Hello guys! So was I right, were you people mad at me for killing Jack a seond time? Well let's see what's gonna happen now.
Today marks the quarter of the story so Happy 25th Chapter Anniversary 'Windering Dusk:Renown Dawn'! XD This quarter chapter marks the next stage of the story. Now that should be promosing for both sides.
Well first like always my thanks: to xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx and to animefreak653, glad to hear from you again.
A/N: ever wondered how the voice for Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star goes. Well just listen to the one from Dead Space. Yeah the first time I heard that I was freaked out completely.
Alright let's start the next stage of this story!
Chapter 25: Drag Me Down With You
Then you show your little light
Twinkle, twinkle all the night
Fayth awoke abruptly from her sleep. Sitting up she noticed the dampness of her pillow and of her body. Cold sweat. She pushed her hair back and aired her chest a little while thinking about the dream that had kept her up for the last four nights in a row. Always it was her standing in front of the door, chainless, and her standing in terror unable to move. Each time it was the same people she knew or vaguely remembered lined up towards the door. Each time one being killed after the another. Killed simply or in the most gruesome of ways. The last three were the ones that gave chills to her mind: Lenalee, Allen, and Lavi. Something stabbed Lenalee from behind, something beheaded Allen, and something shot Lavi point blank in the head. The latter would always get her to wake up. Her past was hunting her now.
She thought it was funny because all that the word said was true. The courage she got allowed her to choose the way she wanted to walk, even if she didn't have a clear image of what that way was or where it would lead. The power she lost was greatly regained but at the cost of losing her best friend, Jack. And now her past of being a Noah for the last seven thousand years was huanting her in her dreams. She looked around her room, marveled by how humble it looked.
Four days had passed since the attack on headquarters. Central had called a series meeting of higher-ups to decide their next movement, leaving headquarters to deal with the casualities. The numerous lives lost were a tragedy, funerals had been done hastily the next day. But the greater damage was the injured. There were so many of them. So much so that some patients, mostly Exorcists, were allowed to sleep in their rooms to spare hospital beds but were expected to report for morning and before bedtime check-ups.
Bedtime was something Fayth had lost after the battle. Nightmares, the cause. She looked up and saw what had become clearer as the days went by. Tiny silhouettes of flying black butterflies going about, just there outline and golden light surrounding them. These butterflies, the outcome. At first, the first day, they were only spots of golden light. She thought it was from her injuries but as the days went by the butterflies became clearer the second day. By the third the butterflies would either stay were she found them or follow her and apparently no one else could see them. What were they, she didn't know and quite frankly she could care less. They didn't bother her so why bother them.
For the past four nights she would go around pacing her room until she got tired and fell asleep on the floor for an hour or less. Tonight she was tired of pacing already and thought about going out to the Order's halls. It was one in the morning, she doubt anybody would complain. Without bothering to change her nightgown, being only silk shorts and tank top, she simply got her sky blue cotton jacket that went beyond her shorts and her slip on shoes. Before exiting her room, she looked back to her desk where the book that Babylonia had given her laid untouched. She's refuse to touch it since then. Well tonight would be as good a time as any. She grabbed it and walked out into the halls.
Cold. That was the first thought that came to her head the more she walked. This place seemed colder than before. Then again, looking about, she saw the butterflies swfitly flying beside, behind, or before her. Every flap of their wings leaving behind a swirl of purple light. She stopped thinking about them and headed for the quietest place she could think off at one in the morning. Soon she found herself inside the dark but empty library of the Black Order. It was huge for one and easy to get lost among so many aisles. Finding a candle and lighting it up she found the furthest and most isolated place she could and found one at the end of an aisle in a corner. Sitting down she placed the candle aside that gave her eyes a small source of light but good enough. At contact with the tile her skin got goosebumps but soon she wasn't bother anymore by the cold.
She took in a breath and took the small, bulgy book in her hands and opened it to the first page. It was handwritten. Then two things made her shocked and surprised. One, the book was written in a different language, one that she hadn't read anywhere and wasn't as old as Latin. Two, she could read this language and with ease. To her it was like talking, she might not know how to write them but she knew, subconsciously, how to read and them and strangely how to speak them. She shook the odd feeling off and began reading.
Today marks the beginning of our experiment. Five of us had gathered from across the world to examined what we had discovered. The specimen will be the worlds that transcend beyond this earthly bound one, two others. One of these worlds we decide to refer to as Silent Realm, in which the wondering souls of the dead walk unable to pass over. Then there is were we beg to differ no soul wants to end at. We have decided to call it, Dark Realm. This place being the one were the souls of the damned are tortured for their pain and sorrow that accumulates in that place which gives it's demon-like atmosphere. None of us have witness this power yet none wish to either. We decide to work first with the harmless world, the Silent Realm.
Fayth thought about it for a moment. Where souls wonder unable to pass over, William said something like that when talking about Jack when they were to bring him back. So it's name is the Silent Realm. The next few pages only described this place more, how it would be a replica of the place where the door to the realm would be. How the realm is guarded against souls from the living who travel to those realms by Guardians, beings who shattered souls of those not welcomed. There were also what they called 'tears' in the book but didn't explain further. She skipped a few pages until she found the ones that described the Dark Realm.
We have decided to explore the depths of the Dark Realm. It was devastating. From the five of us only three came out alive. Two of my comrades and myself, survived. As the recorder I was left to my work. I recorded the basics on the experiment files but write here the details for the almanac. The Dark Realm was something beyond our expectations. It has similarities to the Silent Realm. Souls wonder around but unlike the other realm in this one they are tortured with their worst fears and terrors. By extracting those feelings the Dark Realm maintains something in the very boals of that world alive. Then there are Guardians in the Dark Realm as well and have the same job as the ones in the Silent Realm with the addition of breaing any living soul that enters the place.
Extract the pain and sorrow. That sounds like...the door. Oblivion said that there lives the humanity's hatred, pain, and sorrow. Sounds the same to her. So it had a name. She kept reading on the details written on the book but her eyelids started to feel heavy. She'd gotten tired of reading having been already tired of not sleeping. She tried to stay awake but everything was useless. She fell asleep soon after.
Then the traveler in the dark
Thanks you for your little spark
He could not see which way to go
If you did not twinkle so
"Ah!" she yelped jerking awake from the same nightmare. She passed her hands through her forehead and felt the cold sweat. She took a deep breath and bumped her head against the wall.
"Are you okay?" the voice made her snap up again to see who it was. Lavi was there confused with a book in a hand and a second candle lit.
"S-Since when have you been here?" she asked trying to wipe the sweat off her face with her sleeves. At doing so she noticed someting heavy on her back and saw the jacket slip off a bit.
"You were shivering when I got here," he said staring at her. "Wasn't your room good enough to sleep at?"
"That doesn't answer my questino, Junior?" she said a little moody after sleepless and nightmare full nights.
"Not long," he said putting the book aside. "You were asleep when I got here. And sweating. Was the little girl having a bad dream?"
"Oh you really wanna know?" she said taunting him already pissed enough. He blinked twice, surprised by her answer. She told him anyways, the same dream that for four nights has been haunting her. He blinked again and averted his eyes. Fayth wasn't sure if it was for the fact that they all died in her dream or that he had the boldness to ask.
"Sorry," Lavi said obviously disturbed.
"Why are you here anyway?" she asked hugging her knees.
"Reading," he said lifting the book he had set aside. "My room's filled with the old man's snoring. I can't focus there."
She chuckled a bit making him chuckle but that didn't take away the nightmares and certainly not the stress of not sleeping. She sighed again, "Sorry about telling you so straight forth. Not sleeping makes me really bitchy most of the times."
"How long have you been without sleep?" he asked.
"Four days. I think," she adds yawning. "But even if I fal asleep those nightmares keep coming and I end up waking up only hours in and end up wasting my night pacing until I'm so tired I collapse wherever. All in all, I end up sleeping nothing."
"When did those nightmares start?"
The question was so simply and yet she didn't want to answer him. "After the attack," she mumbled. She grabbed her head with her hands, "I can't seem to clear those thoughts out of my head. Of everyone dying even when I know everyone's okay now. I still think...something bad's gonna happen."
She hid her face on her knees trying not to show how flushed she was. Embarrased of how childish she was thinking and how stupid those thoughts sounded. Of course something bad was going to happen. Every day something bad happened in the world. This was no exception. The simple thought made her tremble.
Suddenly she felt hands on her back and under her knees that picked her up. Raising her sight she bumped the back of her head with his chin.
"Watch it," he called taking a seat where she had been and putting her small frame on the hollow where his legs formed a circle. "There."
"W-What're you doing?" she called loudly trying to move from the spot but unable her. It was like a turtle on it's back, no matter what she did she was locked there unless someone pushed her over again.
"You were shaking again," he said sheepishly. "You're still cold aren't you?"
"Let go," she fought against the arms that wrapped around her frame. "You pervert!"
"Now's my fault you didn't think before going outside like that?" he asked. A breeze suddenly came giving her goosebumps. She stopped altogether and became a little ball trying to keep warm. "You're odd," he chuckled.
Odd. Weird. Different. These words popped into her head when he said one. She was different, an Exorcist who was a Noah. She sighed remembering the things that happened at the Ark. That's right, she'd practically said something weird then. About caring for Lavi. Was that the truth? Or was it something spontaneous of the moment. She thought about it and about now. Her preoccupation with Jack had clouded her judgement about many things. Even now after he was gone things were still blurry. Did she like Lavi? Love him?
"Lavi," she called in a mumble and decided to go to the most random yet relevant question, "Don't you like Lenalee?"
"W-What?" he jerked surprised and shock clearly audible in his voice.
She slumped, disappointed, "You do, huh?" She sighed, "I knew you didn't really like me either. Back in the Ark was pretty obvious that you like her." She stood up, finally been rolled over from her back. That was for the best, to accept that there was never a chance. For her that hurt less, "I guessed that was it then. Just a fluke between us."
She was walking away to pick her book up when she felt a strong grip on her wrist making her turn around. A hand swiftly found her back and pulled her in and all of it happen at once. Warmth against warmth of both their bodies together and their lips pressing against each other. She struggled confused but he wouldn't let go. He simply pressed her body closer to his. And even though she was fighting it she couldn't keep thinking that this what she wanted. Soon enough her struggling ended and she let herself be engulfed in it all. This was what she had needed this past days. An out let from all her emotions, her anger, her despair, her longing. And if he was willing to then... She snapped and pulled back, "I can't do this. Not like that." She wasn't the kind of person to take advantage of a friend.
"Not like how?" he asked wanting to know.
She glared up at him, "Not with you pitying me cause I vaguely told you that I liked you! I want this but not out of pity! I've had my share."
"You think I'm doing this out of pity?" he said mad.
"Of course," she called out. "You're a Bookman! Did you seriously think I'm as stupid as the others. I know a Bookman can't be emotionally attached to anything. That's why there's no freaking problem if you like Lenalee but I'm not gonna drag myself into some puppy love for you."
"You're telling yourself it's infatutaion," Lavi called. "But think! Why else would I have done what I did back at the Ark when you came?"
"Because you were caught up in the moment. Out of you mind. I don't know anything!" she called trying to deflect the question. "But if you really did feel the same then it'd be pointless."
"Pointless. How?"
"You and I know it'd be just a waste since I'm a Noah and you're Bookman!" she shouted the empty walls echoing through the library. She couldn't believe what she'd said. The words stuck in her throat had come out. The fear of knowing she'd one day inevitably would become one of them or die and that he wasn't meant to attach to anything or anyone. She fell to her knees trying to make sense of the world she lived in. It didn't. Nothing did anymore. From the blur in her eyes she saw the butterflies surround her. Words in her mind formed, 'don't cry' and 'it's not your fault' to name a few. As if they were comforting her, telling her that what she'd said was true.
But then the sudden embrace took her by surprise, shutting all voices. He was burrying his face on her shoulder and grasping her back way too tightly. "I'm not like that," was all he said to her. "I'd never do anything like that out of pity."
"Lair," she mumbled embarrassed and trying to deflect the subject.
"I'm not," he said tightening his grip even more. "I don't like her."
This made her think, having to process what he'd said, "What..."
"Back then in the Ark and before that maybe but..." he said trying to explain himself. "Getting to know you, getting to know how you thought about things. It changed something in me. I thought if she could walk her own way with such a mess in her life, why couldn't I."
"My life is a mess," she admitted. "I don't want to drag others down with me."
"I don't care," he said pulling away and landing his forehead on hers. "Drag me down with you." He was telling the truth. She could tell by the way his eyes were staring at hers.
"What about Bookman?" she asked turning into a little kid in front of him. All flushed and embarrassed.
"I realized that being a Bookman doesn't necessarily mean that I have to throw my heart away," he said holding her small hands in his. "Even I can have a change in Gramps sometimes. I'll convince him. Somehow I'll keep both things that I'd give life itself to protect."
"Being a Bookman and..." she hesitated but saw him smirk like he always did.
"You," he finished the sentence in her mouth. It was blissful. The sensation of him warm and gentle. Somehow this was so different from Joyd's. These weren't taunting nor lustful.
He'd made his choice. He would find a way to keep both his life as a recorder and the girl he'd decided he have feelings for. She hadn't quite gotten there. She knew she'd have to deal with her Noah and her past soon enough. She would prepare herself for that. But for things that a normal teenage girl would handle like guys, dating, and love were out of her reach. Well, she thought, at least she had somebody as clueless about that sort of things as herself to figure it all out with.
Remeber that chapter I told you that was all lovey-dovey and crap? Well this is an alternate version of this but basically the same thing! Hope it wasn't boring or anything.
Next time I'll head for something involving Kanda and Lyra. I really wanna work with those two again. Please review. T
ell me if you liked it cause I really don't know how to write romantic things for crap. Comments ,critizism anything goes so fire away.