It's difficult. Life, in every aspect…most likely it is a trial, as most in the past and present claim, but what is this trial for? Who is the judge? God? If all of this is just to enter Heaven, then why don't we all become priests or nuns?

To use the gifts God has bestowed upon you….we use these gifts…for whom? And, about the nature of these gifts and the relation between an individual and God… He is all knowing, all powerful, almighty… So He knows what we will do every second of every day…so why the trial? Is everything planned? Is everything designed? What is the individual's purpose? What is there to prove if we are simply acting out a script that has already been written? Then, what are we? Puppets? Toys? If we are designed and set to function in a specific manner, there is no choice…there are no thoughts and actions or accomplishments that belong to the individual. They all belong…to Him.

Then what of war? Ha. The humor of it. A…'child' if you will, setting up his toy soldiers, putting life and momentum to their step…pushing them to kill one another…pushing one to the ground, dead, but left there…to accumulate with the others…to admire the slaughter…the field of bodies when the game has come to a temporary end. Then if the child tires and decides to leave the mess and chaos He has created…they are abandoned…a mess….inanimate toys which cannot right themselves on their own. They may wish for order, but they are unable to stand, themselves, let alone hold up the rest of their…collection.

Then the idea of the 'Chosen People'…that in itself is hilarious. If the Almighty Lord created Humanity, and we are all his children…then there are those he loves more than others…the preferred siblings… Callous parent. He gives death so that we may die and return to him after going through with his little play labeled 'Life'? Why would one want to? Why would a child dream of frigid, uncaring hands as they cry from loneliness in the middle of the night? Without the parent, without friends…only puppets…what can they dream of for comfort? An endless, dreamless sleep? But the dreams, the thoughts, the tears, pain, misery, happiness, anger…the loneliness…is all a part of the great design…the script…then it is dust to dust. We are swept aside, thrown into oblivion…the body rots…the mind ceases to function as the blood stops flowing….we are only dust….blown away by the breath that might carry our Father's words….all is hopeless.

Then…if there are no manipulating strings…we are still alone…without attachment…lies for faces surrounding oneself...lies in words… Prayers? The Scriptures? They are words too… God leaves us to our own devices. We create His words…his teachings. We are left to chance and whim. We are ourselves by our own creation…our choices mold us, though not our physical image…who we are. I am human…one of many, you can say. But I am different. I like this and hate that. I fear this and cherish that. I see different colors, a separate world with my eyes which are not attached to anyone but myself. I think and feel that of which no one else may ever experience… There are commonalities…based on circumstances and situations…from our beings which are human and have similar needs and functions. Imperfect, unique, individual, free…but alone, in all regards, alone.

Interests will differ, else two are not separate and being one and the same has no meaning, no discovery…it is a simple reflection…cold to the touch…useless but to see one's self more clearly…or what the world sees one to be. But in a mirror…there is no beating heart…that a person of the same mind and face would have…but it is all you, and you know every aspect of the being…so there is no change…no surprise…..useless. An animal has a heart…it may love…touch…but it cannot speak…it cannot tell you things that it ponders…its mind is limited…and…in the end….by God's word….it has no soul. Then what is it? It will be left behind while you go on to Heaven….dust to dust? Then why are we different? Chosen? Preferred? Only by our claim alone…we reach for Him the farthest…and in our strain, cannot see the one beside you reaching…reaching…the mass behind you that wants to keep up… All is a mess of ponderings…nothing is clear…murkiness…smoke…deludes the minds, wrapping it into a tangle of empty riddles that are useless as one does not hold the answers which sparks the appreciation and illuminates the extent of the craftiness of the problems. No sense comes from it…but perhaps frustration…patience…but all are unanswered. Answer. No one will speak if you demand, ask, cry, beg, plead, laugh, sing… are silent…or if you are leaving, fading…dying. No answers will come….

That is my…

Hell?

Ponderings, more ponderings, all are nothing…

Then, if there is no God, no Heaven, no Hell, no 'Chosen', no unchosen, no ultimate place which has been set aside for us after death. What if there is no God? No love but what we find here, not knowing if it is real. Pain in this life, will lead to nothing. Nothing is nothing and dust is dust. Dead is dead…and all is for naught that we seek to alter fate.

An individual dies multiple times over the course of their lifetime. They change…meaning their personalities. They become different people…even come to look differently…and like, dislike, fear, cherish…different things. When all of this changes…the past personality is erased…forgotten as the new person stands in their place. They have the same name…sometimes the same face…but you know they are different and the other is lost…leaving a stranger…in your home, bed, place of work…in your life…in every aspect in which the other existed. A child dies….wilting away to leave an adult… But individuals are dying…constantly. New experiences…smells…thoughts…ideas…passions…change one's self…make one different from day to day. The one who wrote the pages before this one…or even started this page…was someone different than who is writing now… They die completely when one forgets the other…coming to recognize what has been left by the course of change…from the previous individual. We do not see kings or tyrants as children they once were…because they are not those individuals any more. They are dead and gone. Like the flame on a candle that passes away and is lit by a different one the next day… a person is not constant…in their existence. Their path is random, turning, twisting, changing…with their heart…with who they are. You live for a purpose…but purpose changes face and you live for something else….

Still, there is no sense that is drawn from these wanderings in the abstract world of thought. They do nothing…they carry no shadow in the world and reality outside one's mind. When one forgets them…they are dead and gone…so write them down…so that they might escape this…so that they may not be forgotten…and die. Record 'Innocence' so it may flow through you once more when your eyes cross the page before you. Let the mind…the individual…live again….by keeping their soul in words…words which will be read and understood by another…integrating the message of your existence into words to the best of your ability…preserve what you may…and do not forget. Remember. Remember. Remember, forever…to hold and keep all that you are…to exist… Immortality is birthed on the concept of lasting forever…that is impossible. But if there are minds that can hold you and pass you along…millions of years into the future through the branches of generations…you still exist. And this is immortality…if you manage to manifest all that you are into words…you can still speak and feel with the emotions captured in the ink and language. It is beautiful…compared to the emptiness of nothing…and depending on the emotions those with you in mind have, when they bring you to life for a moment of pondering…or silence…giving you their mind and body to live and possess as they stop thinking and feeling and only echo your words and emotions…even crying for you as you write of sadness…laughing at your humor…their heart may beat faster at the force of your passions or anger. So that is why I wonder and write this…for I feel…that I will die soon…with the rising of the sun and the dawn of the next day.

To make this more specific, and closer to myself as it has so far been general….I have nothing to say….for I do not know myself…and whoever you see through the words I have written…these thoughts and beliefs…will be seen differently and understood…differently…for each reader… I suppose there is no immortality…but perhaps there is a little… I don't know the answer…and now the individual fades into Hell or nothingness…regardless…without the answer which may be unsought in the days to come…by the one who possesses the body at the present time…the future… All is a riddle…that is life…a riddle…and one is to find the answer before the candle becomes smoke…and there is no more light left to see by… Life is precious and fleeting…as is passion and opinion…innocence and the individual…and anything else one may think of…as long as it is subject to change…..and in my perspective…that is everything…

Ah, that makes us all such desperate, rushing creatures…does it not? And all murderers…of the children we once were…of who we were yesterday… That would be how God could be killed…He is immortal as he is worshipped and remembered…if He was forgotten…he would cease to exist…and die.

Grim, delicate, beautiful, cursed…these are the shades in which I see life… New eyes will give different shades under a new sun tomorrow. Goodbye. I recede into the darkness of nothing now. Be what may, I have died many times as I wrote this…now another will replace me tomorrow…fear in not knowing…the change in emotion itself kills a person…so remain unchanged…without emotion, killing and creating a new existence, for as long as nothing changes as the dust settles…and no wind picks it up…one will not die…but one will not live either. One must breathe, and breath with disturb the dust…uncovering a new self…and a tomorrow… Hopeless is life. Humanity. But beautiful, cherished, dear to a God that rests above… I would choose to breathe….if I were not dead.

*~~:*.*:~~*

"Which did you prefer?"

Abraham gave in to a pause at the unexpected voice, let alone the question itself, and he glanced down at the creature which was unable to look at him, Abraham having already secured his head in the bindings.

"The…me from before the seal was removed…or altered…versus the one that existed before you locked me away?"

The human's hands jolted, but Hellsing swallowed his gasp and watched Alucard in silence. He kept his expression neutral and slowly gave animation to his limbs to finish the task of binding Alucard for the experiments. He tried not to think, but the question coursed through his veins in the form of emotion, not words, and his temper flared, showing itself as a twitch in his brow and a crease beside his lips. Then reason arrived, crashing into him violently and he started, his head whipping around, regardless of pain at the impulsive movement, to stare at the vampire.

"You've been reading the Journal?"

Long, black lashes blinked in response, while red eyes remained directed at the ceiling of the chamber. Alucard spoke after the silence persisted and Abraham did not resume his current task. "A little at a time."

"Why?"

"Too much…would be overwhelming…everything would meld together…not giving each voice its own individual existence." The demon's tone and expression seemed distant and thoughtful, as if he were speaking and seeing another that was not in the cell. Hellsing found the feeling and wording faintly familiar, but he ignored it.

"What do you mean by that?" Abraham's shoulder refused to move for a moment, leaving him frozen in the action of tightening a strap. He frowned and continued his work with a push of effort.

"Never mind." The vampire spoke suddenly, adopting monotone into his voice and adding momentum to his words with a disappointed sigh. "You haven't read it, have you?"

Abraham showed his guilt by being quiet and strapping the bindings.

"We have noticed that with repetition, your body slowly becomes immune to certain banes…such as the crucifixes and even Holy water to an extent." Abraham said slowly, stepping back as the last strap was secured. Alucard didn't respond, not even blinking. "We will continue the exposure to see if we can improve you… We will make you stronger…"

"No."

Abraham and a few men that had gone unnoticed in the room paused. "Why?" The protest didn't make sense in Abraham's mind.

"I don't need to be stronger. Leave me as I am."

"But we can do so much and…"

"Leave me as I am. I have no desire to become immune to your weapons." Abraham tried to speak but the demon's eyes flashed dangerously. "Then how would you kill me if I ever turned on you?" Alucard suddenly barked, his abrupt anger flickering the source of light in the chamber of stone, adding to the fragrance of fear that touched the air and began to smother the creature. Alucard scowled and bit his tongue to collect his emotions, frustrated with himself at the outburst and unsettled confusion from the ripples the Journal had set off in his mind. How would I die? If I became immune…how would Man manage to kill me? Alucard decided to divert attention away from what had just happened. A dark chuckle came from parted fangs while the creature's face contorted into ugly humor for a moment. "Would you like to know something about the me that surfaced after being locked away?"

Abraham had retreated to the side of the room, following the example his men had set at the sound of the disturbing humor, and he leaned backwards, hoping to feel the comfort of the wall as his support. His back only met air and he glanced behind him, finding himself several feet from the wall. He blinked and frowned at his uneasiness, choosing to glare at Alucard as he felt thankful that the wall had not been there, wanting to mask his uneasiness. "What?"

"He found a way to kill God." There were gasps and a heavy silence that made the vampire's eyes flare, widening as he laughed at their fear. "To forget Him would be the way…" confusion and disbelief replaced the fear and Alucard's humor lessened until it became nonexistent. "That Journal is very…thought provoking…and unsettling…some of it doesn't make sense while other parts…seem true, but debatable."

Alucard didn't speak as the experiments began.

"Sir." One of the men spoke nervously without looking at Abraham. Other men were also eying the vampire with distrust and Abraham walked over to the group after taking a final look at the observations from the last experiment, handing the log back to the man in the corner of the cell. Hellsing didn't need to speak before the man continued. "Why does the vampire seem so much…healthier? He was thin, emaciated before…and now…"

Blue eyes traveled over the smooth muscular build, widening as the journey came to an end at the creature's abdomen. Alucard was still rather thin, but he was…much improved in his physical appearance. Surprise gave hesitation to Abraham's response and a moment passed before he admitted to the incident with the two vampires that had been captured. The men were shocked by the information, dismayed that they had not been told and had not been the one's to notice and capture the monsters. Abraham advised for them to forget their feelings for the moment and to carry on with the experiment. Different chemicals were tested on the undead flesh, to see how the reaction compared to a human's response, but this only lasted for a short while before the experiment of interest was started. A large slab of iron was placed in Alucard's mouth and he was instructed to bite down with as much force as was possible.

The men paled when two halves of iron clattered beside the vampire's face and Alucard spat out a piece that was a perfect contour of his mouth. The creature worked his jaw for a moment, frowning at the aftertaste. "Blood may taste like iron, but it is not quite the same the other way around."

The remark went unnoticed in the face of the revelation and connection the men made between a human victim and the iron slab. The monster's jaws could easily crush bone, let alone the fragile trachea in the throat. Being caught between jaws like those…meant a sure death.

A thicker slab was presented and inserted into the unwilling vampire's mouth, ending with the same result. Steel was tried next, all coming to the same conclusion while several humans tugged at the collars of their shirts unconsciously.

"We should extract one for study." The man who was writing the observations spoke quietly to Abraham without warning, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Hellsing shook his head, disturbed by the suggestion, but the man persisted and gained the support of the other hunters conducting the experiment. "It might grow back." The man added with an unreadable smile. However, he flinched when the vampire joined the conversation.

"I'm keeping my fangs inside my mouth."

"Not according to the agenda." The man retorted, something dark within his character causing him to narrow his eyes.

"If my Master does not agree with it, then I have no reason to allow you to touch me." A growl rumbled in Alucard's chest, intimidating a few while deadening the glare that was still being directing at the creature.

"Hellsing!" the man hissed at Abraham, making Hellsing's brow furrow as he considered the tone. "Do something!"

"I don't give my permission. There's nothing more to it." Abraham sighed, while his detached gaze startled the frustrated man who clutched at the journal in his arms. "Let us continue with the original schedule…"

"This is foolish, Hellsing." The man broke in and the hunters went rigid, edging away from the conflict when the man added a sneer to his words. "You're damaging our research as you stubbornly limit it with your desire to protect your pet."

"He is not my pet." Abraham snapped, growing impatient and bothered by the man's insubordination. "I am overseeing the research. I am in charge here. When I say no, that means no. End of discussion."

"If you aren't protecting him…then why not let us study him as the test subject he is. There are many vampires, though, most do not possess his superior regeneration…this one can be replaced."

"He isn't like other vampires. He's a superior example of his race, and you know this." Abraham narrowed the distance between the two men and glared down at his assistant coldly. "He is one of a kind. The Nosferatu."

"What do you mean by that?" the man retorted insensitively.

"He means…I was the proclaimed vampire king…the No-Life-King, as I remember it."

There was silence as the humans gazed, wide eyed, at the vampire.

"Vampires don't have kings." The man spat back. "They have don't have a form representation. They are singular…detached…a body of anarchy."

"True. So my title only came from my level of power, which was unrivaled." Alucard replied curtly and cut off the topic by ignoring the questions or ranting that spewed from the irritated man. Abraham didn't speak, watching his slave carefully.

"Why haven't you told us this?"

Abraham jerked, coming back to the present situation with the hard voice and he moved his attention to the man who was still clinging to the journal in his arms, his knuckles turning white. Hellsing's gaze lingered on the knuckles as he spoke. "It doesn't mean anything. I told you that he was a vampire that was stronger than the others we have seen."

"Why did you kept this vampire alive in the first place?" the man suddenly demanded, showing his teeth within a scowl.

Abraham blinked, softening his expression as he was stunned by the sudden turn the conversation had taken. Then his face contorted with anger, though he kept his voice level. "That was my choice."

"But why?"

"Because!" Abraham's voice was loud enough that the assistant cringed, so Hellsing dropped his volume and continued. "He had use. The vampire is unique in regards to his race and abilities. Killing him would be…wasteful…when there was much more potential within the option of harnessing his power and controlling him."

"Harnessing his power?" the man shrieked, quite beside himself, and he frightened his companions as they started, shocked by his tone and wild expression. "You're a right old fool! A beast like this should have been killed!"

"Why are you saying this?" Abraham's brow creased in confusion and concern for the man.

"From the results of the experiments, he's shown himself as a demon among demons. A real devil, Hellsing. I don't know how you managed to capture him before…but if he does escape, that would mean the death of all of Great Britain!"

"I captured him to prevent this…and he is bound to me, so the possibility is…"

"Hellsing!" the man dropped the journal and grasped the older man's coat, shaking him slightly. "That's just it! You! Only you stand between us and total annihilation! SEE REASON!" Abraham stumbled to keep his footing as the other men stepped into action to calm their comrade, but the mortals were much slower than the vampire…and there was a shuddering gasp following a dull thud as the aggravated man was pressed against the stones of the wall, a pale hand acting as a vice about his throat.

"You won't speak to him that way and live, you insignificant wretch." Alucard hissed as the man shivered and twitched, gurgling as he struggled for a breath. The men were frozen in disbelief and horror, their eyes dull against the brightness that sparked in Abraham's. The vampire's face came closer to the man's neck, descending slowly.

"DROP HIM THIS INSTANT!" Hellsing's roar echoed, the words rolling into one another after the man had fallen to the stone floor, slumped and choking on the raw air. He fell to the side, passing out with the entrance of silence that enveloped the cell for moments before Abraham tore at Alucard's shirt, pulling the nosferatu to himself so that he could glare down at the undaunted crimson orbs. "You are NEVER to touch ANY of my men! EVER! SLAVE!" Abraham yelled and gritted his teeth, watching the emotionless features.

"He disregarded you…" Alucard began, his voice appearing to be a whisper when compared to Abraham's fury. Hellsing's grip tightened, and he hissed at the creature.

"Just as you are doing now! You know not to touch them!"

Their eyes were locked on one another's, neither blinking, for several seconds before Alucard nodded his head without breaking eye contact or changing his blank expression. "Yes, Master."

The title took away the man's anger and Hellsing sighed, letting go of his slave to run his hand through his blond hair, exhausted by the events of the night. "Return to the cell, but I shall call on you before the night is over." Abraham turned away from Alucard to see to his men, but he stopped, pausing in thought. Hellsing looked at the vampire over his shoulder. "I want you to continue reading the Journal."

Alucard didn't say anything as he melted into the stones of the wall, disturbing the men who were still puzzled by how he had managed to escape the bindings. Abraham sighed again and set to work, giving order to the chaos, he struggled to pacify his men. Hellsing grimaced as he realized he would have to report and explain what had transpired…to the Queen.

*~~:*.*:~~*

"Do you know…" Abraham paused as a scowl interrupted him and he glared at Alucard, standing behind his desk. "…what kind of mess I had to clean up after tonight's events?"

"No." Alucard stated bluntly, making Abraham glower. "You should be more strict."

"With you, yes." The man growled.

"With your men. They should never even consider questioning you."

"What do you take me for?" Abraham tried not to find humor in his words, obscuring it with a frown. "An evil dictator?"

"Just a dictator, you don't have to be evil."

Hellsing scoffed. "No thank you." Then he growled once more, remembering that the vampire was in trouble. "Why did you do that?"

"You are my Master. I will not stand for anyone to disrespect you."

As his lips became a tight line, Abraham's eyes noted the vampire's seriousness, taking the statement into consideration. He sighed. "Don't kill people just for that. He was confused…unbalanced…"

"He was much more than that." Alucard commented, making Abraham groan with exasperation.

"I don't know what was wrong with him. Perhaps he's scared of you and he doubts me, but your attacking him did nothing to rectify any of this."

"I threatened him. I did not attack him."

"You choked him and he was out cold for over ten minutes." Hellsing gave his slave an unamused look, his mouth twitching when the beast smiled. "I don't like this... I never want it to happen again." Alucard continued to smile and Abraham frowned sharply. "I'm expected to punish you."

"Oh really?" the vampire chuckled while Abraham's features formed disgust. "And how will you go about doing this?" Interest lightened the red eyes.

"I'm allowing one of the experiments that I had previously disallowed…to be performed on you."

The vampire's face fell a little, revealing anger. "I want to keep all of my fangs…intact."

"You will." Alucard calmed while Abraham sighed, weighted by the knowledge of what the punishment was. "I'll still be there tonight, to supervise."

"Can I go to sleep now?"

Abraham flinched inwardly, but nodded and the creature faded into the floor and disappeared.

*~~:*.*:~~*

Abraham sent telegrams to John throughout the day, asking him for advice on how to handle the situation without going back on his promise to allow the experiment. He couldn't just not attend the session, he was too fearful of what the hunters might do in his absence. John, however, failed to reply as the dusk came…and slowly went.

The man held his pen to the journal with a smile and he nodded to the hunter that was holding the syringe over the vampire's neck. The needle lowered to the jugular and Alucard's shoulders twitched uncomfortably, but he could not look to his Master as the bindings held him heartlessly. The creature's eyes closed while the tip entered his flesh. As soon as pressure was exerted on the syringe, Alucard's eyes flew open with his mouth and a piercing scream masked the sound of shattering glass as the hunter dropped the syringe and it cracked on the table and broke on the floor. Though only millimeters of the chemical was injected into the beast, the whites of his eyes showed while his body was twisted in a spasm of agony. Alucard's neck became spotted with blue veins that blurred to purple, bleeding into the surrounding tissues.

The pen moved steadily as the assistant didn't bother to hide his content smile. "We have to redo it….since the full amount was not injected and it is impossible to measure how much made it into the vampire since most of it is on the floor…"

"Are you trying to kill him?" Abraham demanded weakly, stepping up to his assistant, flinching at the cries of pain that continued in the background.

"No. We're testing what substances are…harmful against the undead." The smile widened and the pen marked a quick note. "Silver mercury is very effective." The man chuckled to himself, oblivious to his superior's disgust.

"So you do know it's effective, even if it's only a small dosage." Abraham scowled and his head jerked to look at the vampire, but it refused to do more than that. The screams were becoming groans, twisting into an animal like whine as the creature's body writhed, fighting the bindings. "Let him recover and move on to the next…"

"But you said…" the man cut in arrogantly, not hiding his humor.

"I SAID MOVE ON!" Hellsing suddenly roared, frightening the men into silence. Alucard was quiet as well, shaking slightly, but perfectly quiet. "There is nothing to gain from injecting him again. The quantity means nothing. If a millimeter or so puts him in this much pain, it would probably reduce an average vampire to dust. Move on." The calm tone sounded eerily against the quiet of the chamber, leading the men to continue the experiment without protest. The assistant gave an indignant frown and jabbed his pen into the journal.

Alucard did not scream again through the endurance of the night, but he was seized with uncontrollable shaking at times, though any pain broke out as a fanged grin on his face. Blood ran from the corners of his mouth and his 'healthy' state deteriorated. His hair was a deep gray when the hunters collected their equipment and left the cell, Abraham being the only mortal that remained. The man looked his slave over, drowning with guilt as he gave the vampire permission to get off the stone slab.

"I can give you some blood if…" Hellsing spoke, looking at the table as his peripheral vision told him Alucard was now sitting on the edge of it. The vampire stood, showing no signs of pain or weakness.

"I'm fine."

Muscles in Abraham's jaw tightened and he fought to look at the creature. When he managed the feat, Alucard was gone, leaving the man alone in his sufferings. Time passed, providing no changes for Hellsing as he stood idly in the empty room, accompanied only by his recent and past memories of the demon. Slowly, Abraham closed his eyes as he sighed to erase his thoughts. He failed, opening his eyes to escape the flashing images in his mind, along with the screams he heard, feeling the rawness the sound had left in his ears and heart keenly. The man did not recall leaving the chamber, but he soon found himself opening the reinforced door to Alucard's cell. He entered, looking up from the floor, noting each stone as his gaze traveled to the beast. Alucard was sitting calmly on the lid of his coffin, his hands resting by his sides. Under his fingertips, Abraham observed the journal, and his eye twitched at the long split that ran up the seams of the binding. The divide branched in snaking cracks along the back of the leather cover, somehow managing to depress Hellsing further. His eyes finally met crimson and Alucard stood casually from his seat.

Abraham stepped forward, speaking as he came closer to the being. "Alucard."

The creature blinked, his face unreadable while his hand was weighted by the Journal he kept in his grasp. "You don't call me by that name often."

Hellsing didn't respond to the comment. Black boots melded into the dark stone, erasing the steps the man made. "I am not going to allow any more experiments of that kind…to be preformed again."

Alucard didn't say anything for a moment, red eyes following his master. "If you need the research, it doesn't matter what it is, I am yours to do what you wish, Master. I'm here to serve you."

"But it was cruel and painful."

The vampire's mouth curled into a fleeting smirk, then he erased all expression from his features. "Pain means nothing to me. I heal quickly…so there is no damage left behind. Do not hesitate for my wellbeing. I am dead, remember? Master…you are dwelling on this…more than you need to." Alucard lowered himself to the coffin, looking up at his master.

Abraham was standing before his slave now and he sighed, closing his eyes for a few seconds. Alucard observed this with indifference, but his eyes grew wide and he stopped himself from flinching when a hand met his hair, ruffling it absently. Abraham's eyes were still closed at this point and he opened them to Alucard's blank face. "I am your Master." Hellsing's hand moved slowly through the nosferatu's hair. "I am responsible for your 'wellbeing'. I should protect and maintain what is mine…you are unable to protect yourself at times because I limit you so severely. It is my responsibility."

"I protect you….you needn't worry about me." Alucard spoke quietly, remaining where he was though he disapproved of the contact. His eyes unfocused as time progressed and Abraham did not remove his hand, petting the vampire as he thought.

"I just need to be more conscious of what my men are capable of doing to you, given the freedom. Most of what was done was for the purpose of releasing their spite and hate towards you and your kind. You did not deserve such a punishment for protecting me."

Dimmed crimson eyes reflected the floor while Abraham's hand trailed through a few lengthy strands of the monster's hair. The strands slowly descended and settled back into their positions as the hand returned to the man's side. "You told me once never to apologize to you…so I won't…outright. But I'll give you this promise to protect the vulnerabilities I hinder you with." There was quiet in the cell and Hellsing's expression took on a small smile. "Goodnight."

Alucard waited for Abraham to turn and begin to leave before he answered. "Goodnight, Master."

Abraham opened the door and paused to look at the vampire. The door closed gently, setting an allusion of tranquility for the endurance of the night. Alucard frowned to himself as he stood without letting go of the Journal, and he opened his coffin, closing himself inside. He whispered to the darkness before committing to falling asleep.

"I'm not you son… Master… or your pet."