To: Everybody!
From: Opera777
PS: your gonna love this!
PPs:As always thanks to Eriksrose. And belleange48! You guys keep me going. Hope you all have a Happy Christmas write you next year!
"Ah so your the famous Christine?" Sabine said with a tinge of jealousy but quickley covered it up.
"Erik has mentioned me." Christine said in mild surprise.
"No, I have heard mostly from your colleagues they're quite thrilled it seems to have you on staff."
"Oui, I love the children and never having any of my own I like to give whatever free time I can to them." She replied relaxing a little she didn't want to have to explain herself to Eriks wife of all have you told her Erik? Christine wondered
"Well that's a noble cause. I hear your quite thrilled about the prospect of teaching our Helene."
"Mais oui! It so nice to work with such a beautiful talent. I was beginning to think there was no talent left in France." Christine smiled into her wine as Erik nearly choked on his. It was somthing he used to say all the time.
"Er, if you ladies will excuse me I think I require some air." Erik said carefully.
"Are you all right Erik?" Christine asked.
"I'm fine cherie." He replied without thinking. 'Oh god! I'm dead if Sabine is kind she will wait until I am home before she assaults me.
"If you ladies will excuse me." He said quickly and exited the room before hopefully anyone thought otherwise. He stopped and grabbed his cloak from the rack and then without a moments hesitation took to the shadows and disappeared.
When he got to the rooftop he took a deep breath and walked to the edge and let the memories flood back and the tears came. He peeled his mask off and let them flow freely down his face. I only wanted her to be happy he thought. not for her to be defamed like this. Your lucky your not standing here De Chagny otherwise you would be dead! How dare you treat Christine like that when you yourself, on your families honour swore to protect her!
Christine continued talking to Sabine for a few moments more. Attempting to keep the subject on Helene and what she would like to teach her. She tried very hard to ignore the hostile tone creeping into Sabines conversation. She didn't know what Sabine knew, from what she had gathered Erik had said nothing other than what was absolutly necessary.
But she had a feeling Sabine had found out enough to think of her as a threat. At the first chance Christine excused herself and slipped from the parlor. Knowing exactly where she could find Erik. She made her way to the roof pausing at her dressing room to grab her cloak. She opened the door to the roof and the sight she saw took her breath away. Erik stood facing out towards the city as the half moon washed him in a ethereal glow; his cloak billowed in the slight breeze. She walked up behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Are you all right?" She said softly.
"Ah, oui. It was just too much too many people." He answered wiping at the tears that slipped down his chin. Christine looked up at him her eyes sparkled, but he could see the care and the worry in them.
"That's the answer you give Madame Giry and Meg." Christine said quietly. "This is me your talking to. You don't have to hide."
"I know." He said sighing. "I don't even know where to begin. I have so much to say to you."
"I understand." Christine said, looking at him knowingly." I've missed you too."
Erik started to speak and then cut off what he was going to say by considering a safer route,"Christine, - I" he sighed, "I'm sorry."
"Past is past, Erik, and we cannot change the past." she said indifferently with a shrug of her shoulders
"We do need to talk of the past mon ange." He said.
"I am not an angel anymore Erik."
"I beg to differ Christine."
"No, I'm not. Maybe I was at one point just like you were. But now, I am just a fanciful child. who was forced to see the truth when it was too late to turn back. I had to grow up. But a lot of good that did me."
"What do you mean?"
She shook her head,"I mean look at the farce of a marriage I have, I was so blind. I was the flavor of the month when I became boring he moved on to another. Not that I ever really tried that hard to be a wife, my thoughts were always elsewhere."
Erik said nothing and she continued.
"And then there were the conditions he put on me. . .What I could wear how I was to do my hair, even where I could sing. If it wasn't for the managers speaking of the scandal should I not return to the opera. Of course it was a lure to get me back to save their failing finances. I don't think he would ever have let me return. For him it was all about stature and how he had it and I didn't. I was such an ignorant fool."
Erik didn't say anything he just stood and listened not really wanting to believe any of this Raoul de chagny was perfect how could he have been so wrong.
"I had the greatest thing in the world and I let someone interfere because I thought they knew better. And now I have nothing. I am worth nothing. You are well to be rid of me that's for sure." She said her voice caught between a sob and anger.
"That's not true." Erik spat vehemently.
"Yes, it is." She said holding her hand up to stop him, "Look at you, without me you got married, you have an amazingly beautiful and talented daughter. Everything I touch turns to ash. You are very well to be rid of me."
She plopped down on the base of one of the statues with her head in her hands.
"No, Christine." He said walking over to where she sat and stood before her moving her hands from her face."Only I can say that and I wont. That was a trying time for both of us; you taught me as well as I taught you."
"Yeah, I taught you all right. What it is to have a broken heart." She spat, tears begining to course thier way down her face. " I have been over and over that night a million times in my head and every time I come to the same conclusion. It was my fault all of it. After you and I rebuilt everything so strong and I ripped it out from the foundation. I was so young and I just did. . ."
"Christine enough!" He said using the same tone he used with Helene when she was being irrational. She looked up at him and he handed her his handkerchief and stood up. "You think your the only one that has re-lived that night?"
He said looking at her his anger brimming. He couldn't stand her self pitty as if she was the only one in this. " We did allot of things that night neither of us are proud of. I am the one you should be blaming! ME! Not you!" he yelled.
"But I caused it! I just wish I could do it all differently." She said staring off in the distance.
"So do I!" Erik said sighing, "I thought I was going to die that night I don't know what hurt more the sound of you leaving or him saying what he said."
"Did you hear what I said? Did you hear anything I said that night" Christine asked sobering taking his hand in hers.
"I don't remember."
"Yes, you do. I don't think for one second you have forgotten anything. Ten years or no ten years." She scowled.
"Then enlighten me child. What did you say?" He said his voice once again slipping into it's old ways.
"I said, how do I show you that you are not alone? Show you that you are loved? "
"Oh come now Christine you only said that to gain his freedom." Erik said abruptly turning. "I must admit that kiss was a wonderful touch give the starving man exactly what he wants and then he will let you go. Off to your happy little normal world."
"That's not fair. How dare you ?" Christine yelled jumping up, " How dare you even insinuate such a thing? I loved you so much. That kiss was a result of me realizing everything at once. I love you Erik! I always have! Do you hear me ? I was so naive and so unsure. I would have acted on it had I known how! But I DID NOT KNOW HOW!"
"You what?"
"I love you. I have never stopped." she said tears now threatening once again and walking towards him. "I just didn't understand what was growing between the two of us. and all those times you pushed me away I thought it was because you didn't return my feelings."
"Didn't you? I worshiped you. " He said grasping her by the chin and forcing her to look in his eyes. "I refused to touch you because I thought I would mar the angel. I tried so many times to show you with music and make you feel inside the music. But look at me Christine I have the face of the devil himself. I didn't deserve you and the thought of touching you as a man. . ."
Christine stood in front of him and put a hand on The dammaged side of his face,"If only you had."
Christine stood up on her toes and kissed him on the lips he returned her kiss. She responded to him in every way he ever dreamed she would. Their hearts sang in time with each other. Christine slipped her hands into his cloak and pulled him closer and he responded crushing her to him. It felt like all the hurts of the past were erasing themselves. And Christine and Erik wanted to wallow in it. They were so close to the point of no return. All they had to do was jump. It was Erik that came to his senses first.
"Christine we cant" He said breathlessly trying to compose himself." I'm Married."
She stepped back and her hands flew to her mouth, " Oh god Erik. I'm sorry."
"We're both to blame. I think we should return to the party before anyone realizes that I am not the only one that was absent. I dare say those who know us will put two and two together.
"That was ten years ago Erik. Some people still say it didn't happen."
"That wasn't what I meant." He said putting his mask back into place, "They don' t believe it happened?"
"Yes, absurd isn't it? What was such a large part of us, all of us, and it is like it never happened." She said reaching up to straighten his collar and brush away a non existent piece of lint. "But your right we should return. Your wife will worry." Christine said stepping back and rearranging her cloak.
"Of course." Erik said taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly and he positioned his hat on his head.
He looked over and caressed her with his eyes even though he couldn't with his hands. He praised the gods for the way the moonlight reflected off her golden curls.
She looked over at him and smiled, " I like the hat. I can't help think that it looks familiar. I know you didn't have it before."
"No. I. . .Uh didn't . I got it from Meg as well." He said taking it off and playing with it in his hands. Christine walked up and placed her hands on his to quiet them and took the hat from them and looked at it.
"It's my fathers." She said her eyes glistening with tears. "It was his good travelling hat."
"Do you mind that I have it?"Erik asked meeting her eyes with his own.
"No, I don't. In fact I like that you have it. It should belong to another violin man." She said with a smile and then stretched up on her toes to put it back on his head. "It suits you. Almost debonair even more so than that large fedora."
"I guess the fedora was a little over the top." He admitted arranging the hat.
"Not for the times. It made you more of a mystery. and I liked it." Christine said looking up at him. "What happened to us? Erik? We were going to be so happy?"
"I don't know, ma cherie. We. . . If I could change it.. . I don't know."
She shook her head, "Neither do I." she said and stretched up and kissed him gently on the corner of his mouth, "But I do know you still have my heart."
"We should go back." Erik said not replying to her silent question. She nodded and turned towards the door.
He composed himself and followed Christine back inside. If you only knew how much of my heart is still yours mon ange! And it shall forever remain so! They said nothing on the way down until they were just about back at the party. Christine put her hand on his arm.
"I'm just going to continue on my way home. I think it would be best." she said.
Erik nodded, "Bon soir Christine."
"Bon soir." she replied and turned to walk down the stairs to the main foyer.
'Christine?" Erik said calling out to her before he realized what he was doing.
She turned and smiled at him from halfway down the stairs. "I will see you monday monsieur I would like to discus with you what I intend to teach your daughter."
Erik smiled and nodded. "till monday then."
"Monday." she said smiling and continued down the stairs. He slipped into the shadows and watched her go. 'I was just making sure she was safe.' he told himself. And then laughed 'you old fool old habits are hard to break aren't they?' Erik said as he returned his cloak back to the cloak room and went back to the party.
"There you are. We were wondering where you had got to." Meg said coming up and taking his arm, " Mamma and I have been talking to Sabine and entertaining her in your absense. I asume you had an illumanting walk?"