Spark of Genius
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy verse, Girl Genius verse, DC comics or any of the other smatterings of pop culture and literary ideas that I refer to in my story, I just tread through a few other sandboxes. Oh, and several names are made up, some are real, but the facts have been changed to protect the corrupt and innocent equally.
AN: This chapter didn't come to me as quickly as the last couple did as I had to do a great deal of planning and research to get things set up. This is by no means a filler chapter, but it does start to answer some questions that had been referred to in earlier chapters while at the same time adding some more fun zaniness to the overall tale of Spark Xander in the DC Universe. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for all the thoughts and statements, I really am using some of them as you will see in this chapter. That said, I still need some ideas of places to go (both real world and dc comic book world) and I need ideas for characters from the DC comic universe to interact with. I'm not really looking for made up characters; there are plenty of 'real' ones and places to go to already in the DC universe, our normal one and the Sunnydale verse so fire away. Cheers!
'Thought'
"Speech"
Chapter 25: Preparing to Travel
"When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money". ~Susan Heller
The news of Sparkbucks closing its doors, and halting coffee sales, until the embargo was removed was met with the gnashing of teeth, weeping, anxious shivering, paranoid delusions, and a sense that the world was at an end; and that was just The Flash's reaction. After administering some heavy sedatives, Wonder Woman was finally able to join the other Justice League members who were meeting.
"Where were you?" Batman growled accusingly at Wonder Woman as she entered the room.
"What do you mean? I've been here all day, which is fortunate for most of you as somebody needed to get you all into the auto-docs and get you healed." She replied with a bit of a frown.
"I just finished sedating The Flash, if you heard the screaming then you know that he just learned that Sparkbucks is shutting all of its doors and halting coffee sales until the Romanian embargo is lifted. I had to use the heavy sedatives again; he burns through the regular stuff too fast with his increased metabolism." Wonder Woman finished as she took her seat.
"By heavy sedatives you mean?" Hawkgirl asked, still wrapped in a heavy towel and with her helmet off so that she could let her hair fully dry.
Wonder Woman cracked her knuckles, "You're better off not knowing." She answered with a bit of a frown. "He was getting a bit delusional in his withdrawal from the caffeine, and he may have mistaken something for extra large sippy-cups of coffee."
The men around the table all cringed for a second, but the Green Lantern finally frowned and decided to bring her back to the topic they were discussing.
"I think Batman meant where were you when we were trying to stop the Leviathan from slaughtering those soldiers. We wouldn't have needed to be healed if you had helped us fight." The Green Lantern stated a bit petulantly.
Wonder Woman turned to focus on the man and paused before replying clearly and concisely, "I will not be responsible for the Amazon nation going to war with the Leviathan and his Empire." Wonder Woman stated with a slight narrowing of her eyes, "Not only am I a member of the Justice League, I am first and foremost the ambassador to Man's world from the Amazons of Paradise Island and Queen Hippolyta. I filed the proper forms in the Justice Leagues computer over a month ago regarding my orders not to interfere with Romania. I will not fight the Leviathan unless I absolutely have to. When I saw you return unconscious but otherwise mostly unharmed, I decided I would be better off staying here to see to your healing. It's a good thing I did; otherwise you all would have been in some serious trouble given the nature of Hawkgirl's hypothermia and J'onn's burns."
"So that's it then, you would allow a murderer to get by simply because your mother told you to? That's where your loyalties lay?" Green Lantern accused Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman sat at the table with her hands leaving slight divots in the table where she was pushing her fingers into the metal. She frowned at the accusation, "You saw the news broadcast. That was a legitimate act of war in retaliation for the attack on the Romanian people, he responded in kind out of a sense of Justice, not Vengeance. It is in line with the tenants of my people. The Amazon people deplore war and all that is part of Ares's sphere of control. However, I, just as any Amazon, would have responded the same way. You don't leave an invading force capable of attacking you again. You either disarm them or behead them if you don't have a choice." The Amazon said with a hint of anger but still a civil tone.
Wonder Woman took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing. "Kasnia has been at war for over a decade, a mistake that we left unsolved and which The Leviathan was forced to deal with if his people were to remain safe. If anything The Leviathan was merciful in that barely any civilians were injured or killed, and the reports are stating that the death tolls are much lower than originally reported. I'd figure that you as a member of the Green Lantern corpse should support his take over, he brought peace to Kasnia after We left it in chaos after We defeated Vandal Savage." Diana stated, drilling home her point by pointing at the people around the table every time she said 'We.'
"The fact that we are partially to blame for the bloodshed that spilled out of Kasnia weighs heavily on my soul." Wonder Woman said with a gesture, her voice showing the caring woman that underlay the hard exterior of a warrior.
"He's a murderer and should have been stopped. You should have been there!" Green Lantern said jumping to his feet and pounding his fist on the desk.
Hawkgirl put out her hand and rested it on John Stewart's arm to get the man to relax and to sit down again.
John, the Green Lantern, wasn't the only person in the room with a temper though, so Wonder Woman snapped back at him, "I disagree. Besides it wasn't like you could have locked him up. He's a legitimate leader of his country in the eyes of the world, even if the Leviathan is a disliked one at the moment. That however is probably going to change, my Mother has already requested that we open talks with The Leviathan regarding opening an embassy in his country and possibly beginning trade." She stated petulantly.
"Really, your mother is going to open negotiations with a being who just single handedly wiped out several thousand troops in a few hours?" Batman debated in his usually growly voice, "I thought your people abhorred war?" The Dark Knight stated, somewhat accusatorily.
Wonder Woman swung to face Batman, "He is a warrior, just as we are! Besides, you have nothing to stand on, I don't remember the report stating that you were there, and don't even get me started on Kal!" She growled and her eyes glinted angrily in the light.
Speak of the figurative devil and he will appear it seemed, for just then a much chagrined Superman floated in the door, "Sorry I'm late. I um, had to deal with Lois." Superman stated with a cringing look, especially when all the heroes turned to frown or glare at him.
"What do you have to say for yourself! Going off and participating in the gross objectification of women when you should have been elsewhere. GRRrrrrrr." Wonder Woman ended her statement by literally growling at Superman.
Superman acted in the better part of valor and decided to sit on the opposite side of the table from Wonder Woman, but not very close to Hawkgirl either as she was looking at him while fingering her mace like she wanted to use it on him.
Clark Kent, aka Superman and better known to the world at the moment as 'The Man of Steel,' rubbed the back of his head in a bit of shame before holding up both hands, "I was there." He stated, looking around at the heroes but not seeing any allies; Batman was giving him the silent stare that so unnerved the thugs and villains of Gotham. "Um, at the fight I mean, not at the brothel. Oh Shit!" Superman stuttered, before ducking under Hawkgirl's mace that flew through the space where his head had just been.
The mace flew through the air and buried itself in the wall behind Clark's seat.
Superman quickly continued his explanation, "Wait wait! I was at the fight; only by the time I got there The Leviathan wasn't alone. I got nailed in the back by Black Adam." Kal tried to explain.
"Black Adam was with you at the brothel also!" Hawkgirl yelled in disgust, misinterpreting the words of Superman due to her anger.
Clark's eyes got large when he realized what he had said; he quickly started waving his hands in front of his face, "No no! Black Adam nailed me in the back with magic!" He said, his explanation not helping at all as both female heroes got out of their chairs and started moving forward with the intent of doing Superman grave bodily harm if possible.
Superman's eyes only got larger as he quickly noticed two things: One, he still hadn't explained clearly; and two, Neither Bruce nor John were going to come to his rescue. Both of two other male heroes were apparently smart enough not to try and tangle with Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl in their current states of mind.
Superman then engaged in a dose of Super-Willow-babble to save his life, or at least his manhood, from the two women, "I Was At The Fight But Black Adam Blasted Me With Magic While The Leviathan Distracted Me! I Woke Up At The Brothel! Not The Face!" Superman stated, the sight of the pissed off ladies being enough to even scare the almost invulnerable Kryptonian to put his hands in front of his face; though he probably should have been protecting his Kryptonian jewels.
Both Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl stopped and looked at the cringing Superman, before looking at each other. Then with a "Humph" they turned on their heels and moved back to their chairs to sit.
Superman realized he wasn't going to get hit and started to relax a bit, looked around, and finally returned to his chair.
It was quiet for a moment, before the up till now silent Martian Manhunter phased back into visibility and spoke, "I did not see Black Adam, though I was aware of you stating that you were on your way right before I was incapacitated. How did I get back to the Watchtower if you were knocked unconscious Kal?" Jonn Jonn'z asked.
Kal El was glad for the change of subject, and quickly replied, "Right before I hit the Leviathan I saw you disappear in a flash of light. I assumed The Leviathan had transported you somewhere, but I didn't know where. By the time I got there the rest of you were nowhere in sight." Superman explained, hoping they were moving on to better topics; ones that wouldn't leave him getting in any more trouble.
"You all appeared in the medical clinic in flashes of yellow light." Wonder Woman explained, before quirking her head to the side and thinking out loud, "It appears that The Leviathan can modulate the color frequency of his teleporter array." She muttered contemplatively.
It was the Green Lantern turn to be chagrinned now, "Yes, we noticed. Right before he broke through my energy constructs he flashed yellow."
"Hmmm, and when he appeared before the United Nations his transporter color was red, while the Grey Knight's color was blue. Interesting." Batman stated his thoughts out loud as he rubbed his chin.
The Martian Manhunter turned to Batman and asked, "What is it my friend? I recognize that tone of voice?"
Batman was quiet for a moment, "Nothing yet, but I'll have to talk to The Question first to see if he has remembered anything." Batman replied as he looked at the table. Looking back at the green Martian, Batman questioned, "Have you been able to help The Question pull up any memories of his time in Romania?"
J'onn Jonn'z shook his head in the negative, "No, I am sorry but it looks like he doesn't remember anything from his time in Romania. Other than the normal confusing images in The Question's mind, every time I ask him about what he learned in Romania an image of Wonder Woman and other female heroes playing ping pong or volleyball with The Question's head comes to mind. I've never seen such a mental representation before." The Martian answered with a quirk of his head. Before the Manhunter could explain further Superman's communicator started to ring loudly.
Clark picked it up, and his face immediately went pale.
"Who is it? Is it an emergency?" The Green Lantern quickly stated, standing up in his chair.
All the heroes swung to focus intensely on Superman.
"Um, no, but um, I've got to go." Superman stated as he slowly got out of his chair.
"What's wrong?" Batman demanded giving Superman a dark glare.
Superman rubbed the back of his neck shyly, and didn't look at the eyes of the other heroes. He didn't really know how to say it, so he just said what came to his mind, "Um, well Lois was watching the news when the report about me at the brothel came on…" He started.
Immediately all the guys in the room cringed, even the normally sedate Martian and Batman.
"Yeah…" Superman continued, "Um, J'onn, would you please take me off world duty roster until I let you know… I um, I'm supposed to stay around Metropolis for the time being." Superman stated, continuing to rub the back of his neck.
At that very moment, Plastic-Man walked by the door to the meeting room singing the song to Rawhide. As the Gumby-like hero strolled past the meeting room he yelled, "Keep them doggies rolling! Whappish!" He punctuated his singing by making the sounds of snapping whips by transforming his arms into whips.
It was purely by accident, but the whipped sounds made Superman turn a bit pink with a blush. His communicator went off again and his eyes got big.
"Ok Bye! Got to go!" Kal El quickly stated, and Superman was gone, faster than a speeding bullet.
The other heroes looked at each other, and all three of the usually stoic male heroes actually cracked smiles; smiles that cleared from their faces quickly enough to be gone by the time the women looked away from where Superman had just fled and back to the men.
"Now where were we?" questioned Batman.
Wonder Woman turned to look at Batman, and questioned, "No, where were you when they were fighting? You were quick to round on me, but where were you?" She asked pointedly.
Batman turned to look at the Amazonian, and slowly replied, "The Joker is still on the loose and I need to catch him before he can set off his next surprise." Batman explained.
All of the heroes nodded.
Suddenly a loud girlish scream of absolute agony rent the air. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The voice echoed from outside the meeting room and throughout the station.
Everybody cringed before quickly hopping up.
"No worries." Wonder Woman replied with a huff and a sigh as she stood up, "It's just time for The Flash to be sedated again. I'll bring up the purple ray tomorrow to help with the withdrawal symptoms." She explained, cracking her knuckles as she walked out of the room.
A loud 'thud' sound was heard a few moments later, and the ear splitting screech finally stopped as all the heroes cringed.
Whether from the cringe was from the scream or from the use of 'sedative,' nobody was willing to say. They might be brave heroes, but none of them were stupid enough to question Wonder Woman's bedside manner.
The time after Xander's message to the world and the revival of the 'mostly dead' had pretty much been spent with a quick bite to eat followed by the Kalderish Clan being led to a suite of rooms in the Castle while Xander too retired for the night. His body still required sleep after all of the day's happenings. No matter how powerful his combined natural and technological healing factor was, Xander was still human; well mostly at least.
By the time Xander woke up and the sun rose over the mountain peaks surrounding his castle, Igor and several select minions were already there to bring Xander up to date on the response from the world.
All evening and night long, messages of support were flowing in from around the world and Xander's intelligence networks were kept in high swing as they charted the reaction from the world leaders.
Over all the response was overwhelmingly positive towards dropping the embargos, but there were a few naysayers; mostly dictators that were worried that The Leviathan could swing it somehow to take over their countries as well.
Still, those dictators and world leaders who had initially said negative things to the Leviathan's report were quickly being shouted down by the masses of caffeine starved individuals. Apparently, the combination of Xander's Spark laden speech had combined with the lack of readily available caffeine to swamp the world's markets and bureaucracies. The demand for the world's officials and leaders to do something was at an all time high, a high that was only matched by the lowest production of activity in recent history as the very bureaucrats who were responsible for pushing through the change in legislation were falling asleep on the job. Throughout the night the news was rolling in regarding the drop in the economic markets as the true fuel of industry, caffeine, was cut off.
First there was a run on the grocery markets for the remaining Sparkbucks coffee, but when the supply was tapped out people turned to other remedies. This is when the full extent of the calamity struck as Xander had created Operation Cold Turkey with the goal of ceasing all caffeine production in the world.
On top of the fact that Xander's coffee company had cornered the coffee market and bought up ninety eight percent of the world's coffee bean supply, mysterious accidents happened at the manufacturing and packaging plants of the world's largest soda pop factories, tea leaf processors, and rival coffee producers; shutting off power or key machines which were needed to increase cola production. On top of that, transportation of the needed carbonic acid for Coca-Cola and other main ingredients for caffeinated beverages was delayed or canceled when it was found that the trucks that were needed to move the industrial products were unavailable, broken down, or suddenly out of gas in the middle of nowhere. It was the perfect storm that just 'happened' to strike the world just when Operation Cold Turkey was taking effect.
The impact was breath taking, as the gross national product of every country in the world took a hit as its workers couldn't get themselves to wake up.
Xander couldn't have done it by himself, not at all. Xander had only created the basic structure of the plan and his minions had taken it upon themselves to run it to the full extreme that it was currently. In fact, had Xander been concentrating on just what chaos he had reaped in the world he would have been a bit horrified, but that's why Igor didn't hassle his Master with the minutia necessary to the fulfillment of the Heterodyne's goals. A true Master Minion just followed out his Master's orders to the nth degree and just went overboard when the master didn't put any limits on what they wanted. Basically, Xander should have been very specific when he commanded the initiation of Operation Cold Turkey, but what Xander didn't know could hurt the world.
Either way, the minions and Romanian citizens under Xander's leadership were taking up a good portion of the burden of running the country and Xander's endeavors. The trained diplomats, who had enough political knowledge and education uploaded into them to make Machiavelli run in fear, were dealing with the United Nations and the communications with the world's leaders.
At the same time as the diplomats were going about their work in the official channels, the international intelligence network Xander had set up fed Xander's diplomats and military commanders the inside scoop on the behind the scenes; it was amazing what information a politician was willing to give up for the offer of a hot cup of coffee. While the world outside of Xander's Montana Valley and European countries went seemingly insane, things in Xander's Empire were humming right along.
Things in Kasnia were moving smoothly, the doctors were setting up clinics and healing the injured and sick while Xander received another half a million loyal Jägers who had formerly been the infirmed and elderly too old or feeble for Xander's nano-clank injections to heal. At the same time that the healing was going on, Xander's little clanks and nano-clank swarms were spreading throughout the country; harvesting the hazards left over from the decades' long war and remaking the infrastructure of Kasnia to help further the goals of industrial growth. The same recycling and anti-pollution technology that was now present in Romania was extended into Kasnia, and the small country was connected through multiple redundant power lines to Xander's main power plants.
The work of educating, feeding, and growing Kasnia to match the affluence of Romania was carried out by Xander's minions and already trained Romanian subjects; thus leaving Xander time to deal with the Kalderish and tidying up things so that Xander could take a break from all the bloodshed and empire management.
'Hopefully I can take a break after this and that Lady luck and her friend Murphy won't mess with me for a while.' Xander thought to he finished putting on his Hawaiian shirt and mentally called for a portal to open in his room. 'Just have to deal with a couple of things first, and if my idea works, I can knock a couple of birds out of the sky with one stone; or a lot of birds and one corporate executive.' Xander finished thinking, a brief evil smile flashing across his face before it turned into just a friendly one. It had been too long since Xander had a chance to just hang out with Alec.
"How are things going Alec?" Xander questioned as he finished teleporting into one of the hollowed out mountain ecosystems; this one being a large forested region similar to the giant redwood forests of northern California.
Alec Holland, the green yet now very human looking 'Swamp Thing,' turned towards where Xander had just appeared and smiled before standing up and brushing his leather work pants off; the dirt on Alec's pants being absorbed by the mixture of plant matter and nano-clanks that made up the Swamp Thing's human looking body.
"Hey Xander. It's going well. How's do you like what I've done with the place?" Alec replied in greeting while gesturing with a bare green arm to point around them at the small clearing with the towering trees ringing it. Alec was barefooted and wasn't wearing a shirt, preferring to let the sunlight hit his upper body for purposes of photosynthesis while his feet gathered nutrients from the rich dirt underneath. After all, it wasn't like he could really get cold given the nature of what made up the elemental's body.
Xander looked around the clearing, noticing the thick fern and moss growth on the lower levels of the ground and the towering trees around them. It reminded Xander of something out of the movie Jurassic Park or the massive redwood forests that he had read about in school back in Sunnydale.
Turning to Alec Xander nodded along to his statement, "Looks pretty good Alec, it's amazing how you've been able to get it to grow to a point of an old growth forest in such a short period of time. What are these trees, redwoods?" Xander mentioned as he walked up to one of the trees and examined the bark of it.
Alec's smile got larger at the statement, "Nope." The nature elemental said with a smirk, "You're looking at some of the famous Cedars of Lebanon brought back into existence." Alec quipped before waving for Xander to follow him. "If you think these are impressive, come on over through here." The Swamp 'Man' stated.
Xander followed Alec's lead through a gap in the trees and walked for a few minutes, just enjoying the sounds of nature as birds chirped and insects hummed in the hidden ecosystem beneath the mountain. Finally after a little over a minute of walking through the large cedar trees Xander came upon a gigantic trunk, large enough to fit a house or two inside it if it were to be hollowed out.
Xander's jaw dropped, and he gazed up, and up, and up before the giant trunk disappeared above the canopy of cedar trees. Stunned, Xander turned to Alec, "Dear god man, what the hell is this?"
Alec just smirked before answering smugly. "Well, with so much room in the center of the hollowed out dome I didn't think it was worth wasting the space, so I worked with the genes of the trees to find their ancient ancestors." Alec said as he walked up and patted the sturdy trunk of the gigantic tree.
Turning back to look at Xander, Alec continued, "This my friend is the great granddaddy of the forest, the type of giant trees that would have been around if the dinosaurs and all life a million years ago hadn't been pretty much destroyed by that giant asteroid. This guy has about another thirty brothers and sisters in the forest, and frankly Xander I owe it all to you." The former Swamp Thing said with a smile before walking back to join Xander in staring up at the huge tree. "I always wanted to help bring back some of the great things that were lost, but I would never have gotten the chance if I tried to do this out in the open. Somebody would have cut it down or tried to destroy it just because." Alec told Xander.
Xander was simply agog at the big trees, but then a goofy smile came across his face. "That would make an awesome tree house." Xander joked, "Only thing it's missing are a bunch of Ewoks." He finished.
Alec scrunched up his eyebrows and looked at the ground for a second before back at the tree, then turned to Xander. "What's an Ewok?" The nature elemental asked.
Xander turned to look at Alec quizzically, "Ewok, you know. Small fury creature that lives in a tree?" Xander stated, the complete look of utter confusion greeting him from Alec's face.
Xander turned away from the tree to look completely face Alec, "Dude, I know you lived in a swamp, but surely you know about Ewoks, Star Wars… the movie Star Wars?" Xander questioned, his face confused that Alec didn't recognize the movie.
Alec continued to look puzzled at Xander. "Nope, no clue."
"But the movies came out in the 70's and early 80's. Surely you didn't miss out on the classic movies did you?" Xander asked, a bit horrified.
"Sorry Xander, I have no clue what you're talking about." Alec replied with a shake of his head.
Xander sighed, "Ok, well that's weird. I'll have to ask somebody to see if we have copies of the movies back at the castle. Perhaps we can have a guys night, drink caffeinated beverages, eat popcorn and watch the movies." Xander finished with a shrug before remembering why he had originally come looking for Alec.
"Oh hey, not to jump right back into business, but I was talking with the Kalderish Clan about getting some justice against the man who was primarily responsible for the invasion and the death of those civilians. Part of that plan requires making some living molecules that could work hand in hand with my nano-clanks, do you think you could help out with that?" Xander questioned, and then went on to explain a bit more, "I've got a bunch of scientists working on it for a couple of plans of mine, but it would be a great help if you could give it a jumpstart or work a bit of your nature mojo."
Alec shrugged before replying, "Sure, I don't see why not. Are you still having that dinner tonight that Tara sent me an invitation to? Something about plans and going forward or whatnot?"
Xander smiled and nodded, "Yep. Pizza party in the palace… or whatever food they cook." Xander quipped before adding, "Really though, the head of the Kalderish Clan brought up some good ideas, and I wanted all of my closest friends there to talk through what we should do next. It's been brought to my attention that I've been flying by the seat of my pants a bit too much and that I'm getting a bit unbalanced." Xander mentioned the last part while looking away and rubbing the back of his neck.
Alec smirked, "What do you mean by 'getting?' My friend, your sanity ship left the port a long time ago." The more jovial version of the Swamp Thing stated, laughing at his friend.
Xander turned a mock hurt look at Alec, "Hey! I'm not crazy." Xander responded, only to have Alec raise an eyebrow at Xander along with a smirk.
"Ok, so maybe the voices in my head and the weird stuff I come up with aren't of the sane, but at least nobody gets bored around me." Xander stated with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye.
"Ha!" Alec laughed, "That's for sure." Alec said slapping Xander on the back before turning to move back towards the trees, "I'll see you tonight. Send me the details of which lab they are working on the experiments and I'll stop by tomorrow." The Swamp Thing stated, before point a hand at the ground and raising it, causing a new fern to sprout from the base of a tree and then quickly grow into a fully formed plant that rose to Xander's shoulders. With that, Alec Holland, the Swamp 'Man' waved and disappeared into the trees.
Xander took a look around at the clearing and enjoyed the peaceful sounds of the forest that returned as soon as Xander and Alec had stopped speaking. Taking a deep breath, Xander let it out slowly, just enjoying the fresh smell of the earth, trees and plants around him.
'This is really nice and peaceful.' Xander thought to himself as he enjoyed the moment of stillness. 'Maybe there is something to this idea of taking a break from the hustle and bustle and getting away from this empire management thing for a while.' Xander pondered.
'Hey! Just so long as you don't take a break from working on that Harem.' A little voice quipped in the back of Xander's head. 'I'm warning you, get working on that Harem or you'll be waking up drooling on top of a new doomsday weapon!' The voice of Xander's libido threatened.
'Hey, quiet from the peanut gallery.' Xander snarked back at himself before thinking. 'God I have got to get laid, I'm getting so pent up that my own subconscious is threatening me. Alec was right, I am insane.'
'Yeah wise guy, see, ya get us some girls and nobody gets hurt… yeah. Capiche?' The voice of a 1920's mobster said in the back of Xander's head. Xander just shook his head in reply, trying to get the few screws loose in his head to shut up.
Xander palmed his face.
"God I need a vacation." Xander said to himself, and then stepped into a transporter portal.
Xander exited the portal into one of the rooms where the Gypsies were examining some of the magical artifacts that Xander had 'acquired' when he took over Dracula's castle and cleaned out Arcane Manor.
Xander stepped out of the portal and immediately yelled a greeting, "Hey there, how's it going AHHHH!" Xander ended up dodging as a bright blue solid beam of energy that shot through where his head had just been.
Xander turned to watch where the beam had struck and saw that the wall behind him had immediately frosted over in ice. Turning around wide eyed, Xander looked to where Magda was examining a golden rod stuck in a blue crystalline box.
Magda just looked at Xander blank faced before turning around to discuss with the lab tech who was taking notes and two other gypsies that had been helping her, "As I was saying, as long as nothing comes along to startle us, this device can be moved, but once discharged it freezes itself to the ground at its location and will continue to channel the forces of deep winter." With that Magda and the techs took a step back from the device as another beam of blue magic zapped another wall, icing over that wall as well. The party of researchers all turned to look at Xander.
Xander looked at them, a bit of a blush coming to his cheeks and he shrugged and held his hands palms up, "Um… oops?" Xander smiled, and the tech and gypsies all just smirked at him.
Xander, the tech, and the gypsies watched as the artifact went about systematically freezing the walls and ceiling of the room before the crystal at its base started leaking ice along the floor. A second beam hit the ceiling and snow started to precipitate and fall around the room.
Xander just shook his head before stating, "Well, we could always use a perpetually cold room to test out some of our gear. Just close it up and we'll deal with this later. Magda, could you come with me, we need to chat about some of those preparations and thinking ahead that you suggested; not to mention that little bit of revenge we are planning." Xander completed with his patented 'I'm-planning-something-dastardly' smile.
The tech bowed to Xander, seeing as the tech was actually a minion from New Mechanicsburg, while the two gypsies who Xander didn't know left the room with the tech. Magda carefully walked over to Xander so as not to slide on the icy floor.
"Does your plan look like it will work?" Magda asked as she came to Xander's side. Xander gave the old woman his elbow to hold, and signaled for a portal to open up to another part of the Castle.
"Yes, I just spoke with Alec and he thinks he can basically work with his power to help us make the form that we need. I thought about using a biological construct, but don't think we would have the control over it we need to get what we want done." Xander replied as he escorted Magda through the portal and into a room of computers and screens that were being 'manned' by Tara, Dora, and Janna Kalderish.
"Hello ladies." Xander greeted with a smile before continuing to explain to Magda, "As I was saying Magda, we already have the building blocks we need from helping Alec create his human form and functioning body. Now, if we can just take that first step and expand on it with a combination of Alec's powers and my science we should be ready to strike back at Luthor." Xander smirked before leading Magda to a chair.
Madga nodded in understanding and thanked Xander for the escort before Xander turned and faced the giant screen that took up one wall of the room. Four holographic computer stations sat in front of the main screen. The back of the room was one giant supercomputer that spanned the length of the room and actually took up the room directly behind this one as well. Given the nature of Xander's technology and ability to shrink technology, which meant this was one 'kick ass and take names' computer.
"Good morning Janna, Tara, Dora, how are you lovely ladies today?" Xander asked with a debonair smile.
The ladies all smirked at each other before turning back to Xander. "Good morning Xander/Master." They chorused, Janna referring to Xander by name but Tara and Dora chiming in with Xander's title.
A little trickle of fear quivered up Xander's spine at the smiles that the three young ladies were giving Xander. But Xander merely smiled back, 'Never understood women before, won't be able to start now.' Xander thought to himself.
Xander's smile merged into a determined look and with it he started pacing back and forth. A moment passed as the women in the room watched Xander pace back and forth before Xander began to speak.
"I've done a lot of thinking and self debate on what Elder Woman Kalderish stated regarding planning ahead, hence the reason we are all here." Xander stated, looking to the side and nodding to Magda when he mentioned her name. "What we are going to spend the day doing is starting to dig into all of the knowledge that I have of this world and start making some contingency plans." Xander explained as he reached the apex of his trodden path and turned to walk the other direction.
"We are just waiting for Igor…" Xander began, but as soon as he mentioned it a portal opened and Igor sedately stepped into the room and nodded to Xander before Igor took a seat next to Magda.
"Good, as I was saying, we are going to start discussing what I know about this world and figure out where to go from here so that we don't suffer like we did yesterday." Xander mentioned, giving a sorry look to Magda and Janna Kalderish which received understanding silent nods in return.
Xander continued to pace back and forth, the other people in the room looking like they were watching a tennis match as they followed his path from one side of the room and back to the other.
Finally Xander stopped in the middle of the room and addressed those gathered. "First things first, I don't know which universe of what I knew as DC Comics and cartoons this is. The reason I've chosen you all to help is that of all of the people who I work with and care for, you are the only ones besides Alec who know who I am and where I come from. That said, we need information and we need to compile what information I have in my head to see what we can plan in advance for or at least have a contingency mapped out before we are hit with another crisis." Xander explained, speaking while gesturing with his hands to really drill his point home.
The others in the room nodded along in understanding to Xander's points.
Xander turned slightly to focus on his main minion, "Igor, do you know if Bob has gotten RedTree ready for launch?"
Rather than Igor answering, Bob interjected, "Xander, RedTree is ready. All you have to do is wake her up and get her going and we should be good."
Xander nodded in reply, knowing that Bob was monitoring the room. Xander then turned and stuck his hand on an interface panel that was on the large supercomputer behind him.
"YAAAaawwwnnn, smack smack." The sounds of a teenage girl waking up and yawning came over the speakers as the screen in the front of the room flashed and the image of a red headed girl's head appeared; the face, hair and eyes were made from streams of colored ones and zeros that flickered down the screen to create a computerized face of Xander's friend Willow.
Xander's smile grew large across his face, "Good morning Red, did you have a good nap?" Xander questioned.
The image on the screen blinked her eyes several times and seemed to look around the room before focusing on Xander, "Xander! It's good to see you. How are you doing today?" The voice of Willow came out of the speakers around the room.
"Good Red. You ready to do an imitation of Daedalus from Deus Ex and take over the electronic information flow of the world?" Xander smirked as he looked up at the computerized image of his friend Willow. Xander had formed the personality off of Willow, as in Xander's book Willow was the hacker extraordinaire. Given the resources that Xander had put into RedTree, she would by far be the fastest and most powerful computer in the world and pretty much able to hack into any system that wasn't of alien design; at least if that system was connected to a phone line or the internet.
Red gave a big grin before saying, "Already doing it. I should be into the Batcomputer within the next couple minutes and I'm already hacked into Cadmus's mainframe. Those idiots really should learn to have stand alone systems for this type of stuff. Top secret information my tushy." Red snipped before grinning at Xander.
Xander smiled with his hand still on the computer interface. "That's my girl! Go get em Red." Xander quipped before turning his head to address the girls sitting before their computers. "Janna, I'm putting you in charge of delving into the information on Lexcorp and Lex Luthor. Show me the money Janna." Xander smiled a bloodthirsty smile that was mirrored by Janna and Magda.
Xander then turned to address Tara and Dora, "And my two lovely ladies, I'll be uploading my knowledge here in a second, and I want you to cross reference what has happened in this world with what information I put into the system."
Both Tara and Dora nodded before turning around and bringing up databases of world events pulled directly from government files from around the world as well as the electronic databases and online repositories of the Daily Planet, GNN, and other major news sources around the world. Information was pulled from University servers from around the world as well as from the networks of internet providers; and soon a timeline of events was being populated that flowed off of Tara's screen and onto Dora's as they arranged the events that had happened in the world, dating back to B.C. times.
Xander turned back to face the supercomputer and closed his eyes, opening his mind's knowledge to be copied into RedTree. In that instant of communing with the mind of RedTree, Xander had a flash back memory of times gone by when Willow had helped Xander with math or science homework.
Back then in Sunnydale, before Halloween had hit Xander with the Spark of genius, Xander had felt that he was a small fry compared to the smarts of Willow. In that instant of communing with RedTree, Xander felt almost the same as back then, for as his memories of comic books, Batman cartoons, Justice League Unlimited, and other DC comic related knowledge flowed from his mind and into the databanks of RedTree he felt the sheer size and mass of knowledge that RedTree was sorting through as she examined the world's internet, email, and digital communications and sifted through it for the kernels of information that would help Xander succeed. It took a second, and then all of Xander's comic book and cartoon knowledge was completely copied over to the computer system.
Xander opened his eyes and looked up at the big screen.
"Computing, give me a second Xander and I'll have it up for you." Red said with a smile before biting her digital lip in concentration. A second later the massive image of Willow's digital head shrunk to take up a small corner of the large screen and a dateline sprawled up on the screen.
Xander stared up at the screen and realized that he wasn't in any one universe of DC comics that he recognized.
"Hmmm, there's the invasion of those aliens that led to the creation of the Justice League." Xander stated as he walked closer to the screen and read off what he was seeing.
"Thangarians haven't invaded yet there are a lot more heroes in the league already." Xander said as he mentally ordered his Nano-clanks to transmit commands to the computers around him, ordering the screen to briefly flash focus in on specific instances in the history of this world.
"Already knew about the taking of Kahndaq by Black Adam… Natural catastrophes look to be the same as my home world plus a few." Xander said as he stroked his chin in thought. The screen focused out again and then in on some of the details regarding Superman.
"Here's where Darkseid brainwashed Superman into invading the world, and I see from the Cadmus database that it's when they started planning for ways to combat the Justice League… Wow, Dr. Amanda Waller is a certifiable crackpot if she thinks some of these are a good idea to unleash on the world. Really, Super-Nazi serum? Are she and the General Wade Eiling nuts? Damn-it." Xander casually stated as he continued to read.
"Xander! Language." RedTree snapped.
Xander smirked a bit chagrinly and shrugged, "Sorry Red. Anyway, I'm seeing here that Superman has not faced Doomsday yet but it says here that LexCorp is slated to dig deeper at that alien archeology site, so we really need to be ready for that. Don't want to go through all that crap with the death of Superman again, those comic books were just plain confusing for a while there and not to mention the whole mongul thing." Xander muttered before causing the screen to focus back out again.
"Teen Titans look to be battling forces that I recognize as being from the HIVE and I think I could help Cyborg out a bit and still not give away a bunch of our tech." Xander casually replied as he focused in on Jump City in California and the details surrounding the villains located there.
"But see here." Xander stated pointing to Gotham, "Here is another change from what I'm used to being in any one universe. See where the information from the Batcomputer is stating that Ra's al Ghul tried to destroy Gotham with some Waynetech super weapon and diffused hallucinogenic in the water supply? That was the plot for a movie that was going to come out in my world and not in any of the traditional comic books or cartoons, but others of these things happened just as if they were strait from one of the cartoons or a comic book." Xander continued, now frowning.
"DAMNIT!" Xander spat in frustration before cringing and quickly apologizing to the image of Red that was frowning at Xander's use of curse words.
"Sorry about that, it's just that this dimension seems to pick and chose or vary from one DC universe to another, taking a bit from one before something that happened in another universe happens. Shi-oot…" Xander quickly changed his curse word to a milder phrase when he saw the image of Red give him the 'determined' face.
"Ah, what I meant was that it looks like we are going to have to pull a Batman and create a contingency for everything we could think of from Darkseid's invasion, to look here, Supergirl isn't here yet and I don't know if she will be in this universe or not." Xander stated, pointing things out on the timeline before mentally calling up a map of the world that was being created by Xander's miniature clanks and the information being funneled in from Xander's Sparkbucks intelligence centers.
"There in the Bermuda triangle." Xander pointed to a position. "Send up an Nth metal infused clank into space above that, I want a view of Themyscira." Xander quipped, and a minute later the clank was in geosynchronous orbit floating over the Bermuda triangle.
A picture popped up on the screen of an island that appeared out of the sea where none had been scene before. "Zoom in please." Xander commanded, and the image zoomed in until the image of Greek pillars, temples and arenas were in view along with little ant sized Amazons.
Again, Xander experienced an instance when he should have been more specific as the image continued to focus in until he was looking into the bathing pool of the palace, and a very naked Queen Hippolyta was seen to be bathing and dripping with water as she pulled herself out of the bathing pool.
Xander's face went red and his blood pressure shot up. "Zoom out! Zoom out!" Xander squeaked.
Fortunately the image quickly panned back out to show the world view, but the girls and Magda all turned and smirked at Xander while Igor raised an eyebrow; there may have been a hint of a smile on the master minion's face as well.
"Ahem, ok um." Xander said, looking down from the screen for a second and rubbing his neck. "Uh, where was I." Xander questioned when looking up at the screen and quickly changing the subject.
"Let's look up at the north pole, I want ground penetrating radar bouncing off of the ice, let me know if we get any weird feedback." Xander ordered, and the girls all turned their smirking looks silently back to their computer consoles and the screen at the front of the room.
The image of almost a sonar ping was rendered on the map and at one spot it was seen to relay that the ground was flat when the image was telling Xander that there was an visible picture of a hill portrayed to the eyes of his satellite clanks.
"There!" Xander smirked and pointed to the screen, "That's Superman's Fortress of Solitude." Xander stated. "Mark that, and we will see about paying a visit sometime in the future." Xander finished, a mad gleam coming to his eyes as he thought of all the science he could 'borrow' from the Kryptonian technology that was hidden in the fortress; not to mention the DNA samples he could get from Superman's zoo.
'Mental note, bring lots of dog treats incase I run into Krypto.' Xander thought for a second before focusing back on the screen.
Quickly pointing out things on the map Xander stated, "There are a ton of cities that I'm not familiar with from my world, the whole coast of California is changed." Xander gestured towards the west coast of the United States and trying to locate where Sunnydale was, but noticing Coast City taking up a section near where Sunnydale should have been.
"The sensor tech is picking up several large dome like protrusions on the bottom of the Ocean here near the trench and underwater mountains in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, and I'm seeing some ruined cities here in the Sahara Desert as well as here in Greenland and some other places in Africa." Xander said pointing around the map a bit more at other places. "I know Gorilla City should be in the middle of the Congo if it exists in this world." Xander stated before Dora interjected.
"Xander, I'm seeing instances of Gorilla Grodd tangling with the Justice League, so it's probably safe to assume Gorilla City does exist." The blonde beauty stated with a smile at Xander.
Xander smiled at Dora, "Good point Dora. Nice job cutie." He stated, and watched as the smiling Dora shivered and then smiled back up at Xander adoringly and with a bit of a blush on her face.
'Thank you Lady Luck.' Xander silently stated, right before a little voice in the back of his head started chanting, 'Harem, Harem Harem!'
Xander smiled and turned his attention towards Asia and the Middle East. "Looks like Qurac is over here, and Bialya." Xander stated before turning a quizzical look to Igor.
"Igor, has the Queen Bee Zazzala and her slaver drones attacked earth yet? We don't want an incident like the 'Other' happening here in this universe like it did in the Heterodynes' main dimension." Xander questioned.
Igor looked down at his data pad before answering Xander, "No sir, there has not been an incursion of anything like slaver wasps or an insect queen like the Other in this world. Shall I prepare a contingency plan?" The chief minion responded a dark grin starting to grow over the minions face.
Xander's evil smile matched his minion's, "Absolutely, let Da Boy'z know that they might get some slaver wasp pie after all." Xander replied, and his minion nodded in agreement.
Xander then turned back to the map and focused it in on India, Pakistan, China and the Tibetan plateau.
"There." Magda interrupted, "My vision tells me that you must go there on your journey." She stated and pointed to a place high in the mountains on the border between the People's Republic of China and Nepal.
Xander stared at the point on the map quizzically and focused it in only to find that there was nothing there but snow and mountain peaks. "Ping it with the sensors and put an Nth metal satellite over it." Xander ordered, thinking that maybe the nth metal based sensors were needed to pick up something hidden by magic.
A moment later a digital representation of the 'ping' was seen to ripple across the location as shown on Xander's map, yet still nothing appeared.
"Hmmm, Well I don't really know what is there but I have a few ideas regarding some lost cities of Shangri-la or something similar, but I guess I'll just have to go there." Xander said with a shrug and turned to Magda.
"Bunică Kalderish, what did your vision state about this place?" Xander questioned with a raised eyebrow as he crossed his arms across his chest to listen.
Magda Kalderish, Elder of Clan Kalderish seemed to stare through the image of the map on the screen before slowly stating, "You will leave on your journey tomorrow, and you will go alone. You will walk or run the first portion, and you will know when it is time to fly or travel." The Old woman said before turning her white eyes to Xander. "Other than that I cannot tell, but I do know that you will be better off for the growth of the travel." Magda finished with a slight gesture of her hand to suggest that the rest was up to Xander.
Xander was quiet and uncrossed one of his arms to stroke his chin in thinking before taking a big sigh.
"Ok, I hate this fate or prophesy crap, but I'll take your words under advisement." Xander said before taking a big breath and letting it out as plans and counter plans went through his head. "I'll see if I can leave tomorrow afternoon, but first we will finish the contingency plans and then its dinner. Following that its movie night with popcorn, caffeine and Star Wars." Xander finished, a smile growing across his face at the last part.
Everybody in the room stared back at Xander quizzically, finally Janna raised a question. "What's Star Wars?" She asked.
Xander stared at her and furrowed his brows. "What, you can't tell me that you all don't know about Star Wars?" He stated before looking around at the still befuddled looks that greeted him.
"Wait, you all didn't recognize the armor for the Dark Troopers as being from Star Wars?" Xander said looking around at his adopted family from this new universe, but only got blank looks.
"Ewoks? Jedi's? Light sabers?" Xander questioned, and Xander's audience all looked at each other before shaking their heads in the negative. Even Red looked with confusion at Xander from her screen before replying.
"Xander, there is no such thing as Star Wars in this world, unless you are speaking about an eighties military project by the United State's President Regan that didn't do anything but cause the Soviets to sink money into countering a non-existent missile shield program?" The computerized voice of Willow answered.
Xander looked stunned, but then a creepy look came across his face. "Heh heh, no Star Wars? No George Lucas in this universe… bwa ha ha ha. BWA HA HA HA HA! WA HA HA HA HA!" Xander cackled madly and a crazy gleam came to his eye as an insane smile split Xander's face.
"Bob!" Xander yelled, "Grab the focusing ruby from the armor and get me a miniature sun the size of a marble and the miniaturized dyson sphere designs while you're at it! Bwa Ha ha ha ha ha." Xander ordered before storming towards the door of the room and disappearing out it.
Xander's friends all stared at each other and their raised eyebrows seemed to be communicating the unspoken message of "Xander will be Xander."
Suddenly Xander ducked his head back into the room, the mad gleam still in his eye, "Oh, sorry about that. If you wouldn't mind continuing with the contingency plans, that would be great. Steal Batman's for starters and add on from there." Xander stated with his big smile still on his face.
"Red, feel free to leave a message for Batman that the Grey Knight told him to erase the plans and then delete them from his computer, I'm off to build a light saber. WA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Xander finished with a cackle, and his head disappeared out the door.
With that the sound of Xander's chilling laughter echoed throughout the castle, and Igor sent out orders for spare parts and for the medical center to stay on alert.
Igor didn't know what this 'light saber' was, but something told the Chief Minion that the castle would be in need of some repairs sometime soon.
AN: Another chapter down, what fun. Xander gets a light saber, Wa ha ha ha ha. Um, sorry about that, the madness is contageous. Well, I hope you enjoyed it, let me know your thoughts.
Poll still open: I need ideas for places for Xander to wander around the world, can be a real city in our universe, the Sunnydale verse or a place that only exists in the DC universes. Look at my google map located on my ffnet profile for starter ideas or just send me a review or private message. Thanks!