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Warning : Time skip in this chapter.
"What can we do!" Feliciano starts jumping up and down out of panic.
"There's nothing we can do, they will search the whole house" I feel Schmuell wrapping his arms around my leg. "I won't let them hurt you" He whispers.
"Maybe you should hide in the closet? If they see me , a Jewish child, they won't suspect you're also hiding an SS officer. Ludwig, please hide" The boy starts pushing me into the direction of the closet.
" That's a great idea, you're very smart" I smile at him, then quickly get into the closet.
Feli runs downstairs to let the soldiers, who are still banging the door, in.
It takes a while before I hear them entering the bedroom. The footsteps are coming closer.. I hold my breath, my heartbeat fastens.
"A Jewish boy.. " One of the soldiers states.
"Hello mister soldier, do you have anything to eat.. I'm so hungry" Schmuell's voice. The kid's smarter than I thought.
"Of course, here's some chocolate, boy"
"Thank you, sir"
" We're done searching here"
When I hear them going downstairs again I let out a shaky breath. Schmuell just saved my life.
A few minutes later Schmuell opens the door, Feli's standing beside him.
" Ludwig! They believed us. They wanted me to stay downstairs and I was so worried" Feli hugs me tightly.
" All because of Schmuell, you were great.. danke for saving my life" I ruffle the child's hair.
...
Two months later
Feliciano's point of view
The allies are fighting the Germans all day and it looks like they're going to win. Most of the Nazi's already went back to Germany and it's very dangerous for Ludwig to stay in Italy. Even though I don't want him to go, it would be better for him to also go back to Germany.
"Ludwig, it's dangerous.. you should go back to Germany before they find you here."
"And do what exactly? I'm a deserter! I didn't fight with them.. I was hiding when my country needed me the most. They will shoot me !" Ludwig's almost screaming and it makes me cover my ears with my hands.
" But you were sick those days, and they will believe you.. you may be able to walk now but you still look sick"
"If I tell them I was sick, they'll tell me I had to go to the headquarters right away.. and I know that"
Schmuell's playing in the corner of the bedroom with his toys, but he's clearly listening to us arguing.
"But Ludwig I don't want to lose you ! " I shout
"You will lose me anyway.. The SS will kill me.. or the allies.. or I will get sentenced to death when the war's over. I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do.. except for hiding for the rest of my life"
"But.. why?" Tears are streaming down my face already.
"Did you really think there wouldn't be any consequences for the things I've done?"
".. I didn't want to think about it.. Besides, what is it that you've done? You were serving your country just like all other German soldiers, right?"
"I did more than that.. I can't talk about it" He's trying to hold back his tears.
"Why not? I want to know it. Did you shoot children just for fun, on your day off? When your superiors didn't command you to shoot them? Or what is it?"
He closes his eyes, a hurt expression on his face. "I can't answer to that question.. "
"But you're my boyfriend, I have the right to know what you've done !"
"Not when Schmuell's in the room. He's just a kid.. Are you out of your mind?" He grabs my arms and shoves me away causing me to slam against the wall. I know he didn't mean to hurt me, he's just really strong.. but it makes me cry anyway.
Schmuell leaves his toys and runs to Ludwig, who dropped to his knees. The little boy's crying too.
"You hurt him!"
Ludwig's pulling his own hair out, and scratching his arms again. "I know , I'm such a bad person"
Ludwig's actions make the boy even more scared and I know I need to stop this right now. I get up, feeling all dizzy and make my way to Ludwig who doesn't stop hurting himself.
"Ludwig STOP IT! Hurting yourself is not a way to deal with problems"
He just keeps repeating "Mein Gott I haven't changed at all, I'm a monster.. I'm a monster"
" You're NOT a monster, you didn't mean to hurt me you were just angry and wanted to shove me away but I accidentally hit the wall. " I take both his hands to make him stop hurting himself. "Stop doing that, please? I'm so happy you're not sick anymore.. except for a heavy nosebleed or a headache every once in a while, and I know that you may get sick again, but I want you to feel good, even if it's just for a couple of days.. Whatever you've done in the past, you've been punished for it already. You have to live with the memories.. and a brain damage for the rest of your life. That's enough of a punishment, and I'll go crazy if something happens to you"
He finally focuses on me. " I'm so sorry Feliciano"
"It's okay sweetheart, now look what you've done to yourself" I point at the scratches on his arms and it automatically makes me stare at the thick scars on his wrists.
He follows my gaze, getting insecure immediately. "I know, I look like shit"
"Hey, I didn't mean that.. Schmuell why don't you go play in Lovino's room for a while?"
The child nods, grabs some of his toys and goes to Ludwig first. His tiny hands reach up and take Ludwig's hands. "Please Ludwig don't hurt yourself, you should love yourself.. because you're smart and beautiful" Without waiting for Ludwig's reply, Schmuell runs out of the room to my brother's bedroom.
"Schmuell loves you so much , he adores everything about you. Isn't it sweet?"
"Ja, it is. I just don't know how to handle so much love"
I sit down upon his lap, facing him. "But your parents, they loved you right? or your older brother?"
"Ja.. they loved me.. and you love me of course"
Someone's banging the door.. again.
Mr. Vargas' point of view
I hesitantly open the door, surprised to see a young, platina blonde man. He's definitely not an Italian... so he must be a German, but why isn't he wearing his uniform?
" You must be Mr. Vargas, Lovino's father?" The blonde asks, speaking English with a heavy German accent just like Ludwig.
" Yes I am.. Who are you?" Who's this guy? How does he know my name? and Lovino's ?
" My name's Gilbert Beilschmidt, I came to see my little brother .. Ludwig. Can I please come in?"
I don't really want him to come in because it's already dangerous enough to be hiding one German in the house, but the young man's staring at me , begging me with his eyes to let him in. Also he's Ludwig's brother...
" Come in, your brother's upstairs"
" Thank you so much, sir"
I watch him go upstairs, wearing a worried expression.
Gilbert's point of view
I knock the door a few times and wait impatiently. I'm excited to see mein Bruderlein, but I'm also worried about his condition.
" Come in please?"
I sigh nervously and open the door. Mein Bruderlein's on the bed, holding a slender Italian guy's hand.
" Gilbert? What are you doing here!"
Ludwig looks better than the last time I saw him, he's still unbelievably skinny and his arms are covered in scratches, but at least he looks happy this time.
"How did you find out where I am?"
" I got a letter from someone who has been very worried about you.. Someone who's very bad at writing letters.. His name's Lovino. I suppose that's you?" I point at the slender Italian guy who's still holding Ludwig's hand.
" No Lovino's my fratello" The guy states proudly.
" Ah I see.. Anyway, aren't you happy to see the awesome me, Luddy ?"
" Of course I am.. Stop calling me Luddy! Feliciano this is Gilbert, my older brother. Gilbert this is Feliciano , my boyfriend"
Boyfriend? Boyfriend! I feel a pang of jealousy.
" Nice to meet you" I say almost whispering and not really meaning it. Feliciano shakes my hand.
" Ve, nice to meet you too. I've heard a lot about you. But I'll leave the two of you alone for a while"
" Danke" Ludwig and I reply at the same time.
We both watch him going downstairs and I quickly close the small distant between me and mein Bruder and want to wrap my arms around him, but he pushes me away, frowning.
" Why did you betray me?"
" Betray you? I've never betrayed you and I never will. What are you talking about?"
Did he go crazy?
" You told Meier I stole those identification papers and that I rescued the Resistanza member"
" I've never told Meier anything, Ludwig I swear. I didn't like that guy at all and I would never betray you and you know that. You're mein Bruderlein!"
" But you're the only one I told about it.. " Ludwig doesn't seem convinced.
"Then he must have been spying on us.. It makes me very unhappy you think I would betray you.. I go crazy if something happens to you.. Please Ludwig I swear I didn't tell anyone"
" Ok.. I believe you Gilbert"
" Then let me hug you, bitte?"
Ludwig nods and I step closer to him and wrap my arms around him and squeeze tightly, making it almost impossible for him to breath. I inhale the smell of his hair... so sweet, like always.
" Are you coming with me, Bruderlein?"
" Going where?"
" I'm taking you home with me, before it's too late. It's getting more and more dangerous in Italy everyday"
" No way, I won't leave Feliciano on his own !"
Sorry for the abrupt ending, and probably many mistakes.. if there are I will change them later ! I'm in a crisis, lol .. My bf arranged a trip for me and my brother to Berlin and I'm busy packing and I didn't want to let you all wait for this chapter any longer and My God I go crazy! Forgive me for any mistakes , please. and don't forget to review? the 150th reviewer will get a one-shot, don't forget !