Here's some more lams drama! Enjoy!
CHAPTER 25
Alexander Hamilton
I'm honestly really glad I don't have a reason to be mad at John anymore. I don't like avoiding him all the time. I feel like, throughout the last week or so, I've been squeezing my eyes shut. Now I can open them and look at John for real. I don't have to sneak glances at his freckles or pretend to be reading whatever I have in front of me. I never want to fight with him again.
I would feel really guilty if I had missed Maria and Eliza's act to be with John, but, luckily, we got back to our seats in time. John is still wearing his suit, and I'm pretty sure he was supposed to watch from backstage for the rest of the show. But whatever, I'd much rather have him here by my side. It's one of those weird moments when I'm suddenly super aware of the position each of our hands are in. John's hand is resting on his thigh, and mine is on the armrest. If I just moved it a few inches, we could be holding hands, but John is super focused on the stage and a girl playing the violin. I don't really want to interrupt that cute look of interest on his face. So, yeah, I kind of do end up watching him instead of the talent show. He has a tiny smile on his face and eyes so wide that they hide a few freckles that usually hide behind his eyelashes. John glances at me and shoots me a look that says, what are you looking at?. I'm looking at you, I want to say. And you're really beautiful. But, instead, I inch my fingers closer to his until our pinkies brush each other. He smiles down at our hands and connects them. I feel my heartbeat speed up and that weird fluttery feeling in my stomach, but it's not like he's never held my hand before. It isn't a new thing.
Maria and Eliza prance onto the stage from opposite sides with focused smiles on their faces. A song I've never heard before fills the auditorium and propels the girls into motion. They move perfectly in sync, fast and then slow, taking up the whole stage. Somehow, they've configured the lights to change colors on the beat behind them, and their movements combined with the fading colors in the background make the performance incredible to behold. When they suddenly freeze and the music stops, a few hundred hands clap. They scamper off the stage after a moment, beaming and holding hands. I'm grinning at John and clapping until my hands ache before I even register that the talent show is over. Mr. Washington returns to the stage to address the audience and thank us for coming. John, Angelica, Peggy, Lafayette, Hercules, and I wait outside the auditorium for Eliza and Maria to come out. They reflect on their favorite acts, and John and I do our best to pretend we were there for everything.
"I didn't see you and John in your seats, by the way," Angelica says with a smirk. "Where'd you go?"
"Oh, we were there," John counters. I give Angelica a look that convinces her to drop it.
Maria and Eliza step out of a door near the entrance to the auditorium carrying bulging plastic bags and wearing leggings and sweaters. Their faces are slightly red, probably from rubbing at stage makeup. We bombard them with smiles and hugs as soon as the door closes behind them. Once we've completed our accost, Maria glances around, disappointed, and Eliza touches her arm.
"Dolley promised me she would come," Maria says in a strained voice, pasting a very fake smile on her face. Eliza assures her something probably came up, but neither of them seems convinced. We all head back to the dorms laughing and talking and trying in vain to cheer Maria up.
After the girls split off from the group to their dorms, Hercules and Lafayette walk ahead of us. The hallway splits into two paths, and a muttering sound comes from the one that doesn't lead to our dorm. John taps my arm to alert me to the sound as if I haven't noticed it already. He looks at me with a question in his eyes, and I nod. The voice, as we can hear from closer to its source, belongs to Dolley Payne. There's another voice, one I don't recognize. It's a girl's voice, though, and she's hushing Dolley in between giggles.
John and I look past the wall concealing us to see them. The girl I don't know is pressed up against the wall and has her finger against Dolley's lips. Dolley pushes her finger away and then leans in to kiss her.
No. No. They can't. I have to look away so I won't get nauseated enough to puke into my hand like that time I walked into a portable toilet and the smell was so bad I had to sprint out with my hands cupped over my nose and mouth. John can't take his eyes off them. He's so stunned I have to grab his collar and drag him out of sight. Part of me wants to march up to Dolley and tell her how despicable it is to do what she's doing, and judging by his facial expression, I can tell John is having the same thoughts. But I force myself to think logically and lead John by the hand through the hallway that will get us to our dorm. Hercules and Lafayette give us questioning looks that we ignore. I sit on my bed and beckon for John to do the same.
"What are we going to do, John?"
"We can't tell Maria." He looks me dead in the eyes and squeezes my hands to emphasize his point.
"It isn't a healthy relationship!"
"But it would break her, Alex. It would truly break her." His chin is trembling. He better not cry, not before we've figured this out.
John Laurens
I can't help wondering what would have happened if we confronted Dolley. Maybe we could have made sure she stopped and broke up with Maria in the worst way possible. Now we're left with this awful feeling of being the only people who know a horrible secret, and it's none of our business. Alex hasn't given any insight about what we should do, but neither have I. So I guess I can't complain. I do wonder what Maria would say. I've always thought that Eliza was the girl she truly wanted, but nevertheless, Dolley makes her happy.
"Ugh, what if we all just advised Maria to break up with her? Like we could just say we didn't like her and… who do we even tell about this?" I start.
"No one." Hercules rounds the corner, clutching a grinning Lafayette by the hand, and the pair of them look at us inquisitively. It wouldn't hurt to tell them. And maybe the two would have a better idea about how to go about hiding this or coming clean to what we saw.
"That's a bad idea," I tell him, to which he only grimaces. The boys advance, hands linked, toward us with smiles on their faces. Alex shifts forward, letting the book perched on his lap tumble off and to the smooth fabric on which he sits beside me. Hercules and Lafayette watch us with smirks on their faces.
"You have to tell us now." Alex shoots me a piercing look. I force my eyes away from his glaring face and turn to the boys hovering over us. I nearly lie. I could very easily tell them that we merely lost something or missed a class. But they do deserve to know, don't they?
"Dolley is cheating on Maria," I say, heaving a sigh from between my pursed lips. Alex's elbow jabs sharply into my side, but I don't give him the satisfaction of winning. Lafayette's eyebrows shoot up while Hercules' jaw drops. After a moment, he shrugs it off and moves to sit opposite Alex and me.
"Well, shit!" Lafayette chirps as he falls back into a polished rocking chair, set apart from the other well cared for articles of furniture. His false cheery tone is almost more hilarious than the way the news rolled effortlessly off Hercules' back. "Are we telling her?" Before I can give him an answer of my own, Alex cuts in with a snappy remark.
"Well I didn't want to tell anyone at all, but John here has other ideas."
"Most of the time you love my ideas, Alex. Like that time I sang a love song to you."
"And the rest of Elizabethtown High."
"But mostly you." Alex apparently decides this argument is too petty for him and ends it with a quiet scoff.
"We're telling you this," says Alex, beckoning Eliza over with his large brown eyes, "because you're her best friend."
"I'm not sure I want to know what 'this' is." Eliza perches herself delicately on the edge of our couch, one eyebrow raised and stares boldly into Alex's eyes. He nods and, now curious, Eliza sits forward. After telling our roommates, Alex wasn't as hesitant about the idea of spreading this scandalous news. Admittedly, the girls did look happy when Alex and I stumbled upon them, but poor Maria. I don't even want to imagine the way she'll feel when undoubtedly faced with the truth of the matter. Thinking back on it, I didn't know the girl. Although that's not to say Maria doesn't.
"Dolley is cheating on Maria!" Alex blurts out, leaning forward as he speaks. Eliza shoots to her feet emphatically, and I can almost make out an entirely different emotion flash past her eyes for half a second.
"I knew it!" she exclaims. "What are you waiting for?! We have to tell her this."
"Eliza, think. How would she react?" Alex prods her.
"It doesn't matter. She has to know!" Eliza leaps to her feet and runs to the door, and Alex sends me a look of panic. Maria can't know so soon; he's right about that. But Eliza is at the door.
"Eliza, wait!" I call out. She turns back to look at us.
"She has to know," she repeats. I can tell she's barely thinking, her loyalty taking over. Eliza is, through and through, a good friend. Even if it will cost Maria's relationship and her happiness for the next few days.
"Please, please wait," I argue. "Tell her in a few days."
"No, John, I'm sorry. No, I can't let her think everything's fine!" I find Alex and Eliza staring at each other with pain in their eyes. They must be thinking of the time they shared as a couple. I can't push away the jealous feeling triggered by their gaze. What are they considering so intensely?
"You did something with John, didn't you?" Eliza's voice is soft, sad, and not accusing. "When we were together?"
Alex's eyes lower to his lap in shame. He despises talking about that night. No matter how hard I try to persuade him, he will never forgive himself. "I - I did, Eliza. I am so, so sorry."
"It doesn't matter now. We're both over it." Alex's face crumples in his effort to stop the tears from escaping his eyes. I rub a hand up and down his back. Eliza, taking the silent moment to flee, pulls open the door and sprints out of the dorm. I can only imagine what will happen in the next few minutes. I turn my attention to Alex, recovering from his memory, and sigh. At this point, it's only a matter of minutes before Maria hears the news, and there's nothing we can do to prevent it.