How're all of you doing, everyone? We're back, and this time, things are about to get a little intense. Last time, Helios and Sejuani stumbled upon a few new toys, including a sword with a dope title, but were then interrupted by everyone's favorite Ice Witch. They'll have to play her games if they want to get out of the crypt alive, along with Skælveuvejr getting a good bit of use. That won't be all for this chapter, but we'll just have to wait and see where this goes, ah? So, LET'S GET THIS THING O-
Oh, wait. Forgot one thing.
So, a guest reviewer asked if I'd decided to abandon my previous Darksiders crossover. For those of you that enjoyed it, allow me to apologize, because the answer is yes. This may be disheartening for all of you, and I'm really sorry, but...it's just...that story had a lot of things that I wasn't satisfied with. I was enthusiastic at first, but the problem that became evident later one was that it just wasn't what I'd been hoping for. The whole thing felt rushed, and to be honest, if I ever went back to do it again, War's introduction to the League of Legends would most likely be completely different. I don't feel like I did his personality very well, and there are a lot more things I would change if I had the chance. But don't think that this is the end of the Darksiders crossover just yet, ladies and gentlemen. I have a plan in mind for the future of TDHA that could involve the Red Rider, so just be patient with me, okay? Now that we've got that fiasco out of the way, LET'S GET IT ON! FOR REAL THIS TIME!
Even with the armor that Ashe and Tryndamere provided me with, complete with the dope fur-lined cape, I felt the chill that crawled up my spine.
"Don't look so happy to see me, Helios." The Ice Witch's voice laughed, echoing throughout the crypt. "I wouldn't be so jubilant if you knew what I had in store for all three of you."
"Is that so?" I replied, brandishing Shiver Storm with both hands. "Why don't you come down here and say that to my face? I might have something with me that suggests otherwise."
Lissandra's voice laughed again, which, admittedly, sounded really creepy. The frozen walls of the crypt gave it the same effect as Zyra's voice, and it was even worse that Lissandra herself was nowhere to be seen. "Ah, yes, the legendary blade Skælveuvejr." I could just about see her snide, smug face. "Fool. You don't even realize the power of the weapon you wield."
"Really? Does this weapon have the power to kick your ass?" I shot back.
Lissandra, oddly, didn't answer.
"That's what I thought." I said.
"Alright, Ice Witch, what game are you going to play this time?" Sejuani asked. "I can promise you that I'll win, and then I'll break you."
Lissandra was silent.
"Uh...hello?" I called. "Ice Bitch?" Whoops, silly me. Slip of the tongue.
Still nothing.
"Come down here and fight, Witch!" Sejuani roared.
Nada.
"Er...I think she hung up on us." I sweatdropped. "That's a new one."
"Coward." Sejuani sneered. "Typical. She makes threats, but runs when it's convenient for her."
"Well, knowing her, she's got something unpleasant in store." I grimaced. "Whaddya think, Sej? Up for a game?"
"Bring it." Sejuani smashed her fist into an open palm, cracking her knuckles. "I'll rip her apart with my bare hands."
"That would be nice..." I remarked, turning back towards the other weapons of Pure Ice. "But how about we grab some extra firepower...icepower, whatever you call it in the Freljord...and smash her face in using that, huh?"
Sejuani huffed. "You go ahead. I'm dead serious about using my bare hands."
I shrugged. "Suit yourself." I glanced back towards Shiver Storm, still in my grip. "Uh...I don't suppose there's a scabbard for this thing, is there?"
Right on cue, frost swirled into existence around the two-handed sword, hardening into ice around the blade. After a few seconds, it had developed into a scabbard, glittering white with blue veins of Pure Ice.
"Oh. Neat!" I perked up. "What else can you do, I wonder?"
Chuckling at the sudden display, I strode towards the remainder of the vault, intent on claiming a few more toys. You could never go wrong with bringing plenty of backup weapons. You never knew when you'd need 'em. That spear looked a little tempting. It'd been a while since I used one. The last time had been before undergoing the process of Ascension in Shurima. I'm still bitter that it didn't do much for me.
But instead of walking through the archway to claim my prize, I was smacked in the face by a solid wall of Dark Ice, which had suddenly manifested out of thin air. We were completely cut off from the other weapons, which would have provided a significant advantage.
Lissandra's laughter echoed throughout the cavern, before fading away to nothing.
"Okay...she didn't hang up after all, I guess." I rubbed the bridge of my nose, where I'd bonked my head. "She's just feeling the need to torment somebody at the moment. Lovely."
Sejuani scowled. "It looks like the two of us, and whoever she selected as the third victim, have no choice but to play this game of hers." She pointed at the halls beyond Shiver Storm's pedestal. Various walls of Dark Ice had sprung up, blocking off several main passageways and corridors to follow. Only one was still available, which meant that it was most likely the one that Lissandra wanted us to take, for whatever reason. I didn't know if I wanted to find out or not.
"Perfect." I rolled my eyes. "Who's up for a bit of pain and suffering? It's been a while since I had some. I think that it's almost been a few days."
There exists a game that consists of nothing short of total warfare.
This game has been dubbed as the most dangerous, most lethal, most disastrous way to play in history.
When this game is participated in, catastrophic consequences can occur.
Friendships are destroyed.
Families torn apart.
Children mentally scarred for life.
Lovers become enemies.
Civilization itself is haphazardly tossed around like a ragdoll.
This game never has a positive outcome. You can only lose less badly than your opponents.
I am, of course, referring to Monopoly.
Bad things happen when people play Monopoly.
I nearly lost Shyvana once when I beat her at that game. I had to take her out for ice cream just so that she'd forgive me.
When Sejuani and I had no choice but to become Lissandra's playthings, however, I started to consider that her game was even worse.
"Where. Are. We. Going?" I groaned. We'd been walking for at least two hours. The whole time, it was nothing but eerily silent hallways of Dark Ice, which refused to even offer the slightest hint as to our destination.
"You've been asking that for the past fifteen minutes." Sejuani growled through her teeth, pressing a hand to her face and slowly counting to ten. "And for the last time, I don't know."
"Sorry." I replied. "I just need to vent a little."
"Vent somewhere else." She snapped. "Do it on a wall for all I care, just not on me."
"I already tried that. They're terrible conversationalists."
And that was how a fist cuffed me in the back of the neck, resulting in my face hitting the snow beneath us.
"I...deserved that." I wheezed, holding up a finger in Sejuani's direction.
"Just keep your mouth shut." Sejuani replied. "Next time I'll garotte you with my whip."
"Wait, you actually know what 'garotte' means?" I picked up my face to shoot her a skeptical look.
"Helios I swear to gods-" Sejuani let out an exaggerated groan, before stomping over to a nearby wall, repeatedly kicking it with one boot. She'd left a good-sized hole in the corrupted material by the time she was done.
"Okay." She deflated, huffing out a puff of air. "I think I'm fine, at the moment." She turned on her heels, setting off at a brisk pace. "Come on. Let's just get this over with."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." I muttered, standing up and brushing the frost out of my hair. I was having so much fun.
A small crunch in the snow caused our heads to snap forward. The hallway ahead split into separate paths, one leading straight ahead, the other turning ninety degrees to the left. Another crunch followed the first, coming from the left hallway. A third came after, followed by a fourth. Then a fifth. Footsteps.
I placed a finger to my lips, indicating for Sejuani to be quiet, drawing Shiver Storm. Sejuani rolled her eyes, because my gesture was admittedly obvious. I gestured for her to remain stationary while I checked it out. Sejuani reluctantly complied.
I let Nidalee's hunting lessons take over, delicately pressing the ball of my heel to the snow, before shifting my weight to the edge of my foot with each step, in order to minimize sound. I slunk to the wall, pressing my back and left shoulder against it as I moved. The crunching got louder, and I could just about hear the sound of an arrow being nocked.
I tensed at the edge, just around the corner. The crunching had stopped. Either we had been imagining things, or my unseen opponent was in a similar position. I took in a deep breath, readied Shiver Storm and bolted around the corner, swinging the blade in a downward arc.
"DIE, YOU SON OF A-" I trailed off, my sword hovering inches over the newcomer's neck.
"-Queen?" I asked. "Ashe? How the hell did you get down here?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing." The Frost Archer replied, slinging her bow over one shoulder. "But to answer your question, I became worried when Braum managed to return to Frostheld, minus you. He reported that he'd barely managed to escape the Winter's Claw, and that you and Sejuani had fallen into an open chasm. Despite Tryndamere's protests, I left on my own to search for you. That was when I fell into a chasm that appeared to open out of nowhere, similar to you, and, well..." She gestured around the area. "Here I am."
"Well, a Zaunite explosive arrow was actually the reason why we fell, but..." I shrugged. "Yeah. Sounds about right."
"Wait..." Ashe felt a hand over the edge of my sword. "Is that Skælveuvejr? Where did you even come across a weapon of this caliber?"
"Back that way." I gestured with my thumb. "We would've grabbed a few more toys, but Lissandra sealed off the entrance."
"Lissandra." Ashe let a rare scowl flit across her features. "I assume that this is some game of hers, then?"
"It looks that way." Sejuani replied, coming around the corner to join us.
The two potential Queens of the Freljord locked eyes, and a tense silence followed.
"Ashe." Sejuani greeted grudgingly, folding her arms and adopting a hostile stance. "Still using that old twig of yours, I see." Well, technically it was more appropriate to call it an icicle, because it was made of Pure Ice, but sure, why not? Made for a badass one-liner.
"Sejuani." Ashe placed a hand on her hip. "I'm surprised that Bristle isn't with you. Did you discover that one pig was enough for the both of you?"
"Maybe I just wanted to kick your ass myself, and then feed the scraps to Bristle." Sejuani growled.
"Not if I pierce your lungs first." Ashe replied, clenching her fists.
Sejuani snorted. "Please. I could break you a hundred times over with my bare hands. A little bow isn't going to do much."
"Oh, I wouldn't worry. I'll just aim for your heart instead of your thick head." Ashe snapped.
"Not if I bash your head in right here and now." Sejuani replied, stepping forward and drawing her whip. Ashe stepped back, drawing her bow and nocking and arrow.
Hoo boy.
Here we go again.
At face-off number three-hundred twenty-seven, if I was counting correctly.
Sejuani roared, lunging toward Ashe while swinging her whip, Ashe letting her arrow fly.
While I let the whole thing go by in slow-motion using light speed, I contemplated how to best kill myself before their incessant nagging drove me to insanity. There were plenty of options, let me tell you. Of course, there was my entourage, granddaughter and girlfriend to take into consideration, so with the longest, most agonizing, most downright annoyed groan I could muster, I got to work. I plucked Ashe's arrow out of the air, before grabbing Sejuani's whip and tying the chord around her waist, binding her arms. I grabbed the two Queens by the scruffs of their necks, and let time resume its regular speed.
"Both of you, can it." I said. "I am not in the mood to deal with this right now, so so help me gods, if you two bicker even once while we try to figure out a way to escape this frozen hell, then I'm going to take Shiver Storm here and turn it into a shish kebab, using your heads. Got it?"
I was genuinely ticked off, so my hair was doing its usual "spontaneous-combustion" thing. Not only that, but since I had a beard, the effect was emphasized. There were even bits of molten metal dripping from my facial hair. Pretty sick, right?
"...Fine." Ashe muttered.
"Fine." Sejuani agreed. They wouldn't stop glowering at each other, but that, I could tolerate.
"Good." I dropped them both, leaving them to sulk. I just wasn't in the mood to make a fuss over their attitudes. I'd probably draw up the strength later, but it never hurt to be lazy for a little while, right? "Now, if all three of us can get moving, we can introduce my boot to Lissandra's face-"
A faint buzzing from my hip led me to frown in confusion. Patting down my pants, I found that my phone was still in my pants. I had assumed that I'd lost it at some point. I pulled it out, thumbing over the messages.
"You still have service down here?" Sejuani asked, dumbfounded. "How?!"
"Easy." I waved the screen in her face. "My phone runs on solar power."
The resulting cringe from the two Queens was so intense that the walls of the crypt cringed with them. Lissandra was starting to regret trapping us in there. I may or may not have given an evil laugh at my own at their reaction.
Mua. Ha. Ha.
"Now that I've done my evil deed for the day..." I checked my phone again. "Huh." I frowned. "It's from Lux." Really, just from the way she'd typed her message I could tell it was her. Case in point:
From: LUX!
OMGOMGOMG HELIOS HELIOS HELIOS PWEASE READ DIS! :O
With a sigh, I started up a chat and got into a conversation with her.
Bitch, chill. I replied. What's the issue?
How dare you speak in such a manner to my sister, you villain! Was the reply to my reply. Apologize at once!
Get off her phone, Garen. Wouldn't want me to post that image of you and Katerina getting drunk in the pool, would you?
WAIT WHAT SEND IT SEND IT SEND IT (✧Д✧) (✧Д✧) (✧Д✧)
Cackling like a madman, I did just that.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A masculine voice suddenly shouted out of nowhere, reverberating throughout the crypt and causing the walls to shake. I don't think I'd ever heard Garen scream that loud before. The voice of someone's ass getting kicked soon followed. I could only assume that Katerina had caught on.
XD XD XD XD OMG YES! Lux typed. THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!
Anytime (╭ ⌐■_■)╭ I replied. So, now that we've done our fair share of humiliating Garen for the day, what did you need to talk about?
OMG HELIOS THINGS AREN'T GOING SO GREAT RIGHT NOW DX Lux typed. NOXUS IS GETTING CLOSER REALLY FAST AND WE ARE SUPER WORRIED BECAUSE THEY ARE COMING A LOT FASTER THAN WE THOUGHT WHERE IS THE BACKUP?
(◉_◉) Uh...it's coming. Just give me a few more weeks.
WE MIGHT NOT HAVE A FEW WEEKS SO HURRY HURRY HURRY! (ᗒᗝᗕ)
Just how close are they? ( ͠° ʖ̯ °) You should be fine, what happened to the High Councilor? Shouldn't she and the other summoners be stalling them?
Oooooooo...er. ( ‸ ) Um. They kinda...didn't hold up as well as we thought. Swain played some dirty tricks and got Malzahar to unleash Voidlings on the Institute.
...Well that's just typical. Did they make it out alright?
Yeah, but the Institute's a pile of smoldering rubble right now, if Quinn's reports are correct. WHICH THEY ARE!
(◉ᗜ◉)
(ಠᗜಠ)
(ಠᨎಠ)
...Wat.
(งಠ_ಠ)ง Them's fightin' words, bucko.
Listen, I'm currently working out a plan to get Ashe (and maybe Sejuani) to help us out. Right now, I'm kind of dealing with a Lissandra problem, so I don't have time to chat right now.
Okay, good luck (ᵔωᵔ) I hope you guys are okay!
You should still apologize to my sister.
(ಠ_ಠ) Get off her phone, Garen.
I ended the conversation, tucking my phone back into my pocket. "Well?" Sejuani asked. "What's the issue?"
"It was from Lux." I sighed, fingering the edge of Shiver Storm. "Apparently, Noxus has been making a lot of headway. A lot more than anticipated. Apparently the Institute of War is, at the moment, nothing more than a smoldering pile of rubble."
"What?" Ashe hissed. "Swain actually had the gall to pull that off?"
"It looks that way." I shrugged, before fixing the two of them with an accusing glare. "Now that you understand the situation we're in, can I trust the two of you to just get along for the moment and not cause any problems?"
Ashe and Sejuani gave a smoldering glance in each other's direction, appearing to have a wordless conflicting conversation. They then reached some sort of agreement, and nodded.
"I take that as a yes?" I asked. They nodded again.
"Good." I clapped my hands together. "Shall we get going, then? Lissandra isn't going to beat her own ass (though that would be sweet), and we need to find a way out of here."
"I may be able to help with that." A voice behind us replied.
We whirled around, weapons at the ready.
And there, with the smuggest, most annoying smirk I had ever seen, was Lissandra.
All of us were silent as our brains took the time to digest the fact that holy shit she was right there what the hell do we do?
I stared.
Ashe stared.
Sejuani stared.
Lissandra just waited.
We all blinked.
"You were all looking for me, yes?" The Ice Witch spread her arms invitingly. "Well." She smirked. "Here I am."
We charged simultaneously, Ashe rapidly firing off arrows while Sejuani swung her whip, followed by several swings of Shiver Storm. But instead of getting impaled, lashed and cleaved in half all at once, Lissandra's form cracked, like glass in a mirror. In fact, the cracks spread to the entire hallway, which I knew was impossible...usually. Either there was some freaky space-time portal shit going on, or that hallway was not a real hallway.
The cracks reached the walls, which was when the illusion dissipated. The hallway slowly faded to nothingness, revealing the cold, blank face of a wall of Dark Ice. The area around us shimmered and warped, revealing similar constructions. New pathways opened up, to a room filled with glossy Dark Ice, in the form of pillars, archways, even the floors and ceiling.
"Oh, silly me." Lissandra's disembodied voice echoed. "This is where the real game begins."
"Oh, joy, the old 'mirror mind tricks' routine." I grumbled. "What exactly makes you think we'll play your game, huh?"
"It's quite simple, actually." Lissandra replied. "If you don't, you'll be trapped down here forever, and eventually starve to death."
"...I guess you've got a point." I conceded. "Bring it on, bitch."
Lissandra laughed. "Mind that overconfidence of yours, Helios. Someone might pay the price for it." Fool. The price for my overconfidence was completely free. My ego was the equivalent of Walmart on Black Friday. Chaotic, confusing, and offered at the price of next to nothing.
(AN: We really need to stop making references.)
Shut up, the readers are enjoying it.
"So, would you care to step into my Maze of Mirrors?" Lissandra asked. "I'm looking forward to tearing your minds apart piece by piece."
"Maze of Mirrors? Really?" I groaned. "Come on, Lissandra, go for some originality, please!"
"Hey...Sej." I said as we cautiously picked our way through the cavern. "You mentioned that Shiver Storm could even hurt Frozen Watchers, right? Is that all it can do, or...what?" Our reflections shifted and warped in the Dark Ice around us, making it extremely difficult to even find the way forward. Sometimes passageways would turn out to be sheer walls, and the floor to actually be a pit that went down gods-know-how far. This cave was a deathtrap, and Lissandra was no doubt loving every single minute of it.
Sejuani looked at me curiously. "I would have assumed you knew such things. Haven't you been watching the entire world since it's creation?"
I shrugged. "History lessons bore me. I just pay attention to whatever looks the most interesting at the time. Plus, it's kind of hard to see through a blizzard."
Sejuani just left it at that.
"But to answer your question, Helios," Ashe said. "Skælveuvejr is said to be capable of summoning fierce, raging storms out of nothing, and legend has it that in the right hands, Skælveuvejr, or any of the old weapons, could manipulate the entire Freljord itself if one who is worthy was to wield it."
I frowned down at the sword in my hands. Shiver Storm didn't feel particularly powerful. It had the aura, but so far it hadn't actually done anything noteworthy. I guess I wasn't worthy? I was calling bullshit, because I was a pretty decent guy. Maybe a Freljordian had to be the wielder?
"He asked me, pansy." Sejuani muttered.
"You weren't willing to offer a suitable answer, pig, so I decided to do it myself." Ashe shot back.
"Are you implying that I'm stupid?" Sejuani growled. "I'd be willing to bash you head in and 'lower you toy level' if that's the case."
"I doubt that it'd even make a difference if I impaled your thick skull." Ashe haughtily replied. "It isn't like there's much of a brain in there to begin with.'
"Why, I oughta-" Sejuani raised her whip, but a cuff over their heads caused them to settle down. I wasn't having it today.
"Well, aren't you two getting along swimmingly." Lissandra appeared in a nearby mirror, hands on her hips with a smug smile. "It's a wonder that you haven't killed each other already. Then again..." She lazily examined a few nails. "Neither of you are really fit to rule, are you? And Helios doesn't even possess the brain cells to come up with a solution that doesn't involve violence."
"Shut up!" I barked, swinging Shiver Storm at the reflection. My momentum carried me through the pillar, sending chunks of Dark Ice scattering. I tripped over a horizontal pillar that appeared to have manifested out of nowhere, almost impaling my face on a small icicle on the floor. I broke my fall with one hand, but it had still been a close call. Great. Lissandra was only subtly trying to kill us. "Say that to my face in person, why don't you?!"
"Coward!" Sejuani yelled. "Stay and fight!"
"And why exactly would I want to do that?" Lissandra reformed on the ceiling, appearing to lie on one side with a bored expression. "And I can't help but notice that 'coward' seems to be a frequent occupant of your vocabulary. Tell me, do you say that to everyone who has better things to do than entertain you with a brief tussle?"
"Only to those who are afraid to lose!" She snapped, lashing the ceiling.
A gust of icy wind threw Sejuani off her feet, slamming her into a wall. A barrage of icicles soon followed, aimed at her throat. Sejuani rolled out of the way just in the nick of time, the icicles embedding themselves where she'd been a few milliseconds earlier.
"Watch your tongue." Lissandra's voice took a cutting edge. "Do not forget where you are. You may be playing my game, but at any time I could decided to halt the 'festivities' and simply end you." She manifested in a pillar of ice opposite the Winter's Wrath, chuckling. "You inherited much of my sister Serylda's personality. You share her stubbornness and lack of vision." She leaned against the side of the pillar, almost like she was stuck in a cage. "That lack of vision, coupled with a remarkably insufficient ability to prepare against attack from the shadows, ultimately led to me slitting her throat."
Sejuani charged with a shriek, punching straight through the ice, right where Lissandra's face would've been. She winced as she pulled out her fist, the knuckles soaked in blood where jagged ice had cut through the skin.
"I swear to all the gods that I will kill you." Sejuani said through clenched teeth. "I'll rip off your head and mount it on a pike for all the world to see."
"I'd like to see you try, truly, I would." Lissandra reappeared on the floor beneath her. "Perhaps you'd have an end more befitting of a proper warrior." Lissandra grinned menacingly. "Or maybe I'll slit your throat and string you up on a glacier, similar to my sister."
Sejuani punched the ground with her other hand, cracking the floor. Once again, her fist came out coated in blood, trembling.
Lissandra laughed. "Dear me, you are furious." Her voice was coming from all directions, choosing to stay out of sight. "You're far more fun to antagonize than Serylda. At least she knew when there was a joke to be poked at. Frankly, I'm almost disappointed."
"Lissandra, stop this!" Ashe ordered, an arrow nocked on her bow. "You have nothing to gain from petty insults!"
"Ah, yes, and then there's you, descendant of Avarosa." Lissandra shimmered into view on a chunk of ice behind her. She let a brief sneer form, completely hostile. "Mother's favorite. Always so noble, so compassionate. She never understood why servitude to the Watchers was so beneficial for us. No, she believed that freedom wasn't a worthy price to pay for power!"
"It wasn't." Ashe replied, staring her straight in the face. "We were slaves to the old gods, and only by Avarosa's rebellion were we able to truly break free from our shackles, and become a proud, prosperous people!"
"Ah, there it is." Lissandra mused, disappearing and resurfacing on an archway above us, lounging casually against the ice. "The consistent stream of eloquent speech and inspirational blather. Avarosa was rather fond of those, I recall." She fingered the ice beneath her, drawing little circle marks on the reflective surface.
"She was the exact opposite of Serylda. Quiet, unassuming, timid, and possessing of a complete lack of backbone."
"Do not insult the first Queen of the Freljord!" Ashe shouted. "She was everything that I aspire to be, and will become!"
"You wish to be weak?" Lissandra snorted. "Your self-esteem truly is pitiful."
"Avarosa was not weak!" Ashe replied. "She led the rebellion against the Watchers all those years ago, and she won! Who are you to call her weak?!"
"Her sister, of course." Lissandra said. "I could spend hours telling you of her many flaws, and how they cost her the throne, but I think I'll start with just one for now." Lissandra chuckled darkly.
"Avarosa was gifted with words, to be sure, but she completely lacked the firmness required to properly rule a kingdom. She would always do only what her subjects wanted her to do, and never had her own vision for the future of the Freljord. And like Serylda, she was far too trusting for her own good." She cackled. "The idiot girl never even anticipated me killing her in sleep!"
"It was you." Ashe said, clenching her jaw. "You murdered her."
"Of course I did." Lissandra clicked her tongue. "She was weak and unfit to rule, so I simply disposed of her. Why..." The Ice Witch snickered. "I even dumped her body out in the woods, with nothing but her bow and a simple label to indicate it was her! And to top it all, you came along believing she had chosen you!"
"No." Ashe whispered, her arms trembling as she held her bow. "I refuse to believe your lies." She was putting up a fight, but her gaze seemed unfocused and hazy. "I was chosen as the last of Avarosa's bloodline. I know this to be true."
"Did I hurt your feelings, Ashe?" Lissandra cooed, like she was talking to a puppy. "I know this may seem cutting, but the fact is that the only reason you made it this far in opposing me was that you simply recycled the battered trinket of a weak-willed servant girl, and pretended to be someone that even Avarosa wasn't."
"STOP!" Ashe screamed, letting an arrow fly. It hit straight between Lissandra's eyes, right over her unamused visage. The Frost Archer was shaking, her breath heavy and uneven.
"Look at you." Lissandra grunted. "Falling apart after nothing more than a bit of criticism." She sneered. "Pathetic."
I'd honestly never seen Ashe this shaken. She could face down the Gelid Vortex without so much as blinking, and suddenly she couldn't take a few snide remarks? Of course, this was Lissandra. She had a way of getting inside your head with only a single sentence. It didn't help that she personally knew Avarosa and Serylda, either. Nothing like a relative to shed light on a matter, right? Wrong.
"Neither you nor Sejuani are fit to rule the Freljord." Lissandra said. "It would be merciful on my part to let you die in this crypt. Unfortunately..." She vanished, this time appearing on every reflective surface in the area. "Mercy is something I view as a weakness." She had the most unpleasant, sadistic grin that you could imagine. It was something dark and ugly and malevolent, promising nothing but pain. "Something General Swain and I can agree on."
Oh, hell no.
"You're helping Swain in return for aid in conquering the Freljord." I snarled. "I should've guessed."
"So says the disgraced former god that allowed one of his subordinates to get the better of him." Lissandra retorted, retreating to a single wall in front of me. "That is what happened, correct? You were so sure of your power that the moon was able to gather enough power to banish you right under your nose?"
Great. It was my turn now. This really was worse than Monopoly.
"It's the same problem over and over again!" The Ice Witch cackled. "Your willingness to blindly trust others prevents you from predicting your own undoing! And if anything, Helios, you're the one who's to blame for everyone's pain!"
"Oh yeah?" I scowled, stepping up to her image in the wall. "And why's that? Last time I checked, you're the one going around squashing everyone's self-esteem."
"Why, Helios!" Lissandra feigned shock. "You really haven't discovered the reason yourself?"
I shrugged. "Can't say I have." I narrowed my eyes. "Care to enlighten me?"
"But of course." She smirked. "You created Runeterra, yes? You alone are responsible for every spark of life that the world has to offer. Human beings, Yordles, even gods owe their very existence to you. You've openly presented yourself as more benevolent than most gods, and your numerous deeds certainly suggest this. But despite your front as a caretaker and guardian, when the world encounters hardship..." She grinned. "You leave them to their deaths."
"What?" I raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? I'm not that heartless. I would never let my friends die!"
"Only because you're trapped in a human body." She replied. "Let's take the Rune Wars as an example, shall we? Billions died, and the world nearly tore itself apart from the deep wounds inflicted on nature itself. And yet, while families suffered and children lost their mothers..." Lissandra sneered. "You did nothing."
I flinched, as if I'd been struck.
I'd...never considered it like that before.
"I..." I sighed. "If I had interfered, things would've been worse. I can't go abusing my power, for whatever reason."
"Abuse?" Lissandra scoffed. "Some would say it's your duty to intervene when your 'precious creations' are imperiled. It seem to me like you were neglecting your position."
I was silent. I...honestly didn't know what to say. Should I have intervened? And not just for the Rune Wars. For all the skirmishes between Demacia and Noxus, for all the suffering and pain the world had experienced, would things have really turned out for the worst if I stepped in to handle things?
Would this whole war with Noxus have never started?
Was it really...my fault?
I hung my head, closing my eyes. Lissandra chuckled.
"You finally see the problem." She said. "It is you."
My fist smashed into the wall, splitting it into fragments. Lissandra reformed on another surface nearby, baring witness to my burning glare, my hair spitting out angry bursts of heat. "You're sick." I glowered. "It doesn't matter if I really am to blame for all of this, and you want to know why?" I asked. "Because I'm going to fix things by kicking your ass, and then Swain's next."
"That may be more difficult than you realize." Lissandra replied, gesturing to Ashe and Sejuani. They were, to put it delicately, "out of commission." The two of them had shut out everything else and we're wrestling with their fragmented realities, or whatever it is that people with broken confidence think about.
"I'll get them out and deal with you myself if I have to." I said. "What makes you think that you'll win?"
A wall faded from existence in reply, a blast of cold air hitting as it did, indicating that it led outside.
"See for yourself." Lissandra pointed in the corresponding direction.
I glanced back at the two aspiring Queens, hesitating.
"I've completed what I came here to accomplish." Lissandra said. "I have no further need of them."
Scowling, I reluctantly left them behind (I was coming back for them later, obviously), following the newly created tunnel. There was no flash of sunlight from the exit, meaning that it was currently night.
I came out onto a narrow ledge, with a vast chasm facing it from the opposite side. Connecting the two cliffs was a small, rickety wooden bridge, barely holding together amidst the howling wind. There was another tunnel to my right, leading to somewhere else, but I didn't care where it led at the time.
And across the chasm? The Frostguard Citadel, in all of its sinister glory. Carved partially from Dark Ice, its walls looked cold, cruel and unforgiving. I scowled. Lissandra never did have a good taste in architecture, especially considering how she kept the prison cells of the Frozen Watchers in front of it as watchtowers. Typical, right? Watchers manning a watchtower?
Well, there was also just one small problem with the Watchers' cells.
There were no Watchers.
(DJ Deadpool voice)
Oh, dang-i-tang!