Hey there! Usual disclaimer applies : )

Chapter 25

I step outside with Alice as we get ready to drive to the hospital and pause for a moment before getting into her car to take in the fresh spring air.

This is my favorite time of year. The days are longer and brighter. The air is warmer and sweeter. Flowers and trees bloom in beautiful and fragrant pastels. And there's so much green—wonderful, brilliant shades of lovely green.

And I was undeniably, out of-my-mind, crazy in love.

It seemed to take forever to admit it to myself. I just assumed it was infatuation or lust or a natural effect of those crazy sex-induced chemicals intended for bonding and propagation of the species and such. The realization that it was something much, much more struck me, oddly enough, during a Starbucks run with Alice.

I had asked her to make a pit stop with me one day because I was having an intense craving for one of their chai lattes. While we were there, I decided on a whim to buy a small bag of coffee beans.

Alice eyed me curiously and asked why I was buying it, and I just shrugged and explained it was the only coffee that Edward drank. I felt bad that he always had to go out for coffee whenever he stayed over.

She just gave me an odd look. I rolled my eyes with an accusatory "What," waiting for a snarky remark.

But she just smiled softly and said, "Nothing. That's just very sweet."

Her comment took me off guard, and though I tried not to, my brain just took off on this runaway train of disjointed thoughts.

I couldn't stop myself from thinking about all the things I'd been doing that I'd never imagined doing before. Not just making him overpriced coffee, but silly little things like calling him to say goodnight just because I liked his voice to be the last thing I'd hear before going to sleep. Or making sure my fridge had his favorite foods. Or saving all of my Krackel minis for him, because I felt bad eating them knowing they were his favorite.

I went on the subway with him, even though Charlie had instilled a deep-set fear in me and insisted I avoid it at all cost. I tried fish, for chrissakes. I realized I would probably even try sushi for him—though never admit if I liked it.

Ugh…even the thought made me shudder.

The future had become something I thought about more and more often, and whenever I did, I couldn't imagine it without Edward being in it. That's why there was a stack of resumes in a drawer addressed to several New York hospitals for positions I never thought I'd want to take, just to keep my "options open." Just in case…

That's how it dawned on me how smitten I actually was. I loved him. As in, seeing-myself-wanting-to-wake-up-next-to-him-even-when-I'm-eighty kind of loved him. I really, really did.

So I decided to sit down and make a list of reasons to go back to Forks versus reasons to stay in New York. It's something I'd always done when faced with a tough decision. It seemed to make it simpler when you see it down in concrete black and white. And when I was done, there it was, staring me in the face. Even without "orgasms" on the list, New York was the clear winner—and that made me amazingly happy.

But…there was just this one little detail I still had to deal with before I bought an "I Love NY" tee-shirt; Edward had never told me that he actually wanted me to stay. And I really needed to hear that before I packed up my life and replanted it.

It was time I grabbed my ovaries and did something about it.

XXX

The following weeks seem to fly by like a big blur. I see Edward as much as our schedules allow, and he liked to take me places he felt made New York City unique, like the MET and the Museum of Natural History, Central Park, and Grand Central Terminal—which was surprisingly beautiful. I almost felt weightless staring up at the painted constellations on the impossibly high ceiling. We wandered around quaint neighborhoods like SoHo and the West Village, and went to the Union Square farmer's market. He even made sure to take me to a Yankees game last weekend. Now, I'm no sports fan, but that had to be the most exciting sporting event I'd ever seen. Yankee fans—such as Edward, apparently—are loud, passionate and sometimes crazy, and the energy in the stadium is almost surreal. It turned out to be a lot of fun, and the food there was pretty cool, too. Brother Jimmy's fried pickles and a Cuban sandwich? Yes and please.

I was having the time of my life.

My rotation in Psych is conveniently at Queens General again, which gives me extra time to see Edward during lunch and much to his delight, I can continue to do dinners with him when he's on call. Which is exactly what I'm doing today.

"So how was your day, dear?" Edward asks, as he happily digs into the chicken enchilada casserole I brought. This has become our "thing." We discuss interesting cases over dinner and chat like an old married couple. It's sweet in our own silly way. I love it.

"Interesting," I say with a grin. "I met the Tooth Fairy today."

He raises his eyebrows as he puts down his fork. "Really now? Do tell."

"Well, he didn't look anything like I expected."

His lips twitch with amusement. "He?"

"Oh yes. I never expected that he'd have so much dark facial hair." Quite the visual, I know. "Apparently he wasn't getting enough of his tooth quota for the month, so he decided to pull two of his own to make up the deficit."

Edward shakes his head and chuckles. "At least it's a refreshing change from the different incarnations of Jesus you've met."

Ah yes, Jesus is a popular one. I've met him three times already in the past four weeks.

Psych has been much less demanding than Ob/Gyn was, with regular eight-to-five days. The experience has ranged from comical to tragic, so I like to share the more lighthearted cases as opposed to the sadder ones, like the poor thirteen-year-old girl brought in yesterday who was hearing voices.

Edward shifts in his seat, leaning back lazily in his chair once he's finished eating. "So, Emmett and Rose are going to see a show at the Bowery Ballroom Saturday night. You want to go?"

"Are you kidding?" I gush excitedly with a little shimmy. "I'd love to!"

He's grinning at my over-enthusiasm. "It's such a great place. Want to ask Alice and Jasper, too?" he adds.

I love that the six of us have been able to hang out as a group so easily. It's allowed me to spend more time with Alice, and Rose and Emmett are just so much fun. Besides going to Tara's together a few more times, we did a pub crawl together through the East Village that was an absolute blast. And the chance to go to the Bowery? I don't even care who's playing—sign me up. Saturday night can't come fast enough.

XXX

"That show was just amazing," I prattle happily as we leave the venue and each go our separate ways home. I'm buzzing off of a live music high, with a little help from the beers we had after the show. I bounce on my toes and tug on Edward's untucked button-down shirt. "Come on, I don't want to go home yet. Can we get a snack? Pleeeease?" I whine.

"Woman, you and your stomach…Sometimes I think you can out-eat Emmett."

I swat his arm with a scowl. "You're just jealous of my unnaturally fast metabolism."

He chuckles as he scratches his neck. "Okay, fine. What do you want?"

I stifle a giggle. Such a loaded question, Dr. Cullen. "Something sweet. And different."

He furrows his thick brows quizzically. "Different?"

"Yup. Something I can't get just anywhere."

He snickers softly, throwing his arm around my shoulder as we walk. "Different and sweet, hmm?" He pauses for a moment while he thinks about it. "You know what? I may have just the thing."

We walk a few blocks until we reach a tiny little café called Creperie NYC. And I mean tiny. I can't see more than ten people fitting in it. But it smells like heaven inside, and when I start to read the large menu displayed over a counter where a pretty dark-haired woman is taking orders, I actually start to salivate.

Edward orders a crepe with butter and sugar, and I'm having such a hard time deciding. Do I get the French dark chocolate crepe? Ooooh, wait—they have Nutella! Nutella with strawberries? Or bananas? Or both?

Can't I just taste them all?

But then something jumps out at me. "I'll have a Nutella and Dulce de Leche crepe, please."

After the first succulent bite, I know I made the right choice. It's melt-in-your-mouth gooey and sweet; nutty, chocolaty, buttery carameliciousness all wrapped up in a delicious crispy-edged crepe. It's like I need to make up a slew of words that don't exist just to do it justice.

"This is so, so good. You definitely can't get anything like this in Forks," I say, wiping my mouth with a napkin.

Edward smiles with smug enjoyment as he watches me eat. "No, you definitely can't."

I'm having one of those "it-doesn't-get-any-better-than-this" moments that just solidifies my feelings and strengthens my resolve.

I shuffle my feet on the floor, trying to summon the courage I'd been gathering all week to lay it out on the table…I need to test the waters, see how he'll react.

"So, umm…" I hesitate, causing Edward to look up from his food curiously, waiting patiently. Just spit it out. "Alice asked me to live with her after graduation. She's trying to talk me into staying in New York." I bite the inside of my lip as my heart flutters with nervous energy, watching tentatively for his reaction.

His expression is unnervingly neutral. "Oh really? What did you tell her?"

"Nothing yet."

He cocks his head to the side as he studies my face. "Is it something you're considering?"

"I'm not really sure, but I've been thinking about it," I admit cautiously, shifting in my seat. "She said the hospitals are always looking for PAs, and that I could get some really great experience here. She really wants me to stay."

Do you, Edward?

He nods his head thoughtfully, and I catch a quick little jaw twitch. "Well, it doesn't really matter what Alice wants," he says. My stomach twists a little at his response. "What do you want, Bella?"

I want to hear that you want me to stay. Please, please, please tell me you want me to stay.

My foot taps away, and I tuck my trembling hands under the table, trying to appear as cool as possible. This conversation is even more difficult than I anticipated.

I just take a deep breath. "I don't know. I mean, there are just a lot of things to consider."

He leans his elbow on the table, running his index finger and thumb along his jaw, making my eyes distractedly follow their movement. "I'm sure there are."

Dammit, Edward! You're not making this very easy for me!

I don't even know what to say, so I just toy with my food, feeling his eyes burning into me. But I can't meet them.

"Bella, it doesn't matter what anyone else wants. This is your life and your decision."

"I know," I mutter, hoping I don't sound as pouty as I feel, as frustration and disappointment pull my heart down into my gut.

Fuck.

He's not going to ask me to stay.

I'm silent. I try to eat another forkful, just to keep my mouth busy, but my food feels too thick to swallow.

There's a bout of tense silence that feels like it goes on forever. I don't know why I feel so dejected. I mean, what exactly was I expecting? Did I really think he'd jump up and down and beg me to move here?

Stupid, stupid girl!

"Bella."

"Hmm?" I answer lamely. I don't feel like talking anymore. I'm just barely resisting the urge to run into the bathroom and cry. So fucking pathetic.

"Will you look at me, please?" Ugh. He's using that silky, soothing voice on me. That same voice he uses in the delivery room to keep hysterical women in labor calm.

Cue internal eye-roll.

I do my best to rearrange my features into a pleasant, impassive mask before I let him start pulling his voodoo bullshit on me.

"Listen, this is a big deal. I know you have a life, and a job and a family waiting for you back in Forks. That's a lot to give up, and you aren't going to change your life plans for Alice—or for anyone else, for that matter—unless it's what you really want." His gaze is intense and pointed. "You only do it if you're absolutely certain it's what is right for you."

"I know," I answer weakly.

He leans in closer, his green eyes now gentle and warm. "And no matter how much I would really love for you to stay here, this is a decision only you can make, and I have no right to try to influence it in any way."

I just nod in silent agreement, because I know he's right. And even if this wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear, it thrills and encourages me to know that at least he does want me to stay. "Maybe Alice isn't the main reason for me to stay in New York."

I feel his ankle nestle next to mine under the table as his lips curl into that lethal lopsided smirk he must know I can't resist. "No?"

"No," I say with a small shrug. "Like I said, there are a lot of things to consider."

"Well, if it would help you to use me as a sounding board, I see nothing wrong with that."

Hmm…I can work with this. "First of all, if I take an ER position, it would give me a lot more suturing experience, and it would reinforce my general medicine skills, right?"

"That's an excellent point."

"Second of all, there is a little bit more to do around here than there is in Forks," I say with a smirk, lifting an eyebrow for emphasis.

"Without a doubt," he concurs with a grin.

"And, well…" I hesitate as my nerves flare up again. Come on, Swan. It's time to put on your big girl panties. "There are some things I'd really miss," I add.

Edward licks his lips. "Such as?"

I bite at my lip, feeling my face get really warm. Am I really ready to show my cards? Will it freak him out to hear that I would move here to be with him? Am I willing to put myself out there like this?

Yes.

So I take a deep breath in and hope for the best as I watch him carefully. "I'd miss this," I say softly, motioning at the space between us. "Too much."

Edward grins like sunshine and spring are emanating from within, and before I can even register what's happening, his lips meet mine so tenderly that I can actually feel my insides dissolving into a puddle of warm, melted happiness.

Like Nutella and Dulce de Leche.

"Me, too," he replies simply, tucking my hair behind my ear and giving me goose bumps as my favorite shade of beautiful, beautiful green burrows its way into my soul. "Too much."

That's how I know I'm making the right decision. Nothing has ever felt more right.

I almost feel lightheaded with relief and euphoria. My heart is soaring, and the ovaries are Snoopy-dancing. With a flush of the cheeks and a light sigh, the heaviness dissipates, and I'm filled with this comforting buoyancy that somehow, some way, everything is going to fall into place.

A/N: Dayum, what I wouldn't do for one of those crepes right now.

Big love to Pennyloafer, Beccagold, prettyflour, NKubie, and twilover76, and to my beta mcc101180. And always to you amazing, lovely peeps in fanficland : )

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xoxo