Yey! Long chapter!
23. The Truths Of Jitty.
Outside Jake was walking down the street, rapidly. He was about a mile down at the park and began to walk along the path. Before long he could hear someone yell out his name. Fully.
"Jacob James Puckerman, get back here!" Kitty yelled. "Do you think it's easy for me to run in these black high heel sandals? The least you can do is stop moving so much—Oh forget it!" Kitty stopped and took her shoes off and tossed them to the side, then running again. "Puckerman!"
Jake sighed, stopping, and turning around to face the running blonde; now half way towards his standing spot. "What Kathleen?"
Kitty stopped when she reached him; breathing deeply from the running and catching her breathe. "You…. Suck!"
"That's it? All that running just to say I suck?" Jake asked. "Pointless of running." He then turned around again and began walking off to think once more.
Kitty screamed at him once again, "Wait!"
Jake turned around again, not fully though. He looked at her confused but expected for something.
"I—I," Kitty chocked. "I'm sorry for being a bad Carrie Underwood song mixed in with a Taylor Swift break up song, cherry topping it with reaction of people after they heard of Kim Kardashian divorce of a 72 days."
Jake half smiled at her. "It's alright."
"Not really, Puckerman, but….okay I guess." Kitty sighed.
The silence between them, with the exception of cars down at the other end driving by and music far off in the distance, made the duet pair lonelier. After a few minutes when he thought she was done talking Jake turned around and began to walk again, preparing himself for some deep thinking. He felt someone brush pass him and stop in front of him, holding his arms with their small hands so that he would stop.
He avoided eye contact by looking away, although it wasn't hard because she was shorter them him.
"Listen," Kitty said in a stern voice. "I know I've been acting up lately but I've got a few reasons."
"Legitimate ones or random?"
"Shut up Wannabe-Obama." Kitty said. "You know that since, well, after Sectionals I been through some crappy things—"
"No shit." Jake said, still avoiding eye contact.
"Anyways, all that crap is done and over with and while I'm kind of better I know I'm not. I keep having those memories." She said and her voice got lower than before. "I've been having real bad dreams….just about back at home and the people involved in it. And so I just went back to coping with the pain with…. The bad habit."
Jake forced himself to look at a depressed blonde. "Hey, I've been in pain too, Kathleen. You don't have a Dad of any form and neither do I. He left pretty much after I was born so my mom had to raise me on her own and even then I've kind of rebelled against things so that I can—"
Kitty shook her head as he spoke then interrupted him and said, "No. Never. You've never been hurt the same way I've been hurt."
"Okay so not physically but I've been hurt emotionally, Kathleen. But that doesn't mean I go around and hurt peoples feelings. I don't go around and knock people down, possibly bash them on the head. I don't—
"Jake!" She screamed. "You don't understand me. I've been hurt!" Tears starting to go down her face.
"So have I Kathleen!" He yelled.
"I've been hurt all three ways; physically, emotionally and sexually!" She yelled with waterworks running rapidly down her cheeks.
Jake stood still with a perplex expression on his face. He was trying to think what she meant because she never mentioned anything before about sexually hurt. Then it hit him. The second, after telling him the news, Kitty broke down bawling and hyperventilating swiftly. Jake took hold of Kitty's hand and rubbed his thumbs against her palms.
"Hey… hey Kitty…relax, it's okay." He said as he made an effort to tranquil the girl, but nothing was working. Jake picked Kitty up bridal style and searched around for a bench to sit her down on. He walked down the path for another five minutes, still making an effort to subside Kitty's tears. "Kitty calm down, shhh…calm down… it's okay."
After the five minute search Jake found a small bench near a fountain. He strolled over and sat Kitty down on the bench. He kneeled in front of her and held her hands in his, still trying to soothe the girl.
"Okay…hey…it's okay…" Jake said. "You're okay."
"God I hate lying and bitching to people that care about me!" Kitty sobbed. "I chickened out." She gasped for air. "When…you….asked if the rumors…were true….I chickened….how the hell do I tell someone 'Oh hey I'm not a virgin, but I'll parade around like a good Christian and say I am!'…. how?" She sobbed.
"Kitty…listen to me. It's okay," Jake said sincerely, now fully understanding another side of Kitty's emotions. "I get it, it's not easy to come out and say that." He took a deep breathe then made her look at him. "So…are you okay?"
"Huh?"
"I mean…" Jake looked for this words. "I mean…I know you're not pregnant but do you have—"
"No," Kitty shook her head, but tears still forming. "I didn't get a STD or anything, Thank God," Her lips quivered and she shook.
"Good." Jake said.
"I did get…." She cried out again. "And then two weeks later I miss—" She sobbed again, shaking. She didn't want to remember that at all. Losing a kid. That had to be much worse than being punched in the gut by Phil. Even if Phil was the father of the now-lost child, Kitty wanted to have that baby.
Jake pulled Kitty into a hug, rubbing her back and rocking her. "Kitty… it's okay….shhh, calm down a bit. Everything's okay."
"Oh sure, just go say that to Bobby and Phillip and the rest of the football team, minus Bunny Teeth Lynn." She commented. "All their sexual harassment crap and stuff."
"Don't worry," Jake said, rubbing her back again. "I'll deal with those guys. You just get better and healthy, alright?"
"And when I get back to Lima everything won't be alright!" Kitty screeched, but still hugging Jake. "When I get back I have to go back to therapy… I have to deal with Step 1 of the program all over again…. I didn't like it," She cringed into his shoulders. "And then with Kathy…."
"What's going on with her?"
"Being away from her, this far and for this long…I know it's good for us. Apparently I'm still too much of a emotional wreck to be near her incase she pisses me off, but I've been around her when I get pissed off about something and I usually just leave the room. But Shirley was talking to me the other day…..Kathy's been looked at by some people."
"Look at?"
"For adoption. I'm just… I'm worried," Kitty admitted. "I can't be away from Kathy. I mean, sure," Kitty pulled out of the hug. "It's okay that I'm here in California. I miss her, and I hate being this far from her, but I know when I get back home that she'll still be in her foster care home. But," She frowned. "If she gets adopted…what if she gets adopted by a couple who won't let me see her?"
"I'm sure that wouldn't happen." Jake held her hands in his hands. "After everything that you girls been through, they'd have to let you see her." Jake tried to make Kitty feel better.
"What if she gets adopted by a couple in a different state or worse, a different country?" Kitty blurted out. "It's possible!"
"Rarely happens from country to country, unless they're from Asia or whatever."
"Yeah and that only happens if your Skeletonette Jolie and Square Faced Armpit. But I'm not Skeletonette Jolie. I can't just get her. I need a full time job and I'd need to be there for her and I—"
Kitty sobbed again, harder than before, and hyperventilated. "God I hate Lima! I hate everything about Lima! I hate the damn reminder!"
"What reminder?" Jake questioned.
"The constant reminder that no matter where the hell I go in Lima, it'll all be a bullshit memory about how imperfect my life is! How since I was a little girl I've had nothing and had to work for a title; thus being a bitch to people to get a title and now-a-days I have Weakling as a title!" She sobbed again, wiping tears away. "Every inch of Lima that I come across it will be a bullshit memory! One about how Kathleen Susan Wilde was hurt by the name-claim father named Phil—who did it nothing but hurt her and her sister of two years.
"Jake! Phil is constantly haunting me in my nightmares and in real life no matter where I go in Lima." She yelled. "I know nobody who is going through this, other than my sister and soon she'll forget all about that terrible home and start having good memories at four. I mean that's good for her, but I'm old enough to remember… I'm so damn alone."
Jake sincerely gazed into Kitty's eyes. He saw the hurt in them. The pain that's been there with her all these months. He didn't grasp it before, how badly hurt she was and how bad the outcomes can be if they happen (such as Kathy's adoption that would separate the sisters) and dealing with being raped for the rest of her life by some guy who didn't even give two shits about her and care less about her healthy.
Jake leaned in and pressed his lips against Kitty's lips, cupping the side of her face with one hand. He pulled back after several minutes, but kept his face kind of close to hers.
"You've been hurt in the past, Kitty." He said. "I know that I sound like a broken record when I say this… but it's not your fault." He looked deep into her eyes. "Nothing is not your fault in this sense. It's all that Idiots fault. I'm sorry."
"For what, Half Baked Cracker?" She asked, then got a dirty look. "Whatever you get what I mean."
"I haven't fully tried to understand this at all." Jake said. "I should of understand better that you have to deal with everything that happened in the house like being kicked and hurt. I wish, however, you told me earlier about being raped—"
"Why?"
"Because I want to know everything." Jake said. "I care about you Kitty. I want to know everything that is going on in your mind and what your thinking and what your remembering about your childhood. I want to know what you thought about, what you did and I guess most importantly what happened to you in that house." He explained. "But when I say this; it's the truth," He smiled. "You're not alone. I'm here, Kathy's here, Marley's here, Glee's here, Cheerio's are here, Coach Sue is here, Mr. Schue is here, Ms. Pillsbury is here. I guess, in a way, Shirley is here."
Kitty gave a faint smile to him.
Jake continued. "And I promise—"
"But 'promise is a huge word', Three Nipples." Kitty said.
"Oh ha ha." Jake laughed. "I promise I won't let anyone hurt you."
"You can't make that a promise. That's like Daddy Clownfish promising his egg cracked son the promise of never letting anything happen to him. And look what happened Fabio-Chico."
"Kitty," He said. "I promise I won't let anyone hurt you to the best of my ability. I won't let Bobby or Phillip or Phil or any bad person get to you, alright?"
"Sure Overprotected Jewish Clownfish."
"And just think of the good memories you had in Lima." Jake said with a smile, using his thumb to wipe away some of her tears that were left on her rosy red puffy cheeks. "Like when your mom sent you to that Bible Camp and you got the award for most outspoken? Or learning to do cheering tricks with a broken arm—was that Phil related by the way?"
Kitty, smiling at the memories a bit, nodded.
"Bastard. Anyways, yeah… uh…Kathy's birth was in Lima, right? Uh… that's all I've got for now. But just think of those good times. Kitty, do this thing that Marley taught me the other day."
"What? How to gobble down a milkshake in ten seconds?"
"Some quote she learned from her dad." Jake said. "Remember the past; See the present, dream of the future."
Kitty listened to the quote carefully; thinking about what they meant. She always remembered the past because that was the whole thing that made her lose control of herself once again. The present? Well she was sitting with Jake now and they both kind of apologized to one another for their actions and she was on good terms with Marley again. The future? Kind of distance from now but she imagined something like Kathy and her still being together, no matter if they were a city away from one another or if they were a state apart (country though, a different question!).
"Hey when we get back to Lima, thing's will be different for you. And us." Jake smiled. "I can promise that."
Kitty rolled her eyes in annoyance, the word promise again!, but she gave a kind smile. "Thanks." She said, wiping some tears away.
"No problems Kitty." Jake said, pulling her into a hug. "Alright let's get some milkshakes and burgers I'm fucking hungry and the buffet food was disgusting."
The duo got up and began walking in the direction they came from, so that Kitty could grab her shoes that she tossed off. Holding hands Jake pulled Kitty to his side and kept her close.
"Three Nipples?" Kitty noted something.
"Yeah?"
"You haven't called me Kathleen at all since I told you about being raped."
Jake laughed. "That's because you're my kitty, Kitty."
"Stop being a damn cornball." Kitty screamed. "I'd smack you if I didn't love you"
"Love you too Kitty." Jake said, kissing the top of her head.
Awww Jitty!
They made up.
Next is RYLEY!