The ghost of the past has returned! Meaning, I am back to continue this story that has been left abandoned for far too long. . . again! You wouldn't believe the obstacles getting in the way. I will admit the updates may take a while due to my lack of resources, but rest assured this story is up and running! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter that has been longing to be read. You guys may hate me at the end of this chapter, or crave to know what happens next, but I'll let you guys be the judge of it. Btw, thank you so much for all those authors and readers that still care to follow me and this story! Very much appreciated because of this it is my motivation to keep writing.

Chapter 25: Fuck My Life

Whoever knew the thirst would be real! Vlad and I had already sucked the life out of two deer! Standing before their shallow bodies didn't even make me cringe. It only made me feel powerful and human side fear me. I was slowly beginning to lose a sense of who I was. At times, I felt I was a demon like my father, and other times I felt angelic like my mother. So, you can say I keep flipping from vampire to human and that can be very overwhelming. One minute you're punishing yourself for doing the unspeakable, and then the next you're praising yourself for such a great hunt. Is this what it's like to be bipolar?

"Alexa?" I had forgotten that Vlad had been standing before me on the other side of the empty prey. My head flinched upwards to acknowledge him. His eyebrows were scrunched up in wonder of what was going through my head. I barely shook my head as if I was trying to keep him from entering my mind.

"What's on your mind?" He kept trying to speculate my behavior. At that moment, I didn't feel like pretending.

"Do you ever fear yourself?" I asked him in a low whisper. He let the question sink in.

"At first, I hated what my father had turned me into because I couldn't control my thirst. Looking back now, I feel like our father was trying to train me to be like him and take over. To his despair, I became accustomed to the lifestyle and learned to cope with the fact that I was going to live forever and succumb to the temptation of blood, but it didn't necessarily always have to be human blood." By the end of his speech, he had turned to get lost in the light of the moon. I couldn't help, but express sympathy for him. He was taken from his life at a young age, by his own father, with no other choice than to live with it. Although, somehow, he had found the forte to prevent himself from submitting to the demons our father hailed.

"What made you gain such control?" His eyes were still lingering on the moon.

"Mum," was all he said. A slight shiver had run up my spine. Then, my emotions had geared themselves into guilt. I had caused the death of the one inspiration that saved him from his darkness. Yet, there he stood; ready to pounce on anything, or anyone, that threatened me. As if my guilt couldn't have grown worse, Vlad had made a remark that, not only made the human side of me blush, but made my heart fall down to my stomach.

"You remind me of her," he whispered. I couldn't tell if his eyes held sorrow or animosity. It wasn't enough to keep me from asking my next question.

"What was she like?" I heard myself whisper. Then, his gaze fell from the moon onto me.

"She was beautiful: very angel like. Father believed the Gods had sculpted her just for him and only him." By that time, I began to gaze at the moon.

"He really did love her," I said as a statement, but he replied as if I had asked.

"Yes," he said in monotone.

"Imagine if you were to lose Mason," he stated, but I was the one to then take his statement as a question. Yet, I couldn't respond because images of Mason being shredded into pieces flashed through my mind. I had always known there was going to be the possibility one of us would die, if not, both. I knew it'd be a death from the war and, if not, it would be a death from the unbearable loss of the one person you'd swore you love for eternity: Either one would be too painful to endure.

We should head back before Mason begins a search party for us," he said with a chuckle. My eyes flew open wide to the thought of it.

"He wouldn't?" I squeaked than what I meant to. My reaction made him laugh lightly.

"No, he wouldn't, because as soon as he were to get word that you were in any type of danger or hurt he'd waste no time in gathering up people. He'd be gone within seconds to find you. How would a normal person phrase it?" he paused for a second and answered his own question.

"He'd be gone in a heartbeat." Vlad smiled as the moonlight stricken his face. I couldn't help return a genuine smile.

So, we raced into the night to get back home. The wind felt cool and soft as it grazed my skin from the speed I never expected to be possible for any regular person. I was at one with nature and that alone made me feel at peace. I had a full blown smile that showed my pearly teeth and fangs as Mason's statue came into view. He stood tall with his arms entwined across his chest, which made his biceps appear bulky. His feet were distances apart paralleled to his shoulders. His eyes were a light blue-green that were complimented with a smoldering smile. It took my human breath away. I ran up to him as he welcomed me back with arms wide open ready to pull me into a tender embrace.

"How did it go, Amor?" he spoke into my hair that hovered over my ear. My heart took a quick beat as he called me 'love' in Spanish. He sounded even more breath taking than any person should be allowed to express. Darn his vampire charms!

"I had fun! There's nothing better than some family bonding," I replied as I flashed him and my brother a non-fang smile. They both returned the affection before Vlad disappeared into the house in search for his 'Amor'.

"I can't wait to go hunting with you," Mason whispered into my ear since we were still holding one another. He then pulled his head back to welcome me again with a fierce kiss. I could feel how much he missed being by my side.

Don't let yourself be fooled!

What do you mean?

His love is not fully committed to you! (My conscious hissed. Did my conscious just hiss at me?)

That's not true!

You'll see.

As soon as I heard those last two words, my stomach twisted into a knot. Mason sensed my worry and broke our kiss. I opened my eyes to get caught in his filled with worry themselves. Immediately, I looked down, but he was quick to lift my chin up to look into his eyes again. As if the moment couldn't have been ruined anymore, Kayla burst out onto the back patio with angst in her eyes as well. Without a second to process her demeanor, she yanked Mason and I back into the house. Vlad stood still by the stairs blocking the entrance of the house. Mason then became rigid and Lexi popped out from the side of the living room that led to the kitchen. She sprinted towards me to pull me behind her and Malick leaving a stone statured Mason in the middle of the room. Kayla suddenly stood in front of him, but her head was turned to the sliding glass doors that led to the backyard.

I gasped and jumped an inch back when I caught the image of a stunning blonde female-vampire standing on the other side of the glass door with regret consuming her deep blue eyes. Her hair was flowing to her right side from the wind like a gentle river stream. She had a heart-shaped face with lightly thick lips. I could confuse her for a Goddess. She didn't even need make-up. We shared the same body figure, and I immediately grew envious of her.

She didn't notice my gawking because her eyes were occupied on someone else. I followed her gaze to only find out her attention was directed towards Mason. He seemed to be mystified as well by her presence. It was as if they were communicating with each other's eyes because suddenly Mason made his way to the sliding door. Kayla had a look of despair when her eyes followed Mason. He slid the door open, and for once time moved slowly as I witnessed the one scene I wished to have never come across.

The Goddess wrapped her arms around Mason's neck and pulled herself into him for a longing kiss. It wasn't until I noticed Mason went from being still too slowly submerging his lips with hers when my heart fell to my stomach and my stomach fell as well with it. I had become paralyzed: unable to drift my eyes away from their yearning kiss.

Vlad was suddenly behind me, cradling me, and then he transported us into my room. I remained still without blinking as my tears moisturized my eyes. Vlad was mumbling apologies while he tried catching every tear that dripped from my bottom eye lids. I knew Vlad had then grown angrier because his hands began to tremble a bit. Thankfully, my brother disappeared, and my body involuntarily rushed to the closet to grab a hold of random clothing to stuff my duffle bag with. I threw in a few important girl necessities as well in the fastest speed I could muster. My adrenaline was bursting through my half dead body.

I was then attempting to teleport myself to the one place I belonged: a place where there was no such thing as the supernatural to consume me. There was only one place I could and always called home! With my eyes closed, the image of my Mom and Aunt Maggie's room at my grandparent's home appeared. When I opened them, my body collapsed onto the floor as my knees caught my fall. Eventually, my adrenaline slowed down, and my body found its way onto my mother's old bed. It held the scent of warm vanilla. I curled my body into a fetal position as I sunk my head into a soft pillow. It was then that I was finally able to sob as the memory of Mason and the Goddess's kiss replayed in my mind over and over again.

This can't be! How could he? We're soul-mates!

Unfortunately, my conscious decided to remain silent. I was left alone to my own desolation that seized to pull me in deeper. In that instant, soul mate and love meant nothing to me. They were only empty words, promises, and meaningless thoughts. I should have known better than to let myself fall into empty space where I trusted Mason would be there to catch me, but instead he caught the lips of someone else. In the first place, he had been against the idea of me and him being soul-mates. Not only that, he was against me becoming a bloodsucking leech. He had been sensitive to the subject of the empty seats and roommate I had felt I was replacing. I had then realized that I wasn't replacing just anyone, but substituting Mason's one and only love until the time was right for her to take her throne back. I felt sick to my stomach once the mental image of the Goddess and Mason came back to haunt me. More sobs were formed.

Suddenly, my phone began to announce an incoming call. The caller I.D. showed Mason's name and picture flash on the screen. I shut my eyes tight recoiling from the thought of him. Unfortunately, he wouldn't give up ringing me up. For the first three missed calls, I laid still in my fetal position debating whether I should answer in order to hear him out, tell him to fuck off, or do both. Either or, any attempt he had to make it right was not going to suit me because the only emotions that were burning in me were bitterness and sadness. There was no changing my mind in forgiving him. It wasn't until the fourth call had kept being stubborn that had I decided to answer, but did not greet my tormentor on the other end.

"Alexa? Alexa?" he kept panting.

"Alexa, please answer me. I can explain it to you. Please hear me out!" he pleaded, but my bitterness took control.

"I don't want to listen to you anymore," I stated with ice in my voice that had scared the shit out of the human side of me. I had too much power in my voice with a certain sternness no one would wish were directed towards them.

"Don't you ever call me again," I sneered.

"You got what you always wanted, so leave me alone. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time you leave me! Enjoy your reunion! It's pretty obvious you've been aching for it!"

"Alexa, please, you don't understand. I-"

"You're right. I don't understand, nor care to! You made your choice as soon as you kissed her back! I know now how much I mean to you, and I won't burden you or anyone anymore!" Then, I hung up on him without saying good-bye because a part of me still wanted him, but most of me was too devastated to even care for such formalities. Besides, we had grown past it.

I crushed my phone in my hand, so they wouldn't be able to locate me through my phone's GPS. After, I put up my shield, so Kayla wouldn't be able to see me in the near future for clues as to where I had disappeared to, my scent, and mind as well. Alone was all I needed to be to try to regain some self-control, but the night only seemed to drag on. I ran to the billiard room. My grandpa's scotch and my apple juice remained in the glass cups. Without hesitation, I walked behind the bar to pour myself a shot, but then ended up drinking a whole bottle of scotch to drown my sorrows.

Finally, I couldn't bring myself to think or care anymore. All I wanted then was to fall asleep, only to wake up and realize it had just been a bad dream, but I knew it was going to be too good to be true. I chose to erase him from my memories; however, my human side clutched on to him tightly while Vlad's words from earlier in the night taunted me: 'Imagine if you were to lose Mason.' I had become too drunk to fight it away. Either way, I knew that when I would wake the next morning, my heart would have frozen overnight. More so, I would have accepted I lost Mason rather than worrying that I would have lost him to the war. It's better this way. Then, I would be too numb to give two shits, but for now, fuck my life!