WOW, a lot just happened. Let us all see what happens next! Enjoy, review and comment!

Chapter 25

My head buzzed. My lips felt like they melted into my chin, and my face was most definitely hot, beet red, and dead inside. I was… struck with… something. I really didn't know how to describe it. I knew I wanted her… ehem… sexually, (It is not weird for a teenage male to have intimate feelings for a female (trust me, I would know)), but this was… different. I wanted her in a different way. I think I love her. Maybe. I didn't know. I was eclipsed in modern times so the future never crossed my mind. Thinking of a future without her, was pain. I don't know why or how. I did not like that thought, so I refused to think about that.

We both knew what had happened, and we refused to talk about it, at least for now. It wouldn't be smart with everything else going on. We had bigger things to focus on.

On a personal note: I didn't know how I felt about it. I knew I wanted it then, and I wanted it now, but I don't know if I will get to do it again. Along with the constant threat of dying, we hadn't really been, like that, until now, I guess. It was all so blurry. We would just have to talk about it, talk through it like adults and see what goes on from there.

"How did you find us?" I questioned Javier as we made the long walk to reapproach the road.

"I don't know. We got lucky I guess. We didn't see you at the meeting spot, so we decided to search the woods. No one was willing to give up on you guys. Just happened to stumble upon you, I guess," he said. I nodded.

"So… since all the walkers are gone, you think we can breach D.C. quietly?" Gabe asked.

"Hold on." Krishan spoke. "Where's Heather?" When Clementine and I looked down, Krishan turned and started walking away, muttering "Goddamn It." He slicked back his hair with his hand. He walked back towards us after a few minutes, and, with a tear in each eye, he said "Let's take D.C."

I was a little surprised at Krishan's reaction, to be honest. He kinda just accepted it, which I think is for the best. He showed stone cold emotion. I tried to strike a conversation as the group huddled together for the big meeting, but he shut me out.

The five of us crowded around Javier as he pick up a stick as used the mud for mapping. We were going to get into D.C.

"So… we are around this area," He circled a section of the mud. "Here is the blockade on the bridge. The herd supposedly went this way," he drew a long arrow down the highway. "If we sneak in from the side, move quickly and quietly, we can reach the blockade today. After that, we just need a way to get over it. We should be prepared to stack cars or something like that."

"What happens if the herd decides to come back this way, and we are trapped?" Clementine asked.

"That won't happen as long as we stay quiet. Does everyone know what we are doing?" We all nodded. "Good. Let's eat, then we can move out." So we took a seat in the middle of the woods, and cracked open some cold ones. We were the boys. (I AM NOT SORRY).

After a delightful (I say that with the utmost sarcasm) lunch, we started our assault. We walk through the woods, hoping to emerge at the bridge over the Potomac.

I lagged behind. I needed to tell Krishan the whole truth. I tugged at his shoulder. He shrugged me off. Things could get messy…

I grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back, so he was level with me. "Dude, what th-" he is cut off by my look. He could tell when I needed to tell him something. It was embedded in our past. He fell silent, and walked hazily next to me.

"Krishan… Clementine and I, we didn't tell you anything," I started.

"Yeah, but I could tell," he muttered.

"No, this… we, ugh," I itched my nose.

"Come on. If you have something to tell me, then do it!"

"Listen… we don't know."

"What do you mean 'you don't know'?'

"Like, we really don't. Whenever the three of us were crossing the bridge, a bullet hit her arm, and she tumbled off into the Potomac, heading inland. So, we don't know if she is alive or dead or drowned. We can't tell." Krishan remained silent during my entire explanation. "I just thought you should know everything. And I'm sorry."

He exhaled and shook his head lightly. "Go, catch up with them. I need to… process," he said calmly. Without a word I left him to 'process', and started walking in pace with the other three.

We walked in a conglomerate, with Javier unofficially in the lead, then Clementine, then Gabe, and then myself. Krishan still was far behind.

The hallways of 8th grade spread gossip like little kids wipe glue on their faces and eat crayons. Everyone was talking about something that had gone on. I did not know what it was at the time. Krishan and I were sitting next to each other in English class, working on a project for mythology, when I heard a familiar name.

"Yeah, apparently Heather got to third with Randy," a slimy popular girl commented to her clique.

"Really!" Another one mentioned. "I heard they hit it home," they all chuckled. Krishan and I glanced at each other, and shook our heads.

"Did you see her in science Kourtney?"

"Oh my god, yes I did. She, like, could barely sit down from when I was, like, looking at her. It was, like, so funny. She was, like, struggling to move," All the girls burst into laughter. I heard Krishan take an inward breath, trying to restrain himself. I looked at him.

"Come on man, there just being little bitches. It's not worth the effort," I commented, maybe just loud enough for them to hear me. Maybe. He nodded, and we turned back to our computers, researching Greek gods. I wish I knew someone who was like those gods, like Poseidon. It would make my life a lot easier. If the girls heard me, they didn't say anything back. I just kept hearing comments about Heather, and how she 'almost did him' and a whole bunch of other nonsense.

Now I wanted to talk to Clementine. She didn't look back, and I didn't really look at her. But I think we both sensed the tension. As far as I knew, Gabe and Javier were completely oblivious to it. Krishan was still behind us.

The frosty fall winds blew against the trees. Some leaves were starting their color changes, while the earth was already littered with quite a few of them. It wasn't cold or warm, but cool. I would need to stock up on a new jacket.

Finally, after about two hours or so of silent walking, we reached the cave that Clementine and I stayed the night. I saw her glance at it, hold the gaze for a few seconds, then continued walking next to Javier. I stared at it while walking. When we continued without a word, a) my suspicion of what was going through her head grew, and b) I really wanted a place to rest for a few minutes. But I churned on.

After another half hour, Javier called a rest. We placed ourselves against firm, large stumped trees and sat in silence. My feet felt weightless, like all the blood had evaporated from them.

The only noise was the occasional bird chirp, and the soft wind.

"We should be about another half hour of walking to the highway," Clementine said, breaking the silence. I was surprised she spoke up.

"You sure?" Gabe questioned.

"Yeah," She defended. "The cave we saw back there, it was a landmark I picked up." Javier nodded.

"Good. We can move out in just a minute," he said. No one protested.

A few minutes later, we were back on our feet, walking towards the Springfield Interchange.

We reached the bridge after the shorter long walk. The sun was making it's way towards setting.

"We should cross at first light. First thing in the morning, we cross and try to get to DC. We are so close. We can wait one more night. We shouldn't cross in the night anyways," Javier ordered. Again, no one protested.

"Good. Clem, do you know if the cave is safe? And large enough to fit all of us?" She nodded. "Sweet. Lead the way," he said. So she did.

Everyone had settled into the cave. Clementine took her corner, and I took mine. Gabe laid against the back wall, a foot from Clem, while Krishan laid across from Gabe, against the inner wall, a foot from me. Javier took laying perpendicular to the entranceway. We also set up watches. Krishan, then Clem, then Javier, then Gabe, then myself. So I fell asleep as soon as I could.

Gabe shook me awake. It was my turn for watch. I wiped the gunk from my eyes and pulled myself outside. It was cool, but refreshing. I leaned against a tree outside. The night was quiet, and the moon was slowly starting to sink.

I sat in the quiet for twenty minutes.

Suddenly, a groan came from somewhere. I instinctively grabbed my knife, and was on high alert. I heard a step. I unsheathed the knife, holding it spetsnaz, and kept on guard.

It was Clementine. She stepped out of the cave, looked around, then saw me, looking at her. She walked stepped over a trunk and walked towards me. It was a moment and then she planted herself on the tree, next to me.

We sat in silence for a minute. What the hell? What does she want? Should I say something? I have no idea what to do in this situation.

Finally, she spoke up. "Noah... "

"Yeah?"

"I had something I wanted to say to you. But, I don't know if it is the right thing to say."

"I mean, I don't know what to say, so you're beating me in that department. And, just to be clear, we are talking about the same thing, right? You know…"

"Yeah. I… I guess I want to say that… I was not opposed to the kiss, but I don't know if I wanted it. Does that make any sense." No.

"Yeah. I…" Damnit, should I tell her. What would she think. This could change things forever between us. Oh fuck.

"What?" She said.

"I... well, I may die tomorrow, you may die tomorrow. Anyone could die tomorrow, so I need to tell you this now." She remained silent, but I could tell she had an idea of what I was about to say.

"This world... it sucks. Everything you care about could be taken away in an instant. Everything, just gone. I thought I had experienced that when my mom died. I probably did. I was just… so empty. I thought there wasn't a point to living anymore. And you…" I stared into her unwavering eyes, a tear starting to form in mine. I quickly blinked it away before continuing "You helped me. I snapped at you. I could have killed you with one move. But you… you helped me. I owe my life to you. You saved me. Not like mom, but you did. And ever since then, I have always thought that you were… better than this world. Too good for it... I mean," I chuckled, "You are caring, honest, beautiful, and amazing. And, I really like you. As in, more than just that amazing friend that I have. I really do. That is the reason I kissed you. And, since I could die, I thought you should know that."

The night remained silent after I finished. Clementine was a very good listener. She didn't move. I think she was the one processing everything.

After a few more moments, I think it was about to get awkward. It was just silent, and we were just looking at each other. We were thinking. Her about a response, myself about how much I could have just fucked things up.

"You know," she finally spoke softly. "When you did it, when you kissed me, I didn't believe it. A whirl of things just flew through my head. I wanted to do it again, but I didn't. I don't know what I want. I…"

"Clementine, you can tell me."

"I mean, what could happen,"

"Clem, I'm not going anywhere,"

"You don't know that!" She said with exasperation. "You just said it yourself! You or I could die tomorrow!"

"Clem, that was…"

"Yeah. That was what, huh? You profess this, but the same argument can be applied against you."

"What do you mean?"

"Noah, I have… lost so much." Her voice turned sad. "My parents, Lee, Kenny, A.J…" I couldn't take it. I wouldn't live with myself if I got close to anyone and then something happened to them. I just… I would not be able to do it."

"Wait… so… what?" I was genuinely confused.

"Noah! I can't lose anyone else."

"Then why are you here in the first place? I mean, don't you care about the people here?"

"You know what? You're right. I do. I am here because of faith, and because of the things the other people here and I have experienced. You are here because you saved me first. Krishan is here, well, I don't even fucking know why."

"So then your argument is invalid. You claim you can't lose someone else, but you just contradicted yourself, because you are here with people you care about."

"Oh my god, you don't get it."

"No. I don't." I got closer to her. "Help me understand." She paused. "Please."

"Noah, I can't lose you." Her words hit me like a shockwave. I get it now. Ohhh shit.

"So… I'm not alone in this… feeling?" She shook her head.

"But… it can't go on. I wouldn't be able to take it if this continued, then you died or got lost or something worse. I have already gone too far with you. So… we are done." She turned to walk off.

My mind was buzzing. I needed to process things now. "Wait!" I called out quietly. "What does this mean? Like, what can we do or be around each other?"

She thought for a minute, her back still facing me. "Friends. That's what we are. Good luck on watch." She walked into the cave.