A/N: Happy belated Valentine's day!

As always, thanks to fabulous reviewers subbykkaya, Quickening, Steelcode, KayleeChiara, Dogtag XD (so great to have you back - I've missed you!) and SkyeJ! You guys are why I post stuff :D

25: You make me smile with my heart

It's been a helluva couple of days.

Parker Jamieson hasn't left the hangar yet. Neither have I, for that matter, but I'm staying for different reasons. Her… I don't think she knows what to do with herself. The first few days, she tried to put that stern mask of hers back on, but she couldn't do it. It's like, now that she's told someone, the façade has cracks in it. She'll trigger at any moment, for the strangest things… Yesterday, for instance; she was helping Groove pick up around the couch area, moderately happy at one moment and broken down in tears the next, holding an empty coffee cup.

It's all painstakingly, heartbreakingly familiar. At least she reacts with tears and not violence, like Jeremy did.

I'm glad I have the rest of the Protectobots, and Bumblebee most of the time, to help keep an eye on her. She's not fit to be left to her own devices.

Compared to her, I'm doing fine.

Oh, I have the indicators too. Difficulty eating and sleeping. Waking up from nightmares I can't remember when I do sleep. Freaking out if I feel trapped.

Aversion to being touched.

First Aid's working on that one, though. He found a very creative solution. Shame it's not available to anyone else in the world.

"I love you," First Aid whispers.

I arch into his touch, trying to be as silent as possible. The berth area at the corner of the Protectobot hangar isn't exactly private, though it's as withdrawn as possible from the main areas. First Aid's shielding me with his body, but that won't help if I start vocalizing.

"Love you too," I whisper back.

"This okay?"

The ghosting touch of a giant metal finger down my side has me trembling. I just nod, I can't open my mouth right now. And then the finger scoots down the inside of my thigh, making me gasp.

This is amazing. Aid's got some sort of pulsing in his fingers, I'm not sure what it is but he says it helps him when he's treating patients. All I know is, it turns his fingers into the giant alien version of a Womanizer. And it reduces me to a puddle of purring sensation.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers. The finger moves up my other leg, across my lower stomach. Aid is exploring.

The talking helps, too. First Aid never says anything vulgar, related to what we're doing. Not like – him. Instead, it's endless compliments, constant reassurance, always telling me he loves me. Treating me like a treasure, absorbing my every reaction and moving away from what's too raw still.

He's doing a very good job of getting me past this.

I moan, the noise not entirely silenced, as the finger slides slowly down my stomach. For the first time since it happened, I spread my legs to give him access.

"Are you sure, love?" he asks, finger pausing to caress the sensitive area across my hip.

"I'm sure," I whisper, turning my head to look up at him. "I want you."

"My brave, beautiful Isobel," he croons, letting the finger move down my pelvis. He takes his time, circling the more sensitive areas at first, gently moving from the inside of one leg to the other.

It's beyond frustrating and soon has me raising my hips to encourage him. That's something else I haven't done since it happened.

"So gorgeous," he murmurs, finally placing his finger where I want it. "Pit, you're breathtaking, Isobel."

I moan again, quietly, pressing against him.

The finger's really too big to do much. But that pulse, oh my God, it goes straight to every sensitive nerve cluster I have. And First Aid uses it expertly.

When I tense and arch almost off the bed as I come, his finger moves away and the entire hand curves around me. I snuggle into the warm plating gratefully.

"I'm so glad I have an alien robot lover," I mumble, nuzzling at his fingertips. "I love you, Aid."

"I love you too, Isobel," he whispers. He slides a blanket across my body, swathing me from top to toe. "Sleep, love. I'm not going anywhere."

I lean into that loving touch and do as he says.

It's a bubble, in here. I'm not sure what's going on outside. I don't care right now.

Optimus and Ratchet came by yesterday. They were in their holoforms, to not scare Parker. The way she stared at them, though, she was at least unnerved.

I have several sessions a day with her now. Though sessions might be too strong a word. We talk. Sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for half an hour. I listen if she needs to talk, and answer questions if she has any.

She's going to need a lot of time.

Catherine came by, too, to let us know how things were going. Vale's left the base, apparently under his own free will, and the whole thing's become a police investigation now as well as an internal army case. Top commanders have descended on the base in the last few days and the whole administration is under scrutiny. Catherine thinks they're digging to see why he was allowed to be at this for so long.

I was extra glad to be hiding with the Protectobots when I heard about that. I don't really feel like being examined to such a degree.

On the good side (and I'm making this as a bullet point list, to sum things up in my head. I'm making Parker do the same thing, sometimes it helps to make such a visible illustration of the good things):

- Parker no longer hates me

- First Aid loves me to bits

- Hot Spot is fast becoming one of my best friends

- Bumblebee is actually befriending Parker Jamieson, and I never would have seen that coming if I lived as long as First Aid

- Ratchet and Optimus are openly affectionate and absolutely adorable together

- This, too, shall pass. I'm going to get past this. It's getting better every day.

Parker's list is shorter than mine. But it's growing. She had a longer list of negatives to start with.

Got to go. Groove wants to watch a movie. We've been keeping it light, easy, trying to avoid anything that might be a trigger. Yesterday we watched Lilo&Stitch, and I've never seen Groove laugh so hard. And it turned out that Parker and Alice had never seen Spirited Away, so tonight is anime night. It should be trigger-free.

I wake up from the soft slide of fingers across my cheek. I'm still comfortably warm, can feel the hum of living mechanical systems beneath my back. It's safe. So I open my eyes.

First Aid's holoform is smiling at me. "Happy Valentine's day, love."

I giggle sleepily. "It's Valentine's day? Happy Valentine's day, then." I stretch, sitting up from my little hollow of Autobot plating. Hot Spot has this perfectly shaped hollow on his back, I've been spending more than one night there.

"I've got you breakfast," First Aid says, kissing my forehead. "Would you be up to spending the day with me today?"

That means going outside, I can tell. And it makes me a little nervous.

But this is First Aid. Kind, caring, considerate, loving First Aid, who's been handling me as if I was made of fragile crystal and who knows me better than anyone else ever has, who I trust with my everything. If I can't go outside with him, I'll never be able to leave the hangar.

"Yeah, okay," I whisper. "Did you have something special in mind?"

First Aid bends and scoops me up into his arms, making me giggle. "I did. I was hoping you'd accept, so I took the liberty of planning the whole day. Don't worry, it's less intense than it sounds."

I lean in to kiss him. "You know I love you, right?"

"Heh. I can hardly believe it sometimes, but yeah. I know." I'm rewarded with a brilliant smile and a warm look under those long eyelashes, and I'm putty in his hands.

First Aid gets us down from Hot Spot's still recharging form without ever putting me down, somehow. He deposits me in the sofa, fetching me the food he'd gotten from the mess hall and a perfect hot chocolate.

Apparently, I'm being spoiled and pampered today. I'm feeling the first hints of excited butterflies in my stomach.

"Morning," Parker says, coming up behind me and yawning. "Room service today?"

"It's Valentine's day," First Aid explains with an easy smile. "Sit down, Parker, I happen to know food is on the way for you, too."

She sits down, but she looks nervous. I reach over to touch her hand. "Don't worry. No one's going to make you do anything." I smile, looking down at my own food. "Except, perhaps, eat a better than normal breakfast."

"Well, I can do that," she says with a small smile.

"Good," Bumblebee said from behind us. "Because I brought you a choice selection."

He moves easily around the sofa, bending to place a tray on Parker's lap. "Breakfast is served." Then he glides backwards with an elegant bow.

I stare. Bumblebee's on rollerblades today.

"Um," I say around a mouthful of chicken sandwich. "What's with the new accessories?"

He shrugs. "Arcee dared me to try. Apparently, it's considered a thing in California to rollerblade almost naked."

I just about choke on my food, laughing so hard that I have to fight not to spray it everywhere. Parker's collapsed in helpless giggles.

"Maybe if you're on the beach," she manages to force out when she can breathe again. "Most normal folk wear clothes, you know. And protective gear."

"I don't need protective gear, I'm a holoform," he points out.

"But people watch you," I point out as I swallow. "You might want to set a good example."

"I guess." He unfocuses for a moment, then frowns down at himself as the elbow and knee pads, wrist guards and helmet appears. "Doesn't look as cool, though."

"Safe is cool," Streetwise says as he walks past us in root mode. "I'm heading out, got a shift in five. You lot have fun today."

Parker looks from him to Bumblebee cautiously. "Am I… Are we doing something today too?"

Bumblebee dismisses the skates and gear and sits down next to her. "I had a suggestion. I wanted to ask you if you'd like to go for a drive? You don't ever have to get out of the car, I can transform in here and we can just drive until you don't want to anymore. We can catch a drive-in movie, or get drive-in ice cream, or whatever you want. No pressure, no plans, not even a holoform present if you don't want it to be."

I have to hand it to Bumblebee. That is a brilliant plan, tailored to make Parker comfortable.

"Yeah," Parker says, after hesitating for a moment. "Yeah. I'd like that."

I grin at the triumphant scout.

And then, my attention is stolen quite efficiently by the Protectobot medic kneeling in front of me, with an expectant and eager smile on his face. "Ready to go?"

Oh, I'd follow this one anywhere. I'd go to Cybertron with him if he asked me.

"I'm ready," I reply, putting my plate and mug down and letting him take my hands. "I'm all yours."

The smile I get for that could probably fuel the base for a week.

First Aid's other form drives up, and he picks me up again to carry me over to the car.

"I have legs, you know," I grin, pressing my forehead against his.

First Aid makes a show out of stopping and looking at my legs. "Yes, you do," he confirms. "Prettiest legs I ever saw."

That does it. I'm giggling helplessly until he's got me in the ambulance's driver seat, seatbelt on, with his holoform beside me. First Aid doesn't bother with such a little thing as his own seatbelt, instead straddling the center console and throwing his arms around me. I wave at Bumblebee and Parker as we drive past, First Aid's mouth nuzzling at my cheek.

I think I'm in for a good day.

"So where are you taking me?" I ask lightly, smuggling against him.

"It's a surprise," he smiles against my hair. "Something I've been planning for a while. Since before – well."

He doesn't have to say. I know what he means.

Damned if I'm going to let that ruin my day, though.

First Aid, it seems, still feels the need to reassure me. "I promise I'm not trying to push you into anything, love. I just… you deserve to relax. To have a good time. So I've come up with something I think you'll like."

I twist in his arms to look at him. "I trust you," I reply simply.

It seems to have been the right thing to say, because he kisses me. And it's tender, and loving, and sweet, and all those things that make my heart beat faster and my breathing speed up.

I'm hoping that First Aid is controlling those minor things like speed limits and direction and such. Because I can't focus on anything but him. He's pretty distracting. Even when he's keeping to the unspoken rules of post-assault snuggling.

I catch enough to know that we're on the highway, that's about it. And that the weather seems to be nice.

And that First Aid's going quite a bit faster than legal.

"Um, I think the speed limits are supposed to exist for a reason," I giggle, as his mouth moves across my ear.

"I'm an ambulance," he whispers, and the siren suddenly kicks in. "No one's going to stop me."

And oh my God, authoritative First Aid is hot. We're talking sizzling here.

Dimly, I remember something about him saying I should obey commands. The thought is suddenly very tempting.

I never get a chance to explore it, though. Because First Aid makes a left turn suddenly, taking us in on a small dirt road almost hidden in among the trees. I think he slows down, but I'm not sure – I'm not exactly watching the instruments.

Not until First Aid slows down and stops.

Well, the ambulance stops. The holoform doesn't stop. He doesn't even slow down.

"First Aid," I gasp, "did you bring me out here so we could make out in the woods?"

"Sort of," he mumbles against my neck. "There's a little bit more to go, but I have to transform." He pulls away, and I can feel the reluctance.

"Well, did we have to go on just now?" I breathe, letting my hands curl in his hair. "We have the whole day, right?"

First Aid chuckles, and my seat belt loosens. "Yes, we do. What did you have in mind, love?"

"Doing this some more." I use my grip on his hair to pull him up within kissing reach.

He grins. "Whatever you say."

It's midday before First Aid finally transforms and scoops me up to cradle me against his chest. From here, I can feel the comforting warmth of his systems, and when I press my ear to his plating I imagine I can hear the thrum of his spark. It's similar to the not-quite-a-pulse I can feel from his holoform.

First Aid carries me through the woods. I can see quickly why he couldn't drive any further – this road is barely more than a track, narrow and uneven with big holes here and there. He would have had to be at least a SUV, maybe even a Jeep or something.

Which is probably what happened. "Hound found this place, didn't he?"

"Yeah," my Protectobot replies. "He and Trailbreaker were exploring some weeks back, stumbled across it. It's big and private and beautiful, but it's a bit tricky to get there. We're almost there, though." He smiles down at me, visor glinting. "Close your eyes?"

He hasn't asked me to do that since it happened. He knows what I see when I close them. But here, in his hands, the feel of his systems a comfortable lull against my cheek… I have a feeling the usual horrid vision won't be present. There's no way I'm going to feel as though I'm anywhere else, with anyone else.

So I close them. And First Aid's finger caresses my back softly. "Love you, Isobel."

I kiss the hot plating next to my cheek.

I relax in his grip as he walks the last bit through the woods. Then there's wind on me again, and as First Aid turns the sound of his steps change from the soft thud of the dirt road to a harder knock against stone. And I can hear the sound of water.

"It sounds like the ocean," I comment, turning my head towards the noise without opening my eyes.

"Don't open your eyes yet, you'll spoil the surprise," First Aid says, and I can hear the content in his voice. "I'll tell you when."

Another few steps, then a change in sound again as First Aid steps onto a softer surface. He stays on that for a while before ducking, bending over while keeping me cradled against his chest, and there's a hollow quality to the sound suddenly.

"First Aid," I ask, craning my head to get a better impression of the sound. "Where are we?"

"Just wait, love." A finger touches my cheek comfortingly. "Soon."

The hollow sound changes, but doesn't go away. It doesn't sound like we're in a tunnel anymore, but it still echoes. I can hear the water still, but that's different too.

First Aid chuckles as I squirm in his grip. "I'm going to put you down for a moment, okay? I need to do something."

I nod eagerly. "Okay."

I might not open my eyes. That doesn't stop me from trying to figure this out.

The ground under my feet feels like sand, it gives and shifts around me. And the water is in front of me, somehow, a steady trickle. I can hear First Aid doing something over to my right, the noises his frame make a comfort even from a distance.

I hear the sounds of transformation, and then some more movement. After a moment, it quietens.

"Isobel, I'm coming over to you now," First Aid says, and I don't know how he knows not to surprise me when I've got my eyes closed like this, but he does. It makes me really grateful.

He takes my hand, and I let myself be tugged along.

"You ready?" First Aid whispers, and I nod eagerly. Yes please, I'm very ready.

"Then open your eyes, love."

So I do. And blink. First against the light, and then, once my eyes are accustomed to the sun again, at the view.

Because it is truly spectacular.

"This is magnificent," I breathe, trying to take it all in.

We're inside a cave of some sort, except there's no roof. I can see the sky. In front of me, there's a small pond, fed by a small brook that seems to have its source inside the rock face. The pond is ringed in sand and tiny pebbles.

On one side of it, First Aid's alt mode is standing. And in front of it, there seems to be a picnic.

At least, I think that's what it is. There's a blanket. A basket. Cushions. There's even a bottle of wine and a single glass.

First Aid puts an arm around me, then bends down and picks me up easily.

"Legs?" I remind him.

"Indulge me," he grins. "I love being able to carry you in my arms like this. Makes me feel like I can keep you safe."

Well, when he puts it like that…

First Aid puts me carefully down on the blanket and pours me a glass of wine. "I even brought a towel in case you wanted to try the pond," he smiles, and that look on his face tells me exactly how much he would like to see me in a swimsuit. Or naked in the pond, rather, since he didn't actually say he brought a swimsuit.

There's no way I'm skinny-dipping in February, though. Not in this hemisphere. "No thanks. I don't do cold water."

"Chilled wine, then," he says, handing me the glass. "And warm lunch?"

I sip at the wine, but shake my head at the food. "Can we wait a while? I'm not hungry yet."

He closes the basket again. "Of course."

For a moment, we just stare at each other.

And then I put my glass down. "This is ridiculous." At his raised eyebrow, I reach for him. "Come here."

First Aid isn't slow to respond. Before I even have time to register the movement, he's laid me back against the thick blanket, hands roving over my body, an endless litany of words flowing from his mouth.

"I've never been so angry in my entire existence," he murmurs. "I could have torn him apart with my own hands. It was a good thing Blades and Streetwise got to you first, because if it had been me, I would have killed him."

Small kisses punctuate his words, his weight pressing against me. I can feel my heartrate going up, and not for the good reasons.

"Isobel. Hey, look at me."

I open my eyes again. I hadn't realized that I had closed them.

First Aid's looking at me intently. I could just drown in those eyes.

"It's me," he says softly. "If at any time you're uncomfortable, tell me to stop. I want you to feel safe." He lifts his hand to caress my cheek. "I want you to forget him. I want to erase his touch on you and replace it with my own. I want to love you until you feel like yourself again. And if you don't want me to do anything more than kiss you today, then that's what I'll do. But if you want me to do more…" he leans in, presses his forehead against mine. "… I will."

Blinking rapidly to get rid of the tears, I put my hands around his neck and pull him close. "Yes, please," I whimper. "Make me forget him."

We spend all day there by the pond. And when the sun begins to sink towards the horizon, First Aid packs up our things and takes me through the woods to a small hill top, where we can watch the sunset properly.

I yawn, nuzzle into First Aid's warm plating. He's got me wrapped up in a blanket and is cradling me over his spark.

"Ready to go home?"

"I am home," I reply, cheesy as it is. "I'm with you."

First Aid answers by transforming down to his alt mode, making sure I end up in the driver's seat. His holoform appears next to me, nuzzling at my ear. "Likewise, love." He starts the car up. "Still, I think we should get back to base. Or we'll be missed."

"Sounds nice," I reply, closing my eyes and leaning up against him. "Wake me when we get there."

He chuckles. "All right, love."

I don't actually fall asleep. I end up in some form of light doze, curled up against First Aid's side. I can feel his alt mode vibrating around me, and the comfortable warmth of First Aid's holoform, and if I never have to move again that's fine by me, I can stay right here.

I can't tell when we enter the base, but I pull myself awake when we drive into a very bright space with lots of noise.

"Isobel," First Aid croons. "Wake up, love."

"'M awake," I mumble, sitting up. "Where – oh."

Not the Protectobot hangar. The main hangar, what passes as the Autobot rec room.

"First Aid?"

"I'm sorry, love. They asked that we come by. You've been sorely missed."

"You could have asked me," I grumble, but my heart's not in it. I can't really be upset with First Aid. "Oh, all right. We can stay for a few minutes."

But when First Aid slows to a stop and lets me out, I know it's going to be more than a few minutes. Because I'm immediately surrounded.

"Isobel," Arcee exclaims, throwing her arms around my neck. "Oh, honey, we were so worried about you. Are you – how are you?"

"I'm okay,", I try to say, but I can't get it out before I'm enfolded in another set of arms. Sideswipe pulls me close, holding me tight, and his brother steps in to embrace me from behind until I'm almost squeezed flat between them.

"Say the word, Isobel," Sideswipe swears fiercely. "Say the word, and he's destroyed."

Sunstreaker just holds me, breathing into my hair.

"That's not very Autobot," I begin, but then I'm whirled off to Jazz, and Prowl (and who knew he hugged anyone but Jazz), and Bluestreak, then Wheeljack, Blaster, then the hard metal embraces of Rewind and Eject.

And then Optimus. By then I'm dizzy, and the room is still spinning even though I'm not, and Ratchet's cool hands on my arms are a relief.

"Easy, sparklet," he says softly. "How do you feel?"

I smile and shake my head. "I'm okay." His eyebrows rise, and I nod. "I am. I'm okay."

"Is there anything we can do for you, Isobel?" Optimus asks, letting a hand rest against my back.

"You're doing it," I reply truthfully. "You're being my friends. You're being her friends." I look across the hangar to where Parker Jamieson is sitting with Bumblebee in his root mode. She's simply pressed up against his plating, looking at everyone with wide eyes, while he's talking to Arcee and Blaster's holoforms. I can tell from here that Parker's uneasy about Blaster, but it probably helps that the dark holoform has Arcee leaning into his side.

"I still can't believe the slagger," Ratchet growls, his fingers probing my face and the back of my head. "He's supposed to be a medic. He's supposed to help people! Not harm them!"

"Easy, Ratchet," Optimus says, and the looks they exchange, oh my God, I could just melt. Especially when Optimus lifts a hand to cup his cheek and Ratchet leans into the touch, still with his eyes glued to the Prime.

It looks like these two have had a happy Valentine's day, too.

Optimus turns back to me, pulling me into an embrace. "I am very glad to see you happy again, Isobel," he rumbles. "And rest assured that this Vale will face justice for what he's done."

"You're slagging right he will," Ratchet mutters darkly. "He will face justice one way or the other."

"Ratchet," Optimus says, and this time his tone is reproving. "The humans will handle this."

"I'm just saying," Ratchet shrugs, "that if they don't…"

"I have faith in Catherine," I interject. I won't stand here and be a source of discord between them. "She'll handle this. And then the courts will handle it."

"And if they fail to, it will still be handled," Ratchet mutters under his breath. Optimus frowns at him, but doesn't say anything.

I take each of their hands in mine and squeeze them. "Thanks, mechs. It's so good to know you've got my back."

"Whenever you need us, Isobel," Optimus promises.

I shoot them a smile, then turn to find First Aid. Instead of my Protectobot, though, I'm face to face with Parker and Bee.

"We're going back," Parker says quietly. "I'm – well –"

"You're exhausted," I finish for her. "You're overwhelmed by the crowd. It's okay. There's no one here who doesn't understand that."

"I'm taking her back," Bee says, and I don't miss his hand on Parker's back. I'm not sure what to think about that – on the one hand, Bee's an absolute sweetheart, but on the other, she's deeply traumatized. I don't want her latching on to him, that's not healthy for either one of them.

I nod. "I'm planning to leave myself. I just have to find my wayward mate."

"Oh, he's close by somewhere," Bumblebee grins. "First Aid never strays far from you."

"You two are good together," Parker says quietly, but she's smiling.

Okay, I've changed my mind about her and Bee. It's healthy. Because I've only ever seen that smile when she's talking about her dog.

"He's more than I ever thought I'd have," I reply truthfully. "Now get going, you two. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Bee nods. "Sure thing. Come on, Parker."

I turn away from them and walk in the direction I saw First Aid last. It doesn't take long before I'm interrupted again. I'm not that surprised, everyone seems to want to talk to me tonight.

More than a little surprised that it's Mirage, though.

Seriously. Mirage. He's stopped me in the middle of the floor, in clear view of everyone. Mirage, who's never talked to me in public before – and that movie thing doesn't count, since we were hiding in the dark.

"Hello, Isobel."

I stare. He looks – not embarrassed, but contrite. Ashamed, even. And upset. "Hello, Mirage."

"I – I heard about what happened to you. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. On top of what I've put you through, it's… Are you alright?"

I don't know what to think. "Yeah, I'm alright. Blades and Streetwise got there before any real harm was done."

"No, they didn't," Mirage objects. "The whole incident is real harm done, Isobel. It's just not necessarily physical, and for that I'll always be grateful to your Protectobots."

Huh?

He'll be grateful?

And also, my Protectobots? I have one, not the others. He has to know that, right?

Surely he doesn't think I'm entertaining all five of them? Because that's just - no.

"I was so furious when I heard, I was ready to tear the scoundrel limb from limb," Mirage admits, looking down as if it's something to be ashamed of. "Hound had to restrain me." He looks back up, meeting my eyes. "I hope the bastard will be prosecuted?"

I nod. I'm on firm ground with that at least, even though I'm still reeling that Mirage would come to my defense. "I think so. The evidence is strong."

"Good. That's at least something." He takes a deep breath, exhales. Goes for a smile, though it's nowhere near real. "I won't take up any more of your evening. I just wanted to let you know that I am glad you're alright. Goodnight."

He turns to walk away, and for some reason I can't let him. "Mirage, wait."

He looks back at me guardedly. Does he think I'm angry with him?

Well, yeah, inside I guess I'm still angry with him, but for this? I'm not angry with him for caring.

"Thanks," I say earnestly, reaching out to touch his arm. "I appreciate that."

Now that's a real smile. And I'd forgotten how devilishly handsome Mirage is when he smiles. He's got nothing on First Aid, of course, but he's damn hot.

"What did you mean, though," I ask, and his brow furrows slightly, "when you said 'my Protectobots'?"

He looks confused. "Only that you've found a family in them, Isobel," he replies. "And you deserve that. I know you were alone, before. Now you have more brothers than anyone but a gestalt know what to do with." He smiles again. "You're almost an honorary Protectobot at this point."

Oh good. That meaning I can live with.

"Yeah, you're right. It's nice to have brothers again." I've still got hold of his arm, so I squeeze it gently. "Thanks for talking to me, Mirage. I'll see you around?"

"If you want," he promises, "I'm here. I have a lot to make up for."

I make a split-second decision that I might regret later, but I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being upset with him. This is one complication I can at least let go of. "No, don't worry about that. We're okay, Raj."

"We're okay?" he whispers, looking more hopeful than I'd ever expected.

So I nod. I can't bear to burst his bubble now, and besides… I think we really are okay. "Yeah. Good night, Mirage."

"Good night, Isobel." The words are barely audible, but his smile is radiant, and when I walk on I see him throw himself on his mate exuberantly, which is more emotion than I've ever seen Mirage show in public. More than a few people are staring at them, smirking.

"That was very nice of you," First Aid whispers in my ear as his hands sneak around my waist.

First Aid snuck up on me. And I didn't get scared. My heart didn't even skip a beat.

I grin when I turn in his arms. "Hello, mate of mine." I put my arms around his neck and lean in to kiss him. "Can you take me back to our hangar?"

"Of course," he replies, lips still very close to mine. "'Our' hangar?"

I shrug. "Apparently, I'm an honorary Protectobot now. Except, you know, for the gestalt situation and the bond and the whole 'being another species' thing."

He chuckles, and with us this close together the sound goes straight to my pelvis, lingering there and heating me up.

"Take me back?" I breathe, my hands curling in his hair. "Please?"

Something in my tone or stance must have tipped him off, because he groans and kisses me again, pulling me even closer. I can hear hoots and whistles and someone – sounds like Cliffjumper – telling us to get a room already, but I don't care.

I'm with my Protectobot. And when he picks me up without breaking the kiss, supporting my weight with his arms under my thighs, everything else fades away.

Guess where I am.

I'm curled up in a heap between Blades's rotor blades. I actually am. He's recharging on his stomach, and it turns out that he's got the same little dip in his back plating that Hot Spot does, the one that's just perfect to snuggle into. And since Hot Spot is on the night shift along with First Aid, Blades is stuck with me.

He was nervous, at first, about me sleeping on his back. I think he's afraid to hurt me somehow. But he is the quietest sleeper among the Protectobots, so I'm not worried. Seriously, he doesn't move a muscle all night. So he's perfectly safe.

Catherine stopped by earlier. Vale's been interrogated by the police, and they've charged him with multiple counts of sexual assault. He's been fired from his position, he's losing his medical license and he's facing jail time.

Serves him right. I hope they throw away the key.

Catherine also said that she's been asked to replace him as base head medic, at least temporarily. It's actually a step down from her current position, which is why they can offer her the job. She's going to accept, too. 'This base needs a female medic right now,' she said. 'I'm going to do my best to eradicate the utter fuck-up that that arse made of things.'

I love her accent.

Parker's still here in the hangar. She's snuggled up against Bumblebee's plating, fast asleep, with Fergus behind her. Somehow, I doubt she's going back to her own room any time soon.

I might, though. It's not that I don't love being here with my family – and doesn't that feel weird to say – but I'm starting to crave the solitude. There's always someone catering to me here, which is nice and holiday-like, but I have my own space for a reason.

Part of that reason, right now, is a craving for privacy with a certain Protectobot. I don't see nearly as much of First Aid as I'd like to, which I've become acutely aware of since Valentine's day.

And I don't mean time-wise. I mean body-wise. My medic is hot. And he completely managed to make me (mostly) forget that bastard's hands on me – to the point where I just want First Aid. All. The. Tme. Everything he does sets me off. I know Groove suspected what I was doing in the shower yesterday besides getting clean.

I'm hesitant to leave before Parker does, however, so I'll probably stay for a few more days to make sure she's okay – probably until the trip to San Francisco at least. I think, the day she's comfortable enough to let Bumblebee recharge next to her in holoform – or just sleep herself while he's in holoform around her, even if they're on the couch; I'm not going to hope for miracles quite yet – I'll leave. Bee looks like he's gotten her to trust him, so they're getting there, I'm sure.

Someone else is still here at the hangar too, surprisingly (and amusingly) enough.

Alice is sleeping next to Streetwise again.

Apparently, seeing me and First Aid together triggered something. Because – dun dun DUNNN – I saw him kiss her earlier. They were hiding in the corner like kids, and he was so careful and hesitant, and she was blushing faintly, and smiling at him, and he was pretty much walking on air afterwards.

I'd squee out loud if I wasn't afraid of waking them up. They are so fragging cute! Gah – totally girlish moment there. But seriously. They're adorable. I can't even.

And Hot Spot's apparently learned from his mistakes. Because he just smiled when he noticed. Or maybe he thinks Streetwise is made from tougher stuff than First Aid.

I don't mind the difference. I'm just glad that we've made up.

Ratchet is coming by tomorrow, he wants to clear me for the trip to San Francisco with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. They're leaving in just a few days. I wasn't sure I still wanted to go, but they swung by today and pretty much begged me to come. Prowl's approved the whole thing already, and Jazz and Cliffjumper and Arcee are going too. So I promised I'd go – partly because resisting a pleading Sideswipe just isn't something I'm capable of, and partly because some time away from base might do me good. It's apparently a day trip, at the speed these guys are traveling. Prowl assumes they'll go by the speed limits since his mate is coming along, but that's not happening. (Fat chance, Sideswipe said – the twins are really getting a hang of Earth slang, funnily enough.) Sunstreaker informed me that I was riding with him for the trip up and with Sideswipe for the trip back, and it didn't seem like I had much choice in the matter. That's okay. I like the twins, they're fun. Also, the they have such gorgeous alt modes that the hotness will rub off on me by association, I'm sure. We're going to look good going down the highway.

Maybe I can get Arcee or Jazz to take a picture, so I can show First Aid. He gets a tiny bit possessive sometimes, and that always leads to a lot of fun.

I'm going to stop this before my brain (brain, hah – my hormones, more like) comes up with exactly how much fun.