Chapter twenty-five. Betray me, hurt me, and kill me.
I was only aware of Alice calling out Bella's name even though she wouldn't hear it. I was aware of Jasper trying to calm down Alice. I was aware of Rosalie consulting Emmett. I was aware of the small sobs that escaped Esme's lips.
And I was so confused.
I stood there, staring in the darkness after the car that had just disappeared. Everyone around was talking. Shouting. Demanding to know what the hell was going on. I wanted to speak but I couldn't. I kept replaying that last desperate look that Bella gave me before she drove away. What was in her expression?
She looked so sad. So alone. I wanted to tell her that she wasn't alone. That I was here with her. But why did she leave? Why did she leave me behind?
"Carlisle…she's only fifteen, it's illegal for her to drive", whispered Esme, her lips quivering.
"You should've let me go after her", roared Emmett, cracking his knuckled in fury.
"No", said Carlisle sharply, "if you went after Bella she wouldn't have stopped, Emmett. She would've been more rebellious and probably chosen to do something really stupid."
"Yeah, but not going after might make her think we don't care", said Alice, clinging to Jasper like he was air.
"What the earth happened upstairs?" demanded Emmett, turning to Carlisle and Esme with a frustrated look.
"Emmett, I don't think –"
"Why was Bella angry?" asked Alice, desperately wanting answers like the rest of us. Esme's eyes flickered towards mine before she bowed her head and sighed.
"Let's go inside, kids", she said softly, "come on. It's getting cold. Edward, Rosalie, you too. Come on, inside."
Without another word, we all followed her in. Carlisle led the way to the living room again and we took a seat and waited expectantly.
"I want to know what you said you Bella", said Emmett almost forcefully, "why the fuck was she upset? What did you do?"
"No cussing in this house", hissed Carlisle sternly. We all turned to Esme, waiting for her to speak. She bit her lip and sighed again.
"Bella and I got into an argument", Esme explained reluctantly, "and…well, she lost her temper."
"That's not only it though", said Alice quickly, "we…we heard you guys shouting. Something about seeing a shrink. Is that why Bella's upset? You're sending her to the mad house?"
"We're not sending her anywhere", said Esme reproachfully. She glanced over to Carlisle for help.
"We were suggesting some things to Bella", Carlisle carried on, "but we can't tell you what or explain anything. It's Bella's personal details. Confidential to her."
"Not confidential if you know it", Emmett cut in rudely, "she's my sister, I want to know."
"We can't tell you", said Esme firmly, "you may ask Bella when she returns."
"If she returns", muttered Alice, sniffing slightly.
"Whatever you said to Bella, it must've been bad", said Emmett shaking his head and sighing, "She was really angry. I don't know…what you guys did, but…how could you?"
"Emmett it's not their fault", whispered Rosalie, "Bella must've over reacted on something that was said to her."
"I'm going to call her", Alice announced as she got up and left jasper's side.
"I don't think that's wise", said Carlisle. Alice turned to glare at him.
"So what? We just sit here like chickens and wait to see if she returns", she snapped in disbelief.
"Maybe we should leave", muttered Rosalie uncomfortably. She spoke in plural so jasper and I both stood up with her.
"No, wait with us", begged Alice, turning to pleaded with Jasper, "they can wait here, can't they mom? Dad? Please, they're Bella's friends too."
"Yes, sweetheart", sighed Esme looking more tired than she had veer looked. She had a resigned look on, like she couldn't cope with any more arguments.
"If she's not back by half past ten, I'm going out to look for her", declared Emmett firmly. He stared at his parents, daring them to say something to him. They didn't.
"She'll be back", said Carlisle with confidence, but it only sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
"And what if she isn't?" whispered Alice, asking the question I didn't even want to consider. "What if she's so mad that she does something really stupid? Huh? You know how Bella gets…what if she…"
Carlisle and Esme had turned their backs with worried faces. They both scrambled upstairs with Esme sniffing loudly. Alice was beeping into her phone and pressing it impatiently against her ears. Emmett, Rosalie and jasper watched her, waiting.
I lied back on the sofa, as my head continued to spin around. Everything that was happening wasn't real. I didn't understand it. I couldn't fit it in. just a couple of hours ago I had held Bella in my arms. All was well. We were ok. There were no problems to bother us.
And now…
Now she had driven off in her father's car, without a license, and no one knew where she was heading.
"No answer", sighed Alice, groaning in frustration. Emmett hissed under his breath and bit his lip to stop himself from lashing out.
"Why do you think she was so mad?" asked Rosalie in concern.
"I think they probably insulted", suggested jasper softly, "telling her that she needs to see a psychiatrist. It might've hit a nerve."
"That's absolute crap though", hissed Emmett, "Bella's fine! She was fine today. Why did they have to –"
"She wasn't fine before", muttered Alice reluctantly, "she looked like a zombie, Emmett. Remember?"
I saw Emmett wince at the memory.
"They just shouldn't have", he murmured, rubbing his face with his hands and sighing deeply.
--
As much as my confusion left me whirling around in no answers, I couldn't do anything at all to help myself.
My mind wondered back to Bella. The sweet innocent Bella. Because that's who she was. She was sort of broken and needed someone to put her back together. She was insecure though she acted tough, what troubled me is that people didn't see her trying.
"Hey, Emmett", I said softly as I got up. He looked up at me. Everyone was downstairs now. Esme and Carlisle whispered furiously in the kitchen. The rest of us waiting impatiently in the living room. The TV was on. No one watched it.
"I have to get home", I told him regrettably. As much as I wanted to wait for Bella, I really needed to get home. My aunt would not have been happy. I was meant to be back by nine o'clock. The three miss calls from her on my phone reminded me how unhappy she would be when I arrived.
"We have to as well", said Rosalie, glancing at her brother who nodded and stood up.
"I'm sorry", said Rosalie gently, "she'll be back, Emmett. She's a tough girl. I'm sure she just needed time to cool down."
"Yeah…"said Alice.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I said goodbye quickly to Emmett and Alice, giving them both rueful glances as I left. Jasper and Rosalie got in their cars, both whispering about something.
I grabbed my phone, feeling frustrated. Knowing that it was my aunty I pressed the reject button, then realised the caller ID was someone else.
I froze and kicked myself, a thousand times over for rejecting a call that was worth more than my own life.
--
Bella's POV. (Before she left the house)
My heart was pounding.
My ears didn't just hear those words.
My breath was quickening.
They didn't just say that to me.
My eyes watered.
They couldn't have meant what they said.
My mind took control then. And I reached over and grabbed the wallet on the table. And the keys. I didn't know why, but I wasn't controlling me. My mind was.
Without another thought, I got up and walked out of my father's study. Esme sighed and called my name. I didn't respond. My ears had stopped working, I couldn't hear myself running down the stairs. I was aware of Esme and Carlisle calling for me, but I couldn't hear them. If that made any sense.
My lips trembled as I ran straight into the living room. My eyes rested on Edward first of all.
He was my strength in all of this.
I felt warm to me. Cloud around me. Taking care of me and calming me. Then I realised that the TV was off.
Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice sat in the living room. They weren't taking. They were staring at me.
They were listening.
And they heard. They heard what was said. Edward heard it too?
My mouth opened and furious words tumbled out. I didn't hear what I had said. But I saw Emmett flinch. I saw Alice's eyes grow wide and her bottom lip tremble. I didn't look at Edward again.
Did he believe what he heard? Did he think I had a problem too? Did he still love me and feel the same way as before?
I sniffed as Esme and Carlisle reached the bottom stairs.
They spoke. And I replied.
With fuming rage inside of me. With watery eyes. With a betrayed feeling. I replied and told them.
"Stay away from me", I begged them. My breathing was coming up ragged now. They needed to understand me though, they needed to think about me this time, "I'm not sick, I'm not anorexic and I will not see any fucking shrink!"
My mouth closed up, my ears clogged up, my mind took control. I felt the wallet and the keys burning in my hands.
I heard more shouts of my name. It was all distant though. As if they were calling through a far away tunnel. Emmett's voice. Alice's voice. Carlisle and Esme.
There was one person who I would've stopped for. I would've frozen and given up everything for. But he didn't call my name.
I found myself in my father's car. My father. A traitor, that's what he was. And the engine purred on. I looked over to Edward and weirdly enough the warmth came back.
My eyes pleaded with him to call me back. To say something to me. But he looked merely confused by it all. He didn't look angry at the fact that I was supposedly 'sick'.
Would he be repulsed at the idea that my parents wanted me to see a psychiatrist?
My eyes burned with his, I poured out everything I could with a simply expression, hoping he knew how I felt about him. That this wasn't about him. It was about my parents and the fact that they didn't trust me. They thought I needed help.
--
I was found in a basket. With a blanket wrapped around me. And a silver necklace that read 'Isabella Swan'.
Apparently I was left, abandoned on the side of a river next to a large bush. Just a bush. Not a special bush. No magical fruits growing from the bush. Just a normal bush. Hedging plant, shrub. Whatever.
A toddler found me. Nearly four years old. He convinced his parents to take care of me.
I always felt caged in. too many arms wrapped around me. People so cautious. Taking too many precautions with me.
The fact that I was abandoned so carelessly troubled me. It made me feel alone. Although I had many people around me, it wasn't the same.
I got out my phone and stared as the fifth phone call from Alice stopped. There were about twelve miss calls from my house phone. A couple from Carlisle's cell phone and some from jasper, Rosalie and Emmett.
Yet, Edward didn't call.
The fact that he didn't was troubling me as I sat on the grass. I was at the same place I was found apparently. Emmett had told me where he found me. A normal park. Just a field with trees and plants where people go to have picnics.
It was deserted now.
I scrolled through my contacts and stopped at Edward's name. Then pressed Call.
Ring ring.
Ring ring.
Ring ring.
Ring ri –
"Your call has been rejected", an operated smooth voice said. I blinked as I wondered what had just happened.
Then the disappointment and hurt sunk in.
He rejected me.
Edward probably really did think I was a psycho then. After what he heard from the conversation, maybe he thought I was sick too. Is that what Emmett, Alice, Rosalie and Jasper thought too?
Did Esme say anything? Did Carlisle tell them that I needed help? That I was wallowing in self pity and I had a problem with food?
Did that mean Edward thought –
I jumped as I phone rang in my hands. I grabbed it quickly, recognising the ring tone.
'Edward Masen
Is Calling You.'
Answer.
Reject.
"E-Edward?" I breathed out.
"Bella! Where are you? Are you ok? God, I was so worried…w-what happened?" he tripped over his own words as they rushed out.
"I'm fine, Edward I'm fine", I reassured him. I was. Better at least. I was in fury. I wasn't angry.
I was hurt, I felt betrayed. But that was fine. Because I was fine.
"Where the hell are you?" he demanded in frustration, "everyone is worried sick!"
I winced at his last word.
"They are?" I asked timidly.
"Of course Bella", said Edward in a softer tone, "Emmett and Alice are clueless to what's going on so they're very upset that you ran out. What's the matter, Bella? What happened?"
"D-didn't Esme tell you?" I said in confusion. I was sure she would tell at least Emmett and Alice the fact that she thought I needed to see a psychiatrist.
"Not everything", he paused, "Bella, go home. Emmett's really upset. Just…have you called them?"
"N-no. you're the only o-one I wanted to t-talk to", I admitted, shivering from the cold.
Edward sighed.
"Where are you, Bells?" he asked softly.
"I'm at Gratin's Picnic Park", I answered him.
"Are you going home?" he asked, concernedly. I bit my lip and sighed. My hair blew around from the wind.
"N-not now", I told him truthfully, "I just…need some time to think. Or else I'm going to say or do something that I regret at home."
"Call Alice", suggested Edward, "please Bella. Just tell them you're ok. You don't have to go home yet. Just put them out of their misery."
"If I call…they'll convince me to go home", I explained sighing, "I can't go home Edward…please, just…I can't."
"Then text them", he urged, "they're really worried Bella."
I bit my lip as I considered. Then gave in.
"Yeah...I guess so", I whispered in a resigned way.
"Thank you, trust me, they'll at least stop worrying", he whispered back gently.
I didn't say anything but held the phone to my ears tightly. I could hear his breathing and the gentle purr of his car. He was driving.
"A-aren't you at my place?" I asked Edward curiously.
"Er, no. I, er, had to leave. I needed to get home", he answered, sounding ashamed.
"Oh…"
"Bella, would you mind if I come to Gratin's park too?" asked Edward reluctantly. Almost hesitant.
"No", I said, finally feeling myself smile, "no Edward, I wouldn't mind."