He was on Cybertron. Walking through the Decepticon base with his cabinet which at the time had only consisted of Jazz and Ironhide. They flanked his back as he led them to their meeting with Megatron, now the leader of the newly formed Decepticon faction.
They marched down the dim, metal hallway, gazes ahead, but focus all around. There were a surprising many who had sided with the Decepticon camp. Megatron's motto was etched into the metal above the doorway ahead. Peace through Tyranny.
He scoffed. Who'd ever heard of such a thing? How could they possibly think it would work?
They arrived at the steel doors. Barricade blocked the way. "State your purpose."
"I have a meeting with Megatron."
He looked to Jazz and Ironhide. "You do. They don't."
"It is a political accord meeting. They are part of my cabinet. They belong in the meeting."
"Megatron said…" Optimus didn't have time for this. He needed to be somewhere else, for something urgent…He couldn't remember what that was…
"Regardless, they're going in." He pushed Barricade aside and the doors open. Starscream was leaning over Megatron's shoulder, pointing at something on a tablet on the table in front of them.
They both looked up at the intrusion. "I see you bullied your way in with those two buffoons despite my request that they remain outside." He stood up and nodded to Barricade, who closed the doors but stayed outside. "No matter. I'll just call in more of my own..advisors." He looked at Starscream and the seeker left to do Megatron's bidding. "Please, be seated."
They settled at the table uneasily. Ironhide didn't sit at all, but rather, opted to stand against the wall behind them. Megatron eyed him, but looked to Optimus in response. "I hadn't thought he would go to your side." Neither did Optimus, but he was thankful for it.
Starscream returned with two others. One looked familiar, but one did not. The unfamiliar one sat down across from Optimus. The other wandered off and stood near the doors.
The mech stared him down, arrogantly. He turned back to his brother. "You called the meeting Megatron. We've tried this before to no avail."
"Yes, I did and we have, but that's not why we're here."
Optimus didn't like mind games. They never led anywhere productive. "Then why are we here?"
"I brought you here to tell you that you cannot bring me back." He leaned back in his seat with a smirk.
"I'm sorry? You made that clear the last time we spoke. I believe the words 'when the pit no longer burns with slag' were used."
Megatron shook his head and shared a glinting glance with Starscream. "Still stuck in the past." He looked back at Optimus with intense focus. "No, I mean now. Right now. I can't be brought back, Optimus. I don't want to be…"
He looked around, confused. Why was Megatron repeating himself? This memory wasn't replaying itself the way he remembered.
When did Ratchet get here? He was leaning against the wall next to Ironhide. No matter. He turned back to Megatron. "I don't understand."
"You wouldn't. You're still trying to be everything to everyone. You don't need me, Optimus. You never did. That's why I hated you for so long."
"What?" This was definitely not the way he remembered this meeting progressing.
"You know what I'm talking about. It's all here, in your head. You don't need me at all. You have everything you need to know right here. Just think on that."
Megatron smiled. "In the meantime, I've been waiting a long time to do this." He leaned forward in his chair and reared his hand back for a slap. Optimus watched it in slow motion arc towards his face…
He came online with a loud crack. Megatron? There was nothing but sky overhead.
Earth.
"No! You don't get to touch him!" Another slap, but not to Optimus. He turned his head to the voice's origin. It sounded like Mercedes, but why did it sound like she was so far away?
Then it got closer. Very much closer. He tried to focus his optics on the small face in front of him. "Oh, Thank God. We couldn't wake you up. Are you okay?"
He couldn't remember feeling this disoriented before. He let his optics swerve around his periphery before settling back on Mercedes. "Did you slap me?" It certainly seemed as if she'd slapped her father.
She looked a bit sheepish. "Yes." He slumped back down in relief. But wait, had she been in contact with the core? Had she been channeling Megatron? He looked at both of her hands, twisting fitfully in her lap as she knelt next to his head. Mercifully empty. She looked so small… "It was all I could think of. Nothing Ratchet did was working."
He looked to his Chief Medical Officer. For the first time in days, Ratchet held his gaze, questioning, searching. He seemed ready to step forward.
"Why…?"
Mercedes looked over her shoulder at Ratchet, then back. "He said it wasn't good that you'd basically fainted. That and you kept mumbling his name—"
He latched his attention to Mercedes' face. "Whose name?"
"Ratchet's." She blinked, confused. "Only you kept forgetting the 'R'." She had no idea what she had just said, but continued blithely. "I just told him you were dreaming."
He did a search for the foreign term. Was that what he just had? A dream? But…"Transformers don't dream…"
She looked confused. "Well, it certainly looked like it. Why wouldn't you dream?"
Ratchet stepped a bit closer. "According to my findings, it would not be impossible for us to dream, Optimus. It's a mechanism for coping with stressors, among other things."
He rolled his head back to face up into the cloudy sky. Why now? Were things really so complicated that he couldn't logic his way through them?
Yes. Yes, they were. He blinked with a sigh and tried to think through what the dream had attempted to convey. He blinked again. Why couldn't he remember what was so clear a moment ago?
Fine. Might as well move on. "Ironhide."
That mech tentatively stepped forward and leaned over Mercedes into Optimus' field of vision. "Yes, Optimus?"
Slag it, he hated feeling like this. Like some kind of invalid to be coddled. He sat up abruptly, making sure not to run into Mercedes. He looked back up to Ironhide. "Status report."
"Sir?"
Did he have to repeat himself? "Give me a status report, Ironhide." He started to stand and Mercedes stood up, but stayed nearby. She was amazingly small.
Ironhide snapped to attention. "Sir. The dome is basically destroyed. We've recovered the…parts…and have the scientists rounded up and under our surveillance. No one has been allowed to leave the perimeter we've set up."
He nodded for him to go on.
"None of us suffered any injuries and everything seems to be in order…except…"
He looked up from the ground where his focus had trailed. "Except?"
"Megatron—er—Jazz…he's not stable and keeps…offlining."
Optimus folded his arms and hung his head in his hand, bracketing his face with thumb and forefinger. He sighed, dropped his hands to his hip-tires, and looked around.
Things didn't look good. Ratchet, Ironhide and Mercedes were focused on him, Bumblebee was standing guard over the scientists—Dr. Baker now included—and Regulus was…
Doing something to Megatron's body, which was lying prone on the ground. If anything, he was at least curious, so he walked over to them. Regulus looked up. "I—can't…"
He didn't want to process the myriad of emotions crossing Regulus' face. He held up his hand to quieten the smaller black and flame mech. Regulus averted his gaze from Optimus and stepped away from Megatron's body.
Primus, he would not feel guilty for this. Part of this was their fault. If he'd known Mercedes had been trapped underground, he'd never have done…whatever it was that caused the quake. They'd almost killed her.
He still couldn't understand how she got out.
He narrowed his apertures and focused in on the welded parts of Jazz to Megatron. It was a surprisingly beautiful detail, like they'd cared. He scoffed. As if they cared.
This was just another experiment to them. Why would they coin and swirl the weld line like an artist? He bent closer to examine the place where they'd transplanted Jazz' memory core. It was shining silver amongst dirty grey steel.
"Op—op—timus…"
What? His optics flew to the still face of his brother. His optics were online…and…blue. Staring straight into his own. He couldn't think of what to say. Was this Megatron or Jazz speaking? Whichever he was, he labored for air as though he'd been mortally wounded.
"Sir…he won't—won't let me offline until I tell you something…" Jazz. He was in obvious pain. Optimus knelt down beside him, reaching for his hand to hold in both his own.
He was afraid of this. He couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding the dream left him. "Easy, friend. What is it?"
"The Matrix. Omega doesn't want you, he wants the Matrix. He says…he says it's the only way he can remember who he was before…the first time…? Optimus I don't know what he means. He's not telling me." Jazz struggled with something, the body flailing a bit, trying to take commands from two masters.
"Shh. Shhh, Jazz, it's alright. It's okay." His first lieutenant sagged back to the ground in exhaustion. After a moment of silence, he looked back at Optimus. "He still won't let me offline."
"Why are you trying to?"
"Because…because it's not right. I'm not stable like this. It's both of us in here, fighting…" He closed his optics in a groan.
He tightened his grip, bringing his attention back. "But?"
"He's not all here. I get bits and pieces, like he's been split…"
Regulus spoke from behind. "I've been trying to see if he needs the core. I don't think Megatron's body can fully offline without the right one, and Jazz's core is fighting the programming." Optimus looked over his shoulder at Regulus. "Ratchet says it will kill them both to do what they want."
He looked back to his friend. "Jazz, can't you reach an accord? Why do you have to offline?"
Jazz shook Megatron's head with two sharp shakes. "We only wanted to see you once more. I had to stop you from tearing your hands off and he wanted to tell you about Omega. Wait—He says to make sure to tell you that Omega's greatest weakness is pow—"
KaTHOOM!
Optimus was thrown backwards by…a plasma blast? He searched around the perimeter, looking for suspects.
He looked back at the point of impact for trajectory. The sight was horrific. His head. Megatron's head. Jazz…it was obliterated from the plasma charge. Nothing was left but a mass of cauterized energon lines and melted metal.
Ironhide yelled from his position, protecting their humans. "Optimus! It's Starscream!"
Starscream had done this to Megatron? Starscream was known for his accuracy. He'd never take a shot without knowing full well exactly where and what he'd hit.
Starscream!?
How…how…how dare he!
He heard the tell-tale whine of jet engines and felt boiling rage flow through his circuits. He didn't think, he just whipped around with his rifle drawn and aimed for the seeker taking off from behind the dome wreckage.
The blast was a bit more than was necessary, but his aim was true and the answering crash of an F22 disguise felt more than a little satisfying.
Why hadn't the others done that? Why had they waited? Why had they let that misbegotten slag shoot Megatron…Jazz? He shook his head. Either. He looked around the encampment and withdrew his rifle, balling that hand into a fist. It still hurt from digging earlier.
When he'd thought…
"If any of you are still loyal to me, you'd better assign someone to go pick up that piece of slag and drag him back here." Even as he said it, he knew it wasn't completely fair, but it had been said and now he felt the overwhelming urge to be alone.
Optimus looked around. There was an undamaged cave opening, further east than the way they'd come. He started towards it.
Bumblebee called from behind. "Optimus?"
"Leave me alone."
"But sir, what about—?"
"Not now."
Ratchet chimed in. "We need to—"
"Primus! What's a mech got to do to get a little time to think around here! I'll be right back, just leave me alone for minute! Besides, you're all apparently capable of making decisions without me."
With that parting shot, he didn't even look back, just kept his focus on the dark hole in the wall ahead of him. Thunder rolled off in the distance and a slight wind brushed against his sensors. It felt…good. The rain began to hit with fat drops on the parched ground.
As soon as he stepped two of his standard paces into the cave, it grew almost completely dark. He turned on his headlights and the stone glittered all around him. He mindlessly followed the tunnel down. At a few points, he had to stoop a bit, but touching the sparkling minerals was somehow soothing. The thunder vaguely echoed through the chambers and he continued walking…deeper and deeper.
He heard water ahead. For such a dry climate, they'd come across a lot of water lately. The air was humid and little droplets of minerals tapped and trickled against his armor. The water was getting louder, more like a rushing sound now.
It drew him. He felt like he had to find the source of this…noise. The cave split in front of him. Which way? The air was cooler and more humid from the right, so there he followed.
The small tunnel was cramped for his larger size, so he folded down. He heard rocks skitter behind him and he turned to look.
Nothing.
He resumed his descent into the cave. The tunnel's mouth yawned up ahead into blackness. What would he find? Was the rushing noise perhaps not water, but an abyss? Someplace dark and deep to forget everything…
He stopped and leaned hard against the crystalline wall. He thought back over the eons of time that he'd spent with each of his team.
Ironhide. Always steadfast, never ceasing in drive or energy. His greatest fear was to watch a conflict unfold without the slightest ability to stop or help. He'd seen that a few times over in the past few hours, now that Optimus stopped to think about it. He'd do anything…anything to keep that from happening. He'd been truly upset that he couldn't take the burden of Megatron's memory core off of Optimus. What did that make him think of me?
All he'd been doing was trying to protect Optimus.
Bumblebee surprised him. Keeping something that important from him wasn't in his character.
He thought back to what Bumblebee had said yesterday morning when asked what he'd seen in the visions.
"I saw…one of us…fall. I would end my spark before I would let that happen."
That thought made him shudder. Had he seen Optimus fall? That would explain so much…
And Ratchet. What was he missing about Ratchet? Something was there, right on the tip of memory…something Megatron had tried to tell him in his dream…
Still nothing. With a sigh, he pushed off and stepped to the edge of the abyss. It was tempting. The noise was so loud it almost drowned out any thought.
So tempting.
He thought of Mercedes. Her laughter. Her bravery. She was so young…millions of years his junior. The age difference wasn't a burden. In fact, it gelled in place the importance of her acceptance of…so much.
He turned his lights from the wall in front of him, down to view the drop. Only ten feet or so.
He folded up and sat down, allowing his lights to illuminate the rest of the cave to his right.
The sight was breathtaking.
Water rushed down in torrents from a large hole in the ground above. Very high above. He'd not realized he'd gone down that far. He stood up and ventured closer to the waterfall.
It was tiered, with pools of water gathering in the lips of stone, cascading down into a growing lake in the basin.
Light shimmered inside the curtain of water, only letting a small amount of light to filter through. His headlights gleamed off the running water and wet crystalline stones brilliantly.
He could do nothing but move forward. It pulled him. He waded into the basin, towards the nearest outcropping. He wanted to climb it. The water swirled around his ankles, then shin guards, knees, thighs… He was surprised at how deep it was. And cold.
It felt good.
He reached the rocky ledge and lifted up onto it. The water looked so inviting.
"Optimus?"
No. No, not now. Not yet.
He turned to the entrance of his sanctuary and waited to see if they'd found him.
Regulus, alone, stepped down into the room, looking around as he approached the small lake. He spotted him on the lower waterfall, not quite under the spray…as he'd like to be…
Regulus stopped at the edge of the water and stared at Optimus. He stood from his crouch and let the smaller water spray bounce off his armor.
Regulus looked a bit…afraid…
The others he could almost understand making decisions without him. Almost. But Regulus…
He was his son.
He was only a few days old.
He was supposed to follow his command.
Optimus leapt off the outcropping and landed close to the edge of the pool, where the water was only a few feet deep. The impact of his landing sent a small tsunami to slap Regulus down and splash off the stalagmites nearby.
Optimus slowly stood. He could hear his own breathing. It was the only sound other than the waterfall. Regulus brushed off some of the water with his free hand, his original hand, as he lay still on the stone floor.
Optimus growled the only question that came to mind. "Why are you here? I asked to be left alone."
He just lay there, staring at Optimus with wide optics. He stepped closer, bearing down over Regulus. "What do you want?"
He still didn't respond. "What is it! Speak, damn you! Or is my command worth nothing, now!?"
He stopped and sucked in a breath in shock.
He hadn't realized that that was his fear until he'd said it. The others were working off their apparent fears in this messy debacle of a mission, but his would cause the most difficulty.
Optimus remembered one of Mercedes' first questions as a Transformer, "What happens to me if I don't want to be part of a leadership?"
She had a choice. They all had a choice. He didn't. What would happen to him if he failed as leader? Would the Matrix leave him? Would it…kill him? The answers to those questions weren't clear. He knew if he'd given the Matrix up at any time that he would go into stasis until a new leader was selected.
But what if he failed? What if the Matrix decided that there was another, more worthy candidate? If he hadn't done his best, tried his hardest, worked the most and watched over all of the others…
Like it seemed was happening now…
He shook his head and glared at the trembling mech laying before him. "Go back to the others, then. If everyone feels that it's better to keep valuable information from me and work around me like some low-level cadet, then—"
"What! NO! I was just a clueless as you were about Mother. I had no idea they'd found out about her capture."
That seemed unlikely, but if it were true, "Then why are you here? If they didn't send you here to plea for them, then why…for all Sentience, why are you here!" He sliced a hand through the air and glared at Regulus.
He swallowed and lifted his other hand. The one with the claw. "I—I came to give you this."
Optimus blinked down at his son, confused. Regulus reached up and placed Megatron's memory core into Optimus' hand, pressing it tightly into his grip so it wouldn't fall. "What are you doing?" His spark beat electric pulses through his system, hissing at the water collected along his frame.
"It's yours, now. It's safe."
"What?"
And then he felt it. Warmth tingled up his wiring, traveling towards his core. Megatron's leadership. All his gained knowledge and power and understanding wormed its way through his sensors into the Matrix. It was…
Astounding. He didn't think…
Even faction leaders were leaders…this was interesting. He felt Megatron's restless energy and tactical experience synch to the Matrix, into him, one right after another. Too fast to latch onto, to make sense of.
When it was completed he looked around, reorienting himself. Well, at least he was getting practice at that. But wait.
The core. It was getting hot.
He stared in horror as Megatron's memory core flared aflame and disintegrated into ashes in his hand. The breeze from the waterfall blew pieces of the charred mass away.
No! He held both hands together, clinging to the last few dust particles, but it just sifted through his fingers. It didn't even reach the ground, but drifted off to become part of the cave…
He snatched at the last little crumbling bits. They poofed out of existence, as if they'd never been.
He looked at his now empty, shaking hands. Because they'd been wet, there was a little bit of ash still clinging in the joints.
It tore his spark to shreds.
His brother was truly gone now.
The enormity of this one event hit his processors all at once. Energon left his extremities almost immediately. He dropped to his knees.
It hurt. Not his knees, but the realization that…
Pain lodged in his throat and burned into his optics. He could no longer tell between the pounding sound of water, the thunder rumbling down upon them or his own labored breathing. He shook his head in denial, but there was none to be had. Megatron was truly gone, now. He let go the pain of holding back his tears and just…
Weeped. This final loss was just too much.
Gone…gone…gone…
Until then, there had always been some hope, some spark of possibility that he could bring him back. The Spark-shard, then Mercedes…
He'd hoped he could have his brother back. Like he'd been before he was Megatron…
Before the wars, before betrayal, before their separation…
Before everything.
When Optimus was just Orion and Megatron was just Ergaleio.
He shuddered into sobs, bending over and pounding his fist to the floor. Why?
Why did it have to be like this? He didn't understand. Maybe someone out there, better than he, would know. He took a deep, shuddering breath and roared his question to the universe:
"WHY!"
Of course there was no answer…
whywhywhywhywhywhywhy
Each time that tiny unanswerable question clicked through his mind, he beat the floor with his fist and sobbed all the harder.
A hand rested tentatively on his shoulder and he flinched. Regulus. What did he do to the core? Why did he give it to him? If he hadn't given it to Optimus, then there might still be a chance…
He reared up and pinned Regulus to the floor with a hand to each shoulder. "Why did you do that?" It didn't sound like his voice, even though he felt it grind through his vocal processor. He watched the fear in his son's eyes with guilt, but now a little bit of him relished in it.
Megatron…
"I—I—I—had to."
Optimus backed away from that…whatever it was…with caution. Had he inherited Megatron's lust for fear when he was bequeathed the leadership?
He pressed his hands to his knees, anything to keep from doing something he'd…
"Why did you have to?"
The sudden calm he felt was empty. It was hollow, like every emotion and thought for the past few days had been swept aside and locked away.
"I usually don't know why I do things. They just tell me they need to be done." He looked at Optimus with millions of questions swimming in his wet optics. "I'm sorry, Father. He said it was time to give it to you." There was no question as to who 'he' was. Megatron, of course.
A thought had Optimus narrowing his apertures at Regulus in suspicion. "What—what have you been doing with the core since you've had it?"
Regulus propped up on his elbows tentatively. One arm his own, one Megatron's. Optimus reached forward and touched the living memory of his brother. Regulus flinched.
He couldn't blame him. He picked up the claw, folding the hand into both his own, much like he'd done while speaking with Jazz outside. Before…
He made sure to gentle his demeanor. "What did you do to yourself?"
"It was nothing…nothing you wouldn't have done for any of us." He met his son's gaze in surprise. He was right, of course, but why would he take it upon himself to do such a thing?
He answered without Optimus having to ask. "I did it because I could. I'm the only one that could have…cleaned it." For the first time, he wondered at the possibility of Regulus being made for such an eventuality.
After all, he was basically made from the Prophetess and the Matrix. Optimus felt a tremble of fear in his own spark. Was Regulus the next leader?
Was he staring at his fate?
He waited for something…anything…any kind of indicator that his fear would come true. The Matrix stayed still, silent. Except for a quiet acceptance, like he was right.
Regulus was the next leader, but not yet.
The knowledge settled like a strange comfort over him. He'd been doing enough. He'd done alright. He could breathe easier now.
Optimus stood, holding onto Regulus' firm hand, reaching for the fair one to pull him to his feet. When he was standing, he looked hard into his son's optics. "Go back to the others and tell them I'll be a bit longer. I've got a lot to think about and I need to be alone to do it. Please."
At his plea, Regulus nodded. He took a deep breath and looked over Optimus' shoulder at the waterfall. "It's beautiful." He gave him another look. Everything had changed now. Regulus may not know the details, but he felt the change. He could see it in his optics, the way he walked away.
Optimus would be there to guide him when the time came. He knew it now. It felt good.
He watched Regulus climb out of the room's opening, then turned and waded back into the water. He savored every eddy and swirl of the coldness caressing his legs. It washed away so much more than dirt.
The spray made little pings against his armor as he stepped closer to the curtain of water. He reached his hand forward and felt the power beat down, watched the void it created beneath. Closer. He let it pepper over his face, feeling the throng of sound as it reverberated through his body. He stepped completely through and saw a wall of rock just begging to be climbed. The water would make it difficult, but he felt the need to do it.
He started up.
He had to strain every cord, every wire, every joint to push up through the falling mass of water. It ran over him, through him, washing away the sand and insects and worries and guilt.
His hand slipped but he found purchase again, grabbing harder, digging into the rock, chipping away a small bit at a time. The water was cool against his worn fingers, soothing. Each step up was like he was leaving a little bit of his problems behind.
When he reached the top, it was difficult to gain grip for the rim of the hole was dirt and kept crumbling away. He finally pulled himself up and over the rim, taking mouthfuls of water many times along the way.
He rolled over on the ground, well above the cave floor, and stared into the sheets of rain flooding the desert. It looked like small harmless lasers aimed directly at him. He just lay there and let the rain pelt against him. It was peaceful.
He turned his head to the side.
Now, this he needed to see standing up, so he shoved himself to his feet and gaped in awe at the natural wonder around him.
Below the clouds, blazing like fire, was the Earth's Sun. It burned the clouds with crimson light.
Crimson against blue.
The rain looked like solid walls of blue in some places, against the golden sandstone buttes and mesas.
The sun burned and the rain kept falling.
He watched the sun set behind the mountains they'd traversed earlier today and the last little flare of light was golden, shooting up to the sky.
The rain lessened, then stopped.
The clouds went away and the veil of night crept up from the east. He could still see purple lightning illuminate the clouds.
Oddly enough, he was dripping wet, but the earth beneath his feet looked dry again.
He looked to the hole in the ground from which he came. It was just a hole. No rushing water. He knelt down and peered into the darkness below. Nothing.
He turned on his headlights. Water glinted below, but it was a calm pool at the base of glittering columns.
He smiled and stood up. He felt better now than he had in ages. With one final look to the fading light in the west, he made his way back to the encampment.
Time to deal with those pesky scientists. His smile only deepened as he quickened his pace.