The trees were a mottled blur as she raced back to their site. Almost everyone was outside save for Carol, Shane, Daryl, and Dale.
She was out of breath and her hands were shaking. "Daryl?" she said. "Daryl?!"
Hershel's voice was careful and kind but matter-of-fact. "He was running after you but saw a walker on Dale's trail. He ran into the woods after them."
Her voice was hysterical. "And? And?! What the fuck are we doing standing around here?!"
"Daryl can take care of himself. We shouldn't risk losing track of any more people." Rick replied. "Rose, you know he'll be alright. You know."
"No. No, I absolutely do not know. How can you do this? He'd go after any of you! He went after Dale!"
"I know you're scared and upset, child, but it will be alright." Hershel's voice was genuine but it didn't matter.
She looked at Glenn and Maggie who looked helpless and shameful. None of this made any sense to her. It was another day that felt like a complete nightmare. Why couldn't she get through to any of them?
Shane was carrying Carol upon their return. Everyone's eyes asking them-is she bit? Shane shook his head. "Think her leg might be broken." He sat her down gently next to where Hershel was standing.
Rose shook her head. "I will go by myself. If you all refuse to go after him, I'll fucking do it. And don't even try to stop me."
Shane looked confused. "What the hell is goin' on?"
They filled Shane in and Rose went to the RV. She punched the wall and yelled in frustration, startling herself-she never felt anger like this before.
She put on a heavy sweater, swapped her shoes for boots. Decided to leave her bow-her amateur shooting would surely be in vain and…she paused just for a moment to realize that she took down that walker with ease and speed. Something inside her was extinguished and she went into survival, and protection mode. She balled her hands into fists, then went into the back and grabbed a couple of knives which she tucked securely into her boots.
When she stepped outside, closing the door behind her with haste, Andrea spoke up. "You know, we aren't going after Dale either. Do you understand? This was a group decision."
"Yeah, because you think Daryl will bring him back! And I don't give a fuck what you say Andrea-if you cared about Dale as much as you say you do, you'd be out there right now."
Andrea scowled and took a step forward and Glenn put his hand on her chest. "Just stop, Andrea. Just shut up."
Rick approached Rose and actually knelt down and held his hands out. Lori glared at the gesture. "Honey. You have every right to be angry at us-at me. And I'm sorry-"
"He's your best damn man! You're just going to give him up? What the hell is wrong with you? If nothing else-"
"Exactly. He's one of our best men. That is how I know he'll be back. But you can't go after him, Rose. Please. You…you aren't ready. Going alone? Please don't."
"You might be able to keep them here. Or they simply don't want or give a damn to go. But you can't keep me here." She looked at Maggie and Glenn and Beth with a softer expression. Hershel. They're all family. Rick…if his excuse is that Daryl will be okay, then he'd be okay too. Finally, she looked at Shane. It was a quick glance before turning away from them. She'd be better off alone than with him. Being an unstable wild card is all he could give her.
"Maybe I'll see you around", Rose said, voice cracking. She walked away clenching her jaw, determined and afraid and fearless all at once. "No Daryl, no me" she whispered to herself.
Andrea's voice carried. "Let her go. She just wants to be a martyr."
Seconds later Rose felt strong hands on her shoulders. It was Rick.
"I can't let you go. It isn't an option. Daryl wouldn't want that. And I…I just can't."
She crumbled. She tried so hard to be strong and steady and fearless. But something in Rick's voice and the look on his face and she wilted like a flower. Slowly resting on her knees, with tears in her eyes, she begged him.
"Please…please. Go with me, or I'll go alone but please. Help me or let me go. I can't…I don't know how to do this. Rick."
Shane was walking their way but Rick turned around and gestured for him to stay where he was. He couldn't imagine Shane making anything better.
Unable to respond and not knowing what else to do (something about this girl was just pleading to be held), Rick pulled her into his lap and was taken aback by how small and fragile she felt. Pale skin, shaking limbs-felt like she could break. The strange thing about it was she wasn't all that little. She was tall, strong legs, certainly not a waif like Lori…
She clung to him. "He's all I have, Rick. He's what I need."
He rocked her for a while, feeling everyone's eyes on his back. It didn't matter. For him, it was about trying, attempting to do what's right-even if you aren't entirely sure what that is. He felt protective of Rose, would protect her like Carl…and there was something else there he couldn't explain or understand. It was good natured and honest but perplexing. She really did have this way about her that made you gravitate towards her, in whatever way that may be.
He held her with strong arms, whispering. "I can't let you go, sweetheart. I'm sorry."
She broke into sobs.
And a voice came from behind Rick. It was self-assured and solid.
"I'm going with you."
With no other options and desperation threatening to destroy her, she kissed Rick's cheek.
Then she took Shane's outstretched hand and stood up.