Chapter 25

Sorry for the extended delay again. I've been writing something else, not fanfiction but a work of fiction. Who knows if it will ever see the light of day but it's been great fun. I couldn't sleep last night (well all week actually) and I watched Lewis and this is what happened. Hope you enjoy. I'm think 5-7 more chapters.

He was sleeping. Even asleep he was restless, just as he had been at home and at work. It had become increasingly obvious to her he wasn't going to take the risk. He was stuck in the netherworld of living with her and being friends with Laura. She'd tried going away for longer period of times, being less available, to see if it would spur him into action. But during those times, he only spent more time with James. Laura only involved as a secondary thought.

Even their Sunday lunches had dwindled. Those weren't all down to Robbie, Laura had cancelled one or two. She suspected the younger woman was seeing someone. If she wanted to, she could confirm that fact but it seemed rude. In all honesty, she couldn't blame Laura. She was a beautiful, smart woman, any man would be fortunate to spend time with her.

But despite all of it, Robbie still resisted. Each time she thought he was finally moving forward, he would slide back. And each time he slid back, he slept less and less.

The ringing phone made her curse. This early, it could only be James, which meant a case. As he reached for the phone, she caught him looking around, looking for her. Briefly, she thought of appearing. Her anger at him for failing to move on kept her invisible.

It had been a long day filled with a frustrating case. He'd hoped to come home and find Val waiting. But as seemed to be the case more and more of late, she wasn't here. He made a cup of tea, briefly thought of fixing something to eat then let the thought go. Carrying the mug with him to the bedroom, he collapsed on the bed.

He wasn't really sure how he'd reached this point. For a brief moment, he'd felt as if he and Laura were on the precipice of something. And then he'd let it slip through his fingers, an ephemeral instant gone with the blink of an eye.

Occasionally, he caught a glimpse of what might have been. Even today, at the crime scene, there had been a lilt in her voice when she left. It was in those moments, he wanted to chase after her and finally ask her out, ask her to take a chance with him, on him. But then the idea of never seeing Val again would take purchase in his brain and he would let the moment pass.

Looking over at his nightstand, the photo of the two of them made him smile sadly, a bleak feeling. It had been days since he'd seen her which seemed to be the status quo of late. Where she used to be waiting for him when he came home, more often than not lately, she wasn't. Just when he'd begun to think she was gone for good she would turn up. He wasn't sure if this was worse or better: the fear or the hope.

His eyes slid to the left, to the more recent photo. Him holding Jack. Before he could change his mind, he dialed Lyn's number praying she would answer.

Relief flooded him when she finally did, "Hi, love, it's your dad."

"I know it's you, dad. If your name on my phone wasn't enough of a clue, your voice would be."

He chuckled to himself at her goodnatured teasing, "Yeah, I know. I just like to hear myself say it sometimes."

"Are you OK, dad?"

"I'm good. Just a rough case, young girl killed, not too much younger than you. Needed to scrub my mind of the details. Tell me something good about my grandson."

"Well, I'm not sure I have much good to tell you, dad. Your grandson has spit up on me three times today and, at the moment, I am wiping strained carrots from my hair."

He laughed, fondly remembering those days, "Payback for all of the times you did it to your mum and me. I can't tell you how many times I had to change shirts from you spitting up on me."

"So, what you are telling me is I simply have to wait until I am a grandparent and then this all becomes amusing."

"Well, that and always have a cloth handy to prevent such accidents."

They continued their conversation, talking about nothing at all. However, when Robbie ended the call, he felt much better.

Mindlessly, he scrolled through his contacts then pushed the button to place another call. He held his breath as he waited for the call to connect.

"Robbie?"

"Hey, Laura. I saw your note about the PM. Do you think I could talk you into breakfast tomorrow in exchange for the results?"

"Sorry, Robbie, I can't. I'm testifying in the morning." She paused, when he didn't respond she added. "I could spare some time for a quick cup of coffee then you could walk me over."

"Yeah, that could work, what time?"

"Eight?"

"Sounds good, my treat."

"I should hope so, since you asked me."

He smiled to himself, "See you then, Laura."

He ended the call, tapped the phone against his lips as he smiled.

"Well it's about time."

Closing his eyes, he sighed. As much as might have wanted her here earlier, now he didn't. "About time for what?"

"That you asked her out."

Dropping the phone on the bed, he started stripping off the day's clothes. "It wasn't like that. I need the results, breakfast is usually a good time to catch her."

"You could have read the results yourself. Or had James read them and translate for you. You called her because you want to see her."

Anger flared in him, "Why, Val? Why does it have to be her? Why can't it be one of a dozen other women? I meet interesting, attractive women all the time. Why can't I ask one of them out? Why are you pushing me into her arms? Are you ready to be rid of me? You're dead, Val. You got rid of me. Why do I have to be rid of you?"

He stormed away. The slamming of the bathroom door an exclamatory punctuation on his outburst. She stared after him, tears filling her eyes. Did he really believe that? Did he really believe that even in death she could ever be rid of him?

His day had started and ended oddly. Laura, as always, had been warm, funny, and gorgeous. She'd teased him in a way that was both challenging and somehow comforting. It sparked something in him yet also brought him peace.

Then at the end of his day, his conversation with Marion Hammond. There had also been a spark. An almost palpable connection that had ripped through him like wildfire. It was the first time, in a long time, he'd felt such raw attraction to someone.

He supposed he should be excited he could still feel that particular sensation. Marion had teased him, challenged him, pushed him in ways no one had in a long time. However, there was nothing comforting about it. It had all felt contrived as if she did it for the reaction but took no real enjoyment from it.

"You should be careful of that one."

He looked up at her, his anger from the night before returning although not as forcefully. "Which one?"

"The artist. She's too clever for you."

"Because I'm stupid."

She shook her head, "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Then what? Do tell since you seem to have all of the answers."

"Do you really think I think you are stupid?"

Rubbing his eye, "What am I supposed to think, Val?"

"You push me at Laura, then tell me I'm not bright enough for Marion Hammond. What else am I supposed to think?"

"That would imply I think Laura is simple. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. I meant, Marion, she's…"

"She's what, Val? Beautiful, exciting, sexy…"

"She's playing with you, Robbie. She's not a woman who wants to be there in the morning. And you are a man who wants, even needs, someone to be there in the morning. But, hey, if she is what you think you need, by all means, go ahead. But don't expect me to be here to pick up the pieces. Maybe you're right, maybe it's best if I'm just rid of you. I mean that's why I died, right. To be rid of you?"

His eyes slid closed, stunned at both her words and her anger. When he opened them again, she was gone. Once again, he was alone. Alone with his thoughts, his anger, his grief.

Fatigue pulled at him as he opened the door. The coffee with James had been a mistake and would likely keep him awake despite his exhausted state. He tugged on his tie, planning to be almost naked by the time he made it to his bed.

All he wanted to do was brush his teeth and fall into bed. As he rounded the corner to his bedroom, he saw her, seated tensely in the chair in the corner. For a moment, he thought about ignoring her, simply going about his plan and falling into bed. But he knew if he did, he'd never sleep.

"I don't want to be rid of you, Val."

She nodded, "I know. But, you need to move on. I won't be here forever."

"You said you would be here as long as I need you. I still need you."

"That's not strictly true."

"That I don't need you? That I won't always need you?"

Looking away, "That I will stay as long as you need me. I've only got a little while longer."

"I don't understand."

She stood but didn't move toward him, "And I can't explain. But I won't be here forever. Which is why I've pushed so hard. And you're right. You should choose who you want."

He toed off his shoes then kicked them to the side. "Well, if it makes you feel better, you were right about Marion Hammond."

She smiled to herself, "Only a little bit." Watching him as he continued to undress, she broadened her smile, "If it helps, I might have been a bit jealous of her."

He turned to her, startled at her admission, "Jealous?"

"On my best day, I don't know if I was ever that sexy."

"On your worst day you were ten times sexier than her."

"That's sweet, if not strictly true."

He took a step toward her, "Yes, it is true. And do you know why?"

She shook her head, "No, why?"

"Because I always knew you would be there in the morning."

Tears filled her eyes, she wiped them away, lost for what to say next. Robbie's ringing phone saved her from having to come up with something.

"Laura?"

"Hey, I was hoping I could trade your offer of breakfast for a late lunch today."

He smiled, "Normally, Laura, I would jump at the chance. But, I am exhausted. Do you think we could do it tomorrow?"

"Yes, I think I'll still be here tomorrow."