Chapter 24: A Promise to Last a Lifetime

Zola had been brought back to London as a prisoner. The entire time he was under the Commandos' arrest, I wanted to kill him. Every time I saw his face I thought of the most horrible gruesome ways I could kill that man. I would draw out his death. I would make him suffer the way he made Bucky suffer. He would be on the brink of death, then I would bring him back only to torture him again and again and again; over and over until he was nothing, begging for mercy. He wouldn't get it. I would make sure he felt my pain. Death was too good for Arnim Zola.

I would not have my revenge, however. As soon as we reached London, Philips isolated me and Steve away from the doctor. Philips had revealed that, provided he cooperate by giving out valuable information, Doctor Zola would be allowed to remain in Switzerland. To say that I went ape-shit is an understatement. I was throwing things around the underground war room that Philips was keeping Steve and I in. It took all of the Commandos, Howard, and Peggy to calm me down. Across the room, Steve was sitting silently, watching with dull eyes.

As I sobbed into Howard's arms, the chair Steve was sitting in screeched across the floor. He stomped off and left, slamming the door behind him. The only sounds after that were my sniffles and Howard's calming murmurs in my ear. I don't know how much time had passed before someone cleared their throat. Dum Dum cracked his knuckles together and looked around the room to each and every one of us. He had the attention of everyone on the room.

"I'm not one for making speeches," the men all chuckled, "Bucky was one hell of a fine man! The most dedicated and driven sonofabitch I had the pleasure of knowing. We knew the risks. We all knew what could happen. Bucky more than others…but we can't let him die in vain! We are gonna hit Red Skull and all of Hydra with everything we've got! Who's with me?"

All at once, all of the Commandos stood up in solidarity. Peggy, who was standing near the door when Steve left, stepped forward. "Philips will be talking with Zola now," she murmured. "I can get him to tell me where Red Skull's base is located."

"Hell, I'm in too," Howard, who was still holding me in his arms, said confidently.

"Poison," Dernier asked softly.

I turned away from Howard. Through my teary eyes I could see the determined looks on the faces of the Howling Commandos. With a shaky breath, I pulled away from Howard's embrace, standing up. My hands curled into fists at my sides. "I want them dead," I whispered to the men I had grown to admire and respect. "I want all of Hydra dead. For Bucky."

"Alright then," Jim looked back at a map of the world on the wall behind him. "Where do we begin?"

We worked well into the night, creating plan after plan, scenario after scenario of how we would take down Red Skull and Hydra at their own headquarters. But nothing seemed right. There were too many obstacles and we were having a hard time getting around them. Peggy, who had left to find Steve, brought him back after an hour. Philips was trailing behind them. He was just as keen to destroy Hydra as much as we were. His reasons were a little more political, but none of us cared as long as we had his full approval. Philips granted us top priority, giving us everything we needed to operate our mission.

"Johann Schmidt belongs in a bug house," he said as he stood in from of the map. "He thinks he's a God. He's willing to blow half the world to prove it, starting with the U.S.A."

Everyone in the war room clung to the Colonel's words. I started to grind my teeth in irritation. Red Skull was crazy. He was going to use his super weapons to control the world; make the human race slaves to Hydra's will. I wouldn't allow that to happen. Bucky wouldn't have allowed it to happen. I felt a pang in my chest when I thought about Bucky. But I had to focus on the mission at hand. I couldn't fall apart again, not when we had to destroy Hydra and save the world. My team needed me. Captain America needed me.

"Schmidt's working with powers beyond our capabilities," Howard said. He crossed the room to sit at the table next to Falsworth and Steve. Steve was reading over one of our many plans that were scattered all over the table. "He gets across the Atlantic, he will wipe out the entire eastern seaboard in an hour."

"How much time we got," Gabe asked, looking at Philips.

"According to my new best friend, under twenty-for hours."

A murmur rippled through the room. Steve glanced up from the papers with a worried look on his face. "Where is he now," Falsworth asked.

"Hydra's last base is here," Philips pointed to a fuzzy photo he was holding. "It's in the Alps. Five hundred feet below the surface."

He threw the blown up photo on the table in front of Jim. He observed it, shaking his head. "What are we supposed to do," he sounded dejected as he passed the photo along. "We've gone over everything. It's not like we can just knock on the front door."

"Why not," Steve asked. He was staring down at the photo with a deep frown. "That's exactly what we're going to do."

"Hand me that wrench, will you?"

Howard was laying under Steve's motorcycle adding last minute upgrades. In only two hours, we had a solid plan to attack Hydra's last base and take down Red Skull. Everything had to be perfect in order to work. Steve would take his motorcycle on the ground to draw off the Hydra soldiers watching the forest around the base. By doing this, he would be captured and brought right to Schmidt inside his base. The Commandos and I would be waiting outside across from Schmidt's lab. We would zipline across the pass and into the base via the window, attacking from the inside. Once the lab was cleared and we were inside we would alert the Assault Team and they would attack from the outside.

"Hey, dollface…Macie…are you listening to me?"

"Huh," I turned my head to face Howard. He had pulled himself out from under the bike and was staring at me. "Oh. Wrench. Sorry."

I grabbed what Howard asked for and pathetically handed it over. His fingers brushed mine as he gently took the tool from my hand. He sat up fully and faced me, placing the wrench next to him. Howard slowly turned my chin up towards his face so I had to look at him.

"Macie Mitchell. It's not your fault."

"Yes it was," I whispered.

"You couldn't have done anything. I read the report, Macie. There was nothing you or Steve could have done. Stop blaming yourself."

"I can't," tears were threatening to fall once more. "I could have reacted faster. I could have tried to grab him. I'm lighter than Steve. He wouldn't have fallen if I – I don't know if I can ever forgive myself. This isn't like how it was with Peter, Howard. I loved him – but he made me weak. I feel too much and that scares me," tears began to fall.

"Hey, hey," Howard's voice became so soft. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling my side to his. "I won's lie to you, dollface. Getting over this isn't going to be easy. What you saw, something like that will always stick with you. But you are strong. Loving someone does not make you weak – it makes you stronger. You will learn to move on. And you have me to help you."

"I feel like I won't ever be happy – not truly happy ever again."

Howard was quiet. I closed my eyes and felt the slow rise and fall of his breath. It was a comfort. "You once told me I deserve happiness," Howard suddenly spoke.

"I still believe that."

"What if – what if you're it?"

"Howard," I started, beginning to pull away from him. My breath hitched. I did not know if I would like where this conversation was heading.

"What if you're the happiness I've been waiting for?"

"You're mine too, Howard," I responded slowly.

"Really?"

I exhaled slowly, "I've never – I mean other than Peter and then Steve and B – I've never had anyone I could tell everything too. No one I trusted that much who knew everything. You're the biggest dick and the best friend I could have ever asked for. I don't deserve you as a friend."

"Oh – yeah – me too. You aren't a dick, just kind of a bitch sometimes. What I mean to say is –"

"Bucky proposed to me," I blurted out before Howard could finish his sentence.

"What…"

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for whatever pain I was about to inflict upon myself, "He asked me to marry him after the war. I said yes. I know I shouldn't have. I was supposed to want to go home. But I feel like he's become – I felt like he became my home. I needed him, Howard. And he's gone."

"Macie – I'm sorry."

"Promise me, no matter what happens, you will always be in my life. I've lost everything. I can't lose you too."

Howard cupped my cheek with his hand. I grabbed his wrist, turning my lips into his palm. He stroked the underside of my chin in small circles. "I, Howard Stark, promise you, Macie Mitchell, that I will always be in your life," I did not miss the hitch in his voice as he spoke these words. "No matter how, when, or where you need me."

"I do love you, Howard. You're always going to be my best friend."

"The best…"

"Besides, I need a place to stay after the war is over. I thought I could still crash with you."

"I'll see if I can make room for you."

"You better."

Then Howard reached into his pocket and pulled something out. When he opened his palm, I gasped. It was small and smooth and the deep orange color reflected Howard's eyes. "I want you to have this back. Look, I've spent a long time trying to get it to activate but it's a no-go. I swear. It's yours, Macie. If something happens, god forbid, but if something happens I want you to have something to remember me by."

"I'm not going anywhere, Howard," I whispered as he took my hand and placed the Time Stone in my palm.

"Like I said, it's yours. You can hand it back over to me when you get back, if you get back," Howard's head fell as he looked at our hands. His palm was still on top of mine, pressing the stone between us.

I did something that would come to bite me in the ass later on. I made him a promise that I knew I would never be able to keep. It was the only promise I made to Howard that I would ever break and I knew it would stick with him for a lifetime.

"I always come back."