A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack! Sorry it's been a while but here's chapter 26! I don't really have any questions to answer except for one: James will find out why Lily hates him on his own time. Give him a while because he doesn't find out for quite some time. Remember that Lily's stubborn. She's too afraid of getting close to James again and getting hurt for the umpteenth time. She doesn't trust well. In due time, things will work themselves out.

Disclaimer: I'm not in a creative mood right now to think of anything other than to say the obvious fact that I'm not J.K. Rowling.

Tears on the Balcony

By ByeByeBirdie

Chapter 25: Of Mood Swings, Normalcy, & Secrets

James spent most of Tuesday avoiding everyone. He would be the last person to show up in class and the first out the door. He skipped lunch and dinner and was just grateful that Remus was still recovering in the hospital wing so that James didn't have to face him. He sat far away from Lily in all of his classes and focused his attention on his schoolwork. For the first time since he could remember, he just wanted to be left alone. And thankfully, Sirius and Peter knew enough to keep their distance. They didn't know why, both of them wondering if it had something to do with Remus clawing him the night before, but when James got into his quiet, solitary mindframe, they knew it was best to leave it alone instead of interrogate him.

He was taking a brief nap during lunch to make up for his lack of sleep the night before and only awoke at the sound of his stomach grumbling. He sighed, glancing towards his bedroom door hesitantly. He knew he couldn't hide out all day without some sort of semblance of food in his stomach.

Slowly, he crept towards his door and peeked out, praying that he wouldn't run into LIly. Coast was clear so he tiptoed out into the common room and hastily rushed towards the entrance.

"Don't want to run into me, hm?"

He yelped and turned around, greeted by a smirking Lily in her own doorway. "Damnit, Evans, you scared the hell out of me."

She rolled her eyes. "How's your leg?"

He sighed. "It's fine."

"You sure?"

"Do you see me limping?"

She frowned. "It's hard to tell when you're tiptoeing."

He grimaced. "Seriously, Evans, stop fussing," he whined. "I'm fine except for my empty stomach. So if Miss Warden will allow it, I'd like to steal away to the kitchens."

She scowled. "Gee, sorry for caring," she snapped, slinging her bag over her shoulder and rushing back into her own bedroom.

"You made it pretty clear this morning you don't give a damn about me!" James cried out against his better judgment.

She hesitated before heading back into the common room to glare at him. "Because you make it impossible to care," she retorted with a scoff. "One minute, you're a jackass. The next, you're acting alright. And another minute goes by and you're back to being one hell of a surly son-of-a-bitch. You're like a girl on PMS, Potter. I can't deal with your mood swings!"

To her surprise, her burst into laughter. "My mood swings?" he snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. "Am I the one who went from getting along with me to hating me in a matter of minutes? No, I believe that was you. And I'll be damned if I'm going to blame it on PMS. Nope, I'm just going to blame it on your pathetic stubbornness."

"It was your mood swings that made me go back to hating you, Potter!"

He froze, curiosity striking him. "What are you talking about?"

She sighed. "Nothing. Never mind. Go feed yourself, Potter."

He frowned as she disappeared into her bedroom, wondering what she meant by his 'mood swings' affecting her perspective on him. He racked his brain trying to figure out what he possibly could have done or said the night before her attitude change. He had literally thought back to that night numerous times in the past three days. He wasn't so sure he had ever relived a single few hours more in his entire life than he had those few hours. Maybe the night when Sirius coerced Snape into heading down to the Whomping Willow, but at least he knew what went wrong that evening. At least he could point fingers and determine down to the millisecond how things had unfortunately gone down. No matter how many times he churned the words and events of the evening three nights earlier with Lily, he still couldn't figure out what the hell it is that he had done or said to her. They were fine at dinner, laughing and joking around. And twelve hours later at breakfast, she was once again back to despising him. He hated not knowing. He hated turning that night over and over in his head. He hated pestering her for answers.

But mostly, he hated that he couldn't fix it.

James was knee deep in his Potions essay that night when he heard a knock on his door. He pursed his lips irritably, having a good feeling it was a certain Head Girl once again there to bust his chops. It seemed to James that for someone who was so determined to be left alone, she often found herself in his way.

There was a louder knock and he cried out, "Go away, Evans!"

The door creaked open. "You and Lily still fighting?"

James whirled around, cringing when he saw Remus hovering in the doorway. "Oh, sorry, Moony. I thought you were Lily."

"Ah, yes, and how welcoming you were to the idea of her being at your door," he teased.

James frowned. "She's been a huge pain in my arse all day."

"As opposed to the last six years?" he teased, leaning up against James' doorframe.

He shrugged. "The girl is so hot and cold," he muttered. Normally, he wouldn't care to converse about his troubles with Lily but he had a good feeling as to why Remus was there and he was hoping to stall further. He threw his essay to his nightstand and sat up. "It's like she can't decide whether to hate me or like me enough to get along with me. I'm so sick of it. Why is it always on her terms?"

"I couldn't answer that."

"Well, apparently she can't either," he sighed.

Remus merely nodded. "Have you been hiding in here all day?"

"No."

Remus gave him a look. "Prongs."

"I haven't!" he argued, shaking his head. He grinned sheepishly. "I stopped by the kitchens earlier."

"Oh, my mistake," he drawled sarcastically.

"Whatever," James muttered. "If I have to hide out in my room to avoid her, I'm fine with that."

Remus' scrutinizing eyes narrowed. "Is she the only one you're trying to avoid?"

James met his friend's eyes and sighed. "I'm assuming Sirius spoke to you?"

Remus nodded. "Yeah, he stopped by the hospital wing earlier," he muttered, swallowing the lump in his throat. He gestured towards James' leg. "Is it bad?"

James shook his head, knowing he was referring to the cut on his leg. "No, not at all. I'm fine, Remus. Really. Don't worry about it."

A frown appeared on his friend's ashen face. "James," he said softly.

James made a face. "Remus, you barely scraped me. Please don't fret over it. I'm fine. Don't I seem fine?"

"That's really a relative question."

James shot him a look, a laugh escaping from his lips. "Oh, you're hilarious."

He forced out a smile. "I'm really sorry, James."

"Oh, please, don't be," he urged pleadingly. "It was nothing."

"James, c'mon, you-"

"Seriously, Moony," James interrupted, narrowing his eyes irritably. "It was nothing. I'm perfectly fine, alright?"

He frowned. "Show it to me, James," he said sincerely.

"Aw, c'mon, Moony," James argued, shaking his head. "What good is that going to do?"

"James, I attacked you last night. I think I-"

"Not on purpose!" James protested pleadingly. "And it wasn't even your fault. We all got too playful. It could have been Sirius' paws that clawed me. We were just-"

"But it wasn't," Remus snapped. "It was mine. And me attacking you in werewolf form and Sirius attacking you in dog form are two completely different concepts."

"Damnit, Remus, why are you always so certain you're going to kill one of us?" James barked, glaring at his friend. "It's been three years and we've all been able to handle ourselves thus far perfectly fine without your constant determination of protecting us. We've been scraped, we've been bitten, we've been clawed. We've seen it before and yet every single time you accidentally scrape us with your paws, you freak out. It's not the end of the world. It's the whole reason behind our Animagi transformations. You can't hurt us!"

"James, when Sirius accidentally mauls you or Peter accidentally bites you, they remember it the next day. Me, on the other hand, I'm in a completely different world. I remember small spurts of actions, but it's in a completely haze. Do you know what it feels like to have to be told of my actions the night before? To have Sirius tell me that I scratched you? Do you know what it feels like to wake up the next day and have only a vague recollection of about six hours of my life?"

"No, Remus," James sighed. "I don't know what that feels like. But I want you to stop worrying about it the next day. I want you to stop fretting over your prior actions. Have we ever let you down before?"

He shot him a look.

James winced, reminded of the night Sirius goaded Snape towards the Whomping Willow. "Alright, so that wasn't one of our proudest moments, but he's learned his lesson. We all have. Can't you please just stop stressing over it?"

Remus frowned. "No," he admitted with a shrug. "I'll never stop stressing. But that's why I'm the werewolf and you're the normal kid."

James' heart skipped a beat as he met his friends' fearful gaze. "I hate that you don't see yourself as normal."

He sighed. "I think howling at the full moon pretty much keeps one from being normal."

James unfortunately couldn't respond to that.

"James, please just show it to me."

He sighed, hitting his head irritably against his headboard. But he slowly obliged. Remus wouldn't let up until he saw the damage he had caused.

"Why is it bandaged?" Remus asked, his voice full of overwhelming concern. "You've never once bandaged your cuts before. It really is bad, isn't it?"

James sighed as he slowly unraveled the bandage. He pursed his lips hesitantly before responding, "No, it's fine," he muttered. "It's just that…er…Evans forced me to wear it."

"What?"

"Oh, she had no idea where it came from," he said hastily, shaking his head. "But she was up this morning when I walked into the room."

A frightened frown appeared on Remus' face.

"Don't worry about her, Moony. Seriously. She's too busy busting my chops to focus too heavily on where I got the gash from."

"She's busting your chops?"

"Like that's anything new?" James snorted, shrugging curtly. "I thought we were finally…blimey, I don't know. Getting along? Or at least trying to. Even this morning, she actually showed signs of compassion. But that quickly disappeared. She became more concerned with calling me a foolish nobody."

Remus' eyebrow peaked. "She called you a nobody?"

"Among other things," he muttered, pulling the last of the bandage off his leg. "See, Moony? I'm fine."

Remus' eyes grazed lightly on the small jagged scar before resting on James' pleading eyes. "Maybe the cut is fine, but are you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What else did Lily say?"

James sighed. "It really doesn't matter. In her mind, I'm always going to be an irresponsible rule-breaker. I'm just done trying to-"

"Does that have something to do with you wandering into the room at four in the morning?"

James frowned. "Don't go blaming yourself, Moony. The girl loathed me before I strolled into the bedroom this morning way past curfew. And she's going to continue loathing me even if I follow every single rule Dumbledore has ever set."

"I just can't do anything right, can I?" Remus teased. "First, I maul my best friend. And-"

"Maul's a strong word, Moony."

"-and now because of me, Lily hates you even more. Maybe-"

"She already hated me."

"-maybe I should just go find a first-year Gryffindor to torture and call it a day."

James couldn't help but laugh. "Remus, thank you for caring, but I'm fine."

"You're starting to sound like a broken record."

"No, what I'm starting to do is get annoyed with everyone wondering if I'm fine."

Remus sighed. "You're not fine, James. Why else would you be hiding in your room all day?" He shot his friend a look who unfortunately was at a loss of words. "I know this thing between you and Lily is really getting to you. And I'm sorry that you have to deal with that."

James frowned. "You don't have to come in here and apologize to me twice for things you didn't have a lot of control over."

Remus shrugged. "It's what friends do. We offer sympathy when our friends are clearly feeling down."

He met Remus' concerned gaze and merely sighed. "Alright, will it make you feel better if I said I will be fine?"

Remus shook his head. "No, not really."

James couldn't help but chuckle. "Look, I really don't want to talk about Evans or this damned cut on my leg, hence why I'm hiding out here. So you are more than welcome to hide out here with me if our conversations stick strictly to schoolwork, Quidditch, pranks, or a potential must-need Hogsmeade visit in our near future."

"How is discussing pranks or a Hogsmeade visit going to get Lily on your good-"

"Ah, ah, ah, no talk of Evans!"

Remus chuckled and reluctantly shut James' door behind him, strolling into his room and perching on the edge of James' bed. "How goes your Potions essay?"

James let out a relieved sigh. "That's much better."

Remus snickered. "I just asked you about your Potions essay and you think that's a good thing? Man, you really are in bad shape."

Remus let out a yelp as a pillow pummeled him.

It was late once Remus left James' room. He still felt guilty for apparently clawing James. He would never not feel guilty for anything that occurs during his transformations. When he turned into a werewolf, he really was a completely different person. Beast. Monster. Whatever you want to call it, that's what he saw himself as. His biggest fear has always been the idea of waking up in the morning to be told that he bit a human or he killed someone. To this day, he would never be able to forget the day he awoke after almost attacking Severus Snape. When he woke up, he felt different. He was more exhausted and worn out and his entire body had been trembling. Sirius was sitting by Remus' side in the hospital wing when he had opened his eyes and Remus knew immediately something was wrong. He could see it on Sirius' face. And Remus knew that he would never, ever get the words that Sirius spoke that day out of his head. Remus couldn't remember a time where he felt more frightened, more angry, more disappointed, and more betrayed in his entire life than he had in that moment. Even to this day, when he thought about what could have happened, both to him and to Severus, disappointment boiled deep within. He had long forgiven Sirius. But he would unfortunately never forget.

As he slipped out of James' room, his eyes migrated towards Lily's door. He couldn't get James' words or the expression on his face out of his mind. He was clearly feeling down, to put it very mildly, about Lily's recent return of her distaste for him. Remus wasn't so sure what possessed him to do so, but he strode over to her room and knocked. When there wasn't an answer, he knocked again. And then he rolled his eyes when he heard her say, "Potter, leave me alone!"

Remus opened the door and peeked his head in. He snorted when he saw her sprawled out on her bed with a few textbooks in front of her, scribbling away on her latest essay. "Gee, you and James need to learn to be a tad more welcoming."

Lily jerked her head up in surprised at the sound of Remus' voice. "What are you doing here?" she asked, confused. "Shouldn't you know by now that James is across the common room?"

Remus shot her a look. "I'm not here for him, Lily. Mind if I come in?"

Her intrigue got the better of her. She nodded and sat up on her bed. "What's this about?"

Remus frowned guiltily, slowly shutting the door behind him and striding over to her desk. He swung her desk chair around and dropped into it hesitantly. "Look, Lily," he sighed, scratching his head curiously. "I know this really isn't my place seeing as I have absolutely no idea what's going on with you and James, but I think-"

"You're right, it isn't your place," Lily interrupted stubbornly. Once again, she was throwing her guard up.

He sighed. "I just need you to know that James staying out until four in the morning today wasn't his fault," he muttered. "So whatever grudge you're holding against him all of a sudden, please don't use today as some sort of validation of your distaste for him."

"Are you seriously covering for him, Remus?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's not covering when it's the truth."

"It doesn't matter if it's the truth and it doesn't matter whose idea it was and it doesn't matter what you were doing. It's the fact that you all were doing it when you knew damned well sure it was breaking about fifty school rules. Potter does whatever the hell he wants, which may have worked in previous years, but he's the goddamned Head Boy of this school, Remus! I'm sick and tired of him shirking all of his responsibilities."

He pursed his lips. "He was shirking said responsibilities last night because of me," Remus urged, his temper slowly flaring.

She scoffed. "It barely matters, Remus. He was a jerk before traipsing into the common room at four in the morning acting like his usual smug self."

"Oh, just stop it, Lily," he snapped.

Her eyebrow peaked. "Excuse me?" she asked coolly.

"I really don't want to be mean, but I think we're all getting a bit tired of the charade."

"Charade?" she scowled.

He shrugged. "I don't think it's fair of you to call my best friend names and insult him and act condescending towards him if you're not going to at least provide him with the decency of knowing what he did wrong. The guy isn't perfect, but he deserves a lot more credit than what you're giving him. You may think he's a jerk, but to me, he's the best friend a guy could ask for."

"I don't have to explain myself to you. Or to anyone," Lily was quick to defend. "And I don't think I should be guilted into feeling bad about my opinions of the prat. That's why they're called opinions. You want to go on pretending like that best friend of yours has redeeming qualities, you go right ahead. Me, on the other hand, I'm going to think differently."

"You don't know him," Remus retaliated, shrugging curtly. "You don't know him like I do. You don't know the things he's done for me. You don't know the person he really is. You're only concerned with the person you think he is. This horrible person that you've spent six years building inside of your head. You don't see that he actually is one of the most compassionate, unselfish, genuine people I know." His gaze was icy, full of a weird sense of desperation. "You don't know him, Lily. So if you want to continue making your outlandish shallow judgments against him, go for it. That's your prerogative. But don't pretend like you know anything about him."

Lily was slightly taken aback by Remus' forward, uninhibited attitude. He had always been so quiet, so stealthy, keeping his opinions to himself. He avoided confrontation at all costs so the fact that he dared speak up for James so proudly, so openly, ensured curiosity within her. "What were you lot doing last night?"

Panic rested in Remus' eyes. "That's not important. Just know it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me."

"Not important?" she scoffed. "If you guys felt the need to wander the halls in the middle of the night, it must have been something important."

"Let it go, Lily," he said firmly.

She rolled her eyes and was about to dismiss him and return to her essay, when a sudden thought occurred to her. She leaned forward curiously, her eyes narrowing skeptically. "Remus," she said slowly, a hint of warning in her tone.

"What?"

"I thought you were visiting your mother last night."

This time, Lily saw plain as day the panic in Remus' eyes. "Uh…"

"Your sick mother?" she urged, crossing her arms defensively.

He glared at her. "Real subtle."

She sighed, realizing that mentioning his sick mother in an accusatory way wasn't the most considerate thing she's ever done. "I'm sorry," she said genuinely. "But that is why you were gone yesterday afternoon and all today, is it not?"

He didn't respond.

"Why do you feel the need to lie for James. What do you get out of it?"

Remus hesitated, wondering what he could possibly say to redeem both himself and James. He felt his heart speed up when he realized he only had one option. "I'm not lying for James. I've been…I've been lying about myself."

That caught Lily's attention. "What are you talking about?"

He wasn't about to go into complete detail, but he could at least throw her a bone. "It's not my mother who's been sick all these years," Remus said softly, meeting Lily's curious gaze. Her eyes widened in surprise at the implication. He shrugged. "It's me."

"What?" she asked, surprise being her obvious reaction.

He sighed, turning away from the shock on her face. "I'm...I'm the one who's been sick."

Lily had no idea how to respond to that. She wanted to tread lightly, not wanting to step on any toes, but she had so many questions. How sick is he? What did he have? Why has he been lying about it? Why is he gone only once a month? How long has he been sick? She started with the obvious question. "Are you alright?"

He nodded immediately. "I am," he said with a sad smile. "It's nothing you need to concern yourself with."

"You are standing in front of me telling me you're ill and you expect me not to worry?" she asked in a strained voice.

"I really am fine, Lily," he said, his heart beating a mile a minute. He knew he could probably trust her with the real truth, but he also knew he'd have no idea how to bring it up. "And you know why?"

She didn't respond.

"Because of my friends," he said softly, shrugging matter-of-factly. "They've been there for me every step of the way and…and have gone above and beyond to make me feel comfortable with…with my illness and accept it. That's where they were last night. Supporting me." He felt slightly awkward talking about this, seeing as he had always been so desperate to ignore his lycanthropy and act like 90% of the time, he was a normal teenager. But it was that 10% of the time that pretty much ran his life.

"Damnit," Lily muttered, falling back against her headboard with a defeated sigh.

"What?"

She made a face. "I was perfectly content thinking James Potter is a jackass troublemaker and you had to go and turn him into a nice guy. I hate you for that," she said with a teasing smile.

Remus couldn't help but laugh. He knew she was just trying to joke around to ease the awkward tension he had created. "He's a good guy, Lily," he said, forcing a smile on his face. Truth was, he felt guilty for painting James in such a good light when he was not only breaking school rules but wizarding rules by being an unregistered Animagi.

She merely shrugged, trying to not let it get to her. But she did feel slightly guilty for accusing James for the things she did. He was keeping his friend company during a difficult time, not flitting around in Hogsmeade or sneaking around with his girlfriend or playing pranks. "Maybe to you he is," she said eventually. "And I commend him for that. I really do. But honestly, he's a different person to you than he is to me. I'm glad that you can see the good in him and…and maybe at times, I see glimpses of it. But those glimpses aren't enough to change the things he's done and the things he's said to me. The things he's said about me. I can't ignore that."

Remus frowned curiously. "What has he said about you, Lily?"

She stiffened. "It's not important."

"Seems like it might be."

She sighed. "Just tell me that you're going to be fine, Remus."

He shot her a look. "I already told you not to worry. Whatever theories you're probably coming up with in your head as to what is wrong with me are most likely far from the truth. But I don't want to talk about it. Never have, never will. It's…it's something I think I've finally come to terms with and I just want to live my life, okay?"

"You didn't really answer my question."

"So diplomatic," he teased. He smiled sincerely. "I am going to be just fine, Lily. I promise."

It was obvious she was still apprehensive, and she was about to change the subject when she realized she needed to ask one more question. "Why have you been lying all this time?"

Oddly enough, that was an easy question to answer. "So I can have everyone in this school stop and stare at me when I'm walking down the hallway? So people can pity me and treat me differently? So people can point at me and brand me the sickly weak one? No, I didn't want that. What I wanted was a second chance when I came to this school to just be-"

"Normal?" Lily found herself blurting out, realizing she knew exactly how he felt. It was the same reasons she never told anyone of her parents' death.

Her met her gaze and was surprised to not see the pity in her own eyes. No, what he saw was compassion and understanding. "Yeah," he said softly. "Maybe it was silly and naïve of me, but-"

"No, it wasn't," Lily was quick to argue, offering a knowing smile. "It was the only option you thought you had at the time."

Their eyes didn't stray from each other as a heavy, curious tension filled the room. It was as if something was being left unsaid. Remus thought it had something to do with the secret of his lycanthropy and Lily thought it had something to do with the death of her parents. It was these secrets that could have made them really understand each other. Instead, these secrets remained hidden. "So you don't think I did the wrong thing?"

"Does it feel wrong?"

He shrugged. "No."

"I think that's your answer."

He found himself smiling, strangely grateful to be sharing this conversation with Lily. She always had been so levelheaded and nonjudgmental. It seemed that the only person she wasn't able to keep her cool around was James. "I know it's probably not going to curb your concern, but I really am okay. I just have to…to go to the hospital wing once a month to deal with the impacts of my disease. But twelve days out of 365 is doable. It's better than 365 days out of 365, right?"

A rush of agony grew within Lily. It was just a reminder that 365 days out of the year she was still without her parents. "Right," she said hollowly.

He could have sworn he saw disappointment in her eyes, but he didn't question it. He wasn't one to pry where it was unnecessary. He slowly stood up off her desk chair and swung it back around, slipping it underneath her desk before saying, "Can you please not say anything to anyone? About…well, you know."

She nodded. "Of course. Believe me, Remus, I know how to keep a secret."

Her words intrigued him, but he made his way towards her door. She reached back towards her quill to once again immerse herself in her schoolwork.

Remus' hand was on her doorknob when he hesitated and slowly turned back around to face her. "I know it may sound strange, but I hope you know that I'm always here if you need to talk to someone."

Her quill froze in midair as she turned to lock eyes with him. She knew he was referring to what she was hiding without him coming out and saying it bluntly. It didn't take a genius to realize that the conversation they had shared struck some sort of chord with her and let's face it, Remus always had been perceptive. And yeah it did sound a bit strange coming from him, but in a weird way she appreciated him for it.

But before she could say anything, he merely nodded her way and disappeared.

It took only a few seconds before another suspicion perked up. She was suddenly rushing off her bed and out the door, calling after Remus. "Hold up, Remus!"

He was barely out the front door when he heard her calling for him. He turned around, his eyebrow raised curiously. "What's up?"

"How did Potter get that cut on his leg?"

Remus froze, his mouth opening immediately in protest. Unfortunately, no words came out. He was now definitely caught in his own exaggerated lie.

She narrowed her eyes. "How did he get that cut on his leg if he was with you in the hospital wing?"

Remus let out a deep sigh, lifting his eyes to meet her scrutinizing gaze. Eventually, he spoke. "Lily, do you trust me?"

She frowned in anticipation, finding herself nodding.

"Then please," he said desperately, his eyes bearing an earnest hole through her own. "Don't ask questions."

"Remus, what's going on?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"Lily, I have never once asked you for anything in the six years we have known each other. And I'm not one to beg. To you, to my friends, to anyone," he spoke, his voice full of pleading. "But I'm standing in front of you right now begging you to just not ask any questions. Please. It's better if you don't."

She hesitated. "Better for who?"

"Lily," he warned softly, shaking his head.

Her lips pursed instinctively but she offered him a single curt nod. "Alright," she muttered reluctantly. "But can I ask one last question?"

He sighed, clearly wanting her to just let it all go. "Okay."

"You're not doing anything stupid or dangerous, are you?"

He bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes filling with desperation. "Lily," was all he croaked, the one word filled with so much anxiety as he shook his head.

She sighed. That didn't sound like a good sign, but at least he wasn't lying to her. "Remus," she said softly, her heart skipping a nervous beat. She smiled. "I hope you know that I'm here for you."

He gazed at her, strangely touched by her show of generosity. "Thank you, Lily."

She didn't know if he was thanking her for the words of encouragement or if he was thanking her for not asking any more questions, but she merely responded with a smile.

Lily hated admitting it, but throughout the next day, she found that her focus often resided on a particular Head Boy she had been so certain was nothing but a troublemaker. But the revelation from the night before that he actually took the time to keep Remus company during a difficult time made her see him in a slightly different light. She was surprised to find herself smiling as she watched James patiently tutor Peter for the upcoming Transfiguration exam without making Peter feel like an idiot. She noticed the humble way he spoke to his Quidditch teammates. She was impressed by the way he turned down Sirius' suggestion to pull a prank when he had to finish running through his Head Boy paperwork. She watched him stroll around the school with his friends, gaining a sense of pride by the way he treated them all as if they were the most important people on the planet. And she was shocked and yet weirdly fascinated when James didn't jump at the opportunity to attack a bunch of Slytherins who had been taunting him and Sirius.

She had been hurrying off the lunch the following day when she heard Bellatrix's usual cackling. Not wanting to get into anything with any Slytherins, especially since she was alone and Merlin knows the Slytherins always went together in packs, she slinked up against the wall and prayed they were walking in the other direction. Imagine her surprise when she also heard James' and Sirius' voice. She was suddenly torn between feeling the need to step in before anyone did anything stupid and keeping a low profile so as not to be sucked in.

"I'm surprised Lestrange lets you off his leash," Lily heard Sirius sneer. "Where is the old bastard anyway? Toying with young children or hexing Muggleborns?"

"Probably both," Bellatrix snapped back. "So you better go make sure that pathetic Head Girl isn't wandering the halls alone."

Lily had an involuntary sharp intake of breath at the mention of herself. "It's pathetic being the best goddamned witch this school has ever seen?" James spoke up, his voice oddly even and calm. Lily couldn't help but feel surprised at the compliment. "I think she'd rather be pathetic than…well, you."

"Spoken like a true blood-traitor." That was Mickey Mulciber's voice.

"Oh? And what does sneaking around with your best friend's girl make you?" Sirius snorted. "Just a traitor?"

"Makes me better than Potter here sneaking around with the biggest known blood-traitor in the bloody wizarding world," Bellatrix snapped. "Although it's always amusing to laugh about you being kicked out of the house by my dear aunt and uncle."

There was silence where Lily could only assume Sirius was having inner turmoil between hexing the cousin or walking away. Eventually, he spoke. "Oh, is that what they're saying around the campfire during family reunions?" he sneered. "I didn't get kicked out, Bella," he snapped, using the nickname he knew she hated. "I left. Because I was ashamed to be their son."

"Well, that feeling was certainly mutual," she cackled. "You're nothing but a mere blot on the Black family tree. You don't deserve to wave around that surname of yours."

"Hah!" Sirius sneered. "As repulsive as it is, Black is the name I will don until the day I'm dead for the sole reason that it bothers you and the rest of my unfortunate kinsfolk so much."

"Hate to burst your momentary amused bubble, but that day you speak of is going to come a lot sooner than you might hope for if you continue shunning your creditable heritage," Mulciber spoke.

"I don't call being ruthless wannabe-murderers creditable."

"And you're one to talk about being creditable," James chimed in. "Tell me, does being the mistress give you some sort of high?"

"It's better than pining after a Mudblood for nearly six years!"

Lily tensed immediately, knowing that if she didn't intervene soon, there was going to be a full-blown fight in the corridor. But James' next words stopped her in her tracks.

"Does it make you feel like a big man to throw around backhanded slurs?" James snapped. "To insult those people that are superior to you in every form of the word? This is typically where I punch you in the face and call you a no-good murderous villain, but I'm so above stooping to your level. I don't need to attack those people who I feel are subordinate just to make myself feel like a better person. I already know I'm a better person. So put that damned wand away, Mulciber. I'm not fighting you today."

"James, I-"

"Let's go, Sirius," he urged firmly.

Lily heard footsteps as she stepped out of the shadows guiltily, rushing down the hallway before anyone could determine that she had been present. As she rounded the corner, she replayed James' last words in her head numerous times. She couldn't remember a time when James turned down a fight with a few idiotic Slytherins. Especially when there wasn't anyone around to reprimand him.

She was finding herself so confused in his presence. How can he attack her character and call her a nobody to one person, but then defend her worth to another? She had no idea what to believe anymore.

But she was beginning to realize that was a given when it came to James Potter.

It was obvious to Riley and Kay that Lily was distracted all day. She only answered three questions in Charms versus her usual ten to fifteen, she didn't finish her Gargantuan potion much to Slughorn's disappointment, and could barely sit still during meals.

"What is with you?" Riley had asked at dinner.

Lily was too busy moving the peas on her plate with her fork to have heard Riley. She yelped when a pea was thrown at her forehead. "Riley!" she scolded.

"Well, if you listened to me, I wouldn't have to throw vegetables at you," she snickered, shoveling a forkful of peas into her mouth with a grin. "Seriously, what's with you?"

She shrugged. "Nothing," she lied. "I just have a lot on my mind."

Riley exchanged a concerned look with Kay before sighing. "Lily, Kay and I are back to being friends. I've already admitted that I had been stupid and naïve and hurtful. I don't want-"

"Riley, this may come as a shock to you, but my distant behavior today doesn't have anything to do with you two," she muttered. "I know you guys are friends again and I'm happy for you. This…this is something entirely different."

"Like what?"

Lily sighed, letting his fork clatter to her plate. "Like this Potions essay due first thing tomorrow morning. I've got to get to the library."

Both Riley and Kay frowned. They knew she had been hiding something but before they could retort, she was whisking herself off to the library.

Which she learned was a waste of time. She sat at her usual round table with her Potions essay in front of her for two hours. And yet her quill never touched the page. She knew she only had one thing left to do. So she quickly gathered her things and rushed back to her room, looking for a certain Head Boy.

As she rushed in the door, she literally ran smack into him, both stumbling. "Oh, sorry, Potter!" she cried out, cringing as her hands went to her forehead that had just been rammed into James' shoulder as she staggered backwards.

He grabbed ahold of her before she fell to the ground. "Blimey, Evans, you trying to add another injury to my healing body?" he scoffed. "Why are you in such a hurry anyhow?"

"Well," she said awkwardly, bringing her hand down from her head where she was sure a bruise was going to form. "Actually, I was looking for you."

Whatever he expected, it wasn't that. "My leg is fine," he drawled, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not here for that," she sighed. She hesitated. "Well, not directly anyway."

"Not directly?"

She frowned, chewing on the inside of her lip anxiously. "Are you busy right now?"

"It's ten-thirty," he pointed out. "I have to go do rounds."

"Oh," she said. "Right."

He could have sworn a flicker of disappointment shone in her eyes. And his curiosity got the better of him. "But…but you're welcome to join me."

She jerked her head up in shock. "Seriously? You wouldn't mind my company?"

"Under one condition."

"Uh-oh," she teased.

"You don't mention my leg again."

"Technically, you just brought it up."

"Evans."

She sighed. "Alright, fine, I consent," she said with a shrug, chucking her bag on to the common room couch. "Shall we?"

He nodded as he followed her out of the room. "So, why have you sought me out?"

She bit down on her lip, keeping her mouth shut as they took the long strides down the hallway. When they rounded the corner, she finally spoke. "Don't make a big thing of it, Potter, but I wanted to apologize."

He halted immediately, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

She didn't notice he had stopped until she glanced to her side and he wasn't there. She turned around and rolled her eyes at his gawking expression. "I said don't make a big thing of it."

"You have never once apologized to me, Evans, so I think I'm allowed to bask in the glory just this once," he said, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Oh, please, I've never done or said anything to apologize for," she joked, laughing lightheartedly.

"Ah, yes, Little Miss Perfect," he spoke, chuckling as he caught up to her.

"No, if I recall correctly, I just act perfect, am I right?"

He froze, his eyes zoning in on hers in shock. Those were the words he spoke to her out on the balcony on their last day of sixth year. He offered her an apologetic smile. "If I'm being honest, I think we all put on that act."

"Not you. Or if you do, you don't do such a great job at it." She was suppressing the urge to laugh.

"Oh, gee, thanks!" he chuckled, lightly elbowing her. "Wasn't it you who told me last night people worship me and fall at my feet? "

"Damn, I can never say anything to you without you one day using it against me," she sighed overdramatically, sharing a smile with him.

"That probably explains why you often give me the silent treatment."

"Yeah, that or your prattish ways."

"Eh, I'm going to go with the former."

She merely laughed as they headed towards the tall towers of the castle where most couples stole away for a late-night snogging session.

"So, please, Miss Lily Evans, do continue your apology. I am most intrigued to hear this."

"I bet you are," she snorted, rolling her amused eyes. She glanced up at him with an unexpected smile on her face. "Look, I-I know why you were out all night yesterday."

That certainly got James' attention. He froze at the bottom of a staircase to rest his eyes committedly on hers. His heart started to race in pure panic. "What exactly do you know?"

Lily sighed, leaning up against the bannister. "Remus came to see me last night," she spoke, her voice trembling with much desolation. "I was wrong to assume you were out being your usual troublemaking self when…when in the end, you were just trying to support your friend and be there for him during a difficult time."

She saw fear in his eyes. "Evans, what did he tell you?" he asked cautiously.

She shrugged hesitantly. "Everything. Well, almost everything. He…he told me it wasn't his mother he's been visiting all these years. That he's been keeping the lie up so as to appear normal to the student body. But…but really, he's the one who has been sick all of these years."

"He said that?" James asked, surprised that Remus seemed to have trust Lily with such heavy information.

She nodded. "Look, I have no idea what it is you and your friends actually do to be there for him, but it's obvious he appreciates it. And…and I think that's important to have with an unfortunate illness."

"Is that seriously what we're calling lycanthropy now?" James muttered. "An unfortunate illness?"

Lily froze, her mouth dropping open in shock as a shiver ran down her spine. "Lycanthropy?" she whispered hoarsely when she found the ability to talk. "As in…werewolf?"

James' faze grew white at her surprise. "You said he told you everything!"

"Apparently not everything," Lily said back in complete shock.

James turned around so as not to look at her, his hands flying to his face in panic. He rubbed his temples, squeezed his eyes shut skeptically, shook his head back and forth guiltily, bit down hard on his bottom lip, and when he finally accepted the fact that he had just made a devastating mistake, he ran his hands through his hair in defeat and turned back around to face Lily. His expression was surprisingly calm considering Lily's was showing undeniable horror. "Don't be freaked out," he said, his voice strained.

"I'm not," she admitted, trying to catch her breath. "I'm…I'm…"

"What?"

She shrugged slowly, grabbing ahold of the bannister for balance. "I don't know what I am," she whispered. "But right now, it's not me I'm thinking about. It's Remus."

James groaned. "Damnit, you are freaked out."

She shot him a look. "That's not what I'm thinking," she urged.

"Then what is it you're thinking?" he dared to ask.

"Honestly?" Lily muttered, crossing her arms vulnerably. "I'm wondering how he does it."

"Does what?"

"Everything," she whispered.

"Oh, well at least you're being specific."

She sighed, running her fingers through her long, tangled hair. She didn't say anything right away, her thoughts immersed so heavily on Remus. She assumed her thoughts would be focused on pinpointing all of the warning signs she had clearly ignored and the lies that Remus told throughout the years. Instead, overwhelming compassion and empathy were the emotions she was feeling.

"Evans," James pleaded. "Just tell me what you're thinking."

She frowned, but it wasn't her usual frown filled with irritation or anger or even disappointment. It was a frown filled with empathy. "I'm thinking Remus Lupin may be one of the bravest, strongest people I know."

James hesitated. "Er…what?"

She nodded. "Once a month, he has to go through what I can only imagine are horrible transformations. Transformations that he has clearly tried so hard not wanting to define him. And it shouldn't have to. Yet, it unfortunately does. And that sucks. That really sucks," she said softly. "And what makes it worse is the fact that he has to go through it all alone no matter who's supporting him. So yeah, brave and strong is pretty much the only word I could ever use to describe him."

James chose to ignore the fact that Lily believed that Remus was alone during his transformation. He may have spilled Remus' secret, but he wasn't about to get all of the Marauders in trouble.

"How…how did it happen?" Lily whispered.

James frowned. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"

Lily nodded. "You can't just blurt out a huge secret like that and not tell me anything about it," she said softly.

James met her gaze and saw a sort of desperate pleading staring back at him. He let out a deep sigh before recapping the story of Remus' childhood and the day that led to his unfortunate condition. He spoke of Remus' father insulting Fenrir Greyback and the werewolf getting his revenge on Mr. Lupin's son. He spoke of Remus' parents abandoning their son after being bitten. James couldn't exactly explain why seeing as it was a rare occasion when Remus spoke of his parents, but James presumed it was due to guilt and remorse. And once Remus left for Hogwarts, it became easier letting go of their son. James believed Remus always felt as if his parents were ashamed of him. James prayed that wasn't true. James spoke of Remus' arrival at Hogwarts and his monthly transformations in the Shrieking Shack. He discussed Remus' desire to lie to everyone, especially after what happened with his parents, and James spoke of the time he, Sirius, and Peter found out. The only thing James refused to mention was that after they found out, they did everything in their power to make sure Remus didn't have to go through those transformations alone.

After James finished speaking, he let Lily soak in all of the information. He didn't say anything, studying his shoes reflectively, and Lily remained silent as her thoughts focused heavily on Remus and how sorry she felt for him. But she scolded herself quickly after. She knew most definitely that what Remus didn't want was any sort of pity.

"Potter?" she eventually spoke and James jumped slightly at her voice. They had both been silent for so long, he hadn't expected to her hear speak.

"Yeah?"

"This does beg a few more questions," she admitted, quirking an eyebrow.

"Aw, hell, I should have kept my mouth shut," James whined.

Lily sighed, taking a seat on one of the bottom steps as she gazed up at James. "Remus said you were with him last night. And then you come in with a huge cut on your leg. How is-"

"What happened to not mentioning my cut tonight?" James muttered.

She shot him a look. "Extenuating circumstances just came up," she drawled dryly.

He stared down at her warily but joined her on the staircase. "Evans," he spoke slowly. "I know none of this makes any sense to you. And it probably never will. But I can't give you all the answers you're looking for. I've already given you too much."

She frowned. The Marauders most definitely had something to hide. "I asked Remus last night if all of you were doing anything stupid or dangerous. And now I feel I need to ask you the same question."

"What did he say?"

"You first."

He sighed. He couldn't lie to her now. Not after everything they've been through. "Lily," he warned softly, instinctively reaching over to put his hand on her knee comfortingly.

Shock shone in her eyes at the use of her first name. She knew it was serious if he was going to use her first name. "You're not going to answer my question, are you?" she sighed.

He offered her a sad smile, slowly retracting his hand from her knee as he rested them atop his own legs. He turned his gaze away from her, his eyes resting on a portrait across the hall of a Renaissance couple whose eyes were solely trained on the two of them perching on the bottom of a stairwell. Eventually he let out a deep sigh, his heart beating a mile a minute. Panic and paranoia flashed through his head as he spoke, his words filled with such desperation and pleading, "You're better off not knowing."

She frowned. "That's what Remus said."

He turned to face her, meeting her fearful gaze with his own. He ran his fingers through his hair, not in his usual smug way but in a particularly vulnerable way. "Evans, have you ever been so desperate to keep a secret from people that you're constantly looking over your shoulder in fear of it getting out? Have you ever had to keep something to yourself for months, days, years even that after a while, it just becomes second nature? That after a while that secret has become such a huge part of who you are? A huge part of you who are that you don't want others to have to find out about? Have you ever been so eager to keep a secret from leaking out in fear of everything you've ever worked for coming to a screeching halt? Do you know what it's like to know the importance of covering your tracks? That keeping people in the dark is the best and maybe even the only thing necessary to keep everything-"

"Normal?" Lily muttered for a second time in two days.

James met her gaze, slowly nodding. "Yeah," he whispered. "Exactly."

It was her turn to nod. "Yeah," she said softly, her voice strained as her thoughts rested solely on the death of her parents. She swallowed hard, willing to stop her bottom lip from trembling. "I know what that feels like."

Silence engulfed them, but neither would have had it any other way. Lily thought about the memories she once shared with her family. The Sunday morning Eggs Benedict breakfasts her father would make. The late nights she and Petunia would spend in their treehouse stargazing. The nights her mother would sneak into her bed and read Charlotte's Web with her. The road trips they would take to the beach on hot summer days and the blizzards where her father would make a large batch of hot chocolate and they would all sit in front of the fireplace.

James, on the other hand, was smiling at all of the mischief that he and his friends have caused over the years. The nights they had strolled the grounds and meandered through Hogsmeade looking for trouble to be caused. The numerous plans they created in anticipation of the full moons. The Marauders Map they inevitably crafted from those roguish evenings. He thought back to when they first told Remus they wanted to become Animagi and he recalled the strenuous process it took to get to their finalized Animagus stage. But what he remembered most was that they had never given up. Failing wasn't an option, not when there was so much on the line. Remus needed to know that they would forever be there for him. Illegal activity included.

"We all have our secrets, Evans," James eventually spoke, his voice rather flat. He turned to gaze at her. "Please let me keep mine."

She hesitated but her eyes didn't stray from his. She could see a deep-routing defenselessness in his expression, a sort of vulnerability that Lily wasn't used to seeing from him.

"Please," he whispered when she didn't respond.

He sounded so desperate she couldn't not agree. So she nodded. "I get it, James. I do," she said, neither of them even realizing that his first name slipped off her tongue. But the oddly touching moment they were sharing seemed to have warranted it. "I won't ask any more questions."

"Really?" he asked warily.

She nodded. "It's like you said," she muttered defeatedly. "We all have our secrets, right?"

They continued to gaze at each other, their eyes unlocking the vulnerability resting in both of their souls. James wanted so desperately to ask her what secrets she was hiding, secrets he had always known she had based on the faraway, voice glint that forever remained in her eyes. But he had just requested for her to leave his secrets alone and for once in his life, he was going to respect her own privacy.

She finally broke eye contact with him, sighing inwardly. "Why do bad things happen to good people?" she whispered.

James didn't respond but she didn't expect him to. It was a question she often wondered about, but it was a question she knew she would never get a straight answer to.

Neither said anything else for the rest of the night. Eventually, they climbed off those stairs and finished rounds in a comfortable silence. There weren't any other words to say and they were both grateful to just use that evening to reflect and reminisce.

James didn't bother knocking as he entered his friends' dorm room. A quick sweep of the room showed Remus with his Potions essay in his hand as he lounged on his bed, Peter hunched over his Astronomy chart at his desk, and Sirius poring over the Marauder's Map, probably starting to plan their next full moon excursion.

Before any of them could greet him, James blurted out, "Word around the street is that Remus told a certain Head Girl that it was him who was sick once a month instead of his mother."

Two heads jerked their heads over at Remus, their mouths dropping open. "Uh…what?" Peter spurted out.

Remus sat there like a deer in headlights. "Er…and a good evening to you, too, James."

James rolled his eyes, plopping on to his bed with a curt shrug.

"You…you told Lily-bean?" Sirius asked once he found his voice.

"I didn't tell her everything. She doesn't know that I'm a were-"

"Uh, I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you," James muttered, shutting his eyes sheepishly.

If he had had his eyes open, he would have been on the receiving end of a shocked glare. It was Remus' turn to shout out, "What?"

James shrugged, peeking an eye open cautiously. "She didn't get the Head Girl position by being naïve. She figured it out."

Remus narrowed his eyes at his friend, reading his expression. He sighed when James' eyes darted towards the floor studiously. "Damnit, James, you told her, didn't you."

He cringed guiltily. "She said you had told her everything! I assumed that meant she knew about your furry little friend!"

"Why the hell would I tell her that?"

James snorted. "I don't know, why the hell would you tell her it was you and not your mother who was sick every month?"

"I was covering for you!"

"But why?" James demanded.

Remus sighed, sitting upright on his bed. "Look, I have no clue what the hell is running through Lily's mind lately when it comes to you, but she didn't need to have one more reason to hate you. Especially when it wasn't even true. I felt she deserved to hear some of the good you seemingly possess," he muttered. "Of course, that was before you blurted out my deepest, darkest secret to her. Suddenly, I'm thinking you have no good in you," he added with a teasing smile.

James rolled his eyes. "You started it," he whined.

Sirius cleared his throat loudly. "Excuse me, can an innocent bystander interject here?"

"I hardly doubt you've ever been innocent," Remus snorted.

Sirius shot him a look.

"But continue," he replied sheepishly.

"No, actually, I would like you to continue," Sirius urged with a confused expression on his face. "Continue telling me what the hell led to your decision to tell Lily anything about our secrets. Please, don't leave a goddamned thing out."

"Sirius, don't overreact," James pleaded. "She doesn't know everything. She has no clue about our Animagi transformations."

"Yeah, and how long until she figures that out?"

"Why do you sound angry?" Remus asked, surprised. "If anyone should be angry, it should be me."

"No," Sirius snapped. "Because it's like James said, you started it."

"Technically, James started it by foolishly getting caught by the Head Girl sneaking back into his room at four o'clock in the morning."

"Well, who the hell is awake at that time anyway?" James whined.

"Uh, the four of us?" Peter snorted.

"I still don't get it," Sirius interjected, ignoring Peter completely. "So you waltzed into your room at four in the morning and Lily-bean most likely chewed you out? Why would that make you, Remus, suddenly decide to tell her a secret that inevitably affects us all? And, James, how does one exactly just accidentally blurt out something like your best friend howls at every full moon? And how in the bloody hell does any of this not make Lily wonder what the hell James, or really what all three of the non-werewolf Marauders, are doing up until four o'clock in the morning when there is a goddamned werewolf on the loose!"

Three pairs of shocked eyes stared up at him. "Honestly, Sirius, why are you getting so worked up?" Remus asked, frowning. "It was my decision to tell Lily the truth. Er…well, a half-hearted, exaggerated portion of the truth. I was the one who risked exposure. Which thanks to James apparently lasted all of a few hours."

"I said I was sorry!"

"No, you didn't."

James' eyebrows creased curiously. "Oh," he spoke. "Well, I am. I should have kept my mouth shut. I-I just assumed you had told her everything."

"What?" Remus groaned. "Why would you assume that?"

"Because she said you had told her everything!" James argued. "Haven't we already gone over this?"

Remus sighed. "Just tell me how much damage control I need to do and I'll take care of it."

"She didn't freak out," James corrected with an oddly calm shrug. "She barely said anything on the subject actually. She just kinda…accepted it."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh, right. Because finding out one of your friends transforms into a furry monster once a month is easy to accept."

"Give Evans a little credit, Moony," James argued. "She's not going to be biased or think any less of you. If anyone in this entire school could accept the preconceptions of being unaccepted by the wizarding world, it's going to be her."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Her blood status."

"You're seriously comparing a Muggleborn to a werewolf?" Remus snapped.

"Not exclusively," James corrected. "I'm just saying that the girl didn't freak out. And I wasn't surprised when she didn't."

"You shouldn't have told her," he muttered.

"I realize that," James muttered impatiently. "But it's too late now. I'm sorry for telling her, but-"

"Are you?" Sirius interrupted, rolling his eyes.

James glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and say after you told Lily-bean about Remus, she didn't seem to hate you nearly as much as she lets on."

James frowned, remaining silent.

"So are you really that sorry for blurting it out and putting us all in jeopardy?"

James' eyes narrowed defensively. "You're seriously telling me that you think I purposely told Lily a deep, dark, enormous secret, a secret that wasn't even mine to tell, for the slightest bit of hope that she may actually hate me a little bit less for discussing something so innate?"

Sirius shrugged. "You said it, not me."

James seriously wanted to throw something at his supposed best friend. "What the hell is your problem, Sirius!"

"I don't know!" he snapped.

Three pairs of eyes stared over at him. "Er…what?" Peter asked.

Sirius sighed, propping himself up on his elbows. "I don't know," he repeated in a frustrated murmur. "I realize that it wasn't my secret to tell. I realize that you're more than welcome to tell anyone about your lycanthropy, Remus, but…but we've all been in this together for five years now. It's been…I don't know, it's been our thing. So yeah, I realize that it was your secret to tell, Remus, though James kinda ruined that for you, but I would have thought you would have confided in all of us that you were going to go running to Lily-bean. Because even though you're the werewolf, we're the illegal Animagi. So telling Lily something as small as the fact that it's you that is sick was still a stepping stone to exposing our secret. And I'm not so sure she would be as accepting of our illegal activity as she apparently was of your lycanthropy."

Remus shook his head. "You're not telling us everything."

Sirius' eyes returned to the map evasively. "Just forget it," he muttered. "I know this isn't any of my business so I'll just stay out of it. If you felt the need to tell Lily-bean the half-hearted, exaggerated portion of the truth, you're more than-"

"Sirius, what's going on?" Remus interrupted, frowning.

"Nothing," he said, shrugging as he forced a smile on his face.

"Sirius," a chorus of three voices spoke.

He met their concerned gazes and sat back against his headboard defeatedly. "I just…" he trailed off, his lips forming a thin, firm line. He rubbed his temples, sighing deeply. "Look, I know we haven't talked about it since it happened, but after my stupid mistake with Snivellus, I just thought that the secret was going to remain ours and only ours because…" he said hastily and embarrassedly, averting his eyes towards a particular spot on the carpet. "Well, damnit, I don't know. But I know that I made an error of pushing someone towards the truth that night. It's an error I'm never going to forgive myself for. And Remus, I'm not saying what you did was a mistake because I don't think it was. But since my mistake, I was under the apparently wrong assumption that we were going to forever keep our secrets to ourselves in fear of any sort of exposure. I know it sounds stupid, but…" he didn't bother finishing that sentence. Mostly because he didn't really know how to finish. He felt really foolish for bringing it up, for overreacting.

"Sirius, please stop beating yourself up over that," Remus pleaded, shooting his friend a sympathetic expression. "It happened a long time ago. Don't go living in the past. What happened then should have no relevance on you or on any of us today, you got that?" Remus' words were firm and determined, his gaze hard and stoic.

Sirius shrugged unconvincingly. "Tell me you never think about that night."

Remus frowned. "We're not getting into this again, Padfoot," he murmured.

"What happens if Lily does find out about us?" Sirius asked, ignoring the response as he turned his gaze upon James and Peter.

"Look, Remus made his decision and we can't go back and change it," James pondered, pursing his lips curiously. "But we also can't predict what's going to happen because of it. Maybe she will find out, maybe she won't. And maybe she would freak out, maybe she won't. But whatever-"

"HAH!" Sirius cried out. "I don't think there's a maybe about that. She would definitely freak out."

James rolled his eyes. "Can we please move on to a more upbeat topic of conversation?" he whined.

"So…we're no longer discussing my lycanthropy, my reveal of my illness to Lily, James' blurt-out of my werewolf tendencies to Lily, Lily's reaction of said blurt-out, or Sirius' overreaction of the entire situation?" Remus questioned.

"Precisely," James sighed.

Remus shrugged. "Alright then."

Sirius raised his hand. "Excuse me, but I don't think it can be considered an overreaction when a secret like Remus being a werewolf has leaked out."

Three glares were shot at him.

He slowly lowered his hand with a sheepish grin. "So new topic of conversation, hm?"

"I think what we need is a break from the rigidity that has fallen upon us," Peter suggested, throwing his quill on to his desk.

"Mate, I really hope you're insinuating a late-night prank session," Sirius said, his eyes lighting up in anticipation.

James frowned. "Nah," he murmured. "I have a Potions essay to finish and after yesterday's late night, I could use some sleep as well."

Three pairs of shocked eyes zoned in on him.

"What?" James asked innocently.

Sirius let out an overdramatic gasp. "Lily-bean is actually getting to you, isn't she!"

"I assure you I have no idea what you're-"

"You just turned down the chance to play a prank," Sirius interrupted, rolling his eyes. "You're trying to get on Lily-bean's good side."

James made a face. "So what if I am?" he argued huffily. "We're finally making progress! The girl actually apologized to me tonight."

"Alright, fine," Sirius sighed, leaning back against his bed with a stifled yawn. "But you are in no way getting out of a Hogsmeade visit tomorrow night."

James hesitated. "Damn, I forgot we planned that. I don't know-"

"Don't even think about it, Potter," Sirius growled.

James sighed, smacking his head against the pillow. "If we get caught by Lily Evans-"

"It'll be a daily occurrence for you?" Remus snickered.

James glared at him.

Remus grinned. "It had to be said."

A/N: Interesting...now Lily knows all about Remus. Please review because THEN I'll review before I go away on Saturday for a week (now that my internet is fixed). However, if you DON'T review, I may accidentally forget...teehee, don't you just love blackmail?