By Saturday morning, the excitement of the fund-raising party had given way to uncertainty and fear for those fated to confront the Brainchildren.
"Greta had better get here quickly," Francine grumbled. "If I have to wait much longer, my folks will come and drag me off to temple."
"Yeah," said Arthur, "and doesn't it take, like, four hours to drive to Springfield?"
As Mrs. Read laid bowls of oatmeal in front of the impatient, hungry kids, D.W. peeked through the kitchen window again. This time her vigilance was rewarded—a green Volkswagen Beetle pulled up to the curb, its driver's head barely visible.
"It's her," D.W. whispered to the others.
"It's who?" asked her mother.
"Never mind, Mom," said the little girl.
Arthur sniffed the air. "Is that burning socks I smell?"
"Are you sure?" said Mrs. Read. "I don't smell anything, but I'll check it out."
While she descended the stairway to the laundry room, Arthur, Francine, and D.W. slipped quietly out of the house. They found Greta at the steering wheel, her feet resting on the extended gas and brake pedals.
"Wow, Greta," D.W. marveled. "I didn't know you could drive."
"I'm 213 years old," the horse girl told her. "Now get in. We don't have much time."
D.W. occupied the passenger side seat, while Arthur and Francine belted themselves into the back seat. Without further hesitation, Greta hit the switch to roll down her window, then drove away.
Incredulous and afraid for their lives at first, Arthur and Francine soon accepted that Greta could indeed operate a car. "Aren't you afraid the police will pull you over because you look like a little girl?" said Francine.
"Yes," Greta replied. "That's why I chose a Beetle. It makes me look taller."
While they raced down the highway in the direction of Springfield, Lisa was offering a final moment of encouragement to her friend Alan.
"Try not to get hurt," she said, holding the boy's shoulders tightly. "I want to see you again after this is over."
"With any luck, you will," said Alan somberly.
"I wish I could come along, if only to watch," said Lisa. "But I know you won't let me, so…this is goodbye."
Her eyes seemed to glow as she leaned forward and pressed her lips against Alan's.
The kiss lasted only a second, but to Alan it seemed like an entire minute. "Th-thanks, Lisa," he said weakly. "I…I guess you can come, but you have to stay with the police."
"Thanks, Alan!" exclaimed Lisa, and she kissed him again, more firmly.
The honking of a horn was heard from the street. "There they are," said Alan. "It's time."
"Mom! Dad!" Lisa called out. "Alan and I are leaving in a police car."
"That's lovely, dear," said Marge from the kitchen.
"Quiet!" groused Homer. "TV."
Seeing that no one objected, the two kids left the house and boarded the squad car, which was driven by Chief Wiggum and co-piloted by his son, Ralph.
"Are you sure you want to be part of this?" Wiggum asked Lisa. "It may be dangerous, and you're not expendable."
"I'm not afraid," said Lisa. "Not when I'm surrounded by the finest cops Elwood City has to offer."
As Wiggum started down the street, he asked Alan, "Is it true that everybody in Elwood City has five fingers on each hand?"
Alan nodded.
"I think an extra finger on each hand would just get in the way," Wiggum remarked.
"Daddy, look," said Ralph, pointing at a green Volkswagen that had sped past them. "That little girl's driving."
"Yeah, you're right," said Wiggum in amazement. "And she's using her turn signals, too."
Upon arriving near the Springfield Heights Institute of Technology, Greta pulled the Beetle into a Taco Bell parking lot. "We wait here until noon," she declared.
"Taco Bell for our last meal?" said Arthur disappointedly. "Oh, Greta."
"Don't be so pessimistic," Greta scolded him. "The Brainchildren have no interest in you. They only want Alan."
"Can I punch one of them anyway?" asked Francine.
Unknown to them, a dozen Elwood City police officers were taking positions behind trees, bushes, and corners in the vicinity of the Rosen Science Building, in whose basement Frink's lab was located.
Lisa stood next to one of the cops, a rabbit man who kept his ears bound and hidden underneath his cap. "Now remember," the policeman warned her, "at the first sign of trouble, I want you to get the heck away from here, and don't look back."
Lisa nodded her assent. She observed that the police rabbit had a device resembling a black saucer attached to each side of his head. I hope that'll be enough, she thought.
While Greta, Arthur, Francine, and D.W. waited in the fast-food parking lot, a heavyset man with a ponytail waddled up to them and knocked on the car window. Curious, Greta rolled it down.
"Excuse me, young children," said the man peevishly. "You have parked too close to my vehicle, and I cannot get in."
Greta looked over at the beat-up sedan to her left, then back at the roly-poly man. "I'm sorry, sir," she said meekly. "I didn't think it was possible for a man to be so fat."
"Worst insult ever," grumbled the man, walking away with his armload of tacos.
Francine was the first to notice that Alan, his face downcast, was shuffling toward the entrance to the Rosen Building. "I see him!" she exclaimed, pointing.
"Wait for him to go inside," said Greta. "Then we'll jump out and run after him as fast as we can. The less time they have to detect us with their telepathy and enhanced senses, the better."
Seconds later, Lisa was astonished to see a band of four children hurrying past the line of concealed police officers. Upon closer examination, horror replaced her astonishment.
"Oh, my Buddha!" she cried. "I know those kids!"
"Not so loud, Lisa," the police rabbit cautioned her.
"They're friends of Alan," said Lisa earnestly. "They must be going in to rescue him. They don't know you have the place surrounded! I've got to warn them!"
"No!" said the cop, but by the time he stretched out his hand, Lisa had scampered away.
In the lowest floor of the Rosen Building, Greta was leading her companions through a hallway illuminated by flickering, buzzing ceiling lights. "According to my friend on the inside, Professor Frink's laboratory is just around this corner," she half-whispered.
"Who's your friend on the inside?" asked D.W.
"You'll see," said Greta, whose unicorn horn was waxing more solid.
The shouting of a little girl suddenly broke their silence. "Wait!" cried Lisa, running toward them. "It's not safe here!"
Arthur and Francine whirled. "It's Lisa Simpson," Arthur muttered.
"She works for Frink," said Francine. "Can we trust her?"
"Quiet, all of you!" Greta barked.
Hidden to their view, Alan stood before Professor Frink, who wore a triumphant grin.
"I'm here," said the boy, trying to sound brave. "What happens now?"
Frink merely snapped his fingers.
Alan felt his mind float away, caressed by peaceful thoughts of obeying Frink. He knew what was happening—it had happened to him before—but his strength to resist had already faded.
"Excellent," said Frink, stroking the glassy-eyed boy's head.
His will vanquished, Alan could only watch complacently as several young people stepped out of a hidden wing of the laboratory. His sister Tegan—C.V., the bringer of fear—Claire, the telekinetic French girl—Iris, the telepath—Victor, the boy with super senses—April, Sue Ellen's older twin from the future—and Fern, willing agent of the Brainchildren.
"The mind-control helmet placed a post-hypnotic suggestion in his brain," Frink explained to them. "I can turn him on and off at will. It should wear off in a year or two."
"He looks like a zombie," April remarked.
"You're not going to hurt him, are you?" said Fern anxiously.
"Glavins, no," answered Frink.
Smirking with glee, Claire examined Alan's motionless head from all angles. "I command you to kiss me," she said with an air of authority.
Before Alan could step forward and do the deed, Frink put out a hand to stop him. "This is not the time for jokes," he told Claire. "The time for jokes is between 11:15 and 11:45 p.m. on Thursdays, with the enthusiasm and the curbing."
"I don't like him this way," said Tegan, reaching for her barrette. "Let's get it over with."
"Tegan, wait!" said Frink loudly.
The eyes of all the Brainchildren turned to their mentor.
"Before you go postal on your brother's gray matter," said the scientist, "I want to explain to you all why I kept Alan hidden from you for a week."
"You can tell us when we're merged," said Tegan impatiently.
"Scanning Alan's brain gave me an idea for a new invention," Frink went on. "If it works according to specifications, and all my inventions do, it should magnify the powers of any Brainchild who wears it by a factor of ten thousand or more."
Shocked by his incredible claim, the Brainchildren watched Frink reach into a bureau and pull out a metallic helmet, similar in design to the scanning helmet he had used on Alan.
"Ten…thousand?" said C.V. in wonderment.
"I find that hard to believe," said Victor.
"Professor, you're talking about enough power to bring the whole city of Springfield to its knees," Tegan commented. "I'm sorry, but I don't think we're ready for that."
"Very well," said Frink, replacing the helmet. "If you're satisfied with bringing one little boy over to your side, then don't let me tempt you with a device that would enable you to transform the entire population of Springfield into Brainchild sympathizers."
Tegan watched the drawer close around the helmet. Her heart ached for its power. Every man, woman, and child in Springfield, then Elwood City, clamoring for the liberation of all Brainchildren, everywhere…
"Professor, wait!" she blurted out.
Only a few yards away from her, Greta and her crew arrived at the fortified steel entrance with Lisa in tow.
"It's Frink's lab, all right," said Francine sarcastically. "But it's protected by a door. We may as well turn back."
While Greta drew a small object from her pocket, the other kids began to examine the keypad attached to the wall on the right side of the lab door. "There must be hundreds of combinations!" D.W. marveled.
"Trillions," Greta corrected her. "But all we need is one, and I have it right here."
Arthur, Francine, D.W., and Lisa gaped. In the unicorn girl's palm sat a slip of paper, no bigger than a fortune cookie fortune, on which were printed the digits:
172056146307
"I'll punch it in," offered Lisa. With agile fingers she keyed the code, then pressed the Enter button.
Nothing happened.
"Try again, Lisa," said Greta.
Inside the laboratory, Victor cocked his ears. "Somebody's here," he stated.
"You're right," said Iris, pressing her hands to her temples. "I sense four thought patterns."
"But I hear five different voices," said Victor.
She came, thought Fern with relief.
"Whoever they are, they can't stop us now," said Frink, waving the newly invented helmet in front of Tegan's face. "You've always wanted this. Put it on, and become one with thousands of minds."
"It's risky," said Tegan nervously.
"Progress is always risky," said Frink.
Swallowing, Tegan reached out and pressed her fingers to the cold steel of the helmet…
"Uh, shouldn't we welcome our guests first?" Fern suggested.
"Don't you get it?" C.V. snapped at her. "They came with Alan, even though he said he'd come alone. They're not getting through that door."
"It must be the wrong code," said Lisa, pressing the Enter button for the third time with no result.
"Oh, my goodness," said Greta, gazing suspiciously at the paper in her hand. "Was she deceiving me all along?"
"We could try knocking," Arthur suggested.
"Yeah, right," said Francine mockingly. "'Can you come back in an hour? We're not finished torturing Alan yet.'"
"Let me see that paper," said Lisa, snatching the sheet from Greta.
It was all happening simultaneously—Lisa staring thoughtfully at the code; Arthur, Francine, and D.W. pressing Greta for guidance; Tegan slowly, reluctantly lowering Frink's helmet over her head.
"They're trying to get in with the phony access code," said Frink, listening to the faint beeps. "One of us must have leaked it to them."
"Don't look at me," said Fern.
"In a few seconds we will all be a part of the great collective," gloated Frink, rubbing his hands. "All secrets will be revealed. All misunderstandings will be swept away."
"I've got it!" exclaimed Lisa.
"What?" said Greta eagerly.
"If you look closely at this code," said Lisa, "you'll notice that the numbers zero through seven are there, but not eight or nine. Professor Frink does all his arithmetic in base eight, because he has four fingers on each hand. This code is a base eight number, and the real access code is…"
Before she could finish her analysis, a tremendous force swept through her mind, hijacking her thoughts to another plane. Her mouth still open, she stared at Greta with blank eyes.
The unicorn girl looked around at her comrades, every one of whom had become limp and motionless.
"Arthur? Francine? D.W.?"
The little aardvark girl didn't react. Her eyes seemed fixed on a beautiful, invisible ocean.
In the lab, Frink and the Brainchildren had assumed the same robotlike position. Tegan quivered slightly, her hands tightly grasping the helmet on her head.
In the Kwik-E-Mart, Snake the felon stood like a rock, aiming a pistol at the hapless, similarly frozen Apu.
Throughout the streets of Springfield cars slammed into each other, their drivers absorbed by Tegan's amplified will.
Mind control, thought Greta. Whatever's happening in there, I have to stop it myself.
Remembering what Lisa had almost finished saying, she quickly computed the base-ten equivalent of the erroneous code in her head, then typed it on the keypad.
The huge metal door creaked and slid open.
Greta marched inside, her horn glowing brilliantly. She gasped at the sight of Fern with her jaw gaping open, showing no sign of independent thought. Glancing at the other statues, she surmised that Tegan's helmet was responsible for the mental barrage.
Tegan herself, noticing Greta's approach, slowly turned to her while lowering her arms. "Who are you?" she asked the unicorn girl. "Why aren't you affected?"
"My name is Greta von Horstein. I'm immune to telepathy. If you have any more questions, ask Fern."
Startled by the girl's boldness, Tegan focused her attention on Fern's thoughts and memories…
Reaching the end of the dark tunnel, Fern stopped herself at a ledge. The vista before her was unbelievable. A marble stairway led downward into a vast subterranean city, with towers and houses that resembled polished diamonds. An enormous glasslike panel attached to the ground above provided light to the metropolis.
"Welcome to Unicornutopia," said Greta to her friend. "Now that you've seen it, I may as well introduce you to my parents."
The von Horsteins treated Fern to a sumptuous breakfast, then listened eagerly to everything she had to share.
"You speak of gifted children who are hidden away by human society," said Mrs. von Horstein. "In the world of the unicorns we encourage the talents of our children. If the gifts of your so-called Brainchildren are not appreciated by their fellow humans, then they are welcome to come and dwell with us."
The unicorn woman's statement filled Fern with hope. The Brainchildren living among the unicorn people? Why not? It's got to be better than hiding from the authorities.
Tegan, to her surprise, found the notion appealing.
Looking into the minds of Arthur, Francine, and D.W., she learned of their adventures before the Unicorn Council and during the time of Ragnarok, the end of the world according to unicorn lore.
It's fantastic, she thought. I've got to let the other Brainchildren know.
She quickly lifted the helmet from her head, and replaced her barrette.
Fern shook her head, blinked, and smiled elatedly. Claire began to mutter to herself, "Unicorns…unicorns…mon Dieu."
"Sweet mother of glavin," said Frink reverently. "There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in my philosophy."
Fern stepped up to Tegan and passed her hand over the helmet, which now crackled with static electricity. "I may have your personality," she said quietly, "but that doesn't mean I have to go along with your plan—not when I've found a better alternative."
"I understand," said Tegan with a gentle smile.
"Wait, wait!" said Victor. "You're not seriously thinking of moving us all to Unicorn City."
"Why not?" C.V. responded. "I mean, did you see that breakfast buffet?"
"Please consider it," Tegan urged her friends.
Everyone in the room—Frink, April, C.V., Claire, Iris, Victor, Tegan, Fern, Arthur, Francine, D.W., and Greta—fell into silent contemplation.
Then Claire spoke up. "I have considered," she said simply.
With a gesture of her finger, she caused the power-enhancing helmet to fly out of Tegan's hands and into her own. She wasted no time in clapping it onto her own head.
"What are you…" Frink began to say.
Her eyes lighting up sinisterly, Claire turned her gaze toward Greta. What happened next, happened so rapidly that the others were hardly aware of it.
The unicorn girl suddenly flew backwards at tremendous speed, smashing into the rear wall with the force of a bullet…
to be continued