EPOV
Her lips are soft and warm and taste like tears as they move tentatively over mine. I am shocked but ecstatic over her one hundred and eighty degree turnaround but I am fearful as well. I give myself up to the kiss, moving my mouth under hers but letting her take the lead for the moment. The last thing I want to do is scare her off with the intensity of what I'm feeling. Hell, it even scares me.
What if it doesn't last? What if she changes her mind?
What if?
What if?
What if?
I grasp her waist just above her hip to pull her closer while my other hand slowly reaches up and cups the back of her neck, my fingers molding against her scalp.
With a small twist, I have her on my lap, lips never parting. She sighs into my mouth, her body melting like ice cream in July against me and I am home.
This right here…this is what heaven must feel like.
Mentally, I thank every deity that has ever existed for bringing me to this point…to her.
I lean back on the sofa carefully bringing her with me. My heart is thumping so loudly in my chest, I wonder if she can feel it pounding against my sternum.
She pulls away first, panting slightly through semi parted lips, resting her head in the crook of my neck; her hair tickling my skin.
"Are you sure about this?" I ask, tucking a strand of hair behind her hair so she cannot hide from me. I am suddenly terrified that this is all going to go away, that she will just disappear into a wisp of vapor and I would be clutching nothing more than a memory.
Her face as she looks up at me marks her confusion.
"About us, I mean?" I clarify, my throat tight.
Her eyes veil in understanding.
"No." She admits with a heavy sigh and a wistful smile. "But I am sure I can't not be with you." Her teeth worry over her bottom lip and she traces the skin revealed at the base of my throat. I shiver at the innocent but sensual contact.
"What made you change your mind?" I ask her. I have to know. She had been so adamantly against this before.
"You." She states simply on the edge of a deep breath. "Are you sure?" Her tone is filled with doubt and her eyes dart nervously up to mine.
"Yes." There is no hesitation and I tilt her head up so I can kiss her again, coaxing her mouth open so I can delve inside and savor. Her movements are as unpracticed as mine. There is no guile in her kisses; only an adorable uncertainty in the way her lips with move with caution beneath mine.
In truth, I understand her fears and admire her honesty even if it makes me whole body clench in denial at her words.
As much as I love kissing her, I know we have to stop soon else I wouldn't be able to stop at all. I was already painfully hard and I pray she remains unaware.
Reluctantly I pull back once more and wind my arms around her holding her as close to me as possible, resting my head on hers.
"Mmmm" She hums as I stroke her hair. "I'm so tired." She admits, her eyes half closed.
"Then sleep Bella." I press a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere."
Wild horses couldn't drag me away.
The rhythm of Bella's breathing becomes soft and even. I could feel the wispy warmth of each breath as they escape through her parted lips…the lips I had just claimed. Her features are completely relaxed and I realize this is the first time I had seen them thus.
Watching her sleep, an inner peace settles over me and I think about how my life completely changed since she ran out of my house last night. Through the darkened hours until the morning, I had plotted and planned what I would say, what I would do but it all fell away the moment I laid eyes on Bella in her doorway, looking just as tired and miserable as I felt.
I absently stroke her arm, cocooning her closer into me. She lets out a soft mewling sound and nestles her head under my chin, her body curling and burrowing into mine.
Mine.
She is mine now.
I must've fallen asleep too for the next thing I hear is Bella whimpering in her sleep. Her fingers are curled into tightly fisted balls under her chin and the creases in her brow suggest it isn't a pleasant dream.
"No. Please don't"
Her voice sounds so small...so terrified.
Gently, I shake her shoulder and kiss her temple. I can feel her rapid pulse beneath my lips.
"Bella." I whisper in her ear. "It's time to wake up, sweetheart."
The uttered endearment is spoken so automatically, it feels like it has passed over my tongue many times. It just feels so right.
She startles awake, her eyes spring open wide and she has the look of dazed confusion on her face like she is not quite aware of where she really is.
"Edward?"
I smile down at her. "It's me. We're in your living room." I tell her as a reminder.
Blinking, she looks around and her body slowly relaxes.
"I didn't scream, did I?"
She sounds nervous and even a little bit embarrassed.
"No" I shake my head. "But it did sound like you were having a bad dream. Do you want to talk about it."
"I can't" She pushes her hair of her face and sits up, moving off my lap. I feel the lack of the warmth of her body instantly but decide not to push it.
"Sometimes it helps." I prod, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze of support.
"I just don't remember." She sweeps her hair back and off her face in frustration. "I only see fragments of images...kind of like I'm looking at something through a broken mirror." She shrugs it off casually but I know it's costing her more anxiety than she is ready to admit to.
"Maybe you're not ready to remember yet." I suggest carefully.
She smiles wistfully. "You sound like your mom."
"She's a smart lady, so thank you."
Watching Bella, here like this, makes me realize how apt Emmett's nickname for her really is.
At first I assumed it was because she was small of stature and her last name was Swan. Now I knew different.
Little Bird, strong yet fragile...wary with fluttering wings ready to fly off at a moment's notice.
Perhaps Emmett is the most perceptive of us all.
At the sound of a key in the door, Bella jumps, uses the remote control to turn on the television and scurries further away, placing her hands in her lap, twisting them together.
"Charlie." She mouths.
I gulp.
Charlie.
Her Dad.
The Police Chief.
Who owns a gun.
Chief Swan is wearing a flannel shirt with a khaki fishing vest carrying a pizza box when he comes full view into the room. He freezes when he sees the both of us sitting on the couch. His brows furrow as he looks at first from me to Bella and back to me again.
"Hey Dad." Bella says trying not to squirm under her father's scrutiny. "We were...uh...just studying."
Oh, she is such a horrible liar.
He father isn't buying it. I can tell. The fact that the coffee table has no school books spread out on it and the TV has some fishing show on does not help her cause.
"Uh, huh." He gives us a suspicious look as he places the pizza box on the old wooden table…probably making sure our clothes weren't out of place and I try not to squirm under his unabashed scrutiny.
Bella opens her mouth but before she can dig herself deeper into the hole I stand up and hold out my hand for him to shake.
He hesitantly takes it and gives it a firm shake, testing my mettle, his eyes never leaving mine.
"Good afternoon sir. I'm Edward Cullen."
His face shows recognition of the name and he smiles…I think.
Either that or he's baring his teeth.
"Nice to meet you there, Edward. How are your folks?"
"Just fine sir…busy as usual."
Could I sound any more like a dork from a fifties sit-com? No, I don't think so.
Just call me Beaver Cleaver.
"I admire the work they do." He said sincerely.
"Thank you, sir. I'll be sure to pass that along."
"What's with the pizza, Dad? I thought you went fishing." Bella interrupts staving off what is a potentially awkward moment of uncomfortable silence.
"Uh…yeah." He grimaces as his face turns slightly pink.. "Someone is fixing up the old Beardsley hunting cabin by my fishing spot…making all sorts of unholy noise and chased the damn fish away."
Bella looks amused as she gets up and pats her Dad on the back.
"Better luck next time."
"You uh…wanna…join us Edward?" Charlie asks and I'm pretty sure he's only offering because I am here and it would be rude not to include me.
I don't care. I'll take it. I am greedy for any time I get to spend with Bella.
Even if her Father is watching like a hawk.
"I'd love to." I respond knowing he would've preferred I turn down his offer. "I just have to call home first."
Excusing myself outside for a moment, I call the house wondering if my parents are back yet and how much trouble I am going to get into for essentially trashing the music room.
"You are in so much trouble, bro." It's Emmett who answers and I can hear the shit eating grin in his voice.
I gulp. "How bad?"
"Emmett, don't fucking tease him!" I hear Rosalie shout in the background. "Ask him about Bella."
"You ass." I seethe into the phone when I realize Em is just yanking my chain.
"Sorry, dude, couldn't help myself." He snickers. " Mom and Dad aren't back yet. They called and said they were doing some shopping or some shit. Jazz painted over the giant scratch you left on the piano bench by the way but I don't think the leg will ever be the same."
"Give me the phone, you oaf."
I hear Rosalie wrench the phone from Emmett.
Sometimes I am amazed out how much they love each other. Was their name calling some type of weird ass foreplay?
"Edward, how's Bella? Is she alright? Is she mad at us? Do you work things out with her?"
Rosalie is making my head spin with her firing of questions.
"Are you taking lessons from Alice?" I ask teasingly because things did work out.
"Hilarious, Cullen. Just answer the damn questions."
Now there's the Rose we all know and love.
"We're fine and I don't think she's mad." At least she hadn't said so. "I'll see if I can persuade her over after dinner and you can see for yourself."
"Dinner?"
"Yes." I don't explain any further. "See you later and tell Jazz thanks for the quick fix."
Dinner isn't as uncomfortable as I anticipated and in fact Charlie reminds me of Emmett in some ways…just way, way toned down and not as dirty mouthed. He's funny in a dry sort of way and it's very obvious how much he cares for Bella.
It is then I realize that Bella doesn't give Charlie enough credit. She thinks she is destroying him but Charlie is a strong man.
"So Bella tells me you're teaching her how to play piano." Charlie says out of the blue and I nearly choke on the gob of mozzarella cheese in my mouth.
Forks Pizza has nothing on Chicago deep dish.
"Did I say something funny?" He asks.
"Umm, no...and yes, I offered to teach Bella to play." I tell him after I take a long gulp of soda.
I didn't even want to think about last night's emotional fiasco of how Bella left in tears and I went on a rampage. She never did get to play.
"And let's just say I have a long way to go." Bella finishes for me, her eyes twinkling like chocolate colored diamonds.
Oh how I have missed that sparkle.
Charlie gives an amused grunt and grabs for another slice of pizza.
The passing lights of the street lamps illuminate the bands of cinnamon highlights in her mahogany hair as she sits beside me. I am driving slower than usual wanting to savor every moment of alone time I can get.
Bella has been silently contemplating. What, I have no clue. And frankly it's making me nervous. Every so often I see her teeth catch on her bottom lip and it damn near drives me insane.
I've had vivid fantasies about those lips…that mouth...of what I wanted it to do.
"What are you thinking about?" I ask casting a quick glance in her direction before returning my attention back to the slick rain covered road.
She sighs breathily and I brace myself for her answer.
"So much has changed." She admits. "It doesn't even feel real."
I can't disagree.
The same thoughts of been revolving in my head as well.
"It is real." I have to say it out loud to assure both her and myself.
"I'm scared." She adds and my heart seizes.
Reaching over, I entwine my fingers with hers.
"It's all going to be okay. I promise."
From my periphery, I see her look over at me, her eyes deep pools of sadness.
"It's not me I'm scared for…it's you."
"Don't be."
I lift her hand and bring it to my lips, placing a kiss along her knuckles. I'm scared for me too but not in the way that she thinks.
The house is lit up bright and all the cars are in the garage, I notice as we pull up. The chatter I hear as we enter turns hushed as soon as we walk into the house and I take a protective stance in front of Bella as I grasp her hand and lead her up the stairs.
She gives me an amused look.
"Are you trying to protect me from your family?"
I laugh thinking of how fiercely protective my family is of her already.
"Maybe you should be standing in front of me."
"Edward , is that you?" My mom calls out as if she didn't know we here.
Slick, Ma, real slick.
"Yeah, Ma." I respond. "Bella's with me." I add for the benefit of the rest of them, who I am sure are waiting impatiently scattered around the house.