This is the Tamora-Pierce-ified version of a 'Larry' joke I got in an email the other day.
Sorry for not updating in…well, ages, but I'm prioritising schoolwork. Exciting stuff, right? I'm finding college quite busy, so I've had to cut back on having a life. My teachers had better be proud. :P
Note: This joke could be considered ever so slightly inappropriate, but, quite honestly, you see worse things in high-school corridors :P
"We hearts of mountains are sedentary beings," remarked Luvo. "I only hope this voyage proves successful, and you find the stone for which you search."
"It's hardly a voyage, Luvo," said Evvy. "We just need to buy these horses to make the trip more comfortable. Unless you'd rather walk, that is." She shot a sideways glance at Luvo, who, in his sling, remained silent. Meeting a rock with a sense of humour was less likely than it sounded.
"Well, at least you're not going by water," said Briar, walking alongside, in a tone that was almost too cheerful. Evvy grimaced, remembering her first, and hopefully last, journey across the ocean, and stuck her tongue out at her friend.
Luvo interjected. "Evumeimei, you should treat Briar with more respect – he is your elder." Evvy opened her mouth in a good-natured protest, but Luvo cut her off. "Briar made a valid point."
Evvy and Briar exchanged a look, eyebrows raised. The plant-mage shrugged. "I've got some stuff to do, so I'll leave you to enjoy each other's company." He flashed Evvy a wink before strolling off casually – no doubt in search of some hapless corner girl, she thought wryly. Evvy watched his retreating back, thinking of the fun she would have trying to explain horse-buying to Luvo.
She approached a bay tethered to a hitching post near the centre of the town square. It had a kind eye, and she patted it affectionately, before looking at the vendor questioningly. He barely glanced at her, occupied as he was with other customers, simply waving a knotted hand in her direction, indicating that she could look the horse over.
Evvy knelt down and began to feel the horse's legs, looking for any conformational faults or injuries. She sensed Luvo paying attention, and braced herself for the question which would no doubt come her way shortly. She was not disappointed.
"Evumeimei," asked Luvo, "why are you running your hands all over its body?"
Evvy, who had moved from the horse's legs to its rump, replied, "It's a way of checking that the horse is healthy and able to work." She walked round to the front of the horse, running a hand down its shoulders to its chest. "If I find that it's in good shape, I'll try and buy it."
There was a pause. Then…
"Evumeimei," asked Luvo with interest, "why does that young lady wish to purchase Briar?"