Hey guys, Easymac is back (no rhyme intended) with Teen Series Episode 13! And just to let you know, the remaining episodes will follow the seasons, as in episodes 13-15 will be set during winter while the rest will be set during spring.
Episode #13: Peeping Ed
People cheer from bleachers as Peach Creek plays a basketball game against the visiting Bananna Bluffs in the PCH Gymnasium. Bananna Bluffs's colors are yellow and green.
"And McGee passes it to Dorn." the announcer says as Eddy passes the ball to Kevin, who dodges through his opponents and shoots to score for his team. Nazz, Jenna, and the other cheerleaders (same as in "Ed Stroke") cheer. Double-D and other people cheer and whoop from the bleachers.
"Twenty to twenty-one." team captain Kevin checks the scores, then tells his team "We can't let Bananna Bluffs score this time, ok boys?"
"Right-o!" Jonny answers. Paul is staring at the cheerleaders with a pervy grin until...
"Paul, let's go. Defense." Kevin calls to Paul, snapping him out of his trance and he heads over to help play defense. Kevin and Paul are both dodged by the BB players, one of whom also dodges Ed and then shoots the ball. Rolf leaps up to block the ball, sending it out of bounds. The referee throws the ball back in, and Jonny and another BB player race to grab it. Jonny grabs the ball first and passes it to Ed, who gets knocked over by a BB player attempting to steal from him, resulting in a foul against that player.
In the next play, the ball is passed to Paul. While he dribbles towards the basket, his eyes wander towards the cheerleaders...
"Ohhhh yeeaaahh!..." Paul says mentally as he starts turning away from the basket and towards the cheerleaders.
"What's Paul doing?!" Nazz asks in shock as her fellow cheerleaders yell at Paul to turn back towards the basket, and Paul's distraction allows a BB player to steal the ball from him.
"Huh?... Shit!" Paul is surprised and reverts his attention back to the game.
"Idiot." Eddy makes up for Paul's mistake by using his relatively short stature to steal the ball back and easily dodge under the BB players. He passes the ball to Ed who does a layup, raising the score to 22-21.
"We lead again, yo!" Rolf exclaims, while Kevin goes up to Paul:
"What the hell happened, Paul?" Kevin asks Paul, who's looking at the cheerleaders. Kevin smacks Paul to gain his attention: "HELLO?!"
"Oh, um... my bad for what happened before, CK!" Paul apologizes. "It won't happen again."
"I hope not, now come on." Kevin takes Paul to continue the game. Several plays later, Bananna Bluffs scores an alley-oop, bringing them ahead by one point. Peach Creek tries scoring again, but by now, only seconds are left.
"Paul, Eddy's gonna pass to me and I'm gonna pass to you, then you'll shoot while the rest of us cover you." Kevin tells Paul. "It's all or nothing."
"Aight, man." Paul complies, and the final play commences. Eddy doges his opponent guard and passes to Kevin, who dodges another and passes to Paul. Paul dribbles the ball to a good shooting spot while his teammates cover him, but as he prepares to shoot, he lays eyes on the cheerleaders again. Paul slips into fantasyland, where the cheerleaders are all wearing bikinis (except Sheranne who has a onepiece) and coaxing Paul into a tropical pool!! Many more girls fly above on angel wings!
"Come relax with us, Paul!" two girls grab Paul and take into the pool, where Nazz seductively tells Paul "You're makin me tingle, baby!"
"It's what I do, Nazzalicious! Cuz I'm Mista P, as in 'Phantastic!'" Paul spells out "Phantastic" in the air as Nazz and the other girls stroke their hands throughout his body!
"Caliente!" Jenna swims towards Paul to do the same, until her face is suddenly WHACKED inwards by seemingly nothing!!...
In reality, Paul already shot the ball. But due to his girl fantasy, he shot away from the hoop and towards the cheerleaders, and the ball hit Jenna's face, knocking her down!!
"Oh my..." Double-D utters in shock, and the other spectators are also shocked. Even more shocked are Paul's teammates, and the victorious BB players and their cheerleaders are just laughing.
"And the game goes to the Bananna Bluffs Simians!" the announcer declares, and the PC players glare angrily at Paul, whose distraction cost them the game. Paul just grins sheepishly before getting grabbed and beaten up by the furious Jenna, who curses in Spanish as she pummels him.
"Stupidass." Jenna leaves Paul squirming on the floor, where his teammates angrily approach:
"Way to go, Paul!" Eddy sarcastically exclaims.
"Plank and I are so pissed off with you." Jonny says.
"I can't believe I trusted you, of all people, with the ball." Kevin scolds.
"Not cool, yo. NOT COOL!" Rolf shouts.
The next day in school, Paul is reading through his biology book in biology class, which is also attended by the Eds, Nazz, Rolf, Sheranne and a dozen other generic students.
"Ok students, who will volunteer to draw the male reproductive system on the board?" the teacher asks, and Paul raises his hand. "Paul."
"Aight, Mrs. Ellis!" Paul goes up to the board, and starts drawing on it. By the time he's done...
"GAH!!" Mrs. Ellis screams in shock upon seeing Paul's drawing: a diagram of the male reproductive system being inserted into the female system, with joyful expressions on the drawings' faces!
"Paul. Come on, man. What is this?" the students aren't amused, and Sheranne scoffs "You make me sick, Paul."
"What, it's accurate!" Paul reasons.
"This is gettin old, dude." Nazz says. "You need to stop."
At lunchtime, the boys eat at their table. Rolf tells Kevin and Jonny what happpened in biology class:
"It's true! Hormonal Paul boy went and drew the beast-with-two-backs manuever on the blackboard." Rolf explains while demonstrating with his hands, which disturbs Kevin and Jonny.
"Planks says stop bein so graphic, Rolf." Jonny says.
"Apologies, wood boy, but Paul boy just doesn't stop." Rolf complains. "Where does it end, man?"
"I was thinkin the same thing since last night." Kevin replies. "Yeah, we all like sex jokes, but Paul just takes it to overdrive."
"And it's still goin on. Look." Jonny points to Paul, who's making a female figure out of his lunchmeat.
"Yo, check out Ms. Bootychops here!" Paul shows off his meat figure: "Get it?! Booty?! Porkchops?! Bootychops?! Hahahaha! Oh wait!" Paul goes to get another tray of meat, and returns to make a male figure with it.
"YO, LADIES!!" he calls out to Nazz, Jenna and their girl group at their table. They see Paul sticking his straw through the male meat figure's pubic region as a makeshift penis, and blows milk through it and onto the female meat figure!
"EEEWWWWW!!!" the girls recoil in disgust, and the boys aren't impressed either.
"That's a waste of food, Paul!" Jonny scolds Paul. Jenna looks at Nazz and the other girls, they all bob their heads, then they shoot milk through their straws to knock Paul over.
"Grow up." Sheranne kicks Paul in the stomach while Ed eats the female meat sculpture: "Mmmmm, bootylicious!"
After school, we see a sign pointing towards "JIMMY'S SLIP-N-SLIDE SKATING RINK," which is a cardboard-walled ice rink that Jimmy created by using hoses to spray the middle of the cul-de-sac and waited for the winter air to freeze it. So far, Zoe, Nazz, Jenna, Kevin, and Jonny are skating it. Even Plank is skating by himself (on one ice skate)! Jimmy is standing by the entrance with a money jar labeled "25 cents."
"Where's Sarah and Kyle?" Zoe asks while skating past Jimmy.
"They're still doing homework." Jimmy answers as Paul comes up and pays twenty-five cents to skate in the rink. Meanwhile, a grinning Kevin is giving chase to Jenna, who hides a blush and skates ahead of Kevin.
"I love it when she plays hard-to-get!" Kevin skates faster to catch up to Jenna. But then he spots Jenna getting annoyed by Paul.
"LAY OFF, MAN!" Kevin rushes into Paul, knocking him away.
"Thanks Kev, but I didn't need your help gettin rid of him." Jenna says, skating away.
"Ah, I know you're grateful!" Kevin continues after Jenna. Meanwhile, Nazz is skating on her hands so Zoe can hand-stand on top of her feet.
"WHEEEEEE!!" Zoe yells in joy as she and Nazz spin around in opposite directions, then she jumps off and Nazz flips her feet back into her ice skates. Then Paul appears next to her!
"That was some smooth formation you and Cray-Z did!" Paul comments.
"God, will you go away? You've been a huge annoyance today." Nazz tries skating away, but Paul skates in front of her.
"Ok look, Nazzalicious. Maybe I overdid it a bit in school, but I can make up for it!" Paul says.
"Not interested. I know how you are." Nazz declines.
"Nah, come on, baby! We could just-" Paul is sent flying out of the rink by a karate-kick to the crotch by a fed-up Nazz. Jenna skates to Nazz and says "He really needs to castrated."
"I couldn't agree more." Nazz agrees.
"WHOOOOAAAAAAAA!!" Paul screams as he flies across the sky, falls down, bounces across rooftops, and finally lands on two women several blocks away.
"Ah, my tits are bruised!" one of the women whines.
"My bad!" Paul gets up to help the women out of the snow, but then...
"Whatchu doin with our flowers, nigga?" a voice asks Paul from behind. Paul turns around, and sees two Drupes walking towards him.
"Oh, shit! Wait, it ain't what you think!" Paul tries reasoning but the Drupes pull out their guns!! Paul immediately runs!
"WASTE HIM!!" the second Drupe shouts, then the two begin firing their guns at the SCREAMING Paul!! Paul runs through the snowy streets, jumping and rolling every so often to avoid the Drupes' bullets.
Eddy is sitting on the sofa in Double-D's living room, complaining "How am I supposed to make cash when Jimmy goes and steals my idea?"
"Well, Jimmy has more time to plan scams than you do with all your schoolwork." Double-D answers while helping Ed with his homework in the kitchen. "I suggest you find a new job instead of returning to your old con art."
"That's what I've been tryin to do with all my free time between episodes." Eddy says. Then Paul bursts in, knocking down the door in the process. He quickly puts the door back and boards it up, his heart punding out of his chest.
"HIDE ME!!" Paul panics while looking for a hiding spot.
"What is it, Paul?" Double-D asks as he and Ed zip in from the kitchen.
"DRUPES ARE SHOOTIN AT ME!!" Paul hides under the armchair. The Eds looks out through the front window, and see the two Drupes giving up the chase and walking away.
"They're gone, Paul." Eddy tells Paul, who emerges from under the armchair and sits on it. Ed asks "What happened?"
"Ok, I'll explain." Paul begins: "I was chillin with Nazzalicious, right, when she kicked me in the air. I flew up some hundred feet before I fell back down and landed on these two Drupes' flowers."
"Flowers?" Eddy asks.
"That's the Drupes' term for girlfriend, woman, bitch, etcetera." Paul explains: "Now where was I? Oh yeah, I realized the two women I crashed into were those Drupes' girls. Then they tried bustin caps in my ass, and I ran for my fuckin life all the way over here."
"Wow." Ed comments.
"So wait, you said that Nazz kicked you?" Double-D asks.
"Gee, I wonder why THAT happened." Eddy sarcastically says.
"I'm gonna have to agree there." Double-D says. "There's no polite way to say this, Paul, but I'm afraid your feminine lust has gone too far."
".... What're you talkin bout?" Paul asks a bit insecurely.
"Your obsession with girls has become a hindrance to them and a distraction to yourself, interfering with your work as well as game performance." Ed says in a burst of intellect, surprising Double-D and Eddy, who turns back to Paul:
"And no offense, but your sex jokes are gettin kinda stale." Eddy says.
"I got no idea what you guys are sayin!" Paul rebuffs in denial, sweating: "Hehe, my sex jokes RULE! I'mma playa! The girls love me cuz I'm Mista P, sex god extraordinaire! I ain't got no obsession! I'm FINE!!..........................."
But then Paul breaks down and drops to his knees: "ALRIGHT, I CONFESS!! I GOT PROBLEMS, MAN!! BIG FUCKIN PROBLEMS!! LOOK AT ME, I'M NOTHIN BUT A STUPID HORN DOG WHO CAN'T GO FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT LOOKIN AT SOME PORNO, JACKIN OFF IN MY ROOM, HOOKIN UP AND BREAKIN UP OVER THE COURSE OF 24 HOURS, AND SLEEPIN WITH GIRLS AT EVERY WEEKEND PARTY!! I'VE BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE I WAS SEVEN, GUYS!! SHIT, BACK IN THE HOOD, MY NEPHEW GOT SHOT IN THE ASS AND BECAME A PSYCHO CUZ I WAS OFF FLIRTIN WITH GIRLS INSTEAD OF WATCHIN HIM!! I KNOW WHAT I DO IS BAD, BUT I NEED IT, AND I CAN'T DO NOTHIN ABOUT IT!! I'M JUST GONNA BE A HOPELESS SEX ADDICT FOREVER!!!"
".... I wouldn't say forever, Paul. And there is hope for you!" Double-D reassures Paul: "Us friends are here to help you overcome your insatiable hunger for... stimulation, so to speak."
"You sure about this?" Eddy asks in Double-D's ear: "Once my brother started doin drugs, he never let it go. Our chances of fixin Paul are as slim as Ed growin a chin."
"We have to try, Eddy." Double-D reasons: "If Paul continues like this, he could get arrested for sexual charges and voyeurism."
"Yeh, and I don't want that." Paul worries.
"Now that you mentioned that, I'm in." Eddy resolves.
"Alrighty, then! Ed, grab Paul while I formulate a plan." Double-D tells Ed.
To Be Continued...
Trivia: The biology teacher Mrs. Ellis is named after Kylie Ellis, the show's post-production manager and coordinator. And the Drupes referring to their girlfriends as "flowers" is a reference to the blooming flowers of peach, plum, cherry, almond, and apricot trees.
I need help with ideas for my final episodes, so visit my profile to check them out and PM me if you have anything in mind.