Chapter 25: Featuring Arwen

By Elf from Downunder

This chapter features Arwen. I believe this is a first.

25. I am not Legolas Greenleaf, nor am I able to duplicate his stunts

Aragorn and his middle-earth barbie doll (I mean girlfriend), Arwen, were walking hand in hand by the streams in Rivendell, the morning before the Fellowship was set to depart. It was boring, on Aragorn's part, who'd rather upset Erestor by wiping his muddy boots in the halls.

"Oh, Estel! Must you leave me?" Arwen asked, looking at him with teary, crystal blue eyes.

Aragorn sighed. "Yes, Arwen. I have to go save the world and apparently become king. If that's okay with you of course."

"No! It's not okay! What if you don't come back?"

"Then you can marry Legolas!"

"What? Ew, no! He thinks he's prettier than me!" she stamped her foot. "It's not fair!"

She fiddled with the chain of the Evenstar tied on her neck (let's imagine the movie-verse one, where it's fit basically only for a girl).

"Here! I want you to have this! So you can remember me forever and ever!" she held it up in mid-air. Aragorn's eyes widened in fear. "Remember … you? FOREVER!?"

"Yes!" Arwen persisted, shoving it in his chest. "And you have to wear it!"

"But then I'll look like a girl!" he looked frantic. "Here I am, a covered in dirt, badass ranger, wearing a piece of girl's jewellery! Not happening, Arwen!"

It was during such a tense moment for the two love birds, that a shout was heard from above the trees. A small figure, clad in green and brown clothing that looked rather elvish, with neon orange lensed (and oversized) sunglasses and a barbie wig on, was standing upon a branch with an awfully familiar longbow.

"Who in Arda is that!?" Arwen exclaimed, forgetting all the fuss she'd just had with Aragorn.

"I," the voice dramatically called down, doing an over exaggerated hair flip. "am LEGOLAS GREENLEAF!"

"WHAT!?" both half-elf and Dunedaín's mouths dropped.

"YOU'RE NOT LEGOLAS, I AM!" screamed a distressed Legolas, running across the courtyards of Rivendell in but his pyjamas.

"No!" shouted back the voice. "I am! And I shall prove it!"

"That … won't be necessary ..." Aragorn took a step back, dragging Arwen with him for safety reasons. Fearing on what would happen next ...

"PIPPIN! I HATE YOU FOREVER! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! AND GIVE ME BACK MY BOW!" Legolas ran faster, eager to climb up the tree and strangle the Took. Only he collided with a statue and broke his perfect nose. Oh, the shame!

Oh. Thought Aragorn. It's Pippin causing Legolas all this grief ...

With a mere war cry, Pippin (while still holding on to the bow) swung down from the tree on a vine, attempting to do a flip over the stream exactly like our now sobbing Legolas would. Only the vine snapped, and with a shriek the hobbit crashed into Arwen, and both went splashing into the stream.

"OH MY GOSH! I LOST THE EVENSTAR!" Arwen, hair soaked and sparkly dress ruined, was still holding her necklace before she fell in. She gave Pippin a death stare, who still had the wig and glasses on. Oh, and the bow was pretty much broken.

"PIPPIN!" Legolas stood up, hiding his nose with his hand while walking furiously towards the laughing hobbit. "YOU. RUINED. MY. BOW!"

Pippin laughed even harder, climbing to shore and clutching his stomach.

Arwen grabbed his foot and dragged him back in the freezing water, shaking him furiously. "YOU HAVE TO FIND IT! YOU HAVE TO! OR I'LL TELL DADDY AND HE WON'T BE TOO HAPPY!"

Legolas dived in, picking up the wet pieces of his beloved bow. Before grabbing Pippin from behind and attempting to strangle him. At this point in time, Merry, who 'just so happened to be walking by', also dived in to defend his friend. It soon became a full on elf and hobbit brawl.

Aragorn stood motionless, unsure of what to do. "I'll just … go finish my … um, packing for the journey then. Bye Arwen, I … love you …"

A little way away sat Elladan and Elrohir, watching in amusement as their little sister fought the two hobbits and Legolas in the water. The four of them suddenly became blackmailed for life; courtesy of Frodo's camera.

MWAHAHAHAHA BLACKMAIL! XD