A/N – Thank you once again for reading, reviewing, and sharing your thoughts. It's great having you along for the journey these two are taking. A word of caution, this chapter will be full of angst. But take heart; it's not due to their relationship. That is going great. Feelings are beginning to surface for Sheldon as he works through his past. WARNING: If child abuse is a trigger for you, please proceed with caution. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory. This is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended
~Chapter 25~
"…And now you are and I am and we're a mystery which will never happen again…"
E.E. Cummings
Sheldon sat at his desk trying to grade papers and answer correspondence, but it was futile. There was nothing else he could concentrate on at the moment, except for the memories of last Saturday night and what he'd shared with Amy.
Five days. It had been five days, and he still couldn't get the taste of her out of his head. Or the sounds of her cries as she called out his name.
Especially the sound of her laughter reverberating in his ears as they had shared that incredible date.
120 hours. And yet he still felt the way he did driving home Saturday night.
Euphoric.
He knew that this would happen; feared that this would happen. And yet…he couldn't care less. He'd never felt so exhilarated and happy in his entire life, even if that meant she was all he could think about. He thought about everything else in life too much, anyway. It was time to make room for what really mattered. His Amy.
The mighty oak tree which was once Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper had toppled.
He hadn't seen her at all over the last five days, not even at work. They were each busy with projects and in the evenings, weren't able to see each other for one reason or another. And he missed her…terribly.
On Monday, he had to go with the guys on an excursion to a furniture store to help Wolowitz pick up some purchases he'd made. They were renovating their house, formerly Mrs. Wolowitz's before her untimely death last year, and Sheldon had agreed to help him move the heavy items as a surprise for Bernie.
Tuesday found Amy busy with her new galpals, meeting for dinner and drinks downtown. Sheldon was ecstatic that Amy had fit in so effortlessly with his friend's significant others; it was one area of worry he'd had before everything was out in the open. He had underestimated his friends' kindness, though, since they had welcomed Amy with open arms.
For that, he was grateful. If perhaps not a little jealous at how they were now consuming her time.
Wednesday was comic book night, and the guys had glared at him when he suggested going without him because he wanted to bring Amy dinner.
"Stop crowding her. You need to give her space." Raj had lamented, shaking his head.
"Crowding her? We've just started dating," Sheldon had muttered in confusion.
"Exactly." Raj had said cryptically, raising his brows.
Sheldon had peered at Leonard, begging him silently for help.
"I wouldn't listen to Raj, Sheldon. If you want to go visit your girlfriend, then do it. You have a lot of time to make up for…a LOT of time."
Surprisingly, that was Howard's suggestion and not Leonard's, delivered in a sing-song voice.
Leonard smirked at their diminutive friend.
"Listen to you, Howard. Sounds like Bernadette has you on a short leash." Leonard said jovially, fist bumping with Raj.
Howard rolled his eyes.
"Laugh it up. But when Penny kicks you out one day, don't come crying on my doorstep. Besides…Bernie said no more sleepovers." Howard had moaned sheepishly.
Sheldon had listened to their banter, more confused than ever. Should he forgo a night with the guys to rush over to Amy's? Would she be upset with him if he didn't? Was he crowding her, and how would he know it? For Heaven's sake…they had just started dating!
Not wanting to risk upsetting her he had texted Amy, asking her opinion on the matter. True to form, Amy texted back in a prompt manner with not only a smiley face icon, but a 'LOL'.
'Of course you can go with the guys to the comic shop, Sheldon. But thank you for asking if I minded. That was very sweet.'
The truth was, it was her letting him off the hook that made him want to see her more than ever. After what they had shared Saturday night, all he wanted to do was be in her presence again. Was she not feeling the same?
Stop it, Cooper. She just wants you to live your life and not be in her face 24/7. He reasoned. Yet he couldn't stop thinking about her.
He was no stranger to obsession; whether it be Physics related, Sci-Fi related, or gaming related. Once he acquired an earworm…that was it. Nothing else could scratch the itch until it was sated. So it was that he was quickly discovering with Amy.
On Saturday night when she had opened her door and stood there in that dress, he had nearly panicked and fled. That wasn't Amy the Neuroscientist. That was Amanda the Vixen. She knew exactly what she was doing, dressing as she had with so much of her delicate skin available for him to touch and admire. She was sexy, yet feminine. Alluring, yet demure. She was his dear, sweet Amy, yet so much more.
And the mind blowing fact that had him quaking in his shoes? She admitted to having dressed that way for him. Right down to her undergarments which had rendered him catatonic.
Having no previous experience with women or their fashions, Sheldon had really never put any thought into what they wore, especially underneath.
Sure…as a man, he was curious. Stores like Victoria's Secret and La Perla were constantly bombarding the airwaves with scantily clad women in an attempt to hock their wares. It had become commonplace in this society to view half naked women for the sake of selling underwear.
Furthermore, he remembered seeing his mother do laundry when he was a child, and Sheldon would spy the occasional bra of his mother's or training bra of Missy's. He thought the contraptions they wore were mysterious and odd. He understood the science behind wearing such a garment, yet never equated it with being something seductive.
All that changed on Saturday night, when he pulled Amy's bodice down and was faced with not only the sexiest bra he had ever seen, but the sexiest woman wearing it.
Sheldon swiveled away from his desk, turning his chair to face the window. Leaning back, he closed his eyes and let his perfect memory do its job as he conjured up Amy in all of her glory.
She was the living, breathing embodiment of Aphrodite. His own personal Goddess whose scent drove him to distraction, had eyes that laid his soul bare, and a heart that had seized his own its comforting grip. Her beauty was indisputable, and had been since that day he opened the door to find her green eyed gaze fixed curiously on him.
But having seen her so intimately, allowing herself to be viewed by his hungry gaze…and to know now finally that she had never let another see her thusly, touched his heart and gave him a feeling of possessiveness that was overwhelming. Her skin was of the softest silk. Her rounded, feminine curves were absolutely perfect. He'd heard the term reaching 'second base' before, but had no idea what an effect it would have on him. Sharing that with Amy had been overwhelmingly erotic.
Good Lord, but touching her had been so pleasurable that it had bordered on sinful. The beauty of her lush breasts was indescribable. Petite yet voluptuous, they were perfect for her size. Encased in that provocative lace, producing such alluring cleavage…they made his mouth literally water. But seeing her completely bare…having her warm, fragrant flesh in his mouth…
"Oh, dear." Sheldon whispered aloud at the memory, scrubbing his face with his palms.
He had absolutely no idea what he was doing Saturday night. In hindsight, he realized that he should have researched how to pleasure a woman, or something like that. He had been flying blind, and really, had no idea something like that would happen.
It was her admission that she too was a virgin that did it. Suddenly, he wanted to put his hands and his mouth all over her. Everywhere. Mark her. Claim her. So when Amy begged him to touch her, he didn't hesitate.
The feel of her writhing against him, reaching her peak, was indescribable. He'd never been privy to watching a woman orgasming before. He had no idea that a woman could even do that from mere breast stimulation alone.
Turning back to his laptop, he opened a new window for google and typed in 'Can a woman orgasm through breast stimulation alone?'
A number of articles popped up which he scanned quickly, shocked to discover that a small percentage of women could achieve orgasm in such a manner. Sheldon closed his eyes and swallowed as he realized how special and unique Amy was in that respect.
She was certainly a sexual being, which he'd known from the start. In his defense, it was probably that reason he had assumed she had experience with men. She wasn't shy about talking about sex, or making her desires known like on New Year's Eve when she straddled his lap and opened his shirt.
She was very blunt, which was due to her scientific back round. He knew that when they had their disagreement of Physics vs. Neuroscience.
A memory he visited almost nightly.
Sheldon suddenly found himself wondering if she pleasured herself on a regular basis, and if she used any kind of toys to facilitate it. He had the sudden desire to watch her…maybe even assist her.
You are turning into a sex fiend. He berated himself, running his hand through his hair with shaking fingers. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his libido which had been dormant until meeting Amy.
When he had arrived home Saturday night, he barely made it through the door before he was in the shower, finishing what Amy had started on her couch. He desperately wanted her to touch him, but didn't think it was proper for him to have allowed her to.
She was going to be the death of him, he was certain of it. Everything about her screamed sensuous. He was in deep trouble if he thought he could resist her for very long. It had been nigh on impossible to get up from her couch on Saturday and leave her. He knew they weren't ready for intercourse; for one thing, he wanted more with her than a first time quickie on her couch. And she was too precious to be used that way for his pleasure.
He wanted them to learn each other, explore each other…he knew that foreplay was a good thing, and he intended to use it. Yet he had no clue how to go about this aspect of their relationship.
He could talk to Leonard about it. He trusted Leonard, probably with his life. But somehow, he knew he needed the advice of someone more experienced.
He knew what he had to do. He would call Harvey.
Over the course of the last month, Harvey had become like the father Sheldon had always wished for. Everything had changed back in Texas, especially after their day of sailing and their deep conversation. He trusted Harvey, and he valued his experience being an older man. He knew Harvey wouldn't judge him or laugh at him. And honestly…a part of him almost felt giddy; like he couldn't wait to share with Harvey what he and Amy had achieved.
A fleeting fear passed through his mind at the fact sharing this with Harvey would be embarrassing. After all, he was a Christian man, who was dating his mother of all people. There was always a risk of him sharing that information with Mary.
Yet Sheldon trusted Harvey, and knew he would keep it between them if he asked.
His mind made up, he reasoned that he would call Harvey tonight.
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Amy had just finished up with her labs when she heard her phone chime with a text. Removing her latex glove, she walked over to the desk and retrieved her phone.
'Want to go shopping tonight with me?' – P
Amy smiled as she read the text, wondering what 'shopping' with Penny entailed.
'Sure. What did you have in mind?' – A
Amy waited while Penny texted back, smiling at a grad student who was leaving for the day and waved at her.
'I was thinking something for Valentine's Day. I want to buy a new dress, and a gift for Leonard. Are you game?'
Amy gasped, having completely forgotten it was Valentine's Day in less than two weeks. And why would she have remembered, anyway? This was the first time in her life that she was a part of a couple. A feeling of giddiness overwhelmed her suddenly, as gift ideas for Sheldon came to mind.
'I am so game. How about we meet at your place…say, 7?'
Penny texted back immediately.
'It's a plan. See you then.'
Amy sat at the desk, her smile widening as she wondered if Sheldon would be opposed to going out for Valentine's Day.
It seemed like lately, her thoughts drifted to Sheldon constantly.
After he had left Saturday night, Amy leashed up Chaucer for a quick walk before bed. Her feet had hardly touched the ground, as her flushed cheeks and racing heart had made her feel like she was floating on air. He had touched her so intimately, so…erotically. She had no experience with sex, so she had no idea how sensitive her body was to stimuli. When he had put his heavenly mouth on her, she had almost passed out.
But it was more than just the pleasure he had given her. It was her desire to please him; the need to please him…that burned in her loins like an inferno.
He had looked so desirously adorable with his flushed skin and messy hair…his wet, swollen lips that were pouty due to her lips nibbling them. Oh…how she wanted him to stay with her.
Amy smiled, looking down shyly. Who was she kidding? For all of her bravado, she was still a virgin. She knew Sheldon was being a gentleman and taking it slow not only for his own peace of mind, but for hers. Now that their cards were on the table, and they each knew they were each other's firsts…there was no rush.
If anything, she had the desire to savor each moment they were together. Bathe like a bubble bath in the soothing, lush deliciousness of anticipation. No other woman had ever touched what was hers. It filled her with pride as high as Mount Everest to know of all of the women in Sheldon's life over the years, that none of them had awakened him as she had. It made her love for him only grow deeper. He had waited for her, however subconsciously, as she had waited for him. She couldn't even imagine the joy they would share together, both emotionally and physically, when the time came.
Perhaps a little shopping expedition with Penny would be just what the doctor ordered. Is Sheldon did have something planned for Valentine's Day, then she wanted to be ready.
Giggling like a teenager, Amy flicked off her other glove, taking off her lab coat and hanging it up. She sighed as she pictured Sheldon's aroused and startled face as he stumbled to her door Saturday night.
"I can wait, Sheldon. I can wait. The question is…can you?" She whispered to herself.
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Later that evening, after a phone call with Amy in which she mentioned that she and Penny were going shopping, Sheldon sat in his spot and dialed up Harvey's number. He bit his lip as the line rang four times, prepared to leave a message when the line suddenly clicked over.
"Sheriff Watson speaking. How may I help you?" He asked in his brisk, no nonsense tone.
Sheldon cleared his throat noisily.
"Um…Hello, Harvey. It's Sheldon." He answered quietly.
Harvey chuckled happily, his deep voice ringing in Sheldon's ears.
"Sheldon! How are you, Son? I was just thinking about you. Isn't that odd?" Harvey boomed, his voice merry.
Sheldon felt his lips quiver at the fact Harvey had called him 'Son'.
"Yes, odd." He agreed quietly.
"Is everything alright, Sheldon?" Harvey asked, his tone changing from merry to apprehensive.
Sheldon coughed lightly.
"Oh, yes. Everything is fine. More than fine, actually. I was wondering if you had a few minutes to talk with me." Sheldon ventured expectantly.
Harvey chuckled again, good-naturedly.
"I always have time to talk to you, Sheldon." Harvey said kindly.
Sheldon bit his lip.
"Thank you, Harvey. I needed some advice." Sheldon admitted sheepishly.
Startled by Sheldon's request, Harvey gasped. This was a first.
"Well, I am certainly here for you in any way that you need. This um…this wouldn't have anything to do with a green-eyed Neuroscientist who can steer a boat better than a Seaman, would it?" Harvey asked him slyly.
Sheldon puckered his brows.
"How did you know?" He asked curiously.
This time, Harvey's sigh was playfully exaggerated.
"You do know that your twin is friendly with your best friend's fiancé, right? This whole place has been atwitter with talk of your date last Saturday night, Sheldon. I can't get your Mama off of the phone with your Meemaw. I think the pair of them are planning your wedding already'." Harvey chuckled.
Sheldon rolled his eyes.
"Curses! Penny and her big mouth." Sheldon grumbled. "Does everyone know that Amy is now my girlfriend?" Sheldon asked petulantly.
Harvey laughed joyfully, and it was the reassurance in the sound that made Sheldon feel slightly better.
"Well, most of Galveston County knows by now. But there is always that contingent on the outskirts of town that are out of the loop. Perhaps once Mary runs that ad in the Chronicle…" Harvey said humorously, leaving his statement open to interpretation.
Sheldon face palmed himself, groaning.
"Good Lord…" If gossip had a circus, then Mary and Missy Cooper would be the Ringleaders.
Harvey took a swig of coffee, barking in laughter.
"Listen up, Son. You are going to have to always be one step ahead now. Women mean well, but they can't help themselves. I think its Missy's fault. She called Penny last week while over here with the baby, and Penny informed her that you and that little girl are now an item. When your mama heard that, well…just know this, Son. She's expecting a phone call from you. Yesterday." Harvey warned.
Sheldon groaned again.
"I'm sure." He grumbled hotly. "Um…What else do you know?" Sheldon ventured carefully.
"Me? Not so much. I know you both had a huge misunderstanding a couple of weeks back. I assume it was cleared up?" Harvey asked in trepidation.
"Yes. All cleared up." Sheldon said proudly.
"Well that is good to hear, Sheldon." Harvey said, reassuringly.
Sheldon sighed, suddenly wanting to tell Harvey the reasons why.
"Harvey…the truth is…when I returned back to Pasadena, I began to see a therapist. A Psychiatrist. To help me with my issues. There were…things in my past that kept popping up. I wanted to work through them so that I could put them behind me once and for all. " Sheldon said quietly.
The line was silent for at least thirty seconds, and Sheldon thought the call had dropped.
"Harvey?" He asked apprehensively.
Harvey cleared his throat, and Sheldon could have sworn he heard the man sniffle.
"Sheldon…Son, I am so proud of you. That is fantastic news." Harvey echoed back, his voice full of emotion.
The sound of it and Harvey's praise instantly brought tears to Sheldon's eyes. He never realized how deeply he missed the pride and affection of a father. Harvey, it seemed, wasn't afraid to express his emotions. It didn't make him any less of a man in Sheldon's eyes. Quite the contrary; if a man like Harvey Watson could let down his guard and express himself, then Sheldon knew there was no reason for himself to be ashamed at doing so.
"I…thank you." He managed, his voice a slight croak.
"You're welcome, Son. How is it going, the therapy? Do you get on well with your doctor?" Harvey asked, genuinely interested.
Sheldon cleared his throat.
"Yes. Very well. He's a good man and an excellent Psychiatrist. He's actually the one who treated me back in November while I was in the hospital." Sheldon admitted, biting his lip.
Another silence descended, and this time, Sheldon knew Harvey was trying to work out Sheldon's confession in his head.
"November?" Harvey questioned, his tone worried. "You were hospitalized in November? Why didn't you say anything?" Harvey questioned seriously, his tone now worried.
Sheldon took a deep breath, blowing it out steadily.
"Harvey…If I asked you for discretion, would you be able to give it to me?" Sheldon asked hopefully.
"Of course, Son. Whatever you need." Harvey assured the younger man.
"Thank you. Well…something happened to me last year that I didn't…couldn't…tell the family about. It was the primary reason I came out to Texas in December." Sheldon rushed out.
On the other end of the line, Harvey feared the worst. Steeling himself, he cleared his own throat of the emotion that had clogged there.
"I'm listening, Sheldon. Whatever you need." Harvey repeated in a caring tone.
He had wanted to remain strong, but between these new feelings being wrought out of him in therapy and his ever deepening love for Amy softening him, Sheldon found himself at his breaking point. It was getting easier to talk about his demons to Dr. Corbin, but he discovered what he really needed was a father; a man to listen to him and support him.
Tears rolled down his face at Harvey's gentle request. His kids were extremely fortunate to have a father such as him. What he would've given to have George speak to him so kindly.
"Harvey, I suffered a nervous breakdown in November. I was forced to stay in the hospital for two weeks under medical care. And I was forced by the University President to take a break, which is how I ended up back home at the cottage. I couldn't tell anyone. I didn't know how. And I didn't want to worry the family. It was Christmas. I didn't want to ruin it for everyone." Sheldon choked out, barely able to finish his words.
Harvey sighed deeply in Sheldon's ear, as if the confession was too much for him to take.
"Oh, Sheldon…I'm so sorry, Son. I knew something was wrong. The way you behaved that first day Amy arrived, should have tipped me off. You seemed positively terrified to have her there. I'm sorry that I forced your hand and made her stay." Harvey said in regret.
Sheldon's eyes widened exponentially.
"No! That was the best thing you ever could have done, Harvey. Don't you see that? Meeting Amy has changed my life. If I had let her leave that day…Lord only knows where I'd be right now." He said shakily.
The truth behind Sheldon's words startled Harvey. His thoughts drifted back to that night at the bonfire, when Sheldon had gotten into the verbal sparring match with Brett. He looked positively haunted; unreachable. No wonder.
"Sheldon…what can I do to help you? Anything you need, any kind of support…it's yours. I love your mother, Sheldon. But you kids have become just as special to me. I hope that you know that." Harvey said sincerely.
Touched by Harvey's candor, Sheldon smiled.
"I appreciate your support, Harvey. Thank you."
Harvey sighed again, returning back to Amy.
"I can see that Amy has done a world of good for you, Sheldon. She is a special woman, alright." Harvey whispered.
Sheldon nodded to himself.
"She's more than special, Harvey. She's…everything."
Harvey nodded to himself.
"Is that why you're going to therapy? For Amy?" Harvey asked seriously.
Sheldon knew at once why Harvey was asking.
"I'm going to therapy for myself, Harvey. Healing myself for Amy is a bonus." Sheldon whispered.
Harvey closed his eyes, relief flooding though his body.
"That is good news, Sheldon." He said in relief.
"I would appreciate it if you allow me to tell the family in my own time." He beseeched the older man.
"Of course, Sheldon. You are a grown man. I would never betray you and go running to your mama with such news. That is for you to tell." He assured him.
"Like I said earlier…I was actually calling to ask your advice." Sheldon ventured, pulling at an imaginary thread on his pants.
"Shoot. Whatever you need." Harvey said quickly.
"Um…Amy and I have grown closer…physically. Like I told you on the boat, I…am a little out of my depth here. And to be honest, I haven't a clue how to proceed." Sheldon said in embarrassment, sighing deeply.
Harvey nodded, trying to formulate a response.
"Oh. Well, like I told you that day…slow is good. Discovering what pleases each other is key. You have the best kind of relationship, Sheldon. One rooted deeply in friendship. The bond you both share is special. I don't know why you're fretting so much about the physical stuff. That's the easy part."
Sheldon gasped in incredulity.
"Easy? How is that…easy?" He asked in a high pitched voice.
Harvey chuckled.
"Son…any man can have sex. You let your mind go and let your body take over. Believe me…it knows what to do. What it wants. But it takes a real man to romance a woman. Listen to her needs. Be there for her. Love her. You know why? Because it promises commitment. And commitment is hard work, kid. It says 'I'm in it for the long haul'. I'm not gonna walk out because we have a disagreement. It lets the woman know that she means more than a simple roll in the hay. Even if it takes you years to reach that point where you can make love to her, it will be worth it. Because it will be making love." He said sagely.
Sheldon sighed, frowning at how simple it was when Harvey laid it out for him. Amy herself had said getting there was half the fun. So why was he stressing over this? He was so tired of overthinking everything. Harvey was right; they were such good friends, with an abiding trust. The rest would come.
"I can't believe we're having this conversation. I can't believe I even brought it up." Sheldon said seriously.
"Why?" Harvey asked in confusion.
Sheldon tsked loudly.
"Well…you are a Christian. I didn't know if such a topic would make you feel uncomfortable. And you're practically…family." Sheldon whispered.
Harvey laughed sharply.
"Sheldon…I may be a Christian, but I'm no angel. I don't have to remind you of what you walked in on last year, do I?" He asked in self-deprecation.
"Yeah…I guess not." Sheldon agreed, cringing at the memory.
The two men laughed heartily, the ice broken for good. It wasn't his mother's or Harvey's finest hour. But Sheldon had learned to get over it.
"Sheldon…do you really want to be intimate with Amy?" He asked quietly.
Sheldon sighed.
"Yes. But like I've told you already, I have no experience. I don't know what is required of me. I don't know what is…proper. I don't want to offend her or rush her. And I don't want to make her think that is all I care about. It's the last thing in the world I care about, as opposed to how deep my feelings for her truly run." He whispered.
Harvey smiled at how much of a gentleman Sheldon really was.
"Well, I will hazard a guess that a woman like Amy will no doubt tell you if she is offended. She's a spitfire, that one."
Sheldon smiled, picturing his girl.
"Harvey? What does it feel like…coitus?" Sheldon asked quietly, his tone shy.
Harvey made a cringing sound.
"First of all, I think you're using too scientific a term. 'Coitus' is something cold and clinical. When two people care about each other, or more specifically love each other, it's so much more, Sheldon." Harvey stated.
Sheldon thought about that phrase, 'making love'.
"What is it like?" He whispered shyly. "I know the mechanics of sex. But I'm interested to know what to expect."
Harvey blew out a gust of air.
"With the right person Sheldon, it's damn near magical. It's more than just physical pleasure. It's emotional as well. Spiritual. It's sharing your innermost self with another person. Allowing that person to see every vulnerable part of you. I won't lie, Son…it feels fantastic. But it's so much more than the sum of its parts. It's an experience that you'll never forget. Especially your first time." Harvey said knowingly, his voice gentle.
"I see." Sheldon said quietly.
"You know…there is no rush to the finish line, here. You both have just found each other. Enjoy this time, Sheldon. Court her. Make her feel special. The rest will come. Trust me. From what I saw back in Texas, the two of you are made for each other. Something like that doesn't happen every day, you know?"
Sheldon nodded, although Harvey couldn't see it.
"Thank you, Harvey. That makes a lot of sense." Sheldon said with gratitude.
Harvey hummed in pleasure that he could help.
"Harvey…will you do something for me? I know it's asking a lot, but I don't know where else to go. It concerns Amy, and I need someone's help who works in law enforcement." He said.
"Of course." Harvey answered immediately. "Is she in trouble?"
Sheldon frowned, rushing to reassure him.
"Oh, no. It's not like that. It concerns her family. I'd like to find out everything I can about her father. He was Chief of Thoracic Surgery at Boston Memorial about thirty years ago. His name is Dr. Adam Fowler." Sheldon said quietly.
"I gather Amy and her father aren't close?" Harvey ventured after a moment, if the fact Sheldon needed this information and wasn't getting it from Amy was any indication.
"No." Sheldon said simply, leaving it at that.
"I…will see what I can find out." He promised Sheldon.
"Thank you. There is one other thing. Amy's mother's name was Lily Fowler. She…she died in childbirth in 1984 while delivering Amy. I'd like some photo's of her, if possible. Is there a way for you to legally access the DMV database to find any licenses of hers? Or look her up in the Massachusetts archives for yearbook photos, that sort of thing? I wouldn't want to compromise you or abuse your position," Sheldon said seriously.
Harvey narrowed his brows at Sheldon's bits of information. Amy's mother died giving birth to her? Her father was MIA for thirty years? Exactly what the hell had happened to that little girl?
A terrible picture was forming in Harvey's mind about what Amy had suffered. Maybe it wasn't such a coincidence after all, her and Sheldon finding each other.
"Sheldon…I will see what I can do. Mrs. Fowler, does her first name have one L or two?" He asked quietly.
"One L." Sheldon affirmed, clearing his throat.
"Alright." Harvey said with finality.
"Harvey, this means a lot to me. Please…whatever you can find." Sheldon stressed.
"She means a lot to you, doesn't she?" Harvey asked him seriously.
Sheldon nodded vigorously to himself.
"Yes, Harvey. She does."
"It took a great deal of courage for you to call me today, Sheldon. I appreciate your faith in me. And your trust." Harvey said with feeling.
"I…do trust you." Sheldon said with conviction.
Harvey sighed heavily.
"And I trust you, Son. Which is why I've decided to tell you that I am asking your Mama to marry me on Valentine's Day." Harvey said.
Sheldon gasped, his entire body going numb at Harvey's words.
Happiness. He was happy. Happy for his mother, and happy that he had a man like Harvey in his life.
"That's the best news I could have heard today. Congratulations, Sheriff Watson." Sheldon said sincerely.
Harvey released a deep sigh of relief. He knew Sheldon had given him his blessing at Christmas, but to know for a fact now that he had the all clear made Harvey feel fifty feet tall.
"Thank you, Sheldon. You have no idea what your support and blessing means to me." Harvey admitted, and Sheldon smiled.
"I do, Harvey. I really do. Now…make an honest woman of my mama. And do me a favor…"
Harvey snorted loudly.
"Another favor? Kid, I'm tallying up these favors. What is it?" He asked happily.
Sheldon chuckled.
"For a wedding present…buy my mother a new couch."
The laughter on the other end of the line could be heard all the way in Pasadena. Even without a phone.
"Will do, Son." Harvey said. "I'll be in touch."
Sheldon disconnected the call, staring ahead. There were lots of changes coming, in all of their lives.
He knew that once he discovered who Dr. Fowler was and where he had disappeared to, he would confront him. He had to know how he could have abandoned his own daughter. What kind of man would do such a thing? And why?
It was too late for his relationship with George to be mended, but if he could give Amy closure, he would move Heaven and Earth to do it.
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The next night Sheldon and Amy were finally able to share dinner together, albeit with the gang. Amy came over after work, smiling shyly when he opened the door. He didn't know what her sweet look meant, until he looked down and noticed she was staring at the yellow lightning bolt emblazoned on his chest.
"Oh…I finally got around to replacing Chaucer's shirt." He said sheepishly, smiling shyly himself.
Amy giggled, crossing her arms across her chest in an appraising manner.
"Great look. Very sexy," Amy purred quietly, averting her eyes and looking down at her feet.
Sheldon chuckled, leaning his head down to catch her eyes.
"Hmm…I've never been told that, before. Who knew that a superhero t shirt would be so…arousing?" He asked her smoothly, loving the effect he was having on her.
Not one to be gainsaid, Amy's eyes shot back up to his with intensity.
"Well…it's not the shirt, per se. It's more like, the One who is wearing it." She whispered.
Their eyes locked and held, and Sheldon knew by the way her eyes darkened that Amy was feeling the same breathless excitement that he was. Perhaps one day soon, he'd be giving up this shirt as well. This time, to Amy.
The thought of her in his Flash t shirt with nothing else raced through his mind and he felt a sharp spike of arousal. He ushered her inside, unable to keep his eyes off of her the entire night.
Eating Chinese food and playing Halo with her there in his apartment was extremely distracting, he found. While he, Leonard, Howard and Raj played, the ladies had taken up residence around the island counter drinking tea and whispering to each other.
"I wonder what they're talking about," Raj whispered.
Leonard shrugged and grinned, but Howard narrowed his eyes in a cunning display of ESP.
'I'll bet my mint condition Hulk that it's Valentine's Day," Howard said slyly.
That got Sheldon's attention. He gulped, staring at the three men in such a panic that they had to pause the game.
"Val-Valentine's Day?" Sheldon asked blankly, suddenly breaking out in a cold sweat.
Howard eyed his friend with curiosity.
"Yeah, Sheldon. It is a week and a half to the holiday. What did you think they'd be discussing?' He asked humorously.
Sheldon sat back, his eyes drifting over to Amy in a panic. This would be the first year of his life that he had a girlfriend on Valentine's Day. What in the world was expected of him?
It seemed the matter was dropped for the moment, as the game resumed. But Sheldon found that he couldn't concentrate on the game anymore as plans began to take root in his mind. He sat up late into the night, wondering what he should do to make the day special for Amy.
He barely slept, dragging himself into work the next day in exhaustion. He had tossed and turned all night, unable to get comfortable. On top of that, he had awoken with a strange feeling of doom. All day he felt off. His head ached, his throat hurt, and now, he had started to sneeze. When he practically crawled into the cantina at lunchtime Raj, Howard, and Leonard were all staring at him with wariness. It was when they heard him sneeze followed up by a deep, rumbling cough that they knew they were in trouble.
"Oh, Geez…code milky green. This is not a drill." Howard whispered, prompting the other three men to grab their trays and flee before Sheldon could reach the table.
Sheldon looked around, swearing he had seen them when he walked in. He took his cup of hot tea and sat down at one of the tables, shivering due to the overhead air conditioner vent. He had no idea how he had gotten sick. Perhaps one of his students was ill and passed it on to him. None of his friends were sick nor were around sick people, so they weren't carriers. That only left Amy, and she wasn't sick either.
After his final class of the day had let out, he all but oozed out to the parking lot and got in his car with a heavy head. Whatever this was, it was taking hold of him quickly. He drove home in a daze, disappointed when Leonard wasn't there. Pulling out his phone, he fired off a quick text to him.
Leonard, I'm sick. Could you stop by the store and buy me some soup?
He sat there and waited for almost thirty minutes before Leonard answered him back.
Sorry, Buddy. Penny and I have plans tonight. Why don't you see if Amy is free?
Sheldon frowned at that, shaking his head. He couldn't impose on his girlfriend while sick, could he? The last thing he wanted to do was be a nuisance to her. He didn't think he could bear it if Amy shut the door in his face. She was an angel, but foisting himself upon her in his state might prove too much for her to cope with. After another thirty minutes of debating, Sheldon decided to go to Amy's. He was feeling awful, and knew it was just going to get worse. There was also the matter of how upset he got when sick, which scared him to death.
Rising on unsteady legs, he made his way down the stairs and to his car, hoping that Amy wouldn't be too upset with him for not only showing up unannounced, but ruining her night.
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Amy hadn't heard from Sheldon all day, and she was beginning to grow worried. Usually throughout the day, he'd text her or stop by her lab to say hello if he could get away. But no communication with him, as well as his quiet behavior last night, puzzled her.
She hoped that the girl's discussing Valentine's Day hadn't upset him. As much as she wanted to share the holiday with him, the first of many, she hoped…she didn't want to place unsettling demands upon him or make him uncomfortable. Having no prior experience with this sort of thing, she knew she would have to wait to see his thoughts on the matter. Truthfully, if he simply wanted to stay in and watch Star Wars on TV, she'd be happy with that. All that mattered, was that they'd be together.
He'd kissed her gently goodnight, but she could see he was distracted. She knew it must not have been easy for him, pondering their first Valentine's Day and what to do. The fact he was even worried about it was so sweet. She would have to let him off the hook, so that he wouldn't stress about it too much.
Amy was putting away her laundry when she heard three weak knocks at her door. She put the laundry basket down on the dining room table, trotting over to the door and looking through the peephole. Sheldon stood there, looking sweaty and disheveled. She pulled back, opening the door quickly.
"Sheldon? Are you alright?" She asked frantically, noticing at once that he was feverish.
Sheldon slumped forward on her doorframe, and Amy shot her arm out to grab him before he fell over.
"No. I think I've got the flu. I'm so sorry to just barge in on you like this, but I had nowhere else to go." He muttered in a daze.
His strange choice of words made Amy frown. She was his girlfriend. Where else would he go? She thought seriously.
Amy immediately guided him over to the couch, running into her room for a thermometer.
"How did you get here? Did Leonard drop you off?" She asked hopefully, setting the digital timer on the thermometer.
Sheldon shook his head slowly.
"No. I drove myself." He uttered quietly.
Amy stared at him incredulously.
"Sheldon…you're kidding. Why didn't you call me? You're in no condition to drive." She said tenderly.
Sheldon's head lobbed to one side, and Amy gently brought his head back to her.
Chaucer came over to Sheldon, laying his massive paw on Sheldon's thigh as he sat on the couch. Amy smiled, nudging her overgrown baby away.
"Leave him be, Chaucer. Sheldon's not feeling well." Amy cooed to the gentle giant, who walked a few feet away but sat down to keep watch over Sheldon anyway.
Sheldon watched Chaucer with droopy eyes, a feeling of deep love touching him suddenly.
"Open up," She whispered, running her soft hand along his neck gently. Sheldon nodded and opened his mouth, allowing her to insert the thermometer.
His eyes met hers and she could tell at once that he was suffering. His eyes were red rimmed and swollen, the blue bright and the white blood shot. It was no surprise when the thermometer read 103 degrees.
"You have a fever, Sheldon. You poor thing. Come on, I'm putting you to bed." She whispered, helping him up and walking him to her bedroom.
"I'm so sorry to show up like this. Usually Leonard will take care of me when I'm sick. It's a stipulation of the roommate agreement. But he must have discovered I was sick earlier and fled. Coward." Sheldon rambled.
Amy frowned softly.
"Forget about Leonard. I'm your girlfriend. It's my job now to take care of you." Amy said tenderly.
Sheldon stopped walking, staring at her with a strange look upon his face.
"You…you're not upset that I came here this way? Sick? You don't want me to leave?" He questioned, his voice raspy and scared.
Amy frowned again, deeper this time.
"No. Of course not, Sheldon. Who else would take care of you? I wouldn't let you leave now if my life depended on it," She whispered, opening her bedroom door and ushering him inside.
"You're not mad at me?" He asked again, this time with real fear in his voice.
Amy stopped their momentum, reaching up to stroke his cheek.
"No, Sheldon. I promise. I'm glad that you came here. Chaucer and I will take care of you." She promised sweetly, taking his hand in hers and leading him to her bed.
Sheldon stood there, staring at her in a stupor. No one had ever been willing to put up with him while sick. Usually, his friends would rather run a mile than take care of him.
Amy left Sheldon by the side of the bed, pulling off her decorative pillows and laying them on the chair by the patio door. She yanked off the comforter before fluffing the pillows. When she returned to Sheldon, he was wobbling on his feet. Unbuttoning his buttons, she slid off his dress shirt and tie, placing them on the chair as well.
"Can you unbuckle your belt?" She whispered shyly, and Sheldon nodded as he attended to the task. Sliding the leather through the loops of his pants, he pulled it free and handed it to Amy. She deposited it on top of his growing pile of clothes.
"Pants?" She asked as well, and he lowered his hands down to unbutton and unzip his trousers. He leaned on her as he stepped out of them and handed them to her, leaving him in his boxers and a white undershirt.
"Okay…get in bed. I'm going to the bathroom to get you some medicine." She said softly.
Sheldon obeyed her obediently, sliding in between her soft sheets in gratitude. His eyes rolled back as he turned his face into her pillow, inhaling her delicious scent.
"Have you eaten dinner yet?" She whispered, returning with a few items of medicine in her hands. She opened up a new tab of what looked to be 2 Nyquil, along with some vitamin C.
Sheldon coughed violently, his lungs sounding watery.
"Swallow these." She said gently, depositing the pills and a cup of water in his hand. He did as he was told, Amy stroking his forehead tenderly.
"No. My throat hurts. I don't have an appetite. I haven't eaten since breakfast," He admitted, answering her previous question.
Amy shook her head, upset at his not taking care of himself.
"I'm going to make you some soup. I have ingredients on hand for homemade chicken noodle. I just have to defrost some chicken breast. Can you wait about an hour?" She asked gently, stroking his hot forehead.
Sheldon gazed at her with adoration. She wasn't turning him out into the cold, forcing him to fend for himself in his sick state. She wasn't running out the door, escaping to a fourteen hour Planet of the Apes movie marathon so that she wouldn't have to deal with him. She wasn't whining or grumbling about him ruining her night and coming over here.
She was…Amy. Kind, generous Amy. And he loved her. So, so much.
"I can wait. Thank you." He whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. Amy knew he was talking about more than just soup. His gratitude was clear and so was the fact that he trusted her. Amy felt tears tickle her throat at the loving way he was gazing at her.
"Okay. Lie back and try to sleep. I'll bring you the soup when it's ready, alright?" She whispered, leaning forward to kiss his forehead.
"Alright." Sheldon echoed, closing his eyes as he savored her kiss. Her cool, gentle lips on his overheated skin felt like Heaven.
Amy let him be, allowing Chaucer to remain behind to take care of him.
Sheldon fell asleep within minutes, enveloped by her scent in her warm and comfortable bed.
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"So I booked the flight for March 25th. I'll be with you a whole week, Ames!" Drew said happily, plucking an olive off of his toothpick and popping it in his mouth.
Amy smiled, stirring the soup. After tasting it, she decided to add a pinch more salt.
"I can't wait, Drew. You are going to love it out here. Now that I know your definite dates, I'll put in for a few days off." She said happily.
"Sounds great, babycakes." He joked, taking a sip of his martini. He heard banging on Amy's end of the line, and chuckled.
"What are you doing? It sounds like you're hacking a pig to death over there." Drew snarked.
"Ha Ha. Well, you know me. Put a knife in my hand, and it's anyone's guess." She said in jest. "I'm cutting up some chicken breast. I'm making dinner, for Sheldon." She explained.
"Sheldon is there? Right now? Why didn't you say anything? He is probably dying to get you off the phone." Drew said slyly.
"He's asleep." Amy said distractedly, deboning the chicken.
Drew made a playful growling noise that had Amy rolling her eyes.
"Amy Farrah Fowler…you little Vixen! " He purred.
"No, no…it's not that, you pervert. He's sick. He's running a 103 fever. I've put him to bed and I'm making him soup." She admitted quietly.
Suddenly, Drew turned serious.
"103? That's pretty high. Do you think he needs medical care?" Drew asked in concern.
Amy smiled at her friend's thoughtfulness.
"No, I doubt it. I gave him some Nyquil. I'll see how he does through the night; if his fever breaks. He needs some nourishment, though. He hasn't eaten all day. I'll also give him an alcohol rubdown later." She said softly.
Drew smiled himself, touched at how deeply his friend seemed to love this man.
"You are a regular Florence Nightingale, Sweetie." He whispered, earning a small giggle out of Amy.
"Yeah…that's me." She said softly.
Drew took another olive off the stick, chewing thoughtfully.
"So…about what you emailed me last week. Everything settled?" He asked hesitantly, but he knew if Sheldon was there and she was nursing him that all must be well in that regard.
Amy cleared her throat softly.
"Yes. All settled. It was just a misunderstanding. But…it was pretty bad. I blew everything out of proportion. We talked it over, and everything is good. Better than good." She threw in, her voice tender.
"I'm happy for you, Ames. You deserve to be happy. God knows how much you deserve it. It's your time, now." He said gently.
Amy laughed ironically.
"You know, I still have trouble believing that I am someone's girlfriend now. And not just someone. Dr. Sheldon Cooper. He is so amazing, Drew. I know that outwardly, he seems a handful. But truthfully? I'd have him no other way. He is perfect. For me, anyway."
Drew crinkled his lips to stave off impending tears.
"Amy…I wish I could find someone to love like you have. I'm so lonely." Drew admitted.
Amy turned the soup down, going to the high top stool at the kitchen counter to have a seat.
"Drew…I'm sorry. I had no idea how lonely you were. I'm sorry that I had to leave you, as well." Amy said regretfully.
Drew waved his hand in dismissal.
"Aw, come on Ames. You couldn't stay in Boston just to be my home girl. You have a life to lead. I'm so proud of you. Besides…if you hadn't left, you never would have met Sheldon." He said seriously.
Amy pondered that.
"Yeah. You're right. But I still miss you, Drew." She said sadly.
"I miss you too, kiddo." He said fondly.
Amy sighed heavily, her eyes roaming towards her bedroom.
"Drew…you will find someone to love one day. Sooner than later, I hope. You deserve it, too." She said lovingly.
Drew chuckled, downing the rest of his drink.
"Maybe. Until then, I can dream, right? I mean, if it happened to you so magically, perhaps there is hope for us all." He said.
Amy smiled.
"Yes. There is hope. I promise."
The friends were silent a moment before Drew decided to turn the topic back to something happier.
"So, how are your new girlfriends?" He asked curiously.
Amy thought of Penny, Bernadette, and Emily with fondness.
"They are all amazing women. Funny, warm. Beautiful. Penny is a sales rep with a Pharmaceutical company, Bernadette is a microbiologist, and Emily is a Dermatologist. We had a girl's night last Friday, and I enjoyed myself so much. I'm not used to being around women in a social setting. Funny enough, it wasn't awkward at all. We found so many things to talk about. They're all quirky in their own way, so I don't feel so isolated." Amy admitted.
Drew smiled warmly.
"Good for you, Ames. I can't believe that two months ago, your life was so different." He said, shaking his head.
Amy sighed heavily.
"I know. Sometimes…I think I'm going to wake up from this dream." Amy said quietly.
Drew sighed dramatically.
"To sleep, perchance to dream…for in that sleep, what dreams may come…" He quoted richly.
"I'll call you soon. Get some rest, Shakespeare." She said fondly.
"Will do, my dear. Take care of your love." He said gently, disconnecting the call.
Amy sat there for a moment, thinking about Drew's words.
Her love…he certainly was that.
Filling a bowl with some soup, she set it on a tray and brought it to her room. Sheldon was awake, staring at the ceiling with his eyes open.
"Hi. Did you sleep at all?" She asked softly, coming to sit on the edge of the bed carefully.
Sheldon blinked heavily, his quick nap leaving him a bit dazed. Apparently, he hadn't slept enough. Mover closer to him Amy tucked a napkin in his undershirt to catch any spills.
Ready to eat some soup?" She asked gently.
Sheldon nodded, barely able to speak.
"Here…sit up." She ordered softly. Sheldon obeyed, reclining against the pillows. "Open up." She whispered.
Sheldon accepted the soup, chewing and swallowing gratefully.
"Wow. That's…delicious." He rasped, his stuffy nose distorting his voice.
He sounded positively awful. Amy frowned.
"Sheldon, when did this happen? I was at your apartment last night and you were fine." She pointed out.
Sheldon nodded wearily.
"It usually comes on quickly. Always has." He whispered, his eyes drifting downward.
Amy didn't know if he was remembering something, or just tired. She touched his cheek to get back his attention.
"Hey? Let's finish this so that you can lay back down, okay? I want to give you an alcohol rubdown to lower your fever." She said gently.
Sheldon nodded, too tired to argue. After he struggled to swallow the delicious soup, Amy had ordered him back into a reclining position so that she could tend to him. He lay there as still as a statue, having never before been treated to such care. He couldn't remember Mary ever doing this; oh, she was a wonderful mother and had always tended to him when sick, but this seemed to be above and beyond the call.
He was simultaneously chilled and sweating, his body not being able to regulate itself. Amy rubbed his limbs, neck, forehead and chest with the alcohol/cold water mixture in hopes his fever would lessen. It did lower to 102, which she was happy about, but what he really needed was rest. She stayed with him for hours, finally stumbling out into the living room around two am to make herself a cup of tea. She must have fallen asleep on the couch, because the next thing she knew a loud, piercing scream woke her. Jumping groggily to her feet, it took her a moment to gather her bearings. At first, she thought she had dreamt the sound. Until she heard it again, this time more pronounced and terror stricken.
"Help me!"
Sheldon.
Chaucer sprang into action hot on Amy's heels, also disturbed about the scream as they both made their way to Amy's bedroom. She flicked on the table side lamp to see Sheldon tossing about in her bed, red faced and agitated. The t shirt she had put back on him after his alcohol rubdown was soaked with sweat. He wouldn't stop screaming, his eyes closed to some hidden horror that only he could see.
Amy's mind supplied that he must be having a nightmare, probably due to the fever. She wanted to wake him, but didn't want to upset him further or risk him hitting her by mistake in his troubled state. She knew from personal experience that while in the midst of a night terror, the sufferer was prone to hit or bite anyone trying to calm them down.
She gently tried to rouse him, caressing his cheek tenderly.
"Sheldon? Sweetheart, can you hear me?" She asked softly.
Sheldon shook his head frantically, his eyes tightly closed and loud cries escaping his lips.
"Don't put me in there. I'll tell Mama. I'll tell Meemaw." He screeched, throwing out his arms and pushing at some unseen force.
Amy grabbed his hands gently, staying them as he continued to struggle.
"Let me out! Let me out! I hate you!" He cried, his already raw voice coughing and sputtering as he fought.
Amy began to cry, fear gripping her heart at what was happening to him. Was he having a simple nightmare? Or was this something more sinister…a flashback of some sort, related to his PTSD? She sat on the bed, yanking Sheldon gently onto her lap as he continued to struggle. She wrapped her arms around him, trying to calm him down. He had said he would tell Mama, and Meemaw. Did this have something to do with his brother? Or perhaps…his father?
Put him in where? Let him out of where? She wondered in horror, not wanting to even think about it.
Suddenly Sheldon calmed, tears streaming down his face as he cried. His lungs sounded wheezy and frail.
"Why do you hate me?" He sobbed, turning over in Amy's lap as he cried, still asleep. He wrapped his arms around Amy's hips in a bruising grip as the shudders wracked his body.
Amy sat there stunned, holding onto him with a death grip as he relieved himself of his demons unknowingly. This was so much worse than the night of the bonfire. This was ten times worse. Whatever he'd experienced, it must have terrified him to stay with him all of these years.
"I'm here. I'm here," She comforted him, leaning down to kiss he temple and stroke his face. He was soaking wet, his fever still not broken. Amy rocked him back and forth as his sobs turned into hiccups, and he once again succumbed to a deep sleep.
Amy looked towards the foot of the bed, where Chaucer was watching the scene with fear. His pointed ears were tilted in confusion as Amy met his curious eyes.
"Sheldon needs us, Chaucer." She whispered, tears streaming down her face as Chaucer tentatively walked over to them and sat down, placing his paw on Sheldon's chest. Amy reached over to rub her dog's face.
"Good boy." She cooed, stroking his cheek and ear. Chaucer laid his head on the bed next to them, his eyes darting around.
Amy kept watch over Sheldon for the rest of the night, her head pounding from crying so much. Around dawn, she eased herself out of his arms and walked over to the patio doors, staring out at the water.
Something dreadful had happened to Sheldon, she was sure of it. The pain and mistrust he carried around like a shroud was obvious. He was beginning to falter under the weight, and Amy was relieved and optimistic that he was now in therapy seeking help for it. Perhaps that is what triggered this outburst.
She didn't know what he discussed with Dr. Corbin in therapy. He hadn't shared much with her, and she didn't feel comfortable asking him about it. But it was obvious something was dredging up the pain of his past. She could only wait for him to come to her about it. Until then, she'd be patient. She loved him. There was no other option.
Amy slid down on the floor up against the patio doors, Chaucer coming to sit in front of her.
"What was that?" She asked her pet, the pair of them watching a sleeping Sheldon with concern.
Chaucer sprawled across the floor next to Amy, his massive paws crossed as he kept watch over Sheldon. Amy petted his head tenderly.
"You love him, don't you boy?" Amy cooed, unsurprised when Chaucer whined quietly.
"I love him, too." She whispered.
She was so tired. Before she knew it, her fatigue and grief over Sheldon's pain had caught up with her and she fell asleep right where she sat.
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Sheldon awoke as the sun streamed through the doors of the patio. Squinting, his eyes zeroed in on the alarm clock which read 8:17 am.
He turned over, shivering, and tried to focus. Two lumps on the floor were blocking his view of the lake outside, and he realized with growing alertness that they were Amy and Chaucer.
What were they doing on the floor? He wondered in a daze.
Sitting up quickly, Sheldon shuddered as the dizziness overwhelmed him.
"Amy?" He called out fearfully, too weak to rise from the bed.
Amy stirred, opening her eyes. She sat up, focusing on Sheldon with concern.
"What happened? Why are you on the floor? Are you alright?" He asked frantically, his eyes wild and his hair plastered to his forehead.
Amy rose quickly, coming to sit on the bed next to him.
"Shhh…I'm fine. I must have fallen asleep." She said soothingly, pushing his hair off his brow and stroking his face gently.
Sheldon narrowed his brows.
"On the floor?" He questioned worriedly. Amy's gentle touch was calming him down, and he began to breathe more steadily.
"I came in to check on you. You were having a nightmare." She said quietly, not elaborating.
Sheldon's previous calm morphed into fear again as he sat up quickly.
"A n-nightmare?" He questioned shakily, his fear filled eyes locking with hers. "What did I say? What did I do?"
Amy felt him begin to tremble, the bed shaking minutely.
All of a sudden, Sheldon sat up quicker than The Flash.
"Did I…hurt you?" He moaned fearfully, checking her for signs of damage. "Is that why you were on the floor?"
Amy shook her head rapidly, trying to dispel his fears.
"No, Sweetheart. No. Not at all. You didn't lay a finger on me, I promise. I just came to the window to look out, and must have fallen asleep when I sat down. I was really tired." She reassured him.
Sheldon stared at her silently.
Sweetheart. She had called him Sweetheart.
The term of endearment filled his brain, the sweet sound of it resonating against his eardrums in the now silent room.
Amy realized her slip, and she looked down shyly to where Sheldon's fingers were gripping her arm. When she looked up again and met his stunned gaze, she smiled tentatively.
"You're still running a fever, I can tell. You need to stay in bed today and rest. I'll call the University and tell them we're not coming in today." She whispered.
Sheldon's eyes followed her as he watched her go, closing heavily as soon as she and Chaucer exited.
She was taking such good care of him, that he wanted to cry. If he had hurt her in any way, he wouldn't be able to bear it.
Amy returned a few moments later, carrying a tray full of tea, toast, and orange slices. Sheldon stared at the bounty with groggy eyes.
"I want you to eat something so that I can give you more medicine. Do you need to use the bathroom?" She asked tenderly, ready to help him up.
Sheldon shuddered suddenly, nodding his head. Why that question upset him, she didn't know. She helped him to the bathroom, waiting outside patiently for him and helping him back to the bed. She fed him again, holding the cup to his lips to sip and placing the food in his mouth gently. Sheldon ate slowly, his eyes turning to hers and gazing at her with confusion.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked her softly, his voice sounding truly stumped.
Amy swallowed deeply, shocked at his question.
"How could I not do this, Sheldon?" She answered truthfully, running her palm down his still warm cheek.
Sheldon turned into her touch, his stubbly flesh abrading her hand. Amy didn't care about any of that, as long as he was safe and comfortable.
After she fed him and he had taken another round of meds, Amy left the room for a bit and Sheldon eased back down. He was terrified to think he might have hurt her with his outburst last night. He didn't remember his nightmare, although he had a good idea what it was about.
Sighing shakily, he automatically pulled up the covers when Amy returned to the room carrying a large basin, some towels, and a bottle of body wash.
"You're not strong enough to stand up in the shower. I thought I'd give you a sponge bath." She said quietly.
Sheldon's eyes widened as Amy sat down on the bed.
"A sponge bath?" He repeated numbly.
Amy smiled gently.
"Just relax." She whispered.
Sheldon closed his eyes and nodded as Amy pulled back the covers.
"May I remove your shirt?" She whispered respectfully, waiting until Sheldon gave her the all clear before she attempted to touch him.
Sheldon nodded, his eyes glued to hers.
"Yes." He rasped, leaning forward for her to remove the soiled garment.
Amy's eyes raked over him slowly, but there was no lust in her gaze. Only caring, concern, and…something else that Sheldon was afraid to name. He found that he had no reservations in letting her touch him. If anything, it was the one thing he wanted most in the world at that moment.
"Don't worry; the water is very warm. I checked it with a bath thermometer." She assured him, missing his wide eyed stare at such important information.
"T-thank you." He whispered, gulping.
Amy nodded, smiling at her boyfriend tenderly.
"You're welcome." She murmured.
She ran the washcloth that was filled with warm water and the scent he loved so much…the scent of her…across his arms and underneath them. Over to his pecs, down to his abs and around to his waist. As soon as she washed a part of him, she dried it with a soft towel to ensure his comfort. Sheldon moaned quietly at her ministrations, having never been touched so gently before. He opened his eyes and watched her as she attended to her task, her beautiful eyes knitting in concentration and focus. She ran the cloth down his legs, pausing to wash his feet and each toe gently. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, thanking his lucky stars for whomever was responsible for bringing her into his life.
"Sit up." Amy whispered in his ear, happy when he did so immediately and laid his head on her shoulder. Lathering up a small amount of wash in her hands, she massaged it through his hair tenderly. Her short nails scratched at his scalp, causing shivers of delight to race up and down Sheldon's spine. He whimpered at how nice it felt, kissing the shoulder that his head rested upon in gratitude.
Amy smiled, her heart full at Sheldon's sweet gesture.
"Lean your head back." She cooed, taking the warm water in a cup and running it over Sheldon's head so that the suds would drain off into the basin. Rubbing his hair carefully dry with a towel, she smiled at him when he sat forward again and gazed at her softly.
"Are you okay?" She whispered, her eyes full of concern and tenderness.
Sheldon's breath caught in his throat.
"Yes." He answered, his voice a mere whisper.
Amy nodded, encouraged that he was feeling a little better.
"Good. I'll wash your clothes if you put this robe on." She said, and Sheldon nodded.
"Okay." He whispered quietly, and Amy turned her back to give him privacy as he took off the remainder of his clothing.
She turned back around when he gave her the all clear, picking up his clothes and the basin.
"I'll be right back. I'm going to start the washer and bring you something more substantial to eat." She promised, offering him a gentle smile before exiting the room.
A feeling of overwhelming love surrounded him as he watched her leave, and he began to cry. No one had ever treated him so delicately before, with such…love. His heart felt near to bursting and he knew something huge was coming. What, he had no idea. He was too tired and too sick to ponder it now.
Amy returned thirty minutes later with some more of that delicious soup. She settled on the bed next to him, turning on the TV.
"What do you feel like watching?"
"I don't mind." He whispered back, trying to relax although his coughing wouldn't abate.
"Oh, my goodness. Look what's on." Amy said gently, settling back on the pillows beside him.
Sheldon turned towards the TV, blinking his eyes.
"The Princess Bride?" He asked.
Amy chuckled sweetly.
"Yep. It started only five minutes ago. Good timing. Want to watch this?" She asked happily, settling in closer to Sheldon.
Sheldon gazed at her.
"You aren't worried about getting sick yourself?" He wheezed, heartened when Amy shook her head in the negative.
"No. I've had my flu shot and I never get sick. Like, ever. I have an iron constitution." She laughed softly. "Besides…I want to be here with you. Take care of you. Is that alright?" She asked tentatively.
Sheldon could hardly speak at her kindness. He merely nodded, his lips trembling.
"Okay, then. The Princess Bride it is." She whispered softly. "It looks like number six for you and number thirty-one for me," She said, giggling.
Sheldon looked at her tenderly.
"You remembered our conversation?" He asked in surprise, his deep voice sounding croaky.
Amy reached over and gently rubbed Sheldon's temple.
"Of course, I remember. You know…that was the first day that you began to treat me as a friend. And…it made me think that you were perhaps a bit jealous of Drew." Amy said softly, her mind going back in time to that day.
Sheldon's eyes widened as he too, remembered that day.
"I..I was. I heard you tell him that you loved him. I just assumed…." He trailed off, not wanting to remember his fear about who had previously possessed Amy's heart.
Amy smiled, running her soft palm down his face again.
"You were adorable, you know. All scowling and haughty. I wish you'd known then…you had nothing to fear." Amy said tenderly.
"Neither did you." Sheldon whispered, his eyes lowering to Amy's mouth.
Amy leaned over and kissed Sheldon's forehead.
"Good." She whispered. "Now, let's watch this movie."
Sheldon closed his eyes, savoring Amy's touch.
"As you wish." He whispered.
Amy chuckled, snuggling closer to Sheldon and wrapping her arms around him to keep him warm.
They watched the movie in silence, only laughing or giggling in the appropriate parts. It was more than enough to just be here together; relaxing and healing.
Amy took Sheldon's temperature again, relieved to see his fever had lessened to 101.
"It's coming down. Perhaps another alcohol rub later." She said quietly.
Sheldon nodded.
"Thank you for taking such good care of me, Amy. No one's ever…thank you." He faltered, his eyes filling with tears once the movie was over.
Amy kissed his head.
"I would do anything for you, Sheldon." She said.
"Anything?" He asked, his voice childlike and small.
"Amy laid down on her side so that they were facing each other.
"Anything." She vowed, stroking his cheek.
Sheldon closed his eyes.
Trust her. Believe in her. Allow her to help you…
"Would you…help me fight the monsters that invade my dreams?" He choked out.
Silent tears slid down Amy's face as she gazed unwaveringly into Sheldon's eyes.
"If you let me." She answered softly.
Sheldon bit his lip, his mind catapulting him back to Dr. Corbin's office last week.
Amy watched him as he fought some secret war inside of his mind.
"I'm here for you, Sheldon. Please…let me in." She begged him.
Sheldon reached up and stroked Amy's hair.
"Dr. Corbin and I are discussing my history with my father. He feels my strained relationship with him is what set the tone for most of my…issues." Sheldon said quietly.
Amy didn't blink as she waited for Sheldon to elaborate. When he laid there quietly just staring at her, Amy knew she'd have to prompt him.
"What happened with him?" Amy whispered ventured cautiously.
Sheldon gazed at Amy for a long time, trying to gather the courage to speak the words that would cause him to remember everything. Perhaps if he did, he would begin to heal as Dr. Corbin had stated.
Taking a deep breath, Sheldon blew it out shakily and began to speak quickly.
"When I was twelve years old my Mother, Meemaw, and Missy went to Louisiana for Meemaw's sister's daughter's wedding. They were gone over a week, as they were helping out with the ceremony. I had the flu. It was very bad. I couldn't travel, and…my father stayed home with me. I was running a fever, I had the chills. I was even vomiting, because I couldn't keep food down. My father decided that because I was ill and he couldn't leave me to have his poker buddies over to the house. They were drinking pretty heavily and were being extremely loud. I kept calling my father to bring me something to drink, but it was so loud in the house between them and the country music they had blaring. I got out of bed to get my own drink. When I walked into the living room…" Sheldon gasped, trailing off and trying to catch his breath.
Watching him struggle, Amy bit her lip hard. An invisible force drew her hand to his cheek, as though she instinctively knew what was coming was bad and that he would need her.
"He…my father's friends were sitting around the table in the dining room playing poker. But he wasn't with them at the table. He was on the couch, a woman with red hair sitting on his lap. They were kissing. And…touching each other. I just watched them for a minute, not sure if what I was seeing was real. I had a high fever, after all. But when the woman began to moan, I knew it was real. I grew very nauseous. I started screaming. I yelled at him for bringing that that woman into our house. I screamed that I wanted my mother. He threw the woman off of his lap, stood up, and backhanded me across the mouth and cut my lip, chipping this tooth." He whispered, pointing to his front tooth that had always been a little crooked.
Amy gasped as she imagined how frightened he must have been.
Sheldon continued, and Amy got the impression he was trying to get the words out before he lost his nerve.
"He dragged me into my parent's room. They had a small walk in closet that had a lock on it. I was crying and thrashing around, trying to get free. He…pulled my hair and slapped me in the face so hard to shut me up that I lost my breath. I vomited all over myself. As I struggled to breath, he threw me into the closet and locked it. I pounded on the door for hours, screaming why? Why are you doing this? I'm your son. I was so sick, and I'd missed my afternoon and evening dose of medicine. He never came to check on me or let me out. He kept me in there over twenty-four hours. I fell asleep on and off, aided by my fever. I had to use the bathroom. I ended up wetting my pants. Twice." Sheldon whispered.
"Oh, Sheldon…" Amy cried, her tears running in rivers down her face now. "That's why you don't like being touched or come into contact with germs?" She asked, her voice cracking in pain for him, knowing he had to sit all night in clothing soiled with vomit and urine and how that must have traumatized him.
Sheldon nodded, tears choking him.
"I ended up with pneumonia. My father told my mother that I didn't stay in bed and that I didn't mind him. I had to spend three days in the hospital. I never told her the truth." Sheldon whispered.
"Why not?" Amy sobbed, rubbing his back in soothing circles.
Sheldon closed his eyes.
"I was afraid she wouldn't believe me. And then I was afraid to hurt her. By then, she had gotten so caught up in her religious nonsense and I wondered if she could even understand what he'd done to me. I tried to forget it, but it was impossible. My memory was like a knife, cutting me every single night and making me bleed. Two years later when I was in Germany as a visiting Professor…he suffered a massive heart attack and died instantly. I felt guilty for years, Amy." Sheldon admitted, sobbing.
"Why?" She whispered.
"Because…I had wished he had suffered more. Instantly was too quick; too humane for him." Sheldon sobbed.
Amy suddenly realized the depths of despair Sheldon had suffered all of his life. Not only carrying around the pain of abuse from not only other kids, but his own father, coupled with guilt over being relieved his father had died.
"I'm just as much as a monster as he is, aren't I? What son is pleased when his father dies?" He asked her brokenly.
"Sheldon…that's not true." Amy sobbed.
Sheldon's face crumpled.
"That's why I don't like to drink alcohol. I'm so afraid that I'll turn into him and hurt someone. Hurt you." Sheldon stressed, his face a mask of pain.
Amy frantically shook her head back and forth.
"No, Sheldon. You are not your father. You could never hurt me or anyone else. You're too sweet and kind. Please, believe me." Amy begged, stroking Sheldon's face tenderly.
Sheldon closed his eyes tightly.
"You know what hurts the most? When I was small, say…three or four…I adored him. I looked up to him. I didn't know yet that my gifts were something to be afraid of. I was already so far advanced, and I really thought he would be proud of me. Like I was a superhero or something. But he hated my abilities. He was ashamed of me, and tried to convince people that I was normal. He made me feel like a freak, Amy. It was worse than the kids that bullied me. It was far worse because I…loved him." Sheldon cried, his voice shaky.
Amy couldn't take it anymore; the pain he felt, the way she and Sheldon were so much alike. Longing for a father's love and acceptance, but only finding scorn. Her father had ignored her; making her feel like she didn't even exist. But Sheldon's father had physically and emotionally scarred him.
Amy didn't know which was worse.
Her own dam broke and she began to sob. Through his grief, Sheldon realized what his confession had done to Amy. He reached up and wiped her eyes of the copious amount of tears there.
"Please don't cry for me, Amy." He begged her. "Don't pity me."
Amy pulled Sheldon closer, kissing his lips tenderly. Her own risk of becoming ill be damned. She needed him to see the truth; to believe her commitment was stronger than friendship or sympathy.
"I don't pity you, Sheldon. You brilliant, wonderful man. I love you. I love you so much," She whispered, her voice steady and her gaze penetrating.
Sheldon's eyes seemed to take on a hue never before seen as they gazed at her with surprise. The previously dull grey morphed into the brightest cerulean blue and seemed to sparkle right in front of her eyes.
"Amy…" He murmured softly.
Amy sighed heavily as the repercussions of her actions sunk in. She didn't want to tell him like this; had wanted to wait until Sheldon was ready to hear the words. But lying here against him, sharing his pain…she couldn't stop herself.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. That was very selfish of me. You don't have to say anything. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." Amy rambled, looking down shyly. This wasn't how she had imagined telling Sheldon she loved him for the first time.
Her tears increased when Sheldon cupped her face in his hands, running his thumbs down her cheeks tenderly.
"Look at me." He begged her, his voice desperate. "Please, look at me."
Amy shook her head in embarrassment.
"I can't." She whispered, fearing that she had pushed Sheldon too far, too soon.
"Please, Amy. I need you." He said gently.
Amy took a deep, shuddering breath as she turned her gaze upward. Despite his pain, Sheldon's face was lit up with an inner light that was stunning to witness. Even more remarkable, was the knowledge that she had put that light there.
"I've been searching my entire life for acceptance. No one ever understood me. I almost gave up; I didn't care anymore. Until the day you stumbled onto my doorstep with your faulty key that wouldn't fit in the lock. That key unlocked another door. The door to my heart. Amanda…my sweet, beautiful girl. I love you, too. You have no idea how much." Sheldon whispered, leaning his forehead against hers.
Every ounce of air in Amy's lungs was stolen from her as Sheldon's words penetrated, oozing into every empty crevice in her mind and heart. A deep sob escaped Amy's throat; a culmination of years of loneliness and pain melting away as she gazed into the eyes of the boy who'd saved her with his love. She vowed then and there that she would save him right back.
"You love me?" Amy asked him, needing to know it wasn't merely gratitude he felt.
Sheldon pulled back, his blue eyes boring into hers with surety.
"I love you, Amy. I do." He whispered, his lips shaking tremulously.
Words were no longer needed now, as they would only be superfluous.
Amy leaned forward, taking Sheldon's head in her hands and placing it on her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair soothingly, humming in his ear. Sheldon wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tightly as he could in his weakened state.
"No one will ever hurt you again, Sheldon. I promise." She vowed.
They lay there in the safety of Amy's room, clutching each other. Caressing each other.
Loving each other.
The hours passed, neither one wanting to pull apart. Sheldon fell asleep again, and Amy followed suit. Nothing and no one would ever come between them again.
There would be no demons dropping by the Fowler home tonight.
They wouldn't dare.
A/N – Thank you for reading. It's amazing what the power of love can do, no?