I DO NOT OWN DIVERGENT.

So it's a longer chapter. Honestly, I felt a little awkward writing this one. Somehow I feel like it's cheesy XD. I don't know. So tell me if you think it is cheesy! Please do. But if not, tell me you like it, or don't like it, or whatever. I hope you enjoy this one, though!

TRIS POV….

Oh yes, honeymoon.

Tobias and I decided long ago that we didn't want to go anywhere during our honeymoon. Just being home is nice- no work, no responsibilities. A solid two weeks of nothing- just each other. It's as simple as that. Christina even gives us a few days to ourselves, although she doesn't give us the full amount.

These days are amazing. Eating breakfast at midnight, watching old scary movies. Going out for picnics on a plaid blanket, the fall leaves all around us as we eat sandwiches and lemonade. But we always eventually forget the sandwiches and end up tangled up in each others' arms, smiling and crinkling the leaves beneath us. No, we still haven't done anything other than kissing. But I can still feel my silent need for him growing- every day, even. And I can imagine that the same is happening for him, too.

This scares me. Obviously, it scares me. Why would it not scare me? But I want him so badly. And I trust him, I really do, and I know that Tobias would never take advantage of me. He's waiting for when- if- I'm ever ready.

The bad thing about these two weeks is that we don't really go to town. Like, at all. So at the end of the first week, when the last thing that we have to cook is Ramen noodles, well, Tobias volunteers to go. Especially because he despises Ramen noodles. He says that they remind him of Abnegation food, the plain, wavy noodles molding together simplistically. The train runs by our house at noon, so he leaves me as soon as it runs by so he can get back as soon as possible. And I really don't want him to leave, but I need some time to think. An hour or two of quiet would be nice.

I make myself some tea and sit at the coffee table in the kitchen, the quiet of the house welcoming me. Every day for the past week, I've been holding in a few emotions. My fear, foremost. I've been holding that in the most, mainly because I want to be happy now and not worry about anything. Secondly, I've been restraining my passion. But that's mostly because I'm scared to let it loose. And Tobias is waiting for me to say what I want. But honestly, what I want scares me.

I want Tobias. I want to feel his skin beneath my fingertips, I want to run my hands through his hair. I want to kiss him and be tangled up in his skin with no regrets. And if kissing was all that I wanted, that would be fine and I wouldn't be so scared… but it's not.

I snap my head up from my now- cold cup of tea when the door creaks open.

"Whoa, it sure is quiet in here…" I hear Christina say as she walks in, taking her shoes off at the door. She pauses. "Tris? Where are you?" I guess she hasn't spotted me yet. "God, I hope I haven't walked in on anything…"

I laugh a little at her. "I'm in here, Christina." When she sees me she sighs, relieved.

"Oh hey!" She puts a hand in her hair awkwardly, walking towards me in a few long strides. "Hey.. where's Tobias?" she says as she sits down in front of me.

"We didn't have any more groceries and he despises Ramen, so he went to get some stuff." I shrug at her. "I just stayed back and took some time to think."

Christina looks at me for a minute before replying. "You look… I don't know. Either you're just really deep in thought, you're stressed, or you're worried," she says, raising an eyebrow.

"I guess I'm a little of both."

"What's wrong? The honeymoon isn't going to well?" she asks me, worry lacing her words.

"No, no, that's not it." I smile quietly at her as I brush a lock of hair behind my ear. "It's going really well. Better than I thought it would go."

"So… what's the problem?" Her eyes grow wide. "Please don't tell me you're pregnant, Tris." She places her hands over her face.

I actually manage to laugh a real laugh at her this time. "No! Of course not. We still haven't…"

"Oh. Phew."

"But the problem is kind of… similar to that." I place my head on the table.

"He wants you to be pregnant?" I shake my head no. "You want to be pregnant?" Again, I shake my head. She pauses for a while, thinking. "Ah," she says, leaning back in her chair. "You want sex."

I nod my head slowly against the table.

"Well, I don't see the problem. You trust him, and although I know that you're scared I'm sure that it will be okay, Tris. And plus, you're married, so nothing's wrong with wanting it."

I raise my head and sigh. "I know. I'm just… scared. I still feel like I'm betraying my other baby."

A sad smile forms on Christina's lips. "I think I speak for us all, including your baby, when we say that we want you to be happy. Not in a forceful way, but in a way that… we want you to do what you want to do. And all of us support you. I know you may feel differently sometimes… But if this is what you want to do, then do it Tris."

"What if I get pregnant? I- I don't think I could handle that, Christina."

She shrugs and shakes her head. "I don't think Tobias would let that happen."

…

Christina leaves soon after Tobias gets back, slipping his shoes off at the door. She pats me on the shoulder. "See you two honeymooners later," she says as she clicks the door shut behind her. I smile at Tobias and shrug, and he returns my smile with a sunny one of his own.

This week has been the happiest I've seen him in ages.

I think that he's wanted this for a long time. For us to be married, I mean. For us to finally happy together. And I don't want to ruin his happiness. Our happiness.

"Hey," he says as he sets the groceries, slung across his arms, on the table and gives me a kiss. "I bought us a movie, too." He raises his eyebrows as he pulls out a simple VHS from a grocery sack. P.S. I love you… I raise an eyebrow at him and he shrugs. "It is kinda girly, isn't it?" He shrugs again. "And I don't have the slightest idea about it… but we'll see. If it's worth anything or not, I mean." He rubs the back of his head. Seems… nervous.

I stand up and loop my arms around his shoulders. "You know that I would watch even the most awful, cheesiest movies in the world with you, Tobias," I say, a muted smile on my face as I look up to him. Why am I not nervous?

….

I've always loved the night time, so we wait until it's nice and dark outside until we watch the movie. I can hear the crickets chirping in the open green even inside our house at this time of night. It's very calming to listen to them while I'm sleeping, trying to forget about all of the awful memories of my past… somehow it seem like those days were millennia ago. But they weren't. They were only… what? Two years ago? But somehow I feel like a completely different person now than I was then. I'm still me, but I feel more free. I feel like I'm healing, the open, jagged wounds of my past healing into thick scabs, then fading into scars. But they'll never go away, I'm sure of that. It's just that Tobias is helping them heal.

We make a bowl of popcorn and plop down on our couch, immediately snuggling into each other. I rest my head on his shoulder and he loops an arm around my waist, staring blankly at the screen for a few minutes before kissing me on the head. I hear him sigh deeply.

"What's wrong, hun?" I ask, frowning.

"I'm.." he laughs. "I'm kind of nervous."

"What?" I laugh at him, incredulous.

"Being around you lately.. makes me feel like I'm on fire, you know. And I can't hold it in and I just…" he sighs again. "Nervous."

I wait a few minutes before responding to him, feeling my own nervousness in the pit of my stomach. The movie is actually quite good.

I raise my head from his shoulder and look him dead in the eye. "So you do feel the same way that I do."

He raises his eyebrows but doesn't say anything else.

"Goodness, Tobias, if I knew that you were feeling this way then I wouldn't be trying so hard to keep it in." I place a hand on his cheek. "I want you more every day." My look is dead serious, maybe a little exasperated. but I'm relieved deep down.

I swear I see his jaw drop.

"If I knew that you felt that way then I wouldn't be trying so hard to keep mine in, Tris. I know that you're scared and I didn't want to pressure you into anything. You're still sensitive and everything, and I wanted it to be your decision-"

"God, just kiss me."

He does.

Tobias is here, his calloused hands brushing mine as he leads me to the bedroom. The smell of his skin pressed against mine, my hands in his hair like I've been wanting for days now. The way he talked, the way he acts now, he's been wanting this for as long as I have. I shouldn't've hid it from him, I should've talked to him about it. But right now, tangled up in his skin, I just now realize how much I missed this. How much I missed him.

He's here. And he's mine. I'm his.

…

After, when jagged breaths fill the air, I rest my head against his chest and breathe deeply. My hair is plastered to my forehead, as is his, when I whisper through my lips.

"You have no idea how much I wanted you."

"You have no idea how much I still want you," he says, smiling at me. "Thank you for marrying me."

"Thank you for loving me." I kiss his bare chest and a sigh escapes his body. "Thank you so much."

Hope you enjoyed this one!

~Beff Monster