didn't slow their progress of leaving the scene, instead it did otherwise and prompted them to quicken their pace. Nick watched on as the crowd thinned, anger pricking his heart at the thought of those animals leaving. "Your friend just died, for Pete's sake," he muttered under his breath, disgust and a sense of betrayal lingering in his statement, yet there was nothing he could do; it wasn't a formal funeral or anything of that sort (they were struggling financially) so they had the right of leave at will, but still it wouldn't kill to have some respect. "Great friends you got here dad," sarcasm dripped off his words like the droplets that dripped off his muzzle. When the sun finally set and all but one of the guests has left, the duo made their way back home, feet sore, tear ducts dry, and hearts broken.

"Nick..." a warm paw reached for his arm as he jerked slightly, in shock, at the contact made, "You're still up?" she rubbed her eyes with her free paw and hoisted herself up so she could see him eye to eye. The doe turned to the clock, squinted at it for a few moments before bringing her attention back to the restless fox, "You look horrible..." she added, Nick looked about to avoid her concern filled gaze.

"I need some air." Nick leaped off the bed and got to the door.

"I'll follow-"

"NO!" he shouted, startling the bunny. An apologetic look immediately spread across his face as he realised his sudden outburst, "sorry, it's just..." he ran a paw over the bridge of his snout.

"I know, it's not gonna be easy getting through this, but I insist you take me with you," Judy scurried off the bed and walked to the vulpine's side, "you can go ahead and cry, I wouldn't say a word to anyone." She smirked playfully at her companion who, due to the overwhelming emotions welling up within him, merely offered a gentle smile; if he did anything further he would easily reduce into a puddle of tears.

"Thanks," was all he could offer before leaving through the door with Judy's paw in his own.

…

…

It was about four in the morning when they reached their destination, the roads were clear and had no signs of life, it was expected for such a late hour, yet the bunny was still pleasantly surprised they made it here with such speed. "We're here," she said, assuming and hoping with all her heart that he had fallen asleep.

"I know," he deadpanned, it seems that her job is far from complete. The fox tugged on the handle and exited the car. With the bright moonlight as a guide he made his way towards the opening, the same clearing that held much of his childhood memories, the piece of land that had not one, but two oak plants growing from the ground; one was about two metres tall, the other was still a mere seedling. "He said he'd come by this place again very soon," the fox's shadow loomed over the tiny plant, "didn't think he meant this."

"He didn't mean for any of this to happen," Judy stated firmly, her tone unwavering and carried not the slightest bit of doubt, "and you know that."

"Yeah, I do." The fox crossed his feet and sat before the seedling, the one that was planted in remembrance of his father. "Just wish it would've played out differently..." a tear broke out from the corner of his eye, yet there was nothing that could be done to stop it from falling.

"Nick..." the doe crouched down and brought her arms around his neck allowing his head to rest upon her shoulder, "If you need to, just cry." she caressed the fox's back with comforting strokes as streams of tears rolled off his cheeks, all his emotions were set free and his burdens were lifted from hiss shoulder. It was a momentary feeling of relief, yet it rejuvenated his weary mind greatly.

"I'll never see him again..." he cried through sobs, no longer giving a thought about how miserable he looked, being transparent and sincere was all he wanted to do tonight. "How could he leave me? When I just returned he decides to go!?" he stuttered in his speech due to a series of hiccups.

"He has never left you Nick, he's right here..." she placed a paw over his heart and rubbed it gently, "he'll always be here with you." She hoped for the best when she threw out her words, and it seemed to have got through to him as he sniffled and nodded in response.

"I'll try my best to believe that," he said, sceptical at how cliché that sounded, "if that ends up being a lie I'm going to hold you responsible." He looked her dead in the eye as he uttered these words, but the chuckle that followed portrayed the playful nature of his statement. "Though I really wish that were true."

"It is, just give it some time, you'll see."

"Okay," his tone sounded as a child answering a parent; pure, innocent, sincere. The emotionally charged conversation ended as quickly as it began, fatigue quickly overtook the bunny as she began to let out snores again. Unfortunately for the fox he remained an insomniac, but a part of him felt restored and a little less broken, the crying had helped, and so did Judy's reassuring words. Maybe, just maybe, there is hope after all... he looked up to the sky as he remembered the encounter he had just after the funeral ended:

All the guests had left, save for one mammal who remained silent before the tombstone with Nick's father's name engraved on it. The fox made his way to his side in curiosity; he was a grey wolf with grey fur at his flanks and whiter fur at his abdomen, he wore a pair of jeans and had a yellow coloured tee lazily tossed on, all in all it was definitely not an attire for a funeral. "I'm sorry sir, but I think it's time to go," Nick said softly, his words being heard despite of the pouring rain. The wolf turned to face the other canine and let out a sigh. He was a very peculiar character as he showed no remorse, and his outer appearance displayed his lack of respect for the deceased, yet his eyes alone betrayed the emotions within him, feelings of gratitude, joy, and relief.

"He's in a better place now," he calmly stated, "he was in so much pain before..." he trailed off as he turned back to the stone planted on the ground.

"Oh, I see... How did you know my father?" the grey wolf smiled and locked gazes with the fox.

"I am an orphan, you see, and many years ago your father came into my life when I needed a father the most- adolescence." A sheepish grin tugged at his lips, "I was a total disaster, drugs alcohol and all, and he intervened and helped me get pass that. I owe him my life. When I was told he had cancer I was absolutely devastated, and I resolved to help him with all that I am; he was like a father to me," the canine explained, earning several hums from his companion, "but he wouldn't have to suffer anymore," the wolf smiled, "oh and I think you'd need this more than I do." He passed Nick a piece of laminated paper, "might I add, you look very much like your father."

"Thanks," the fox articulated, still very much overwhelmed by everything around him.

"I think I'll stay for awhile more, you should go ahead first." Nick agreed with a nod and left the wolf alone. While moving towards Judy the fox took a glance at the paper:

Amidst the sorrow, grief, and pain,

In the darkness of the pouring rain,

Lies a gleam of hope so fine,

That all the wounds will heal in time...

-Mr Wilde

…

…

"Have you found your answer?"

"Probably."

"Alright then, how does one live with so much guilt and shame bottled inside?"

"My answer to your question," Nick said as he leaned closer to the gate, "with hope that one day all the guilt and shame is undone, in hopes that a day will come where the truth is learnt and all is at peace. And I believe that day has come for me. For us."

"Hmm, I see." The elderly fox tapped his chin and soon moved on with his next question. "So, who really left the family?"

"At the moment, you and mom. But though you left the family, you've never abandoned the home," the younger todd replied, confident and sure with his answer, "you'd always be there for me... right?" from the balcony the vulpine vanished into thin air just to reappear in front of Nick on the opposite side of the gate.

"See this gate," he gestured at the barrier between the two red foxes, "it separates the two domains of life and death. I will not be able to be with you," he said in a sad manner, "but yet, I will always be there for you." Nick analysed the obstacle that stood firmly on the ground, searching for any points of entry that he may use to get through it. Ultimately, he found none.

"How can we be together then? How can I get pass this gate?" his tone was desperate as he sought for answers.

"When your time is come. Fortunately it has not."

"Fortunately?" he quipped in slight annoyance, "don't you want us to be together?"

"And leave the doe in despair?" Nick flinched at his well-timed retort; it hadn't occurred to him that he had spend so much time feeling devastated that he had neglected her and her need for him.

"...so you say that you'd be there for me, how can I be sure that you are?" the todd tossed another question back as he was unable to respond to the previous one.

"You'll know when you feel it, when you see it." The gate soon dissolved along with the entire environment, only a pair of foxes remained in a field of endless light. Nick shook his head as he rubbed the sleep of his eyes, apparently Judy had driven them home as they were now comfortably lying in bed. The doe was still asleep, so Nick quietly slipped off the bed and went to the bathroom. Yet another chapter of my life comes to an end... he thought, it was a chapter that started in pain and ended in grief, yet he doesn't feel as broken as before. Once he entered the bathroom, he set his gaze on the mirror before him, "it is an uncanny resemblance, but now I know..." he muttered, the dim lights made his amber fur darken by several shades and his bright emerald hues appeared more of a dark green, his scruffy coat had several strands of fur sticking out at random areas. He looked at his reflection, a perfect mirror image of his father.

"He lives in me..."