Life continued that way for them both as time slipped away. For Dean, childhood was dead and gone, no school, friends or chance to be happy except for his moments with Sam.

Dick Roman never contacted him still punishing him for the attempted murder. Dean kept going working the streets, clubs, bars, pool halls and lately started hitching rides to a large truck stop working the lonely truckers looking for a quick hump.

Dean hated the term "lot lizard" or "horse" but that's what he was, the truckers paid well and there was no small talk like a bar or club. Dean handed them a condom, bent over and took it.

Occasionally they wanted Dean to be the one to dominate and do the fucking which was the worst for him. He had to actually get hard for it and the man he had bent over the seat was less than clean or attractive, Dean slipped on the condom but was only partially erect and had to hold the base to keep it on.

He stared up at the truck cab ceiling and heard the man grunt as he worked the uninspired cock into his ass. The trucker looked back, "You're a fucking teenager, you should be hard as a rock! I'm not paying for a soft cock."

Dean squeezed his eyes shut and tried to push the smell of the cab out of his mind, he thought of beautiful Sam kissing him, the coral lips and little catlike licks of his soft pink tongue on Dean's tender neck.

Dean felt bad for dreaming of him to get hard but there was no longer a way to deny what he felt and wanted from his own brother. Dean fantasized about taking that ridged dick in his mouth and showing Sam what it felt like to have real pleasure. Dean thought of Sam a bit older and taking his virginity because the thought of anyone else having his brother turned his stomach.

Dean managed to harden enough but maintaining it was proving to be difficult, he cursed the alcohol he needed to even get this far and then thoughts turned to the angel.

Dean pictured his last time with Castiel, pining the slender wrists and taking the angel hard, the cries of passion and declarations of love but that didn't help. It was that same love from them both given to Dean freely that was making this encounter feel so wrong.

Finally Dean thought of what Dick Roman would do to the man, he would have brutalized him and Dean was able to finish then. He pulled out and immediately dropped the used condom on the floor of the truck figuring it was the man's problem now.

Dean got out and pulled the cap off his flask drinking deeply. The trucker followed after hitching up his pants and handed Dean fifty dollars, Dean looked at it and frowned, "Hey I said if I had to do you it was a hundred."

The trucker shrugged, "You weren't that good, I thought someone that looked like you…"

Dean stopped him, "What the fuck does that mean?"

"You know…like a worn out slut, bet that ass is used up already." He locked the doors and headed for the diner. Dean followed angry at being shorted, "Hey…hey I'm talking to you!"

The man stopped and turned around, "Get the fuck away from me and be satisfied."

Dean clenched his fists and fought the tears, he didn't want to cry but everything crashed down on him all at once after that. He found it harder and harder to push these encounters down and bury them and the fact he was shorted was too much.

"I got a brother that has to eat on this money! He's a kid, you short me fifty then you short him!"

The trucker snickered, "Turn him out, I bet he'd be better than you." He turned to keep walking, Dean was filled with rage running for the man but was blindsided with a crowbar to the head.

….

Dean's eyes flickered open and then closed, lights bursting behind them and the pain was excruciating. He heard men laughing and talking and when he felt the surface he was on it was cement. He caught the sight of florescent lights above him and a heavy smell of motor oil. Dean realized he was in a garage.

"Hey look, tough guy is waking up…hey horse ready to find out what happens when you take a run at my friend here?" Dean licked his dry lips and rolled on his belly crawling for the door, someone stood in front of him, "Where the fuck are you going?"

Dean closed the eye on the side that took the blow, it was too difficult to keep open, "Sorry…let me go…I gotta get home."

"Get the whores pants off." Dean felt his boots pulled off then next his jeans, he wasn't wearing boxers and the cement felt cold on his tender parts. Dean held himself protectively and curled into a ball.

The normally tough fighter couldn't get enough balance to even stand, Dean took a boot to the head and ribs and it all went black again.

…

Sam paced the floor and stared at the phone, Dean told him to never call or text when he was working. Sam prayed so hard he thought his head would explode, Castiel still never answered.

…..

Castiel heard the prayers, Dean in his nightmare begging for the angel to save him and Sam praying for Castiel to come home and find Dean. He screamed in frustration until one of his tormentors appeared outside the cell door, "Hush Castiel you cry like an infant! Have some dignity," the angel sneered, "what a captain you turned out to be."

Castiel ran for the iron grate on the door and clung to it begging, "You can have me, do what you want but just let me help them. Dean is going to die I can feel him slipping. What right do we have to let them fall like this?"

The angel raised an eyebrow and smirked, "I'll have you and do what I want anyway so go back to listening to your prayers. If he dies then Death will sort it out, now shut your mouth."

…..

Dean woke briefly feeling something inside of him, cool, slick like glass, he moaned begging them to let him go. His body was stretched open until Dean thought he would tear in half, a knee pushed home whatever it was and he blacked out again.

…..

He felt the object slide out and his hips pulled up, blood slicked the way for the men one after the other as they took him as Dean tried to call for the angel.

"What is he saying?"

One of the men bent down to listen, "He's asking for someone called "Cas"…who's that sweetheart, your little boyfriend? Well he's not gonna want you after we get done."

Dean heard them laughing after that then slipped away.

…

Dawn finally broke through the dirty windows and with his one good eye Dean saw the bottle lying next to him wet and filthy from his own body.

He started to cry knowing this was the end, that he would never see Sam again and his brother would have to fend for himself in a world of monsters. Dean would never get the chance to tell the angel how he really felt and how much he meant to him and those things seemed much worse than him dying.

After awhile the pain floated away and the words they said to him meant nothing. He closed his eyes and waited for his light to die.

…..

Sam finally called him, it was a difficult decision but with no one else to help he called the one person that could find his brother.

"Dick its Sam don't hang up!"

"What do you want Sam."

"I'm serious this time, Dean is missing for real…I know after what happened last time you don't believe me but I swear to god its true."

There was a pause and Sam's heart stopped until Dick started to talk again, "Where do you think he is?"

"Dean has been…Dean has been working the truck stop on the interstate doing stuff."

"I see."

"Please Dick I feel that something happened to him, those guys there are rough. He's come home hurt a lot, I'm really scared this time."

"I can find him."

Sam felt relief passing through him, "Thank you! How will you find him?"

"Don't thank me, I'm not doing it for you…it's for me. I can track him through his phone. Goodbye Sam."

Dick hung up and the only thing Sam could do was wait.

….

They stared down at Deans prone body, "What do we do with him…he's bleeding out."

"Dump him somewhere; let nature take its course. You're the stupid fucker that bashed his head and fucked him with a goddamn bottle. I'm not getting in trouble for you Jerry."

They tossed Dean in the back of a pick up along with his jeans and boots and drove him down a gravel road then rolled him to the bottom of a ravine to die.

…..

Dean felt himself fading in and out, he fumbled for the phone but his hands didn't want to cooperate. Finally he pressed Sam's number and rested his head on the phone waiting for him to answer.

"S…Sammy?"

Dean sounded far away, his voice was low and ragged and Sam listened carefully waiting for information, a clue so he could save him.

"Dean tell me where you are."

"Love you Sam."

"I love you too Dean, Dick Roman is going to find you ok? I had to call him Dean I'm sorry. Where are you?"

"Don't know…Sammy listen…leave."

"What?"

I'm dying…leave there…get the car…go."

Sam's voice hitched, "No you're not! Don't say that help is coming stay awake, talk to me until Dick gets there."

"Too late go…I did it for you."

The voice drifted away and Sam kept talking a mile a minute trying to get his brother to respond but he heard the breathing coming shallow and then a slow hiss. When it stopped Sam yelled into the phone demanding Dean to wake up.

…

It took four angels to hold Castiel, he was raving mad and the angelic scream was stifled by a gag. He bucked and clawed in a desperate bid to escape as he felt Deans light fading.

TBC