Thanks to Kit-cat99, Chibiboku, Annie and tealrose! Hope you guys like this installment and I'm looking forward to writing some fresh chapters tonight!
River frowns as she stands, hair dripping wet and body leaned on the small sink as she gazes into a mirror.
"Mei mei, stop thinkin' on that."
Behind her Kaylee is settling a large bowl of fresh water and wash rags alongside it in the still drying shower stall. River turns from the image in the mirror with effort and Kaylee stands, helping her over.
"You're gonna feel fresh as a daisy once ya get done here."
"Feel better already. Thank you Kaylee."
The red head grins, having volunteered to help River when Simon insisted she needed it. River had rallied to beg for a shower and Simon had only allowed her to go for a sponge bath, the only part of her being semi-showered would be her hair.
Now, two rounds of shampoo and one round of River's favorite conditioner later she felt like the unpleasantness was leaving.
"Here," Kaylee holds out a small clip and River allows her to twist her hair up off the brown shirt. "There ya go. Come on, let's get ya over there to do some cleanin' up."
River shakes her head and Kaylee frowns in confusion, knowing the younger girl wants to spruce up.
"She can manage. Go spruce up, she understands you wish to. Simon is waiting."
Kaylee grins, falters. "Can ya really handle it? I won't leave if'n ya cain't."
River waves her hand, "A bowl of water will not drown a fish."
Kaylee kisses River's forehead and rushes off. River listens to the sound of her feet disappear and begins stripping off her clothes, carefully puts them in the sink with a towel and slides her tender body down the metal wall.
She slowly works the wet rag over her skin, carefully tucked under the nozzle of the sprayer and spilling out the water to refill it from her spot on the ground with leisurely movements.
When she finally tries to stand, the night cycle is back once more. She merely grits her teeth and forces her body to move, wrapping her towel along newly cleansed flesh and grabbing up the clothes she had soiled.
She walks toward the bunks, ready to muddle through entering her room and try to don new clothes.
"Hey," the surprised call makes her falter and her body protests the jostling as it cries out in exertion. Zoe moves to grab River's swaying body, places her against the wall. "I'll go down an' grab clothes. Can ya head to the helm to dress? No one's there now."
River grits her teeth, "She can manage."
Zo shakes her head, gently takes the dirty clothes and motions River to the helm. "Glad I needed somethin' to drink." River grins slightly and glances at Zoe's stomach, knows it is fluttering with more than life.
Zoe grabs skivvies and a bra for River, debates over a tank top and finally comes from the reader's bunk with a tank top and unders and a loose sleeveless dress that buttoned up the front.
River smiles her thanks and Zoe pauses before leaving. "Can I do anything else?" River shakes her head. "Well, do ya least want me to stay and help ya get to someplace to sleep?"
"Not ready to sleep, was sleeping too long."
Zoe nods, smiles. "Night little bit. See ya in the morning."
"Goodnight Zo. Sleep well."
River discards her towel and dresses with slight pain. She leaves the majority of the buttons loose, knowing she is covered from knee to belly button and thankful for the tank top. Her wrist throbs but she wants the cast off.
River stands with the towel, takes it to drop it down the hatch to her bunk and shuts it. She turns and sees Mal coming from his bunk, freshly shaven. From the wet locks of hair she can tell he had showered after she had left the stalls and she smiles as he looks back to normal. She feels a pang of wanting to be back to normal as well, no longer bearing the marks that branded her for all to see.
"Oh, hey darlin'," Mal smiles and River's smile is back to the brightness it was before, the marks matter not when he looks at her like all he sees is all he needs and wants. "I was hopin' ya'd still be about."
"Still about Captain." He chuckles and walks to meet her, sees the tremble of her muscles and the draw of pain at the edges of her lips. He slips a casual arm around her waist, ready to pretend he's not helping so much as taking a casual stroll with her.
River wants to protest when most the weight she is supporting from her own body seems to disappear but the feel of Mal holding her and the relief in her body is too much and her eyes close in delight though she knows they wish to stay open.
"Ready to get down to sleep 'tross?"
River shakes her head, "Too much sleep. You should sleep, much more deprivation and your mind will run away."
Mal rolls his eyes and eases her body along beside him, aiming toward the galley. When River falters her easy steps he looks at her, sees her eyes on something. He tracks it to the shiny mirror hanging over the couch, bordered by small vines and flowers that Kaylee had carefully painted. Her eyes move to take in her whole appearance and she frowns.
"Riv," he murmurs.
"You made me forget, forget about the marks. I let them get in too many hits."
Mal scowls as he turns her from looking at her reflection. He skims his hand to touch over her bruised face and he runs a finger over the healing split in her lip, lets himself point out all the marks on her.
She stands still under his scrutiny, lets him show her that he sees and it still doesn't matter.
"You're a great woman bao bei," his voice is slightly gruff, "but great or no, ain't no way ya can always take the fights the way you want."
River smirks, "That's why I'll choose my battle a bit more carefully next time."
He nods absently, mind whirring as he considers if maybe the next fight will have him at her side or have her at his. "Doesn't matter." Her voice interrupts as she hears him surprisingly clearly, knows his every barrier is down for her. "We'll be there either way."
The two move toward the couch and Mal holds her close.
"You lied."
River blinks at his sudden whisper into the dark of the galley. She tilts her head to gaze at him in question.
"That wasn't the only way, you bein' the target. You coulda let him have me, torture me. Ain't likely he'd of insisted on more."
She knows he's been thinking too much on the disaster mission since the revelation that Packer was Padre, knew he was angry with himself as he thinks all her injuries can be traced to him.
"No," she whispers, "Not your fault. If I had given you to him, it would be my fault. I wouldn't be able to live with knowing he would have hurt and killed you because of my negotiations. Reasons of preservation kicked in, fueled me. I preserved my family the way I needed. None of this was your fault."
Mal turns guilty, pained eyes on her, "You preserved? What about self preservation? You coulda just as easily kept the family safe an' yourself. You-"
River closes her eyes, swallows and shakes her head as she works her jaw. "No."
Silence stretches.
"Gorramit woman you don't get it!"
River sighs and opens her eyes, fixing him in her gentle stare. "I get it. Guilt. Making you desperate for a redo. There are no redo buttons. We live with our choices. My choice to protect. Your choice to shelter. We played our parts this time and all is well now."
Mal hears the determination in her voice that says she is adamant in her points. He draws her closer, places a kiss to her temple. "Do me the favor of a promise."
"Only make promises I can keep." Her voice is teasing now, to lighten the mood, but he hears the warning that says not to ask something of her she won't be able to give him.
"Try." River smiles and waits and hopes his words don't make her pain with want to appease him when she won't be able to. The thought goes away as fast as it struck, she knows he wouldn't pain her in the least. His voice breaks her waiting, "Promise me that now we're past that, you won't ever make me leave you in danger again."
River shakes her head and a look of fear passes on her features, her chest aching in thinking she might anchor Mal to stay for the scene of his death.
"Promise me." His voice is quiet and strong.
"She refuses to be the albatross of bad omen, weighing you down to sink into a grave."
Mal growls low, shakes his head as his guilt still ebbs low in his gut. "River, I need to hear you say you won't make me leave you."
River swallows harshly and makes a silent promise, one that says she'll never let them fall into a position of needing to be parted for protection again. "I promise."
The two sit on the couch, cuddled together. They fall between sleep and being awake, talking occasionally but otherwise engaging only in comfortable silence.